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kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Future Republican Party Chairman? Oops... Posted: 12/28/2008 12:03:41 AM
In as much as I did think the song was in poor taste and not really funny, this is actually a pretty accurate comment: If Chris Rock had sang this song everybody would have found this hilarious. I get tired of the double standard too. Though Chris Rock is a comedian and not a politician (let's be honest, there is a big difference in terms of what you can get away with), it wouldn't hurt to level the playing field a little in terms of political correctness in the other direction. I don't think people would be so sensitive and quick to cry racism themselves if they were put in that position.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

horses a turn-off?? Posted: 12/27/2008 11:53:46 PM
I agree, it seems as though pretty much every girl I knew was at least into horses at some point. I don't think it's any different then a young girls interest in princesses, quite common. OP, I've never heard this about woman and horses or that they are something to "watch out" for, so I am not sure I agree many guys think they are a turn off (or a turn on, for that matter). Oddly enough though, I have noticed that people with more than 2 cats seem to be a little off, and I never really heard anything about that either (aside from the crazy cat lady, which I always assumed to be a joke)- but rather, I made this connection on their own with 3 or 4 girls I have dated with a bunch cuts- who were just .. well.. off. It's almost as if they are trying to fill their life with living creatures that can't leave them. I think it's a safe bet to say that while the gesture may be very sweet, anybody I've known who had a ton of pets in general, is usually a little weird. But I've never heard or experienced anything with horse owners specifically.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Challenge Posted: 12/27/2008 11:47:00 AM
It has always fazed me how men don't realize a simple " My name is ____, how are ya?" and just being yourself is the best way to introduce yourself. No offense, but this is pretty horrible advice on the end of the spectrum and why I usually tell my guy friends not to take dating advice from women (or to at least be careful about it). I've actually known a ton of woman that- when discussed logically- would state their preferences almost exactly the opposite of what they actually liked and were attracted to in practice. Introductions are appropriate after there is a "reason" to know somebody- after you've had a brief conversation or if you're being introduced by a friend. Fact of the matter is, if some random guy came to you, extended in his had, and said "Hi, my name is..." -- you're gut reaction in your mind would be "Ok, who the hell is this guy and why is he introducing himself to me? Is he trying to sell me something? Is he the manager of this place?" I want a guy who wants me for me not cuz he would think I am a challenge...get over yourself!" Some men are weird! If people are not a little challenging to each other in a relationship, one quickly gets the upper hand and it becomes stale and boring. I agree with you that constant sarcasm and witty comebacks cant get old- not talking about that so much. But people are usually NOT attracted to those that are push overs (especially when it's men). I am still not backing the OP on his horrible example- LOL. But the reality is, 9 out 10 guys who approach a woman will just be "nice" and all blend together. That 10th guy, who has a bit of an edge to him and challenges her a bit, will likely get her attention- at least enough to look into it further.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

May I Have a Word? Posted: 12/27/2008 12:19:15 AM
I know a word for these types...cell phone users. It depends on the situation, but I am kinda with this guy in the situations I've had it happen. I've seen this trait quite a bit in women, where they will kind of call to talk about nothing in particular, while they are driving home from work or waiting for a car repair, etc. In the situations where it's obvious that this is going on, yes it can be annoying- not so much that I feel used, but more because they assume because they have absolutely nothing to do that at moment, they it's ok to waste my time as well (particularly if I am working, etc). If someone thought as well of me I'd be flattered. This is another way of looking at it, and again depends on the person. But it seems as though the same girls would do it regularly, so sincerity is going a little over the top- they were bored. I literally watched one girl clamoring for attention - while she was next to me walking on tread mill of all things- go through and call one person after another, and talk until they basically let her go. Then she'd call someone else and have the same inane conversation. After about the fifth call (and 30 minutes), I was about ready to rip the cell phone from her hands and throw it in the Olympic size pool down the hall.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Is he REALLY not out off by my weight or does he think im kidding? Posted: 12/27/2008 12:01:52 AM
do guys take it seriously when a girl tries to make it clear that theyre not skinny? I am not gonna give you the sunshine and rainbows answer here. Just some helpful advice based on my online dating experience. I learned pretty early on not to "highlight" your insecurities before meeting. All you're really doing is drawing attention to what they may have never noticed anyway, or making yourself look insecure. I am not saying don't be honest about it. I am just saying don't dwell on it, or mistakenly think that by forewarning them about something like your weight, that it's out in the open and therefore is a non issue. The fact of the matter is people may make a verbal commitment like "Oh, a few extra pounds isn't a big deal" - but they reality is, they are going to make that determination when they meet you- no matter what they said before. For the record, you don't look overweight in the photos- so I think you're description sounds accurate with a few extra pounds, if any. But also for the record, those really are not pictures of your body, IMO. I don't blame you for not wanting to waste your time w/guys who may think a few extra lbs is a deal breaker, so I'd get 1 or 2 completely full body shots. Lastly- if all you got is a few extra pounds, just lose 'em. And won't be as hard as you think, and you won't have to worry about any of this.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Challenge Posted: 12/26/2008 6:41:24 PM
Sorry, I am kicking down the Ask A Girl door to chime in on this one. You're not horribly off the mark, you just need to fine tune it. Your example is just not a great one, but I see what you're trying to do, and it's just being taken a little too literally here. It is very much OK to flirt with women this way... think of it more in terms of playful teasing. But not as an opening line- unless it's a really good one and worth the gamble- wait until you've developed a few minutes of rapport before you start joking around like this, the same way you would if you were gonna make comment like that to a friend. And remember the premise is that it's supposed to be funny, or at the least, mildly amusing- this was not. I doubt you'd offend anyone- but this specific example reeks of "trying to hard"- she'd probably throw you an obviously fake smile, tie her shoe for the purposes of avoiding eye contact, and be thankful that she had her running shoes on so she could run as fast as she could, before you could make the next awkward comment.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

A clue please Posted: 12/26/2008 6:28:29 PM
I don't usually automatically assume the "married" card like a lot of overly bitter and suspicious people in the forums tend to do. But this one is a bit odd, more in terms of how long it's gone on- take your pick of one or more of the following- no matter, your course of action is all the same: 1- He's married. 2- He's not that interested. 3- He's serial dating- someone else has his attention he's and keeping you on the back burner. Ditch him.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Magical Kool-Aid??? Posted: 12/26/2008 3:03:10 PM
i find this very frustrating. i personally expect a man to be able to email me, talk to me, and plan a date accordingly.....without me having to spoonfeed them. thoughts? I don't think you're going to get much sympathy from most of the guys on here, OP. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones when it comes to online dating- I go out on dates, I meet lots of cool and interesting people-just haven't found the one yet. But even as someone in my situation, it is kind of staggering the amount of non-responses you experience. I am ok with it, I'd rather not waste too much time with idle chit chat if the girl isn't really interested. Anyway, my point is- I find myself going back and forth in periods where I will send out messages, to other times where I just wait for the messages to come. Guess you could say it depends on my mood. Your attitude seems to suggest (and your not alone) very much a "I'll sit back wait for them to impress me" type of logic. And while that will probably work in some cases, a lot of people like me just don't have time and energy for that. All that being said, don't expect of others what you wouldn't expect of yourself. If you're interested, suck it up, and email someone.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is he leading me on, or trying to get over me? Posted: 12/26/2008 2:49:23 PM
It's the kind of things going on in your mind OP that makes me glad I am not in my twenties anymore, and why I won't date woman that are significantly younger (anymore). Not trying to insult you. Just saying you are essentially playing the same little game w/each other, and it's probably going to be give you the same result every time. It doesn't matter what "he" is doing... another aspect of the convoluted thought process that's typical of women your age. Whether he is leading you on or trying to get over you, what difference does it make??? Neither one is a good sign for you, right? So move on.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Clarification... Posted: 12/26/2008 2:41:41 PM
OP, this is actually a good question, because I think you're going to get tons of different responses about what each of these mean (the same as the over done threads about what "a few extra pounds" means)- I think POF overcomplicated a bit with all the different selections. However, I don't think it means all the much at the end of the day. Anyway, I use a few restrictions that are more clear cut- need a photo, can't be married, etc. Besides, if they really want to message you, it takes 2 seconds to change anyway (minus the age filter). So in this case, less is probably more. Depends on your current experience, but if you'd like to make sure you aren't ruling a decent catch out, then I'd say use the filters sparingly.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Is wanting a funny guy just as shallow as wanting a gorgeous girl? Posted: 12/25/2008 5:24:38 PM
They both got diagnosed with cancer within 3 months of each other. They both had a breast removed and went bald from all the treatments, etc. This was many years ago. The one twin... they are still happily married. The other twin??? He bailed... it seems her body made him want to 'hurl'!!! I had a feeling your comments were based on a personal tragedy which is why I said stated that part the way I did- and I am sorry for the experience your friends have had. I knew I should have included this in my post- but I got lazy- I was going to say I was not applying this to situations where people were already together and there was an accident, medical problem, etc. That's a different situation. I assumed we were talking about initial attraction. In your situation, where you've taken the time to get to know and love someone and then bail- then yes, it's shallow.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Is it ever ok to exchange numbers with an attractive person, when exclusive with someone else? Posted: 12/25/2008 2:09:39 PM
The fact that you made it a point to say the person was "attractive"- as opposed to just someone you got along with- makes me think you are not being honest with yourself about your motives. But maybe you just "pleasant" person? Anyway, so you have no plans to make a move on this woman? I supposed technically, no, there is nothing wrong with it if your s/o knows about it. But don't be surprised if she doesn't to share your sentiments in the real world. For what it's worth- I suspect a lot of affairs start with people who truly believe they have pure intentions (going to lunch w/ someone one they find attractive at work, flirting with them, etc- believing that that are truly "just friends") - but continually place themselves in compromising positions until something does happen. It's kind of like being on a restricted but keeping your fridge full of dessert foods as a ongoing temptation. Until you take a bite, you technically haven't "cheated" (pun intended)- but I don't like your chances for success much.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Is wanting a funny guy just as shallow as wanting a gorgeous girl? Posted: 12/25/2008 2:00:52 PM
THAT IS YOUR FACT OF LIFE! DON'T SPEAK FOR MINE! (I actually consider YOUR remarks SHALLOW) So you're saying that you would date someone you find physically unattractive and you consider that shallow? Sorry, but it more or less is fact with 99% of people, and if it's completely irrelevant to you, you're likely not being honest with yourself- or you have some seriously extenuating circumstances that make you feel this way. And I will add my 2 cents on the moral aspect as well- taken to extremes, yes it's shallow. But sitting across the table from them at breakfast and feeling like you're ready to hurl at the site of them- not so shallow. I agree with the comment that more or less said funny doesn't necessarily mean stand up comedian. It's a moral general term used to describe a sharing of view points, and someone who doesn't take themsevles too seriously. Next thing you know you'll be saying that someone being "boring" isn't sufficient grounds to not want to hang out with them.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

credit and dating Posted: 12/25/2008 1:36:05 PM
Many good comments here, but Parry's kinda summed it up for me: it depends on the reason. In theory, it shouldnt matter and should be one of the last things considered, if at all. On the other hand, if this person has a chronic history of financial chaos, you'd be foolish to think that it won't effect your life if you have long term intentions with this person. If they can't leave within their means, it could be you with the bad credit next- and all the wonderful arguments that go with it.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

How do I talk to an attractive girl before the exercise class starts? Posted: 12/12/2008 4:49:42 PM
This is why I have a good IPOD and go to a Men's Bodybuilding gym. I do the same thing. I don't want to hear people's conversations or be distracted, so I keep the music cranked up and eye contact minimal (to be fair to the OP though, class situation are a little different). In a way, it's unfortunate because I have met some really cool people at gyms and it's nice to go somewhere and see friendly faces. The draw back was though- by the time I made pleasant small talk with the 4 or 5 people that new in there at any given time, 20, 30, 40 minutes was added to my workout time. When you try to go 5 days a week and have a busy schedule as it is, that's just too much. So once I moved and joined a new gym, I make it a point not to make eye contact and stay focus on what I am doing. That's why I think that eye contact and body language are the keys to telling if someone has interest in social activity- it's easy to spot people who don't want to be bothered. I also agree that you have less of a chance of being bothered as a woman in a mens bodybuilding type gym- wouldn't think that would be the case, but it's generally true. Those guys are more of the mindset I mentioned above- their in there every day for a reason and purpose, not just to be social or because they think they should be in there, the way many people in fitness clubs seem to be.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Advice about neighbours dog?? Posted: 12/12/2008 4:25:23 PM
I am actually gonna try this for my own dog. He used to have a bark collar, and it worked quite well, but they tend to malfunction to often and seem to just stop working altogether (probably because of dirt, water, etc). It's absolutely perfect for the OPs situation, where putting any kind of device on the dog is not an option. Please post the brand the name of this device in this forum when you find out what it is formally called and where it can be obtained. (not joking here- I literally just came inside from letting my dog in who had not been outside all day- who was driving me insane w/ non stop barking the entire 5 minutes he was out there)

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/12/2008 4:16:27 PM
It's does complicate things if you already started the work. You want to get paid for what your time, and if all he did was yell you- though I don't condone it- it could still end well. Barring any other complications that might be involved that we don't know about it, I would finish the work, and make it very clear that next time, he would be waiting. Or alternatively, like I often do- if they are going to be pain in ass customer, then I make them pay for it by charging them more for the job. If they still use you, you know your position is a little stronger, and you're being compensated for the hassle. as a small and medium business owner for the past 25 years it never gets better at the first sign of disrespect to you and your time fire the customer and i mean the first sign send them to your competitors if you do not the problems will just get bigger and bigger a small % will change their attitude and become great customers those that go to your competitors are doing you a great favour they bog your competitors down and leave you free to soar Unfortunately, this most closely mimics my experience in the last 10 years (and I also mentioned it in a previous post in this thread). I've only had a few times where it got better, and most of the time, when it did go bad, I was the one who got screwed for unpaid service. And even those few occassions where it did get better, I wasn't always thrilled to still be there. The clients were still pita's, they just knew not to push my buttons. I might not go so far as to say "fire" them at he first sign of disrespect, as that is sometimes a matter of interpretation- but if definitely means to be on the look out for further behavior and be ready to put your foot down. A bad business relationship can mirror a bad romantic relationship in so many ways, it's sometimes eerie. You want to make sure there's no saving it before you pull the plug and say good bye, but when you're finally out of the relationship and see things more clearly- you realize you should have said goodbye a long time ago. I can also agree that if you're generally doing a decent job taking care of your customers, resources will be freed up from losing these deadbeats, and eventually someone will take their place. A BIG key to this though- and is an even lengthier discussion than this one, so I will be brief here- is setting the tone early. This is going to sound weird, but don't be too eager to please. A lot of people who don't start out as pitas become that way because of how they perceive you and how you react to their demands. Whether it's conscious or not, they will start to see you as a push over if you never draw a line- and will become more aggressive and respect you (and your time) less and less.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 11:37:30 PM
Nothing except self respect, dignity, and a sense of accomplishment. As for anything else, the governement shouldn't feel inclined to give out rewards for people that do what is expected of them either. It's our responsibility to take care of ourselves and our familes. If more people weren't supported by the government for being failures then more people would be forced to be successful as well and society would be better off. But instead it's become about giving handouts at the expense of those who have worked hard to take care of their obligations. Meh, I mean, yeah I get all that. It's pretty much what you've been saying in every post, which like you said, is common sense and I don't think any would really disagree with. The concept I was contemplating when I originally posted was about the discrepancies in the treatment in two failed sectors- and to a lesser extent, would bailing them out make the rest of us any better off. A tale yet to be told. Trust me, on it's own merit, I don't think any would argue they should be "bailed out" (save the possible argument that this is a loan and not a bail out) - but more what's in the best interest of the economy as a whole.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 9:16:22 PM
The other side of the story is people like yourself, Kev.....who have NEVER missed a payment and STILL have their jobs. Why are THEY (and you) not eligible for some 'financial relief'? I totally agree. The middle class is being squashed. Help for the big companies, help for the people don't do sh1t, and nothing for the people who shut up, go to work everyday, and pay their bills (ok, may not shut up, lol).

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 8:18:14 PM
As far as your opinion of the financial bailout and auto bailouts being equally as relevant, well...agree to disagree. But, as I said before, I don't think we should have done either. Fair, but don't you think that there are some industries that are vital to the nation? What if the airlines were to go bust? We've bailed them out in the past, and probably should have. I am a capitalist. I believe in our system, I think it's the "true" way. But there are times- as in the case of monopolies and oligopolies- where it just fails. Bear in mind as well, even the government acknowledges the different set of circumstances regarding oligopolies- the auto airline, auto-industry, utility companies- are still considered these. Lighthouselady made a good point about personal mortgages. That's a tough one. There is part of me that thought- why not put the money in hands of the people in trouble, where they can keep their homes and banks get their money? There is probably some reason that I am not aware of why this wasn't done- aside from the obvious, which is for that those of us who didn't enter into frivolous mortgages would be outraged. I myself having been paying a higher rate so it would remain fixed for 30 years. To be fair though- while the bad lending may have started the ball rolling, now many people who were in stable mortgages are losing their homes as well. This is technically a loan as well, whether it's a good loan or bad loan is anybody's guess- I guess my mindset is I don't know if we can afford not to give it a chance the way things are right now. He is getting F'd big time. My dad is getting hosed too. He put 30 years in at Chrysler as an exec, and I he never said so- but I think he hated every minute of it. They have been picking his pension and benefits apart for a while now, and he was a rank and file guy- wore a tie to work to the tech center, but was pretty low on the food chain.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 7:25:17 PM
^^ Fine, then bail them both out. They are both important. And financial sector is being treated far more importantly in every way. But why give one a giant chunk and tell the other "oh, are you kidding? no way!" The unions will have to make some concessions for sure. In my opinion, they were a good concept gone bad in the case of auto industry. The job bank is absolutely another thing they need to do away with- and even with this loan, there will be (and should be) some job loss. Well, the measure was approved by the House, but needs 60 votes if it's going to pass in the Senate.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 5:55:37 PM
Well, it was gonna be with George Clooney, but if you're gonna get all smarmy on me, forget it then.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 5:42:51 PM
^^LOL. It basically means a condescending attitude, as the tone of the gentleman's comments lead me to believe he was relishing more in pointing out a typo/error than he was making a legitimate point (which eventually did later in the post). Clearly, it did not effect the over all tone of my question. However, if his sole intention was truly just to point out the million/billion dilemma, then it's a non-issue. If you can get us $25 BILLION, the kiss thing is a done deal.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 5:13:16 PM
Actually were all wrong- forgot it's billions, not millions. LOL. No matter, it's percentages I was trying to illustrate. I actually used $25 billion as the figure, because the Ford is claiming it doesn't think it will need it's $9 billion. But even still, we're only talk 4.5%. Not worth debating, the point is a drop in the buck compared to the other dollar figure.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 5:03:56 PM
You're entitled to your opinion about whether any company should get money- and I am kind of torn on the issue myself, and kind of agree with you it's all very complicated. However, you may want to hold off on your smarmy attitude until you've carefully read what I wrote. $750 is what the financial sector has been approved for, though has not all been delivered. I am not even sure why you quoted that. All you've shown me here in that link is the Democrats have agreed on something they can live with- it's still got to be passed. And I can find you 4 other links to online stories that say the republicans are ready to shoot it down. So if you took that article to mean that they were getting the money, then it's you who has misunderstood. It's far from a done deal. And here ya go: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081210/ap_on_go_co/congress_autos

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Any one else confused about this? Posted: 12/10/2008 4:26:04 PM
Technically, I guess this could be a political thread, but I more concerned about how it pertains to the people who will be affected the most, so I thought it appropriate to post it here. In a nutshell: Is anyone else confused- and possibly annoyed- that the government had no problem giving the financial industry $750 million dollars w/ very few restrictions, but is all but ready to veto a bill that provide the automotive industry a measly 3% of that amount to stay on it's feet? My random thoughts: Yes, I know the first loan was unpopular with many people. I myself am not a fan of government intervention in most cases, but I have to admit these are some pretty extreme times we are living in- I am not sure even the experts no what is going to happen. A lot of people keep saying our auto industry is doomed to failed, which I really don't believe- there is a lot of data out there (too much to list) that says otherwise. The fact of the matter, however, is that these financial firms DID fail- there was no maybe about it- and they still loaned them the money. Concerning the money loaned to the financial sector it's pretty unclear as whether or not it accomplished it's goal. The market is up and down, banks still aren't loaning out money- I realize that this could be an argument made against loaning the cars the money too, but I am left thinking- well, we can't do any worse, might as well give these guys their shot. I know what I am about to say here doesn't account for all factors, but more in terms of how things relate to my life is what I am talking about- whether these big wigs on Wallstreet make or lose money on daily has not had a huge effect my everyday life (I know there is a ripple effect, but as of yet it hasn't been earth shattering). The market has been up and down since this happened 3 months ago, they are all complaining about it. But the only thing that's really changed for me is the cost of fuel has gone down dramatically. Partially because demand is down, BUT ALSO- because he banks aren't extending credit to the traders who, in the course of their purchases-create an artificial demand. That's approximately $400 a month that's gone INTO my pocket in the form of fuel savings each month as a result of the them not being able to trade the way they want to, and trust me, I am not complaining. My point about the above is simply this- if these auto companies do go under, the effect will be global and it will be immediate. Not the "paper" losses we're seeing in the financial market. Don't they get that? I am almost saying - hey, so what if they the auto companies DO fail in a year or two from now after they get the money- at least it's not going to happen right now when things are terrible and we might be in a better position to deal with. Like buying time. Lastly, it doesn't seem wise to me that country like the US doesn't produce a car of it's own and is dependent completely on foreign models. Some people say it's the auto industry has to go through this to get stronger and would re-emerge, but others warn that it may take years before an outside source can reign in companies of this size and get them operational, once they are shut down. Anyway, I realize there are opposing arguments- many that I agree with- but I guess I am a little annoyed that they willingly gave this money to finance industry and won't give the auto industry (who truth be told, I am not a fan of) the same chance. And if they do, it's going to be with a billion restrictions and I-told-you-so's that the financial industry never endured. Don't get me wrong- I am not saying I see no merit in giving the financial sector some assistance (there are some maintain they should have gotten nothing, however, and they have a point)- I am just saying the auto industry seems to be taking it on the chin way worse and asking for way less. Seems very hypocritical and unfair. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Advice about neighbours dog?? Posted: 12/10/2008 1:34:10 AM
I do not want to call bylaw. I'd really rather not go there with my neighbours. In the back of my mind I always think, "What if someday I do need them for something?" Although I'm not looking to be close, I'd like to be cordial. Hats off to you for putting a little effort into maintaining good a relationship. I don't understand some people who think it's a good idea to "man handle" a situation with someone who they are going to be living next to for the next 5, 10, 15 years... I agree with the gal above me who said they aren't good dog owners. I have a dog that is part Border Collie, and for the love of god, does he love his own bark. He drives me crazy sometimes. Granted, there will be some barking- but when there is a lot going on outside for him to bark at- neighbors, squirrels, leaves blowing around the yard (you read that right, he barks at moving foliage)- I simply bring him indoors. A pain, because sometimes I know I won't be home for quite sometime and want him to enjoy a little outside time- but as a good neighbor, I don't think my neighbors should have to hear him non stop. I am a little baffled by the suggestions here that you should "talk to the neighbors." Clearly, you've tried that, and they've indicated they don't share your view of the situation. If you bring it up again, it's likely only going to serve to increase tensions anyway. At that point- and I say this as someone who has a barking dog myself- they aren't leaving you much choice but to call the authorities. Put in anonymous complaint and let them handle it. They may suspect you, but odds are, you probably aren't the only one who is being annoyed this, so they won't know for sure. The only other option- in talking to them directly- is really to threaten them with calling, which in my mind will only make matter worse anyway. This is what someone did to me ... because my dog barked a couple times each morning when the paperboy ran up to the house. I had to sleep in the garage for a few nights to make sure she didn't bark, and had to find her another place to stay for a while. This isn't a horrible idea either. When my ex and I split up, she moved to an apartment and took one of the dogs, who was apparently barking quite a bit while she was away. Someone slipped an anonymous typed note under her door, basically saying "your dog is barking all day, please take care of it so we don't have to take further action." They may know it's you, but hopefully they will appreciate the fact that you were taking extra steps so as not to get them into formal trouble. Then again, as I recall, my ex was irritated that someone left the note- until I explained to her that they may have thought they were doing her a favor by first attempting to be nice about it.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/9/2008 10:52:04 PM
Then there are those who say they'll tell all their friends about you and not to patronize you. As you alluded to later in your post, most of the people who have the habit of going off and being unreasonable is a behavior that's well known to their friends and business associates. Odds are, if you are a reasonable business person, and being reasonable to resolve their issue, that you're not the first person that they've threatened "to tell everyone" about. Ever been friend with someone who is always ranting and assailing mutual friends behind their back over petty issues? And you just kind of roll your eyes, even though you are pretending to listen? Same concept at work here. I had one client tell me that an unhappy customer who we previously serviced was trying to get them to use his new IT person (a person that was clueless about the specialized work we do). Not only did my customer brush it off and tell me about it, almost making fun of the situation- he was actually kind of angry with the guy for recommending they entrust their business needs to someone he knew the disgruntled customer really didn't know anything about - just to get back at me. The angry guy had a history of tumultuous relationships and everyone knew about it (including me, he just never turned on me in our 8 year business relationship-up to that point, anyway). Inform them that if they continue to call, you will have them charged with telephone harassment. Actually, you may even be able to go further than that. In the situation I just mentioned, what the guy was doing is called tortious interference with business activity, where they can be sued for damages. I made sure to tell his attorney when we were settling our disagreement out of court, that I considered this matter at rest- and if I heard any more n0nsense of this type, he would be hearing from my attorney. It's a damn shame it has to come to this, but sometimes people are just an adult shell with a mentality of a spoiled child. Thank god I have found most people are not like this.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/9/2008 5:53:48 PM
Would some of you biz owners here agree that it is best to heed those early instincts - when they're telling you that you're dealing with an impossible/nuts/disturbed person? As you become more familiar with what is you do, as you deal with more and more customers- just like the other gal posted, there are definite patterns you can see that seem to be somewhat accurate predictors of customer behavior. I wouldnt define it much differently than I would predicteding the behavior of the guys you date on POF, but maybe a little more accurate than that. When you start dating a guy and everything is going ok-- but you notice he is mean to say, his dog, your first impression would be that he is probably not going to be very nice to you, eventually. Not a 100% certainty, but enough to make you take notice. You won't always be right, but at least you can take steps to protect yourself in case things do go south. Another thing it helps with in my business is pricing. Each system we install is custom- no two are identical, so prices will vary anyway. But what many people who have been in the service industry can tell you (as in contractor services), is prices are usually negotiable to a certain extent. How pliable they end up being will often be a function of many things- how badly the service provider needs the business, whether or not that are busy that time of year, and maybe even if payroll is due next week :) As it applies to this situation- if a customer gives me the vibe that they are going to be a complete pain and make me work for every penny- it doesn't mean I will walk away necessarily, but I will price accordingly (usually by not discounting too much, and in some extreme cases, maybe even charging a little more- though normally your pricing should leave a little wiggle room to come down anyway). Lastly, depending on the type of work you do and if it matters- it doesn't hurt to just ask around to inquire about the persons reputation (the longer you are in business, the more resources you will have for this). In my case, restaurant owners deal with a lot of different companies to maintain there operations and other business owners in the community usually talk to each other, have reputations... even past or former employees can be a source of information. Bad news travels faster than good, if they aren't such a joy to deal with, other people will know.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/9/2008 3:53:15 PM
When I heard this it was with a spin as to how positive a move it was and that Sprint was doing so well financially that they could actually turn away business. The news outlets I heard this on did not mention any public outrage. Your mention of it here is the first I've heard of it. As a Sprint customer myself I understand why they would do this and realize it actually helps keep my phone bills reasonable. Can't understand why any consumer would not see this as well. "Public outrage" may have been too strong of a term for me to use, but the tone of the article (to be fair, the only one I read, which was a yahoo link), was definitely written from the direction of "shock value" and seemed to hint that the customers were somehow treated unfairly. After all, this isn't something you hear about very often, especially with bigger companies. The other, I let go of pretty quickly, because I finally got to the point of just knowing the type, at that point. It's called weeding out the bad, so one can make room for the great ones that keep your business running smooth. So true. It's funny how many times I've been able to spot problematic customers as I've been in the business longer, and also at identifying "turning points" in the business relationship. For example, the first time a customer calls and complains about a rather routine bill or something of that nature. Unfortunately, it usually doesn't get better, so at that point I start getting more vigilant with them about making sure their bills are paid so I am not holding the bag if they go somewhere else for service-which has happened many times

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

How can I woo you? Posted: 12/9/2008 12:43:34 PM
From what my male friends tell me seems that most guys would be wooed with a cold beer and a good blow job. Looks like someone has been reading my diary. Like one other guy said, if there is no interest or someone has moved on, you are probably going to be wasting your time or just working too hard. But I must admit, it's tough for me to resist a very sweet, kind, and thoughtful woman. One who does nice things out of the blue, that is often based on some passing comment you made that wasn't even a big deal at the time. It shows she's a good listener, is thoughtful, and is concerned about your well-being. Now that I think about it, this is a pretty rare quality in a woman (and probably men too). I don't think much about it when it isn't there, but I sure notice it when it is. the easiest way to get a guys attention is to play the damsel in distress: This is somewhat true. Guy are more concerned about feeling useful and contributing to a woman, and this could aid in the bonding process. But depending on what it is, how often, and how he feels about you- it could feel a lot like drama, too. Keep in mind, this is still him doing stuff for you.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/9/2008 9:07:30 AM
I was surprised recently when Sprint made news because they refused to renew contracts for about 2,000 customers they deemed problematic. I remember that. But it would tend to suggest the opposite of your reply, due to the fact that there was quite a bit of consumer outrage toward Sprint for deciding to eliminate these customers... the reaction of the press/public was "how dare they" as if they didn't have rights. Even my reaction was kind of like "wow" at first, but when I actually read the article it was very convincing that these pain in the a$$ customers should have been fired a long time ago. They provided numbers explaining the decision and they were way out of wack- I wish I could remember more details, but it was something nuts like these customers were averaging being on the phone with customer service like 5 hours a week- I can barely remember a time when I had to call customer service.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Business owner's rights / abusive customers Posted: 12/8/2008 11:12:37 PM
I have been a small business owner 10 years, and to my knowledge you can simply chose not to business with them. That's your only real recourse. I actually find myself in this situation more often than I like. My business is installing and maintaining Point of Sale systems for bars and restaurants, mainly. When some one purchases the software we resell (we are the local rep for the area, we don't actually write the program- sell and support it and are a separate business entity), it's really a 5-7 year business relationship (in other words, a long time for things to go wrong). As such, many times the restaurant owners- who in general, don't have the greatest reputation for being angels as it is- get frustrated with cost and upkeep with the systems. Sometimes it's justified, many times it's not. Sometimes it all comes down to the fact that they just don't want to pay for services. Here's the kicker... they've sunk a good chunk of change in these systems initially, and can't just up and go to another one- it doesn't make fiscal sense if everything is running "relatively" well. Typically, only one - maybe two - other companies in the area will know the ins and outs of a particular system. The upshot is, they are stuck with you, and for the most part, you are stuck with them. Sometimes they feel their only outlet is ... well.. just to be nasty. On a side note, what I've learned over the years in for many of these people, giving in and trying to make them happy when they are out of line, only increases the odds that they will behave like that in the future. Because of this- and an overall lack of patience- I've gotten a lot firmer with them over the years, including refusing service to them. Why are you asking anyway?

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

How do I talk to an attractive girl before the exercise class starts? Posted: 12/8/2008 11:00:15 PM
I am going to agree with both, the ones that say leave them alone, and the ones that say, approach. I agree with you, part of me thinks there are better places, but really it all depends on a given situation. There are some who believe that making approaches in clubs is a terrible move too, because so many women have the b1tch shield up. At least in this situation, you know you have something in common with them. Like Outmind, I am heavily involved in athletics and fitness, and I get a lot of email from other athletic girls on this very site, who emailed me for no other reason than we have this in common. So it's not a bad starting point in that respect. And I think that Pinciperro is stating the views of women who are frustrated and cold as ice. Not all gals think that way. I strongly agree with this. My ex of 6 years- who was by all accounts, a nice, well adjusted and healthy person- had real issues with being approached by men. Even if we were at home watching a movie and there was a scene where a guy approached a girl in public, she'd roll her eyes, and of course I'd tease her about what a hater she was being. She was insecure and just wasn't really good at dealing w/ advances, especially persistent ones- even if what the overall tone was positive, since the bright side is at least someone finds you attractive. There are also just a lot of woman who are either bitter, or have had bad experiences with guys who were too forward- that when they think about it in logically, conjures up some unpleasant images for them. The reality of it is, some of these very same ladies act completely different to someone who they consider attractive, or who at least isn't obnoxious or pushy. I thought carolann's comments were decent advice too. Be friendly with everyone, not just people you're directly interested in.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

What are we? Posted: 12/8/2008 4:09:38 PM
Actually, I think her situation is a lot more common than people realize or admit to, and of course the most of the forum responses make everything sound so simple- when the reality is, it's usually more complicated, or at least feels that way when you are experiencing first hand. When you have two adults that have busy schedules, and live more than an 1/2 hour away, it's pretty easy for casual relationships (i.e. any relationship that's developing, especially online ones) to end up in "la la land" like this one here. Where the company is enjoyed, but responsibilities outside of the relationship keep you from just pursing it with reckless abandon... and people are often afraid to be the first one to put the cards on the table. Honestly, I have seen just as many threads about people saying that you can scare someone asking them to define the relationship- so I am not surprised, if the OP thinks this guy is ok, that she is leery about forcing the issue with him. You have to understand OP-this isn't the case ALWAYS, but very often it is- a guy doesn't feel the need to define things, he just knows he likes the time he spends with you, enough to where is ok bringing you around his friends, etc. It's more of female thing to need to know "where it's going". It doesn't mean you're being used or abused, but he may not be willing to make that kind of commitment just yet. And I would assume that you are willing to make such a commitment to him or wouldn't have started the thread, but is that the case?

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

What are we? Posted: 12/8/2008 3:19:06 PM
Good post by Gorporilla (sp?), I would read that one again. I failed to mention in my first post, I have noticed when dating, 40 minutes is about my cut off point when it starts to feel kind "long distance" to me. In other words, the amount of time I seem to able (or willing) to spend with the person starts to diminish when the drive is 3/4 of an hour and up. This may also be a factor in why things haven't heated up the way you want to. Talking is certainly a start, but I say his current actions are a better gauge then talking to him directly about it. A lot of people will be vague and indirect with their responses in these situations, especially if he is just keeping you around until he can upgrade to someone he likes more. What are his current actions? Does he make an effort to see you and endure the drive? Do you feel like he is only ok seeing you as long as he doesn't have to make an effort? Are you the only doing the contacting? If you think about these things, you probably already have your answer.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

How do I talk to an attractive girl before the exercise class starts? Posted: 12/8/2008 3:07:48 PM
^^LOL, funny. Truth be told though, I go to a spin class (basically stationary cycling) that would likely kick your a$$. My gym offers them free with a membership and I figured what the heck, and I was really surprised how tired I got and how sore I was the next- and I am pretty physically active. I guess I should alter my original post a bit, as I never really intended to say you should try to pick up women in gyms- when I go to these classes, I do occasionally chat with some of the gals there, and they are usually very outgoing and are more than happy to indulge in some light conversation. Some days I go in and I say very little too anyone. Really, it depends on the class and what you're doing. My spinning class is the same people week after week and tends to be a little more social. The main difference between you and I, however, is I am not there to "pick them up" and that's not what I am advising you, just to be clear. Because as most of the people there are sweaty and gross and not wanting be hit on, as most of the people have recommended here. I used to go to these classes all the time and I was there to exercise and was very not interested if anyone attemped to chat me up..no matter how hot he was! I will say this however. I always tell guys- especially younger ones- to be careful when asking the ladies for dating advice, because often how they answer logically is far different than how they will behave when placed in one of these situations, and this comment teeters on why. If you're doing something where exchanging a few quit comments is completely inappropriate or people are really exerting themselves and sweating, then no one really wants to be "hit on". However, if they are attracted to you physically, and you say don't cheesy lines and aren't obnoxious or obvious- then most of your friendly banter will be well received. In other words, I am calling this comment out- if she thinks you're hot, she'll usually respond. Gyms do offer one benefit. You're likely to see these same people every time the class is held, which gives you a chance to move slow with friendly comments, and then maybe talk to them after class. Plus you can see how they respond the next time (if they make an effort to be friendly next time, etc). In general though, find somewhere else to meet women for romantic purposes. But they are actually good places for making friends... sometimes a little too good.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What are we? Posted: 12/8/2008 11:52:58 AM
The other poster is right, there is not a lot of info to go on. I will say I was in a similar situation once- with a girl who was a busy single mom working 2 jobs and trying to get a third. Months went by before there was second date, even though we'd text and flirt occassionally- we didn't see each other. Then we would eventually go out again, 2 or 3 dates in a 2 week period, and then barely talk again for a weeks and not see each other for months. You get the picture. Anyway, the writing was kind of on the wall- I think there was moderate interest on both ends, but if it wasn't enough to motivate us to see each other or talk more often, was this something really worth pursuing long term? As I am pretty busy and not looking just to add to my social calendar, that's kind of how I felt about it. That if after 6 months we were just dating on and off, it probably wasn't anything that was ever going to be serious.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Is being turned down for sex even once, really a good enough reason to end a relationship? Posted: 12/8/2008 11:45:03 AM
Neh... double standards. It's true it's a double standard, but it's definitely a bigger deal for the woman when the situation is reversed. I have turned women down for sex quite a bit, and it can be really awkward for them. Guys are supposed to be used to it, and it's not supposed to be a deal (in theory, anyway)- but for some girls, it can be a humiliating experience, since most guys won't turn them down. Many of the them feel very rejected, even though in my mind- it means I am just not ready to jump into things, because I want to get to know them better. Truth be told, I don't necessarily think it's cause for immediate dismal in either case OP. Especially if it's early in the "getting to know each other" process. I would simply ask myself this- there are really only two broad categories 1- Am I being turned down because they aren't comfortable or ready yet (i.e. timing - for all you know, she could be on her period and doesn't want to share that with you)? Or 2- I am being turned downed because of lack of attraction or he not being into me. If it's #2, cut your losses. This is usually easy to discern based on body language, etc. If you think it's #1, then stick around for a while.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How do I talk to an attractive girl before the exercise class starts? Posted: 12/8/2008 11:33:17 AM
Seriously Brad, how the hell can anyone in the forum tell you which girl you should talk to? That's up to you. I can tell you right now, your confidence and indecisiveness is going to be your stumbling block, not the topic of conversation. In this case, I say stop thinking of them as girls and start thinking of them as people. Normally, when you're talking to a woman that you like, I don't give that advice, cuz you can get friend zoned if your not careful. But in your case, you just need to learn to be relaxed and get comfortable around women. When you think of them as potential dates and/or girl friends, then you are too concerned about their appraisal of you and the outcome- so for now, just talk to them cuz you're a friendly guy looking to make some pleasant conversation. And soon enough you won't care about what happens, and the nervousness will disappear-you'll just be yourself. Right now, you're asking how to hit a home run when you don't even know how to properly hold the bat. Conversation could be something about the class, if they've been there, do they like it, or about something amusing in the room- start with a small comment that isn't too intrusive, and you can usually tell by the response if she's interested in talking more.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/6/2008 10:24:32 PM
I see the press is already hard at work with stories stating that they are better off without Avery after they won a game without him. LOL. A little early on that, don't you think? I don't remember him being that hated here in the D. Obviously he's been hard at work. But come on, do you guys really think he is worse than Dale Hunter, Chris Simon, Claude Lemuiex, or Dino? (who still lives a few blocks from me- when he was going thru his divorce, the cops were at his house every weekend)

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/6/2008 10:17:49 PM
Actually, if you were more informed, you could have easily come up with something much more disparaging than that. I once read that when it comes nationally televised sports- that is, when games are broadcast at the national level in all 50 states- bowling actually gets more viewers nationally than hockey. But, let's test my theory... I wasn't asking for theories. I was asking you to back up when you typed in big bold letters "WHAT I STATED IS FACT". It's not fact... at all. It turns out it was a theory- a wrong one. Again, not really the point of the thread, and I don't argue it will never be popular as some of the other sports here. It's just a personal pet peeve of mine when people proclaim things as fact when they are really nothing more than preferences or theories.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/6/2008 9:21:44 PM
This shouldn't offend nor draw negative from anyone. It's the flat out truth. Site your source, dude. I actually didn't call you out on it initially because I wasn't 100% sure myself (and as sweet j-me baby pointed out, it really wasn't the topic), but I am pretty sure I read the opposite. That it's been increasing every year. Not that I personally care, so I am not offended at all. I think that there have been quite a few reasons covered why it will never be popular in the southern states, I don't expecting to be taking over the big 3 anytime soon. Yanks attempting to hijack hockey threads is nothing new though. There have been sources that suggest hockey was started in the soviet union. The game would not be nearly as big as it is without international participation, regardless. "Hockey has been played in some form or other for 100s of years. It is thought to be 1 of the earliest sports in the world, and was played by the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, Persians, Romans, and Arabs." For BMC, it wasn't hard to find this from February, take it for what it's worth: Taking a cue from our hockey-mad neighbors to the north, USA Hockey is celebrating the growth of the sport in the United States with a Hockey Weekend Across America tribute that runs coast to coast Friday through Sunday. Baseball may be recognized as the national pastime, but there’s no ignoring the growth and popularity of hockey over the last two decades in the U.S. USA Hockey has members in all 50 states, and a membership that had fewer than 200,000 in 1990 has blossomed to approximately 600,000 today. Adult hockey reached the 100,000-member mark for the first time in 2006-07, showing a 36 percent growth in just the past two years.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

When did men think its ok to ask the following: Posted: 12/6/2008 9:13:12 PM
I am either told 'men will be men' and laugh it off or I get flamed for what I am finding is to be rude behavior I don't think anyone was flaming you. I don't think there is a real answer to your question- why does anyone do anything they shouldn't? Well, that depends on the individual- some people are thoughtless, others weren't raised right, some people don't care what people think of them.. and some suggested that maybe your pictures were giving off the wrong vibe. I know quite a few large breasted girls that are quite proud of their endowment and don't mind talking about it all, and maybe the photos are giving some people the impression that you fall into this category? Who knows... So instead, we looked at a probable cause. In the summer, if I keep my front porch light on, I attract mosquitoes. I hate mosquitoes! Then when there are mosquitoes, the spiders come. I hate spiders! The solution? Turn the light off. Should I have too? Hell no, I like it on for security reasons, I pay the bill, I should be able to leave it on. But I never seem to win that one... Bottom line is if you just want it to stop, change the pics (really just the one), and you won't attract these clowns. But alternatively, if you have something that other people find attractive, be happy that you've got it. Sure, it gets annoying when people tell you how great you look, but that's the price of being beautiful :)

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

When did men think its ok to ask the following: Posted: 12/6/2008 8:31:30 PM
Honey your default picture is on a bed with what looks like only a red sheet covering you. The rest have an emphasis on your chest. Are you really surprised that this question is being asked? Bingo. Don't blame the kind of men you're attracting when at least part of the problem is the bait. I am not saying it's ok for anyone to be rude or crude. But seriously, who are you kidding? You are clearly using your breasts to look attractive and get attention- and I personally don't have problem with that, so I am not judging you based on that (and in your defense, I've seen way more revealing). But then to come on here and complain about it, like a girl who has 'em hanging out in public, then complain that she gets the attention she was really going for in the first place? Come on. I agree with the other girl that said they could be saying a lot worse- but I do have a solution for you. Take the "boob shots" down and bet comments cut down to about none, if they don't stop entirely. Brilliant!

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

So I blew my chance, and it sucks. Posted: 12/6/2008 7:11:23 PM
It doesn't sound like you ever had much of chance, so don't beat yourself up over this. She just wasn't attracted to you in that way, it just happens. The biggest lesson you should be taking away from this is an old take on Hollywood romantic comedy's, that are so touching that it deludes guys into thinking it actually works like this. The script is as follows: the girl continues to date jerks, ignoring the great guy right beneath her nose, until finally.. usually about 10 minutes before the movie ends... she realizes that she really loved the guy the entire time, and they frolic off together into the sunset. This really isn't much different to the same bill of goods sold to women about the knight in shining armor that rides up on a white horse and carries her off, happily ever after. I know some women who have been waiting 20+ years for this too happen, too. In both cases, it just usually doesn't happen this way. I have a friend who tries this approach with almost every girl, and the result is always the same. He lurks in the shadows, for months, sometimes for years... is a good listener, a great friend and confidant, etc.... finally tries to do something and the girl is completely put off by it and it's a whole awkward situation, or she never gets his hints (or pretends not to) and he just gives up entirely. The worst part is, he truly is a nice, stable, not-bad-looking guy with some things going for himself. He's got nice guy syndrome. If you're attracted to woman, make it known pretty early on- that's a pretty quick ticket out of the friendszone, for better or for worse.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Girl treated me like crap, Should I get closure? Posted: 12/6/2008 6:55:13 PM
I was once in a similar situation-not nearly as dramatic as yours and not nearly as long-but the woman pretty much kicked me in the a$$ on the way out the door. I won't go into all the details, but she said some pretty crappy stuff. The summation of her comments were more or less that I just wasn't good enough for her, on several levels. Like you, I wasn't sure if she was trying to be mean- I never really gave her reason to- or if she was just incredibly clueless as to how big of b1tch she was really being. Per usual, I took the high road initially, and said nothing inconsiderate, even though it peaked her interest when I said she "wasn't perfect either" and she more or less dared me to tell me what those things were. Still, I decided to be a "gentleman" and resisted the urge. However, after some of initial hurt went away and I thought about it some more, I was exactly where you were- Who the F did she think she was? Was she really that clueless as to how big of b1tch she was? Or was she just heartless? Either way, I decided I needed to let her know, despite the advice of most of my friends just to "let it go" (as I am sure most on the forums will tell you- and logically, that is sound advice). However, I felt like you- like I almost had a duty. I didn't just call her out right and rant- that would have made me look desperate or just trying to get even (don't you do this either)- but I felt like something needed to be said. I was pretty sneaky when we spoke, making it sound as though it was all coming about naturally, but it was contrived and planned out on my part... easing the conversation into the direction of what wasn't perfect about her. Sorry I am being vague, this post would be even longer if I put in all the details. But let's just say I was very glad that I say what I had to say. It clearly took her down a peg, and hopefully made her think twice for next time- who knows, maybe no one ever stood up to her before and it may have actually helped. And next tine, pay attention to someone's actions more than anything else. She clearly had only a moderate interest level in you, so you kind of did this to yourself. Just remember that for next time.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/5/2008 5:05:06 PM
Kevin, I agree with pretty much all of your post, except the part about women. I hadn't heard that angle yet and had not considered it to be a gender issue at all. I hope it's not either, but there was at least one link on yahoo that termed the headline in such a fashion- to garner attention no doubt- and then one of those news shows on cable, like some MSNBC show. Neither one of them were hockey related stations or people though, so that was probably the only part about it they could really sink their teeth into. Well, somebody paid 4 million for him once, do you think it's incomprehensible that someone will again just because a couple of comments that few will care about in a month? I would go so far to say that he will play in Dallas anyway, so it's gonna be a non issue IMO. And I would venture to guess that nominally, more people watch hockey here in the states than do in Canada. After all, there are 10 times as many people here. There are a number of reasons why it hasn't taken off (and trust me, in the midwest and the east, it's huge), and I can really only blame the game for one of them- it's not the easiest sport to understand or watch with all rules, and when you don't know where you're supposed to be looking, the puck can be tough to follow on TV. In at least 1/2 the states, the weather is not suitable for outdoor hockey, and it's tough for kids and parents to get into something they've never played or known anyone who played. Most hockey starts with kids outdoors in ponds. It's also probably the most expensive sport to play when you factor in ice time and all the gear. It's easy to see how a kid asking to try a sport where the ice bill is 200 or 300 dollars a month (never mind the equipment they outgrow) is going to be told "try soccer instead". None the less, it's still the most action packed sport to watch. I nearly fall asleep at football and baseball games. Basket ball is a little better, but last 5 minutes of a semi close game take 25 minutes to play? Snooze fest.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/5/2008 4:26:52 PM
I had you pegged for a forum troll BMC, but that was actually a fairly accurate response. The only thing that wouldn't have worked though, is that this idiot did it from of like 8 cameras and reporters and managed to make a production out of it- it was going to make the head lines where the NHL did anything about it or not. So, the question is- did their "stepping in" draw more attention to it? Probably. But now it's laid to rest, I bet it disappears from the media fast. I am just more miffed at their inconsistency. And the reality being, it had nothing to do with the game.

kevinmach

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Sean Avery Suspension!!! Posted: 12/5/2008 4:15:24 PM
^^ You make some valid points, but your probably giving the powers that be a little much credit. The bottom line is that when people are good at what they do- and let's face, he's a solid 3rd or 4th line forward, not someone I'd actually call an enforcer, but more of a utility player- the guys writing the checks, as well have the public at large, have a pretty short memory. His career is not over.

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