Mini skirts, low riding jeans, .........and cleavage chat & forums.

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greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 103 (view)

Mini skirts, low riding jeans, .........and cleavage Posted: 1/17/2007 5:52:01 PM
My gal should dress however she pleases. If she's a sexxy thang then I'm proud that she's not afraid to take pride in it. In regards to other men finding her attractive - so? They can't help it, cuz she's hot, so where's the harm? Women have fun looking sexy and having fun with it. Why should a boyfriend stand in the way? Enjoy the show, dummy.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 1249 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 1/6/2007 6:08:19 PM
Spiderwoman has a good point, and a agree with al her reasons. But at the same time I've done it a few times based purely on the fact that the person sounded cool online. Hey, the worst thing that can happen is you don't find the person physically attractive. So what? Pictures online aren't a very good indication of how the person will really look anyway, so you're taking that chance regardless. You still meet someone cool. Yeah, with a pic you feel safer (though it can be fake, old, ridiculously and meticiously photoshopped) but as a guy, I never really felt threatened by the security problem. So you make another friend, no biggy.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 233 (view)

Do Men REALLY Like to Cuddle? Posted: 12/20/2006 7:05:08 PM
Sorry, the movie, Silence of the Lambs, not the Dr. himself. It's from the wannabe transvestite.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 232 (view)

Do Men REALLY Like to Cuddle? Posted: 12/20/2006 7:03:41 PM
I'm a huge fan of cuddling. By the way, "It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again" is a quote from Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

What Do You Guys Consider A Good Girlfriend? Posted: 11/23/2006 5:23:18 PM
^^^^^^Good question I think A GREAT girlfriend is: 1. Affectionate 2. Caring 3. Funny 4. Playful 5. Thoughtful But I took the OP's question to mean that we should highlight the most important things, not everything necessary to be a good grilfriend - I was assuming teh perosn already was my girlfriend, which means they'd be irresistably attractive, at least to me. But those other things we don't mention are ignored only because they aren't as important as long as they're there. I mean, who wants a girlfriend that isn't loyal, or who's got an IQ below 60 (ok, maybe SOME guys, by the looks of it)? I personally thing those things I mention are the most important, in that they'd be the things that I can't help but think are the great things of having a girlfriend in the first place. Who cares if a girl can cook?? I also think that there's absolutely no difference, for myself, between what makes a good girlfriend and what makes a great wife. And no, I did not forget to put in "hot passionate sex" - but I didn't want to list more than 5 items.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 402 (view)

Men don't like TALL women Posted: 11/23/2006 4:19:15 PM
I'm not at all attracted to tall women. Something to do with proportion and attraction, I guess. It has nothing to do with intimitadtion. Women don't intimidate me in general. It might be the way taller women look (this is in my opinion, of course, which is very subjective) less feminine to me. In fact I've always felt that models (who are typically at least 5'7) look rather masculine because of their long limbs and towering looks. To be honest, height is a turnoff. The other thing is, of course, I'm not tall, which makes taller women look and feel even taller than for other guys. But that's just ME. Other guys I know find tall women VERY attractive. They rave about their legs and their grace. In general guys love that. I don't.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

What Do You Guys Consider A Good Girlfriend? Posted: 11/23/2006 1:40:06 PM
A good girlfriend - hmm I think A GREAT girlfriend is: 1. Affectionate 2. Caring 3. Funny 4. Playful 5. Thoughtful

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

The MSN trap Posted: 11/21/2006 9:56:35 AM
I think there's too much second guessing in general with msn. So much of communication is physical. MSN just lacks that, and we try to make it up with other signs but they lack depth and subtlety. But sometimes I find it's like anything else for relationships. The meduim has little to do with it sometimes. If the people are into each other, they'll find a way to make the most mundane "lols" and "=)s" fascinating. If msn doesn't work well, it might be that you're not suited for it, but it could also be that you're not interested in those people or that they're just not interested in you.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

why do men dump women who are too nice to them?? Posted: 11/18/2006 2:11:57 AM
It has nothing to do with the women being nice. They would have dumped them regardless. Some men like to dump.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 219 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/18/2006 2:10:21 AM
I've never talked to any women that are interested in bank accounts or money. I'm convinced that's just a myth which poor men that can't find women make up in order to give themselves an excuse while giving women a jab at teh same time. Of course, I typically approach women under 30, so maybe that has something to do with it. But from my experience, women don't care how much money you've got. They do seem to be influenced by what their freinds would think of you though.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 94 (view)

Do not Promote women to Girlfriend Status right away Posted: 11/18/2006 2:06:17 AM
??? I promote any woman I'm interested in to Angel status -- forthwith! Holding out is for the weak. When you have a killer hand everytime, you don't need to be poker-faced and play games. Women like men with hearts on their sleeves.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 290 (view)

If you're single and not dating, what's your reason? Posted: 11/18/2006 2:03:05 AM
There is no reason. The women I try to get to know don't seem to respond to me. The women that are more proactive to get to know me, so far, I haven't been attracted to, though we might become friends. There's nothing to be done but to keep trying.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 215 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/17/2006 5:11:29 PM
I think it's pretty obvious. The ones on teh one side aren't interested in those on the other. And the ones we are interested are sought after by many. Classic supply demand problem, though we all hate to admit it can be that simple. I think a big part of it really is.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 213 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/16/2006 9:21:22 PM
How many Nice guys are ready for a Committed relationship at or under 31? I know quite a few - and they all have incredible problems meeting women. But they also tend to have smaller circles of friends, hence the problems meeting women. I was ready for a deeply commited relationship since I was probably 12, seriously. Just no takers. So hell, we're definately out there.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 204 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/15/2006 4:33:23 PM
The beauty is, once you've lost it, there's no feeling of expectation, and therefore no fresh dissapointments. Quite enlightening.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 202 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/15/2006 11:44:27 AM
I disagree that women on here are desperate or slutty. And I also disagree that this is true of bars. I don't think there really are that many desperate slutty women out there. The other thing is, if a women was slutty and desperate, they can just go out and find someone at the drop of a hat - no need to strain themselves typing. Going out is more fun anyway. If anything, lots of people on these sites (more of the women, less of the men) are neither desperate nor slutty - just curious and having fun. Some of them are very picky and are highly in demand - but that doesn't make them slutty. Same goes for women in bars. I've seen women play with the fact that half the men in the bar are attracted to them, and they have fun with it. That doesn't make them slutty. And it wouldn't be fair to just assume they are. How many slutty people do you really know?

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 199 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/14/2006 7:46:13 PM
who the fox: I never said any of those things you said I qualify to say who has a chance of dating. I'm saying, quite reasonably, that lots of people don't (or at least have odds way more terrible than others). I definately am saying that there are way too many people in worse situations that are able to see reasons to not bow out. When people in forums like this stand in better positions and say that they feel they should quit, and are rallying for support not to quit, I lend that support. Why? Because it puts a damper on all of us who have it worse to see people that have it way better complain. It brings us all down. That's why hope should be restored to those that ask us what they should do. I don't think it'd be better to promote hopelessness.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 190 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/9/2006 1:23:12 PM
I don't think the problem is internet dating, to be honest. But what you said is undeniably true. The people that have a very difficult time on here would definately do better in the real world - (that is, if they actually know how to meet people in the real world) But I don't think internet datnig is the problem. You don't ahve to be a barbie or a ken, you just need to be attractive enough. I don't think it really takes that much. Of course, someof us don't have even that much. But that's just a hard fact about dating, period. I wouldn't blame internet dating, or anyone or anything. Some of us have got it, some of us don't. No one likes to admit that some of us are simply not built to attract other people into relationships (whether because of one's personality, age, looks, sexual disposition, whatever). There's not guarantee that everyone gets relationship bliss. I think we need to accept the possibility that for some of us, it simply isn't very likely to ever happen. This still doesn't mean you should give up. But for those that don't even have a real shot at all, to hear people complain about their prospects is very laughable. To those of us that have almost no chance, it seems you people take it for granted. It's not a right, or a truth that you can find a great relationship. You're lucky if you're eligible at all. People that talk of games, and why people don't stay, and what mind games go on - to some of us, all of that is almost eviable. Games? What games? At least some people are participating. It's like poor people complaining about all the taxes they pay - what do you think the homeless think? That's my point. You don't have it that bad.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 186 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/9/2006 11:42:51 AM
who_the_fox: I wan't referring to all people who responded to the OP's question, only the ones that hit any one of 1-5, or, I'll go as far to say, even get messages at all. Do you get messages? - have you been "out" with a guy, any guy? Some of these guys have never touched the oppoosite sex. And, no, they're not freaks, just unfortunate. I'm talking about decent guys that get no replies. They have no contact with women at all. If you've gone out, you're already in a different plane of existence, because seriously, some of these guys have never gone out with women. They don't get to be substitute gigalos. They don't get replies. Using this as a baseline, I think most people responding on here (most, of course never all) are doing quite well in comparison. IF you guys are losing hope, imagine if you were one of these guys that never get any contact whatsoever. Yet they continue, and that's why you should too.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 182 (view)

i'm starting to lose hope... Posted: 11/9/2006 10:28:21 AM
I'm afraid my sympathies, though they extend to most of you here, don't even come close to the measure of frustration and sadness some of the guys on here experience. 1. you're going on dates 2. aometimes, you're having fun on dates 3. you're all sexually active 4. your complaint is that guys don't stick around, or you find out it's not the type of guy you want to be with 5. you will continue to meet guys, because, let's face it, you're attractive to lots of guys. Yes some of them just wnat sex, some want more, and some just don't know Now compare your situation witht the thousands of guys out there that can't even get a response, don't know what a date looks like, and probably never will. Yes these guys do exist and they're on here. You're complaining about guys that are just looking for sex. There are guys on this site that are just trying to learn what it's like to hold hands or have a any sort of intimate moment before a girl decides she's not interested. These guys are almost noone's type. They've given up on sex as too remote a possibility. Now you say you're losing hope, when THESE guys don't, and keep writing messages day after day on here? I don't think you've approached the measure of hopelessness required to be afraid. Just keep at it, and try to have fun while you're there. Compared to some of the guys on this site, you're living like a jaded movie star. You don't know how laugable it is for some guys to hear people complain about all the empty sex and dead end relationships. Just remember, lots of decent guys can't even get a girls to message back, and likley never will. In a way, you're already blessed.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 668 (view)

Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women? Posted: 11/6/2006 10:51:56 AM
^^^ I hear alot of similar responses to this, and in a way I can see where these people are comming from. These aspects aren't as true (or simply don't apply at all!) to asian women born and raised here, who have more or less adopted western culture into their lives. I suppose I fit into this latter group with respect to asian guys, and I can say that I don't find the features listed above particularly compelling, in terms of a person I want to date. I can't even say they are things I keep an eye out for, though I recognize it when I see it. What do other western-asian guys think?

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 168 (view)

To flsoldier Posted: 10/30/2006 10:09:05 PM
I'm not caucasian, but I find some East Indian Women very seductive. And some of the women I've encounterd have a very unique and natural playfullness about them. But what do I know? This is comming from the point fo view of a non-caucasian.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 59 (view)

Am I Wrong For Only Messaging/Pursuing Women I Find Attractive? Posted: 10/29/2006 7:45:34 PM
I totally agree with yahh roo giddy - actually, I'd like to take the chance to say that most of what I read from him is pretty solid. OP, I do think there isn't even really a question in this thread. You've stated your hardship (which lots of readers have misconstrued, but so be it) but yahh roo giddy up is also right. What do you want from it? There's no advice to give other than the choice you have to hold the course, or accept alternatives that you might not be satisfied with. Most people here think that if you truly sure that you won't be happy with the alternative, then it's your choice. Sorry dude, there's no answer, just a confirmation that yeah, you're in a tough spot. But aren't we all? ....and Op does make a good point about Yahh roo... what the heck IS he doing here? lmao

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

Am I Wrong For Only Messaging/Pursuing Women I Find Attractive? Posted: 10/29/2006 6:42:17 PM
^^^ It really is quite simple, but dissapointing in it's simplicity. I woulnd't even call it a cycle. It's not his fault, or anyone else's. It's not like he's causing it to happen. It's sorta out of his hands.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 208 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 10/29/2006 4:59:49 PM
-I hate to beat a dead horse, but like I said, beauty being inteh eye of the beholder, I think has nothing to do with this. The complaint here, as it usually is, is that he doesn't think he has as good a chance with the women he's attractied to. If that is indeed true or false has nothing to do with the subjectivity of beauty. It has to do with demand. If, to him, a certain group of women appeared attractive to him, and no other guys in his region saw them as attractive at all, then he WOULD DEFINATELY have a better chance at dating them. It's unrealistic to ignore what options the women have, and if they are under demand (regardless of what the reasons for that demand are) then it's almost irrational to think they'd be just as available for dating you as other women that are not being asked out by a pile of guys. It doesn't matter if beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If he finds girl x attractive, but girl x is being pursued by every guy, you have to acknowledge he's going to have a harder time. A girl may not be "out of your league" whatever that means. But she can sure be wanted by waaay more guys than other girls. In that case the girl is not out of your league - you've just got lots of competition, and that's not an insignificant hurdle.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 200 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 10/29/2006 12:42:29 PM
"hot girls can do whatever they want" Women that are desired by lots of people have lots of actual power - they cna use their position to demand things, have things go their way etc, so yeah, in a sense this is true. This is true of anyone that has something that lots of people want or want to be affiliated to. So, I ask all the "hot firls" out there, do does it feel like the top of the world to be a hot girl? They're definately very powerful, in a particular kind of way.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 196 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 10/29/2006 11:45:25 AM
I've talked to some guys that are seriously picky about how a girl DRESSES - which I think is beyond just resting everything on "looks." Looks, to these guys, is already not enough. It's not just about the right body parts, the right face and so forth but the right sense of style, as reflected in the clothes they wear. I've literally talked to guys that complain about girls with no class or taste adn how that would reflect poorly on them if they were to date them. But I've also hear the inverse of this argument, comming from women actually, who think that this isn't worse - because at least you can choose th clothes you wear, whereas you are born with your physical "look"..... and that there's some merit to thinking of a person in one way or another based on how they dress. These same people reserve the right to launch the "slutty outfit = slutty person" argument. I don't agree with neither of these views, but I've noticed that people that say you shouldn't be hung up on looks will often still support one of the above positions.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 194 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 10/29/2006 11:15:55 AM
^^^^ I think there is lots of truth to what markeeoo is saying, though there are a few parts I'm sure people contrue in a way that's very controversial. But as I read what he says, nothing he has propositioned is really all that false. And I will be happy to put up a defense on lots of these points, with my own variations on a few. There is one thing that many people tend to bring up in discussions like this that adds nothing at all, in my opinion to the REAL questions behind the matter. And is questions like "what is your definition of beautiful" or "beauty is subjective." In about 80% of the topics on this site, there is no need to address this issue at all, because what people usually mean is not what is beautiful, but what is under higher demand. If you replace the question "can an average looking guy get a pretty girl" with the statement "can a guy who is not sough after as much by girls get a girl that is sought after by porportionately more people" nothing is really lost in answering the latter question instead of the first. I think the same goes for markeeoo's post above, and probably every post here. Yet in a few posts you'll see someone calling this guy shallow or superficial for not realizing that beauty is subjective. People are HUNG UO on the subjectivity of beauty. In most posts, its actually a cop-out retort that adds nothing to what we already know. I think that' s a lost cause - yes beauty is subjective... but what's at work here that's causing all the dissapointment, why some people are coveted by many while others can't get a response to save thier lives, is not BEAUTY. It's demand for the same group of people. You can call them ugly or stupid or plastic, but what remains the same is that lots of people desire them. So stop calling them beautiful or pretty or whatever if you like. It doesn't cahnge the fact that some people have waaaay more options in terms of who to choose from than others. It's not about beauty. It's about demand. And demand changes your life. The picture of LA that markeeoo talks about sounds like this concept is taken to the extreme there. People tend to avoid the more painful questions around that by dismissing it as a tendancy for people to be shallow or judging a book by its cover. Even if the world was reduced to a non-visual existence, this would not go away, and the truth that beauty is in the eye of the beholder doesn't explain or solve a thing. Some people will still be more popular than others for one reason or another, and others will be depressed about it because they feel hopeless to change it. THAT's the problem... and there's not real solution, which is what makes some of these whiner threads so frustrating to read,yet compelling becasue it reveals something true about dating. I think the phenomenon is deeper and more disturbing than just "looks."

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/28/2006 9:00:21 PM
MsMicki: "I've got 8 inches of perfection with your name on it"....... LMAO Rule Number One: No laughing. Unless it's very funny. Rule Number Two: Whether something is very funny rather than just merely funny will be decided on clear majority of at least 5 out of 6 posters on this thread. Rule number Three: The OP cannot vote with respect to Rule Number Two.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/28/2006 8:56:43 PM
It's not my intention to encourage gossip. I've actually encouraged people not to theorize about why some messages worked and why others didn't. Also, I think in a forum people are going to post whatever they wish - I shouldn't have to warn people on here of concerns that they would already be aware of, or that are actually my own concerns - besides everyone here is an adult and will post whatever they want and have enough maturity, I would think, to not do things they don't want to do. My intention is not to tempt people into gossip or into smearing others - I'm hoping this is clear from the initial post and from the sprit of the messages that flowed from it. I don't think people here are so immature that I need to list a myriad of rules for a completely public posting. But if all of you agree that I should, then maybe I should draft up some rules and regulations?

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/28/2006 8:18:22 PM
^^^^ I agree that some people aren't comfortable with it, so they shouldn't do it. But I don't see any problem with it if the person posting it doesn't. They can always ask the sender, as well. I've also encouraged that we actually not discuss them. I don't see it as an invasion if the sender and the receiver are both fine with it. And besides, lots of people are just now posting the jist of what was said, which is cool too. If an ex of mine asked if she could post an initial message sent to her, I'd be cool with it. lol - just remove the name

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 139 (view)

Heinous or no? Posted: 10/28/2006 8:11:22 PM
wakedan: "Just goes to show ya.....no matter how nice, polite, thoughtful a guy is on a date, he is still imagining having sex with you lol. " ..ummm isn't that EVERY guy? Doesn't every guy do this regardless? I mean, that' s just normal lol. Now acting on it, that's a totally different story. But I think all women already know (or should know!) that guys are ALWAYS imagining having sex with girls they're talking - that's just normal, default guy-existence. (Yes, ladies, have pity on us primal creatures. You can't imagine how differently our brains are wired in comparison to your own, it's a miracle that we can learn to read... and that's probably only because puberty hadn't hit yet.) When a guy gets in a serious accident, wakes up in a hospital - and there are people in white scrambling to save his life, he will likely still notice... how cute the nurse in the corner of the room is. And if he had a quarter of a brain left, I'm sure it'd be working at full capacity trying to imagine what she looks like naked. Welcome to the horrible horrible minds of MEN. lol Okay, maybe we're not all THAT bad. But seriously, I think most of it is just the way we're wired.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/28/2006 7:57:48 PM
Thanx, Moondancer! Yeah it does suck that POF deletes after 30 days. But I suppose if people really wanted to, they could just save things. It's a neat little record of my monthly "hitlist" though.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

An explanation for why men bolt after 4 dates Posted: 10/28/2006 7:22:52 PM
I think what the OP has stated has some merit in that it correctly describes SOME guys. But I think it also describes lots of women too. The only difference is that women won't even date a guy that doesn't hit teh right status points - and it seems the test is whether or not, similar to the OP's suggested test for some guys, their girlfriends, family etc would see them as a good match. I think lots of guys do this. But I also think alot more girls do this too, but simply skip the dating stage altogether - ie, if he's not boyfirend material, he's simply not good enough to date, period. This is just a hunch, though. Can the women verify or correct this assumption (I'm saying it's a trend among SOME women, not all).

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

age limit to the label boyfriend Posted: 10/28/2006 5:17:02 PM
Partner.... hmm - partner in crime? It doesn't have teh endearing ring of girlfriend. What ever happened to darling? "dah-ling" Or my sweetheart? I like that one.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 86 (view)

Why do men copy/paste Posted: 10/28/2006 4:55:34 PM
Eon001 - that's a very good example. Champagne, I luv it! No, not a lot of women seem to understand because they don't really grasp what a sea of women there are out there - and they really don't realize is how many genuine thought- out messages it takes to be sent before some guys get responses. They seem to believe that if you send out a few geniune messages you'll get a response soon enough. The fact is lots of guys don't - and that's why they use teh copy and paste as an electronic ice breaker. Because noone wants to spend 100k at teh club before they get to dance with a girl, and noone wants to spend a decade on plentyoffish before they get a date. And yes, some guys get more responses - sometimes no matter what they say. IT doesn't mean it applies to all of us. --again, I don't cut and paste, but I don't get results either, so how genuine you letter is doesn't always result in a postive result. The women don't seem to grasp how much luck really is involved in being a guy. SOmetimes you can do everything you can and the fact is you simply aren't the type that gets responses

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Message # 5 that aint really you... Posted: 10/28/2006 3:28:26 PM
aaaaaaah ok. nevermind

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Message # 5 that aint really you... Posted: 10/28/2006 3:26:33 PM
^^^^^ Am I missing something here? - what's this comment all about? Please explain.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 122 (view)

Heinous or no? Posted: 10/28/2006 1:21:15 PM
^^^ that seems like a rational explaination.... But I still think he's just plain weird.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/28/2006 1:15:00 PM
A SPECIAL THANX TO AnnMF and to crazyhorse53, for posting actual responses!!!!!! You guys are awesome! Come on folks keep 'em comming. We don't judge the messages in this thread, so there's nothing to be shy about. I'm glad you like the thread, honestnhopeful. Lots of us often wonder what would happen "if" our profiles sounded like this or looked like that. It seems that alot of that can be a waste of time, though everyone that wants to get some results out of this thing should put SOME time into it, but thinking in the hypothetical world of "what ifs" isn't going to help and just becomes a way of revelling in pangs of lack of success. -seems to be a trend among some people on here and I sympathize.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/27/2006 11:23:40 PM
haha - Thanks for the info - and it's interesting to see what you gals say. And I'm notorious for bashing guys (we're tough we can take a good beating) and if you've ever seen any toher of my posts you'd be quite surprised they haven't exiled me from the gender altogether. Still, I'm hoping for some actual posts (no one has braved it yet!!).

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Ladies: Messages that Illicited Responses Posted: 10/27/2006 1:38:47 PM
There is alot of pissing and moaning from guys on this site about how their messages get ignored. Personally, I think it's a mysterious combination of pictures, how your profiles strike a person adn their general mood of the day, not to mention some luck. Let's face it, some guys will tend to get responses and some won't and it's no where near a science, or even rationality. It's not a puzzle to be solved, nor should it or can it be, despite what some guys seem to think. To think you can come up with a message that "works" as if this is the sort of thing you can find a formula to, is truly arrogant. Who says love should be rational anyway? Anyhow, I think it would be enlightening if the women of this site will post some of the messages they've recieved from guys that got them to respond (not a pity responses please, only post the FIRST one from people with whom you were eventually lead to date, or at least have significant banter with - and just the very FIRST message, even if it's just a happy face). And folks, please don't theorize why a message worked or what trends seem to surface. Let's just look at then and take it as it is. And ladies, please don't select messages that you think guys should see - let's just post whatever actually worked, whether they be breif, funny, or whatever. There will be no pics, no names, and please no hints as to whose profile it is. -This should be fascinating as long as the theorizing is kept at a minimal (and people participate lol)

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 94 (view)

Girls, here are some tips written by a guy (me) to show you how to spot phonies/scumbags Posted: 10/25/2006 10:59:48 PM
As a guy, I don't think the items posted indicate much. Sure, maybe if they're all screaming out at once you might be cautious, but even then, I wouldn't say the guys' a scumbag - not even a good chance. These strike me as stereotypes of what peopel like to think scumbags are like. I've met lots of scumbags that don't fit any of these criteria, and ones that fit them perfectly. What's wrong with showing off one's body? (both genders!) - sure it attracts sexual interest, but let's remember the mere inticing of one another with sex doesn't mean you're a scumbag. Just because you like to party, I don't think that makes you a scumbag - so most of the guys in clubs and bars downtown on a saturday night having fun are scum? - why? Pictures with women makes you scum? It shows you are comfortable with being around them, and they're your friends. That doesn't mean they'll date you. And grammar? Why? Sum peeps like 2 talk wit a little style and play a bit with the text - it doesn't make u a ScUmBAG. I play with text all the time - especially on txt messing. It could mean the person's not as educated - but that doesn mean they're scum, does it? The whole list is too narrow in its approach. If scumbags were that easy to detect, then women wouldn't get involved with them. People aren't that naive. To be an effective scumbag, you can't be THAT easy to catch. And I agree with kh rock, above - older guys are definately better at it, even if they don't tend more to be scum (which they might).

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 111 (view)

Heinous or no? Posted: 10/25/2006 6:58:54 PM
eeeeeeeeew -okay, since I always try to come up with SOME defence for every underdog, let's see what sort of defence I can make up. .... well, it's not THAT sick in the sense that he's not even proposing that you do anything at all. He just wanted you to watch HIM do something. Think of it this way. Some people would think it's perfectly acceptable behaviour after a great night like that if he kissed you, you guys went for a drive and you started making out. and did stuff - physical stuff. Lots of normal dates go this way, and you wouldn't really call them sick. This guy, whose approach is undoubtedly weird and off-key, isn't even going for second base (though it seems he's not even interested in the same game, to continue with teh baseball analogy...). It's almost.... childish. Like what a little kid would say to another little kid - "wanna see mine?" So I dunno how appalling it is, compared to what other consenting adults end up doing after a great night out. IT's certainly not unsafe sex, and there's no touching - so why is it so appalling? It's not like he even made a move to make out with you and have YOU do stuff to him, which noone here would say is appalling. Well this is less than that, by far. I think it's just weird. Okay, I did my best.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Am I Wrong For Only Messaging/Pursuing Women I Find Attractive? Posted: 10/25/2006 6:15:55 PM
I think I understand your dillemma, and I think it's a fairly significant problem with quite a few guys. It gets mistakenly dismissed as either you being too picky, or unrealistic or simply "not giving the girls that are interested in you a chance," when it doesn't seem to you that any of these points address the problem. ANTM is an awesome show. But I don't think a majority of the models on there are attractive at all either. I think I'm actually turned off by how long and lanky their bodies are (no offence to those with long lanky bodies). I prefer the shorter gals, myself.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 105 (view)

Why do men sit and stare? Posted: 10/25/2006 9:31:45 AM
The only reason why I'd refrain from appraoching a woman is if I think she'd be annoyed with having some stranger she's not attracted to try to sell himself off as a good aidea for a coffe date. If I ever got good vibes back (eg eye contact or a genuine smile) I'd definately approach. But that never happens!

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Am I Wrong For Only Messaging/Pursuing Women I Find Attractive? Posted: 10/25/2006 9:26:22 AM
^^^ That's exactly the more difficult point. It's one thing to say be patient and wait. But it's another if this means, because fo the person's choices, he ends up waiting for 6 years for one date. The question should be viewed as coupled with the problem that the person isn't successful, and adding more time and patience doesn't seem to be wroking either. I dunno how long the OP has actually trued for, but I think this is part of the spirit of the question or problem.

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 102 (view)

Why do men sit and stare? Posted: 10/24/2006 11:39:46 PM
As much as I usually write over 100 words per response - I simply Agree ^^^^^^

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Am I Wrong For Only Messaging/Pursuing Women I Find Attractive? Posted: 10/24/2006 11:38:16 PM
In a sense, I agree with Very green eyes. But some may argue that it's a flaw that's a fact, and that it's really up to your own strength of character or will to change to be able to look for "inner beauty" in an effort to re-condition that way you find things attractive. That is, sure, you can't help but be attracted to what you are attracted to NOW, but maybe you can change that part of you by making an effort to date people you know possess an inner grace and exhibit personal charm - even though you rmind can't help but find them unattractive as a date. It's a very attractive thing that people say, and I wish it would actually work. This does happen everyday in normal relationships sometimes. Friends suddenly become lovers and see each other in a different light. But can you really attempt to generate that kind of transformation just by dating them in hopes of making it happen?

greyymatter

Joined: 1/30/2005

Msg: 100 (view)

Why do men sit and stare? Posted: 10/24/2006 10:29:53 PM
I don't catch women staring as often. And they don't do it with such an obsession - though I've seen them do it. Also, when a woman does it, usually the guy is fairly impressive When a guy does it... well haha. It doesn't take much

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