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 Author Thread: Should she have paid for her share of meal ?
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 368 (view)
 
Should she have paid for her share of meal ?
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:20:42 AM
A bill? I guess he should ask her to "do the right thing." Lol.

Seriously, though... OP, there is not much merit to the question. She might have decided not to go out again before the meal was paid, or after. Yet, it is an aesthetic choice, really.

Clearly she probably felt that:
A) You both had enjoyed fairly good company; and
B) She respected you enough not to make a show of forcibly "turning away from you" by insisting on paying.

Either way, there's no way to know for sure how she felt. She may have seemed a little tuned-out at some point.... But even then perhaps she was not sure how she felt until after a little post-date introspection.

All in all, the way she handled herself was classy enough.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How many messages before you ask for face to face?
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:01:25 PM
One thing I find is that I can't really form an attachment to a guy without hearing his voice... Not the clingy sort of attachment, but the "you give me butterflies" sort of attachment - the feeling with someone new.

So, if we get to 4-5 messages, I feel a bit annoyed with the general situation.. and I'm wondering if he plans on asking for my number any time soon. If not, I'm moving on.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
what is she thinking?
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:51:18 PM
She's interested in you, but does not want to seem overeager. She may be waiting for you to be more aggressive. I.e., try saying, "Hey, let's go on a date. How about a movie and ice cream, 9pm this Saturday?"
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 671 (view)
 
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:00:05 PM

Apparently you are not a very good judge of character. Also, I am not sure exactly what is left between "not looking for anything serious" and "not into one night stands?" (Does not exactly provide a precise definition of what you are looking for.)


Maybe a MTR? Something you don't really expect to go somewhere, but you figure you can at least treat eachother decently. Fun, sex, exploration... but a defined lack of pressure. Which is how many good relationships begin.

Alas for the OP... That guy was a jerk who probably read "not into one night stands" as "please, respect me?" and "not looking for anything serious" as "yeah, let's hit it and quit it!!" Not really the fault of the OP IMO... that guy was predestined for lameness.

Unless it was his first girl ever, there's a chance he didn't know exactly what she wanted... But it's more likely that he knew he was using her and did it anyway... At very least, it was poor form to not call at all after.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Locked out, and wondering... Guys, help!
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:33:57 PM
"Ah, I have stayed at his house entire weeks while he was at work for 10 hours a day."

You are making yourself WAY WAY WAY too available. Seeing him for weeks in a row at a time is a bad idea, let alone waiting at the house for him to come home.

You're driving two hours to see him! That's enough of an exchange without putting the other areas of your life aside. A man should be the dessert in your life, not the main course. If you don't appear to have your own life, the potential for long-term drops A LOT.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Locked out, and wondering... Guys, help!
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:26:36 PM
I know a lot of people for whom key swapping occurs at 1.5 years or later on... It's pretty much a step before moving in or marriage, and at eight months he probably isn't vying for either quite yet.

It also occurs more naturally if the people live close by eachother. There's not really a need for you to have a key for visiting, when most of the time he actually is there to let you in.

Finally, why would you sit in a man's driveway for one or two hours? It is a distance away, but still, it would be a better idea and visual to leave a note for him to call you, or that you'll be back in the evening... versus the appearance that you can't find something to do in the meanwhile other than sitting and waiting for him (ie: bookstore, nature, local pub).

Just a thought.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 507 (view)
 
Why do men ruin relationships with video games?
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:13:12 AM
that's not true, actually, about getting really good at games faster than anything else.

Some games, like Harry Potter, sure.

However, I know alot of people that play fighting games (Capcom vs SNK 2), and getting really good at those games requires time and dedication (two years for me)... True skill/ being "good" requires a high level of gameplay that most people don't present, especially in a short amount of time.

For these guys, the gaming isn't just an escape. They like being good at it, but they work to get and stay that way, and play... just for the love of it.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 76 (view)
 
women watching women strippers
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:52:09 AM
I've gone a few times :) The female body is awesome to behold.

I haven't really noticed any unclean girls? Maybe some of us are going to the wrong clubs.

And yeah... it can definitely be a turn-on. Especially because the ladies are more likely to touch-flirt with other women than with men :) (Cases of lots of money excluded.)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
i say it's too far a drive, she ignores that & says lets meet.
Posted: 11/1/2007 10:45:56 AM
"ms 20 .... what do you mean "tomozzo never comes!" i don't get it."

I think he's making a pun toward the movie title, "Tomorrow Never Comes." It's also a decent country song.

I lol'd. :)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 225 (view)
 
Would You Help An Ex In Need?
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:40:40 AM
I would absolutely help.

I refuse to ever be the one who is too bitter over the past to give them the same respect that I gave before, even if "the love is gone."
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 296 (view)
 
Why do men ruin relationships with video games?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:12:34 PM
Welderwantedthis-

Exactly! Hobbies can either enhance or weaken relationships.

Some men are obsessed with sports, some with videogames, etc...

Try and share the hobby with them! I got into fighting games because of my ex, and they can become really enjoyable :) Couples being unable/unwilling to share in pastimes is nothing new, but there is nothing wrong with video games as opposed to other activities.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 295 (view)
 
Why do men ruin relationships with video games?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:08:46 PM
Vancer--

Damn, that player is great! :D
I really wanted to go to Evo East this year, but the plans fell through.

You might want to check out www.newchallenger.net :)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
should your pretend
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:23:03 AM
Sometimes you may actually find new things you are interested in.

I cultivated a greater interest in fighting games through one of my exes.

If one are both of you are unwilling to explore the other's interests or cannot share in new ones, I would view it as a problem.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 140 (view)
 
diamonds are forever,would you like one?
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:21:06 AM
If he cheated or murdered my grandmum, yeah, I'd keep the ring.

Otherwise, back it goes.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
i think its a womans playground on dating sites---its not a place for men
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:13:09 AM
Well, I certainly hope that dating sites are a place for men to be :o

I can understand your frustration, but it is still true that a lot of women still enjoy being pursued. Of these women, some simply don't consider the feelings of gentleman e-callers.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Two Questions About Cheating: 1) Why? & 2) Always a Cheater?
Posted: 5/30/2007 12:04:23 AM
I would disagree with your definition of cheating, as I feel it's only really cheating if parties A and B are within a clear, discussed relationship.

However if the two are somewhat invested with one another, I would considered unmentioned activities involving person C on the part of either party rather deceptive, or a sudden breaking with the extra party as cruel.

People are drawn to the "Person C" not because they are necessarily better or more attractive, but because they are new and "shiny."

I've been the person not hooking up with C. It hurts, true. But eventually you've got to rise above your pain. You're only a victim so long as you let yourself be.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Games people play
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:59:11 PM
As I read in a book, men have a little light that eventually turns on in their life, which indicates that they are ready for serious relationships and/or settling down...

I think the same is true for alot of women. Not everyone is looking for a knight, and some do look just for a night...
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 251 (view)
 
Why do men ruin relationships with video games?
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:56:52 PM
Psha!

I would play the game with them. Even better, if they play fighing games, I'd love it :)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 105 (view)
 
DO you think there is someone
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:55:42 PM
I think that there is at least one other someone who would make a good match for everyone out there.

Whether or not you are lucky, proactive or some combination of the two in level enough to meet such a person within your lifetime, is another question entirely...
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Is everyone jaded these days?
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:54:03 PM
Not jaded! :) Over the past hurts, and cherishing the good times and learning from the bad.

No sense in holding grudges and breeding negativity, but no sense in having been hurt without learning from it :)

Onward dating soldier!
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Horrific Habits and Other Deal Breakers
Posted: 5/29/2007 11:51:39 PM
I have to admit... The one thing that gets me is the bad french kiss. It's like a pulsing, slimy frog dagger being shoved down my throat. I can deal with the less skilled in the kissing art, if we've gotten past the first couple dates, however...

If you're going to go for the french early on... Please, do be good at it :)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
i dont know whether to write on my profile or not!
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:14:13 AM
You look happy and fun, and that is as important as anything else.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
The grass is always greener
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:12:34 AM
MD has a decent amount of stuff to do. Any state can seem boring if you don't live in the main cities.

Why do I like MD? Well, in comparison--

West Coast: Earthquakes
Up North: Really Cold Winters
Southeast: Hurricanes
Southwest: Tornadoes
Florida: Heh, Florida. I don't even like Disneyworld ;).
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is anyone really all that serious??
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:09:30 AM
I am :)

I am up for having fun :) But, I keep the feelings of others in mind, don't ask for a number unless I will call, and always consider that the guy I am talking with could become more special to me :)
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
people with no photo in profile
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:06:01 AM
I prefer to see a pic up front. If we are looking to date eachother at all, then how someone looks can impact attraction.

Sure, someone's personality can make them more attractive, or less attractive, after you get to know them. But there are some people to whom one will simply never be physically attracted.

For me, in a relationship, physical attraction is necessary, since it impacts passion. With all the people that are available in the world, there is no sense in wasting one another's time. They would see you in real life first, and for dating, the internet should be a tool, not a mask.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Anyone from Montgomery County in here?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:58:58 AM
Germantown/Rockville/MontgomeryVillage/SilverSpring, wooooo =D
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Where is everyone from?
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:56:53 AM
I was born in Connecticut, and raised in Maryland.

I grew up in Montgomery Village, in Montgomery County. I recently moved to Frederick, but still prefer to spend most of my time in Germantown, Rockville, and Silver Spring.

-Leilani
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Good places to take a date
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:50:53 AM
A couple things I like to do in the area, aside from bars/clubs/movies (the average)-

The Baltimore Aquarium is a very good date. It takes several hours to look at everything, and has a rainforest section, aside from the actual exhibits. When you're done, the inner harbor is lovely to walk around in, and there's plenty of restaurants just yards away.
Upside: Go Fridays after 5 in the off-season (winter; check their website!) , and you can get get in for $8/head instead of the normal $24.
Downside: City parking (not too bad, though-- $10 for the night).

The Cherry Blossom (Sakura) Festival in DC-

When the Cherry Blossom trees bloom during a few weeks in Spring, the waterfront area by the Lincoln Memorial is absolutely gorgeous . Another area of DC has a street festival with Japanese items and food for sale, as well as more standard fare, performances and radio promotions. Google it!
Upside: Travel on the metro to get to different areas of DC for cheap!
Downside: There's a limited time window when the blossoms are available for viewing.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
This would annoy you too, wouldnt it??
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:33:03 AM
It pretty much means she is interested, but wants him to put himself out there first.
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Being called 'cute' and 'sweetie' compliment or insult?
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:30:25 AM
I really don't like being called "cutie." Well, let me qualify that.

Coming from a friend, or a stranger, that is nice to hear. It is polite and affectionate.

Coming from a bf or someone you are flirting with, hearing "sexy" is the much better option. Come on men! If you are interested, call the girl "sexy" and use kino!
 HeavenlyLei
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 231 (view)
 
did women kill chivalry? what do we need to do to bring it back?
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:22:29 AM
I think it's hard to find gentlemen, but given a chance, the kind of men you might not expect to will turn chivalrous.

The guy I am dating right now was sweet when we were dating casually. Now that we're trying out exclusive dating, he does more chivalrous things and is more openly affectionate.

I think that to receive, you have to give. And alot of men, because they are used to girls who don't treat them well, don't like to "put themselves out there" romantically in the beginning.

Many guys can swing either way in terms of how romantic they are, and if you are okay with him being cautious in the beginning, you might be pleasantly surprised in the end
 
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