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Thread: A partner takes on a male freind

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 8 (view)

A partner takes on a male freind Posted: 4/23/2012 8:38:14 PM
He is 78, I doubt there is anything going on there other than friendship.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 79 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/16/2012 9:00:31 AM
Thank you, message 66 for pulling back this debate in to the realm of an actual debate. [Those experiments weren't correctly set up and run, to test for this behavior. If you want to test for "guys going after what they know they can't have, versus guys who don't," you have to do it by turning half of your test subjects away firmly from the start, ignoring them completely, and then behave in an accepting manner to the other half. If the ones who feel accepted tend to lose interest every time, and the ones you ignore tend to try over and over to get your interest, then you MIGHT have the beginnings of a proof that this phenomenon exists in a significant amount.] Yes, they were not really 'scientific' experiments as such . You make a good point here but what about controlling for individual unobservable differences?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 440 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/15/2012 3:39:19 PM
Feminists shouldn't, (and mostly don't) jump men all into one category and blame them for everything, but equally men shouldn't lump feminists all into one category and blame them for everything either.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 65 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/15/2012 3:33:35 PM
I am really quite sick of seeing judgemental posts on here. I am very comfortable with my level of morality. If I chose to question the nature of attraction through my own experiences then that hardly makes me a 'bad' person. Furthermore, who are you to tell me that is not philosophical? That is a matter of philosophical debate in itself. I have not distanced myself from my post whatsoever and nor do I make moral judgements on people that I do not know on forums. What I would question if I were you is why you feel the need to do so.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 62 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/15/2012 8:51:43 AM
"When you are replying to a poster you may use the poster's profile name. That is how others involved in the thread know to whom the OP is referring. She used quotes as well..." This is the only reason why I have used your username. I don't understand why you want me to remove the username? It's simply so that I could answer your post. The thread wouldn't make much sense if I removed it and I haven't been rude to you in any way.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 2 (view)

girl needs space Posted: 4/15/2012 12:22:35 AM
Yes, if you don't try, you will never know.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 55 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/15/2012 12:10:52 AM
3ffervescent, 1) "think the 'philosophy' that everyone wants something they can't have is flawed, as it is a sweeping generalisation. Not EVERYONE wants what they can't have -- I am not the only poster in this topic to have expressed this sentiment. " it was a question for debate... not a statement. 2) "Perhaps, it is because I didn't grow up in the "all about me" generation." If this isn't a sweeping generalisation, I really don't know what is. 3) "this isn't just about you (they were sent by people who were genuinely reaching out to you in an attempt to form a relationship of one kind or another)." I try to answer as many messages as I can and to be polite and courteous. The only experimentation I have done is what I had already stated, whereby I made a real upfront effort and had very little interest expressed back. So, if anything they were the ones being unethical, (according to your theory, though I took no offence.) Secondly, I don't deliberately ignore people, when I am no longer interested I make this quite clear in the nicest possible way and in some cases even offer to be friends, but they pursue it further. Therefore, I don't really understand your point... what do you want me to do, date everyone who messages me for fear of hurting their feelings by stating that I am not interested? That would be cruel. You are not making any sense and to me it sounds like you just want to argue for the sake of it.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 49 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 8:29:17 PM
AJ2517 and 3ffervescent whilst your comments are welcome, I would like to remind you that this is a philosophical debate, not a morality debate or a quest for 'help' upon the 'right' path.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 406 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/14/2012 4:52:32 PM
lol that's hilarious. If that's the case then the 400 odd men that have messaged me must have some pretty funky taste. The difference is, I can wear as much or as little make up as I like, there's not a lot you can do about your face without the help of surgery, .... just sayin. Oh and FYI it's not men in general, it's just you.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 30 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 4:02:18 PM
3ffervescent, when I say acting interested I didn't mean declaring my undying love and duping them into thinking something that wasn't true, I just mean making a real effort to speak to them and message them; to which, (as I have already stated) they generally backed off so there really was no emotional harm done at all. Furthermore, I knew from previous (non experimental) experience that this was likely to be the case so I don't see that ethics are really an issue here.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 403 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/14/2012 3:55:08 PM
Thank you lady c4, I didn't actually see the Maybelline part. Funny isn't it, if I looked one way I would be called a 'man hating lesbian feminist' but because I look the opposite apparently my only political views are on make up. You couldn't make it up.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 401 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/14/2012 3:31:23 PM
1ukn4u "First of all your UK. This is more geared towards Americans than anything." I really don't see why that is of importance at all... the thread was about feminism not views of Americans only about feminism. Is that really the best you can come up with??

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 399 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/14/2012 1:58:48 PM
well said lady c4!!

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 20 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 1:37:21 PM
wakcimer, no.. the guys with whom you seem very interested with straight away often don't regain interest, and I have tried this experimentally with guys I am not that interested in. I think trailsman5 has hit the nail on the head to be honest.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 397 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/14/2012 12:32:28 PM
1ukn4u "Have you ladies ever experienced a beheading? :)" One word... creepy. Nuff said.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 17 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 12:18:02 PM
daynadaze, I don't think you have actually read my post and if so, not very thoroughly. I didn't state that I was attracted to 'jerks' or 'bad boys', or that I am 'down on men', I was merely asking a philisophical question about the nature of attraction. I think even stating that 'professional help' might be needed is rude, unnecessary and somewhat pompous of you.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Take a look Posted: 4/14/2012 9:46:44 AM
I meant more to do with your body language and surroundings in the pics than anything else.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 29 (view)

What is wrong with knowing what you want and having the confidence to ask for it??? Posted: 4/14/2012 9:45:18 AM
What they mean is they don't want to have sex right away, but rather after they have gotten to know you. They want to get to know you first and establish respect first, but they also want you to be sexy so that when and if you get down to it they fancy the pants off you. Simples.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 8 (view)

Take a look Posted: 4/14/2012 9:35:11 AM
I don't understand, why is that?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

Take a look Posted: 4/14/2012 9:24:54 AM
http://tinypic.com/r/28gxnk0/5 I didn't mean that as an insult, was just being honest. The one I have pasted above is miles better, the second one is too like the first, aim for variety.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 7 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 9:13:16 AM
"I have experimented by seeming quite keen early on and they never seem quite as interested as when I am not as bothered/keen. Perhaps because they miss your expressed interest and are suddenly trying to get the same old level of attention back again." No, I mean with guys that I have only just begun talking to, so your theory doesn't work. It could be a coincidence, but I don't think so.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 9:02:59 AM
kelza_24 that hasn't been my experience so far, I don't think all men are on here for one thing at all. I'm sorry that you haven't been having very good luck so far but there are plenty more fish in the sea, (if you can excuse the pun :). As for the last post, I can appreciate what you are saying but I have had over 300 messages from people on here and it is definately a reoccuring pattern- I'm just trying to work out why this is the case as it seems counter intuiative.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

Smart, Confident, and All Alone Posted: 4/14/2012 8:58:12 AM
Hey- you are only 18 years old, what are you stressing about? You shouldn't be obsessing about finding your life partner at such an age, you have your whole life ahead of you for that. Also, it's counter productive.. if men sense your neediness it will make them run a mile in the other direction. Go out, have fun, live life, men will naturally follow.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 3 (view)

Take a look Posted: 4/14/2012 8:48:51 AM
Agreed, the pics are not right at all, they make you look juvenile... which I'm sure you are not given that you are 25 and studying medicine.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 1 (view)

wanting what you can't have Posted: 4/14/2012 8:44:32 AM
Is it just me, or is there something very strange going on with human psychology is regard to dating and people wanting what they think they can't have? It always seems that the less interested I am in a guy, the more interested they become in me, (and this is regardless of apperance/ status or whatever.) What's more, this is not just the kind of guys that I attract, because friends have said the same thing. Also, I have experimented by seeming quite keen early on and they never seem quite as interested as when I am not as bothered/keen. Is this just because men love a challenge?... Do we all want what we think we can't have? Basically, what I am asking is why you guys, (and girls), think that this is this the case and if anyone else had the same experiences?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 272 (view)

Women That Wear Thongs... Posted: 4/14/2012 8:20:46 AM
Has it ever occured to any of you guys that we wear what we consider to be sexy/ comfortable/ whatever and we are not little dollies here to please you? No... thought not.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 29 (view)

How to stop this... Posted: 4/14/2012 7:47:21 AM
Read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," your problem is text book classic.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 30 (view)

Give up or keep trying? Posted: 4/12/2012 3:18:51 PM
sounds like he is already taken to me.... If a man is really into you trust me you know about it. Men like to chase, stop contacting him altogether and let him chase you. If he doesn't... his loss my friend.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

Criticism much appreciated Posted: 4/12/2012 3:11:28 PM
Great profile other than it needs a serious side with goals/ambitions/ achievements... reads like you are fun to be around, but a bit of a bum which I'm sure is not the case :)

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

What do you think this Dream means? Posted: 4/12/2012 2:55:43 PM
Although I might not agree with pitufina_77 about her views on feminism, I certainly agree with on this one :)

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 359 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/12/2012 2:46:42 PM
To be honest you guys are going to think whatever you want to think about me and about feminism, I have better things to do with my time than try and convince you otherwise. It's your choice to have the opinions that you have and it is my choice to disagree with you. However, the one thing I would like to clear up is ..all in my head is it? "Okay Miss Dollybird with a PhD...." Now, if you didn't make a judgement, then why are you calling me a 'dollybird'? Funny that.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 337 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/12/2012 4:24:31 AM
"Lol. I would love to hear a definition of what 'truly feminine' is. a woman that knows she is as good as the president. but yet not better than the guy that sweeps the floor... exactly the same as the guy the shows his masculinity proper. just imagine the labels we could bury...if only we had the confidence to except ourselves for who we are!" I agree BUT that has nothing to do with masculine or feminine, it's to do with integrity. 'Truly feminine' is the label and it's really not needed.. hence the lol.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 5 (view)

Please help- Not getting many responses Posted: 4/12/2012 2:47:19 AM
"it reads like you are permanently on vacation. where is there any references about a job/career, stability, accomplishments?" STRONGLY AGREE

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 328 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/12/2012 2:14:57 AM
"I am actually quite glad you fools are posting this crap, so I can show my daughters what a hopefully soon to be extinct mindset looks like, and what an ***hole looks like." Lmao :D Vampyreshadow, I couldn't agree more!

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 327 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/12/2012 2:11:19 AM
and for the record I wouldn't so much as touch any of you deluded feminism bashers with a ten foot barge pole. Not because I would worry about not being as good as you, but because I am way TOO good for you, as is any other woman with so much as half a brain cell.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 12 (view)

What do you think this Dream means? Posted: 4/12/2012 2:06:01 AM
"All of the dreams I've had since our breakup" They cleary do mean something if she keeps having them. Her sub concious is trying to tell her something.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 325 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/12/2012 2:03:14 AM
Yawn some people are just brain dead. It's like talking to a wall. lol The sheer irony.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 316 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/11/2012 11:17:18 PM
Your judgement amuses me, for your information I am studying for a PhD in social and economic statistics and teach Sociology to second year undergrads at uni, not that I need to explain/ justify myself to you but to look the way that I do is a matter of CHOICE, which is what feminism is supposed to be about. I like the way that you assume because I look a certain way it means that I am not 'deep' or 'real.' No one claimed that with the introduction of feminism all of a sudden women couldn't be stay at home mums, but it has provided women with the right to vote, education, employment and a general greater level of autonomy. It is not about competing with men, it is about basic human rights. For example, without the feminist movements, (all three waves), women in abusive relationships wouldn't be able to leave because they wouldn't be able to financially support themselves.. At one point, women were not even able to file for divorce! Can you imagine being stuck in a marriage where your partner beat you and not being able to divorce him OR get a job to be able to financially support yourself? Of course I am not implying that all men are wife beaters, but shouldn't women have the right to choose whether they want to earn their own money or not? Feminism, or should I say feminisms IS a great shiny ball of wonder because of that, it provides women with the option to choose, rather than pre-determining their lives for them based upon their biological structure. Furthermore, in relation to your notion of the 'truly feminine,' there is a lot more to feminism than the radical feminist movement that you seem to be objecting against. In fact, the argument that you are making regarding developing a 'feminine narrative' (uniting women together based upon their differences from men) is actually, (ironically) a strand of a feminist movement in itself! (Second wave if you wish to look it up.) I, (obviously) disagree with this notion as I believe that by defining people based upon their biology alone you run the risk of oppressing them. "How can she not want children... how unnatural? How can she not get oxy whatever it is called released from baking a cake... that is against nature".. How ridiculous! People should be concerned with their ACTIONS AS PEOPLE and what they do in life to make things better for others less fortunate than themselves, not how 'feminine' or 'masculine' they are. I am concerned with global poverty, not whether you think I'm a 'real' woman with 'heart' or not just because I decide to wear make up and a short skirt. Ya get me?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 11 (view)

What's the secret signal? Posted: 4/11/2012 9:34:13 PM
young good looking women still get shy and have hang ups just like anyone else

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 2 (view)

Are women afraid to meet? Posted: 4/11/2012 9:32:33 PM
How many girls have done this thus far?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 544 (view)

more blonde jokes Posted: 4/11/2012 9:30:14 PM
I was blonde and am studying for a PhD so ner to you all :P

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 8 (view)

What do you do when it seems you can not get over somone? Posted: 4/11/2012 9:22:07 PM
Contact him ONCE to tell him how you feel, if you don't hear anything back then let it go, if you chase after him he will think you are a nutcase, but if you don't try then you will always wonder 'what if.'

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

What do you think this Dream means? Posted: 4/11/2012 9:16:29 PM
There is something that you want to say to him but something is stopping you from doing so. You must have some sort of unresolved issue otherwise a) you wouldn't be having such dreams, and more importantly b) you wouldn't care what they mean. Figure out what you want to tell him, even if it's for him to stop calling you and call him and tell him what ever it is.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 310 (view)

Feminism Your Views Posted: 4/11/2012 9:07:42 PM
Lol. I would love to hear a definition of what 'truly feminine' is.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 6 (view)

Should I get this girl a BDAY Gift? Posted: 4/11/2012 8:56:14 PM
"I like the idea of a nice night out. If she's busy, maybe some flowers and a card. A gift certificate to get a pedicure would be nice and might not be any more expensive than a bottle of her favorite drink. I would avoid jewelry as it's too early for all that." This guy has got it sussed, or maybe even do both, girls really don't mind having attention lavished on them! Having said this yes jewellery is too much at this stage and screams of being too keen too soon. You want the right balance taking her out for a meal and giving her a pedicure voucher or something says I care and I have thought about what would make you happy and feel special, but isn't too much and slimy either. Good luck :)

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Getting back together Posted: 4/11/2012 8:50:47 PM
"she still has feelings for her ex, however we both want to get back together eventually. We both love each other but would getting back together be a good idea?" Harsh but simple fact, she still has feelings for her ex= she doesn't love you/ is not that into you. You seem like a nice guy, why would you want to be messed around like this?

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 87 (view)

Dumped via facebook Posted: 4/11/2012 8:45:40 PM
To me this sounds like she was pissed at you for something you had done and wanted to get back at you. Not very mature but sounds like a way of getting your attention to me, either that or a middle finger up at you. If you are not upset by it then it is no great loss anyway.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 2 (view)

What's the secret signal? Posted: 4/11/2012 8:39:29 PM
You are a stunning looking girl, they are probably intimidated or you are coming across as too keen which is also a turn off.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 87 (view)

Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with? Posted: 4/11/2012 8:32:28 PM
As long as he fantasises over random people on the internet and not real life people with whom he has contact, then I don't think you have a problem. Though surely he must fantasise about you too in some capacity when you are not apart? I would be offended if that wasn't the case, but maybe that's just me. I think age, and how long you have been together etc also plays a part. I am 25 now and would say that, but I'm sure it wouldn't bother me later on in life.

morethanmeetstheeye22

Joined: 3/28/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

How to Handle Situation/ Was she just looking for a reason? Posted: 4/11/2012 8:23:14 PM
I am interested to know if any contact has been made in either direction since?

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