How important is income and occupation in dating ? chat & forums.

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Thread: How important is income and occupation in dating ?

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

How important is income and occupation in dating ? Posted: 4/30/2007 2:32:55 AM
I have found occupation to be an incredibly touchy subject. Some men talk freely about what they do, others get pissed off when you bring the subject up. By asking what you do I feel I am simply showing an interest in YOU. Let's be realistic guys, we spend a great deal of our waking hours at our jobs, I think it is only natural to discuss what we do for a living. As for income, that really doesn't matter to me as long as he lives within his means. My Jeep will get me from point A to point B just as easily as a Ferrari, and is a lot more practical. Success is measured in far better ways than net worth.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

lost with love...is there something wrong with me?? Posted: 4/29/2007 10:25:26 AM
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Dating isn't easy, no matter where you go, because we aren't looking for just anyone - we're looking for that one special someone. The previous poster had some very good suggestions regarding your activities and trying to meet someone through them. That way you know you have something in common and a conversation starter. You may even want to consider volunteering for an organization that you support. Your profile doesn't state anything about the person you are trying to meet. Might I suggest that you go to the profile review forum. There are some great people there that can help. I had someone help me with mine and I am so glad I did! Don't give up! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Ever been divorced or separated? Could use your perspective! Posted: 4/29/2007 10:10:57 AM
I suffer from migraines as well, and they are nothing to fool around with. There are some new medications that work wonderfully for them. There is always the possiblity that it is depression, which can cause migraines. In which case she needs an antidepressant. Either way she needs to be seen by a doctor. If she doesn't have insurance she can go through the Health Department. If you care about her, which you truly seem to, you may want to do a little research for her on the Health Department or other local clinic that offers discounted or free outreach services. That will make it seem less overwhelming for her, especially if it is depression. Good luck to both of you! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is It My Profile Or Is It ME... Posted: 4/29/2007 10:04:33 AM
I'm sure it's not you, after all you are on someone's favorite list. Might I suggest you go to the profile review forum. There are some wonderful people who could help you work the bugs out and offer some great suggestions on improvement. You haven't been here long, so give it some time. Try not to worry about it so much - just have fun Best of luck to you! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

profile browsing Posted: 4/29/2007 5:58:26 AM
You state that you are only looking for friends. That is a big deciding factor in whether someone will contact you or not. I recently changed my profile to Friends from Long Term due to my responsibilities and I get virtually no mail now. If that is what you are looking for then great, but if you are looking for something long term, either change your profile or mention that you are looking for something long term but friends first in your About Me section. You might want to consider writing a little more about yourself in your profile as well. It's a little short. Talk some more about your interests. I certainly don't think you look bad in your photos so you shouldn't take them off - if I was in Leeds I'd contact you and you have a beautiful horse! (I love horseback riding!) Women do browse, just like men. Some more, some less, it just depends on the person. As far as your messages go, I couldn't possibly say as I've never received one. I'd say just don't worry about it so much.Work on your profile a bit more, if you need to, go to the profile reviews area and get some help with it. There are some wonderful people in that forum with great advice. Happy ! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

ladies, can you help? Posted: 4/28/2007 12:18:20 PM
You are definatly not an ugly person, and you are right it is what is on the inside that matters most. Like you, I am a shy person and sometimes find it very difficult to meet people - especially in bars. I found it much easier meeting people while doing things that I liked, rather than just at a bar. Try joining a club or an organization that interests you and get involved, or take an evening class. That way you definately have something to talk about with someone because you know that you have at least that activity in common. I found that much easier myself! Happy ! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

How can I look better? Posted: 4/28/2007 12:06:27 PM
I think you look great just the way you are, but if you don't like how you look try new glasses - new frames could make a huge difference - or contact lenses. Personally, I have a choice between a couple of different styles of glasses and contacts, what I wear depends on my mood. You could also try different ways of wearing your beard, or shaving it off all together. If you dont't like anything you try, grow it back the way it was. Be careful eating too many salads. If you're worried about your physique, take up jogging or cycling, join a gym, or try martial arts. Do something besides just dieting - you'll feel better. I did. Hope this was helpful to you, Good Luck! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Hi everyone Posted: 4/28/2007 7:49:35 AM
Welcome to POF tj0707! The forums are a great place to learn about the site, and meet great new people! Happy ! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

starting over Posted: 4/28/2007 6:39:14 AM
I wonder if it's not a little bit of everything. We are becoming a disposable society, so it seems only natural that it would effect peoples perspective on relationships as well. Divorce is incredibly easy these days. In my case, it was poor judgement. I didn't spend enough time getting to know my SO before we got married (we didn't live together first) and subsequently found myself married to someone I barely knew. Luckily that's not a mistake I intend to make twice. I have found that I enjoy being single now, much more than I did before I was married, but that may simply be from having grown older and wiser. I have gone back to school to complete my degree, am thrilled with my career choice, and have great friends and family. Society doesn't frown on single people to the extent that they used too - it's becoming much more acceptable. So maybe it is easier for singles to be single. As much as I would love to find the right person, if I don't that's okay too. I can honestly say that I am very happy with my life the way it is.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Going back to school in your 30's.... Posted: 4/28/2007 6:19:33 AM
I think this is a wonderful thread! After my divorce, I too decided to return to college. I sold my house to lower my expenses so I could afford tuition each semester. The sacrifice will be worth it in the long run because I will finally be able to work in a field that I love. Coping is somewhat difficult. Luckily I don't have children thrown into the mix, but I do still have a job and was helping care for my Mom until she passed away, and now am helping care for my Dad. I've not been able to take a full-time course load, so it's taking me longer, but it is still so worth it. I finish my degree in Graphic Design next year! Yeah! Congrats to everyone who went back to school and Good Luck! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

A new kettle of fish.. Posted: 4/27/2007 4:14:04 PM
Welcome to POF practnurse! Happy to see you here. The forums are wonderful - a great place to make friends. I look forward to your posts in the forums! Happy ! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

trying for my boyfriend Posted: 4/27/2007 4:07:02 PM
Jiu Jitsu is amazingly fun, I've been studying since last year. I agree with the other poster to try several places, they should offer a free class to you so you can try it. The instructor does make all the difference in the world (another one of those lessons I learned the hard way). Ask lots of questions, go on a tour, see what else they offer and talk to other students as well - see what they are like, after all, these are the people you'll be throwing to the ground! Have Fun! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Too selfish? Posted: 4/27/2007 3:57:49 PM
You aren't being selfish, it's self preservation. I don't think you should remain friends with anyone if it causes you pain, that's not healthy for you - or them. I would try to explain it to them with as much tact as possible, but you are still liable to get some flack about it. In the end you need to do what is best for you. Just my opinion! Misha

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

LTRs, POF, and One-Night-Stand Pay Sites Posted: 4/27/2007 3:41:41 PM
I'm with whatsaminger? on this. Your profile is like a horror story, and I don't say things like that lightly. You don't want a SO, you want a slave. Good luck with that.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

New here Posted: 4/27/2007 1:15:19 PM
Welcome Maggie! Have fun on the site - it's great! Happy !

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

You Intended One ? Posted: 4/27/2007 1:14:21 PM
Welcome to POF Bashert! Good luck !

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

The same old question Posted: 4/27/2007 1:08:52 PM
I read your profile and you may want to work on your "About Me" section a bit. Why don't you go to profile reviews and have one of the reviewers give you some suggestions. I had someone review my profile and it helped alot! Don't give up!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Are you too Jaded to be idealistic AND realistic about love? Posted: 4/27/2007 12:54:22 PM
I had the same problem, so I sympathize greatly. My situation my be drastically different than yours, I don't know, you didn't go into great detail, but I'll tell you anyway since you asked! For me it was the idealistic belief that I was supposed to get married and have kids. The whole meet prince charming and live happily ever after stuff. I met a man, fell in love, got married and we were talking about having kids. But I was so miserable! So I asked myself a rather simple question: Do I really want the exact same things that I wanted twenty years ago when I am not the same person I was then? My life had gone in many different and unexpected directions, my interests were completely different, and my priorities had changed. That's when I decided to reevaluate my ideals to bring them more in line with my current reality. That's not to say that I abandoned my ideals. Do I still want to find the love of my life? Absolutely! I just quit believing it would happen in a particular way at a particular time in my life. This is something that I wish I had done several years ago, before I learned the hard way that it's much better to be alone than be with the wrong person. I'm now enjoying my life more than I ever thought possible, and I'm not worried about being alone anymore. I quite enjoy it, but there is still plenty of room for a SO if I should find the right one! Hope this helps!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

The Artistic Nude... Posted: 4/27/2007 12:01:58 PM
I have taken several drawing classes, including a figure drawing class that used live nudes every session, and they have to stay completely still for long periods of time. Staying completely still for any length of time is a real chore for me, but if I could get passed that - then sure. As long as it was handled professionally.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 119 (view)

The ART on your walls... and WHY? Posted: 4/27/2007 11:56:12 AM
Let's see - I have two silk paintings from India, a slate carving from Ireland, a peat carved cross from Ireland, a rather strange string instrument from Ghana, a Moroccan canteen, a few handmade tapestries from Burma, a collection of 4 musical prints from China, and a few of my favorite photographs (my own photography). As for the why, well that's simple - they are beautiful and make me happy!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Beginning again Posted: 4/27/2007 9:22:13 AM
Well, I'm in the same boat as you - late thirties and starting over. I certainly don't believe that finding what you want in life is unattainable simply because of our age - I even decided to return to college after my divorce. I think in some respects, since we now know what we want and don't want from life, it makes the choices clearer and easier. As for dating, meeting people is easier, particularly with the internet and sites like POF. Some of the guess work is done for you, since you list your age, profession, kids, location, and the like. There are some wonderful people here, I have met many already. There are also some undesirables as well. Just be patient and most of them will become fairly obvious and simply disappear. As far as where to begin - I decided on a friends first approach. That seems to be working the best for me. I have made some wonderful friends in surprising locations. Maybe one of them will be something more - who knows! For you, just start where ever you are comfortable and go from there. It did seem a bit overwhelming at first, but I just jumped in with both feet. I can't help you as far as children go personally, since I don't have any. But from what I have read here it can be an issue. If your profile clearly states that you have children, then anyone who contacts you should be aware of, and accepting of, the fact that you are a package deal. I know I understand that in men's profiles, if they have children either part-time or full-time, their kids always come first. It's no different with women. I don't know how helpful I've been, but I do wish you the best of luck in your search! I hope you find the happiness you seek! Happy

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Why can't I just let go Posted: 4/27/2007 8:28:35 AM
I'm going to agree with Ron9 on this one. He speaks from experience. Have no doubt, it will be very difficult to do, but you must decide that you are DONE and are moving on. She is the mother of your child so you need to remain on speaking terms with her in that capacity, but in that capacity alone. Rally your friends and family for support in your decision - they can help keep you on the right path. All the best!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

FINAL GOODBYES Posted: 4/27/2007 8:17:48 AM
I'm afraid I didn't read your original thread either, but I can tell you from experience that even leaving a bad relationship is painful. No one likes to fail, particularly when when its failing at a relationship with someone we love. Just know that your decision was the right decision, particularly if she treated you so badly, and your heart will heal - it just takes time. Having friends and family around for support was very helpful for me when I ended my abusive marriage. They kept me positive about my decision, and made it much easier for me to move forward. Good luck!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What's a guy to do ? Posted: 4/27/2007 8:04:48 AM
I read your profile and it was very nice to read. You are well-spoken and honest in your profile - and honesty is the one trait we are all hoping to find on POF, or anywhere for that matter. Your description of who your looking for may be a bit intimidating. Those are pretty big shoes you're looking to fill! Besides, it's your perception of who someone is that will make the biggest difference in whether or not a potential mate meets your criteria, not hers. A lot of women, myself included, would not believe we could meet your expectations. So you may be scaring some off. Just give it some time. I've been looking for my soulmate for quite some time. I haven't given up yet, and neither should you. Patience, she'll show up when you least expect it! Good luck and best wishes!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

is blocking people hurtful Posted: 4/27/2007 7:44:57 AM
I never really thought of blocking someone as hurtful. Actions have consequences and, subsequently, I blocked someone for the first time yesterday. Why should anyone put up with someone who is rude or disrespectful? Do I feel bad about blocking him? No. It wasn't me who behaved badly. If I had done to someone what this guy did to me, I would expect to be blocked myself.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Good Evening from Vero Beach, Florida Posted: 4/27/2007 5:05:56 AM
Thanks for the warm welcomes!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 135 (view)

guys with lots of tattoos Posted: 4/27/2007 4:48:38 AM
It depends on the guy and how he carries it. For some it just doesn't work, others it is soooooo hot!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Women and small dogs Posted: 4/27/2007 4:39:37 AM
For some I think it is a fashion statement. Others may simply have restrictions where they live as to the size of the dog they can have. I think it is just a matter of personal preference. Personally I like big dogs - I have 2 Rottweilers - so not all women are into itty bitty dogs.

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What is it with women & animals? Posted: 4/27/2007 4:32:23 AM
It's not just women, men can get very attached to animals too. It's an animal lover thing and you either get it or you don't. Sorry!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

How often do you update your picture. Posted: 4/27/2007 4:27:26 AM
Having a digital camera so I can update my photos anytime I like, as far as head shots go. (Body shots are a bit tougher since I need someone to do that for me.) I just updated my photos last week!

*Lyric Misha*

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Forum addicts and non-posters.. Posted: 4/27/2007 4:21:12 AM
I'm addicted to the forums, but don't post often. Usually someone has already said something to the effect of what I would have said and don't really see the point. Now, do I think it makes someone more interesting - not necessarily. I have found there are many people on here that don't post in the forums and are fascinating, it just takes a little more time to figure it out.

keiranna

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Good Evening from Vero Beach, Florida Posted: 4/24/2007 5:22:46 PM
I must say that POF has been quite and experience since I joined a month ago. I have made a couple of great friends already and received some wonderful help with my profile (constructive criticism is always welcome). The forums are great - which I am helplessly hooked on already - and have helped me considerably in dealing with some usavory characters. This is a wonderful site and great fun! So glad I found it!

keiranna

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Would you date someone who is mentally ill?????? Posted: 4/22/2007 3:37:14 PM
Not all people with mental illnesses are as easily recognized as some would imagine. Millions of people with Bipolar Disorder lead very normal lives with normal, healthy relationships. I should know - I'm one of them. If someone with the disorder "freaks out," as you put it, then they are either not on medication or not on the right medication, and they need help - but unless they want help there is absolutely nothing you can do. Would I date someone with a mental illness? Yes, just like I would date someone diagnosed with some other form of illness. As long as the person is interested in their own well-being and wants to control the illness I don't see a problem. But then, I always believed that I should treat people the way I want to be treated, because you never know when the shoe will be on the other foot.

keiranna

Joined: 3/31/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Phone No. In First Message? Posted: 4/22/2007 2:58:46 PM
It's happened to me - a guy wants to chat on the phone after an IM conversation of only a few minutes. Personally, I'm not in a rush. I'd rather chat via e-mail and IM a few times, at least, prior to giving out my phone number or receiving theirs and then calling someone. Anyone who is in that big of a hurry gives me great pause. Then again, maybe I'm just too cautious.

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