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 Author Thread: Relationships and Antidepresants...
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Relationships and Antidepresants...
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:33:43 PM

Antidepressants do NOT signify chronic depression


Actually, there is no cure for mental illness yet. So, even though a situational depression can be 'cured', a diagnosable depression is not curable. The illness that is diagnosable is based upon certain criteia that must be met including timelines of illness. It can be managed and one can live a full and happy life.

OP
There have been several good articles in the papers the past few months on depression. One of the points of view was that depression gets a bad rap because we have had depressed people throughout history and they have contributed many things such as paintings, writings, philosophies, etcetera. I think that we over medicate in this society to make everyone 'perfect'. This translates into expectations of perfection in everyone whom we meet. So, if someone is a little different than the 'friends' on TV, we run away before giving them a chance to see who they really are.

I wouldn't always run away but, it would depend on what I am willing to accept and how I felt about the person.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
OK I have a question some helpful advise please
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:47:15 PM
I know this is ask a lady but, I have to speak.

Have you tried moving to the next stage, like asking for a phone number, asking if they want to meet for coffee? I am thinking maybe you are moving too slow and they may be losing interest. Just a thought.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
HELP!! I'm stuck in a cycle....
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:40:28 PM
Give it time. I know, you have but you obviously need more. See other guys and sincerely try to meet someone you like who will treat you right. What is the point of liking someone who will not return the affection? All that you are doing is torturing yourself.

Trust me, at this time in your life everything seems big and all consuming but, that will pass with time. When it does, you will need to have done some work on you and your ability to have healthy relationships or you will be really stuck. Don't settle for less than what you need and you need to have your affections returned.

If you do not move on, you may remain immature for a long time. Whatever it takes, move away, go on a dating site, oh you are on one. Aren't there any guys to talk to? Give some of them a chance to show you the difference of being treated right from being ignored. Btw, it's the oldest trick in the book to ignore someone who won't leave you alone so that they will want you more. Not saying that is what he is doing but, it's just old.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
2007 Stanley Cup Final
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:16:41 PM

do you not remember the alfredsson hit on tucker?


Tucker probably doesn't even remember the hit because he is a hockey player! They get hit all the time, it's like...their job, get over it!

The only thing 'mutinous' is the fact that the american teams rely on canadian players to compete in the league and yet take the cup home every year on the backs of these players! It is the same thing to me as Montreal buying so many cups when they were the 'american' version of the modern hockey conglomerates.

I don't 'have to hate' anyone. I don't hate the ducks. I also don't have a sens flag. I am a Leaf fan. Guess you don't know what that means.

All I was saying was that it is the canadian players who are winning the cups and it is a shame that we can't have a canadian team win it once in a while. The fact of the matter is that it is a money game the same as any sport and if the money is not here, the players will go where it is.

BTW, what does everyone think of a world hockey league that would include the NHL?
I mean a real one that was international along the lines of soccer. There could be different leagues within the league and a finals that encompassed the entire globe. I think that there are good hockey players all over the world and the others just don't get a chance to play the way that we have.

this would do away with your so-called manufactured canadian pride. Unless of course, we again came out on top of the rest of the world as the best hockey players.

Hey, didn't I see you on beer commercial? You were being loaded onto a plane weren't you? LOL
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Road trip across Canada. Any advice?
Posted: 6/10/2007 8:55:21 PM
GREAT IDEA!

Don't worry bout the prairie drone, you'll get through it. It's worth it to see the country! Check out Banff on the way as well as Canmore. The mountain trout in a little restaurant on the highway in Canmore is the second best fish I have ever eaten. The best was Artic Char in Inuvik.

Northern Ontario is probably the longest single part of the drive but, the people there are great! maybe check out the POF events and see if there are any happening that you can catch. The last time I was through there people wanted to take us home and feed us and everything.

Watch out for the tunnel in Quebec if you are going to the maritimes! I don't know if they have changed it at all, it's been a long time since I have been through there but, it used to be if you missed the tunnel, you were in for a twelve hour detour through northern quebec before arriving in quebec city. Unless of course you are looking for a detour, this could be a welcome distraction. we did it at night and there was nothing to see.

Parlee beach in Shediac NB is a must see! get ready for lobster (in season) and sandy beaches. Also PEI and Cavendish beach are great side trips. Martello tower in Saint John NB and the other fort there are great sites to see. To get off of the beaten track in NB south, go on the old highway from Saint John to Fredericton, it goes past Gagetown and intersects at Oromocto. If you go on a sunny day, there is a ferry just before Westfield that crosses the river to a great little beach (forget the name) on the Kingston Peninsula. Also around Fredericton there is a highway that goes from there to Sussex with lots of great little stops along the way. Take the number 2 across to the number ten back down to Sussex. In total it's just a day trip but, well worth it for the scenery and the people. If you there for the fal, you'll be in for a real treat on this road as it is one of the most majestic sites in the world! The reason it is called the picture province. I believe that many of the pictures that you see of the province are taken there.

There is a beach in Saint John that is def worth going to. It is off of Red Head Rd I believe Mispec. Close to town if driving and the water is awesome. It will freeze your b***s off! If you can swim in that water, you can swim anywhere.

If you're going that far, I sure hope your going to the rock (Nfld). I haven't been yet but, I hear it is worth the trip. Fishing, hunting and well, you know. Oh speaking of that, I think Halifax has the most bars per capita in the country, if your into that. LOL

Anyway, have fun. I am thinking about making a trip myself in the near future. It's been quite a few years and I am ready for a new one.

Can you give us a report afterwards on all of your excursions? How about a blog? Would really like to hear about new places to visit for my next trip.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
are we here for dating or what??
Posted: 6/10/2007 8:02:11 PM
I have learned to make it a point to meet anyone on here that I am interwsted in quickly. It's usually best to be brief and just for coffee and then can take it further if we both want to. My logic is, and I can't remember who told me this, that it is too easy to be someone totally different from who you actually are online. As well, I don't really want to spend countless hours chatting online to find out months or weeks later that we don't like each other in person the way that we thought that we might form chatting. I don't know about anybody else but, I just don't have the time or the energy to put into a pointless endeavor. This way if we meet and are not attracted romantically, we can decide if we want to be friends or not. takes a lot of the pressure of as well.

JMHO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
2007 Stanley Cup Final
Posted: 6/10/2007 12:22:34 AM

why the hype about "canadian" teams anyway
canadians have to develop enough pride that we don't have to cheer for-or care-where the teams are from that are playing for the stanley cup

i am a leaf fan
if ottawa won-i would be depressed


So, let me see if I get this straight? If I am Canadian, I should have enough pride to cheer for anyone who plays in the NHL but, if I am a Leaf fan, I should be "depressed" if the Senators win? I don't unerstan that logik at all man! I am a Leaf fan and I wouldn't be depressed if Ottawa won. Not even if Vancouver made it! I could probably even rally a grunt of approval if Montreal won even though it goes against every fibre in my body from growing up a Leaf fan and watching the Canadiens keep all of their great players while we had to try to trade up on the little that we had. To hear you patriots of mine cheering against a Canadian team is what is truly depressing. Don't you have any national pride? Why are you a Leaf fan anyway? Like the Jersey?



and if you were a leafs fans or habs fan and actually cheered for the senators...your membership as a fan should be revoked, permanently


The main point that should be kept in mind is that we love hockey. If other people love it too, great! However, we do sort of have a rep to keep and gladly it doesn't depend on bandwagon jumpers who cheer for every American team that buys themself a good team any particular year (much like the Canadiens of old). I love playoff hockey, it doesn't matter who is playing. Of course if my team is there it is all the better but, I will cheer for whomever I please. So, don't tell me that I am not a Leaf fan because I wanted Ottawa to win. That's just ignorant!

Anaheim had the best team, mostly the best defence. That we know wins the playoffs but, not as much as it did before the cba. At least it was good hockey when the refs stayed out of it.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
stalking or coincidence??
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:48:03 AM
Have you thought about asking him? You might want to tell him that you are starting to worry about his behaviour and perhaps go as far as intimating that you may need to take steps to stop the furthering of it if it continues.

I would be very concerned if I were you. There is no telling what is going on for him.
If you tell him your concerns clearly and firmly and he continues the strangeness, you may then have grounds to take further action if you need to. Otherwise if you are going to allow him to randomly show up wherever and whenever he wants to, you are taking a great risk.

Sounds like some serious boundary issues going on here and they need to be dealt with fast. For instance, there is not only the issue of your safety but, you were "dropping off your daughter"! Has the thought crossed your mind that he was stalking her and not you? That for me would be the deal breaker. I mean if someone were running into me at random places that seemed strange it would be one thing but, if they started showing up where my children were it would be totally different.

Personally, if I ran into a friend or whatever in what may be construed as compromising, I would be certain to be very clear about what I am doing there and to address any concerns they may have. If this person cannot do this then there is a problem from the get-go.

JMHO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
setting boundaries in relationships
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:33:38 AM
The problem with 'recovery' groups is that there are a lot of 'sick' people there. I say this from experience in recovery personally. I have found that if go to these places, I need to remember that these people who are there are there for a certain reason. If I do not remember this and therefore expect them to act 'healthy', I am setting myself up for a failure of sorts.

The other thing about recovery groups is that they seem to work best for people who do not have any internal self awareness or control. It sounds to me like you may not be in that categorie and so, this venue may not be a good choice for you simply because its not geared towards your mentality.

Having said that, there are many benefits to attending this kind of group if you can 'set boundaries' for yourself in it. For instance, the type of sharing that happens in these groups can be very cathartic and life-changing. I would say that the fellowship is helpful as well but, it sounds like that is what you are having problems with. I would say to try and be more selctive about who you trust in these settings. Just because they say that they are 'recovered' does not mean that they are. It depends on many things like their intentions, motivation, goals, aspirations and capability.

If you are going to go to these meetings, I would say "take the good and leave the bad". Meaning, go for yourself and don't worry about anybody else and what they are doing there.

JMHO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Camping Close to Moncton
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:21:57 AM
This brings back memories for me. I am living on the west coast now but am from new brunswick. Have done some camping around moncton. Shediac can be a nice place to camp because of the beaches and there used to be a lot of family and otherwise friendly places. Fundy Park is a little further away but has a lot more facilities, cabins and stuff I think. If you go a little bit further down the road almost to Sussex, there was a KOA campground. Thsi could be the ultimate family place but, it depends on your needing to be close to moncton. If you really want to get the beach experience, go across the fixed link to PEI and there is likely lots of camping. Pretty much anywhere in new brunswick or PEI is friendly. Moncton is also close to the NS border but, I'm not sure what camping there is.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Recieve email when someone ads you to favorites(3 per day max):
Posted: 6/4/2007 12:13:26 PM
I have an idea. How about a confirmation message when someone tries to ad you as a fav?

There is another site that does that, . From my perspective, I was just trying to make sense out of this site and while looking at several profiles I started to get overwhelmed with the info. So, I started using the fav tool to sort through all of the people on here and I had no idea that the people who I added were even aware that I had. I am sure that many of them wonder why I added them and then never contacted them. Most of them probably don't care but, I have noticed that some people complain about that on here. Since I have received a notification of someone adding me, I have a different perspective now and would not have used that for sorting had I known that it would present itself to them that way.

If we had a confirmation message, we could control who adds us and who doesn't. Seems to me that it would solve the problem that some people have with being added without their consent. It would also facilitate more contact with peole who are potentially interested in you because if I got a message saying that so and so wanted to add me as a fav, I may become interested in them when I otherwise may not have even noticed them. There are just so many people on here.

What does everyone think? How about you admin?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Is Canada A True Hockey Nation?
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:21:58 AM
OP, didn't I see you on a beer commercial? Being loaded onto a plane weren't you? LOL



Canadians don't like hockey? Get A Grip!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
2007 Stanley Cup Final
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:10:53 AM
Even though the Sens lost game one, I thought that they kept their composure. I think that this will serve them well in the next game. The long layoff for them was bound to have ane ffect and they did sem to attempt to get through it. They are going to be better prepared for what the Ducks bring in the defensive zone as well as their offense. The Sens have made adjustments and played through the challenges of their other opponents in the playoffs this year and I believe that they will continue to BRING IT to the Ducks. I don't think that the Ducks will be able to elevate their game much more than what they had tonight and will be outplayed overall. Emery will rise to the occasion along with the rest of his team.

As far as the Leafs go, if we can get some encouragement from the Sens going to the finals or winning the cup, I will take it. We need something to turn things around. I mean, when have we missed the playoffs two years running? NEVER Only since the CBA.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Eastern ~Conference Playoff Run 2007
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:58:39 PM

NYR arent gonna make it past the second round


You base your arguments on what? Who they play against is irrelevant only because they are involved in the equation. ie: they weren't supposed to beat Atlanta either!

You neglect to consider that NYR were the hottest team in the league for the last two months of the season. Prior to that the weren't even in the race for the playoffs.
Emotionally, I like Ottawa but, all I'm saying is if I was putting money on the line, it would go on NYR.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
WOW, What a Hockey Gamd Between Canucks And Stars:
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:52:30 PM
Ya know, its too bad that even if the 'nucks do make it through round one, they will not do anything else this year. Sharks and Ducks are too strong for everyone else in the west.
Can't win with just defence anymore.
However, wasn't it '93 that they got bounced from the first round and came back the next year to go to game seven of the finals?

Losing can be a very positive thing if it is used to learn from.

It's unfortunate that the coach doesn't seem to see things this way right now.

They have a chance to learn from this season and gain from the playoffs the experience of it so that they can go farther next year. What it sounds like they will do is to bounce the leaders that they do have ( Linden, Naslund, Morrison, Ohlund) in order to set the tone of winning. I agree with this if it is only the said leaders fault for losing. This is not the case as I see it because it is the coach who put the system in place that is the main cause of the playoff sputter. In my mind, if he tries to blame the experienced players, he needs to go. Hey, isn't Quinn available? LOL '94 all over again! All they need is someone like Cliff Ronning, maybe Avery will be up for free agency.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Eastern ~Conference Playoff Run 2007
Posted: 4/20/2007 11:51:16 PM
K,

I officially pick the Rangers to win the eastern conference. Not a fan just making a pick. Am a fan of Shanahan though, was a Jagr fan before he left Pits. And that Avery? Who knew? Totally nullifies...what was his name again? Nopoints, I think. LOL
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
WOW, What a Hockey Gamd Between Canucks And Stars:
Posted: 4/20/2007 11:45:28 PM

STRANGLEHOLD on the Stars


Well somebody has to play 'grapes' here.

It looks like the 'nucks are looking past the stars! We all know how important game five always is. By losing that one, they gave Dallas new life and they may be hard to beat now. Their only hope is for the experience in the dressing room to step up and lead the pack. Look for Linden to have a big game six! After all he's been there ('94)before. I am a fan of his and he is looking more like his old self this series. Is there anybody else in the room that has been there?

Btw, as far as the twins go I would think that playing with Naslund would mean that they would have to be sextuple teamed! They are beginning to gel as a line. However, Dallas has several players who have been playing together so long and have been in the playoffs many times together that they are nullifying the line of countrymen on the 'nucks. JMO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 402 (view)
 
what did your last ex teach you?
Posted: 4/16/2007 8:21:43 PM
I am responsible for my own happiness.
That I do have feelings and can be responsible for them.
That if somebody tells me something, I should believe it even if I don't want to.
Nobody's perfect.
To relax better.
To laugh more.
To smile more.
Be myself.

Go
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
What's the first stat you look at?
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:54:15 AM

Religion or not, I'm wary of anyone who is ignorant - period. Those people come in all beliefs so I don't care what religion you are or aren't -as long as you're not one of *those* people. You can never tell unless you talk to them live how tolerant or ignorant they are so I don't even bother considering it when I check a profile.


I am starting to realize exactly what you are talking about here poster. People who classify themself on here as one thing or another; or don't classify themself as one thing or another, are not necessarily what they do or do not say they are or aren't. Oh no! I just confused myself. LMFO Anyway, it made sense to me...at the time. LOL

Its too late. What am I doing this for? LOL
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I feel guilty dating women with kids...
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:42:10 AM
Happy,

You said that you wanted 'serious feedback' so, I am offering mine.
Do with it what you will.


Without my kids I feel empty but I won't kidnap them. I need serious feedback!


Here are some facts for you that I have learned through being a parent of a son from a broken realtionship for the past fourteen years.

1. Having 'kids' is not about what we feel.
2. It is about being a parent.
3. Sometimes that means not getting the feelings that we want.
4. It is not their fault that our relationships didn't work out.
5. Sometimes we need to give up what we want to do what is best for them, no matter how it makes us feel.

I can sincerely tell you that I have struggled with the same things over the past fourteen years and through the first two years of my sons life when our common law marriage was falling apart. However, I like to think that I have done what is best for my son most times, even when I did not want to. I am seeing the evidence now that he is getting older because we are close as a son and father should be. He comes to me to talk about what is going on in his life because I have proven to him through my actions over the years that I want what is best for him rather than myself. This is worth more to me now than any feelings that I could have had over all those years that I felt that I was not being given everything that i wanted to have. It is/was just a fact of life for us that our relatioship did not last and we all had to deal with that. That has meant different things for each of us but, the main thing to remember is that it is not the children's fault. They are the ones who can be most hurt by it and we can keep much of it from them if we only shoulder our own hurt without placing any part of it upon them. This is the kindest thing that we can do and is a parents role in its purest form, to protect their child. JMO


I bond with their kids but I feel guilty not being with my own


At the same time, I feel that I personally need to be very careful about getting involved with someone else's children. If I am not going to stick around to make the commitment and do the work then I have no business even meeting them. They do not deserve to be bounced around by us single people just looking to meet new potential partners. If I am simply getting my own needs met by 'bonding' with them, I need to step back and look seriously at my motives. Am I really benefitting them in the relationship or is it purely selfish? JMO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Mission Trips
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:10:28 AM
OP

I am curious now. where do you think of going?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
What is a good first email?
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:07:44 AM

I usually say "how come you never call".


Thats hilarious!

Btw, How come you never call?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What are values all about?
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:02:37 AM

Its peace of mind with out everyone elses added stress.


So, the elite (those with a home that is secure) have the rights and the less fortunate do not? Reminds me of secure compounds as homes in S. America. The rich have them while the poor can be shot on the street anytime at all.

Not saying that people should not have the right to be safe but, it could extend to all couldn't it? Why can't we all just get along?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Self confidence and dating sites
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:25:14 AM
I agree with the other posters, the site has nothing to do with my self confidence.

However, it has been an exercise in learning about how to display myself publicly for the first time in I don't know how long! Just the fact that I am approaching people and people are approaching me, whether that be just to chat or explore other possibilities, is warrant to examine my self confidence (or lack of).

It was hard to learn how but, now I feel totally comfortable with it. It is interesting how this has evolved for me through the writing process of my profile and communicating in other ways. I would not have become comfortable with it as fast when I was younger and may have become frustrated with it quickly then because I may not have had the maturity to be responsible with it emotionally.

I imagine that my response may have been similiar to many I have seen on the site, to dismiss it as ridiculous or not worth my time. Glad that I can enjoy the site now in a responsible way and really enjoy the forums.

Great thread OP!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
WOW, What a Hockey Gamd Between Canucks And Stars:
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:01:59 AM
Yeah. It was a good game. I thought the one between the thrashers and sharks was good too. I think whoever comes out of that series may give the ducks a run for their money, or the canucks.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
i have decided to let this little fishy go for now
Posted: 4/11/2007 10:06:25 PM
k. so what are ya doin this weekend?

Oh d*** you're in ont! maybe later
Seriously though, you're a catch girl! Hang in there for the right one.

Too bad about the leafs! Raycroft was worn out i hear, next year.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
What's the first stat you look at?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:08:54 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm old and I don't think that you have the hots for me?????????????


Theres a cougar thread?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Eastern ~Conference Playoff Run 2007
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:06:16 PM

the defense is rock solid and very deep, goaltending was already good but is still getting better.


Yeah,

thats why TO scored ...ten goals on them in the last two games!


Their defence is so full of holes they wont get past the second round!

Their lucky that TO didn't make it (Raycroft was worn out) or they wouldn't have made it past the first round. TO would have sent them packing for sure but NYI are lame!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What are values all about?
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:52:37 PM

Pragmas/ are types of values that one is willing to advocate, but not with any type of action (coercive or not). Fairly often, Pragmas are large systems that if defended with action, would either not gain from such defense because of their size (and resultant tendency for variation) or would disrupt people's personal life as they try to convert/snub everyone. Full adherence to any particular philosophy would be one kind of Pragma.


Are you referring to argumentation analysis? If so, how does that apply here?

It does but, only in the sense that seems to be what is happening: protagonist v antagonist although there does not seem to be any resolution?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
What's the first stat you look at?
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:25:27 PM

their restrictions


I do not put any restrictions on my profile because then people from the forums could not talk to me. So, if they are doing the same thing, you could be missing out on some fine catches! Also, it annoys me when people who I want to talk with have too many restrictions on their account and I cannot email them to chat.
JMO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Globalization: Myth and Reality
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:20:52 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

does the globalization of the world really benefit the people? Or does it only reap more profits for the haves, once again


Same point that I brought up and I still haven't figured out what the responses meant. Were they Greek? LOL Joke!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
he's recently recovering from addiction...do i date him?
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:26:47 PM
Hi wildgirl,

It sounds like you are going through alot. A question that somebody asked me when I was early in recovery comes to mind for me. "What are you getting from the relationship that you cannot get without it?" I think that if you honestly answer that question you will be farther ahead than you are. Not talking about the obvious stuff but, rather what it is that the immediate intimacy is filling for you? If you answer this and find that by pursuing this relationship, you are missing what you really need to be doing in order to be true to yourself and your priorities, then I am sure that you will have your answer to your questions.

As far as your friend goes, he may need to ask himself some hard questions as well. Has he thought about any type of treatment? There are many options available including AA, NA, addictions counselling, residential treatment and outpatient treatment. Just as a personal health issue and stress management he could get as much support as possible to recover from any substance abuse if he is going to be successful at living a life free from any dependence on a substance.

I think that the only question you need to ask yourself about his recovery is; 'Are you able to support him or would your involvement reduce his chances of success?'
Consequently, it may be important to find out if he is able to support you.

I personally do not ascribe to any hard line about whether or not we should be involved with people in recovery or not whether it is early or later. It is only significant to me that we do tend to attract the same kind of person that we are. So, I have found that I am able to learn alot about myself by regarding the people whom I am intimately involved with.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
What's the first stat you look at?
Posted: 4/10/2007 1:43:15 PM

For me it's religion, if it says anything besides "non religious" I usually click back right away


That's funny, mine is exactly the opposite.
I look at religion and if it says anything besides Christian, Anglican, Presbyterian, Catholic or any other type of Christian, I move on.
My faith is very important to me and I cannot imagine being with anyone who does not share and support it as I would seek to for them.
JMO
After that its, smoker, drinker, age, location, marital status.
Flexible with most of these but, have limits that are non-negotiable.
I do not smoke and do not want to think about my partner dying a slow painful death.
I wish that there were more definitive terms for drinking, like occasional, infrequent, regular so that I could get more info about this. As I don't drink, I don't see myself spending a huge amount of time with someone who does regularly.
Age, must be within my range which is flexible but defined as well.
Location, do not have time or energy for long distance relationship as a personal choice.
Marital status, if someone is seperated, why are they looking? My personal preference that someone I am involved with be done with their past. My experience is that it makes things too complicated for everyone involved.
Go

 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Eastern ~Conference Playoff Run 2007
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:38:49 AM

Bye bye Leafs!!


YEAH! C U next year 'cause unlike other teams' fans I am not a bandwagon jumper. I am a Leafs fan.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
HOW DOES THE POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN GENDERS AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:11:04 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^You go girl!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 65 (view)
 
They have to be kidding!
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:05:10 AM

You should not have to infer anything I said it outright. I don't believe that it is prejudice that puts people behind bars


???????????????????
Sorry but, I still do not understand??????????????

I was asking if it is actually going on and if so, do you care? NOT if you think it is prejudice. I know what prejudice is and do not need it explained to me.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
They HAVE TO be kidding!
Posted: 4/7/2007 1:24:52 PM

You were refferring to our system here originally saying that you were concerned that it was possibly racial prejudice about who was in prison and how we take care of our poor and sick.


actually I was asking questions: Is this happening? Do you know about it? Do you care if it is?

So, given your responses I should infer that you do not believe it is happening or it is and you do not care?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What are values all about?
Posted: 4/7/2007 1:21:37 PM

Are you referring to nations or countries? Makes a difference.
National or country "shared" values? Is that not a tad "totalitarian" in mentality? How does it blend with a pluralist, secular, liberal democratic, moderate society/economy/nation/country?


Interesting how this thread frames everything as bipolar choices. Are there really so many absolutes that we cannot see vectors in our values? Human values are not absolutes and are really quite flexible and subject to change based on increasing understanding. Forcing bipolar absolutes quells understanding and increases conflict.


Sorry, I should have defined better. I am looking at general value shifts that societies have taken. Also, I am not making any arguments here yet. Only looking for info at this point. Things just are not making sense to me and so, I am looking for more info to base any decisions that I make upon.

More to come. Need to get to work right now.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What are values all about?
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:13:37 AM
Proto


there is too much pressure put on us mere mortals to exact change, fair enough, each of us as individuals have a responsibilty to contribute to the care and safe keeping of this planet but on a global scale we need to lobby our politicians and council representatives to be more proactive and a lot less full of schmoozing in the interests of winning votes at the next election.


Good insight here


I am not so sure any of us have the absolute belief that we as humans have the god given right to dominate this planet


I could make a case for it.


Self preservation is the key to enjoying the status quo


Who said that I wanted anything to do with the status quo?


 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What are values all about?
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:08:23 AM
UMMM^^^^^^^^^^^Could you be a little more vague?


I think you'll find your comfort zone


Who said that I am looking for my comfort zone?



common sense

The only problem with this is that it is not very common today.



Atraphy

?



Think small. Contibute where you can when you can


AND? Is that it?
Apathetic to me.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Eastern ~Conference Playoff Run 2007
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:04:01 AM


6. Toronto Maple Leafs 93 points
7. Montreal Canadiens 92 points
8. New York Rangers 92 points
9. Tampa Bay Lightning 92 points
10. NY Islanders 89 points

Here's a scenario for y'all to think about!

GO LEAFS!!
Any takers?


AAARRRGGGHHH!

So much for my scenario!
Hope they can beat the habs!

GO LEAFS GO!
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
They have GOT to be kidding !
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:57:09 AM

There is not a prejudice against certain races when it comes to care and food


Thats a pretty all encompassing statement. I wonder how you could come to such a conclusion? You must be the omnipresent one that I have been seeking!


It is also not fair for you to assume that since I am of the caucasian persuasian that I have not ever been affected by racism as this would be an untrue statement since I have spent many years in my career working where I was definetly in the minority.


I was making a general comment not a personal statement. Of course, I do not know anything personal about you.

The rest of your comments are dealing with personal and local issues as well when I was talking more about global events. How could I know anything about your personal situation?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Calvinism Vs. Arminianism
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:52:21 AM

Consider this: If Christ died for everyone who ever lived, He would also be at the right hand of God making intercession for them this very minute. Why has this not happened?


This has happened according to hebrews 7:25.

The problem with your argument and most of them that are polarized on one or other of these stated positions is that they do not take into account our responsibility of choice. God's position is clear and he has accomplished what needs to be done in order to ssave us. However, he does not force us to do anything. It is a choice that we need to make.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 212 (view)
 
Homeless people in your city?
Posted: 4/6/2007 9:47:56 AM

But by sticking your head into the sand, or typing opinions online... changes nothing.


I disagree, otherwise I would not be expressing myself online. I do the things that affect change but, I also believe in being vocal about my stance in society simply because there needs to be an opposing view to the rantings of certain polarized positions in order to create discussion on matters that I feel are important.


First you have to help. It can't be only a government solution.

After giving help, you can put some structures/thoughts into place.

There is always a better way for anyone and everyone.

Gevernments can only give coin away and usually hire ineffective people to administer the coin, the counselling, the supposingly solutions.


Once again, I disagree. If the government exists to carry out the desires of the community, then we as members need to be involved in what they are doing. It is exactly your position that creates apathetic behaviour and then we can all whine about what they do not do. They are only responsible to do what we tell them to. So, if we do not tell them to do anything, who's fault is it if nothing happens? JMO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
They have GOT to be kidding !
Posted: 4/5/2007 11:39:36 PM

You are really grasping at straws


Yeah, I feel that way alot but, it has turned out that it is worth it to explore the world and how it works. I have found that to do otherwise is to accept the status quo.
So, bear with me for just a moment.


show documents PROVING WHO YOU ARE


I am making a comparison to what happened in Germany during the Nazi regime. People were not allowed to move about freely without proper identification. Its actually not as far-fetched as some suggestions here on this thread:


Soon they will just have a mark on your body to ID or scan just like at the grocery store....Worried yet?


" Show me your ID comrade ".


I think it is becoming apparent that the "war on terror" is a guise for bringing in a police state domestically and at the same time expanding the agenda internationally.


Ever hear of the Patriot Act? It is quite similar to laws passed in Nazi Germany allowing the government to detain anyone it damn well pleases anytime it damn well pleases under the guise of national security and the war on terrorism. Own a pair of pliers, wire cutters, or a set of screwdrivers, or a roll of tape? Bomb making tools. Further more, you don't have to be charged or even told why you are being held, and can be held indefinitely. We even have our smaller versions of concentration camps: Guantanamo Bay, secret jails in third world countries. We haven't started gassing people yet, or have we? Seems like there are plenty of "accidents". There are other provisions in other "secret" laws allowing for the disbandment of crowds (protestors) and the use of military force against civilians. The bill of rights is being slowly but surely laid in it's grave while we all merrily ride the current administrations handbasket to hell.



http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Operation_Garden_Plot


http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Operation_Cable_Splicer


These are websites where you can find out what is going to happen in the event of an emergency.


http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Prison-industrial_complex


This is one to get info about the privatization of prisons, if you are interested.


I sincerely hope that I am just paranoid about all of this but, I find it disturbing.

First of all, I would need to explain that I see the criminality of certain practices are constructed by societies and are not necessarily right or true. For instance, the criminalization of drug use in my opinion is not beneficial to society. If any behaviours that occur during use are a problem, then those could be dealt with within the legal framework of the country. However, I am not convinced that putting people in jail for simply getting high is any sort of answer. JMO


What exactly is your problem with a fair economy?


My problem is that it is not a fair economy. the people who are dying by the millions are not in a position to afford the drugs that they desperately need and it is unfair, in my opinion, to deny these to them simply because the corporations will not make their necessary profits by selling them. These profits, btw, are so high that they are unrealizable in virtually any other venture. Further, there seems to be an underlying racism at work to facilitate such a strategy. It would seem to me, to put it bluntly, that there are people in control of certain things who are ready , willing and able to allow people (who they see as a threat to their own advancement in resources) to die in order to have their own selfish needs (no matter how greedy they are) met.

I am not saying that we should all go hide under a rock or something. I am saying that as responsible people we need to start having a voice in what is happening in our world.
Perhaps I am wrong, maybe there is no racism at work in this instance but, it is the only thing that makes sense to me. I also know that it is difficult to recognize racism unless one has been subjected to it at some point. Perhaps I am right and there arewenough people in this society who want to see people of other races exterminated by not allowing them to have the care that they need. If that is the case, perhaps I will prepare to move sooner than expected because I would rather be there than here.

In any case, it would be better than having to produce a card every time I turn a corner or having a chip implanted in me in order to get food.
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
They have GOT to be kidding !
Posted: 4/5/2007 1:56:12 PM

certain populations control the making and delivery of drugs that could save literally millions of lives of people of other nations, race and preference and decides to restrict the flow of these rather than allow them to be distributed?



do you mean the ones who invented it, hold the patent, manufacture it and restrictt he flow to only those who buy it at marker price?


Yes that is who I mean. Why do you ask?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
They have GOT to be kidding !
Posted: 4/5/2007 12:39:31 PM

As far as the prisons being run by corporations and that being a conflict of interest how so??? They know how to make money so let them.


well, personally I would not want privately run prisons because the private company is ultimately responsible to make a profit. that for me is the conflict of interest.


I have always felt the drivers license was a form of ID so it doesn't bother me to go in person I think the pics should be updated as well. I don't understand the big deal.


I suppose that the german people did not see a problem in the early thirties with what their government was doing either.


Is it prejudice that causes a certain population to contract aids more than others???


You brought up AIDS, is it prejudice when certain populations control the making and delivery of drugs that could save literally millions of lives of people of other nations, race and preference and decides to restrict the flow of these rather than allow them to be distributed?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
They have GOT to be kidding !
Posted: 4/5/2007 11:47:31 AM

you don't have to be charged or even told why you are being held, and can be held indefinitely


Hi! I am Canadian and perhaps some of you from the States could explain somethings to me. Why are corporations being allowed to run the prison system in America? Isn't there a conflict of interest there? Also, why are most of the people in jail there African American? It looks like a real problem with racism looking in from the outside .

As well, why are there just as many private troops in Iraq being paid by the US government as there are regular army? This looks like a way to defer the popular opinion of anti-war by side-stepping the entire issue with troops that are unaccountable to the people. For instance, the private troops that are killed or injured are not focused on in the media the same way that regular troops are. So, the people's perception is that there are 300,000 troops there (or whatever the number is) when in reality there are 600,000. This presents many problems that I can see; the regular troops are not paid or supported the same way that private ones are, a kind of two-tiered system is set up in which the publicly paid service personnel are the losers, the private troops are not subject to the same public scrutiny that regular ones are, setting them up to be above the law while the ones who are accountable are raked over the coals. It would seem to me that this is an erosion of the very troops moral that is necessary to sustain any type of offensive. The nationals in country would be hard pressed to distinguish between regular and private and may perhaps respond to them in the same ways no matter what the integrity of one is over the other.

Is this stuff true? Do you guys know about it? Do you care?

OP, did the Allies really win the war (WWII)? If so, why then are the same things happening over again? Racial segregation, cleansing in the media with symbolism, concentration camps, restriction of rights determined by proper paperwork for "national security", and systematic invasion of other countries to maintain way of life and wealth, a form of elitism?
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Theory on online dating ..
Posted: 4/5/2007 11:14:57 AM

Relationships are NOT emails, texts, flirts....relationships are built on chemistry, communication and a desire to be with someone to build something solid. It involves rearranging priorities so you aren't neglecting the other person during the building process. It involves openly discussing the 'sites' you are on, the 'friends' you are talking to and realistic expectations of each other in putting things online - on hold. A relationship cannot be built on the for now - while looking for someone else.


Could not have said it better myself.

I do not really take this internet dating thing seriously. I think that would just be setting myself up for failure. I enjoy meeting real people and getting to know them. However, I am not excluding the possibility of meeting some of those on here. I just do not think that it is likely.

The way I see it is I have several things working against me. I don't remember who said this, I think it was a comedien. 'The older I get, the more particular I get about who I will date. As well, the older I get, the uglier I get, the more things sag, wrinkle, grow and hurt.' LOL So, I find that I have to rely on my redeeming features that are best presented in person. Things like sense of humour, communication, sensitivity, energy, commitment, adventurousness and intelligence.

I don't know how to communicate these things effectively online without seeming to be some kind of fake. It goes both ways as well for me, that I need to be able to 'read' a woman in person to see if what she is presenting is genuine or not. So, it is my opinion that it is better to meet people out in the public. It is easier for us to read each other to see what we are really about. There was another post I read somewhere that we should try to meet people whom we connect with online sooner rather than later to avoid becoming involved emotionally before we know the person. I would say that I would not become involved with someone online unless I met them and started to get a sense of what they are all about. Fast or slow, doesn't matter. Just needs to be concrete and genuine before I get involved. GO
 luckyguy157
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
HOW DOES THE POWER IMBALANCE BETWEEN GENDERS AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:32:26 AM
Sassyaquarius,


That being said, power between people can never really be equal.. IMO it isn't a static thing... so the best that you can do is be aware of the subtle shifts that occur and adjust accordingly... at least that is what I do now that I have learned and been on both ends of the power scale.


Care to elaborate? Specifically, how and what did you learn. For instance, what are the shifts that you have become aware of and how do you recognize them? When you and your intimate other recognize these, how do you "adjust accordingly"?

Appreciate your insights so far and would like to know more.
 
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