Do guys really do this??? (Pushing limits) chat & forums.

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caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

Do guys really do this??? (Pushing limits) Posted: 8/8/2005 1:34:33 AM
I'll put it like this. The majority of men in heterosexual relationships have to just go for it, or it will most likely never happen... if not for a long long long time. If they ask for permission, their girlfriend will most likely not consider it to be romantic and that said guy is not secure. Just imagine the scenerio of a man asking a woman "Would if be okay if we had sex?" So called hints and signs arn't the same as speech and actions. A woman may do something which a man might interperet as a hint towards sex, and find out that she wasn't. It is not at all fun playing the mime version of twenty questions. Also, either outcome of said girl either reluctantly accepting, accepting genuinely, or rejecting said guy does not have an obvious outcome of whether or not he will want to be with her afterwards. It is all a crap shoot, and a twisted little mexican stand'off where two people feel out the situation and try to act accordingly... and the guy is usually the unfortunate one who is put up to the task of initiating the first acts.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

A Problem I have. Posted: 7/20/2005 6:35:24 AM
Yes. I experience it on both sides of the situation. For the most part, I find someone I like and inevitably later find out that they already have a boyfriend or husband. Though when I'm dating someone, single girls start to come out of the wood works. It is quite maddening.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Why do they lie....your opinions please.. Posted: 7/20/2005 6:29:11 AM
That has probably happened to most people. I know that it has happened to me. There are two probable reasons why a person would lose all contact with somebody else... given that they are infact really single. Either they are serial daters, and somewhere along the lines found someone that they where more interested in... or, they didn't have the guts to admit that they weren't interested. People avoid any sort of awkward moments like the plague. They're too cowardly to just tactfully say that they arn't interested. They would rather lead you or anyone else on for a few days or a couple of weeks, without any contact.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

I think that most women on POF want another woman !?!? LMAO ! Posted: 7/20/2005 3:30:03 AM
There are no absolutes, and stereotypes are proof of that. There is no perfect man or woman, and no normal or typecast traits that entails one as a perfect person, of either gender. There are "sensitive" heterosexuals just as there are "manly" homosexuals, and vice versa... and the same goes for either gender, no matter the sexual orientation. It really is not as basic as equating a sensitive man to a woman... because masculinity and femininity have gone in a blender. It is a smidgen more complex. Think of it as the next step in evolution. There aren't any more typical roles, such as the bread winner and house wife. I think men and women, on a whole, are trying to meet each other half way... and that includes their behaviors. It is another form of the melting pot.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Anyone have a horoscope or physic reading about your love life that came true? Posted: 7/20/2005 3:05:52 AM
No.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Online Dating versus Dating at Bars/Clubs Posted: 7/20/2005 2:31:37 AM
Neither seem to be that great. There doesn't seem to be a big success rate, or amount of people who are actually dating due to such websites... and bars/clubs are often not the social atmosphere people think they are. It can be difficult to get to know someone with music blarring over every word you attempt to voice out, or with huge crowds of people moshing all around. Perhaps you just have to find a good place or website... but then again, I've never found any such dating website or club/bar that fitted the mold as an ideal place for meeting women. I have had much more luck with meeting women at coffee shops over games of chess than online or at over hyped "the place to be" scenes.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

What is a Stalker? Posted: 6/28/2005 3:47:42 AM
What I find funny is when women wonder why guys are afraid to ask them out. Well this would be one the main reasons. We think we have refined ourselves in the subtle art of "hinting", but what most of us have really achieved is the art of BS... if you could call it an art form. So when said guy makes the mistake of believing that said woman's exscuses are the truth, he tries again and again... thinking she actually has to visit her grandma on friday, take her aunt's friend's sister's pet dog to the groomer on saturday, having a girls night out on sunday, going to a doctor's appointment on monday, etc... and so he tries and tries, waiting for her shedule to open up, when it never will. Though that isn't being subtle, or hinting, but lying. We rarely hear a modest "nothanks" these days, rather, we hear a long winded far fetched story. Back to 'it' being a big reason why guys are reluctant to ask women out. Well if said guy sees a woman he's attracted to in a place where he frequents, and where she also happens to frequent... well it isn't rare that he'll be worried that she might take him for a stalker if he continues to frequent said spot, after she turned him down. A guy might think "well, I really like this coffee shop, gym, bookstore, whatever... it's not worth the risk of never being able to return because she might think I'm stalking her." I know I've felt that way. There was a girl I would often see working in a bookstore/coffee shop that I like going to. Everytime I saw her there, I would try to convince myself to ask her out, then I would convince myself that it wasn't worth not ever being able to come back if she turned me down. What a goddamn headache.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 69 (view)

Problem with these sites is they attract insecure people Posted: 6/28/2005 3:26:48 AM
Well the truth is that everyone is insecure. To what extent is the quetion. Those who claim that they have no insecurities either have delusions of grandeur or are trying to fool themselves... though usually it's the latter. It's always so black and white with all these labels... and with this subject, we have insecure and self esteem, or the more often used 'confident'. Constantly labeling people is the result of it.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Not exclusive, yet not wanting to date others Posted: 6/28/2005 3:03:12 AM
No. I wouldn't see multiple people at once, because I've been on the other end of that situation and I hated it. It just makes things needlessly complicated, and not only degrades the suitors as contestents in some sort of screwed up little game show... but also said man or woman who is then the "prize".

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

What is a normal guy? Posted: 6/16/2005 1:07:03 AM
There is normal as associated to average or mediocrity, and normal as subjective comparison to the personal opinion of what is odd. There really is no normal when we talk about people as a whole. There is merely preference and opinion, nothing more.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

big tough guy? Posted: 6/16/2005 12:48:09 AM
I know I'm shooting myself in the foot by going along with one certain camp, but I'm bored and I haven't posted a thread in awhile. I remember reading a book on Jung, and one of his theories of persona and the anima. That the more a man rejects his anima (Jungian reference to the male feminine side of the unconscious), the more he becomes a woman. Or in other words, the guy who acts like super macho hetero man, is actually unconciously becoming more like a woman... by overcompensating any sort of natural self with a persona that he thinks society wishes for him. Like I said, super macho man. This might explain the reason why certain guys who present themselves in the stereotypical fashion, and at time have an emotional breakdown when they get drunk. Losing their inhibitions along with their front, weeping and carrying about past relationships in a bar, on their best friend's shoulder. I am sure most of you have witnessed this.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

all I haft to say is what the f*ck Posted: 6/16/2005 12:27:01 AM
Vague statements beget more vague statements. Nobody expects anyone on here to write a novel, nor would they wish to read a ten foot long post... just divulge a little as to what you mean.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

shallow hal syndrome Posted: 6/16/2005 12:15:01 AM
Well that is quite rare Xtravik. I would have to say that physical attraction is the proverbial foot in the door. Generally, those who lack it have to work that much harder to attract others with an appealing attitude. They (those who possess a certain universal attractiveness) have a better chance to simply be given the chance, so to speak. Dating is often an mutual interview, weighing pros and cons, and running said person through a personal checklist. As much as most of us would like to deny it, we are all a little shallow. Though to what extent, is the true question.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Does Age Really Matter????? Posted: 6/16/2005 12:01:58 AM
Age as a ranking of maturity is a common misconception. Perhaps generation gives way to certain common trends, among perhaps many of any said age group... but it isn't written in stone as one's age is. I have met people 30-80 who act childish, and people 18-25 who act responsibly... and of course I have witnessed those who portray themselves with the expectancy of their age.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

would relationships exists? Posted: 6/12/2005 11:42:59 AM
Well if sex never existed, then technically, we wouldn't exist. Though I know what you're trying to ask. I would say no, relationships wouldn't exist in the romantic sense... being that without sex, there is no such attraction, there is no romance. Though it would change much more than that. You would have to imagine a world without any sexual culture or history. Then again, if we are or were ever incapable of reproduction, then we wouldn't be here right now.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

What's up with the way outa my league mentality? Posted: 6/10/2005 11:16:42 AM
You don't always know what your "league" is. You often hear of women complaining that men are intimidated by either their independence or beauty. I don't exactly have a chart of which league I fall into, so I simply go with the flow.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

waht do you think? Posted: 6/9/2005 1:51:40 AM
Like I always say. There is no right or wrong way, just preferences and opinions.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Anyone else sick of old-fashioned dating ideals? Posted: 6/9/2005 1:33:08 AM
Yeah, the jig is up "Supposed to" in regards to gender tends to lean or hint towards sexism. I would like to have my chair pulled out too you know. I just don't like the after taste of being an expected manservant, it makes me feel dirty. I don't understand why such things are expected on first or second dates, in a day n' age where dating isn't exclusive, and romance doesn't enter into the picture until it has become a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship... since such sentiment is often regarded as romantic by most of those who wish for such actions. Though if we would go so far as to knock it down to being considerate, then that would mean the woman wasn't being considerate by not returning the favor. Because if it is thought that said man is "supposed to" do it, then it would indeed be sexist.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

waht do you think? Posted: 6/9/2005 12:24:42 AM
Yes, one can still contract an STD or get pregnant when using prophylactics, but it's under 1 percent. What do morals have to do with the difference of a casual sexual lifestyle compared to a less casual one? I'll move back to the main topic, before I end up raving about theology, soceity, chaos, order, whatever. I don't exactly think that a longer duration of friendship, dating, whatever you wish to call it, exactly prevents people from assuming one thing or another. Assumption is basic human nature, to judge one must assume, to come to many conclusions most of the time one must assume. Exclusivity isn't a given in regards to the dating world, it doesn't mean that the relationship won't fall apart somewhere along the lines.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 36 (view)

waht do you think? Posted: 6/8/2005 11:50:05 PM
The thing with having options is that it typically involes one person having all the options, while the other person has few if not none. We tend to either get stuck with not knowing what type of relationship it is, or asking and risking being labeled "needy" or "pushy". It can be unfair if one person is holding all the cards while the other is left guessing which hand their counterpart is going to play. Because we all know how most people have a tendency to lead others on instead of being direct, because they fear even the slightest awkward moment. Which is why we often hear "Why didn't it work out?"..."What happened? I thought we had a good time."..."Why didn't he or she never call back?" Also, the prevailance of STD's and unintended pregnancy, is for the majority, due to the utter lack of the use of prophylactics. Besides, not all people are going to want to sit down and compare sex partners on sheets of paper all through the night... that is often something that kills relationships. Some people might want to inquire about every little thing about the past relationships of said person... while others will consider it as a form of jealousy. That being said, you can't always accurately guess the sexual history of someone by their personality alone... such as a number of people, frequency, types of people, etc. That being said, it isn't a "tell" to the prior statement of STD's and pregnancy.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Seriously, why would I go to you???? Posted: 6/3/2005 10:23:10 PM
I think Apocx was trying to say how 'some' women only want the beneficial aspects of equal rights... such as same pay, same job advancement opportunities, same amount of respect in the work place, etc. Though while some want the obviously good things, they shrink away from other notions of gender equality, especially when dating. Such as expecting the guy to pay her way on the date. I think meeting half way is only fair, under the circumstance that both people have cars. I agree that he made a sweeping generalization, but I also agree that 'some' women are guilty of wanting to have their cake and eat it too... concerning how they want to pick and choose in what ways they want to be treated equal.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

A Brighter Way, to a Brighter Day.................. Posted: 6/3/2005 6:04:19 AM
Outside the cafe, I just sat there teetering back and forth I gave myself a dare I finished my cigarette and lept out of my chair The coin landed heads so I approached without a care "Hello!" I said as she tustled her hair Invited over, this chance I wouldn't cheat To her table I dragged a vacant seat With jubilent atmosphere, we weren't discreet Laughs and smiles, my words she would greet What luck I thought that we should meet The night was young though goodbyes were said I walked away with happy thoughts within my head Was I giddy like a school girl or acting brain dead I whistled a tune by which my feet were led Back to my car and back to my bed I typed her an email which she never read Damn I was bored, I would laugh hysterically if this ended up on something awful's awful forum of the week I guess the next topic would pertain to this one: The one that got away (even if he or she was just an acquiantance)

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Seriously, why would I go to you???? Posted: 6/3/2005 4:55:47 AM
Did you forget Ima that woman bear the children and men only contribute their sperm... until that is equal, men can go to me! I'm really hoping that was a joke.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Do guys like nice girls? Posted: 6/3/2005 4:34:48 AM
Well, drinking and smoking, or the absence of such does not exactly decide whether the person is good or bad... in my opinion at least. I will say that I don't like the typical party girl, and drug users are out of the question. What is considered slutty is up to debate... I would simply prefer someone who would be able to commit during the relationship. The whole nice guy, nice girl thing is all based upon personal opinion. Though so far as we're being vague, as we usually are, I say good girls all the way

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 72 (view)

Why are men hard to read? Posted: 6/3/2005 4:21:13 AM
My reasoning would be that both people are often hesitant to do or say anything revealing when they first start dating... because no matter which way you lean, you can easily fall off of the balance beam. These incomprehensible "dating rules" are written off as common sense, when in fact it is merely preference, and often times contrary their very nature. If a guy opened up in the beginning of a relationship, answered every question in honest detail, and it ended up with him being dumped or ditched... then he will be very unlikely to try that approach again any time soon. Though if said guy were to completely shut off, then he wouldn't be able to project his identity in any way, and it would most likely result in the same fashion as when he was honest and open. So, like most other guys, he tries to find an impossible balance, where he attempts to be neutral, and completely reliant on his date or significant other to guide him. Though often is the case that women do the same thing, and thus the proverbial mexican stand off when the two meet up and wait for the other to give the okay. This is where people develope a false identity, a persona if you will... making it easier to act in just about any sort of way, because their true identity isn't on the line to be rejected... just some made up character in their head that they are using to represent themselves. People easily b@stardize those who don't meet their expectations, and instead of looking at the big picture, they simply point the finger. We have seen the scenerios, the varying life styles, and the colorful insulting dating jargon used to label people in an unfavorable light. People are accustomed to protecting themselves from hallow hurtful words by not acting, even if it means that the date or relationship will fail by doing so (or in this case, not doing so) anyways... people want to leave it as the good guy, the victor, the better, etc... which is childish, but human. As much as we would like to think we are always portraying ourselves truthfully, you must take into account that we humans are creatures of adaptation. We will usually remodel out actions in attempts to get that favorable reception, even if it means that we don't show others who we really are... it can be concious or unconciously done. I would call the human being one who strives to be the never self realized hedonistic saint. Theres an oxymoron to ponder over.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 120 (view)

Why do older women attract more younger men then men their own age? Posted: 6/2/2005 3:30:09 PM
There is some truth to what you say englishangel. The very notion of competition is quite childish in my opinion, and I don't wish to be another alpha male wanna be. Despite my grounded beliefs in evolution, only the strong survive, etc... it lacks a certain romanticism in the dating world. I wouldn't be attracted to someone who was only attracted to me due to the things I possess. Bussiness and pleasure mix as well as oil and water.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Why are man so cruel ?? ;( Posted: 6/2/2005 3:11:17 PM
I don't know about that, greeneyes. I don't like playing the chasing game, and I sure don't like dating women who rely on me to initiate every activity and call. Though I do agree with you on not taking rejection so seriously.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Top 4 things said in Headliners to personal ads Posted: 6/2/2005 2:58:46 PM
Which is the reason why I put "insert pithy overused dating jargon here" as my headline.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

what's with all the young'uns?! Posted: 6/2/2005 2:53:34 PM
Well said batgirl. Amongst the young college age crowd, there are usually two types. The studious and the partyer. The partyer is often an obnoxious yahoo, and the studious is usually either at home studying or at work earning money. The rare times when you see the studious outside of work or study is when they are with friends, and only have that time to spend with friends or family. Often is the case that college students study in coffee shops just to get out of the house or dorm room, and to get a little caffeinated fuel to keep them awake during their studies. So your best bet is to either meet a studious college student when they are working, and ask them out. Or to hope that they won't get pissed if you interrupt their studying by asking them out. Though they usually don't have much time to have an active relationship, and are usually drained by the time their day off comes around. It can suck to be a college student if your parents arn't footing the bill.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Why are man so cruel ?? ;( Posted: 6/2/2005 2:37:48 PM
I think that has happened to most of us. I haven't been told that I'm obsessed, or the ever more so popular catch phraze "needy", but I have gone on dates and never heard back from girls. I'll think we had a good time, and that this woman was actually interested, then to never hear from her again. It sucks, but it doesn't mean that all people are like this.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

what's with all the young'uns?! Posted: 6/2/2005 4:46:08 AM
I'm only here for the forums. I've sent emails to all the people I would of like to have met, but you can't always get what you want. So I just use the forums for a source of mild entertainment, and to see different opinions on certain subjects. I'm out of college, and even during college, there was only a hand full of women near my age... and all of them were already seeing somebody. The majority of my classmates had families, kids, and some of them had grand kids. I try to frequent college hangouts, though I don't meet many single women. Most college students often date other college students, or still have their high school sweet hearts. Even then, I'm very limited as to where I can go... being that I'm just 3 months away from being able to just legally stand inside most bars. So I often go to one of the many coffee shops near the university, read a book, and wait for some interesting girl to walk past... if I manage to get my courage up, I'll ask her if she would like to join me to coffee. So far, it has been pretty uneventful. It is a feat finding someone who you are compatible with, but it is hard enough just finding a girl who is single... not to mention single and interested in you simply upon the first impression. I don't like clubs, and I don't like places that play bad music... and to my opinion, about 90% of the places that young people haunt are often places that play bad music. So for me personally, there arn't many social settings to meet girls my age.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

early sex in the relationship Posted: 5/31/2005 6:08:21 AM
It can be all of the above, good, bad, or indifferent... depending on the people in question. The biggest problem is misunderstandings due to a standoff'ish sentiment about making your interests known in the beginning... so both people assume that it's either a one night stand, friends with benefits, still just dating, or a relationship. A pleasant outcome relies upon the luck that both people are actually seeking the same thing.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Miscellaneous Dating Questions by Me. Posted: 5/30/2005 11:54:08 AM
clears throat Sorry Msreddress, I have to disagree with you on your opinion of younger men and independent women. Speaking as a younger man of course, I prefer independent women. Why would I want an anchor when I could have a partner? Not that I am saying all men my age do, but please don't stereotype us.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 111 (view)

Why do older women attract more younger men then men their own age? Posted: 5/30/2005 11:41:20 AM
Though that was a woman who was twice my age. I don't consider a woman as an "older woman" unless she is at least 11 years my senior. I can easily see myself with someone between the ages of 18-30. Some people consider an "older" man or woman as one who is only a few years older than themselves, and decades for others.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 110 (view)

Why do older women attract more younger men then men their own age? Posted: 5/30/2005 11:25:16 AM
Sometimes because many women my age go straight for middle aged men, thinking that age is a ranking of maturity. One of the reasons why I have tried hitting on older women was due to a lack of common interests between the girls my age (who I was meeting) and myself. I think I mainly wanted to experience something unique, where two people could bridge a generation gap. I didn't expect any sort of ever lasting romantic relationship to form, just something worth remembering that could give me a smile, later many years down the road... and hopefully for her as well. A young guy watches the graduate and gets all sorts of crazy ideas.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

chivarly Posted: 5/30/2005 10:57:50 AM
My own form of "chivalry" is in that of mutual devotion. I never took to the whole manservent idea behind being traditional. My principle is that I never be false in my identity, like those who wish to coax a more favorable outcome by ways of deceit. Ironically, that entails not opening the car door for her, because my car has automatic locks for crying out loud.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

annoying half-ass compliments Posted: 5/30/2005 10:42:33 AM
Meaning that you would prefer false flattery? It sounds more like people who are afraid to out and out say what is on their mind, if it means offending someone. Those who give half assed compliments usually arn't giving complements in the first place.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Miscellaneous Dating Questions by Me. Posted: 5/30/2005 10:04:53 AM
The truth is that there are exceptions to every question you asked. I can only answer from my personal insight. A) Personally, I don't see myself as a father figure. Also because the world is very overpopulated and will continue to grow if things keep they way that they are. Money also comes into question... I won't be able to buy my 2k+ sq ft dream house any time soon, seeing that even the average house price in this country is now in the low $200,000's. I just don't think I should have a child only because I could. B) They are most likely attracted to the woman in question and fear that they would just remain as the friend. C) Well I'm not exactly an older man in regards to the dating world... but of the few independent women I've met, they didn't want anything to do with me. D) Most people want to be right, and want others to confirm that they are. I don't think it is a matter of intelligence, but an argument where neither side is willing to yield, nor meet half way. Some people are incapable of agreeing to disagree. E) I don't fit that particular age group, though I am not attracted to excessively skinny women. I don't think that men in that age group are drawn to it, I just think many people are easily influenced by what the media portrays as the aesthetics of beauty.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Why isn't it called a Posted: 5/30/2005 9:36:08 AM
Though the task to invite someone out on the first date is usually left up to men. To me, the logic behind the one who invites has to pay, is a loophole to get out of paying as gracefully as possible. It isn't the thought of spending money on somebody you just met that is the point, but the idea that you have to spend money on them just to spend time with them, a person you just met none the less... sorry, but that just feels kind of sleazy. I don't like the thought of having to buy my dates. I'm all for treating somebody to dinner, but not a person I just met.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 87 (view)

No picture equals something to hide? Posted: 5/29/2005 7:06:55 AM
No picture in profile = I don't want my friends seeing me on a dating site. Hahaha

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

What floats your boat... Non Sexually? Posted: 5/29/2005 7:04:32 AM
A girl who actually likes classical music and oldies. I cannot say that enough. I met a girl like that in a coffee shop, who was in my immediate age range. I nearly split my face open from side to side from smiling so damn hard, after she mentioned that. Oddly enough, nothing ever developed between us. It just left me scratching my head... she was smiling and laughing more than I was. It ended before it started with "Well I'll contact you if I ever have plans to go out." :_:

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Your best rejection experience Posted: 5/29/2005 6:49:06 AM
Best? Not sure if I have a best, but I'll try. I was in a book store and saw a cute girl. She joined her friend kneeling on the floor reading books. I mustered my courage, approached, and said what I always say when I don't know what to say, "Would you like to join me to coffee." Although I didn't really make it apparrant which girl I was asking, or if I was asking both of them. They kind of sat there with a deer in the headlights stare, and one said, "uhhhhhhhh, no." I shrugged my shoulders said "Ohwell." Then left. Sorry, that's all I could think of. I was just so damn happy to actually hear "no", instead of "Oh I have a boyfriend." Or be shown the ring finger that was previously concealed. It can make a fella kind of suspicious, whether or not said woman has a boyfriend or husband... if she was just saying that so she won't have to directly reject anyone. After hearing that by every woman you introduce yourself to for a few months, you tend to wonder about it.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

What do you really have to have in common? Posted: 5/29/2005 6:26:51 AM
Agnosticism for one. Someone who is laid back although punctual, light hearted if you will. It would help if she actually liked classical and oldies. Sounds silly, but I can't stand the music these crazy kids listen to these days. I feel like some disgruntled old man telling kids to get off my damn lawn, stuck in the body of a young man.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Why isn't it called a Posted: 5/29/2005 1:31:16 AM
I was kind of making a buffer zone around the usual dinner first date price. Depending on the place, and what is ordered. It can be as much as $30 and up to around $50, excluding 4 and 5 star restaurants. I was kind of shocked to hear so many men and women say that they don't go dutch. I see a date as two single people enjoying one anothers company, not as a free meal, movie, show, etc... at the other person's expense. I still don't see what is wrong with coffee. The only objection I see is that people think that it is too casual and doesn't cost enough money. The point of coffee isn't exactly the coffee itself, but a place to sit and talk... the coffee is merely a yummy bonus.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Why isn't it called a Posted: 5/28/2005 5:59:19 AM
Maybe they would be referred to as dates again, if more guys planned dates instead of seeing how cheap and lazy they could get away with being. I mean c'mon, a cup of coffee? Please! Okay, I'll give it a go. What if coffee was planned? I mean c'mon, shelling out $30-$50 to be "graced" with the likes of one you just met? Please! Though if we're talking even terms, such as going dutch, I'm game for that... but if it is implied that said guy pay for her way, then how cheap and lazy does that make her? All I can say about the non-date is that it is a safety. It can be used as a way to indirectly dump someone. Instead of just going on a date and having to say you arn't interested, if it comes to that, you can just say "It wasn't a date, we were just hanging out." Then lead them on as the unsuspecting "friend", until their queries as to was "this" is gives grounds to break all relations. Though if you are interested, you can attempt to venture into the next stage as a couple. Another way people try to have their cake and eat it too.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

coin toss Posted: 5/22/2005 5:19:13 AM
Well you know how hard it can be to approach a complete stranger, so this is what I have started to do. I just flip a coin. If it comes up heads, I introduce myself and ask them out no matter what... if it comes up tails, I don't, without any regrets. It sounds silly, but it helps me for some stupid reason. I don't believe in fate or destiny, though it gives me an exscuse to do or not.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 59 (view)

Top 10 or 3 Ways You've BLOWN lol a DATE Posted: 5/19/2005 7:19:12 AM
Well since this thread has been flipped around to, "It's not me, it's you." I guess I can join in as a little less guilty of thread highjacking Lets see, how some of my dates have blown it... When a girl didn't bring any money when we were simply going out for coffee, and obligated me to spare her embarrassment by paying for her after the cashier rang it up. It's a buck seventy six for crying out loud... we live in the year 2005, either go dutch or go home. When a girl asked me if I ever wanted to have kids someday. It kind of caught me off guard though I answered an honest no... which seemed to catch her off guard, haha. When a girl asked if I ever planned on getting married. You can probably see the pattern here. When a girl flat out told that she wants to wait until marriage. Despite the fact that I did not inquire, nor hint towards bedroom antics of any kind... and the basic fact that I don't plan on getting married kind of sent the whole thing into the junk heap.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Just a thought....just a thought. Posted: 5/18/2005 3:24:09 AM
Hmmmmm, hard to say. I don't play online games anymore, so thats gone. If I was regularly seeing someone exclusively, this site would be the last thing I would visit. There are still some sites I like to visit from time to time. Like the darwin awards, rotten, something awful, PBF, and a few others I'm probably forgetting. So I would answer yes and no.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Top 10 or 3 Ways You've BLOWN lol a DATE Posted: 5/18/2005 3:19:49 AM
I think it is too difficult for people to discredit themselves, as well as being able to recognize their shortcomings. Also, it is sometimes hard to know what the other person dislikes if they never bring any of it up. I can be an example of this. I can only say that I am not sure if I have blown a date, though I probably have. I only know that I have blown dates for myself, and not the other person, as arrogant as that might sound. I am the type of person who does not hold doors open on the first date for the sake of "That is what guys are supposed to do." Sorry, my name is not Jeeves, I date as an equal and not as a subservient butler... of course, once I betrayed myself by instinctfuly opening and holding open a door for my date. Christ was I ever disillusioned afterwards. Perhaps my not holding open doors has blown dates, but I could care less if it has.

caffein n nicotine

Joined: 2/2/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

They stop the reply for reply but I can't see why Posted: 5/18/2005 2:42:58 AM
Many people seem to have an instinct to **stardize those who don't submit to their unspoken rules. You might be perceived as withdrawn if you don't do everything to their liking as far as initiation and following frequency, or pushy if you exceed their personal pace. All of which is never told to the other, but is one sidedly written off as common sense, when in fact it is personal preference. People are more prejudicial than they truely know.

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