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cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

half attracted half un-attracted ???? Posted: 7/25/2008 3:30:38 PM
Thanks to everyone who added insightful constructive thoughts! The rest of you well SonShine said it best this Forum is full of angry, mean, insecure and more than anything judgemental self-righteous DWEEBS - ignore them. It's mind over matter - they don't matter so don't mind them. I know for a fact there is no such thing as MR Perfect nor am I anywhere near perfect. On the other hand I value myself enough to know that I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect (just like every other women out there or most every woman) and that's hard to come by these days. Which is another reason I like this guy, so far seems to have what really matters and there's definitely something between us, looks aside. Everything is a compromise and I get the feeling in the long run this guy could make me happier then I could imagine. I think, as some of you have said, as it continues the physical attractiveness won't even be an issue. But I'm going to see how things go, I'm in no hurry for anything serious right now. As it is I won't be seeing him for at least a month since he's military. But he has email and can sure write a heck of a email :D

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

half attracted half un-attracted ???? Posted: 7/24/2008 10:13:20 PM
So I started chatting with a guy back in June, some emails and then texting. We went out on a date a couple weeks ago and had a pretty good time. We've been out twice since and had really great times. He's probably one of the sweetest most genuine guys I've ever met. He's got a great personality and we get along great. However as shallow as this sounds I'm not at all attracted to his face, but his build height/weight/physique I'm attracted to. I'm really not quite sure what to do, because looks don't last forever and personality is what sticks around. However I'm not sure about being half attracted half un-attracted to him if that makes sense. I'm kinda a firm believer that you have to have attraction for things to work out, and I'm am to his personality and half his looks. I hate it though because sometime when I look at him I start picking apart his facial features. But like I said he's so sweet and I figured out a long time ago sexy and sweet don't come in the same package. Constructive thoughts anyone? Please don't unduly criticize or turn this thread into something I want to delete...

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

To busy fishing to settle down? Posted: 6/23/2008 10:18:12 AM
First let me just say I would have never posted this if I had know this was going to turn into some rampage about casual sex. No I do not agree with causal sex, never had it and never will personally but none the less I didn't want this turned into a discussion about it. But if we're on the subject anyways when did it turn into that your assuming to be having sex with someone if you've gone on a couple of dates in a 2-3 week period??? As thats what someone stated earlier. mcbobly- I do feel the need to settle down, I just can't find someone who I can see it working with. I see no point in continuing to date someone after 2-3 weeks if I already know it's not going to work because of a difference of interests, morals or life goals. Now the fact of being bored goes like this... All the guys I seem to find who don't just want some chic to nail seem to think the most interesting thing to do on a sat night is sit around and watch tv...... packagedealx3- A lady at my church swears that she dated 300 guys before she met her husband. You have given me hope =D

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

To busy fishing to settle down? Posted: 6/20/2008 10:44:26 AM
then you break up and repeat!! hahah it's great.. but it sucks... lol lol exactly I couldn't have worded it better! As for the boy well he actually initiates pretty much all the texting really, so me thinks that's a good thing :D Maybe I should start initiating some.... First let me clarify to OBXchick and others who may think in the same terms. What I'm talking about has nothing to do with sex what so ever. None of these people make it past 2 or 3 weeks ,why the heck would I be having sex with them? If a guy isn't interested in me because I wouldn't put out then why would I be interested in him in the first place? However I haven't really had that problem. Either I weed out that kind well or my personality's so winning they stick around even if they aren't getting it lol Sour grapes and a negative attitude through bad experience will result in you spending your life alone, not taking a chance and looking for love online or otherwise. Pretty much everything is what you make of it in life. If you go around expecting the worse or that people will behave a certain way they probably will. Most people attract what they expect, and if you expect you're going to find man whores then that's who you're probably going to attract, it's that simple. :D

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 301 (view)

Your Pet or YourRelationship? Posted: 6/19/2008 9:46:36 PM
I could never give up any of my pets for a relationship. I have 1 dog and 3 horses, one of the horses I've had since I was 15 and he will be mine until the day he dies. Oddly enough all 3 of those horses have seen me through different hard time in different relationship and they were my only reason for waking up some mornings. I got my 3rd horse a month before my ex financee took my ring and took off, oddly enough he was also my reason for getting her, that break up was one of the hardest things of my life. Without that horse to put my time and effort into training, my losing him would have probably pushed me to the depression point of no return. Instead I have an incredible bond with that mare unlike quite any other I've had with a horse. At the end of everyday even though he was still gone I still had animals that loved me unconditionally, to me that says it all right there.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

To busy fishing to settle down? Posted: 6/19/2008 9:44:41 PM
Has anybody else felt like they're were to busy fishing ,so to speak, to settle down with one person for any amount of time? This has been going on for about the past year and a half that I meet someone, things seem really promising and then by the 2nd or 3rd week of talking to them I'm bored and ready to move on. I almost wonder if I've gotten addicted to the chase and then when I feel like I've caught them I'm done. That and no one ever seems to compare to that one certain person from the past. But then I've heard that's kinda how it can be till you meet another person that makes you totally forget about the one from the past. I guess my concern is at the moment is I found a guy I like. He and is gf (of only a month or so though) just broke up, but he's actually the friend of a guy who's interested in me( thats another story all together). So since last weekend I've been getting several texts a day from him, so I'm wondering if that may mean he likes me in return? The thing is, do I really like him? Or was he just interesting because of the chase of him being unavailable?

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 292 (view)

How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did? Posted: 6/3/2008 12:46:02 PM
I don't think it's a question of age, more a question of situation. If you have a solid full time job and are mooching then it's an issue. But as many people have brought up there lots of good situations for living with ones parents. Whether it's you're going to school, helping them out for whatever reason, etc. However I think no matter what age you are living at home and not matter the situation there still certain things you should take care of your self. I.E. your laundry, bed/bathroom cleaning etc, helping with meals & grocery shopping and the list goes on. I think I was 14 the last time my Mom did my laundry and I remember being 6 or 7 yrs old cleaning my own room lol Me personally I'm 23 and back living with my parents again. Notice I said back., I have been on my own. I go to school part time and work part time. I'm greatfull that my parents love having me at home, give me my personal space and that I have the opportunity to be able to go to school. My living here also allows me to take care of my horses that live on their property. I think it's sad that so many people look down on others for living with their family these days. Call me old fashioned but I appreciate my family (well ya know for the most part). I'm even looking forward Wednesday when my grandparents invited me over to visit!

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Guys, how long out of a serious relationship do you start looking seriously again? Posted: 6/2/2008 7:01:28 PM
So here's the deal 2 different guys I've met lately have recently been out of serious relationships. 1 guy had his engagement broken off 5-6 months ago and another ended a 1.5yr live in relationship about 3 months ago. Now here's my question , as guy at that point what are the chances of them looking for another relationship(not jumping into one tho)? They've both said similar things about if the right person comes along sort thing. I know everyone's different to in how they handle things, I just wanted some thoughts.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Health Problem: Is it really that much of a problem? Posted: 6/2/2008 6:37:33 PM
Well to put it simply, it's not a big deal, it's life. If they think it's a big deal, after you've explained it of course, I'm betting there's more then that 1 reason you're better off without them.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Should It Take This Long...?! Posted: 5/10/2008 1:09:02 PM
It really hasn't been that long if she was someone you really cared about. Sounds like maybe you didn't get a lot of closure with the situation either. Don't rush yourself into finding something else, it will come in time. Just do what you enjoy in life whether it's a hobby or spending time with friends. I'll say what I've heard many times over that I've just started to believe and that is, It does get better with time......

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/9/2008 8:24:02 PM
Man in my life lol. I seem to scare them off rather quickly these days. Not criticizing, but maybe there's a connection? Nah I've never had a complaint about my piercings or looks, its more a personality thing of scaring people off before I can be left. Check out my pics people all my piercings are visible, except the belly button and the nose stud is tiny rhinestone which is very hard to see, unless you look very closely.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/9/2008 11:31:26 AM
Limeshines- I agree 9 in one ear would be excessive. I have a total of 9 divided between my earS. 3 in the lobe part of each and 2 cartilage in one and a single in the other. ~~~~~ What I love about piercings, and unlike tattoos, I can take everything out and wear a single pair of diamond studs and nobody would ever even know about the other piercings since mine aren't largely gauged.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/8/2008 9:56:24 PM
Charon52 - that was absolutely hilarious!!!! Can't say I've ever set off any metal detectors including airport ones lol

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/8/2008 9:45:57 PM
ClassyfiedAlly- My parents limited me to 2 holes in each ear and absolutely nothing else till I was 18. Which I think might have back fired into why I have any many in my ears as I do, but now that I have them I don't want to take them out :) Oddly enough I would never consider getting any tattoos, much to permanent for my taste. Nor would I ever wear anything but a small crystal stud in my nose. Which even my ultra conservative mother said she thought looked good, which is a heck of a compliment lol

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/8/2008 9:35:16 PM
The fact that you're concerned that they might be excessive tells me you'll be just fine. I'm just curious not concerned as I have no intentions of taking any of them out. I really don't see mine as excessive, more in the realm of normal these days . So the only opinions that really matter would be yours and the man in your life, no? Agreed. So I suppose I'm good since its just me. Man in my life lol. I seem to scare them off rather quickly these days.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

What would you see as excessive piercings? Posted: 5/8/2008 8:56:12 PM
So I saw a profile, on another site actually, and the guy said he did not like excessive piercings. Now that made me curious, since this day in age piercings are so popular, I have a hard time gauging what would be considered excessive. I personally have 9 in my ears plus my belly button and nose done for a total of 11, which I've been told is pretty much in the realm of normal. So what would you consider as excessive piercings?

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Bars or clubs.... Posted: 4/25/2008 5:17:32 PM
How do you know if a guy at a bar or club is single or not? And what's the best way for a chic to approach a guy she thinks he looks interesting? I was discussing this with a chic friend and decided to actually get the guys point of view. We were both saying how it sucks to just wait around for a guy to show interest, if you already see someone who looks interesting. But on the other hand he may already be taken or cuz how safe is it to assume a guy single or not even tho he may be at a club or bar...

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Review me please! I think my profile stinks!! Posted: 4/11/2008 8:38:25 PM
Well here's an after edit review.... Pics- for the main one i think the 4th one is the best. Otherwise the others are are good, except the feather boa thing kinda has me wondering. About Me- I think it sounds good. You have some about you and what you're looking for. Nothing over the top and enough for someone to get some idea about you. First Date- Some of that was a little wacky, not sure if to wacky or just amusing wacky. Finding people on the internet is kinda hit and miss. And sometimes I think half the people on here aren't really looking. But sometimes you can email a million and never get someone interested, but then it's the same with people in person really. But if you were in my area I'd email you back :) Good luck...

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Looking 4 feedback Posted: 4/11/2008 8:20:33 PM
Made some corrections so I think it sounds a bit better but what I am most curious about now are my "grammatical" errors. Please someone tell me because I read over it and couldn't find anything except intentional use of slang language. My spelling is atrocious, but being southern I use word like "lotta" instead of saying "a lot of", so that's intentional. Someone please tell me what I'm missing it will bug me to no end if I can't figure it out!

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Looking 4 feedback Posted: 4/9/2008 11:04:12 PM
I'm just lacking thought on a creative headline, I had something like "Southern girl with a twist" up there before. Now I didn't want the guys over 6'2 to look like a requirement just a plus any ideas on rewording that?

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Does my profile have a stamp on it saying Do not Date? Posted: 4/9/2008 10:40:41 PM
The first pic kinda being a "I look drunk" thing turns off some. Try adding to your about me with more about your self and your interests and more about what you're looking for, theres not a lot there to really go on.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Please review my profile! Posted: 4/9/2008 10:34:25 PM
I think your profile looks pretty good. The only things I can say would be.... Pics- I would definitely knock out of the the cat pics, 2 looks a tad obsessive like maybe you have 40 cats running around your house hehe. As a fellow horsey person definitely get a pic of you riding or on the ground or something with a horse. It's a really good conversation starter because a lot of people love to talk about how they rode a pony when they were 10. About me- I'm a bit confused by "I'm not here for a casual relationship although a friendship would be fine." and you have seeking for "friends". That's very contradictory I think, kinda confuses one about what your really looking for. Interests- I would add a bit there, even stuff like starbucks since you mention it in your about me section. Good luck!

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Looking 4 feedback Posted: 4/9/2008 10:32:41 PM
I've been on and off of this site for awhile and just wanted to get a little feedback about my profile since I redid some of it. Sometimes I think I put to much stuff up there , I dunno. Anyways tell me what you think and how you think it comes across. Thanks!

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Cowboys & Cowgirls ....Wanta get together? Posted: 4/5/2008 9:44:19 PM
Here are a couple of upcoming trail rides. I'm actually looking for people to ride or meetup with on the April 12th ride since I don't know anyone who's going on that one. Saturday, April 12 The Friends of the Virginia Beach Police Mounted Patrol invite you to attend a BEACH RIDE Sunday, April 20 Graz’n Acres Therapeutic Riding Center’s “Spring” in the Saddle Benefit Trail Ride- Wakefield, VA Saturday, May 3 Trails of Hope Trail Ride ~ Gold Mine Trails at Wood, NC More info about those rides and more can be found at http://www.seat-va.org/rides.htm Laura

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

New Eharmony Post, Wait til you read this!!! Posted: 4/5/2008 9:35:19 PM
Yeah I got that back in the day, 3+yrs ago, when I tried to fill it out. I think what happens is if they can't fit you into their cookie cutter molds then they don't know what to do with you.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

can you figure this out? Posted: 3/23/2008 10:09:33 PM
Well this is coming from a "bit naive 22yr old" so I don't know whether you would consider this a sound opinion or not. Although I must say I don't believe age has much to do with knowing what someone wants in life or not. How else do you explain all the middle age crisis's that involve new spouses, houses and cars? Being 40 or 50 yrs old certainly didn't help them knowing what they wanted or they just changed somewhere along the way. But anyways back to what I was going to say, I've been in a similar position to where you are. Except deep into it for 3 yrs with an engagement ring on my hand because he and I kept trying. BAD idea, really really bad idea. I had heard all the advice. The stay and try to work things out ,to he's playing you get outta there. The truth of the situation was confusing, still is 1 yr later. But I think as times gone on well the truth wasn't what I would have liked. I do believe he loved me but none the less I was still being used. As one of my guys friends stated about my ex "part of him is thinking with his heart and the other part's thinking with his d!ck and there's no telling which one will win out" sums it up pretty well I think. I eventually came to the conclusion that it didn't matter if he loved me or not, you can't have a relationship with someone who's always running. They will want you when it's convenient for them, their lifestyle and their plans, not for yours. Personally I know I deserve better then that. And I think you do to, so don't let your self be strung along! Good luck with everything.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

I'm Dyin Here... Posted: 3/23/2008 9:07:44 PM
Well it sounds like to me you're making the right decisions for all that's happened. I feel for you. All though I found out a year after my engagement was broken off that he was into guys! Thank goodness it ended when it did but it doesn't stop it from still hurting sometimes. I can't keep doing the same things and expecting different results. I wish more people would realize that. Very true words even though they're much easier said then done. Good luck with everything!

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

selfish ppl Posted: 3/21/2008 10:38:45 PM
Ya know its people like you who create these situations though. How you ask? Well if you didn't put up with that crap for 2 month and had gone ahead and dumped her (told her your reason of course) as soon as she behaved this way she and every other chic or dude with issues such as this might get the point. If you behave a certain way and get dumped every time you act that way then eventually you would get the idea "well people really don't seem to like this behavior, maybe I shouldn't act like that". Instead people act like doormats and perpetuate the situations... Anyways that's just my opinion.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Age difference the other way around, girl older then the guy Posted: 3/18/2008 2:48:21 PM
Thanks for the opinions and thoughts everyone! It makes me feel alot better about it because so far I'd only really heard the negative things from my some of my friends even though he doesn't act the typical 18yr old. Oh and I did the math wrong earlier it's 4.5 yrs, opps. But oh well, I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Even though that has it's own set of problems with him being in the army and my working on my 2nd college degree. Time will tell tho. It's really quite refreshing talking to a younger guy though, he's not quite as jaded as some of the older ones. And still has the body from playing football lol

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Age difference the other way around, girl older then the guy Posted: 3/18/2008 9:17:03 AM
I haven't been doing much dating for or anything for awhile just because nobody's really grabbed my attention. I figure why waste the time if the spark isn't there. So anyways the other night when I went out with my cousin to a club I danced with this guy and starting talking and thought wow I haven't felt like this about someone in forever! He seems like a really sweet mature guy with a great personality who I'm genuinely interested in. Now here the kicker I figured since he was at the club her was over 21, well turns out they let in guys 18 and up to. And guess what? He's 18! So I'm a bit shocked, I'll be 23 in a month so the age difference is about 3.5 yrs. Maybe the problem is I've been dating guys in their 30's but then that could be why there hasn't been any spark with any of them to. So thoughts anyone ? Fellow chics, how has dating younger guys worked or not worked for you?

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

BF told me the other day he wants a baby!!!!!! Posted: 3/18/2008 8:49:21 AM
Ya know I heard almost the same thing from my ex fiance when we starting talking again after being broken up for 9 months. Not even 2 months after I heard that with him talking seriously about it he suddenly stopped talking to me with out explanation and was off again chasing every woman in site. Good thing I didn't expect anything different from him. The moral of the story is be careful and don't jump into anything. And just listen to your self! You see the caution lights flashing because you even said you got really scared, so that should tell you something right there. 2 months isn't very long to be dating someone and hear something like that.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

Do you still think about your ex? Posted: 3/15/2008 1:22:13 AM
I do sometimes but I think that happens when you spend any significant amount of time with someone and they become part of your life. Inevitably there will be memories that contain that person in them. For me personally I miss the life I had and the person I thought he was at one point. But that's just it, the person I thought he was, that's the person that the life was created with and that person doesn't exist anymore.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Deffinition of Average in america and Canada from statistics Posted: 1/15/2008 11:13:00 PM
Oh geez average is definitely now fat. I'm 5'3.5 small boned, athletic and a good to heavy weight for me is 115. If I even hit the 140's it wouldn't be pretty and nowhere near average. I think these things really need to take into account other factors before they decided what their version of average is.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

confused on where to go from here Posted: 1/15/2008 10:17:24 PM
hmm It's always the psycho chics that get guys that actually want relationships. It just always amazes me what some guys put up with and still try to make things work. Go figure...

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Kissing tall men Posted: 1/13/2008 8:11:21 PM
I'm 5'3 and love tall guys. My ex was 6'5. I always found putting my hand on or behind his neck and giving him the hint worked well. Normally just looking up into his eyes did the trick.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

To hold on or let go? (long) Posted: 1/12/2008 9:32:46 PM
Can u really walk away from any relationship with him and not be hurt? Well it's like I told him, that right there is my biggest problem anything I do, there's the risk of getting hurt. I just want to give it the best chance possible of working and not getting hurt. But I'm still confused about how he said he doesn't want either of us hurt. I would think he's in the same place getting hurt either way. Is he everything u want in a relationship, that includes someone who can pack up, move and never look back? Would he have contacted u if, u had not done so first? If he really loved u, then those feelings would eat at him unitl he did something about them, tru love doesnt go away when u just leave. Well that's the thing I made no contact with him for 8 months. He continued to occasionally text, call ,my-space etc. I just never responded to anything in those 8 months, from when he got out of the navy to when he went to his home state couldn't find a job and moved to where he had a job offer in TX. It was very odd that just 2 days after i decided that IF he did contact me again i would respond. He is probably looking to you to get some job skills, get a job, a car, a house, and then look like you are more admirable. Well I've got a college degree Equine Studies and am working on a second degree in the medical field. I work managing animals worth more then everything he practically owns. During the summer I also worked as a promo girl for Harley Davidson. The only things against are I'm am still paying off my car and I did move back to my parents when the engagement ended because I have my 3 horses at home, I can help my parent out with stuff and they like me being here. Added to that he's no longer in the navy and he never cared for the women there anyways. Go figure.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Advice on what a girl should do when a guy wants his space Posted: 1/12/2008 9:03:53 PM
Ask him what the "wants space" rules are, does this mean dating others is ok? or is it just time to cool down so to speak. Then just do your thing. Normally when I've heard that dating is a go and hey if you feel like it go for it. If you don't take your time and spend it with friends. Give it some time but don't sit around waiting for something that may never work. (I think I need to take my own advice on that one.)

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

To hold on or let go? (long) Posted: 1/12/2008 7:30:01 PM
I'm glad to hear all the different view points. Gives me stuff to think about and others personal experiences to go on. Being realistic there's no way I'm just going to pack up and move myself , 3 horses and a dog down there without anything to go on at all. I do desperately want a change in my life right now, but not 1500 miles away from family, friends and everything I have here, with out some sort of commitment. His best friend/roommate and I had a long talk and his suggestion was to give him an ultimatum and give him a couple days to decide which he wanted . Either i take a couple weeks come down see how things go and he make some sort of commitment or I, as he put it, don't walk away but run and don't look back. Even the his best friend/roommate says if anybody can get this guy to commit it'll be me, because he says there's never been anyone else that he's ever treated to talked to like me. Part of me says go ahead and run now. But I'm one of these people who hates to give up on something. Not to mention I've never found anything even close to what he and I had and I don't want to be left wondering. Life's to short and I just wish he would see that. But from reading everything I think I know I need to let go. I just don't want to. But I need to so if I can just figure out how. I'm scared to that just when I figure out how, he'll pop up again and try to start stuff again like this time and I don't think I'm strong enough to be able to ignore him.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

To hold on or let go? (long) Posted: 1/12/2008 1:52:11 AM
This is going be long, so if you don't want a short novel then don't bother lol. But I figure to get the best possible opinions i might as well put all the history so here it goes. sigh 1 week before I was 20 (3 yrs ago) I started talking to a guy, started dating and right away it was love for both of us. We talked about marriage a couple month into dating, young and stupid I know. We took 2mbreaks but he always came back because he didn't want to be without me and I couldn't find anyone else that compared, fast forward to when I was 21 and he was gone for a 6 month deployment. We thought if we could make it through that we could make it through anything, we got engaged last Christmas eve right after he got back. 2 months later things fell completely apart between him saying he couldn't handle the commitment and was moving to TX and at the time I wouldn't follow him. 8 months later, this past oct, after no communication because i knew i couldn't just "be friends", I still couldn't get him out of my mind or find anyone else, I would go out and even had a short relationship but still thought only of him. Anyways 2 days after I decided that if he tried to contact me i would respond he did, we talked for 2hrs on the phone. All the feelings were still there between us next thing i know he's flying me out to tx for thanksgiving. We had the best time ever, connected completely like there had never been time apart. After I left he talked about wishing I had gotten pregnant so I would come back to be with him and everything would be good( his words). I went back for down for new yrs because i needed a break from home. Thing's weren't quite as perfect as before but still good. At the beginning of the week he talked about "so when are you gonna move down here" and stuff like that, told me he still loved me and called me his. So before i left i sat him down for a talk and came back more confused then ever. I talked about maybe starting some kinda relationship again but he said he can't right now even tho he loves me that it just wouldn't work right now and that he's scared of it not working again. Yes he does work 12 hr night shifts and is getting ready to start college classes again. But we were already talking 3 times a night and neither of us were dating anyone else so it's not like anything would have even changed except in title. I don't know what to think of him being scared it won't work again, he said he doesn't want either one of us to get hurt, well like I told him at this point whether we try again or not I'm going to get hurt so I'd atleast like to try again to see if it could work. I'm at the point where I would really like to settle down and start a family in a few years. He's talking like he couldn't start anything untill 3-4 yr from now till he's done with school yet in oct he wanted me down there and a baby. Since I've gotten back things weren't like they were he won't talk to me like he was or tell me what he's thinking about stuff. It's killing me and I miss him so much. I don't know what to do or think. Did I step over the imaginary line asking about a relationship? What do I do? Hold on or let go? Try to wait things out? Try to talk about stuff again? Try to move on from what seems like my 1 true love? I dunno.

cihccihtog

Joined: 3/8/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

religous men,are you there? Posted: 8/17/2007 4:24:47 PM
most girls in their 20s, especially attractive ones could care less about faith. they think its a waste of time. Gotta love the religious and judgmental ones....

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