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gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Common to feel a little depressed even if Dissolution your Idea? Posted: 10/11/2009 8:30:19 AM
it is common indeed. no matter how bad a relationship was, there were some good things in the mix as well. i too find myself wishing that things might have been a bit different or that i might have been more patient at times. if it comes to the point of dissolution, its still best to get it over with , pick up the pieces and move on; hopefully having learned something from the experience and use that knowledge to become a better person, no matter which party was more at fault.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

at almost 40 how do you stay modern with out sacrificing morals Posted: 10/11/2009 8:09:07 AM
at nearing 60 i have no problem dancing with women. modern? what's that. i still remember nearly bumping uglies with women on the floor from when i was in my 20s and 30s. not much has changed, men, women, alcohol and a highly charged atmosphere in a dance club equates to folks becoming more amorous than they normally would be in public. thats why its kept kinda dark, so some play is allowed without being too obvious to onlookers who are probably doing the same thing. if your morals are against this sort of thing, its simple, don't do it. be yourself first and seek people of like mind and culture as yourself if you want to find happiness in a relationship. stepping outside the bounds of who and what you are usually results in either one or both of you being disappointed.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

would you ever give your partner to a stranger for sex while you sit and watch? Posted: 4/5/2008 3:44:21 AM
NO, i'm afraid i'd even have a problem giving my partner to anyone. first, she is free and i do not own her,; second, it would be her decision to have sex with someone other than myself.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Men Relate Through Sex Posted: 4/3/2008 7:23:05 PM
to punkangel: men learned to become emotionally attached soon after women decide they wouldn't give it up without attachment. yeah we're basically a bunch of barbarians who've had to adapt to political correctness and become "sensitive" in order to bed the best girls. whatever works, works. on the OP, sex can be just sex for sex's sake but love can be had and shown without having sex. when it all comes together in one package, love and sex are inseperable but not dependant on each other. wow, thats good, got to get back to reality, all this philosphying gives me a headache and she won't be happy with me then. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

Unprotected sex and multiple partners Posted: 4/3/2008 7:04:18 PM
although aids may not be an automatic death sentence in our country, what about the quality of life with this disease, and the cost... astronimical. couple this with the many nasties out there, why take a chance. get to know your partner beforehand, ask questions and answer as well. i agree that testing is not the answer, nor a preventive of much value to sexually active folks who have multiple partners. its very simple to wrap it up and play safe than to risk spreading bad things to others. i'd hate to have it on my conscious that i'd ruined another person's life because of a selfish move on my part, and would be very likely to revert to vigilante style justice if anyone did it to me; after all from that point on, what do i have to lose. though uncomfortable, condoms this day and age are a must if one wishes to stay healthy and sexually active.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

What is that Vibe she is talking about ???? Posted: 4/3/2008 6:45:01 PM
sounds like she just vibrated your way, next move is yours. everyone likes to be a little coy and with time and as you learn more of each other and your ways of saying and doing, it should become obvious that a woman wants more... or less. first rule of dating, forget the rules. be yourself and expect the same of your date. "vibes" are just good or bad feelings you send or recieve to each other. if ya pay attention they become more obvious but can also be totally misread as well, depending on the lady's whim of the moment. still confused? join the club and if ya find out the frequncy of her vibes and can identify it... let the rest of us know too. best of luck in your research of this and other subjects related to women's feelings and understanding them. gary ps: laughing libra has the best revelation so far,lmao

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

is it going anywere Posted: 4/3/2008 6:36:37 PM
it can work out for you both provided you are willing to be half in love. he has set the boundaries but i read more than that in your feelings. it doesn't matter that he doesn't love the other woman, just as he has told you that he won't fall in love with you either. i think he thinks more of himself than for others. i have been with selfish people before and it doesn't do well for me. i'm with the rest of the crowd in that you should either forget him or get down to his level and be happy with just giving love for naught in return. if you are into self punishment and abuse, go for it; sounds like a sweet deal for one of you. good luck. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

a 20 year old betrayal Posted: 4/3/2008 6:21:10 PM
as i understand this, the guy was unfaithful to his girlfriend/wife? some 20 years ago during there first encounter and never told her. they were both younger and different people then than now and he has come clean with her about it now so as to not soil the new start. his infidelity back then could be part of why they split the first time but has no bearing on today as we all make foolish mistakes in life. sounds as though they have found each other again after growing up and are suited for each other from an outsiders point of view. whatever his relationship with his other son is of little concern now other than the fact that he may want to try and rectify not being there for him. if the woman loves this guy, she should be willing to hear him out and give him the chance to prove he's now trustworthy... if he his. counseling would probably be the best option so that everything can be laid out for both and have an unbiased counselor advise them. unless you are that counselor, its time to butt/ bow out and leave them to sort it out. that would save you a lot of unnecessary drama and give them both a fair chance at whatever they choose as well. even though you were asked into it, common sense tells me you shouldn't be there for your own benefit and there's. better to have a friend later, after the sorting is done than to lose them by trying to help. advise them to seek prof. help instead and then that leaves you free to enjoy their friendship without having to take sides. i wish you and them the best of luck. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Are certain sexual encounters considered gay? Posted: 3/29/2008 3:12:46 PM
leeanne sure has a way with words and never leaves ya wondering what she said

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Do you think having TOO MANY RESTRICTIONS hinders possibilities? Posted: 3/29/2008 6:53:48 AM
every restriction listed does lower possibilities but so what. hopefully the resrictions will automatically weed out those one truly does not want to meet, though doubtful. i have no problem with folks saying up front what they want or don't, although restricting possibilities, its says something about the person as well preventing for me a lot of unecessary contacts. do them or not, its a personal choice that will have effects sometimes positive and sometimes negative. can't please all the people all the time, so do what feels most comfortable for yourself.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Do men react negatively when women make the first approach? Posted: 3/29/2008 6:44:23 AM
for me it would depend on the type of approach. if its a sexual come on immediately, yup... thats a predator. if its a nice hello just to let me know they are interested and available, i've no problem with it. i have yet to meet a woman who i thought was too masculine, but rather shows they feel an equal to men and aren't afraid to show it. women are different in so many ways but i don't think that should let us pile them into the submissive or "wait till i notice you" category. as long as a first move is tastefully done, its great. if untasteful, trashy, or otherwise just a sexual come on: i would probably react just as women would in the same situation, with a "get lost creep" attitude.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

People who are here only for the forums Posted: 3/29/2008 6:29:10 AM
i am here for the forums and still have my profile stating the same and that i am in a committed relationship. this does allow others to contact me and i find most of them never even read the profile but just see a pic and send a note. i don't meet them but some of them have become internet friends with whom i share a personal repoir with from time to time. started the forum thing while looking for a date out of boredom and soon became addicted. perhaps its just an ego thing with being able to voice and have heard my opinions, but i also take it seriously and hope to be of help to another human by sharing some of what i've learned in life. a lot of the forums are just trash threads but now and then i hear a cry for serious help and try to answer that call honestly and with what i feel is sound advice.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Are certain sexual encounters considered gay? Posted: 3/29/2008 6:13:13 AM
i certainly wouldn't label the guys in a mfm thing gay, after all they are both enjoying and being enjoyed by a woman. the gay thing would come more into play if you found yourself attracted to the other man in the scene and then acted upon this attraction. you know yourself if you are gay, bi, or have any intentions of going in that direction. makes no difference about the labels, be who you are and enjoy it. pressure and labels from others will only add to ones frustration if taken as a personal attack on your sexuality. as for the shemale thing, i am of the opinion they are actually gay and just took extra steps to enable themselves to attract more men whether out of the others curiosity of the shemales sexuality or just the novelty of that situation. either way from what i read about it, the shemales are getting all they want in the sex department.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Situational question Posted: 3/29/2008 6:00:42 AM
not all are geared the same.just as with anything else it takes practice to develop the needed skills to perform a job satisfactorily . if you don't know... ask, i'm betting after a few more physical encounters and some intimate conversation, things will be running smoothly. glad ya thought enough to be considering her feelings, but you are asking the wrong peeps.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

having a kept person. Posted: 3/29/2008 5:45:33 AM
i have known a few men that are more than willing to be "kept" by women. i personally have no respect for them as i am a hrd worker and feel that all able bodied people should work real jobs rather than accept handouts from thoise willing to pay for their entertainment. in other words, they are whores who have no respect for themselves or the women they allow to keep them up. its an easy means of living a more lavish lifestyle without putting much into it. it usually comes with a big age difference so therefore is doomed to end when the beauty of youth leaves then behind. i can also see the "keepers" point of view as well, but last time i checked, hiring a prostitue is still as illegal as being one. i'm not a conformist by any means but do have values that prevent this behavior from setting well with me. on the other hand, i have no use for women whos sole reason for being in a relationship is to be "kept". could be i'm just a little old fashioned, but i know that comes with age and i'm gettin' on up there myself. sometimes just being "normal" works for me.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Really enjoying the company of your partner. Posted: 3/29/2008 5:30:11 AM
i find there are many folk i can enjoy company with on a short term basis but to have to put up with constantly would be misery for us both. i guess thats the reason for dating; to sort out the one(s) we are not totally comfortable with and find the ones we are. fascination with the opposite sex is natural but in our society it is deemed proper to settle with one and build a lifetime around that person exclsively. if ya don't like the person as a person, no use wasting a lifetime just trying to get along and stay in misery. its simple really, if ya don't like 'em, back to the pond, and be ready to have the same thing done to yourself as well. its best to remember life is not all about me, but about us. good luck and stay true to yourself first.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Am i taking this to serious, or am I right ? Posted: 3/27/2008 5:54:21 PM
anyone who offends another is wrong. if you don't care for the conversations early... it is a big deal and should be a tool for weeding the wackos. thats what the learning period is for and some things don't need to be known up front to start a serious or lasting relationship. yup, they wanting a booty call and you don't have to put up with that kind of behavior.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Would you give up sex for a 50-inch plasma TV? Posted: 3/27/2008 5:49:47 PM
i have no use for a large tv or even a small one. prefer to live my life rather than waste it watching others pretend to live theirs, so no deal for me there. a new touring bike though, thats a whole new question,lol

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Do you think it is rude Posted: 3/27/2008 5:46:59 PM
during a session with a woman once, we had done all that could be done together and she still felt the need for another herself. at that point she pulled out an electric massager and had at it in front of me. it was a little embarrassing at first but i soon came to the conclusion it was just another step forward between us in our sex life. i didn't think it was rude nor did i feel less a man for her extra efforts. we both got what we were working towards and ended the evening completely satisfied on both sides. as long as it was agreed that it had been good but you were still "behind"; i see no harm and no foul in your actions. this could lead to more fun next time as well if he's willing to help out with it also.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Advice! Is this guy into me or does he just want to ****? Posted: 3/23/2008 5:11:49 AM
its amazing how few actually read your post. he asked you to call him, not him call you. he left the door open and the next move is obviously yours. attraction is good, without it humanity would soon perish and obviously he was attracted enough to you to invite a call back. i'm with some of the others, try a next meeting in daytime with no alcohol involved and start a new conversation. i can understand his questions to apoint...after all one must question to learn. i wonder a little about the more personal stuff but wasn't there so our judgments may be entirely out of context. i suggest returning his call, take a few minutes to re-hash the last conversation and then set the tone for a different one. if he keeps falling back to just porn and personal stuff about your past relationships, odds are he gets off on this as much as wanting anything else from you. your profile doesn't say much other than you have no great expectations and seek company. you seem pretty laid bak and that is often misleading in a first time meeting. you are no doubt confident of your abilities to get guys and its up to you to choose which kind to keep going out with. i hope you find mr. right and happiness with him, just be careful along the way. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

What dose it mean: Decipher Profiles Posted: 3/21/2008 5:23:48 PM
after following this thread and getting over gary's list... i see a pattern developing here. seems that a lot of ladies write to me stating they are so tired of meeting guys that are so fake. after looking back at their profiles i can now see why as they did not list any "negatives " that they wished to steer clear of. i myself; though now a taken man, soon chose to list some of the negative things because of past experiences, and have changed my profile several times to reflect the same. honesty is important and by using it as a tool, one may hope to discourage those they would not wish to have any contact with. so far i have found it not to be a detterent, but some of the louse here on the net figure they can disallow all the things that you dislike and proceed hoping to score another hit by total dihonesty. yup, for sure the internet dating thing is different; but as it seems to be the norm nowdays, guess its back to pay ya money and take ya chances and hope for the best. i have no problem with folks listing both likes and dislikes as it would save me a lot of time should the need arise to venture back into the pond. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Did I misread the situation? Posted: 3/8/2008 8:03:31 AM
classic first date mistake. if you and he got it on and enjoyed it, great. sadly, most folks take that as just a good time and read nothing more into it than that. sounds like he got his rocks off, left you extremely satisfied and ready for another round. two feelings here. glad you enjoyed him but sorry he isn't ready for a repeat. you may have well been another notch on the bedpost as he sounds extremely smooth, or he may not have really cared for anthing but the immediate gratification knowing he was a good lover. you got your money's worth out of the ride, so just chalk it up as a great experience and move on. guess we've all had dates that left us tingly afterwards but never get another chance with them. just part of life in the dating game. hopefully you can find another connection like him that will work out more long term. best of luck to you.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Is this to much to expect? Posted: 3/8/2008 7:29:44 AM
another spin on the tale. he allowed you to go in front of him... not dragging along behind... simple ettiquite 101. you paid before he had time to get his money out thereby blocking his opportunity to pay for both. perhaps next time step aside when he puts you out front and see what he's made of. see above post... he lives with his mum and doesn't have a car, lets you drive to him, doesn't spring for a more private place to be with you... all signs of a loser but perhaps he's also a great guy just down on his luck... play this one out a couple more times and you will have your own answers. good luck to you.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

What dose it mean: Decipher Profiles Posted: 3/8/2008 7:15:57 AM
great thread and so many light hearted responses for such a serious subject. glad to see the happy folks out again. though funny to read, gary's list is also true in many ways. reckon re-reading my own profile , i let folks know what has attacked me in the past as well. glad i'm no longer seeking a date/mate here so i don't have to re-write it. if i applied the list to my male profile, i'd look pretty pathetic. thanks for the laughs and keep 'em coming. former frog kisser

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

I'll post the whole article Posted: 3/7/2008 9:27:05 PM
i'm with blywings. safer to be seperated and technically unavailable for marriage than to divorce. if the need arises, either of us will gladly sign the papers and make it final. i make no bones about my status and no excuse. if i ain't your cup of tea because of that, i'm fine with it as is my ex and my gf who is in the same category as i. marrieds definitely use the dating sites for easy and discrete pickings. prob easier and cheaper than hanging out in bars waiting to hit on others to cheat with and i'd go with the percentages being fairly accurate pretty quickly, especially in the older than 30 folks.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Desire to have kids and money issues... Posted: 3/7/2008 8:41:05 PM
i'll toss in another commonality thats not been mentioned. in my area i see a lot of folks having kids with no money and with families that have no extra to help them out with either. this many times puts too much strain on the parents and they split because of it leaving no choices for a single parent but to fall back on government resources in order to provide food, medical attention, clothing and a roof over their heads. my ex and i raised our child by both working and accepting a lot of babysitting help from our parents who had the time and enjoyed the grandchild. when we first found out we were expecting, it scared the daylights out of us because we had no extras already and lived payday to payday but we managed to raise her well, give her what she needed and most of what she wanted as well by doing without ourselves in order to see she had a good childhood. money is very important but as one said earlier, if we had all waited till a child was affordable, we'd be extinct. i feel that giving and showing love toward each other and the children, a lack of "things" can be less of an issue. if one is willing to give their all, even the poorest of folk can raise children.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

1st date at someones house! Posted: 3/7/2008 8:21:56 PM
in answer to the initial question. no! my gf and i met and went back to her house on the first date. although, we first met and ate a meal and talked a while first and had conversed many times both on im and telephone. we met on a "not a date" basis and after going to her house, we talked until the wee hours before i went home alone without anything more than a little hug and a nice feeling about her. we are both older than you and knew quite a bit about each other before we actually met face to face but as a general rule ... going to anothers home would be a no-no for all the above mentioned reasons. though there are exceptions to every rule and certain circumstances that might prevent going anywhere else after dinner, (ours was at a rather late hour due to work schedules), niether of us would normally even consider such a thing although we've been together now for over 2 years partly because of our initial and continued comfort around each other. again though, as a general rule... never be alone with a stranger in his house until he's known. "former" frog kisser that found his princess

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Help! Boys aren't what they seem! Posted: 3/2/2008 6:33:35 AM
with computers its way too easy to present yourself to others as seen through your own eyes, or to project the image that one is what they only wish they were in real life. many may be very honest during their "interview" online with you and its possible you are misreading the meaning of what they are saying, or perhaps you are a bit more lonely than you want to be and don't spend enough time weeding guys out before meeting them. lots of good advice posted in this thread, try taking some of it, slow down a little and best of luck to you. gary

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Dentures, would you really not care? Posted: 3/2/2008 6:13:02 AM
i'm with tralaza on this one. waaaaaay better than really bad teeth for whatever reason. i've known many people whos whole personality improved once they got dentures to replace bad teeth. they would smile again rather than being self conscious about their teeth making them look bad. don't have them yet myself, but a few more lost and it will be a certainty for me. seems much more practical than constant trips to a dentist for expensive patch jobs that never last more than a few years. another big plus is no more toothaches.... ever!

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

A turn off Posted: 3/2/2008 5:53:27 AM
i've never been with a woman who couldn't have an orgasm period, but have been with some that never did during intercourse. with these it only required a bit more attention with other stimuli to be sure that it was a shared experience for us both. while at times it could turn into quite a chore and be frustrating, their lack of orgasm at the time has never been a turn off; but rather more of a challenge and a chance to explore our creativity together. real turn offs would be more like bad hygiene or finding the woman to be a liar. as for taking longer, women just generally seem to be slower to orgasm than men and thats just part of what makes them different from men.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Foreskin Restoration Posted: 2/29/2008 4:30:14 AM
so far from what i'm reading i could anylize that circumcised = desensitizing of the member. might add to the theory by politely stating thats why women like 'em cut, as a less sensitive member make for a less likely "quick draw" situation during lovemaking thereby giving the lady a better chance at having time to get hers as well. ok, after having opened up that can of pschyco analisys, i can somewhat understand that a guy might feel cheated by having surgery done without his consent. to be willing to go through the torture of growing it back tells me he is way too penis oriented and would enjoy life more if he'd just "let it go" and enjoy who he is and what he has, as probably would his partners as well. its not like he lost a leg or an eye, after all it just hangs around doing nothing all day and those of us that still have it must pay way more attention to hygiene or risk a lot of nasties should it be neglected. i don't recommend trying to replace it, nor do i recommend having it cut if its still there. seems much simpler to just deal with it and enjoy the rest of life accepting the cards you are dealt.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Your s.o. having pictures of previous lovers Posted: 2/23/2008 5:28:03 AM
understanding that there are many types of people in the world and that we will not all agree, i offer my thoughts on the subject. i am a little bit of an exhibitionist and also a mild voyeur. i enjoy photos and vids of others in sexual scenarios and have a few pics myself. i never flaunt them to my SO and never will. if the subject comes up, i will gladly share them with her if she choses to see them, but refuse to do away with them either. they were taken and/or collected over my lifetime and while some may have more significance then others, they are collectively no more than any other persons private porn collection; the only difference being i personally know the people in them. they are not for blackmail, or comparison, or to make anyone jealous or show any disrespect towards anyone. i see them more as a person might see watercolor paintings they did throughout their lives. they are not representative of how past relationships may have been but rather of some of the fun things that were done during that period of time in my life much as others keep vacation pics. i have no problem seing my SO in photos either and not being a jealous person, have no problem with her keeping her memories in a box to look at occasionally or share with others of like mind for enjoyment. i will also add that respect for others starts in neutral and either goes up or down as a person becomes better known to me.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

For the Guys! Posted: 1/25/2008 5:37:27 PM
i usually have an idea of the type woman she is before we get to the down and dirty parts. some women just naturally like to take charge and others will offer subtle suggestions. some are very vocal about it and others are kinda quiet, but can be heard. either is fine with me as long as they are honest with their vocalizations and not just trying to put on a show for impressions sake only. i'd much rather hear or feel something from them,(without having to pull a briar through their cracks), as to have them lay totally silent and still. perhaps a little OT, but movement is as important to me as vocals as so much can be said with body language even when in the dark sometimes.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

How to forgive Posted: 1/19/2008 4:24:44 PM
from your post i can see that you have had and continue to have feelings for this man. love is a powerful thing and that leads many of us into situations with those we love that turn out bad for all involved. you let him abuse and cheat on you, perhaps unknowingly at first, either out of fear or love. to fear is wrong, to love can be hard, especially when you already know the facts and statistics prove he will not be much better for long than he was before. he has parental rights but does not "own" you. as you still care for him (obviously), i'd suggest that he go through a proving period before you take him back. he says he will buy your dream farm for you; let him buy it and then win you back to help him run it. the kids no doubt have been scarred by his behavior and i can easily see the family's concern... more for them than for you probably. he must be able to show himself worthy of a woman willing to devote 10 years of her life to him before you subject yourself to more abuse. not saying he can't reform and be the man you fell in love with, but for myself, he'd have to prove it for a long time before i'd consider him again. i wish you all the best in life and may your children always respect you for what you have done for them.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

From friends to lovers. Can it work? Posted: 1/19/2008 4:04:50 PM
i married my best friend and it lasted for twenty years. we are still friends and have a daughter to help the bond stay alive as well. we both grew, changed outlooks on life and started growing apart, thus the marriage was called off mutually before we became enemies. we are no longer involved as man and wife and certainly not sexually but you can bet if either called upon the other in need, we'd both be there in a heartbeat. we both have new lives and new lovers but the friendship is older than anything new, including our marriage. i am sorry it didn't last till death do us part, but am blessed to still have such a good friend.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Would her actions be justifiable? Posted: 1/19/2008 3:18:54 PM
if knowing ahead of the time of conception that her man was not ready for children... she is dead wrong. that puts a lot of stuff on the man pshycologically, even though she has no intention of seeking any support from him. he may feel that he has some responsibility for the child and as well sooner or later will probably want some connection with his child, as it is also his. willfully using a man as a sperm donor without his consent is a terrible thing to do. i have my doubts about her being very good mother potential as well being as she is so willing to let her family help raise the child or will be dependant on them. sounds like a really screwed up family to start with if they are willing to go along with this fiasco. she sounds terribly spoiled and selfish, so she will probably lose interest in her child as soon as it becomes anything of a burden to her or starts getting more attention than she.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 186 (view)

Do guys really love to cuddle? Posted: 1/18/2008 8:46:54 PM
i enjoy cuddling while watching a movie or some tv...which is a rarety. with so little time left for my partner after working and both doing the domestic things, cuddle time is a special treat. sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes not and either is great. however ,so as not to sound too feminine here, cuddling after sex is the absolute best!

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Do guys lose respect if a girl hits on them? Posted: 1/18/2008 8:38:36 PM
i may date myself here but as a younger man, if a woman "hit" on me, she wanted sex pure and simple, or was setting me up for a con. as i've aged and hopefully matured, i know better. its now becoming socially acceptable for women to make the first move. i am flattered by it and have no reason to lose respect for a stranger as they haven't yet earned it. i am currently involved with a lady who wrote to me first and stated very palinly she didn't have to have a man for anything other than a friend. it has turned into a wonderful loving relationship between us, we've been together for 2 years now with few differences in that time. perhaps i just got lucky, or we both did. younger folks may still see this as an opportunity laid in their laps because the ice is already broken and half the battle is won by simply agreeing to date this woman. unfortunately we men haven't been conditioned to ask all the right questions, we just go with what we percieve to be a horny woman looking for relief. archaeic as it sounds, its still the truth of the problem you face. i am in agreement with a lot of others here that being more selective in those you choose to flirt with or make the first move with would go a long way toward weeding them before you are in a put out or get out situation. in todays world, i'd think if an older lady hit on a younger man... she still wants sex. if a younger woman hits on someone in her own age group, she could very well be looking to start a relationship and not just into it for sex. try doing a little research om the guys before you approach them. it can be as simple as watching them for a while or talking to some of their friends about them first. however, in a social situation like bars or clubbing, if there is alcohol involved, you can bet the guy is going to let his ego get stroked to the point that he thinks he has a "sure" thing. also, a guy that answers yes too quickly is another dead give away that he wants you for sex first and as possible relationship material later. just the meanderings of an old man who's seen a lot. good luck to you and i hope you find the one you truly seek.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

In Your Opinion ~ What Makes For Bad Sex? Posted: 1/18/2008 7:46:03 PM
lack of response, lack of good hygeine, thinking of themselves as the one with the pooty and using it as a tool for gain (prostitutes excepted), not willing to discuss if there is a problem... pretty much what everyone else has listed. on the other hand, the worst i ever had was wonderful at the time. yeah, i'm a guy and can be a little self cemtered occasionally. i think this is a two sided coin and most things noted work for both sexes.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

meeting half way with lifestyles Posted: 1/12/2008 6:46:15 AM
reckon i fall into the old grump category. i am pretty set in my ways to a point, but also willing to give things a go once in a while with the ladys. i will invite them to attend my activities but don't expect them to be there evry time. i feel the same about the womans side, if they invite me and i don't want to go, i politely refuse and suggest they enjoy some time away from "us". i'd much rather have a happy camper come around later than end up being a stick in the mud doing things i really don't like anyway. again, my lady friends all have this option as well. at my age, i see no reason to have to always indulge my partners evry nuance and don't expect them to either.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

A 47 y/o Dad in same bed as 21 y/o daughter? Posted: 1/12/2008 6:16:44 AM
seems as though, and by your own admission, there was an animosity between you and the daughter from the beginning. it may have been common practice for then to sleep in the same bed since forever, or it may have been her way of showing you who actually had control of her father. either way, it ahppened in your house and you had the right to disallow it. you are now past this and going on with your life as well. don't let this haunt you as its a bygone and has nothing left to do with you any longer. drop it and mark it up as a bad learning experience... not only the bedroom stuff, but the whol;e relationship with this man.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

What's the rational behind all this damn testing of potential dates? Posted: 1/10/2008 6:12:09 PM
i'm sort of like the OP in a lot of ways. i don't "test" folks. i would much rather state my case and have them do the same. if i don't like something or especially do like something, i say so and they should do the same. why set up a scenario for another person just to see how they respond to a situation. the only way i see this being necessary is for soldiers and policemen, athletes, things that involve total confidence in your partners ability to watch you back and carry their part of the load. every day life is not meant to be lived so dramatically. if you throw the drama away, then you can live more freely with each other. life is test enough for me and i'm sure it works well for others also if given the chance. i also try to start everyone out with a clean slate. if anyone has read my profile, they know what i'm about and what i won't tolerate. others that i've dated are told early on about things and are given the chance to speak their expectations as well. thats what dating is for. its as easy to get to know someone with simple questions and answers as it is to put pitfalls in front of others just to "test" them.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 154 (view)

Sex on the First Date Posted: 1/10/2008 5:54:21 PM
done it with some and held out or was put off by some. i wasn't there and am only hearing her side of the tale. given a few hypotheticals... you were being sexy, playing provocatively, where you went may have had a sexually charged atmosphere, he really liked you... any or all of the above or none makes no difference. you said no... end of story. take #2 well everyone knows when a woman says no, it means maybe, am i showing my age and immaturity again. not wanting to rant at ya but seems from some of your responses during this thread, you have had a little change of heart about sex. not sure how long it will last as you stated it was never taught to be something special. i can only hope for your own good that you will do a little more soul searching and guy searching as well. if a man cannot make sex special, or at least make you feel special for having shared with him... he's a no good and not worth a second thought. best of luck to you and in your search.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Multiple dates.....do you tell the other dates? Posted: 1/10/2008 5:32:31 PM
i have no interest in hearing my date talk about other dates. to simply let the guy know you "have been" dating a few different guys is ok but spare the details so this guy will have no clues as to how to act to steer you into his clutches. if ya like him, see him again, take your time with it cause its easy to be pulled along for the ride with famous personalities. you are both recently out of relationships so you both know how that feels right now. easy to become someone's rebound relationship also.. just food for thought and totally OT but just felt like syaing it... daddy daughter syndrome,lol. good luck to you and may you find that which you truly seek.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

ARE YOU REAL?????????? Posted: 1/10/2008 4:58:37 PM
i never heard of pms being related to whether one is healthy or not as its a female only thing medically speaking. c'mon guys lighten up and play nice. the lady asked a question seeking answers and opinions but i'm sure she didn't wish to be berated for it. i can understand some of your hostility as you are a scot and she is english but please save the hatred for somewhere else. too much of that in the world already. in answer to the op, yes, i am real and always reply to mail i get here whether i'm interested or not. its nice to be noticed and if one decides i'm worthy of a note, then i feel it my duty to reply back in a nice manner.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

freinds with benefits relationships Posted: 1/9/2008 7:31:28 PM
i have turned down a few offers for the fwb thing myself. my friends are carefully chosen and always given the very best part of me and i feel they do the same in return. knowing human nature, i won't chance messing up a friendship by having sex just for the sake of sex. on the other hand i was married to a best friend for 20 yrs, friends for life before marriage. maybe i prejudge folks by my own feelings,but i'm afraid that when it came time to call it off because i found someone "better", would cause irreperable damages between true friends. i can't see true friends being fwbs knowing that they are being used to fill in the gaps in ones sex life. the other side of the story is that most people will do anything for a friend, even giving them sex temporarily, or money, or a place to stay. friends are givers and not takers so i'd figure just hunting a fb would do the trick but not a fwb, just not for me.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 123 (view)

Embarrassing question-whipping it out inappropriately Posted: 1/9/2008 7:06:36 PM
i knew a guy that would inevitably leave it out after a trip to the toilet after a few beers at a bar or dance hall. he was a pervert of sorts and everyone knew he'd sooner or later do it so we learned to pay him no attention, the ladies especially. not wishing to go OT here but have had several women at bars show up bare bottomed and put my hand on it just out of the blue. guess that means its not gender specific, just a little more than whats expected in a public place that isn't particularly a pick up joint. i haven't done it except after knowing someone for a while and being comfortable with them, pull it out and shake it playfully at her... and definitely only in the confines of privacy.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

Masterbation...How much is Too Much??? Posted: 1/9/2008 6:14:58 PM
as kids, the older folks always warned us about playing with ourselves, even said if we did we'd go blind. oh well, whats a kid to do, anyways, i now have to wear glasses,lol. there are times between dates and even during hard times while married that i learned my hand would love me back. there are times now, during a nice evening with a lady that we both find great pleasure in using mutual masturbation as foreplay, sometimes to completion and others just to set the mood. as cat eyes stated there is a lot of pleasure to be had by holding out till you get together with your lover, but still there is a lot that can be had without a lover as well. too much? cannot answer as i don't think i've ever reached that level yet. reckon i only resort to it when i can't find anyone else to do at least a mercy job on me,lol. whatever keeps a person sexually satisfied is good for them but if you have a partner and it interferes with your ability to perform to their satisfaction, then its too much.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Developing Formula require female input. Posted: 1/9/2008 5:21:08 PM
tell ya what, dang near the best thread i've seen here in a while. so silly it's ludicrous to think anyone would actually take it serious... BUT THEY HAVE roflmao. guess i'm not the only one with a sense of humor but since i have no desire to be horsewhipped in stocks on the public square, i'll reserve my formula testing for a night out with the guys over a bottle of sour mash. thanks for the laughs and keep 'em coming.

gary5252

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

How would you have handled it? and a vent.... Posted: 1/6/2008 6:03:41 PM
don't beat yourself up OP. no way should you let a man like that get close enough to you to cause any harm financially or otherwise to your family. unfortunately the net is full of certified BSrs and con/scam artists. they are there in real life as well but the net gives many more of them opportunity at so many more persons. yeah, offering to take care of my kids would really burn me as well seeing he doesn't know you or your children. better luck in the future and keep your eyes open like you did this time.

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