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 Author Thread: Assistance required!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Assistance required!
Posted: 10/19/2012 3:31:56 PM
I find the pics with the guns very offputting for a start. Get rid of those. Get a full length smiling shot and keep the main close up of your face. If you get any replies at all you are doing better than most. You are young yet and have not been here long so dont be discouraged. If a gal does not like the pics she wont bother to read the profile no matter how many times you have tweaked it. IF a gal does not answer you it is because she is not interested and it the easiest way and does not want any kind of confrontation or engage in dialogue with potential guys who get angry about being ignored. It is the nature of the cyberspace dating game and you need to have a thick skin. Girls have their pick on here.

 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Serial first dater... Not by choice :-(
Posted: 10/17/2012 1:52:01 AM
It may be just that the guys you are meeting are just out for quick sex and you dont give it. Not worth your time.
They can be married perhaps and you may need to chat a bit before you meet and get their landline.

I am surprised you dont get second dates as you look attractive.I dont know how many actually seem interested and then never call. It may be a normal experience for those on here. It is a numbers game.

Please dont let it affect your self esteem, this site and others is full of all sorts of guys and not all of them are genuine.

If a guy is keenly talking about the next date they may just be players and have others on the string. If you are meeting at bars and at night and alcohol is involved then I would suggest next time that you have a quick coffee in daylight and then see how they behave.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Guess you can't judge a book by it's cover
Posted: 10/16/2012 8:35:10 PM
Men and their double standards. Women cant win. If they wont put out, you dump them and if they want sex with you quite soon, you also want to dump them. Nice women are sexual although she was a bit forward and what is a beautiful girl doing on a dating site, right?? She may have more problems than are obvious at present and you may be right not to get too involved with her in an intimate way. She may get very demanding and you need to watch it.
She may be looking for a baby daddy. Tell her you want to take it slowly and she should respect that.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 310 (view)
 
What kind of response rates are other guys seeing here?
Posted: 10/6/2012 3:29:31 PM
mightyoaks

You need a profile rework for a start. The header is rather silly. You look attractive but you dont seem serious about any of it. You didnt ask for profile review so you take or leave my advice.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
trying to erase her mind of my height issue
Posted: 10/5/2012 10:36:07 PM
She had four dates with you so she must like you. However if there is no intimacy soon then I think she will friendzone you and no projection on your part will change the fact that you are not tall. I dont know any women who like to be taller than a man or a man that is happy to be shorter. If she decides to bail then go for a tiny petite woman that is about 4'11" and there wont be a problem. Women do like to wear heels and I can relate to her concerns.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
using an activity to get a date
Posted: 10/5/2012 6:21:42 PM
You wont know until she agrees to meet. Common interests are one thing but if she doesnt like the pic or the profile she wont be interested. If she is elusive that is probably why. Women have it all their own way on dating sit es like these and men will lie about their height, their weight and their status to get a contact but it is all counter productive once you meet. So just be honest. It would be a refreshing change. I dont know if you are set on a particular person but she may not be as represented, remember that and keep your options opem.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
He has two profiles and with two different intentions
Posted: 10/5/2012 5:09:49 PM
You can sign up for intimate encounter but you wont get anywhere. lol! Certainly not without a pic.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Not getting past the first date.
Posted: 10/5/2012 5:02:55 AM
If you really look like your pics then it is hard to believe that you are here on this site for a start and that you dont get second dates unless you are stating upfront you are not into sex until later in the relationship or some such. If you are having sex then that is all they wanted and if you are not into it, they are moving on perhaps. Do you speak for any length of time with these guys before meeting? On the phone in person? Guys on cyberspace sites are often just looking for the quick hook up.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
first date clothing advice
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:47:36 AM
I would be talking on the phone before I arranged to meet anyone. Seriously breakfast is all she can manage? I would wear a good pair of slacks and a good shirt if I were you. I Expect the unexpected and just meet for a coffee and dutch. if it is a first meet. I have had a couple of guys turn up in t shirts, shorts and thongs. I made an effort to look nice and I was not impressed. Especially as the gut was hanging out as well.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Dating a guy who's far better looking
Posted: 10/5/2012 4:39:09 AM
Women will marry men that are not so good looking if they have other things going on or dont have much choice, we are not so hung up on the physical as men. A good looking man with no money for example may marry a plainer woman who has more assets. However I would be more comfortable with someone equal to me in looks and status.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Dumped by text message
Posted: 10/4/2012 5:20:05 PM
She found someone else. You were just FWB. I guess as many conversations are done by text then dumping someone is normal in this day and age . I t also saves any confrontation where you may get angry or violent and it is the safer way. She was not really over her ex I would say and you were the rebound guy. Move on. People are pumped and dumped all the time with no explanation and that is the way it is when there is so much choice with cyberspace dating in particular for women. Hope you used protection and have checked for STDs.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 151 (view)
 
Not interested: Ignore or make conversation?
Posted: 10/4/2012 3:22:26 AM
Why not ignore? Women have to do it all the time. If you ar not interested why encourage them. It is only cyberspace after all. What do you say to someone you are not interested in? Beats me. It is worse to ignore them after you have chatted than just to pass them by. Women have much more choice on here and dont usually have to initiate contact. They can be anyone, sane, or not, sober or not, scammers etc... Just move on.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
He emailed me two days ago
Posted: 10/3/2012 4:02:32 PM
You have not even met and you need to keep a check on your imagination and your wishful thinking. If he suggested going walking with someone else along, that is not a date and I would not ask him out. Let him do it and if he doesnt make a suggestion within a week or so, move on. We have all been hurt and if you are going to bother with dating site guys you have to be prepared for anything and anyone. HOwever giving a guy your number is no big deal and you can always block them if they become troublesome. The thing is do not tell them your full name or where you live until you can really trust them. Good luck.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Almost Blind Dates(1st meetings)--Maybe its better that way
Posted: 10/3/2012 3:05:40 AM
I would want to hear their voice and chat a few times before meeting. But no more than a week or so. The physical meet decides if you are going to connect or not and no point in wasting too much time just emailing etc.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Women that compare their height to mens while wearing high heels.
Posted: 10/3/2012 3:02:56 AM
I think we can tell when men are wearing lifts. You only have to compare the length of the arms and
see if it is all in proportion. Three to five inches really? I can imagine the mincing walk and the protruding bottom with all that. lol!. However it is like women with false boobs I guess. Sooner or later the truth will out, in the bedroom and you would not be with someone a long time before finding out.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Ever get cold feet after you get to know someone
Posted: 10/3/2012 2:58:12 AM
Sounds like you are being used as a sounding board or a cheap psychiatrist. If you get cold feet then there is a good reason for that and essentially you are not really interested, so let it go.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Rules to dating or HaveI been politely dumped?
Posted: 10/3/2012 2:55:26 AM
I dont know about any three day rule. However I dont know why you would want to get involved with anyone with kids anyway. She wont have time for you and that is already quite obvious. You had a first meet which seemed to go well but you have not dated yet and if she didnt seem amenable to meeting again, then maybe try one more time to contact her and if no answer, let it go. You dont know about her life or what her situation really is.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Should Online Communication Be This Hard?
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:38:50 PM
I guess you are getting older and then again more and more guys are on these sites. Why a woman would bother with a man with no pic, is beyond me. Women have their choices on here but what sort of men, is another matter and woman are more wary these days, and rightly so.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 83 (view)
 
question on no contact since Saturday night for no apparent reason
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:36:19 PM
Why are you bothering with a woman with five young kids? You can see the writing on the wall already. It has only been a few days so get in touch one more time and if she ignores that, move on. I dont know why women want to date when they have so many kids to look after.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Just made plans to meet and user deleted her account ??
Posted: 10/1/2012 5:21:57 PM
You will encounter all types on cyberspace dating sites and many people do get cold feet about meeting up. I would ring her to confirm the meeting and not text. I presume you have heard her voice by now?

If no answer, then dont waste your time. YOu cant tell if anyone is genuine or not just with a few conversations. If she has deleted her account, that is rather strange.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Anyone having trouble getting past the first date?
Posted: 10/1/2012 4:08:46 PM
As it is a first meet you need to treat it that way. The chemistry is just not there or they are not interested in you for whatever reason. The chances of finding mutual chemistry is pretty rare, especially from dating sites. It depends on what choices a person has, whether they give you a go or not. I have had a few meets and I have only wanted to see one person again but he turned out to be a chronic gambler so he was gone. If you speak on the phone a few times and webcam then you can build up some sort of picture and connection with them but there is no guarantees.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Calling me another woman's name...
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:34:14 PM
Why would you chat for three months without meeting? If he gets your name wrong repeatedly that is a huge turn off. He is chatting to more than one woman and my bet is he is partnered. Ask to meet him next week and see how he reacts. You are wasting your time in my opinion.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Players
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:30:31 PM
Elgalawaat

Where I come from women play football and basketball. Helloo!!!
Yes using condoms helps but there are some STD's that can be contracted even with them. You had no feelings for tht woman you were banging but maybe the other guy did.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why Does Our Society Look Down On Unemployed Men So Much?
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:29:27 PM
These days everyone is expected to have some work of some kind and even women with families feel pressured to earn an income. Unemployed men have lower self esteem, poorer lifestyle choices and women on here can afford to pick and choose and the employed professional man with the car and the house will win out every time.
A man being poor is like a woman being plain.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I feel unloved....maybe it's the profile...Help!
Posted: 9/30/2012 7:25:38 PM
I agree, get some clear shots and full length. Not having a car can be a problem. However you are amongst thousands of hopeful men on here compared to so few women so dont take it personally. If they dont like the pics they wont even read the profile. It is free so why not give it a go just dont expect too much and keep looking in real life for healthier connections as there are plenty of fakes and scammers on here.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Porn And Unrealistic Expectations
Posted: 9/30/2012 5:51:14 AM
Yes I think that young girls in particular feel they have to shave, have anal sex and do blowjobs as a matter of course and with relative strangers often lol!
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 820 (view)
 
Why do some younger men want to have sex with an older woman?
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:16:22 PM
If attracting a hotter younger lover is perverse and immature, so be it!!!. As for being insecure, that does not make sense. It would be a feather in a woman's cap to have the hottie in bed and one who can keep up and keep it up. Older men always have to buy a younger woman, one way or another but it is not true in reverse, necessarily. However relationships between men and women who are older, do not usually last for many reasons and society usually frowns on it. However, who wants some old codger grunting and groaning , sweaty and wrinkly, with his jowls dangling and a heart attack imminent. Not me. lol!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Comments on the revamp please
Posted: 9/29/2012 6:09:56 PM
You look nice but you dont have a car and still a student. Smats of not having much money. Girls can be fussy with dating site guys as there are so many of you to compete. So you can revamp your profile all you like, it wont make much difference. Dont take it seriously on here and try to find real life connections. You seem to have a good personality.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Lousy lovers
Posted: 9/29/2012 6:07:28 PM
she is having sex with or allowing him to have sex on her and he is a granny too. lol!
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Trying to figure out what she means
Posted: 9/29/2012 6:03:32 PM
You seem rather immature for 28 and maybe that is why you get on with a teenager. HOwever you expressed your feelings honestly and she was a little freaked out as it was way too soon in her mind. She does not want to get too serious with you and I understand that. She may still be a virgin for a start and I would just take it slowly. See how it goes.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Lousy lovers
Posted: 9/29/2012 3:56:39 AM
While you will wait around and put up with the selfish oaf he wont see any reason to change. Wjhy dont you talk to him about it? It is not lovemaking, it is just him getting his rocks off. I would be gone for a younger more sensual lover. ughhh...
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Are relationships with some distance involved worth pursuing?
Posted: 9/28/2012 7:46:26 PM
Talking is one thing meeting is another, He may be a real disappointment so work it out once you have met and the connection is really there or not. Get him to meet you half way somewhere. Two hours is not a big deal if you are keen.
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Two profiles on POF
Posted: 9/28/2012 5:59:49 PM
Men accuse you of sleeping around to ease their conscience when they are doing it. He is using you for sex and you are probably just one of his booty calls which is setting up, in the bathroom. No style or class and why would you bother with him? He can have as many profiles as he likes, it is not against the law. You were right to end it.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
From first contact to first date
Posted: 9/28/2012 5:42:46 PM
She is just surfing and playing around probably. That is all. Girls have big choices here and perhaps being in the military is a dealbreaker. If you were not overly sexual or suggestive then I would just think she lost interest for one reason or another and went on to the next guy.

That you are getting any replies at all you are way ahead of the game. You need to set up a meeting as soon as possible after talking on the phone and if she is not inclined to do that after a week or so, move on.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 84 (view)
 
She just wants to be friends for now. Is there hope?
Posted: 9/28/2012 4:24:28 AM
She may be being cautious and does not want to enter into a sexual relationship too soon with a guy she met on a dating site. She may have others on the string and leaving her options open. You can usually tell if someone is attracted to you by the way. If she does not agree to a first date and that is what it is, then move on. The chemistry and attraction is usually there to a large degree at the first meeting but you wont know, until you call her and ask her out. Do not text but speak personally.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Love Yourself First
Posted: 9/28/2012 4:17:15 AM
We are social creatures and relationships are where we develop but the idea that having a partner will solve all problems and make us happy is largely a myth. Society is largely built around having a significant other and some will settle just to have that other person around. We are often judged as lacking or not normal if we dont have a relationship of some kind with the opposite sex.

You do need to at least like and accept yourself to have a relationship that is reasonably healthy and not dependent or needy. Easier said than done and comes more with age in my opinion. Self esteem is not a given for a lot of us and we have to work long and hard to achieve it. I adhere to the adage WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
A Man With No Wheels
Posted: 9/27/2012 9:37:57 PM
Yes a guy without a vehicle is often a dealbreaker and so inconvenient. It may indicate you dont have much money and girls dont like that. Why is it hard to understand? If you have lost your licence due to bad behaviour that is also a no no for me. Even if you have a motor bike that would be a turn off for me. Women have their own cars but that is not the point. Dating site women have their choices and naturally will pass you by for a guy with a vehicle as they are often status symbols and show what sort of guy you are. Just the way it is.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
waiting until plans are set to exchange numbers
Posted: 9/27/2012 4:52:53 PM
I would want to hear his voice before I agreed to meet up so I would give number as soon as. You can always say you are not into texing but a few phone calls is a good idea. You can always block an unwanted caller.
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 77 (view)
 
First date ... who pays?
Posted: 9/27/2012 4:14:36 AM
A first meet should be half an hour for coffee in daylight. If you offered to pay for a dinner with a guy that had lied and who you were not impressed with, even before you met, more fool you. A first date is when the guy asks you out again and then he should definitely pay. I think you are seeing too many dating site guys who are not going to be the cream of the crop and I wonder why you bother.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Can't get a word in edge-ways ...
Posted: 9/26/2012 8:11:49 PM
You were right to blow him off, he has had the same treatment with other women who are just as put off and bored as you are, and has come back to try with you one more time. He wont change and you are better to cut it off right now. He is self centred and just looking for a sounding board. YOu will come across all types on these sites, so be prepared.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Girl disappears for two months then messages me
Posted: 9/25/2012 11:46:08 PM
You were on the back burner and now she has no one else around and is contacting you. She is bad mannered to say the least and it is up to you whether you contact her or not. You are attractive and I am sure would not have trouble getting dates so unless you really fancy her, I would forget it.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Dating in a recession.
Posted: 9/25/2012 6:14:27 PM
If you are competing with the thousands of men on dating sites, naturally girls will go for the financially solvent guy as they can be choosy.

You are defending yourself and making excuses and that is a turn off. If you are making a moderate living then you will attract girls of your level. WOmen these days have careers and are financially independent so it should not be an issue generally, if you have other things going on.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
PLease could some kind ladies please tell me where i'm going wrong
Posted: 9/25/2012 6:04:29 PM
Get some smiling up close and full length shots. Crop out the woman. At your age "hanging out" wont get you any interest.

Really cool girls are only playing around and dont have to be here I would suggest. You are experiencing what most men on this site. A month is no time, try a few years!!!!. You have a lot of competition and women can be very choosy. Be ware of the attractive woman who answers you, she may be a scammer or a fake.
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 606 (view)
 
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:23:06 PM
You decided I imagine to have children at a late age and you have to deal with it. You are really at grandfather stage and it can be a dealbreaker for some women to have such young children who are typically time consuming and who are over all that themselves. I think that perhaps they are making excuses not to see you again for other reasons and I wonder if your phone is going off a lot when you are dating? YOu do have to be truthful and I would say that if you had pots of money and a lot going on for you, the issue would magically disappear. Funny that!!
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dating a first cousin when you're adopted
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:19:30 PM
If there is no blood ties, then what is the problem?? I dont get the question. First cousins by law are allowed to marry, anyway. Why are you concerned? It is hardly incest.
 lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 27 (view)
 
when and where appropriate to kiss after first few dates.
Posted: 9/25/2012 5:14:44 PM
You can go on picnics, bushwalks, week ends away and after a few dates most guys want more than just a few kisses and so do women, if they fancy the guy. No parking lots or cars for me thank you. Even if you do go to his house, you say what goes, and are not obligated to have full sex if you are not comfortable. No hard or fast rules and communication is the key. Use protection and at least you wont fall pregnant if yuo decide to go ahead. . For whatever reason you dont want him at your house, it seems. I dont think you really trust him yet. You are afraid of being pumped and dumped and fair enough but there are no real guarantees with anything, anyway.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
How to do Casual Dating right?
Posted: 9/24/2012 10:02:15 PM
brawndo

I am with you, especially when sex is involved, most women want more. You cant guard against getting hurt by only keeping things casual and trying to guard your feelings, it does not work that way for long. If a man wants casual he needs to be with several woman and not concentrating on one. He needs to be upfront that he only wants friends with benefits. That will lessen his chances of getting a woman into bed but at least he is honest. I am sure that if a woman wanted to dump him after a casual encounter or two and was going with other men he would not like it although he wants only casual. We are all human and you cant manipulate emotions.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 44 (view)
 
online dating: pay sites vs free sites
Posted: 9/24/2012 6:10:30 PM
procolharem

Many women know that separated men are often just not getting it at home, living largely separate lives for financial reasons etc and live under the one roof. I think that they are using an excuse not to see you, is all.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Talking Love/Marriage/Children VERY quickly-who else does this happen to?
Posted: 9/24/2012 4:59:40 PM
tiredoffluff

You went along with all of these hare brained schemes, the engagement ring etc. So you are part of it all. It didnt happen to you, you allowed it and bought in to it. Moving in together so soon is for financial reasons I am guessing and that people take relationships so casually amazes me. M oving in and moving out....pfft.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I dont' even get profile views nevermind replies!
Posted: 9/24/2012 4:44:03 PM
It is just the way it is on dating sites, too many men compared to women and you need to concentrate on real life connections. The profile does not matter, if they dont like the pics, they just pass by. So many guys say they are genuine etc. and it is all bulldust and girls are wary and often just playing anyway.
 
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