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 Author Thread: Spiritual, what does it mean to you?
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Spiritual, what does it mean to you?
Posted: 10/3/2012 2:40:26 AM
To me, someone who says they are spiritual is a person who tries to achieve a heightened sense of themselves, others and the world around them. They search for an inner peace that allows them to live by the values or moral code they have established as their personal path and purpose in life. It's an inner nurturing of one's soul which allows them to move forward in life, but also to be at peace with others and their environment or surroundings.

Spirituality has more to do with one's own being that it does with believing in God, depending on whether you put your faith in yourself, others or God.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Parents' objections to being together
Posted: 7/21/2012 9:30:09 AM

We had a nap (both fully dressed but underneath the covers, door open), made some food and ate it in my room whilst watching a movie. We talked for a bit afterwards and she left at 11pm.


Maybe your parents are concerned about her living there on a more than part-time basis, eating up the food that they have plans for in their next breakfast, lunch, dinner or snack. Then there is putting up with someone else's cuddys in the bathroom toilet, sink and shower and the lack of privacy they might expect to have in their own home. Then there is her coming and going at all hours of the night..........noise and not knowing if the house has been properly locked up for the night when she leaves. Did you get a police clearance to prove to your parents that she is not a thief, who wants to steal everything that your parents have worked for? Lastly, hope your not gonna be asking your parents to pick up after her and do her laundry for her as well.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:46:28 PM

Men are the ones who are patient and listen to our crap, they hug us when we are sad, they'll give us the shirt off their back..just so we are 'taken care of'...just so we are 'nurtured'...and if a man does this, you just watch the women, she'll protect that man with her life...


Msg 14..........Thanks for a great post. I never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely correct IMO. I believe men are just as emotional as women, but men a pressured more by society to NOT show it. Women are considered more emotional.........but that's only because we are NOT pressured to hide our emotions.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 322 (view)
 
Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:23:29 PM

Seriously, why are men held to higher standards than women are?


Does anyone, except yourself actually believe this?
One of the major reasons females MATURE faster than males is because women are held to a higher standard by society in almost everything that they are expected to do.

Guys are expected to initiate the date because only they know if they have enough money to pay for a date and only they know if they are mature enough to handle a relationship with a woman.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:35:51 PM

Should I have asked her for the printed test results.


YES, and she should have asked you for your printed test results.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Ending a Relationship or Friendship....do's and don'ts & personal choices
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:51:38 PM
I met a total gentleman on POF a couple years ago with whom I had about 4 very enjoyable dates with and I still think about him from time to time. Anyway, he told me right from the start that he was also dating another lady at the same time..........I very much appreciated his honesty. About 3 weeks had passed and I e-mailed him an invitation to have a barbecue at my home, and he e-mailed me back...... he had decided to become exclusive with the other lady and he wished me luck in my search and thanked me for 4 very enjoyable dates. Of course I felt a little sad, but I was very impressed at his gentlemanly way of handling this.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Ending a Relationship or Friendship....do's and don'ts & personal choices
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:54:36 PM
Many of us have had a relationship or friendship that was ended either by yourself or by the other person. Do you feel that you are owed an explanation by the other person ending the relationship/friendship?

Do you feel that you owe the other person an explanation if you are the one ending the relationship/friendship? Do you have certain rules or a personal code of conduct that you like to follow when you want to end a relationship/friendship? For example....do you discuss the issue(s) that are distressing you 1, 2 or 3 times before deciding to end the relationship/friendship? Do you usually aim for calmness before attempting a discussion or do you wait until you are really angry?

Do you purposely start an argument..............in hopes that the other person will end the relationship/friendship first?
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 166 (view)
 
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/16/2012 4:49:50 PM

There seems to be a few people who feel that once a man is in a FWB relationship he has the best win-win situation. He gets the sex, requiring no committment and no responsibility, little or no drama, likely not monogamous and he's usually free to continue to play the field...


I would be more inclined to call this a sexual addiction, conjoined with some mental health issues..........such as an inability to form long-lasting relationships with not just women, but with men as well. Some detachment issues due to that person not being able to trust other people and/or not able to trust themselves. I would say this type of person enjoys creating drama but does not want to be held responsible for causing drama for other people and is quite possibly........very much a loner. This type of person does not like to be criticized, but is very judgemental and critical of other people, and probably has a tough time expressing himself to others. Thus the need, to routinely detach himself from solid and long-lasting friendships.

Yah, I would say this type of person is only functional in FWB situations and may never understand himself well enough to make any changes that could lead to greater happiness.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Imaginary love triangle??
Posted: 7/16/2012 2:40:28 PM

Raise your bar, honey, you’re smart and don’t give yourself enough credit.

You should set up shop as a cheater catching PI. You’d make a fortune and you’d be too busy to be lonely.


She's right and you know it OP................so own your smarts and make it work for you!


If your lonely..............some to most men will only dull that pain for as long as it takes for them to have an orgasm, or say about 10 minutes to an hour. There are many more hours in a day that you can put to good use with your kind of smarts. I don't know where you live OP, but another option is to join a single parents group, where they alternate child sitting favors for each other, no money changes hands and you get some time away from children to focus on yourself. The happier that Mom is, the happier your children are going to be when your time with them is quality time. Hope you have lots of family who are supportive and of course you need to show them your appreciation. Surround yourself with other high quality single mothers, have potlucks or jointly cook a dinner with another single mom, while children play and enjoy. Just some suggestions that I have for you, that's all.

You probably should take a much deserved break from men........especially if they have caused you so much anguish. Know your limits and establish some boundaries. Good Luck!!
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Imaginary love triangle??
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:49:21 PM

I know a lot of you tell me that I'm just as bad and horrible as he is. Maybe that's true.


I don't think your bad or horrible, but I do think your plan was quite brilliant and extremely humorous and for those who don't see the humor in it...................well they just need to pull that lump of coal out of their arses that has been stuck up there since last Christmas. Nothing like a good bowel movement, to put a smile on your face.

I had no access to read your profile OP.......so I really didn't know that you have 4 children, probably best that you concentrate on raising your children and have a little fun every now and then. My father taught me at an early age not to fall for men too easily...........because there is a big difference between falling in love and falling in lust. One of those things leads to having more children that you can comfortably handle. Good Luck and Stay Well.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Imaginary love triangle??
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:23:13 PM

I am still trying to figure out how a 30-something year old woman with 4 kids could possibluy have so much time on her hands that she can play games like this.


The OP does NOT have 4 children.............the imaginary 3rd person in this love triangle does, and the imaginary 3rd person is a fictitious character. No disrespect, but you need to re-read the original post.

ONCE AGAIN.............THE OP DOES NOT HAVE 4 CHILDREN.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Imaginary love triangle??
Posted: 7/16/2012 12:55:51 PM
I think you have a wonderful sting operation going on there OP, despite what others may say............some people just don't like getting caught in their own lies and deceptions. Of course she's got "trust issues," ........that's because too many people are deceitful and untrustworthy and she's finally taking a stand against a deceptive person and doing something about it.

Good for you my dear, respecting yourself first before others who may be deceptive is always a good policy. Let me know how this turns out for you, and I hope you won't make to big of deal of it with him and just move on quickly to avoid any further stress in your life..........after all, he's really not worthy of your time anymore and it's not like you ever fell in love with him anyway, Right???

Your a smart one and Emma Peel would be proud of you.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Sex after monogamy?
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:39:30 AM

It would be like buying a car without test driving it.


I think in these modern times most people don't want to buy the car anymore.........they just want to test drive it and maybe lease it for about 2 - 5 years, before they move on to the next unsuspecting car.

I too, like to take my time.......sometimes a lot of time forming a friendship and some foundation of trust. I like to know that the person I'm dating and/or forming a relationship with, also respects themselves.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:09:36 AM
Hegemon...........sounds like you have gone through a very difficult time. Some anti-depressants cause an imbalance of androgens in both males and females. Androgens are for the most part.....more of a male hormone than female, but both males and females have them. An imbalance of androgens will cause several unwanted side effects which include PCOS and loss of libido and others too numerous to mention here on the forums.

If you under trememdous emotional stress, it can affect your physical health as well.........see a medical doctor for your physical health, but see a mental health professional for your mental health and emotional well-being.
Personally, I would try to talk out my problems with a mental health professional before agreeing to take anti-depressants from a medical doctor.............but that's just me and my personal preference.

Everyone has stress in their life..........it's best to learn how to handle it at an early age and hopefully DRUG-FREE.
Once again, good luck and I hope you can mend your heart, your relationship and your physical and mental well-being. Hope you can get your car and job back as well, but if you can't get your job back........I'm sure another door of opportunity will open for you soon, and maybe for the better.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:07:22 AM

Zoloft and other antidepressant will cause loss of sex drive and even interest in dating.


Anti-depressants almost ruined my friends marriage because of her loss of sex drive, thankfully she had a husband who researched what anti-depressants really are and what they do. They change the chemistry of the brain and can cause some negative hormonal reactions........which explains the loss of sex drive.

The better doctors are becoming more and more apprehensive about using them..........especially for women, due to their already up and down hormonal chemistry. My friend had to slowly ween herself off the anti-depressants and it took almost a full year, because coming off of them is just a roller-coaster of a ride. Rather than continuing with the anti-depressants, my friend went to a very good pshychologist who helped her talk through her issues that were causing the depression and she has been anti-depressant free for nearly 2 years.

When you ask your girlfriend what's wrong and she says, "I don't know".........it's probably true because anti-depressants also cause the "I don't care" syndrome, which causes people to simply go through the motions of living their life with very little enjoyment. A lot of the research done on anti-depressants is available on various internet sites.........there are even forums for people trying to get away from using the drug.

Good Luck OP............you sound like a wonderful person to me.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Sex after monogamy?
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:24:44 PM
I've heard that some people are in a relationship and exclusive only for as long as the one hour of sex lasts and the 3 or 4 hours that it takes to have a good rejuvenating sleep.

Take your time, what's the rush..............if you don't feel comfortable about having sex with that person after
xx many days, xx many weeks or xx many months, then they probably are not the right person to be in a relationship with.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Hurt, Confused
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:16:43 PM
OP........if your name is on the lease and he's moved out, then you are fully entitled to sublet the apartment if that is written into your lease. Also, you are entitled to a key........it may cost you a few bucks to have the locks changed by management, but legally the apartment is yours for the remainder of the lease. You can also take him to small claims court for the remaining rent owing on the lease.

Now, this is why I never rent to couples............they got too much freaking drama for me.

Good Luck and stay well!!
In about 5 years and with some luck.......you won't even remember his name.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When your best friend is attracted to your mate
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:20:19 AM

You need better friends.

Good friends go by the Bro Code.

They only approach an ex after clearing it with you, and usually only after a healthy amount of time. Otherwise, it's 100% off limits.


I couldn't have said it better myself................Good Friends go by the Sister Code as well.

Any betrayals of friendship, will not receive a second chance. All I ask, is that they keep a real good distance away from me and my family. Anybody without an honorable system of good moral principles won't have the honor of being called my friend, so I choose my friends wisely.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Hooked on having a FWB?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:56:02 AM
If men and women want to phuck something that they don't want to, or don't have to have feelings for........I think they sell vibrators for women and life-sized dolls for men.

Oh, but you say you want the warmth and comfort of another human body next to you.........no, no, no, that would require you to have some feelings for the thing that you are phucking.

Talk about the GHETTO MENTALITY, and they keep producing and raising more ghetto-minded babies and children.........who grow up and become really ANGRY one day. That's when your going to get your "Hooked on having FWB" arses kicked.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
We broke up and he threatened to report me stealing
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:38:27 PM

Drive the car to the nearest police station, tell the guy at the desk that some psycho let you borrow it then is demanding you drive it somewhere else or he will report it stolen, it's just too crazy. Bye.

You are his mistress, nothing more. Accept that or move on.


EXCELLENT ADVICE ....LotusTemple

He's been having 2 cakes at the same time and all the sugar has turned him into a psycho, so OP...........best to bow out and drop the car at the nearest police station. You don't want to get picked up by police trying to make the drive back by 5:00 p.m.

If you re-kindle the relationship with this psycho.........then I simply gotta question your sanity as well. Good Luck OP.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/14/2012 1:57:20 PM

Is she just trying to be controlling by letting you know when you can and can't have sex?


She hasn't been sexually intimate with you, so how is she controlling you in any way?.....and after how many dates do you expect her to have sex with you?

If she were my daughter, I would advise her to stay away from men who are highly manipulative. Your basically saying that your going to have sex with other women until she decides to have sex with you, and that's no guarantee of a relationship beyond an intimate encounter, but it might guarantee her of an STD and/or an unwanted pregnancy. If she's smart, she will tell you to pack up your pistol and keep a safe distance of at least 1 mile from her, before she decides to get her own pistol and a large can of RAID for pesky and diseased insects.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What would you do?
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:24:09 PM
OP.........I can't believe you actually need help from us forumites with this complete dilemna of yours. If you actually need helping making a decision about this...................well, I gotta wonder how you made it to the age that you currently are.

You ever hear of "male gold-diggers"..............because if you need that explained too, I'm just not going to waste my time and I would rather take my dog out for a walk.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Do weddings make you jealous?
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:07:17 AM
Nahhhh.........not jealous at all. But, I'll bet the divorce lawyers keep records of all the weekly wedding announcements and they sit back, grin and say to themselves.....Yup, they will be coming to see me in about 5 to 10 years.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 418 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/11/2012 4:34:07 AM
Alllrighteeeeee then.....some guys get it and some don't, it all boils down to the boundaries that each man and/or woman has set for themselves. I can totally appreciate that some men just don't know when there is a green light to flirt and open up the lines of communication to ask for a date with a woman. The simple fact of the matter is that every woman is going to be different about this in just the same ways the every man is going to different about when he wants to be bothered and when he doesn't.

Here's an example that most of you might understand. After I divorced, I continued to wear my wedding/engagement rings so I could concentrate on jump starting my career and not have to worry about men hitting on me. Now, one would think that a wedding ring worn on the left hand would send a clear message to all men that she was not on the prowl for other men. WRONG AGAIN, the rings should have been a red light, but to a few it was a green light at my place of work.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 405 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/10/2012 12:58:00 PM

..maybe u should wear a nametag..'dont bother me cause i'm a biotch'..lol..


Now why is it, that when a man can't get what he wants from a woman?.....he labels her a biotch. Do those guys have some entitlement issues that need to be addressed by a psychologist. How about us ladies start calling you guys "biotches" when you want something from us? The next time a guy asks me for something, I might just say in a very firm voice, "NO, YAH BIOTCH." lol, lol
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/10/2012 12:44:18 PM
Where do I feel it's okay to be approached by a man?.........................well, right here on Plenty Of Fish. This is still a dating website the last time I checked.........yet we hear about numerous women who send e-mails and never get any replies. Orrrrr, they do get e-mails...........with the standard, "What's Up" or "HI" as though that could unleash a whole ice-breaking conversation. When you do say hello back, many times you won't get another e-mail back.

Anyway, another good place to approach women are social events.......weddings, engagement parties, retirement parties, local social events, community association events. Heck, I met a great guy at a polling station and we are still friends............we like to talk about politics.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How Long
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:15:24 PM

In popular culture, the word "love" is bandied around like cans of coca cola, and the words "I love you" have been cheapened so much that they are almost worthless.


^^^^^Very well stated^^^^.

If you respect and value the person that you want to hear the "I Love You" words from.................how ever long it takes is how long I'll wait. But you can have a lot of fun together in between that time.

My husband said the "I Love You" words after we divorced. We were married for 18 years...............is that too long, you be the judge.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 385 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:55:19 PM

Some of you women need to get over yourselves: has it ever occured to you that the guy you think was "hitting on you", was just being friendly? Of course not, because you're the only hot girl in the world, and if a guy talks to you, it must be because he wants to pick you up.


JUST BEING FRIENDLY, you say..........in my personal experience, anyone who stops me while I'm exercising wants SOMETHING. Sure, maybe the guy is just lonely in a gym of maybe 30 to 50 other people that he could be talking to and why doesn't he just go talk to another guy or bring a guy friend along with him to the gym, and they can chat away all day without exercising. They could bring along some beer and turn it into a freaking social event if gym management gave it's approval............in which case they could also supply the beer nuts, cheese or other snackies.

On the other hand, maybe he just wants to know what exercises I did to get my nice, plump and rounded buns of steel. As far as me being the only hot girl in the world, you don't really wanna know when the last time was that I was hot.
Alright, I'll tell yah.............it was yesterday, when the darn air conditioning stopped working.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Why does Society look down there nose and people who remain single
Posted: 7/3/2012 10:20:59 PM

so when is it going to be my turn


It's the age old question from family and relatives and usually asked at the traditional wedding. You could always reply with something humorous.................like, when it's finally my turn, you will be the first to know.

It's social and religious conditioning............some believe that you can't be completely happy and lead a fulfilling life unless we are all married and have 2.3 children. Others think that if your single, your a selfish person and for some already married people............Misery Enjoys Company!
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 921 (view)
 
Can culture advance without religion?
Posted: 6/29/2012 4:26:18 PM

Only if they are mature enough to know the difference.


and the right kind of knowledge and wisdom to go with that difference.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 262 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:41:29 AM

I was using that as an example of what not to say! Which the end of the comment clearly states. The man who says that to me better have already spent time in my bed or he will get an earful or an evil glare depending on my mood.


O.K.....now I understand what you mean't and I agree, but you weren't entirely clear in your original post as to whether you were already spending time in your/his bed already. In your previous post you said, in a relationship which does not necessarily mean they were already saddled up and riding the white ligtning together in her/his bed or in the gym clubs' parking lot.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 254 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/29/2012 9:03:32 AM

Hey sexy, you look sexy etc. You need to be sleeping with me before those comments are okay.


Are you freaking serious, that kind of comment coming from a stranger is just plain crude. I'll bet my last dollar that if a stranger said that to YOUR 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER in a gym.........you just might think differently about that. A father or a mother working out in a gym with their daughter might have a few very well selected words that they might want to say to that particular stranger.....and I doubt the words would be pleasant and most certainly there wouldn't be a lot of smiling going on.


Most women like attention even when they protest

How do you know that?? Have you taken a census for what most women like? If they are protesting, it's because they DON'T LIKE IT. That's like saying.........all men like to be bothered by their wives at their work and while on job, even if they protest.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 226 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/28/2012 11:04:10 PM

If you don't want to be approached, no smile, no eye-contact.


I think this is very good advice.......I know some people smile when they feel uncomfortable, but by smiling.....a stranger in the gym may see it as a further invitation and by saying thank you......it sends the message that the woman appreciated his stupid and inappropriate comment and would appreciate another stupid comment in the near future.

When a stranger comes up to a woman in a public gym and says, "I like your body".........what do you suppose it means:

(a) He hopes to get a bit of action with that great body at some point in the near future.
(b) He hopes to tone himself up, so he can look just like her.
(c) He's targeted her for further oggling and sneak peaks.
(d) He's having a sexual re-assignment surgery and wants his measurements to be the same as hers.

As far as people being sexually abused.......... yah, I'd say your dealing with a good chunk of the population who have been sexually abused by other people giving them unwanted sexual attention. Let's take for example.......oh let me see, how about Theo Fleury, the famous Canandian hockey player who wrote a book about his experience as a child with his sexual predator hockey coach. I'll bet Theo's coach said the same thing to him as a young child....Hey, I Like Your Body. Writing the book WAS Theo Fleury's therapy, as well watching the old coach roast in the judicial system was even better therapy.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 152 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:13:59 AM

The problem with many women is they just don't see how rude and batchy they appear to many guys. . which is why so many guys . . heterosexuals with strong sex drives, have so much contempt for so many women.


O.K.....one last comment and then I really need to get my exercise for the day.

If a heterosexual guy has a strong sex drive.............how the hell is that my problem and don't bother trying to make it my problem, after all I'm not married to you and I don't even know you. Bottom line is that your just a stranger on the internet and on POF's website which is the correct place to be, if you want to meet a woman. I don't really want to get to know you either.............so you can continue to have as much contempt for me as you like.

TOODLES........I'm off for my workout, so don't bother me anymore.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 150 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/28/2012 7:04:49 AM

However, his crime is NOT that he walked up and talked to you, his crime is that he couldn't find or didn't know the right words unlock your Heart...


Well wanderer1999........your post above is absolutely poetic IMO.

Except, in this particular situation and IMO as a realist........the guy is a sexual predator who really doesn't give hoot about what's in her heart or the thoughts that are sloshing around in her brain. Lets be brutally honest, the only thing his ill-chosen comments are trying to do is unlock what's between her legs. Some to most women do not enjoy being treated like objects of sexual pleasure................in fact, it just pisses most women right off. In this case the OP just smiled at the guy and walked away, because she thought he was a complete doofus.

If he really wanted to unlock her heart.....he might have said something like, what is your favorite exercise equipment for a good cardio workout or do you think diet plays a very big role in fitness and health. Saying anything with some with some kind of intelligence would have been a lot better than what he choose to say.

Anyway, I'm bored with this tedious thread.........so I'm off to take my dog for a walk.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/28/2012 5:55:46 AM

I know you want to be left alone, but thats how it is. Men are hardwired to try to mate with any attractive female they see, at any time, at any place. PERIOD.


According to the quote above and stated in message #155 by a man....................all men are sexual predators.


No darlite, i think being polite is being decent. I think being rude is rude and evidence of a biatch. Your homosexual analogy is just dumb.


My analogy is dumb, eh.............is that why so many homosexual men have been beaten up by heterosexual men who were just being a bunch of biatches. So, if a homosexual man gives you a compliment.....you should just say thank you and don't be a biatch about it either. If a straight man feels threatened by gay man, why can't you appreciate the fact that some women feel threatened by a straight man who is also a stranger and a sexual predator, according to the first quote in my post.

My daughter is employed at a gym and her and her husband go there to work out a few evenings a week. They both don't like being bothered by anyone when they are working out, not even each other............I believe it's called courtesy. It's the same reason as when you go into a Library...........the Librarian will tell you to be quiet and if that fails he/she may also tell you to shut the f*** up or leave the premises.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:38:40 PM

Under most circumstances, a compliment, even if not communicated in the best of manners, is not something to get upset about. I think women who get upset about those communications are biatches and I personally would never have wanted to date one. Decent women would say thank you and then go about her business, not make a big deal about a guy being a guy . . in a gym of all places.


If a gay man gives a heterosexual man a nice compliment about his body and his nice, tight buttocks.....he should just say thank you and then go about his business, not make a big deal about a guy being a guy....in a gym of all places. I think that a heterosexual man who gets upset about those kind of communications are just being biatches and I personally would never date one. After all decent men should just say thank you and don't be a biatch about it.

Don't you think by saying Thank You............it's like encouraging more unwanted attention. If not, then please feel free to take one for the boys.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 7:13:07 PM

I would turn the OP's question around. Why do women think men should never say anything to them at the gym?


Some of the men still don't get it...............let me see if I can explain this in the simplest terms as possible. It is not that women don't think men should ever say anything to them at the gym. It is their sexually harassing comments, stares and gestures.

For example, if another man came up to another man in the gym and said.......I like your body or I like your plump round buttocks or your curves, you would most likely want to punch his lights out if you are a heterosexual man. If another man was oggling at another man in a sexual way........you would most likely want to punch his lights out.
If you wouldn't say it to another man, what makes men think it's o.k. to say stuff like that to a woman and what makes men think women should have to put up with that kind of behavior from men at a public gym.

If yah can't get the gist of what the OP is trying to say...............give me the address of your gym and I will send my GAY male friend over to give you a little lesson in humiliation and proper etiquette.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 5:37:28 PM
Fortunately, I have my own exercise equipment at home and don't need to pay for monthly gym fees.......which can be extremely costly over 5 years. In your own home you can exercise wearing your thonged tights, lulu lemons or go completely nekked if you so desire and you can enjoy your workout without some sexual predator calculating his next move that might ruin your day.

Unfortunately those same sexual predator men raise their sons to be just like them.........so there are never a shortage of idiots to contend with. It would be a much better place on the planet if fathers would just teach their sons how to act like gentlemen, especially around women.

When I take my dog out for a walk............I dress like the local "bag lady" so me and my dog get a pretty good work out together without being bugged by the idiots in the dog park.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 3:46:49 PM
Steve Harvey wrote a really stupid book entitled, "Act Like a Lady, But Think Like a Man."

Well somebody needs to write another really stupid book and call it, "Act Like a Gentleman, But Think Like a Woman."

But here's a little tip for men who want to act like gentlemen............most women enjoy a nice compliment about their bodies/physique from people that they have known for a while, especially if they trust that person's judgement and respect their opinion. In this case the compliment came from a complete stranger, which makes a woman feel uncomfortable, on guard or possibly even feeling threatened.........not knowing if the guy is a whacko, a rapist, a serial killer or just a guy with a poor choice of comments to open up the lines of communication to a woman he may be interested in as a potential date/girlfriend or lover.

Women think like this............Oh, he's giving me a nice compliment about my body, so what does he really want, probably and most likely sex. If you really want to strike up a conversation with a woman in a gym, try sticking with the theme of your surroundings like talking about your favorite exercise equipment in the gym or special diet requirements to boost energy levels. It's how a gentleman would approach the situation. I can't even tell you when the last time was that I actually met a gentleman, it's been that long. POF has it's fair share of idiots too, like the ones that ask you for sex asap and before you even meet in person for a freaking cup of coffee.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 2:03:26 PM

If she smiles my way or winks my way, I know what she wants, as such I test my luck.


Well Capn America.......you do have a good sense of humor, I gotta give you that. But in this particular situation at the gym, an inappropriate comment was made by an ungentlemanly type male to a lady working out at the gym.

When that happened, she SMILED and walked away. So when a woman SMILES, she either thinks your an idiot or she thinks your kinda cute. My question would be.........do you really want to risk finding out what she really thinks.
Buwah ha ha haw!!!
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 10:03:52 AM

Good to exercise well and eat low-cal high nutrition foods. Try adopting an indifferent but I'm OK - You're OK attitude instead of tryin to act like a b* wherever you go...


I believe the OP tried that approach by smiling and walking away from his inappropriate comments to a woman he had never met and in a public place. In fact, she was non-combative and well-mannered and very lady like in her handling of the situation. The I'm OK-You're OK attitude doesn't work on men who don't know how to act like gentlemen.

However, if he approaches her again with more of the inappropriate comments.........I would highly recommend she knee punch him in the groin..............now that's being a biatch and it certainly would be some real biatching pain for him to contend with. I'm not sure that those type of men ever learn how to act gentlemanly towards women in a public place.


Like it or not there is a certain amount of attention seeking going on by women at the gym and when they are not getting the kind of attention they want then they complain - sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. Yes it is wrong for guys to make unwelcome advances but dressing sexy at the gym is going to attract some of that.


Every man has his own individual and personal idea of what dressing sexy is...............it's not the same for every man. My friend was told that she would look sexy in a floor length burlap sack dress, because she was blessed with a great looking body. What the hell are us women to do?................should we all start wearing Burkas too.
When the hell are you men going to GET IT??..............a sexual predator is a SEXUAL PREDATOR and there is nothing gentlemanly about a sexual predator. Give me a break, please...........don't you blokes have mothers, sisters and young daughters that have to listen to your clap-trap crap!!!
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 6:59:19 AM

This man told me today "I see you come here a lot, I like the way you workout, I like the way your body looks". I smiled and walked away.
Isn't there proper gym etiquette?


Yes, there is proper gym etiquette for men and the rule is........if you wouldn't say it to another man that you don't really know, then you shouldn't say it to a woman that you don't really know.

If a man said the above quote to another man.........he would be "creeped out" and might be tempted to punch his lights out. The OP choose to smile and walk away, which was very lady like of her or she could have kicked him in the groin, just to kick-start the brain in his head.

Some men just don't know which brain should do his thinking for him, LOL.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 6/27/2012 6:13:48 AM
I would try saying, "Thank You, but I'm here to work out and I'm not here to make new friends or find a new lover."

I have found that when speaking to men, you have to be extremely clear about what you expect and what you don't expect............even then, some of them just don't get it or choose to persist with their very rude and obnoxious behavior.

If he persists, speak to management about any further harassing behavior from one of their patrons and if it continues..................there are anti-stalking laws to deal with those obsessive, compulsive types. You have just as much right to make use of a gym facility and the gymnasium management may have to make a choice as to whose membership will be cancelled. If he is bothering you, then for certain............he is probably bothering other women who choose to work out at that facility.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
How to tell roommate his girlfriend is over too much?
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:21:31 AM

You can even take it a step further and introduce the creep factor by hinting that it turns you on and you would like them to be louder.... That would put an end to them doing it at your place... LOL


That's hilarious..........but yah know it's probably true too and worth giving it a go.

Other than that.......I would talk to my room-mate in private and let him know that you feel confined to your room and are lacking privacy in the rest of the apartment. How many bathrooms are in the apartment and are they hogging the bathroom all the time too? They could go to her place or go get a motel/hotel room if they don't want to be at her place. How about asking her to pay 1/3 of the rent if she's going to be there 4 days a week, it's a bit excessive IMO.

When I was much younger, I ran into this problem all the time with room-mates........so I got my own place with no room-mates. Lots of privacy and you can walk around nekked if you want to and without exciting or offending anyone..........just remember to close up the window coverings.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Whatever happen to the sweet and innocent girl?
Posted: 6/26/2012 8:30:18 AM
Good grief, sweet and innocent girls grow up and become mature women who have to live in the real world of creeps and bums and sexual predators. Are you looking for girls or mature women?? Yah silly YETTI.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Dating while pregnant
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:09:11 AM
If you a truly finished grieving for your boyfriend........then I see nothing wrong with dating again. You can't spend your whole entire life grieving and by dating, it might help you move on a little more with your own life. But, now here is the big BUT........there aren't too many men or people in general who want to share your grief, especially if they didn't know your boyfriend as well.

I went to grievance counselling when my bro passed away........because it took me literally years to get over loosing him. Some people can move on with their life quicker than others and there is no right or wrong way to grieve for the loss of a loved one.

Be happy, stay well and take care of you.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 209 (view)
 
Divorced? Would you re-marry?
Posted: 5/21/2012 1:03:09 PM
Oh why oh why do love and marriage always have to go together. Yah say it's just like a horse and carriage............yah right, just like every horse is hot on the trail for a carriage to pull around.

If he really flat out insisted on marriage.........I'd consider it if I just couldn't function without him in my life and his companionship truly made me happy. I would hope he would have some really good reasons for wanting to get married, because at the moment I can't think of one.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 247 (view)
 
Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 5/21/2012 12:45:34 PM
Guys should initiate the date and the relatonship because I can't couldn't handle the rejection if HE said NO.........and besides I'd rather suffer in silence if he didn't initiate the date and relationship, after all my flirtatious comments and gestures.

Men seem to be better at sucking up the rejection than I am..........so that takes care of that silly question.

Another very good reason for men to initiate the date and relationsip is that women have to do everything else, so the good old boys really need to be assigned something to do. Oh cry me a river...wah, wah, wah. I'll be in charge of initiating the sex games...I think that's a fair deal!!
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Is the new Independent woman really interested in guys
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:22:49 PM
Today's woman has a greater sense of self-worth than the more traditional woman was given given credit for 50+ years ago. Of course, they don't want to treated badly like some of their mothers were......is there an issue with wanting to be treated with respect?

As far as the word independent goes...........is there really anyone who is truly independent out there? We are all interdependent on each other in our society. It's just another one of those "buzz words" in our current language lingo and I prefer to think that women have become more self-reliant versus independent, should unforeseen circumstances arise. Women are still interested in men as their partners in life.......they just want a more balanced lifestyle and a better balance in managing the demands on their time.
 
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