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Thread: the best michael jackson joke

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

the best michael jackson joke Posted: 7/6/2009 9:31:05 PM
Haha...nice, lots of good ones, though I think the first is the best.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

How do I tell a man... Posted: 7/31/2007 12:44:25 AM
Just be straightforward. I don't mean to sound callous, but as long as he's not some kind of sissy he'll appreciate you looking out for him. Just make sure you're not too demeaning about it; nobody likes to be told they smell like a skunk in heat, haha.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Do guys not have a sense of humor or are they just INSANE??? Posted: 7/31/2007 12:41:48 AM
Yeah, that's more than a little bit ridiculous. I'd be careful about what information you give him.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Cheesy biscuits...what else?? Posted: 7/31/2007 12:34:18 AM
So, I was out a couple weeks ago at Red Lobster. I love those cheese biscuits! Does anyone know any other similar surprisingly simple and tasty food that doesn't take a lot of time to cook? I find I don't always have the time or inclination to cook a huge meal, and just want a little snack to tide me over.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Your parent's political affiliation versus yours Posted: 7/31/2007 12:29:37 AM
My parents are complete opposites (mother, left - father, right) on the political spectrum. I think more influential than my parent's political views is my birth order (right smack in the middle of 7 boys). It pretty much demands that I be able to understand everyone's point of view, so I can't really claim to be fully committed to one side or another, though I lean a bit to the right.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Why We Love Children.... Posted: 7/2/2007 3:10:42 PM
Haha...that second line really gives the wrong idea.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/27/2007 12:35:20 PM
Thanks, yeah, I think you're right. We met 2 days ago and she said she still had feelings for her ex. I'd just as soon not go over the whole thing again in the interest of moving on. Thanks for all the advice and input everyone, it was much appreciated.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/24/2007 7:52:12 PM
Well, I'm sad to say you may not be getting those cookies after all, Cosmic . I'll give a little update: I'm beginning to think I'm being strung along or used. I'm not really sure what went wrong, but it's changed pretty drastically since my last post. Perhaps my feelings for her were altering my perception. There hasn't been much interaction between us during the past week or so. I talk to her almost daily, but she tends to cut the conversations short. Several times she has told me she will call back about possibly going out, but doesn't. We seem to spend more time talking about what she needs to do than anything else, and definitely spend more time doing things for her than hanging out. Examples: Her car needed to be towed with an hour forewarning or the police would tow it, I called in some favors and got a flatbed Kenworth to tow her car with. She got a speeding ticket, I sent it to a lawyer I know to do free of charge. She needed a Hep A shot, I took her to get a shot at cost...stuff like that. It's not that I mind doing these things - quite the contrary, being able to help her with anything and everything makes me happy - but I haven't even seen her prior to my last post here except to tow her car then drive her to a medical clinic. She refers to future outings she'd like to go to (Six Flags, concerts, etc., that I'd pay for) but she doesn't seem interested in just hanging out. She canceled a date we had. She hasn't been incredibly busy, she just prefers to go out with other people. It seems to me she just isn't interested, except in what I can do for her. I'm not going to stop talking to her, but I think I should treat her more like a friend and less like my "special someone". Sucks. I guess I'll take a hint and try to make some new friends/meet new people, make some people laugh, or do something productive, just something to get my mind off her. Maybe I'll update my profile on here and post an up-to-date picture (I started working out since my pictures were taken...4 months ago?). I'd love a good laugh right now, but it looks like all the comdies in the theatres are romantic-comedy...not exactly what I'm looking forward to, given the situation, lol.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Sounds painful Posted: 6/20/2007 1:22:13 PM
If there's any karma in the world, those guys still have something coming to them, although this would be a little step in making the Catholic church pay for hiding it for all those years. Damn hypocrites. In retrospect, I was thinking of a different bill when I made my first post. Oh well. I am a religious person, but I don't "hate" homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. I've had friends who were gay/bi, and while it's really gross, my disgust never manifested itself in more than some goofy jokes; like "hey, if you hit on me again you're walking home". I don't define a person by their sexuality. That said, I do tend to forget that there are people who do define a person by their sexuality, like that church of crazies who goes to soldiers funerals with "God hates gays" signs and other despicable literature. I'm pretty sure God is cool with everyone, unless I missed something fundamental in the Bible. If people are really getting that fired up against homosexuality from their church - and their church alone - then I'd bet there is a problem that needs to be dealt with there. The thing is, I haven't heard of any murders involving Christian zealots seeking to purge the world of homosexuals. I'm sure they have happened before, but there definitely isn't some overwhelming anti-homosexual public attitude that threatens their community. So why this legislation now? Why this recent focus on "hate crimes" with homosexuals in regards to Christianity? A couple weeks ago I read about a 13 year old girl who was sent to a juvenile detention center WITHOUT BAIL for passing out fliers that read "God hates fags", as a way of insulting someone she was arguing with - simple teenage girl drama. Murderers and rapists get sent to jail with bail, but a 13 year old who passed out fliers making stupid comments to make fun of someone doesn't get bail? The courts priorities seem out of place.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

The right to hate Posted: 6/20/2007 10:48:05 AM
There is no right to tax people on their religious views. Period. As a previous poster said, this is alot of liberal crap that irritates me to no end. There have been several items introduced recently that deal with the issue of "hate", and I'm not entirely sure how hate is defined in these bills. I do know that when we introduce special repercussions protecting these people of minority groups we raise them up a level and make the normal, productive, non-deviant civilians 2nd rate citizens. Example: Someone steals a TV because they want it. 4 years in jail. Someone steals a TC because the owner is gay. 8 years in jail, because they did it out of "hate". Does that make any sense at all? If someone commits a crime, they are punished for the CRIME, not the motive. The government is NOT the morals police, to be judging what is socially acceptable. This all seems to incredibly ridiculous me, but I watched the Democratic debates the other day, and only ONE person agreed that "English should be the official language of the U.S." It was then I realized how out of touch I am with the left, even though I define myself as a moderate. Many liberal politicians want big brother (a term I never thought I'd actually use, by the way) to play the role of hallway monitor throughout our lives. Anyways...Ron Paul (a Libertarian) had a nice write up on this topic. I'll stop now before I rant even more, lol.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 208 (view)

Favorite Shirts with Words Posted: 6/20/2007 10:35:47 AM
"Jesus is my homeboy", complete with a picture of J.C. himself.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 123 (view)

Top few things that turn you off about women Posted: 6/20/2007 10:34:29 AM
1. Cruel 2. The combination of arrogance and ignorance 3. Aloof 4. Promiscuous To sum it up, Paris Hilton. Hehe.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

when you're bored do you end it or wait for her to take a hint!? Posted: 6/20/2007 10:29:07 AM
I think it's important to do things face-to-face, and be direct. I've been on the opposite end, and it sucks being strung along. I think hiding and avoiding someone is in a word; "chickenshit".

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

What makes a woman approachable? Posted: 6/20/2007 10:25:10 AM
For me, it's body language more than anything. Smiles, positioning of the shoulders and hips, eye contact, etc. If there's an activity or conversation to jump in on, it's almost like an invitation.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Do stupid girls annoy you? Posted: 6/20/2007 10:22:52 AM
OP Yes, very much so.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How do you rate pics? Posted: 6/20/2007 10:22:34 AM
A little bit of both...people take pictures from angles that can be deceiving (MySpace above the head picture comes to mind) so that's something I watch out for. When you say quality of the picture do you mean the detail level of the camera or the lighting, pose, clothing, etc?

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/19/2007 5:17:47 PM
Hi everyone, here's a little update if you're interested: We've spent 4 of the past 7 days together, as friends, but it's obvious she's starting to lose the will to stay away from me - I say obvious because she told me as much. Last night she fell asleep watching tv with me, which was great. I think there's a couple things that contributed to this progression: A: I'm showing how much I adore her...little things that stack up. B: I took her out Friday to a bar my brother runs and a couple girls were hitting on me. A very good looking girl even slipped her phone # in my pocket while she had her friend distract L. I told L about it and showed her the #. She thought it was funny but I could tell it got her attention. C: She's realized how long I've liked her. D: I've put no pressure on her at all. We've gotten to the point where everything is out in the open between us, she knows how I feel and how long I've felt this way. She's told me she is very interested, but she's leaving the country to visit some family for a month or two. She leaves in 3 weeks. What she's basically said is that she wants to hold off on a relationship 'til she gets back, which I think is a smart move. I wouldn't want to just start our relationship then possibly have it get screwed up by the distance factor, plus I think the time to put herself back together completely would be good. It's hard to wait though, and we're at the point where we both have difficulty holding off on that sort of thing. Every time we go out we get a little bit closer to intimacy. She hasn't told me to wait, but she refers to things we will do when she gets back from her trip; dancing, dates, etc. She's acknowledged that she's put me in a tough spot by not committing to anything, and I have to agree. I don't know whether to wait around a few more months for her...I want to, but I was in a previous off-and-on relationship in which I was strung along for over a year, and nothing came of it. I won't allow someone to take advantage of my good nature again. On a side note, I've been told by everyone I've asked advice from on this situation that I think and analyze way too much. I can't really disagree. Cosmic: I've noticed that phenomenon you spoke of...I never understood the group bathroom trips, haha. The way things are going, you're first analysis of the situation seems to be panning out. I hope you're ready for some cookies a1n2a: I'm hoping that's what will happen while she's away with family. Yankee: That's what I'm trying to do for the most part, although I don't know that I could sit by while she goes to someone else considering some of the things she's said to me and where we currently stand. It just wouldn't sit right with me. Sunlove: It makes perfect sense, although it's taken me awhile to fully realize it. Crystal: I think you're right...there's definitely some issues between her, her ex, and her friends. Her ex was waiting at her neighbor's house when I dropped her off on Friday. I asked her if she wanted me to stick around, but she said it would be too awkward...can't say I disagree (reminder: she broke up with him). Thanks for the compliment Eldu: She's definitely worth it. The concern is whether she will still want to follow through when she gets back from her 2 months away. Package: I know what I want, and I've told her what I want. There's no pressure on her, I'm waiting patiently. If we don't move beyond friends, things would be very awkward - as it is when any person rejects another - but at least I'll know that I did everything I could. I didn't hold anything back.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/13/2007 12:35:49 AM
Valeeshka: I didn't respond to everyone's posts in order, so I missed a couple as I went through. I don't mean to disregard your comment, but I don't think it offers me any further insight into my current situation, though I do appreciate the goodwill. Piano: The whole college debauchery thing never appealed to me. I've worked my way through college doing construction, IT, and a number of other odd jobs - I didn't have time for that lifestyle. I guess it's obvious that I'm rather proud of it. She's of like mind, so I'm not concerned with that sort of thing. MissRight: Thanks! Fancypants: Nice analogy...the problem I have dating other people while I'm fixated on L is that I'd be potentially putting someone else in the situation I am currently in. It's not something I'd wish on someone I like...my inner idealist and all. Cosmic: That's what I'm reallllly hoping for. If you're right, I'm buying you some chocolate macadamia nut cookies, haha. Creativeguy: You've obviously put a fair amount of time in trying to open my eyes, and covered every angle. I'll try not to get a defensive bias, heheh. As cute as she thought I was, if she had cheated on me with her boyfriend I would have lost all interest in her; I'm glad she didn't drop her boyfriend as soon as I walked into her life. The boyfriend thing wasn't an excuse, it was a commitment she made, and I respect her for it as much as it irks me. As far as the physical contact goes, I should have mentioned that it has been a progressive thing, initially manifesting in simply sitting with little space between us, no hesitance to move within my "personal" space (note: I didn't observe this with anyone else). I would have agreed with you on the friend/"blocker" - even though she would've likely been very bored without her friend - except her friend did no blocking at all, and they stayed later than anyone else. She seemed more there to get a second opinion... as I am doing now, with you. She agreed to dinner before she knew there would be other people with us. I would have preferred to be alone with her, but my priority was making her comfortable with coming to my place (she lives in the county, I live in the city). I see and acknowledge your points about what she said, but I'm trying not to overanalyze what she's said. I listened to her, and yes, I did buy her story. I'm trusting her. If I'm wrong, then I suppose I'll come out of this slightly more jaded and a bit wiser. I hope you're wrong though; this is one situation I'd prefer to remain ignorant and blissful, with her. You've got sound advice all around though, grazie.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/12/2007 5:32:35 PM
Blargh, missed LDYnBLK: The idealist in me completely agrees with you. The pragmatist in me tells me to suck it up and move on. Either way, I'm going to give her space and let her know she needs to give me a signal if it's going to happen.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/12/2007 5:30:00 PM
There needs to be an Edit function on these forums so I don't need to make two posts in a row... Urano: You just voiced my biggest concern. I hope you're wrong. DFW: She dated him at least 7 months, since I've known her and then some. It could have been even longer, but since she never talked about him, I definitely was not one to put the spotlight on him. It's only been 3 weeks since she broke up with him, so I'm hoping she's just avoiding me as a stepping stone on the rebound. I wonder if it's wishful thinking.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/12/2007 5:25:24 PM
First off, I want to thank everyone for the input. Kain: Yeah, distractions would be nice right now. I work at a bar and meet plenty of girls there...I wish it was Friday, just to have some new people to shoot the breeze with. Kame: It would be easier, but it would force her to make a decision. I don't think that would be wise for me so soon after she broke up with her last boyfriend. Shemail: Your name scares me. Sound advice, though. LFMK: I'm hoping you're right. She's called me twice today and last night she made inferences to future...outings. I hesitate to say "dates" as the comments were made immediately after the conversation we had. Seeker: Ditto your situation, although it was my only love (I don't know if I love L, but it's pretty friggin' close) in high school about 6 years ago, she's married with a kid now. Then again, Lord only knows if it was love, I was so young. Skium: I see what you're saying, but that just isn't my style. I tend to be very direct and genuine; I go straight for what I want. Anything else just sticks in my craw...she knows this, and may interpret it as actual hostility. Chad and Chip: Nice...very classy. If only it were that easy, haha. The levity is much appreciated. Miss C22: I'm a bit of a forum newbie, so I'm not sure what OP means. I'm definitely trying to take my mind off her, but I'd also like to keep her as a friend...but I don't know that I possess the constitution for such a situation.

Joined: 3/26/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Need outside opinions. Posted: 6/12/2007 1:14:06 PM
Just a warning, this is a bit of a read. If anyone cares to offer some serious counsel I'd appreciate it. So...I met this girl (let's call her "L") about 7 months ago in my final semester at college and it was one of those instant attraction things. L isn't incredibly buxom, skinny, exotic, or anything. She doesn't resemble anyone I know, or remind me of anyone. I haven't been able to pinpoint what drew me to her and what continues to attract me with such force. She walked into class on the first day, sat down next to me, and we hit it off well. She invited me to sit next to her in another course we happened to have together...over the course of the semester we became good friends. About 2 months into the semester (I didn't wanna screw up the friendship and all that, so I took my time and made sure I liked her enough to risk it) I asked her out. I was pretty friggin' surprised when she told me she had a boyfriend - considering she'd never mentioned him once, and there was a fair amount of acute touching between us; walking very close together/arm in arm, no awkwardness in personal space, etc. She said she wanted to just keep it to friends. I was fine with that. I managed to reconcile my feelings for her, started dating someone else, and distanced myself from her to avoid becoming attached. Over the next 3 months or so my will crumbled a bit, and if we were on campus we were hanging out together, although we didn't hang out much outside school (because she had a boyfriend and I didn't want to overstep my bounds). It wasn't until about 2 months ago that we started talking on the phone often. Well, about 3 weeks ago I was dating someone that I just wasn't compatible with and broke it off. I happened to talk to L the next day and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. I asked her if she wanted to get lunch. She suggested dinner the following day instead. I was ecstatic. The next day she cancelled, saying she "didn't want to make a mistake" (I'm not sure if I would've been the mistake, or if getting involved during a "rebound" would be the mistake). I persisted and stayed in contact. Two day ago I invited her to a party with my friends and family as a very casual thing. She came and brought a friend, and was the last to leave (encouraging, right?). Last night we went out and played some batting cages, air hockey, fun stuff, then went back to my place where we did a little double date with my cousin and his girlfriend. Made food, watched a movie, we all had a great time. As I was taking her home, we began talking and our relationship of course popped up. She did not say she wanted to keep it to friends, but she said things like "I don't know what I want right now", "I don't want to rush into anything", and "I want to take it slow". I immediately took it as a "I'm not interested in you in that way", primarily because it was my biggest fear (I've been in the friend zone for months and months so I've had my doubts about being able to escape its grasp). I didn't say much, and I could tell she felt bad, though I told her I appreciated her candor in being straightforward. I spent most of the morning hours banging my head on the wall (figuratively) for spending so much time and effort on a wasted endeavor, but this morning I began to second guess my first reaction...interpreting her words literally, without looking too much into them. Anyways, if anyone bothered to read through this long post, I'd appreciate some comments. Do you think she's not interested and being nice, or she actually just wants to take it slow? Either way, she still wants to socialize with me...but if she's not interested in me that way, I won't be able to handle being close, but not close enough. I'll have to break it off entirely. I have to confess, my first reaction was to call her and tell her how strongly I feel for her, but I opted against that as she just recently got out of a long relationship. Instead I sent her a little message along the lines of "we don't need to go fast or not at all, we can go slow".

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