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Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

The male paradox Posted: 1/21/2008 12:49:57 AM
Men and women are both expected to bottle emotions just different ones. With you guys it's grief sadness lonliness, with us it's anger, jealousy, selfishness. It's ok for a guy to be a bit selfish and want to have a career that takes him away from his family or to need a night out with the guys whatever, or to get mad. Women are supposed to be in your own words, nurturing, maybe we don't always want to be nuturing or forgive you when you forget our birthdays, that's why you get crap for it for years, becuase we can't just get mad and blow up so it festers and comes out all the time cause we are still angry and we can't express it openly. Sexual emotion repression is wrong and it goes both ways.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Boy, You Ladies will do just about ANYTHING to... Posted: 1/20/2008 6:26:47 AM
Actually while being on the pill or some other form of birth control does play a role the real reason that all women do not have their cycles at the same time anymore is indoor lighting. Women's menstral cycles used to revolve around the full moon and they ALL had them at the same time, something to do with the changes in gravity or something, anyways it actually has an effect the body. They used to send women all off together to be alone during this "special" time (figures can you imagine every woman you know PMSing at the same time). Anyway it quit when they introduced artificial lighting, not sure anyone knows why, and now we only are in sync with women we live with. Sounds crazy but it's true you can look it up.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Ladies what would you do if the tables we're turned??? Posted: 10/25/2007 10:20:09 PM
Ok I have a question if men are in such a rough boat then why do you get freaked out when a woman pursues you? I would love to be able to be the aggressor. To see something I might want and go after it instead of waiting for it to come to me but everytime I try the guy tells me that I seem desperate for taking the intiative. If men want the tables turned then maybe as a whole they should stop telling women who go after what they want that they are b*tches, or sluts, or man hating feminists. I understand that not all men do this and there are the ones out there who appreciate strong women (three cheers for all of you) but the rest of the men are spoiling it for you by discouraging women from doing these things.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

would you consider meeting a Man who admits sleeping with other women Posted: 10/25/2007 10:12:13 PM
I would do it. Simply because he's honest about it. I know plenty of people who have open relationships and that works for them, because they're honest and because partners know that it goes both ways. Some of them even bring their other partners home to meet their spouses. If the spouse and the other parner hit it off they've got a nice little threesome thing going. It doesn't work for everyone but it works great for others. I consider myself a realist and let's face it some people love their signifcant others but they still find it hard to limit their sexual activities to just one person. As long as both parties are consenting and they both remain firm in their commitment to each other and play SAFELY then why not spice life up a bit. Boredom in the bedroom has killed many marriages and there's nothing to keep it interesting like knowing you've got competition. Learning new tricks in the sack from others can't hurt either.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Women checking out other women Posted: 6/2/2007 12:30:52 AM
I do the same thing. Again it comes back to appreciating beauty in all it's forms. I will notice what women wear or if they have a hairstyle I love or a body that I would love to have. Maybe some of it is scoping out the competition but either way I still look.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Can I get a general consensus? Posted: 5/19/2007 1:43:21 PM
I think that my be the best profile I've ever read. It is unique and shows cretivity and intelligence. You can say I'm smart oe funny or whatever but you've done better and actually given us a glimpse of your personality. It stands out which is the most important thing. No matter how great you are or what you out in your profile it doesn't matter if you can't capture the readers attention. I wish I had the talent for it. Happy

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Self confidence after the baby Posted: 5/18/2007 11:54:30 PM
I have a soon to be two year old son. I have stayed out of the dating game since I learned I was pregnant, first because I was pregnant and then because I wanted to devote myself fully to be a mother until he got a bit older. Now that he is getting bigger and I have more time I am thinking about starting to date again. In addition to POF and the great people I talk to on here there is a guy I know that I really like and we have had a little flirtation going on for awhile. My problem is that I won't act on these things because I haven't been intimate with anyone since I conceived my baby and let's face it we all know what being pregnant does to a girl's body. I used to be very confident in myself, I've always been more on the curvy side but guys didn't seem to mind since the extra weight came with a set of DD's. Now though I have baby related things going on, a C-section scar stretch marks etc. Myquestion is how do I get past feeling like I'm now somehow not desirable anymore. I know I'm the only woman who has children and has these things and men still find them perfectly desirable. Any ideas on how I can get over this? I'm not yet 20 which may influence your advice since most guys in my dating range are not yet past the looks matter most phase.

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What woman want? Posted: 5/18/2007 5:11:49 PM
It's cute. I don't see any glaring errors or basic rudeness that would be a turn off. It's also pretty funny. Lots of pictures which is good. Personally I don't think the nice bum part is all that bad, but again alot of women with nice booties don't know it. Anyways you've got a better profile than most so happy fishing. (Also it sounds very positive whch is Very appealing compared to the pity me routine we girls get so often).

Moonlight_Dream

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Do you mind a girl commenting on your sexual attractiveness Posted: 5/18/2007 3:40:18 PM
Ok I know this is ask a guy but I couldn't resist the urge to put my 2 cents in. Alot of the guys have said that being objectifid is great and it just doesn't happen often enough to them. I think with alot of girls it comes down to shyness. It isn't in the way we are taught to assume that guys need these kinds of things. It's an unfair double standard to you because we certainly enjoy it (again unless it's coming from a stranger we don't know then it can be a little threatening). The point is that if you want this kind of attention you may have to ask for it. Your girls aren't holding back out of spite they just don't realize that you would enjoy this kind of attention. I didn't until an ex clued me in. I would think these things but I would never verbalize them because I didn't think he would find it attractive. I was wrong and after I figured that out things in the bedroom got alot better. Don't be afraid to tell a woman what you need or want. She may surprise you and be all too happy to give it to you.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Let's try this again... Posted: 5/14/2007 9:30:29 AM
Ok I've updated my profile so I need some more reviews so I know if I've made it better or worse. Any input is appreciated so lay it on me. Who knew this online dating thing was so complicated... Also I know I need more pictures I am working on that.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Need a profile review. Please check out my Profile - thankyou! Posted: 5/14/2007 9:27:22 AM
Umm... the pictures are funny and humor is good but in the your main one there is more than one guy. It should be clear who you are so we don't have to guess...also the women in the picture...it's a dating site and seeing a guy with other girls isn't attractive to most women. Good luck and happy

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Why bite a man's ass? Posted: 5/11/2007 11:12:48 AM
Had a guy do that to me once. It's not just a girl thing I guess. Maye it's just to see the look on someones face you o something unexpected. It is kinda funny if you think about it.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Where is the best place to meet a nice guy? Posted: 5/11/2007 11:09:18 AM
My advice to you considering your current situation ( forget the people who wanna judge you) is to go to a place where there are single dads.They will understand what you're going through. I've heard that McDonald's on Sunday nmornings are great because the single Dads are feeding the little ones before they drop them off at their moms.Dunno if that's true but anyplace where there are other children is good. The park whatever. The next thing you know your kid is playing with his kid and you have somethig to talk about. No maybe 23-25 year olds don't want an instant family but who says you want 23-25? They're immature. An older guy will be more willing to consider you as an option and they are more fiancially secure (I said secure not rich to the rest of you I'm not advising her to be a gold digger but she already has kids to support she doesn't need a guy who can't support himself too). Anyways hope this helped. happy and good luck with the new baby!

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

~ To ALL Those Of Broken Spirit ~ Posted: 5/11/2007 10:43:55 AM
Thanks I needed that. Sometimes it is hard to remember to love yourself but it is so important.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Alone and not looking pathetic Posted: 5/11/2007 7:22:15 AM
You are right it is her day. The only reason I am going is because I love her and wouldn't want anything to spoil her day. But we are all young and we have a small tightly woven group of friends. For example the color of shirt that one of wore to his grandmother's funeral has been discussed at length recently because it was pink instead of black. Everything is noticed, and everybody has an opinion. The ideas you gave me have helped. Maybe if I do my best to appear happy then everyone will assume that I came alone by choice and it won't be so bad. Thanks.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Alone and not looking pathetic Posted: 5/11/2007 6:58:25 AM
I have been head over heels for this guy for years and to make a long story short he doesn't feel that way about me. He does however know how I feel about him. My best friend is marrying his brother and he is the bestman, I am the maid of honor. He is going to be there with his new fiance and I am going alone. Ugh. Any ideas on how I can go alone and not be seen as completely pathetic? I'm happy to wait and be single till I find the right person but I don't want everybody feeling sorry for me either.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

pressure to have a bf? Posted: 5/10/2007 7:09:10 AM
There is always pressure to be attached becuase most people refuse to believe that you can be happy and whole if you're single. But keeping a guy who cares for you and eading him on when you don't feel the same way is wrong. I wouldn't do it personally although I'm sure some people have. But then again I'm ok being single until I find the right guy for me. I won't waste my time or anyone else's.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

high maintenance women Posted: 5/1/2007 10:46:27 AM
Well thanks so much for your input. Again though I am aware that lots of guys prefer these women and there's nothing wrong with that. I've just come so many who say they don't when they really do. It comes down to dishonesty to me. If you want it admit it and let me stop wasting my time on a guy who's not right for me. There's nothing wrong with saying "I like fancy very feminine women" then I could say ok I guess I'm not the girl for you but good luck. Instead of saying I just want a simple girl who feels confident about herself and then trying to guilt me into being something I'm not. I like my jeans and my flip-flops for everyday but I have several pairs of heels and many dresses in my closet. I don't go out looking like a street person for crying out loud. But I don't spend 3 hours putting on make-up to go to lake for the day (my friend does and that's ok but to me it's a waste of time). Just looking for guys to be honest about what they really want.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

What is your favorite type of sex? Posted: 4/30/2007 5:18:22 PM
anybody else notice that the young people want rough crazy sex and the ones who have gotten a little older (no offense) want the sweet loving sex? I'm so glad I'm still young, bring on the hair pulling!

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 130 (view)

Most girls lie on this site! Posted: 4/30/2007 5:13:44 PM
I agree that there is such a thing as too nice. I want a guy who is respectful to me and doesn't cheat or lie, would never hit me. I do not however want a door mat lap dog or a servant. Being repectful and faithful doesn't mean that i don't want a guy who enjoys life, can stand up for himself and has his own opinions.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

high maintenance women Posted: 4/30/2007 5:11:04 PM
I'm not saying that all women who take care of themselves are high maintenance so no offense meant. I was refering to those women who aren't courteous the ones who spend more time in the bathroom checking their appearnace than they do doing anything alse. and I know they're out there because I've met them and they always seem to end up with the guy that has done but complain about that kind of woman until he manages to get one and then she's the best thing since sliced bread.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Exuding Confidence Posted: 4/30/2007 4:52:17 PM
Confidence is elusive. Yes being able to walk up to a woman and begin a conversation is a good way to demonstrate it. Be prepared though, if she isn't interested, to walk away. If you keeping pushing it she's gonna get freaked out. And be respectful that's the line between being confident and being arrogant.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

high maintenance women Posted: 4/30/2007 4:28:22 PM
What is it with men and high maintenance women? All guys gripe about how long it takes a woman to get dressed and how money they spend on things but then they turn right around and date girls with fake boobs fake nails three unnatural colors in her hair and skin that's been tanned until you don't know what color she was to begin with. Why? If you really want a simple girl then why do you keep dating these types of people? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with dating them but if that's the knid of girl you want then why don't you just say it? I'm a jeans and T-shirt kinda girl, I don't wear make-up every day and my hair and skin are their natural color. This doesn't mean that I can't look dressy just that i don't feel the need to look a movie star to go to the grocery store and it amazes me how many guys say they want a simple girl and then won't talk to you because you don't look like a model.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

The Value of Virginity: (Why) is a woman's worth more? Posted: 4/29/2007 6:26:21 PM
The value of a woman's virginity is historical. A man wanted the children produced by his wife to be his because they would inherit everything he had when he died (well his sons would). Back in the day before paternity testing the best way to do this was to ensure that the hymen was in place when you married (that would be the cherry for those of you who just got confused) and then keep them under lock and key until you had a boy. Besides a woman's virginity can be verified and a guys can't.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 95 (view)

...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments... Posted: 4/29/2007 5:44:55 PM
Sure you can and I know cause I've done it. You have to really know the person (this helps since if you were gonna have feelings you would already) and also becuase you know that there is something there that keeps you from being together. Say maybe he's childish and he thinks you're too serious but you're attracted. Sometimes sex is just sex. Especially if you both know that's all you want.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

How do you stop having feelings for someone who will never have them for you? Posted: 4/29/2007 4:55:22 PM
The wall idea is a good one. Personally I like my wall. It allows me to be free. Nothing anybody says to me matters. I'm safe. It's worked for me for a long time and I don't get hurt anymore.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Single again Posted: 4/29/2007 4:51:58 PM
I can relate. I am a single mom I was two weeks pregnant when my ex and I split. I'm still single but that's ok because I lovwe my son and I'll always be grateful to the man who gave him to me no matter howmuch of a loser he was. It hurt but I know that there was a reason in it becuase if it hadn't happened i wouldn't be a mom. Somehow that helps.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

My heart hurts Posted: 4/29/2007 4:46:47 PM
I know how you feel. Nothing hurts like a broken heart. Just know you're not alone and that there are others who feel the way you do. I hope that you have a great life and find a wonderfu man just to spite him for hurting you.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Why won't he let me go? Posted: 4/29/2007 4:44:34 PM
You are all absolutely right. He's not any good for me and it's past time that he was gone from my life. I just didn't want to face it. I don't have to care about what he wants it's not tlike he's ever cared about me. Thanks for helping me to see that.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Why won't he let me go? Posted: 4/26/2007 5:47:02 PM
Maybe he does think of me in a different way. He says he loves me he just isn't in love me (which knowing him means that because I have curves and he likes his girls flat he isn't attracted to me) and we have talked and decided that he can se my son on scheduled visits but we keep our private lives to ourselves and our distance from each other otherwise. I find that he is a good father figure and because he is the only one my son has (Daddy on drugs and lor knows what else) that I can't deprive my son of that.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

need advice Posted: 4/26/2007 4:34:28 PM
My son is 19 months old. I know there's no guarantee that my first experiences will happen again it's just a fear I have. I haven't committed to anything yet. You have all been very helpful and i will certainly take your advice into consideration.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

I just can't do the math.... Posted: 4/26/2007 11:06:07 AM
You are so right! I never got it either. I converted to a different faith and I'm happier now. People babble about free will, apparently he's testing us. i wouldn't offer my son a cookie and then slap him for taking it so what kind of sense does that make? No sense at all. Besides I've read the Bible and I find contradicted itself and changes it's mind about what is and isn't sin alot. How are we supposed to be sin free if the rules keep changing? UGH!!!!

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Pagan Ceremonies & Traditions Posted: 4/26/2007 11:02:05 AM
The great thing about being pagan is you can sort of make it fit you. If you are comfortable with having a large ceremony your first time and can find others of like mind to participate then you can . I f you'd rather start small or you want something more personal that's ok too. The cereminies for the sabbats no matter how simple or elaborate should always be significant. They should have personal meaning, for example on Samhain instaed of just inviting the dead in general you might focus on how you feel about a loved who has passed on. Sometimes you get unexpected feelings of peace as though you now know they are ok. Figure out a relationship to the event and how it affects your life. And yes while there are certain people who do not follow the rede, most do. But there are also people who say they are Christian and do not abide by the rules established in the bible that's just people for you.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Help me! Posted: 4/26/2007 9:08:44 AM
Will some of you review my profile for me? I know the picture sucks and I'm working on getting a better one but could you review the content please and give me some pointers? I have a hard time figuring out what to say about me. How do I describe myself accurately? I may think I'm funny but other people may not agree. I should have my best friend describe me she knows me better than I do but I want to do it myself.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

How to fix a broken Heart Posted: 4/26/2007 7:56:03 AM
She is sleeping with him. And you need to find a girl who can have a little respect. The only thing that heals a broken heart is time. I would say stay away from her when she moves back b/c she hasn't done you right. You don't need those kinds of friends.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 248 (view)

What is the dream message you want to see in your inbox? Posted: 4/26/2007 7:40:02 AM
Mine would say: Hey babe I've been thinking and I just realized that no one will ever love me like you do. I want to be a father to your son and spend forever with you. Will you marry me? Shane

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Sexual Coercion Posted: 4/26/2007 7:34:24 AM
In nature it is usually the male who runs around all pretty doing the best they can to attract a mate (think peacock) and you are right, women have turned the tables. We want to pretty because as a general rule men respond better to pretty women, that goes for dating and getting thay promotion at work. But there is a downside, who takes a pretty woman seriously? Even if she works hard and downplays her looks people will still she she only got where she is because she put out for the boss. So good or bad sexuality is simply a fact of life for women we can't escape it. The smart ones learn to use it.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Anyone else out there in love with someone they can't have? Posted: 4/26/2007 7:26:31 AM
I just want to say from a mothers perspective that the first priority in a woman's life should be her children and while she may think that she is doing the best thing by staying children know when their parents don't love each other. I did when I was growing up and I am much happier now that i know my mother is in a realtionship where she is happy and loved. For all of your sakes I hope she ends the marriage and gives your relationship a shot.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

whats worng with me? Posted: 4/26/2007 7:18:50 AM
There's nothing wrong with you. Some girls just don't know what to do with a nice guy or maybe they are interested but you have different goals for the future. There are lots of reasons why things don't work out in realtionships and it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you it just menas that you haven't found the right one yet. Keep looking she's out there.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Why won't he let me go? Posted: 4/26/2007 7:16:05 AM
Ok so here's my issue, I am in love with this guy (have been since I was 14 too young I know but I can't get over it) and now 5 years have gone by and he knows I love him we've talked about and he doesn't love me. He married my best friend (they are now divorced) and I now have a baby by someone else (we are longer together) and he is my son's godfather. We hang out with the same people one of my friends is engaged to his brother and the other is married to his best friend so i can't help that. He has a new girlfriend and he says he's in love. So i told him I didn't want to see him anymore because I couldn't handle seeing him with someone else and he told me no. He says that we are just stuck together for life because of his role in my son's life and our mutual friends. I told him that we could just see our friends on different days and he said no. He says it would be easier to walk away from him but that sometimes harder is better. What the F***? Someone please help me figure out what his issue is please because i don't know what to do.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

need advice Posted: 4/26/2007 6:28:39 AM
Thank you all so much for your help! I know that I am too young to get my tubes tied the doctors won't consider it until you are 21. That's ok with me. Unfortunately I was on bc when I conceived as was my mother with her youngest three. Very fertile I guess. I had a very difficult birth experience my son was premature and came home from the hospital at less than 5 pounds. i had to have a c-section and I did not get to breast feed as was my hope. I don't object to the option of being a parent again, if I want them later I can adopt, I just don't want to go through another birth and risk having the same experiences ( I also suffered from depression after my son was born and missed some of the joy of having a new baby). As for me being unable to care for him, yes right now i live with my parents, they care for me and my son financially until I can graduate so that I can stay home and devote myself full time to caring for him. When I graduate I have a job lined up with an aunt of mine where I can work from home and make $35 an hour (that's start pay my aunt is up to $50) and that's living in OK where the cost of living is low. Boy does my son have it rough..lol. As for future relationships I think that all of your advice was right and it is something that should be discussed openly. Thanks.

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

need advice Posted: 4/25/2007 9:26:54 AM
So I am a 19 year old single mom and I have one son who is 19 months old. I have decided that I don't want to have any more children of my own. I am open to dating guys with children but I have chosen not to have any more babies. I am wondering if the single guys can tell me how much harder it is gonna be for me to find someone if I don't want another baby? Would you date someone who wasn't open to the option of having kids together?

BarelyHopeful

Joined: 4/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Boys need fathers...Period Posted: 4/24/2007 7:59:16 AM
Boys (and girls) need a male role model, but it doesn't need to be a father. I grew up without a Dad and I turned out alright. Now I am a single mother (by my own choice) and my son isn't missing out on anything vital, he has a greatgrandfather, a grandfather, an uncle a godfather and all of my friends husbands who love spending time with him. Between them they have varied interests from music to video games to fishing and he will exposed to people with many more differing views and talents than he would otherwise because they all feel like they can contribute more to his life because there is no father in the picture. I think he will grow up to be more well rounded than he would have been and I know that when the time comes there will be any nyumber of decent males around to teach him how to wrte his name in the snow and shave and talk about girls.

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