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 Author Thread: cancelling last minute
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
cancelling last minute
Posted: 9/13/2012 11:14:33 AM
I agree with the general consensus that it is rude. I’m no-nonsense; muck me about once, I won’t give the opportunity for it to be done a second time. However that said, it would depend very strongly on the reason. There is a vast difference between deliberately messing someone about and having to cancel for reasons which are unavoidable, and I have had to do it myself on one occasion.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Are you put off by a Disability
Posted: 9/13/2012 11:14:10 AM
There is no ‘one size fits all’ answer really.

In my own opinion, what really matters when considering whether I want to date/embark on a relationship with someone is that we get along, they have a personality and an attitude that is endearing to me and we are physically attracted to one another. Whether they are disabled or able bodied doesn’t come into it. Connecting with someone on my own wavelength does.

I don’t think though that we can pretend that there aren’t people who would not consider dating anyone with a disability, regardless of the nature of it. There are people who hold that opinion. A small minded opinion, but theirs nonetheless.

Personally for me, there can be far worse things about people than limitations on physical abilities to consider. I’ll date someone if I like them, find them physically attractive and want to get to know them better. I’d fall in love with a person if they possess inner characteristics which I find attractive. Nothing else comes into the equation.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dates - who pays and what it means?
Posted: 9/10/2012 10:14:16 AM
I often don't dignify the stupidity of your posts with a response Sausagenchips, but this time I'm going to, because you need some advice: Go back to school. Seriously. You need to study to become a half wit.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Dates - who pays and what it means?
Posted: 9/10/2012 7:41:06 AM
I've always gone Dutch on dates.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
for family and my father
Posted: 9/9/2012 10:00:26 AM
Some will run a mile. Some won't. I dated a man whose mother lived with him. It was his house but that didn't make much of a difference really, as he'd never lived without her. His living arrangements did not put me off, as a matter of fact I was endeared by the fact that he wanted to take care of his mother. What did put me off was his mothers insane need to control every aspect of our relationship because instead of seeing it for what it was, she considered our relationship a threat to theirs (or rather more appropriately, to her meal ticket). She came out with some pretty crazy stuff and was very creative in her manipulation skills to the point that I couldn't stand it any more and that was that.

The experience wouldn't put me off dating another man who still lived with his parents but for some people it is a big turn off - I had countless comments at the time, usually people thought he might be irresponsible, unable to do anything for himself, reliant on his mother (although nothing could be further from the truth) so these may be assumptions that people may come to which could be a problem for you finding someone.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Saying no vs Hurting feelings
Posted: 9/9/2012 9:21:40 AM

it's something I've really struggled with, believing their feelings and reactions are my responsibility.


Is it fvck your responsibility. We're all adults and all in charge of our own feelings. Can't be doing with guilt trippers. Take it as a positive though - if they are that way, it's better you find out early on and can cease contact at the earliest opportunity. Just block them if they keep pestering you.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Saying no vs Hurting feelings
Posted: 9/9/2012 6:06:51 AM
I think you're doing it right, OP. I'd rather someone told me early on that they didn't see me 'that way' than to say nothing and continue to build something on little foundation, only to tell me later that they never felt even the slightest bit of attraction from the start. That is worse to me because I've invested time in a person in a false belief that their intentions were the same as mine. Of course something can begin and then turn out to be a waste of both parties time; that's different, no false impression was given and no ulterior motive was at play. But I think when you are going into something and the intentions are not the same as the other party, the least one can do is be honest about it.

There are a few people who I've been in contact with who I am not attracted to but who I get on with. I was upfront with them from the beginning that I wasn't attracted to them but we had similar interests and have maintained contact on a platonic level - though one did take offence and hasn't spoken to me since. Fair dos, his choice but my conscience is clear as I didn't lead him into a false belief that there was going to be anything other than friendship on offer.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is selection criterai the real problem?
Posted: 9/8/2012 3:47:52 PM
@ msg19 - Totally. I've also had men directly ask "Am I ugly?". I mean how the fvck do they expect me to respond to that? Nine times out of ten, it's not their picture that's called it for me; it's something they have (freely) written within their profile. It's obviously never occurred to them that self pitying whining is not an attracive quality and isn't going to endear them to people.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is selection criterai the real problem?
Posted: 9/8/2012 10:15:54 AM

Amy Sing: so you don’t delete any messages unread then?


Not usually, but if I've read the profile before and found something that I know I wouldn't be able to get past, then yes I delete unread because ultimately it doesn't matter what the message says when there is such a significant obstacle. Doesn't necessarily mean there is anything 'wrong' with that person, just that we are cut from different cloth.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is selection criterai the real problem?
Posted: 9/6/2012 11:44:48 AM

guys on side complaining about lack of mail repsonses and/or profile views, and the ladies on the other bleating about how the site is full of liars / cheats / players etc. It seems to me that the obvious answer to both issues is that women are mostly responding to aforementioned liars.


Some members (women as well as men) are players, some are liars some are cheats and sometimes this is glaringly obvious from their profile or their initial message but then again, sometimes it's not.


So ladies, do you have a set of 'ideals' that you use when responding or not, and if so have you ever changed then to try and weed out the bad apples?


I can only speak for myself. When I receive a message, I consider both the message and the profile content. I'm a type of person who knows what she likes, so I'll either like it or I won't. I won't respond if it appears from their message that they haven't read or haven't understood my profile . I won't respond if their first message is lacking in any reasonable attempt at a proper introduction/initiation of a conversation, is sexual, or is plain off the wall. I won't respond if I read their profile and immediately realise that there is something about them that I don't think I'd be able to get past. If they continue to message me and cause annoyance, I might respond, if only to tell them to sod off or I'll block them.

I used to respond to every message, even if it was to say 'thanks but no thanks' politely. Unfortunately I've found that with some people, they take any response to mean that I'm open to getting to know more, even where I'm clear that this is not the case. This became so frequent that I simply stopped sending replies if I wasn't interested because you cannot always tell who is going to do that.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Help me get rid of people appearing at the top of my inbox for chat
Posted: 9/5/2012 11:36:38 AM
Thank you, will check that now.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Help me get rid of people appearing at the top of my inbox for chat
Posted: 9/4/2012 2:19:50 PM
Thank you very much. I didn't realise I could still initiate chat myself if I disabled it. That's great, thanks again.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Help me get rid of people appearing at the top of my inbox for chat
Posted: 9/4/2012 1:01:14 PM
At the top of my inbox, it lists users that have messaged me and offers me the option of 'chat' with them - even users I have blocked.

Is there a way to stop these users from appearing at the top of my inbox without disabling chat?
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 124 (view)
 
Bad spelling
Posted: 9/4/2012 12:01:51 PM
I can handle the odd spelling or grammatical error but admittedly, it is a huge irritant to me.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
she wants to be friends not serious because just divorced
Posted: 9/3/2012 11:26:30 AM
There are four possibilities:

1. This is her way of letting you down gently with an excuse because she's decided that you are not for her.

2. She genuinely means she only wants friendship and is on POF looking for friends

3. She wants to put it about a bit and is on POF looking for her next lay

4. There is more you haven't told us such as you have done things for her and you've served your purpose so she's on POF looking for her next victim. Harsh as it sounds, there are plenty of people like that who will toy with your emotions to get what they want.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
dating someone older or younger
Posted: 9/3/2012 11:17:52 AM
My last man was 15 years older than me. I dated him because I liked him, sod all to do with anything else. I used to have a rule about never dating a man younger than me because I felt they were immature but that was several years ago and the rule has been dropped! That said I'm 31and I wouldn't date a 21 year old. I might however date a 31 year old when I'm 41.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
just a general suggestion
Posted: 9/3/2012 11:05:41 AM
I wish more people would use that function, it irritates me to find I have yet more carbon copied messages from users who I have expressed no interest in at an earlier date. As I haven't changed my profile any, I can only assume they are randomly messaging people with no clear interest in the person whatsoever.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Relationship Problem
Posted: 9/2/2012 2:13:57 PM
I agree with the previous poster, CBT therapy is very good for phobias and is known for its success rate for phobias and OCD sufferers.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Problem with logging in to the main site
Posted: 9/2/2012 2:06:28 PM
Msg 9: wasn't he having the same sign in problems as the rest of the entire database then?

No, he'd been on a few times.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Problem with logging in to the main site
Posted: 9/2/2012 2:03:17 PM
Thanks Markus, appreciate you posting.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Problem with logging in to the main site
Posted: 9/2/2012 1:25:02 PM
Thanks folks. Am back on and back to my conversation. He was beginning to wonder why I had suddenly stopped responding so it's all good now!!
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Problem with logging in to the main site
Posted: 9/2/2012 9:10:35 AM
It's strange. I saw a message this morning so I clicked on it to read it and all I got was:

"!!!!Sorry, an error occured while processing your request. We have taken a note of this error and will do our best to resolve it!!!"

But now I get the 'service unavailable' message, so goodness knows what is going on.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Problem with logging in to the main site
Posted: 9/2/2012 9:06:30 AM
Good afternoon everyone. Can anyone tell me if there is a known problem with log in on the main site at the moment?

I can get onto the forums and log in no problem, but I can't sign in on the main site. When I enter my username and password, the page takes a little while to load and then simply says "The service is unavailable". I've been exchanging messages with someone and really wouldn't want him to get the wrong end of the stick and think I've suddenly decided to ignore him, so it would be a great help if there is anything I can do my end to fix it.

Thank you.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
when is the best time to give up?
Posted: 9/1/2012 12:34:04 PM
Maybe she hasn't been online.

Maybe she's been chatting to someone else and it's going well so she doesn't want to engage in messaging others whilst she sees where this goes.

Maybe she's had a look at your profile and has established from that, that you are not someone that she wants to get to know more.

Irrespective of her reasons which none of us know, what I wouldn't suggest you do, is message her again. If she is interested then she will read and respond. People don't ignore messages from people they are interested in. People ignore messages from people that they are not interested in.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 51 (view)
 
My son/daughter will always come first.
Posted: 5/20/2012 12:27:37 PM
I can see why some people might mention it. I was involved in a (very short lived) relationship where the man expected me to be able to just go over to see him at the drop of a hat. He knew perfectly well that I had children but according to him it was 'no excuse'. He refused to accept that I wasn't prepared to take my children out of bed and over to a perfect stranger's house (which is what he was to them), so that we could spend time together, nor could he understand the concept of trying to arrange a sitter and that it wasn't always possible. The one thing that really p1ssed him off was when we were on a date and the childminder rang me to say the youngest was vomiting and running a temperature, and I explained that I had to cut our date short. He couldn't get his head around why I couldn't just leave the chiildminder to deal with it, again my explanation was 'no excuse'. I finished it very soon after that, there was just no point as it was always going to be a sticking point for us.

Sometimes when parents experience this level of resistance in a former relationship, they feel that they have to make it abundantly clear to potential future partners that being a parent means that they are not as 'available' as a person without children. The vast majority of people would appreciate that a child comes first but some don't have a clue. Some think they understand the dynamics but when reality comes and their date has to reschedule, or has to leave to see to their child, they realise that they can't handle it.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do we hurt ourselves more than we need to?
Posted: 5/19/2012 2:50:11 AM

When I go to bed at night I switch you all off and may even indulge in a 'hand shandy'


[...]



but you are all far from my thoughts as I do said act


Thank fvck for that! Small mercies.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Do we hurt ourselves more than we need to?
Posted: 5/19/2012 2:48:21 AM
I was incredibly oversensitive when I was younger. I think it was probably because when I was in school, I was quiet and an easy target for bullies, I was bullied terribly, and as I approached adulthood I just wanted to fit in so I was eager to please people which often meant being taken advantage of. Tiny things said by people who I now realise were insignificant to my life would really hurt me, and if a boss constructively criticised my work, instead of seeing it for what it was, I'd take it personally - I'd often go to the loo to have a cry.

In relation to can we change? Well yes, in my experience - I did. It just hit me one day. The realisation set in that if I kept going the way I had been, I'd be as well wrapping myself around a cardboard cylinder in the lav, because that's all people were doing to me - wiping their arses with me, and worse, I allowed it to happen. I was 24 when that occured to me, and I remember what caused it. I had split up from the father of my children and was doing a supermarket shop. When I got to the checkout, I realised that half the stuff in the trolley were things I didn't even like, things I'd never liked but I'd always bought them because he liked them. It got me thinking about other things I'd done to help him at my own disadvantage, things I'd put on hold so that he could do what he wanted to. It was a simple thing but it cchanged everything for me. I became a totally different person. I started speaking up in meetings at work about things I felt strongly about, I started standing up for myself when people criticised a line of thought, backed up with facts, and I stopped trying to adapt my likes and dislikes to suit other people in relationships and friendships, in addition to stopping doing things to please them if it didn't suit me.

I'm very glad I changed. I didn't change into a b1tch, I just started being me. And you know what? I quite like me, even if other people don't always take to me. I'm fine with that. I don't like everyone so why should everyone like me?, and why should I care if they don't? I'm far happier now than I ever was before. Nobody likes to be disliked, but it doesn't eat away at me now like it used to, I just think so fvck if they don't like me, it's not going to have a major impact on my life. I feel for others on the forums when they read too much into a date that doesn't call back, because I used to do that, I'd wonder what was wrong with me, I had almost a desperate need to be liked, and most of the time it was just a game - 'treat em mean to keep em keen'. I'd too old for games, fvck that. It doesn't bother me now, I have the attitude that I made it this far in life without knowing the person, and I'll continue to manage supposing I never set eyes on him again.

A person should never go through life being unhappy because of the actions/opinions of others, that just makes for a miserable existance.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
10 Years Younger
Posted: 5/15/2012 1:35:23 PM
I'm not particularly vain but nor do I want to look like a horror show and let's face it, not everyone ages well.

Would I have it done? No. But not because I wouldn't want to - because I'd be too scared to. The pictures of surgery going wrong, or surgery overload are enough to put me off. I'd rather look like a natural horror than a surgically created one.

Two words: Jackie Stallone.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Tooth whitening
Posted: 5/14/2012 1:31:01 PM

Of course, your dentist will probably tell you it's highly dangerous and recommend another option which, surprise, s/he will do for you ( for several hundred pounds....) lol...


Okay fine - don't ask a dentist if you think that they are only going to give you advice that is going to benefit their pocket. Instead, take a pH strip and dip it into lemon juice then compare the result to the acid indicators - then consider that It's a widely accepted fact that acid damages enamel. Then think about whether you want to take that risk with your teeth.

I'm not a dentist and have nothing to gain from discouraging people from using lemon juice but I'd sooner pay several hundred pounds for teeth whitening from a dentist now, than pay upwards of several thousand years down the line for dental implants, which I also imagine would be a rather painful process.



Just mushed up together on the toothbrush?


Yes - or you can buy toothpaste that contains bicarb. You don't want to put it straight on your teeth - it tastes disgusting! (Yes I've tried it!)
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Tooth whitening
Posted: 5/14/2012 1:07:44 PM
I wouldn't recommend it, Belviso. Lemons by their very nature are acidic. The ph levels of the acids in a lemon is very high - which is why it is a natural cleaning agent - and it can do more harm than good to your teeth. It will whiten them but only in the short term and it's the way that they whiten them that you should worry about. Using lemon juice on your teeth is asking for trouble, it will break down the enamel and encourage decay. You probably won't notice until the bottom of the teeth take on a browney tinge - this is acid erosion.

I would strongly recommend that you ask your dentist about using lemon to whiten your teeth before you consider doing it.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What's with all the crazy messages?
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:05:30 AM
It's a 'lost grip with reality' weird. It's really difficult to put across without posting the messages but the forum rules do not allow that, so I can't post them up without risking a ban.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What's with all the crazy messages?
Posted: 5/14/2012 8:19:53 AM
Has anyone else been getting really weird messages lately? A bit difficult to define what I mean by 'weird', without posting the content, can't do that without getting myself banned. It's just completely fantasical off the wall things that make little or no sense.

I did message the first one back as his profile seemed relatively normal so I put the message down to a poor attempt at humour. However after a brief exchange of messages, it became clear that he was just strange, full stop so I stopped communicating with him. Now, over the last week, I seem to have an array of these weird messages appearing in my inbox from different people.

It's not the same guy coming back as the profiles are all different with different photos of different people. It's like a bunch of eejits have simutaneously taken LSD and decided to message me!
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Friends to the end.................or until they drive you round the bend?
Posted: 5/12/2012 11:25:24 AM
I'll be honest. Though I have a circle of friends, I've only got two very close friends who I know would always be there for me through thick and thin and who I would do the same for. The rest are mates, I'll meet them for lunch and have a laugh with them and a news, but I wouldn't count on them for anything.

I've had it the other way too though where a friend smothered me so much that I had to put distance between us and she's no longer a friend. It was just a normal friendship to begin with but then her friendship became overpowering. She would do things or arrange things 'for me' thinking that she was helping me when in fact, it was just bloody frustrating, sometimes to the point of overstepping personal boudaries. Trying to talk to her about it was a waste of time, she'd just become really offended.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
The Click
Posted: 5/12/2012 11:10:00 AM
I tend to view this pretty much the same way I would any other environment where a group of people from all walks of life come together. There are people on here who I like, there are also people on here who I couldn't give a toss about. I'm sure that it works both ways in that there will be people here who have taken to me and people who can't stand me. I don't lose any sleep over it, why would I care about someone who I've just 'met' ignoring me? I've managed through life without their approval so far, so it won't make much difference to me now.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Did you know what you wanted to do when you left school?
Posted: 5/10/2012 11:08:39 AM
I wanted to be a Doctor. But I also wanted to leave school as soon as possible so as soon as I was able to, I did. I had the dream but not the drive back then, like many youngsters do. Now I'm older, I'm studying again, I have the dedication for it that I didn't have at that age. He'll do it when and if he's ready.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Degrees or not
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:28:16 PM
Don't care, as long as they can read and write. I only started my degree a couple years ago and it's more for personal interest than anything else. There are plenty of people who haven't had any advanced education but have gone on to do amazing things in life. These days, a University education means very little in terms of the ability to suceed. Besides, having heard some of the things that people with advanced qualifications come out with, I think it's safe to say that knowlege does not necessarily equate to intelligence. I dated a guy once who had a Masters degree but he did not have an ounce of common sense. Or decency, come to that. Qualifications mean very little to me.

But, to some people, they are everything and I think that is probably why some people stretch the truth about their academic acheivements - to broaden the circle of those who are likely to be interested. Frankly I couldn't be arsed to inflate my profile with crap just to gain interest. If someone ranks academic acheivements of higher importance than the type of person I am, I don't really want to know them anyway - unless they are a potential employer headhunting me!
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
What are you good at?
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:13:20 PM
I'm good at swearing when assembling flat packs, or attempting any other DIY task. It's a hereditry condition that my father passed on to me.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Lottery winnings
Posted: 5/5/2012 4:55:49 AM
I wouldn't give anyone any money, it often ends up in the wrong hands or spent on something it wasn't intended for. I would however invest it to help with things that I believe in. I would open an animal sanctuary, there are too many neglected/abandoned/abused animals and not enough centres to help.

I've always wanted to set up a trust for children who are victims of their parents chaotic lifestyles. So many children go through varying foster homes and childrens homes without being given an opporunity of stability and when it comes to transitiioning to adulthood, they haven't a clue how the real world works - Social Work departments often don't have the resource to meet the demand. The trust would involve skills training for children who are moving out of the care system and into independant adulthood and could include anything from teaching them life skills such as how to budget, basic DIY, cookery etc, and there would also be skills for work - work placements, education programmes to enable those who missed out on school to work toward standard grades/highers which in turn could be what they need to secure work (experience) or a college/university place (basic education). Catch them when they are young and give them skills that can set them up for life. I don't yet have an idea of how the criteria would be assessed though!

I would like to remain anon though which would be difficult.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 43 (view)
 
are you ashamed of using the internet for something that should come naturally?
Posted: 5/5/2012 4:23:05 AM
ibakecakes - some very good points there!
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
are you ashamed of using the internet for something that should come naturally?
Posted: 5/5/2012 3:37:31 AM
A little perspective. I use it because I don't want the possibility of meeting with someone in a bar. I know what I like and I know what I want. Why waste my time doing something I hate (being in a bar full of drunken idiots) on the off chance that I might meet someone? And if I do, I can spend weeks getting to know a bit about them the traditional way only to find out that it's been a waste of time because they are nothing like what I'm after or I'm nothing like what they are after. On here, I click a profile. If I think we'll get along from what he's written, I'll send a message. If I don't, I click onward to the next one. In a bar, I wouldn't have that option. I'd have to spend some time speaking to him to find out the basics about him, rather than 5 minutes casting my eye over a profile. If you meet someone from online, you'll often find that you will do what comes naturally anyway once you meet them in person. You can't 'make' yourself fall in love with someone, you can't even 'make' yourself fancy someone. There is a bloke I saw in the forums a month or so ago (who I won't name, not sure if he's still around) - he's very handsome and yes I looked at his picture and I thought 'oh, yes please'. That's what you do in a bar - you look for someone who catches your eye, who you are physically attracted to. Anyway, I went to read this forum bloke's profile, andI instantly changed my mind. There is nothing wrong with him, just from what he had written on his profile, I instantly knew we weren't suited. A few minutes. You don't get that meeting someone the traditional way, you have to invest far more of your time before you discover that it's been wasted. It makes sense to do it this way. Being sensible and going after what you want, isn't something to be ashamed about.

It's also great for making new friends. A couple of people (male and female) from the forums and I have messaged each other based on what's been written by each of us, it brings likeminded people together.

I think that the older we get, the more we know what it is that we want in a partner/relationship and the more likely we are to use dating sites, ads or agencies - because it's quicker and more convenient.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
If you're hairy and you know it, raise your arm......
Posted: 5/4/2012 2:43:07 PM
The only part of me that sees wax is my eyebrows. I don't like having hairy pits or legs, I can shave there or use creams. My arms are quite hairy but I'm that blonde there that it isn't really noticible so I leave well alone. I'm not removing my hair 'down there' for anything.

I've tried shaving there - ouchy. Tried creams there - burny. Latterly tried waxing. Waxing resulted in my shouting more sweary words than I did whilst in labour. It bloody hurts!! I've never wanted to slap someone quite so much as when the therapist tried, unsucessfully, I might add, to stifle a laugh when I yelled at her "For fvck sake be CAREFUL!" They must hear some things in that job.

No shaven haven and no waxed wonder. Just a trimmed treat. Take it or leave it.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Squatters Rights or wrongs?
Posted: 5/4/2012 12:14:02 PM

there's no law that says i can't burn my own house down.


There is actually, but it depends on the circumstances.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Squatters Rights or wrongs?
Posted: 5/4/2012 10:24:01 AM
@ gavinux.

Sqautting in and of itself does not necessarily mean that they have 'broken the law'. If it were that simple, then the police would be in a position to arrest them. Simply being in a property without the owners permission is not a criminal offence. In respect of criminal law breaking, squatters only break the law if they commit a crime whilst in the property (criminal damage for example). Contrary to popular belief, there is only criminal trespass (and therefore a criminal offence) if the owner is a displaced residential occupier or a protected intending occupier and squatters refuse to leave when requested to do so by such a person. If none of these apply, no laws have been broken and therin lies the problem.

That's not to say I agree with it. Just because something's not a criminal act, it doesn't make it morally right.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
When family hurt you
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:52:36 AM
Yes. I haven't spoken to one of my siblings for approximately 10 years and feel much better for not having him in my life. The only trouble is that the remainer of my family are on speaking terms with him (for the moment anyway) so I see him at family functions. The rest of the family often tell me life is too short and I'd bitterly regret it if he died and I didn't have a chance to bury the hatchet with him. No, I wouldn't regret it, not a smidgen. I wouldn't even go to the funeral, why pay respect to someone I have no respect for? I might go to the cemetary afterward but only so I could dance on his grave. He's an extremely selfish excuse for a human being who only bothers with his family if there is something in it for him to gain, and he doesn't care who he has to shift out of the way to get what he wants.

His girlfriend doesn't realise it, but she's only in the picture because it is believed that she has received a rather large inheritance. He's just weedling his way in there until he has gained sufficient trust from her to hand over large wads of cash to him, then he'll disappear - I absolutely guarantee it. I would absolutley piss myself laughing if the inheritance turned out to be worthless. In fact, I'd sell my soul to the devil himself just to see the look on his face. He has turned our lives upside down once too often. The rest of my family continue to forgive him. I stopped forgiving him a long time ago when he upset my Dad - the only other family member who doesn't speak to him. They all seem to think they are admirable for forgiving him time and again. I say they are either stupid or just gluttons for punishment. For me is a limit on my shite-o-meter of how much is enough.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
In contact with an ex - And? Where's the problem?
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:27:27 AM
I'm really pleased to see that the majority of people who have responded don't see an issue with it. There is no way in hell I would suddenly stop speaking to exes I've remained in contact with for years simply because someone who has been in my life for 5 minutes doesn't like it. The last person I was in a relationship with is the ex I have the most contact with. He maintains contact with me and my children; the youngest has known him since she was a baby and looks on him like an uncle. He's the emergency contact at the school if I can't be reached. We go for coffee occasionally and are good friends but we both have our own lives too. We stopped loving each other but it doesn't mean we stopped liking each other. I just don't see what the problem is, we're all grown ups.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
In contact with an ex - And? Where's the problem?
Posted: 5/3/2012 2:39:30 PM
I was responding to someone about a particular issue he raised about his ex partner, and explained that I found it difficult to know what to say to him being that only one of my relationships ended horribly, and that I'm still on good terms and in touch with all but that one of my exes - the ones I had LTR's with. The bloke I was speaking to said that I should keep that to myself. When I enquired why I would do that, he informed me that it would put potential dates off because they will be insecure if they know I'm in touch with former partners who I once enjoyed intamacy with, so it was best not to tell them.

Seriously?!

Teenages having insecurities I understand, but at our age and older (in our 30's) surely we're more accepting of it? At our age, any potential future partner is likely to have a history of former intimate partners and that in some circumstances a former partner will be involved in some form, because there are children to co-parent for example. I don't live in the pockets of my exes. One is married with children, we're in email contact but haven't seen each other in 7 or 8 years. One has been ill for a number of years and I visit when I can. One works in the same area as me and we occasionally go for a coffee.

I don't have a problem with a partner being in contact with an ex. One of my former partners was a divorcee with a child, I didn't question that he needed to maintain some sort of relationship with his ex-wife. It went without saying, wasn't a problem to me. His other ex was a good friend of his and they both loved football. I bloody hate it so I'd ask her if she wanted to go with him to matches and supporters meets, as it just bored me rigid.

I see nothing wrong with this, if a relationship ended amicably why should we suddenly cut off all contact? Frankly I wouldn't want to be with someone who is so insecure and mistrusting. Nor would I 'keep it to myself'. I won't tolerate dishonesty in a relationship, so wouldn't want to start off that way.

So, there's my thoughts on the matter - what's yours?
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
rape..
Posted: 5/3/2012 1:46:44 PM

This is true but I was not just talking about date rape or marriage rape...I was talking about strangers entering you home through a window or a being able to unlock your door while you are sleeping. If you look at the statistics you would know that this happens everynight to women all over the world. The thought never entered their mind becuase they were in the safety and security of their own home.


Yes - look at what Peter Cook did.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 26 (view)
 
rape..
Posted: 5/3/2012 10:59:29 AM
It's not something I think about whilst going about my daily business, even though it perhaps ought to be. I fought off an attacker many years ago when I was in my early twenties. Though I had no idea why he had set upon me, I had assumed the motive was robbery. A year later it became clear - the same bloke was charged with rape of one woman and attempted rape of another. Only then did it occur to me that his intention may have been rape rather than robbery. But it's not something I worry about as I go about my daily business. Sure I consider the possibility of being a victim of any crime in that I take reasonable measures not to become one such as being sure not to leave a drink unattended, and I am careful when using the bank machine to withdraw money, and lock my door at night. But it doesn't dictate my life an I don't think that any woman would allow the thought to dictate their lives unless they have been affected by it. Why would anyone want a life looking over their shoulder because of something that may happen with no real and immediate threat?
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 48 (view)
 
spiders..
Posted: 5/2/2012 7:09:29 AM
I won't kill them because I can't get close enough to them to do it, but I will ask someone else to get rid of it by any means necessary, if that means swift death to it, I don't have a problem with that. I'll be a heartless, brainless twat who is hated any day of the week over having one of those creatures within sight of me. If it's dead, it's one less in the world to worry about. The terror I experience when one is near me is impossible to put into words. The worst thing is, is having no idea where this fear originates from or how to stop it.
 Amy_Sing
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Exercise, dieting and all that kind of stuff...
Posted: 5/1/2012 1:31:28 PM
I've never been on a diet or seen the inside of a gym in my life. The closest I've come was partaking in P.E at school and when I learned how to defend myself. I'm often surprised by the amount of people who have it in their profiles that they go to gym x amount of times a week. I often wonder how much of it is true and how much is wild exaggeration.
 
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