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lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

My turn ... Posted: 11/22/2009 5:30:31 PM
Thanks caveman. I figured the smoking may have something to do it as most profiles I see are non smokers. I'll have to get more pics I guess.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

My turn ... Posted: 11/22/2009 5:33:57 AM
Like so many others I don't get any replies, so I adjusted my profile and looking for comments. I realize my pictures could probably be better but is there anything alse that would scare the damsels off? Thanks.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 605 (view)

why do men always have to look at other women!! Posted: 11/15/2009 1:31:16 PM
OP, looking at beautiful things, not just women, doesn't mean you aren't happy with what you have. Good Grief. I say other things because I have a passion for antique cars and when I see a beauty I get this feeling (just like seeing a beautiful woman). Doesn't mean I going to dump the car I have!! I'm happy with the one I have for many reasons. Certain things I see will make me take a second look. I totally agree with the last poster. It's all in how you react that can be the concern. Get my point?

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Is this generation too spoiled for marriage? Posted: 4/5/2009 6:07:16 AM
Seems the the norm is unhappy marriages (pick your reason) since the dawn of time so why does the idea of marriage even exist? Where do the fairytale expectations come from? Honestly, I'm beginning to believe this species was never meant for marriage! Remember, the goal of any species is survival through procreation. Seriously. Does any here know when marriage was instituted? Why? Just curious, looking for some explanation. There is one I'm sure.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

What is the difference between counciling and therapy??? Posted: 1/2/2009 6:39:31 AM
therapy: Treatment intended to cure or alleviate an illness or injury, whether physical or mental. counseling: The act of exchanging opinions and ideas; consultation. Advice or guidance, especially as solicited from a knowledgeable person. See Synonyms at advice. A plan of action. Private, guarded thoughts or opinions: keep one's own counsel.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

I'm I being lied to? Posted: 12/31/2008 8:26:36 AM
Hey Eve, There is no point in pointing out the obvious. After leaving you hanging twice. please do yourself a favour and move on. He may try to justify his actions, but there simply aren't ANY excuses short of a family death that could justify leaving someone hanging like that. Take the incident for what it is - a major red flag.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 93 (view)

Unconditional Love Posted: 12/7/2008 10:35:33 AM
Definition: affection with no limits or conditions; complete love (dictionary.com) I have been thinking about this after reading some reponses. How on earth could this be possible between two humans. Think about it. No matter WHAT you do I will love you. How is that possible other than the giver simply not caring for anything or anyone else? With animals it's just different. But to love "someone" unconditionaly. Yikes. To say you love someone unconditionaly, I don't think you know what you are saying and you can't possibly mean it if you do know what it means. I'm baffled.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Nice Girl: Learning to Love Myself Posted: 12/7/2008 10:08:46 AM
OP, mind if I ask what really came first? The low self esteem or the abusive marriage?Usually people get into these realtionships because of how they feel about themselves to start with. I am speaking from experience and things I have learned along the way. Having/knowing the answer determines how the future will shape out. You say "and not care what people think of me". What do people really think of you? Why? I believe you need to know who you are and understand why, maybe make some changes, then you will learn to "love" who you are. You don't need thick skin OP, just learn to stand up for yourself and keep all the other qualities you like about yourself.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Are grand love affairs a myth? Posted: 12/7/2008 9:54:21 AM
Yes, they do exist. Rare maybe, but yes. Any relationship requires work. A grand love affair is where the person you are with appreciates the work you put in and returns as much or more. It takes two, so pick em right. For sure, you don't always get back (exactly) what you put in but if you put nothing in, you will certainly get nothing back.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3063 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 12/7/2008 9:36:14 AM
gardennut, I totally, agree with everything you said. Lustful sex can definantly cloud things up, but don't wait till after marriage to enjoy sex together either.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3062 (view)

GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage? Posted: 12/7/2008 9:25:51 AM
Sex is the icing on the cake. Go ahead and wait and chance eating cake without icing on it for the rest of your relationship, married or not. If you are both teenagers and still virgins, sure I could maybe understand waiting but if you are like most people on this site and have been there and done it already, I would really wonder about such a request. Geez, I don't know. Just comes across as a mind game, a test or something. Allowing foreplay but not allowed to finish the game. Hmmm. Sounds like torture. My answer is obviously NO! However I would personaly wait until I had feelings for the person.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

When is the right time to start again..? Posted: 11/23/2008 8:28:37 AM
Pezra, If you're not sure you are ready then you aren't. Personally I dont't think someone can spend +7 years in a relationship and turn around and jump into another. I just can't see how one can get over being many years in a relationship anytime soon. Then, there is your kids. I assume if you were only married 7 years, they aren't too old. They need to get over/through this as well. In my case, my kids were young and I didn't consider dating for many years until I felt they were old enough to handle women coming and going till I found the right one. Not like having three young lads leaves much time. They had to come first and not pay the price of a failed marriage. SL

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 403 (view)

The instant chemistry demand Posted: 11/22/2008 8:16:19 AM
The term "chemistry" has different meanings. For some, it's means a physical attraction and for others it is something else. For me, it's that feeling of comfort. How comfortable does the person make me feel. We all connect with other people using senses other than sight. Members need to clarify what chemistry means in the profiles. I just pass over the ones looking for that "deal breaking" instant chemistry. You can't possibly get to know someone in five minutes. As an indicator of the number of people looking for that instant chemistry, look at the popularity of speed dating!

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

can i get my boyfriend back after so much damage was done? Posted: 11/22/2008 7:10:15 AM
Have more respect for yourself tinker. Even if you were to get him back, he will only show you the respect you think you deserve and right now you are indicating that you deserve very little respect by wanting someone in your life that would do this to you. Take some time out and get past it, then start looking again.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/9/2008 7:01:10 AM
Thanks for taking the time to put together a constructive response. Some of your suggestions are good and will be considered in the next edition (how many is that now). I know how some things come across but don't you think there are some things that woman should know about you right off rather than them discovering it later. Yes I am quiet (not boring, well most of the time. I do have my sparkling moments) and they are going to find out any way. It's who I am. That's the honesty part in me. I was looking for where you enter the interests yesterday and damned if I could find it (DOH). Can someone point it out. Only someone who boats would understand the reference to "lifestyle". Heck, even that should spark at least a question, then, conversation, so I won't explain it here

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/8/2008 4:58:06 PM
Doesn't claiming to be honest, caring, etc conjure up an image of someone respectful? In an earlier response I clarified that it was the blatant disregard of courtesy, and respect by not responding at all, but from what I've been reading in the forums, it is what appears to be a natural behavior of the majority of females on these sites. I'll get over it. I lost most of my hair about 20 years ago SL

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Can not see any images Posted: 11/8/2008 3:39:54 PM
usually a red x in the image place holder means that the file is simply not where it should be, OR it could be timing out on the upload OR you have turned off the show images feature in the browser. To see if the image is actually still there: right click where the picture should be, one of the options will be "show picture". Click on it and the picture will show up if it is still on the system (disk drive). I have no issues with images at this time but the procedure I explained above usually works if the image is available.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 828 (view)

missing images Posted: 11/8/2008 3:35:12 PM
If you are using xp, try typing CMD instead of command.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/8/2008 2:46:48 PM
OK both of you mentioned the princess thing, so out it goes. pics: geez, that's my entire portfolio. Thanks.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/8/2008 1:57:30 PM
Canam, I trust you on that. I get all that about the favorites. I use them as a holder till I wish to contact them. Irregardless of how or why they are used, a contact deserves a courtesy reply, that's all. But, the real motivator in posting was getting some feed back on the profile itself.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Usual Posted: 11/8/2008 1:38:32 PM
The marriage status may have something to do with it. Being with someone going through a divorce is not too inviting. Too many unknowns. Because we are around the same age, I'll tell you what stood out for me. Made me think, that's all. You sound busy with your running. Running marathons takes up a lot of time training. You mention you are looking for a guy 35 and up. No other specs. Hmmm. BTW - I have sky dived in the past. It really is something, isn't it!?!

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/8/2008 11:18:21 AM
Thanks, your points are well taken. Back to the writing board perhaps. I guess I am frustrated. The last 2 women I contacted I had on my fav's list and a couple of days later I contacted them (not at the same time). No reponse, they removed me from their fav list. Left me feeling like a creep. That was what I was thinking about. I just expected a no thanks or something!

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

HELP, cause I don't get it ... Posted: 11/8/2008 10:40:00 AM
OK this is a cry for help. I hope it's just my profile! I haven't contacted very many ladies but when I do contact someone, they run and hide. I pick the ones that proclaim honesty, open mindedness etc and that's not what they are. I won't just contact a bunch "hoping" to stumble on one where she is what she says she is. How do you weed out the fakes? Can't right? So, I need to know. What am I doing wrong with my profile? Or maybe it's not just the profile? I always thought I was at least half decent. Thanks, and be kind.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Do YOU believe we get what we Expect or what we Deserve? Posted: 4/15/2007 7:43:35 AM
I disagree with both Arugula and Nick. I believe you absolutely GET what you expect! I totally agree with you Diva. Look at it this way. If, from experience, attitude, or whatever you have a negative mindset about meeting someone or men/women in general, you will show that in your behaviour. You expect the result before it happens, you will act like it, therfore GET the expected result! Yes?

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

How do you re grasp the passion for life? Posted: 4/15/2007 7:30:23 AM
What do you do for yourself to maintain that passion to keep opening yourself up and sharing with others, in hopes that you will cross paths with the one who would also know.....your the one for them? You belive in yourself. You are a good person and worth waiting for. You like yourself and you know although it's not easy for some of us, the right one will come along. Remember, your soulmate is in the same position you are.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Why does it feel like there is no one out there for me??? Posted: 4/15/2007 7:16:31 AM
Merrus, nobody is owed love? Where the heck does that come from? I can't imagine any one thinking they are owed love but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Feeling loved is one of our many needs, that's all. Egads! Mel, like all the others are saying, slow down. Your high need to be loved is preventing you from making smart choices. You have other needs in a realtionship. Find out what those are before you hop in bed, unless it is just the sex you want. Sleeping with random guys is not going to get you love, it turns you into a door mat dear. You need to let a guy get to know you. As much as guys want sex, you shut the doors buy jumping in bed with them too soon I think. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect anyone to respect you. It's all about loving and respecting yourself and then others. Good luck.

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Do men like to feel needed? Posted: 4/14/2007 11:25:11 AM
Exactly. Appreciated and accepted. Like someone else said, need is a vauge term. Put/get some context around it. At the very vaugest level, men need women, women need men, but try and define that so everyone agrees!

lookin4mine

Joined: 3/29/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

help with new bf Posted: 4/14/2007 5:20:13 AM
Cut your losses now sunset. Your gut feelings aren't confused with all the emotional crap. Hard to accept them I know, but take this as a learning experience and move on.

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