Orgasm does not make good sex!

And for those of you who think sex is such a small thing that total compatibility doesn’t matter, well, your wrong. Sex is a huge deal!

So meet someone, talk a bit, go out a couple times and then f*ck them!

Why the hell is my entire family pissed at me for not being for child abuse? Has the entire world gone ****ing nuts? I must be the only sane one alive.

my newest restriction is....men who have ever been in a relationship with a "non working" woman....is OUT!!! LOL!

there were WOMEN posting that any men who are NOT white collar CEO'S (alpha males) then they (those NON CEO men) are lousy lovers, and incapable of having a quality relationship.

see that you are the post commander of this thread, you have taken it to "all about money and finances."

Let's get back to that topic at hand. Love...quality of life.

"and who pays" portion of the thread topic.

LOL! well, I can help you out there...as I've seen several of his pics...and I'd stick $20 bills in his G-string any day of the week! LOL! dirty old woman that I am!

LOL! Yes, indeed; I did TURN DOWN that weekend on the yacht....LOL! in favor of going to the Indy 500!

things that money CAN NOT buy....like....RESPECT.

No, actually, anyone with a modicum of intelligence realizes that debate, whether formal or informal employs the use "inoculation" against such dramatizations, thus proving them ineffectual and unreliable.

Like your assumption that my husband was every humiliated. LOL! Good little Baptist wife that you are....NO, No husband is emasculated by having the epitiome of the Proverbs: 31:10-31 "virtuous woman"

well, quite obviously, you and I are interested in 2 totally different kinds of men

Well, I suppose that that sea air has damaged your reading ability.…

I guess that makes well over 75% of us very trivial (picayune).
Credit goes Splendere for supplying those labels.

I had clearly stated that "my households combined income was almost TRIPLE of the national average....@($138,726).

I bow to your very superior earning capacity.…

Even though this wasn't addressed to me and I don't have a lavish lifestyle, I found that comment offensive on so many levels that I need to put in my two cents.

And so the men that women are with that earn less than the women are ???? Ohhhh its only women who date men with a higher income that are considered to be living their trashy Harlequin lives.

Yep .... we are the gold diggers. The women who have and do make more than their SO's are better women. I agree.

On a side note as a person that was a medical professional, I got somewhat close to my patients, depending on how much time I spent with them, and how often I had to X ray them... I met a life time bachelors that had regrets about not having a person to grow old with.

They wondered what it would have been to have had children, and if perhaps their life would feel so empty…

Doctors and surgeons work extreme hours, it's very hard for them to go out and find multiple women UNLESS they're very popular and or handsome. Of course most of them choose the "marriage" route, as in "in-house puvvy" They have to buy the COW, other wise they're not getting any.…

Indiscriminate? That's a big word

Believe it or not, we're heck a lot more careful and selective than you'll ever going to be. I am 30 yrs old,

That car oh so you're proud of... that's a old folk's jag... hope you know it.

Things are changing old lady. Move aside. Nobody is buying your marriage BS anymore.... nobody but idiots and losers. People with options don't need to settle. It's losers like you or your surgeon needs to close the deal otherwise you're not getting any…

I've never read so much verbal diarrhea in one sitting.

OMFG!!!!!!! *my sides are gonna split* in your dreams sweetheart I just like calling you on your bullchit because you make it all so easy. oh my god please make it stop.

successful men in their 50's going with 20 year olds.......you better start taking some tips loverboy...…

Men who get hung up on money, on who pays for what, are angry and resentful. It comes out in all areas of their lives.

I understand. You want a rich guy who gladly spends money on you,~x file~

though not directly~x~,

for then it will be obvious of what the transaction is, but indirectly via a "lavish lifestyle".~x~

My apology in advance if I'm wrong, but a you sound like a special type of a well disguised gold-digger. In one sense, kudos to you!~x~

doubt you would do what your friend is doing. I doubt you will include a man in your "lavish lifestyle". ~x~

You want nothing to do with a man who worries about money, which pretty much leaves only "rich guys" or I should say, "wealthy guys",~x~

who almost always have their own 'lavish lifestyle" and therefore you never have to include them in yours, assuming you have one.~x~

LOL! I think we can safely write off those stories as fantasies dreamed in an attempt to make the men here with "average" incomes feel insecure. (NOTE: I'm sure they were smart enough to catch onto that without being told it was a set up)~granny boo hoo~

There are chicks like me out here that get PISSED about it too cause I've never had a man give me SQUAT but love.

Splender these men are the men that get it, that they are willing to give as much as they want to take... These professionals have realize which I posted before on this thread, get jobs, and move ahead because they are married, which gives them the appearance at least that they stable...

They also enjoy the other perks that these embittered men haven't found, because they went chasing looks and bodies verses full compatibility, as well as being in a give and take relationship.

Yes.

Interesting.
I guess that's good news for all the princesses waiting for their rich prince.…

Through their early 30s, economically disadvantaged adults actually are more likely to marry than advantaged adults.

By age 35, other statistics show that the fractions ever married are virtually the same across education groups.

That maybe the case among old folks. Certainly not young professionals.~BadMonkey~

In my circle, only losers with nothing to lose marry. Or the losers who can't get a woman whenever they want.~B Monkey~

Last thing I want is to ruin my life with a kid. There is no room for a kid in my life.~ B Monkey~

Women are dime a dozen, ~Monkey~

Of the 5,400 or so mammal species, only 3% of them mate for life - humans aren't one of them. Needless to say, with several hundred thousand years of biology working against the premise of marriage, its a small wonder that someone ever gets married let alone stays married.

Of course not....
It's less than 3% of his monthly income.

AND, he's more than likely got himself set up as a corporation where he can set up entertaining as a business expense and offset that against what he pays in income tax.

I would still never want to place myself in a position to become financially dependent on anyone but myself....
especially if a split ever occurred.

why would it be wrong, (not talking 6 figure salaries or Wall Street here, just normal folks, lol) for the higher earner in a couple to say "Let's just stay in tonight" because they know their partner either can't afford, or would feel uncomfortable, with going out?

What correlation is there between being desirable and eligible, to wanting to be married?

Is that to imply men who don't want marriage are NOT desirable or eligible?

Are you implying the more money a guy makes the more likely he is to be married?...…

if so, that stance seems to undermine what many women claim marriage is about.

You can debate it all you want, but the bottom line is that if marriage and the 'woman' in question, were all that, that they are cracked up to be, men would be tripping over themselves instead of being reluctant, to marry women.

Sorry I had to throw in the insurmountable obstacle of "honest evaluation" for a number of the women.…

I've always found one-sided relationships where I was the only (or main) one footing the bill and pulling my weight to be exhausting, and when it was expected of me, I grew resentful and felt I was being taken for granted.

What do you base this on ?

Men who know they want a woman in their life and are prepared to be open, loving, generous, sexual, caring and giving of themselves. THAT my friends is what a REAL man is to me.

If a man or woman really want a relationship and want it to grow TOGETHER they will find a way to make the OTHER partner feel that they are as valuable as themselves. The fact that there are those who would date a man or woman and be in a different financial position would rather SHOW the under earner that because of them, and their inability to earn more money that going out to a gala would be passed by and more fun to watch paint dry.

If a man did that to me ... I would be flashing by him so fast that he won't know where I grew those roadrunner legs ...

I'm sure no one who was married or gave an SO access to an account and lost money because of it thought going in it would be a rotten idea.

I was merely trying to make you realize how idiotic it is to imply that anyone should do anything because everyone else does it.

In any case, you have not answered any of the questions posted in my rebuttal either,

I know I need to just let go, bc if I don't do it, it will stay like it is right now for who knows how long. He has too many issues to work through and not only doesn't have a great opinion of women (we're all apparently psychos) but never ever wants children.

In my country, you choose a mate, you struggle together~blackrabb~

Now, apparently you didn't get the memo that you need to choose a man by what he has, and for what he can provide for you. You don't have to be with any man who has any warts at all.

Why does OP have to struggle for his serious debts?

Right and just look at how well all of those turn out right? maybe not the best example... plus, I don't think it's ever wise to say "do something because all the celebrities are doing it!", we would all be doing coke, steroids and making false promises if that was the case.~ron~

I am a food snob (sorry, it is just true).

I have never dated a lady who had the food interest that I do. I can cook.... I mean... I really can cook.

I don't mind being the cook of the house, but the notion of a lady cooking with me is kind of sexy, sensual... erm... kind of a dream.

I would rather lift up my skirt to show him my pair of legs and if he is not leg man, then I'll bent a little to show him my pair of tits ,then I will catch him with my big net catcher... but if he is not a leg man ,I'll show him my azz ,and I'll smack his head to be enterested in Tits& Azz..~vannill~

so in my determination of their reality they want to be d*ckless men.~mentor~

I guess I was just curious about this topic because I've always been told that if a man truly, totally LOVES you, that he will marry you, no questions out. And if he avoids it, he might be happy, but in love.

I wonder if any of you met your "dream girl", the anxieties would go out the window and you would get married anyway.

Awww....Splendere...

Why do you think I don't indulge in sex right away?

What are women doing that made him feel he could say something like that to me initially?

ladies, do you bring out the good men

Verity does not tell it like it really is. He tells it like the way he sees it...like most people on here....including you.

Like I always say...is it working for you...or him?

I do try to give a taste of real life in these forums.

I can spot a clown a thousand miles away, no matter what make up/disguise they're hiding behind...

Even over an internet connection.

you're basically calling me a liar

whilst not putting my opinions or judgements down peoples throats

If we look back at the condemnation against women throughout history, we may just come to realize that women and men are evolutionally wired in the exact same way when it comes to sex…the changes started to become apparent when women were made to suppress their sexuality. Decades of suppression caused women to lose touch of their true sexuality, their desires their passion their strength….which created a sense of guilt…this guilt than became the root of requiring the ‘emotional attachment’ before or even after having sex ….”

Women, don't ever try to go against the nature period

I know enough about men to realize they enjoy and respond to being approached and I have enough confidence and self-esteem that a "No, thank you" isn't going to crush me or bring me to tears.

That's just a bunch of 1950's mentality right there. "A good woman does (this)", "A good woman doesn't do (that)".

I am 55 yrs. young. A long time ago women did not pursue men. That's just something we were taught when young.

You also have very many men who feel they have to make the first move when it comes to all the sexual advances, even during a lt, or they'd never get any. Do you think there's any correlation?

However unfair it might seem, I hold to the belief that SINCE we live in a world in which certain gendered expectations HAVE existed and haven’t just DISAPPEARED (at least among my generation where I live), that a man’s unwillingness to ask someone out for the first time DOES carry with it different meaning than a woman’s unwillingness to do so.

There is NO tradition inhibiting men in this way as has been the case of women until VERY recently.

In my days we entice a man with our smile,food

The trick for a fellow is to know which one you are dealing with. If the female you are interested in is a girl, jump up from the sandbox and instead of running away play tag. If she is a woman then chase her and make her feel special, and eventually make her realize that she got you by simple luck. If she is a lady then you better just be yourself because that is who she picked and you were never really happy playing the game with the girls or women anyway.~cdbergerac~

So he's in debt, you're sneaky, the two of you cannot converse & you are on a dating site bad mouthing your man. Money is not the issue of your problems

Sweetheart, you're supposed to be looking out for yourself, and to find love and happiness.

Now, apparently you didn't get the memo that you need to choose a man by what he has, and for what he can provide for you. You don't have to be with any man who has any warts at all.

I'd be interested to hear the comments and criticisms from the women, on a post made by a woman, who feels the same about her "money" as many men do, which is, "what's mine is mine, what's yours is yours", and not wanting someone who is going to freeload and benefit from the other's spoils.~Verity~

It matters to me what a man does for a living and how much he makes.

I have dated men who are blue collar or not at my financial level. Never works. The friends are different, the circles are different.

So tired of men and the goldiggers comments. That is so 1950.

I have my own business, own my home, make good money and have a good lifestyle. I am not interested in a man who does not share that lifestyle.

I don't want to have to worry about money, constantly negotiate who pays what because the incomes are so unequal.

A successful man is always more attractive than one who isn't.

I felt it was an important and vital responsibility to be in the position of a stay-at-home wife and mother.

Now, there are many moms who'd give their left arm to be able to raise their own children but can't because of economic reasons.

most men in real life are laughing their asses off at the effeminate men who can't make a nickel~savanno~.

Enjoy the dump you live in, enjoy bragging about how money is not important to you, enjoy posting all day ... and enjoy the first of the month when you get your welfare cheque.
Most men on here aren't puzzie whipped, they are puzzie wishing ... wishing someone, anyone would date them and get them up to the next stage in life. Out of the basement appt~savonna~.

The men on here only complain because most of the women aren't interested in MOST not all but lets just say the vast majority of you men~savanno~.

But this is derailing from the topic of the OP about the sense of entitlement, the double standards, and increased focus on "materialism" vs character and personality, observed in female mate selection, in contrast to the males.~verityone~

You started the thread and wanted everyone to discuss your question. If you can't suffer what you don't like or can't learn to better one from others, you should keep quiet and don't try to get attention from everyone.~ahappygal~

but I've yet to see anyone request that "you keep quiet"?

OP, I find your smug attitude quite amusing and it really gives your youth and inexperience away!
If you're friends are awed by your self discipline, I suggest they get out more and stop being so easily impressed.

Can I say this? The first time my S/O met me he said this (among other things)..."I want to lay you down right now, pull your shorts off and put my mouth between your thighs and lick them all the way to.." You get the idea?

Since then, it has been everything from ripping each other's clothes off before the door even closes to clothes strewn from room to room. He is a bit more passionate than I am and he is raw sexuality. Anywhere and anytime. I thrive on this and I respond to him like I have never done with anyone else. Orgasms? Plenty.

This man now wants to get married. He says he sees growing old with me.

Not bad going for a woman of 40. 1 true love, and one that got away.

I shall ignore your attempt at a rally,, my tennis allusion seemed to hit the mark. Job done.

You say you dont belieive I never had sex without love?

The confusion seems to stem from not realizing that it's not so much the "sex" part that is releasing the "emotions", but the feelings of trust, openness, vulnerability that naturally must be present in order to have "sex".
It's a fallacy to conclude that the only way these can be present, is within the confines of a committed relationship.

alli oop your comment of >>> I think think the u.s gov. is thankful anytime they can get a new pawn no matter the age. good luck to you.

That kinda tells people specially me a man who served proudly in the military mainly the Army and who has three brothers / sister & Aunt who retired from the Army that you have very little respect for the military.

your subsequent speculation, are irrelevant.

slightly effeminate looking tennis coaches, who seem to need to prove their manliness to make up for their rather feminine facial features, and a proffession which screams ' Lothario of a proffessional kind'

the day when some guy is banging your daughter for recreational sex.

I need a beer.

Am I crazy?

Getting orders from a younger man isnt a big deal for me, we are all getting older so things like this will happen soon or later, no matter what you do for a living.

Doing stuff is exciting. It's memory-building. It's living life! It's a conversation starter. It helps to really get to know how someone interacts with the world as opposed to how they THINK they interact with the world. It helps to reveal their likes, their dislikes, their personality.

I'm quick to like someone. I'm happy spending time with her. Why must I give her something so I could just get to know her?

Guys like you want company and affection but want to put no effort into it.

If you are happy doing nothing...............Do it by YOURSELF!
Or get a golden labrador, oh wait! they also want to go out! Never mind.

For first meetings, I dont know why guys think it's a good idea to bring a lady to an isolated area like a path in the woods (where no one can hear you scream) or invite them to your place.

I wish men would *think* and *TRY* to be more considerate of a woman's security!

Thats the thing I dont have issue's. Its just I thought I was ready for the dating world. But just carrying an conversation with a guy still freaks me out.

but for mail to be unread month after month,

I am starting to wonder if there are a lot of false profiles on this site.

I had 2 ongoing FWB a while back with 2 woman who happened to be acquaintances. Yes they didn't know about the FWB until I mentioned it to one. She was furious that I was "sleeping" with someone else all this time.

Not my fault that she got emotionally connected.

IMO/IME most people that are in FWB aren't really in FWB. They aren't looking for it, they happen to fall into it because they simply want to avoid any responsibility, commitment, risk, or conflict in their life. Like when 8 year old's pretend they are married.
IOW people like to objectify and use other people, and then say "whoa, I am just looking for a FWB." FWB becomes an excuse, a rationalization, a justification, not a proper definition of the relationship.

Imagine we live in a time where you could design your perfect mate

Downside: he/she is a robot - an amazingly lifelike robot, but still at heart - well, she/he has no heart.

I have always wondered how much of what men put up with is proportional to the amount of sex they get, and I think that more sex means more allowances for women being crazy.

Measuring one's worth by societies standards is no way to live one's life,

I've never had a long term relationship with a woman who has had sex with me very early on... basic reasons are I don't think she would have changed her dating style for ME

A lot of women view having sex with a man as "giving" him a gift,

I GAVE myself to you

if I get to the point of giving myself to a man - I want a realtionship,

But a woman who has the "expectation" that I'll invest "emotionally" and commit to a "sexual relationship" before I know very well and good what I can expect "sexually", has very unrealistic "expectations".
In that context, the woman in question offends me by thinking I'm stupid enough to sign up for that deal.
And she'll get no respect for thinking that I'm stupid.

I'm short several years from 30, but I got a mind of an 800 years old.

By "not ruled by sex" I mean women who like sex but don't choose their partner ONLY for sex. Real women choose their man based on sex BUT ALSO because of higher vitreous vitreous - like courage, wisdom, kindness, justice,

Does Sex Change How you feel ?

I need an insight, I really don't know what to do.

she mentioned how guilty she feels cuz she talked me out of getting that contract

one of the first times we hung out, he mentioned one of his best girl friends and said she was so cool that he "wanted to marry her someday."

A wise and older girlfriend of mine said to me that, "Men need to feel needed."

He said it was sad but true

I am getting very worried. Should I go by his house to check on him? Call his home?

I've tried the blunt aproach

when I ask for a repeat they go "are you serious?"

I'm not doing anything wronge... except maybe being too eager...

Should I be more demanding right from the start?

I like my man to work for it

More so then not I take over... so I dont see why he would be exhausted..

are there actually guys out there that can go 2-3 times in one night??

I don't see the point of endless messages back and forth within PoF. What is the happy medium?

What is the prevailing wisdom about who should be offering their number first; male or female?

Is it safer to give your home phone or cell phone?

what are people's responses to someone's immediate request to use Yahoo or AOL Instant Messaging (don't we have that option within PoF?) and using their personal email?

advice from male or female would be much appreciated. I want to meet new people and take basic safety precautions.

As shallow and terrible as it sounds, I wish there was a way to just know what a man had going on downstairs without coming across as easy or slutty.

That is why what your are doing is ad hominen. You cannot argue the topic and my stance on it with and credible empirical evidence or with logic, ~Ismene~

Statistics. Look at the statistics for where you live.

Statistics on violent crime, on gun violence, on other reasons that put people at risk. Figure out how much danger you are actually in. Realize there is more chance you will be killed in your car driving to work than by someone with a gun.

Are you going to give up your car and start taking the bus because it is safer?

Realize there is more chance you will be killed in your car driving to work than by someone with a gun.

How do you know about the deflect criminal activity? I mean if you live in a neighborhood and your neighbors know you have a gun, this info gets around,some would be burglars hear this info and say well we better not break into the Jones's they have a gun, ...these types of things happen all the time and no Police report is filed so all of your statistics really don't reflect the true effectiveness of Gun ownership…

I passed weird a long ways back and have become so convoluted and strange in my approach to frustration that the shock of intimacy would probably fry all of my circuits and render me daft. The adaptation has thoroughly estranged me from normalcy.

I disagree...I talk to my dog...all the time. It is when it becomes a dialog...…~revilors~