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Thread: Sexual Harrassment Harrassment

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Sexual Harrassment Harrassment Posted: 9/9/2008 7:21:37 AM
Sadly "PC" has just gone overboard, and legal departments are paranoid about litigation. A few years ago I asked the HR department if I could buy ALL of my staff flowers and chocolates to say "thank you". After much pontificating, followed by consultation with the legal department, I was advised that no I could not under any circumstances. Since then, in my jurisdiction, harassment legislation has tightened further and I do not ask any of my staff any personal questions. For many of my staff, even after several years, I have no idea if they are married or in a relationship. I don't even ask them if they had a good weekend, I don't invite them for coffe (even during work hours), I don't ask what they thought of an election result (in ANY country), or what they thought of a sporting event. For me, legal advice is very clearly "stick to work related discussions". From a legal viewpoint I understand it , but from a pure simple human viewpoint I find it so sad when I am genuinely interested in my staff and want to show that interest. I can't speak for your jusrisdiction, but generally speaking, I think society has lost a lot, not gained as a result of some anti harassment legislation.

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 96 (view)

The worst breakup line ever Posted: 9/9/2008 1:35:16 AM
A decade ago (on my birthday !) I came home wondering what surprise my (then) wife had for me. She DEFINITELY surprised me ! Coming through the door the conversation was something like .. Wife "Hi , guess what, I have accepted a job offer in Japan" ! Me " Japan ? I didn't even know you were looking for a job. I doubt I could get a job in Japan, I dont think my japanese is good enough". Wife "I wasn't looking but I had an offer ! Anyway, I wasnt expecting you to come with me ... " The conversation kind of went downhill from that point !!

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 212 (view)

Has being online toughened you up emotionally or made you more sensitive? Posted: 9/8/2008 9:55:39 PM
I have learned that ALL threads with "Why are ALL ..." are generalisations. ALL threads like that are just shorthand for "My ex did [ABC] and I am 100% victim and ALL of you should support me by agreeing that [He \| She] was an [Expletive] and that death is too good for [Him \| Her]". ALL threads / posts with the word ALL should be ignored.

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

First Date Pet Peeves Posted: 9/7/2008 11:33:56 PM
Basically anything that tells me I didn't get "full and frank" disclosure. In two categories ... 1) When the profile is eligible for a fiction award. This can include anything from picture(s), to anything written (hobbies, interests, weight, skills ... ). I don't care if she can cook or not (I love cooking so I am not fussed); if she claims to be a chef, but can't make a cup of tea, then I can't trust anything else written or said. 2) When the profile omits important information ("lying by omission"). If the person is planning to move to the other side of the planet, that would be "pertinent" information. If the person still has a partner, I would like to at least have the opportunity to take it into consideration before saying "no thanks". To use an analogy, if I am buying a house or car, I expect "full and frank" disclosure. It is JUST an analogy, yes there is a HUGE difference; please don't fill my inbox with hate mail ....

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Worst thing You did to someone you were involved with Posted: 9/5/2008 11:16:18 PM
At the end of the day, I think we have to remind ourselves that NO ONE forced us to date the other person, and if they behave "inappropriately", WE are also partly to blame for our poor decision to date that person. It is far to easy to blame the other party for evrything that went wrong. I think as an absolute minimum we should find out how / why we made a wrong decision, either in choosing to date that person, or during the relationship causing them to behave unacceptably. One story I read, possibly apocryphal, pertains to a UK professional footballer who was fooling around. His wife sold his new ferrari on eBay for one pound. That should certainly remind us we need to be responsible for our own behaviours !

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

I keep being dumped for other women Posted: 9/5/2008 11:04:24 PM
I don’t know anything about you; all I have to go on is a your profile and your post(s). So I will just make a few comments , not in any particular order. Your profile name is “Psychokitty” and you comment “I will stalk you for a bit” . Maybe they are just tongue in cheek comments, but to emphasise that to strangers, and from the beginning, I find very disturbing. It would certainly put me off contacting someone. You seem to be sending out mixed message such as “I don’t know what I want”, Seeking “Dating” and “Not ready for anything serious”. To me, “Just got out of a relationship” sounds like “just escaped” e.g. “from prison”. This conveys to me a strong negative sense with unresolved issues regarding the previous relationship. Maybe something more neutral would be better e.g. “have recently been in a relationship”. They are just a few observations; maybe you need to think about what you want, then ensure your profile reflects it, e.g. “having recently been in a relationship I am just looking to make some new friends”. Good luck !

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Languages Posted: 9/1/2008 10:18:54 PM
As you can guess from my handle, I love languages ! I spent many years travelling round europe, specifically to improve my language skills. I am now in Australia, and whenever I have the opportunity I travel to asia, partly to improve my asian language skills (although the food is another good reason) ! When I lived in Melbourne, to maintain my French skills I joined the Alliance Francaise, and Le Francais a Table. The latter was good as it was a weekly cheese and wine event; wine definitely improves french pronunciation ! They both had classes for all levels, and I made some friends there too. I don't know which organisations are there now. I think the biggest "mistake" is that people expect there is just one way to learn a language (e.g. classes). In my experience it requires a multiplicity of methods e.g. watching films (sbs etc), reading websites in that language, classes, and trying to find a pen friend or two (here or some social networking sites) trying to learn english. I think the difficulty depends on the linguistic classification and your background, e.g. a spanish or italian speaker would find it easier to learn french than an english speaker. Another tip is to go full on in the beginning. If you just do an hour a week, I think you quickly forget what you learn. When i start a new language I try to do a minimum of an hour a day for the first few months. Establish a linguistic base, then you can build on it. Bonne chance !

Joined: 4/5/2007

Msg: 117 (view)

Found my guy on Hot or Not - not good Posted: 8/31/2008 7:45:18 AM
Yes spicynicegirl I am sure some men are tricky creatures. FYI I checked my gf's profile on Facebook and discovered that a) she was dating - good news. b) the name of her "partner" wasn't me. We had been dating for a couple of years, and given that she has three university degrees, and was by profession a counsellor, I guess you could say that some women can be tricky too. That was all a while ago and I have moved on. There is no simple way of know knowing who will or won't cheat. It isn't restricted to either gender, profession, age group or any other demographic. You just have to be careful, and if (when) you do get hurt, move on. I am sure I will be hurt again, I have survived before, I will survive again.

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