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Thread: He LIED about his job & living with parents , should I give him a 2nd chance?

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

He LIED about his job & living with parents , should I give him a 2nd chance? Posted: 1/17/2008 10:24:53 AM
Babyski, A lie is a lie... yes, he may have been embarrassed about his job (there is nothing wrong with working in a factory, BTW) or embarrassed about living at home at 42... (That one worries me for OH! so many reasons!) But more likely, than not, he was afraid of losing you... Maybe he was hoping to keep up the ruse until he actually got his own apartment and quit the factory and worked only as a pilot. For me it's not so much that he has a certain job or even that he lives with his parents... it's that he lied and continued to lie... (He could have fessed up when you asked the first time.) Personally, I wouldn't feel confident that he wouldn't lie again about major things... this isn't about being polite and telling you, you look great in a dress (that you don't) or eating a food he hates while he claims he likes it. This is about major aspects of his life. And if he can so easily lie about such major things, what else is he lying about? How can you think that you really know him? It, to me also, says that he thinks he knows you and judged you. Meaning, he believed you "thought" he wouldn't be good enough if you knew the truth, without ever giving you the benefit of the doubt as to your real reaction before he lied; prejudging you in a sense. Again, a lie is a lie is a lie... Anyone you wonder about like this is hiding things... and what else could he be hiding? i.e. drug use, a prison record, mental illness, etc. Trust your "gut" feeling... it WAS right before, wasn't it? But in the end, only you can decide what's best for you. But, if it were me, I would say a quick goodbye and move on. All the best to you! My two pence, -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

something I have wondered about Posted: 1/17/2008 8:52:15 AM
~rain~, This has happened to me... but things do often happen for a reason. Although I have no definitive answer as to why "their" account was deleted... my guesses are: THE TOP TEN: 1. They were found out by a spouse or girlfriend. 2. They were simply recognized or recognized and given grief about the personal ad. 3. They didn't get the responses they wanted or hoped for. 4. The personals weren't what they "thought they were" or "expected them to be". 5. They were looking for sex and it didn't happen or happen quickly enough. 6. They don't handle rejection well. 7. They were too busy with real life to bother with "on-line people". 8. They met someone in "real life" for a date and they weren't what they expected or they felt they were lied to or deceived. 9. They really have no idea what they are looking for or were feeling down and adding a personal was an impulse. 10. (On a happier note...) They found someone! My "ten" pence, -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

detering suitors Posted: 1/11/2008 6:47:21 AM
The testimonials!... sigh. I haven't read any of the testimonials that men leave for women on a woman's page... but I can speak of the testimonials by women left on men's pages. I have found them to be very telling and often useful information on which men NOT to contact. Especially when the women are touting how great the men are in bed, how great they kiss, how great they look naked, how they are endowed or how great they are at oral sex, etc... what a turn-off. It almost seems like I have been given a window into their "previous" or "current" bedroom... a place that I shouldn't be. The mental imagery is one that I don't want to have... it's bad enough to date a man and "run into" an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife on the street... I also find the "oh, he's the greatest guy" or "he's the nicest man" comments disconcerting. If he's such a great, nice guy... why haven't you snatched him up? Women are competative, selfish creatures... especially when it comes to men... I think it's a possible truth that this is a "way" of "marking their man"... and turing off other women in the hopes to gather him to her and keep him for herself. I wouldn't choose to date a man, based on a strangers recommendation in a face-to-face conversation... why would I find a "testimonial" information useful over the internet, other than of course choosing not to date him because of what it says and sometimes simply because it exists. It also shows me which men are the "cyber-guys" on-line... that, along with the near naked or naked web-cam pictures... Can you say RED FLAG? If you wanna show off your sexy chest or great abs... have someone take a picture of you jogging... grilling out on a sunny afternoon, swimming, etc... you naked, in a darkened room on a web cam is just plain creepy. When I see those I don't think..."Gee, I bet he's doing his taxes..." lol I shy away from the men who have testimonials on their page. They represent to me, yes another window into their world... but it's usually (99%) not a flattering one. And, luckily I haven't had to deal with those testimonials on my page... but should they show up, they would be deleted... they might be nice to read, or a quick ego boost, but overall I think they paint a picture of you (like the OP said) that will or may deter others from contacting you. My two pence, -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 300 (view)

Men who arrive for the 1st date with a rose.....do women like it? Posted: 12/27/2007 4:59:47 PM
Asreaa, It has been so long since I have received flowers from a date... I wondered if people still did that. I actually had that exact thought the other day... wondering what happened to that simple gesture. Among others. What happened to a man opening a car door... I can't tell you how many times I've look like a fool... left standing at the passenger door of the car; only to have "him" ask "Are ya gonna get in or what?" Sigh. I have even had the recent pleasure of a man walking into the building (coffee house) and holding the door, just enough, for me to take it, as he walked in, in front of me. Leaving me struggling with a very heavy door. Sighing again. Yes, bash me for being a bit old-fashioned. Bash me for being picky. Bash me for wanting a hint of romance. But! I do relish in those small gestures of chivalry, kindness and care. I love the feel of a man's hand on my lower back as he escorts me into a room, or pulls out my chair, or helps me on or off with my coat (gently untucking my hair from that newly placed coat) or the offer of his arm as we walk. All those little things... And yes, the gesture, of a flower or flowers, would definitely be the "icing on the cake" and make me smile... My two pence, -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/25/2007 7:08:51 AM
Quite simply, because men do. I don't know one man on this site, that I have spoken to, that is just focused on one girl... so why should I? I, previously, dated only one man at a time, only to find that they didn't view dating like I did... a one-on-one relationship. I even hid my profile, while talking to each man... It was very frustrating when I found he forgot he was married, was dating other people and sometimes even openly discussed his dating dilemmas or plans with other woman or was inconveniently busy on a Saturday night. I wasted a lot of time and sat home quite a few nights... I decided I wouldn't be doing that anymore. However, when I find the "one" I am searching for or we find each other... you can be guaranteed that he will be the only one... I am finding that the old saying is true... "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince." So... mathematically and now for my own sanity (the fair is fair/good for the goose/gander mentality) I am just increasing my odds of finding "him". And those "roses" that can be given on here are pretty telling... as are the "testimonials" women leave. If a man has a rose missing, or both... and they weren't sent to me... what does that say about me... am I second best? That doesn't sit well when he claims to be pursuing me. And, as to knowing the correct information about you and a girl remembering who a she is talking to... make sure the girl knows your real first name (not just some made-up username) and make yourself unforgettable... What I mean by that is surprise her, be honest, keep your word, and reveal yourself through conversation... not in a high-drama, 20 questions game... simply put, be yourself. My two pence... -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

blowing air into the vagina good or bad Posted: 12/22/2007 8:41:05 PM
It is bad if the cervix is open... pregnancy (for sure) or menstruation (?)... See the article below.... Question I read somewhere that it is very dangerous to blow air into the vagina. That it could kill a woman. Is this true? Answer I too remember being horrified when I first heard about this. Unfortunately, it has become more of an urban legend than a real concern. While it is indeed a theoretical danger, I have never been able to locate a confirmed case in the medical literature, except in cases of pregnancy. If you were to blow air very strongly into the vagina, with your lips pressed tightly against the vulva (thus preventing escape of the air), it is theoretically possible that you could create what is known as an air embolus. This is a form of embolism, where an air bubble blocks the passage of blood in an artery or vein. In severe cases, if blood flow is completely obstructed, the tissue in that area would die. If the embolus were to travel up to the heart or lungs, it would indeed be possible to die. You should know that when a woman is pregnant, and her cervix begins to dilate, she is more likely to suffer an embolism. In extremely rare cases, this has even been reported to occur from intercourse. In the days before abortion was legal, many women used to die each year from embolisms created by the insertion of instruments into the uterus. So, yes, you can definitely die from an air embolus, but the question is how likely one is to be created from blowing air into the vagina. I think it is pretty clear that normal, run-of-the-mill oral sex carries no risk. Even blowing lightly onto the vagina is perfectly fine. I would, however, avoid blowing strongly into the vagina, especially if your partner is pregnant. Otherwise, there is really nothing to worry about -- but I'm glad you asked. Best, Dr. Sandor Gardos http://www.mypleasure.com/education/qanda/questions/1047.asp (among other sources)

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 532 (view)

Men Shaved??? Posted: 12/22/2007 8:17:58 PM
Men... please don't totally shave... just trim it up! Beard trimmers are a great thing. They come with lots of great attachments for those "hard to reach" areas. Men are supposed to be a bit fuzzy. More fun to "pet'. (wink) My two pence, -Laurel Lei

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 154 (view)

When did asking your bra size become socially acceptable? Posted: 12/22/2007 7:52:57 PM
butterflylady520, I have found these questions are a WONDERFUL way to weed out the unacceptable men. Usually, I find, that this type of man isn't looking for a date, a relationship of any depth, or a possible long-term relationship. They are simply looking for a bit of cybersex, a quicky or one-night stand, or a bit of an ego boost. Take the rudeness for what it is and move on. My two pence, -Laurel Lei

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