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Thread: Is it OK to share POSITIVE experiences you had with your ex?

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it OK to share POSITIVE experiences you had with your ex? Posted: 2/6/2009 5:00:44 PM
It's ok to bring up in small doses, but there's really no reason to bring up positive things about your ex. What are you trying to accomplish by doing so? It's perfectly ok to have good memories, but they need to be kept inside, I promise that no man you'll ever be with wants to hear about how good your ex was at anything.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Experience vs Virginity Posted: 2/6/2009 4:58:38 PM
Experience isn't a good thing. The only thing good about a girl having experience is that the sex might be good. A virgin on the other hand, will probably be kind of lost the first few times, but the upside is that they'll learn to do it exactly the say their man wants them to. Virgins FTW!!

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

why do men say they want to talk and then nothing Posted: 2/6/2009 4:54:59 PM
Sounds like just one guy said that.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

ane ideas im out Posted: 11/11/2008 11:07:22 PM
I think it's safe to assume that during the years she was away from you, she developed a pretty strong methamphedamine addiction. She used you for a place to stay and person to lean on after she lost her boyfriend and all the drugs/money during some violent gang shootout. She had to leave you again because the Versaci family knew of her whereabouts.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Just wanted some insight??? Posted: 11/11/2008 11:03:37 PM
She's a potential hoe. A "future-hoe" if you will. In other words. She's giving you massive warning signals that she will, inevitably allow one or more (perhaps even several more) guy to shag her. This may or may not be a result of alcohol, but she will definitely blame it on being drunk. So either be cool with that future, or dump the chick. Personally, I'd try giving my number to some chicks the next time we were at a bar. See how she reacts.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What is going on ? Posted: 11/11/2008 10:40:22 PM
Things don't sound too terrible. You've only been seeing him for a month. You really don't know what his daily life is like. He might be really busy at work, but for the first few weeks he was making time to text you. Guys do that. We work really hard to impress, but eventually we can't keep up and chicks get disappointed. Just give the guy time and just assume the worst. At least that way you can only be pleasantly surprised.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What is this about??? Posted: 11/11/2008 10:34:53 PM
Ummm... Sounds like she pretty much nailed it on the head buddy. Why would she be joking? Ohhhhh wait, that must've been your first internet chick. Yea...those are always the worst.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

False advertising? Posted: 11/11/2008 10:25:24 PM
Well I imagine that the guy would be disappointed, but it'd probably take more than just that to drive a guy away I think.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Blonde Obsession? Posted: 7/22/2008 1:40:04 AM
As always, there are exceptions to the rule but in most cases blonde = bland. IMO

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

am i in danger? Posted: 5/21/2008 10:40:59 PM
You're in danger. That guy's gonna chop you into little pieces and we're all gonna see it on America's Most Wanted. But I wouldn't sweat it, at least you'll be on tv.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Ever had sex w/ a homeless person? Posted: 5/21/2008 10:38:09 PM
lmfao Homeless sex FTW

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Has anyone tried just being sensual friends? Posted: 5/21/2008 10:37:19 PM
There's not much of a difference there. I've never had a friend like that, but I did have a FWB thing with a girl for about a month before we got into a relationship. It NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER ends well. EVER.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Have you every enjoyed a man with a velvet tongue? Posted: 5/21/2008 10:35:55 PM
I don't know about a velvet tongue but I definitely know my way around down there. Of course, it's not something I brag about, I just don't think it's very hard to drive a girl wild that way.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

is this a ploy? thoughts welcome! Posted: 5/21/2008 10:32:23 PM
Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. He's probably just using homework as an excuse to talk to you. Either that or he's got his priorities in order and knows that homework comes first, so he asks about that first. Either way it doesn't sound like a bad situation.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

When they say, You're Mine Posted: 5/21/2008 10:29:40 PM
I'm having trouble understanding your question. Are you trying to figure out why he would say "you're mine"? If so it's a simple as he likes you and doesn't want to share you. If you've been dating for a month then exclusivity usually follows, but what do I know...

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

HOW DO I LEAVE???? Posted: 5/21/2008 10:27:49 PM
Tell him you want to break up. Don't try to make him break up with you. If you can't handle the small task of breaking off a relationship, you're going to have even more problems in future relationships.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

IS HE CRAZY??? Posted: 5/12/2008 12:20:11 AM
I can't stand the damned things either. The "PULL OUT" method has worked wonders for me. However, there are 2 situations where I will wear a condom. 1. The girl wants me to. I carry them just in case. 2. The girl looks like she may or may not be safe. Of course, I don't usually end up with chicks like that...

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 107 (view)

Girls who smoke pot Posted: 5/12/2008 12:16:03 AM
Nothing wrong with a girl who smokes. I'm gonna be giving up the habit soon (probation...ugh) but I still wouldn't mind dating a girl who does it. Pot isn't a big deal.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Why do some men have to get perverted in their messages? Posted: 5/12/2008 12:13:46 AM
I doubt those guys post on the forums...

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Would it be a turn off? Posted: 5/12/2008 12:13:18 AM
Not a turn off. Most guys would jump for joy at that news.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Need some help Posted: 3/26/2008 12:31:32 AM
Yea dude, just tell her that you had a good time and you'd like to do it again. No point in telling her how you feel so early, she'll get the picture. Instead of figuring out how to tell her, just wait for it to happen.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

what should be my next move. Posted: 3/26/2008 12:18:50 AM
Just be patient with her as long as you see that she's making an effort. If it seems like she's not even trying to see or talk to you, then she's probably lost interest for whatever reason.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Just Wondering If I Could Get Some Help:help: Posted: 3/25/2008 11:53:31 PM
"Hey, what's up?" works fine. If the conversation doesn't flow it's because neither of you are putting much into it. If he's the one not saying much then he's probably not very interested. If you're the one not saying much, then....don't do that anymore.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

was he cheating with me? Posted: 3/25/2008 11:51:10 PM
Yea, he was cheating with you. I've seen enough of those Cheaters marathons on G4 to know.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

A stare with no smile from a guy Posted: 3/25/2008 11:47:14 PM
That's pretty creepy. Maybe he wants to kill you?

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Would it bother you? Posted: 3/25/2008 11:29:20 PM
Depends on the situation. Do I know the guys well enough to trust that nothing's going on? How long has she known the guys? If she met them after we got together I would NOT be ok with it at all.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How do you show interest without overdoing it? Posted: 3/20/2008 1:41:19 AM
You may have jumped the gun a little, but that really depends on how interested she is in you. Instead of asking if she'd like to do something, you should have made plans to talk to her on the phone again (preferably at night so that you can talk without distractions for a good amount of time.) Get engaged in a good, long conversation with her, and then suggest that you do something together. Don't ask if she'd like to do something, just mention that you should hang out some time. It's just as effective, and not nearly as forward. But if a date or whatever with you is what she wanted in the first place, I don't see why your forwardness would be a turn off.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

why a women runs when she,s the other women Posted: 3/20/2008 1:33:09 AM
why does a women in a relationship run when she,s told that your marriage is over and your leaving she is the other women but you,ve told her before hand that the marriage was already out the door before you met her tell me but she says she has deep feelings for you but won,t contact you also said you need time i just don,t understand women now i already know i,ve done one women wrong so just keep on the topic thank you Well, if you speak the way that you type then I'm going to have to say she's running from you because you talk really fast and don't pause between ideas. You type like a madman. A MADMAN!

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

reply to why girls dont like drugs Posted: 3/20/2008 1:19:39 AM
The illegal drug THC (delta 9 tetrahydrocanibonol) found in the Cannabis (or Marijuana) plant is a health risk if smoked, only for the reason that inhaling heated smoke is bad for your lungs. There have been no reported deaths from overdose, but 1/3 people involved in car accidents test positive for THC. However, THC stays in the blood stream for 20-40 days, typically a month after being intoxicated. THC is non-addictive. There have been unverified reports of acute memory loss, dry mouth, and insatiable hunger. Commonly accepted side effects include creativity, deep relaxation, and fun. Alcohol is a legal synthetic drug that contributes to countless diseases, domestic issues, fights, arrests, deaths, and tons of other horrible things. Alcohol is the #1 cause of fatal car accidents in the United States. Alcohol is highly addictive to regular users. Addiction to alcohol is considered a disease. Those are some FACTS about the 2 things. Alcohol is perfectly fine for people who drink responsibly in moderation. The problem is, most people don't drink responsibly. Any idiot can smoke pot and handle themselves. So why exactly is marijuana illegal in the United States? Did we look at Holland and just decide that they're happier than we want to be? Better yet, why is a substance as dangerous as Alcohol perfectly acceptable? Seriously, how can you get plastered with booze and then turn around and belittle somebody because they smoke? That's hypocrisy at it's finest folks. And no, I didn't copy and paste any of that.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Old experience, what happened here? Posted: 3/20/2008 12:39:35 AM
Yea, I totally agree. I really got suckered in twice. I understand the first time, but the second time I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I mean, she lives right down the road so I guess I figured it was worth it to see what would happen. But I don't see how a girl as attractive as her with as many friends as she had would've needed to use me as a ride anywhere....just bizarre behavior.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Old experience, what happened here? Posted: 3/19/2008 9:49:14 PM
Btw, It wasn't like "still on my mind" it was just something that popped into my head randomly and I thought it'd be a fun topic. Oh, I discovered that she's not dead b/c she was on myspace a few nights ago. Still makes me wonder wtf happened.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Old experience, what happened here? Posted: 3/19/2008 9:48:16 PM
She had an epiphany, that hanging out with dope smoking guys was going to get her nowhere. She knew she was worth more than that! I just had an epiphany...that you suck. And no...she's not better than that. She's not..trust me.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

The Freeze Out... Posted: 3/12/2008 3:23:30 AM
lol dude, she doesn't want to be friends. Maybe what she meant was "I don't want you to kill me."

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Old experience, what happened here? Posted: 3/12/2008 3:12:54 AM
Sometime last year a friend of mine had introduced me to this girl that seemed pretty cool to me, and she lived literally down the street. We hung out a couple of times, but it always involved me giving her a ride somewhere. So after the first few times of me taking her somewhere (it was presented as "let's go" not "take me") and then immediately taking her back home because plans changed, I decided that I was wasting time and gas with her. Anyway a few months later she contacted me and sounded genuinely interested in just hanging out with me. She wanted to chill with me at my house, not ride around anywhere. So the plan is that we're gonna just sit at the house with some herb and watch a movie or something. We decided that we would go to the mall and grab something to eat before hanging out at the house, and I also needed to pick up something from a friends house. She asked if I could just drop her off at the mall and come back to get her so we could eat and go home, so I agreed. She made sure I had her number in my phone, and we parted ways. I came back to the mall about 30-45 minutes later and called her phone to get no answer. I went in the mall and couldn't find her (small mall, and it wasn't very crowded) so I tried to call a few more times and I think I even sent a text. I went back home and never heard from her again. It's been like 5 months now, and for all I know she could be dead. It's just so odd... So what do you think happened? Be creative!

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

I think i like one of my best friends Posted: 3/12/2008 2:52:49 AM
Understand a couple of things. 1. Her bf has no idea that you exist. If he does know that you exist, he most certainly doesn't know that you're spooning with his chick. If he does know then he doesn't really exist and you've got a deeper emotional problem to deal with. 2. I perfectly understand your situation. I've been in similar ones in the past, and it sounds like she wants you but she's got this unexplainable attachment to this guy. There was a friend of mine in highschool that had a huge crush on me but I had a girlfriend, and a few years later she had a bf but acted "tempted" to do stuff with me when I would bring it up. It usually ended with her deciding to stay with her man. She may have been willing to cheat, but I wasn't willing to let her.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Translation required: not looking for attachment? Posted: 3/12/2008 2:40:05 AM
A relationship without any attachment means that they have a perfectly good life right now, but they need someone to satisfy certain needs. Those needs could range from simply sexual, or they could include dates and whatnot. This would be ideal for somebody that doesn't want to complicate their life by being tied to somebody. In other words, it wouldn't mean that they just want to bang you...it could mean that they don't want to let you down by not being with you all the time. It doesn't mean he wants to see someone else, he probably just wants to eliminate potential arguments if he has a lot of female attention or something.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Men that get butterflies Posted: 3/12/2008 2:32:19 AM
I don't know about butterflies, but I've gotten intense marijuana like highs from being around a girl when I was a teenager. It was awesome, but scary at the same time since I wasn't ok to drive after sex lol. I haven't met a girl in a long time that could get me that excited though. I've lost the excitement of first dates because I already kind of know that it's not going to last longer than a couple of months. I don't know if I'm just entirely incompatible with everybody even though most people seem to like me, or if I'm just running into bi polar women. ...that makes my life sound sad. It's really not, I just don't get too excited for anything so I'm not let down very often, it balances out. So for a chick to give me "butterflies" she'd have to be pretty different.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

would it put you off Posted: 3/4/2008 3:32:26 AM
Absolutely not. A girl that writes poetry is at least a little creative and not brain dead like a lot of women. That's not a bad thing....it's a good thing.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

What's going on here? Posted: 1/18/2008 4:39:21 PM
Update: To the people advising me to "just ask her", I did. I mentioned that in the first post. It was as simple as "is there a reason we're not talking a lot anymore?" and her answer being "I've just been really busy. I'm sorry, I really do like and care about you." She tells me that she wants me to put up with it for the time being, but like other people have mentioned it could be a boyfriend, or her not liking me. Additional info that matters: I spent the night with her both times that I visited her. She lives on a college campus, so no live in boyfriend. The possibility of a boyfriend IS possible, but I haven't seen any evidence of it. We've also slept together, and I'm pretty sure that the things that happened wouldn't have happened if she didn't like me. I think the issue is basically over now. I'm gonna wait on her to calm her busy life down, but in the meantime I'm not going miss an opportunity over something as unstable and unsure as this is right now. She's definitely worth the wait, but I don't know her well enough to judge if I can trust her during this whole thing.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What's going on here? Posted: 1/13/2008 6:56:17 PM
Last relationship I was in had the girl coming to my house every morning to wake me up, spending the day together, going to work together, and coming back home together. She didn't leave until I went to bed at night. 3 years of that. She cheated on me in the end. So, i don't want another relationship like that. I want my free time. She apparently wants hers too. There's no way that she's picked up on anything because I've taken every chance I could to talk to her or visit her since we first began talking. You guys are trying to read in between the lines, and it's just not like that. If I had said "I want a chick that can spend every day with me" you would've said that she picked up on that...it's a lose-lose situation.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What's going on here? Posted: 1/13/2008 6:52:46 PM
Why would she freak out if she saw this? I asked her the same question and she didn't help. Besides, I don't think she checks the forums, and my profile is hidden now :). The thing is, before we met, we were talking like we would be dating. When we met, both times we acted that way. If the distance was an issue then why would she have let it go this far, knowing that there was a distance the whole time? We both agreed that distance wasn't the problem, I really don't think it is. The issue here is that I'm not getting phone calls like I was...regardless of where she lives, that's not cool. It's just confusing. We had a conversation about it through text today, and it was just bad. I just feel like if there's going to be any type of relationship, we're going to need to talk. I don't think it's fair for me to be turning down other dating opportunities when the girl barely speaks to me. I just want a little more of her attention, but when I tell her that she makes me feel like I'm asking for too much. Ugh..

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What's going on here? Posted: 1/13/2008 12:43:09 PM
Ok, the 3 hours thing is no problem for me. I prefer it that way because I don't have somebody constantly with me. I atleast expect to have some communication though. And I DID ask her what's going on, and she swears that she's just busy. I've been burned in the past by different people, so it's only natural for me to take what she says with a grain of a salt.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

What's going on here? Posted: 1/13/2008 12:16:03 PM
So I met a girl on here a couple of months ago, and we started talking on the phone every night. She lives about 3 hours from my town, but we hit it off so well that we started talking about a visit. She really wanted to see me and vice versa, so after about only 2/3 weeks of talking, I made the drive to visit her. We hit it off, and decided that we would do it again. After the visit, she didn't seem nearly as into me as she was before, but we still talked every night and things seemed to be going good. Well, the next weekend I had a reason to go back to the area, and we decided to meet up again while I was up there. We had another fun time, and I figured things were fine. Since our last visit a week ago, we've only talked on the phone maybe twice. Not long conversations at all. We both work, and we're both just started college (well she just returned, I just started). She's been going on about being busy and whatnot, but I haven't had a call from her in the past 3 days, but she'll respond to my texts. I know she's not too busy to give me a call, or to initiate a text... My question is..what the hell is happening here? Obviously my first thought is that she just doesn't like me as much after meeting me, but if that's the case then why is she even bothering with me now? And if she does like me, but she's just too busy for me, how should I handle it? I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone 3 hours away that can't even find the time to give me a call..

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

interested or not? confused... Posted: 12/29/2007 10:08:12 PM
Look, you slept with somebody that you didn't know that well...big deal. Don't let those guys make you feel like you did something wrong, sex just isn't such a big deal to some people. Here's my opinion on the thing... If you had sex with him and it HURT the relationship (as is clearly the case) then something went wrong. You need to back out now. Sex is supposed to bring you closer, if it does the opposite then it more than likely means that he regrets it for some reason. I think that he either wants you soley for sex on the side, or that he was disappointed with you for whatever reason. It IS possible to start over, I've done it before...but that requires a few months of not talking. Your best bet is to just move on and try not to make the same mistake again.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Question: Red Flag? Posted: 12/29/2007 9:50:44 PM
You guys had one 45 minute conversation and he's talking about going crazy if he doesn't hear from you the next night? Asking you to call him the next day is acceptable, but practically begging is pretty sad. I suggest that you run the other way quickly. Because either this guy has virtually no relationship experience or he's seriously that obsessed with you. Both of those are BRIGHT FCKIN RED FLAGS

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

guys and their moms Posted: 12/29/2007 9:45:56 PM
I don't treat my girlfriends anything like the females in my family. My mom and I have certain mutual understandings on things that I'll never have with anybody else I'm sure, but I definitely don't treat her like my girlfriend lmfao. Girlfriend = Girl to go on dates with, do it with, hang out with, and maybe eventually marry. Mom = Woman that would beat the ever-loving shit out of me if she knew half the shit that my lady friends know about me lol.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Are men really looking for a normal relationship? Posted: 12/29/2007 9:42:54 PM
: I know I am looking for a normal relationship. Unfortunately I am a nice guy, will probably get bashed for making that statement here, but that is who I am. If you read other forumns, it would appear that the Players are the ones who get the attention here. Not because of how they treat women and relationships. But because of the supposed aggressiveness/self confidence they exert. Many women have stated that they believe nice/good guys as being men who don't take care of themselves and lack ambition and drive. Personally I don't believe this to be true, as I take care of myself, and have ambition. Am I the GQ model type? Absolutely not, but I don't think I'm hard to look at either. When ever I go out, I always hear the comments, Damn you're a big guy. If there's a fight, I'm on your side, OK? or Dang, will you be my body guard? So I'm not a fat slob. As for ambition, I have things in the works that Ifeel will benefit me financially rewards. So if you're running into men whom you're not succeeding with, perhaps you should turn away from the players and look at the nice guys. I'm guessing your attempting to meet the more attractive model/ white collar looking guy. Of course I could be wrong here, but yes there are plenty of men out there that are looking for a real and normal relationship. Being a player and exerting self confidence over an Internet message board are two TOTALLY different things. There's a guy on this board that I post at that is probably the most aggressive, confident, funny person I've ever seen on the Internet, and he stated not too long ago that he won't even kiss a girl on a first date. That's not uncommon, not even for the real world. You don't have to be a player to be confident in yourself. Perhaps THAT is why you're not getting the dates you're looking for? Because you lack confidence...

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Are men really looking for a normal relationship? Posted: 12/29/2007 9:39:12 PM
For the most part, I've realized that the people on this site are basically "normal people". Some of the girls I've encountered on POF are pretty much as bad as the girls I've met around here...they just use the Internet more. I'm definitely not saying that everybody here is like that, hell I just met a great girl on this site, but you have to understand that ANY type of dating is going to result in people playing games and such. I came on this site looking for a "normal relationship", and I think it may have worked. I got a lot of messages/responses in the year that I've been here, but a lot of them were extremely shady, even after talking on the phone. Best advice I can give is to just not take anybody seriously until you're convinced. Even ONE red flag in the beginning stages of a relationship is enough to call it quits I think.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Awesome.. Posted: 12/29/2007 9:21:25 PM
I met a great girl because of this site, and I'm going to be hiding my profile. I'll still come by and check out the forums every now and then though. If you haven't had much luck, don't get discouraged. I had an account here for almost a year before I got the right results, but I'm so glad that I was patient enough to wait rather than rush into something that wouldn't work. Thanks POF, you pwn.

Joined: 4/6/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

What can I do to make my Bio better ? Posted: 12/18/2007 10:42:02 PM
You have too many restrictions. When you start restricting people that are looking for "hang out" and "friends" you're also restricting people that just put that on their profile but really want a date. I know some guys because they think it attracts more women (not sure if that's true). Also, why do you prefer not to say if you're a smoker or not? How complicated is it? You either smoke often, occasionally, or never. I would be a little turned off by a woman who's a closet smoker. It totally comes off as your way of being able to tell a guy you don't smoke even though you do... Also, I would remove the picture with the man. I know most guys say that stuff like that doesn't bother them, but it intimidates enough of us to lower the number of guys that you meet.

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