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uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Cheap restaurant coupons Posted: 8/11/2009 3:45:26 PM
I hang out on another site and I saw that if you go to restaurant . com and use the promotional code----portion---- you can get $25.00 coupons for $2.00. I used the 30 mile search range and found quite a few nice restaurants close to me. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

polygamy > monogamy Posted: 6/25/2009 2:59:12 PM
Nope. No thanks. I'd much prefer a Chihuahua. Gees jersey girl........thought you would prefer a weiner dog!!! A big and fat one at that LOL Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Fascinating Ways to Orgasm Posted: 4/4/2009 7:13:13 AM
Old G/F used to have huge, crashing big time orgasms while standing. I usually had to help hold her up for a bit. All I had to do was very, very slowly,,,,,,,, and in a major teasingly way, pull, slip, slide, tug and tease my platinum Master card out......love: Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Screening New Contacts Posted: 3/29/2009 3:43:45 PM
Old G/F of mine clued me in on how to tell if someone is lying about their age......They are saying 45 and looking 55. When they tell you how old they are, figure out about what year they would of graduated high school. Then pop the question of when they graduated!!!! If they are lying to you, the mental wheels will be churning at warp speed and you can spot it from a MILE away!!! I've used it a few times. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

presses up against me? Posted: 3/23/2009 2:34:38 PM
and I figure.....a grown man can deal with a bit of boob contact without making a big deal of it! Once again, you are overestimating our abilities!!!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

can you stay hard if you are NOT attracted physically.... Posted: 3/13/2009 7:48:26 PM
I have heard of thing like" turn her around" or "shut the lights off" which although they sound awful I guess they happen and I suppose it depends on circumstance like if a man was on his trap-line all winter and came into town.. hahhahahahha Don't turn her down......turn her over!!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

The misuse of the term small-busted... Posted: 3/12/2009 7:11:17 PM
When a woman in her 40's or 50's has a nice set of A's and they are still standing right up and looking right at me............PURRRRRFECT!!!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Superbowl recipe to die for Posted: 2/1/2009 8:06:09 PM
I made the bacon explosion for the superbowl. Here's what I think....... The dry rub both inside and out is too much. The dry rub and the bacon also made it pretty salty. If I was to use a dry rub again, I would make my own and leave out most or all of the salt. Going to cook it next time with out any dry rub. The dry rub overpowers the bacon and sausage really. On top of the sausage, I will be putting in a lot of garlic, onions and peppers. Also, I forgot to roll the sausage up first and then wrap the bacon around it. I wrapped the bacon and sausage together into a roll. It actually looks really nice that way when you slice it up. The bacon is throughout the loaf in a spiral. My first try on a one to ten scale.......6/7 ish Everyone tried it but, no seconds. There's a LOT of room for improvement!!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

goose Posted: 1/30/2009 6:59:39 PM
I just remembered....... As you cook the meat, keep adding the Italian dressing onto the meat. You want to cook one side, flip and cook the other. Don't flip it back and forth. The more rare you cook it the better! Slice the smallest pieces open to check the color and work your way to the biggest pieces. You said you will be cooking 2 up soon. Marinate them both and cut one breast in half and cook it up. See how it came out. There's a learning curve to cooking goose. You have about a 2-3 minute window between perfect and shoe leather. When it looks a really bit too rare, take it off and put it on a plate. Goose continues to cook off the heat. I usually cook goose for super bowl Sunday parties and everyone loves it. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

goose Posted: 1/30/2009 6:43:50 AM
OK, I have cooked a LOT of Canadian goose. #1, don't bother trying to cook the whole bird! The only decent meat on the whole bird is the breast meat. It's kind of a shame to throw the rest of the bird out but, that's the way it is. #2, I have tried at least 10 different way's to cook the meat and by far the best is this..... Put the breast in a zip lock bag and add in the cheapest Italian dressing you can buy. Can't tell you why but, the good Italian dressing will not turn out as good as the cheap stuff???? Let it marinade in the fridge for a whole day or a bit more, slice the breast into 1/2" slices and BBQ on med heat. DO NOT--DO NOT--DO NOT cook past pink on the inside. Anything past pink makes the meat extremely tough. If anything, I go a bit on the rare side. Goose meat has no fat and very little juices. Take the smaller pieces off the first. You can't cook goose like beef. Well, you can but, good luck chewing it!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

POPPERS AND WOMEN? Posted: 1/21/2009 7:47:11 PM
Friend of mine died a few months ago from huffing (nitrous oxide). He was found dead with the nitrous bottle next to him. Not sure if he would consider it cheap at this point?????? Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Wine Anyone?? Posted: 1/4/2009 7:39:45 PM
Im 25 and just discovered red zinfandel. Wow, does it kick in from zero to sixty fast! Ahhhhh grasshopper...........You have much to learn. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Crock Pot Rotisserie Chicken Posted: 1/3/2009 7:16:13 PM
I wonder if you could put a layer of raw whole potatoes down instead of the aluminum foil balls so you would have cooked potatoes with a slight chicken flavor to go with the meal? One problem I have with cooking whole chickens...... my grocery store has 3-4 different flavored rotisserie chickens for $1.00 more than a raw/uncooked chicken. No labor, pots, etc. and I can pick out the best looking one. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Group Sex Posted: 1/3/2009 12:42:05 PM
Hey Grizzly Bear, Just a FYI..................... you might not want to use the term "wench" on a dating site. Just a thought. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Group Sex Posted: 1/3/2009 8:25:22 AM
Once again mizz MelloDLyn shows what a wise woman she is!!! Too bad about the distance babe........ Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Out of my element here... Posted: 1/1/2009 7:39:32 AM
Can I be the first one in line to be a stunt double????? Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Wine Anyone?? Posted: 12/19/2008 3:29:35 PM
Red white or anything in between........ Robert Mondavi (Cali) and Rothchild (france). These guys are arguably the two best wine makers in the world!!!! Hard to go wrong with Fetzer (sp?) Cali wine also. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Marinated garlic part 2....Wheat germ?????? Posted: 12/18/2008 5:45:46 PM
I almost forgot. I don't want to boil the garlic since it turns the cloves to mush. The product I used to buy was crisp and almost crunchy like raw garlic. It comes from Italy and I have a feeling they irradiate it (Europe is much more accepting to this) or have a secret to stopping the fermenting. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Marinated garlic part 2....Wheat germ?????? Posted: 12/18/2008 5:41:24 PM
Hi there, posted up a thread a while ago about trying to replicate a store bought marinated garlic cloves that were to die for. Can't buy them anymore since there is now a FDA warning for non cooked garlic products. My grocer won't sell them. I can get the taste close after a few weeks of getting them "happy" in a cool place but then the garlic starts to ferment and goes bad. In the sex and sexuality section.....it was posted up that wheat germ will stop home made massage oils from going rancid. I have no clue about wheat germ. What it is or what it does but, if I can get my darn garlic to stop fermenting, I will be a happy camper. Your thought's on stopping the fermenting?????? Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

the best ribs you will ever have Posted: 12/16/2008 2:49:30 PM
Moonchild........ got invited to a Christmas day rib cook off and thought I would show up with beef ribs when everyone else is bringing pork ribs. I went to my ultra fancy super market today and asked about beef short ribs. Guy handed me a vacuum sealed package marked---->short ribs but there wasn't a rib in there at all?????? Soooooooo I went up to my usual meat market, they didn't have any out and the butcher was gone for the day. Do short ribs not have the ribs in there????? Confused now!!!! I'd like to cook up a couple small batches so I can fine tune things before the big cook off but I am off to a slow start. Jim P.S., Miss Moonie, air fare is cheap. You want some ribbies, fly your azz over here and have some!!!! HA HA

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

the best ribs you will ever have Posted: 12/15/2008 8:30:38 PM
Smiling salmon....... if you are still checking in here would you give me the amounts of what you are using please? ~Before putting them in, rub with smoked salt celery salt chipotle powder fine crushed garlic fine crushed ginger sweet onion processed to a paste smoked paprika dark brown sugar white or pink ground peppercorns minced tarragon I tried to message you but cant with your restrictions. Or, if someone else can have her P/M me, that would be great!!! Thanks, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 99 (view)

ROCHESTER POF Pre-Christmas Party 12/06 , 6-11pm at Taylor's Posted: 12/2/2008 10:59:39 AM
I am kinda sitting on the fence as far as attending........... What's the latest 411 on Starbaby?????? Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Freezing in glass jars????? Posted: 12/1/2008 7:28:20 AM
Well, I was hoping to get away from plastic. Hearing more and more about chemicals leaching out of the plastic and into food. Thanks for the responses everyone! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Freezing in glass jars????? Posted: 11/30/2008 4:21:32 PM
I just whipped up about 2 gals of spaghetti sauce from the Classico brand sauce and added a bunch of stuff to make it the way I like. Was reading in another thread about freezing in special glass jars and have a stupid question..... Can I use the Classico glass jars to freeze the sauce if I don't put the lid on and leave room for expansion???? Or am I just going to be breaking the jars as the sauce freezes???? I can always go to my old standby of plastic zip lock freezer bags. Thanks, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What words would you LEAST like to hear after sex? Posted: 11/29/2008 1:05:18 PM
Mommy..............what's this mans name???????? Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Do Straight Males Need/Enjoy Having Their Prostate Stimulated? Posted: 11/22/2008 3:51:24 PM
As long as I don't see her biting her finger nails afterward!!! Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Just because you like sex doesn't mean your a porn star!!! Posted: 11/5/2008 5:44:30 PM
So, let me get this straight........... The guy banged you like a screen door in a hurricane and you are complaining?????? Women....cant live with em, cant have heterosexual sex with out em!!! Jim P.S., the down the throat dealio was uncalled for. A bit of notice is only fair.

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Holy schmolly......... My rice cooker is into B&DSM!!!! Posted: 10/23/2008 1:56:49 PM
I have a cheapie rice cooker made by Black and Decker. Last night I got the idea to throw in---->with the rice, raw onion, raw garlic, raw green peppers, cut up raw carrots a TBL spoon of brown sugar and chicken boullion (sp?). Cooked it up with a touch more water than usual and had it with some roast lemon/garlic chicken chunks. Came out great!!! Anyone else into rice cooker abuse?????? Never knew I would be soooooo into Black and Decker SM--------->B&DSM HEHE Just wondering what all I can throw in there and come up with a quick meal???? Oh and when you reply there's really no need to refer to me as master or anything kinky like that.......Well, unless you want to LOL Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Spicy rice for a pig roast...... Posted: 10/9/2008 7:24:07 PM
Years ago I worked in Rochester NY and bought lunch at a Puerto Rican (sorry spelling?) place that had roast pork served with a rice/beans side. Going to be roasting a 300 lb. pig this Sat. Any advice on a rice/beans side dish to be served to everyone???? Also, for the first time we are infusing each quarter with a different flavor and looking for some advise on that. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Ejaculation etiquette, early in relationship??!! Posted: 9/8/2008 7:26:52 PM
Deborah.... Monica's dress is actually still a piece of federal evidence. Locked away in a secure vault somewhere I would guess. As much as I like what Clinton did as a president, it's sad to think that an ex-presidents spooge is on an young interns dress, locked away for what could be forever....and his wife didn't dump the guy. Thankfully he must of smoked all the cigars that went up her psway otherwise they also would be in the evidence vault. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

I have a question about asking someone out Posted: 2/8/2008 2:43:49 PM
O.P., Tell her you heard working at a gas station does not pay all that well and you would like to do something to help her out in some way. Then offer to buy her dinner...... Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

nice and good sex Posted: 2/2/2008 10:16:30 AM
Justfrozen, I have a question for you about a unique, antique bible I have. Cant P/M you with your restrictions. P/M me will ya????? OT, I suggest you go silent on him. If the guy wants you, He will be more than willing to chase you around. Or at least, I would for the right woman. Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Looking for a better condom Posted: 1/23/2008 6:20:37 AM
Super glue????? Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Syracuse Party At Caddy Shack Tavern Posted: 1/19/2008 3:12:55 PM
Actually Richie.... I usually use the term in the summer time to describe a bunch of 20ish guys in a boat with not a woman in sight!!!! Makes my soon to be 52 year old azz very proud whan I have the Thompson twins with me. Come on summer!!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Syracuse Party At Caddy Shack Tavern Posted: 1/19/2008 6:39:20 AM
Rich and Sotired..... I have always heard it refered to as a "sausage fest" but that may just be the term used here west of Syr????? Ummmm errrr cough cough not that I have ever been to a party with way too many guys hanging around or anything...... Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 196 (view)

Why are so many middle-age men in the online-dating-world into motorcycles? Posted: 1/18/2008 1:27:17 PM
Justfrozen, would you P/M me please? I have a question about selling a antique book I own. OT, I love to ride and still have my first bike. Going to get it out for the first time in 20 some years this spring. Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Cooking fresh water fish??????? Posted: 1/16/2008 9:12:27 PM
OK..... here's a dumb azz question????? An egg wash is what? The whole raw egg scrambled up or yellow part only? And thanks for the tips everyone!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Cooking fresh water fish??????? Posted: 1/16/2008 2:57:29 PM
I have a few customers who give me fresh water perch and bass from time to time. Have always baked the fish with some butter, sea salt, a touch of pepper and a hunk of lemon if I have some. Anyone care to share different way to cook perch or bass?? Just getting tired of the same thing all the time. Keep it simple if you can...... I am dyslectic (sp?) and have attention deficit......Kidding Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 205 (view)

bad pickuplines Posted: 1/13/2008 7:32:14 PM
Had a woman I never met walk up to me years ago at my local Fri. night hangout...... She says, the rumor here is you have a nice co*k. Hope you don't mind but I already packed an overnight bag....... Oh yeah.....it worked!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Dead F*ck? Excuse my french. Posted: 1/13/2008 7:04:20 PM
I learned a long time ago, when it comes to even more potentially bad sex....... Don't turn em down.....turn em over!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Things women find offensive while dining out. Posted: 12/30/2007 9:02:13 PM
Could also be a "farmer blow"..... FYI, went to dinner for the first time with a little blondie last Fri. As we were walking through the parking lot, she said, "hang on, I'll be right there and disappeared, just kind of walked away from me. I walked back to see what was up and she had her jeans pulled down and was peeing on the pavement between the cars....... Was it OK that I didn't say goodbye???? Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

pornstars!! Posted: 12/30/2007 8:07:27 PM
Well..... I lived with a woman who liked to------>pretend she was a porn star. When we were in bed with my eyes closed, she was a porn star..... Opened my eyes, she was my G/F... Best of both worlds. Even now, if I close my eyes, she's still my porn star!!!! HE HE Memories,,,,,,,,Ahhhhh memories I tell ya!!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

Dealing with wine snobs...Help. Posted: 12/24/2007 8:27:41 PM
LOL..... Tantric, I actually know "Richard" Marvin Sands named Richards Wild Irish Rose after his Son. The Sands family and mine have been close friends for 40 or so years. Marvin is gone now and we miss him dearly. Do a google search on Canandaigua wine or Constelation (sp?) Brands. What Marvin started has now become the largest wine makers and spirits distributors in the world....The 800 lb. gorrilla as they say. Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

What type of initial email are you more likely to respond to? Posted: 12/22/2007 7:59:45 AM
Hey OP....... Psssttt come here. Don't tell ANYONE but this is what I use. Works every time!!! Like shooting fish in a bucket! Plz keep it to your self, OK????? ____________________________________________________________ Hi sweetie, I already told my step mom you are my girlfriend. She is making sauce and meatballs for when you come for dinner this weekend. Dad thinks you are the "ONE". Send me your visa card #'s, exp. date and the three digit # on the back and I will reserve a room for you. It's a real nice hotel so don't be shocked when you see how much it is. Just remember, it's the start of our lives together......Besides with a credit card you can just pay the interest month after month. Oh yeah, my step mom just said she would vouch for what a good piece of azz I am. She's pretty cool like that. She always says, sex should be kept between the three people involved in it. So.............let me know when you can get here. We all love you already. Be good, Jim __________________________________________________________ You can thank me later...... Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Numbers Stamped on Cast Iron Skillet Handles -- What do they mean? Posted: 12/14/2007 7:44:10 AM
Form a border of real life old hand tools used in the kitchen. Random.....I have an rusty old 9/16 socket if you have a spot on your wall for it. Found it in the lawn when I first bought my place. Actually my lawn mower "found" it. Free, no charge, grattis, zip, zero, nadda, it's yours!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Marinated garlic recipe help Posted: 12/12/2007 2:13:17 PM
Hey Random Entry, the elephant garlic I just used almost peeled it'self.... Usually, I shuck the garlic and then put a few cloves into a small bowl with water in it. Microwave it for 2-3 minutes. The skin will slip off in your fingers. Easy as can be. I have tried the hot oil method 2 ways. 1--- heating both the oil and the garlic to about 250 and then into jars. The garlic when you take it out of the jars is mush. Like oatmeal. Not what I am l looking for. 2--- heating the oil and pouring into "loaded" jars, capping off and covering with a dish towel. The garlic at the outside of the jar turns to mush and the inside pieces are very soft but not firm. Like I have said before. The Flora product is firm, almost crisp. They are doing something I am not. Just cant quite figure out what. I was wondering today about irradiation???? This product does come from Europe. Is irradation more common there than here in the US???? Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Marinated garlic recipe help Posted: 12/10/2007 8:07:01 PM
Thanks for some good reading....... I was hoping the salt was going to kill things off. Either I didn't put enough in or it just wont work in this case. I have tried boiling the cloves IN with the oil and the garlic turns to mush. Have also tried pouring boiling oil into FILLED jars and the garlic still turned to mush. Random Entry, send me a P/M and I will see about mailing you a jar of the Flora garlic. There is a supermarket in the next town over that is supposed to carry it. Between the 2 of us we have to be able to figure out how it's done without preservatives and keeping the garlic firm and tasty.

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Gingerbread houses - I need help! Posted: 12/10/2007 12:05:52 PM
Ladies, ladies, ladies......Ugly shakes his head...... Let me tell you my ginger bread story. A few years ago for the family X-mass party everyone was required to bring a ginger bread house to be judged for a prize. We (I was with someone then) didnt have time to make a real ginger bread house but I did have time to "build " one!!! 1/4" plywood, a air nailer and I whipped up the best looking house you ever did see. About 1/2 hour to apply the icing and we were good to go!!! Won the prize as the best ginger bread house and then bet a Bro-in law $100.00 that I could stand on the house without crushing it. He went for it and I walked away $100.00 richer that X-mass!!!!! Be good, Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Marinated garlic recipe help Posted: 12/10/2007 11:39:33 AM
Random Entry, I went to your profile and tried to send you a P/M about this. I dont have a pic so I couldnt do it. Jim

uglyoldfatbalduseless

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Marinated garlic recipe help Posted: 12/10/2007 11:36:23 AM
UPDATE...... about 10 days ago I whipped up a new batch. heres what I did and what happened I bought 3 large heads of elephant garlic. Peeled the skin off and cut each clove into about 4-6 pieces. Clean cutting board, clean knife, clean hands. Boiled 4 small jars and lids and while still hot put the garlic in. Sprinkled salt, oregano and red pepper on the garlic. Poured olive oil out of a brand new jar until full. Turned the jars every day or every other in my cool dark pantry. Went to turn them today and there was oil comming out of 1 jar. The lids were buldged (sp?) out and I placed them in the sink and opened each jar. When I took the lids off the jars started foaming up. 1 jar that I tried with Italian dressing, the garlic was turning blue/gray. I think fermentation is happening. I thought you had to have yeast involved to get fermentation???? Tried a piece of garlic and the taste was comming along. I did notice, my garlic was not as salty as the Flora Brand. The salt level may???be the key? Anyones thought's? Be good, Jim

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