Well if religion is all so mighty who created God? chat & forums.

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sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 218 (view)

Well if religion is all so mighty who created God? Posted: 3/2/2008 8:58:28 PM
Not at all. God gave you a brain in order for you to use it. What I said was that we need to consider that the limitations of humanity are not obligated to impact God's existence.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 216 (view)

Well if religion is all so mighty who created God? Posted: 3/2/2008 6:52:21 PM
That which has always been and will always be does not need to be created nor can it ever be destroyed. To demand that someone or something created God is to put human limitations on God. Just because someone had to create you, doesn't mean that God exists by the same boundaries. In fact, He created the boundaries in which you live your life!

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What not to wear Posted: 3/2/2008 6:27:38 PM
The way a girl dresses is usually an expression of who she is as a person. So, if you don't appreciate her style of dress, then you likely won't appreciate the person that she is either. There are some people who might benefit from some help in the fashion department, but that definitely isn't a your place - most especially based soley on a first date.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

ladies and no pics. Posted: 1/24/2008 7:14:40 PM
Hmm...interesting. I never considered that opting for private photos rather than public ones could be seen as having something to hide. I can understand the reasoning, but I still believe that the decision to post public photos is a personal one.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

When would you give a second chance? Posted: 1/22/2008 5:00:23 PM
I agree with the previous poster. Those are some solid dating and relationship non negotiables. The dating process comes down to getting a glimpse into a person's "good" behaviors (whether we care to admit it or not, we are all on our relatively good behavior when dating!). If they are willing to disrespect you or your time, play games, etc. the chance that any type of healthy and meaningful relationship will occur in the future is slim at best. Within a relationship, there is much that can be worked on and compromises made if both individuals are willing to do so. Serious non negotiables and instantly landing your butt out the door would be adultry, addiction, abuse, etc. in my mind. There are no second chances in trust-shattering actions.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

tattoo's Posted: 1/22/2008 4:46:41 PM
I don't mind tattoos on a guy provided that they are placed on his body with thought and significance rather than in a drunken dare. A tattoo is (or should be) an expression of yourself and I look at it as such. Thus, if a guy is sporting a tattoo of satanic stuff or half-naked women...well, that will tell me enough about him to know that we are the polar opposite of compatable. The size or placement of a tatoo is not nearly as important to me as the reasoning behind making the decision to get it in the first place.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

ladies and no pics. Posted: 1/17/2008 10:24:35 PM
I choose not to post public photos for both personal and professional reasons. I'm always happy to extend photos when politely asked. I also have no problem in initially chatting with a guy who has made the same choice regarding photo postings. At the same time, physical attraction is an important component of any potential romantic connection, and thus, photos need to be swapped relatively early in the communication.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Female expectations Posted: 1/17/2008 10:11:52 PM
The use of sex to get into a relationship is indicative of much deeper problems. All women wish to be seen as lovely, desirable creatures in a man's eyes, but a woman's (or man's for that matter) willingness to "bait and switch" sex for a relationship or a relationship for sex is a sign of definite self-esteem difficulties at a minimum and serious personality flaws in the form of manipulation for self-seeking motivations at a maximum. Either way, it isn't exactly a rosy picture. As far as my own personal experiences, I do not assume that a man wants me purely for my body, however, I do get annoyed if his actions and words point to his only intentions being physical ones. I, like many women, have had some experiences with poorly behaved men, but to embrace those behaviors as the norm would lead to a bitter life. Even centered, stable, and confident women are certainly complex...yes, we wish to be seen as desirable, but we also wish to be pursued romantically and treasured physically within longterm relationships.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Did you get your pet something for Christmas? Posted: 12/28/2007 10:21:12 PM
Yep, my dog gets Christmas gifts. She may not be the brightest beagle in the world, but she definitely understands the concepts of gifts - including the wrapping/unwrapping of them. She got a new collar and a bag of raw hides shaped like candy canes this year from me. She is also quite fond of spritz cookies at Christmas time too. Goofy pup! :) The gift giving desire for pets is rooted in my childhood. I'd insist that every family pet (from the fish to the hamster or bunny to the dogs) all received a Christmas gift and luckily my parents indulged me, or I'd likely need extensive therapy now! lol I guess I just feel like pets are a part of your family and thus, celebrating Christmas with them via giving them a gift is simply natural.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

girl has bf but still likes me? Posted: 12/27/2007 5:01:36 PM
Do you really want to be with a girl (or marry her, for that matter, as you say you would) who is capable of behaving in such a way? What do her actions tell you about her core character? In my humble opinion, you need to adjust your personal and relationship boundaries. Even if this young lady were to run into your arms today, a relationship founded in deceit is doomed to disaster.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

modified car or brand new company car? Posted: 12/27/2007 4:50:19 PM
Honestly, a guy that is completely caught up in what he is driving or parking in his garage is a huge turn off for me. Sure, enjoy a nice car, something stable, yada, yada. But, if/when it becomes the measure by which a guy gages his appeal to the opposite sex, he loses major points in attractiveness for me across the boards.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Seemingly oblivious to someone showing interest Posted: 12/22/2007 7:46:45 PM
I can definitely be oblivious to a guy's interest in me. I'm usually so focused on whatever I'm doing (even if that is a project or such with the guy), that I often don't notice those things.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

MARS/VENUS... Still the Gold Standard? Posted: 12/22/2007 7:26:24 PM
As with most things in life, I think it is a matter of taking the information with a grain of salt. There are definitely some basic differences in communication methods between men and women and yes, sometimes I do feel like we originate from different planets! But, taking any one author's theory as the standard of gender definitions and dating rules is rather ridiculous in my opinion. The point of reading is to gather a variety of information, learn about different perspectives, and extract the material that is right for your life.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

OK girls.. this is a guy asking a guy question though. Posted: 12/22/2007 7:10:36 PM
I think a lot of women have this problem. Personally, I have a difficult time "shutting my brain off" at night. I can be dead tired, but my brain is still going, "What do I need to do tomorrow?, Could I have handled that conversation today better?" etc. Most of the time, making sure that I have no caffiene in my system, a hot bath, a massage or a little lavendar can help calm my mind and body when I'm having trouble winding down from the day. If it is something that your girl consistently encounters, she should probably chat with her doctor, though. I have also used melatonin in the past too and it works pretty well - I just don't like taking something to encourage the normal human function of sleep if I can help it. I would definitely take it over a prescription medication, though. Good luck -

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

How much do manners play a part in deciding to NOT go out with someone? Posted: 12/17/2007 7:17:37 PM
Sure, manners are important. There is a happy medium, though. I'm not interested in someone who is so stiff and rigid in his manners that he is superficial. Yet, I'm also not interested in a guy who takes brutal honesty to new heights at the dinner table either. I guess, the happy medium that I'm talking about is basically midwestern manners - family oriented, yet respectful.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 206 (view)

My ex says I am a disgrace for being on an internet dating site Posted: 12/17/2007 7:07:06 PM
And THAT controlling behavior is hopefully one reason that he is now your EX. If he thinks that you being on a dating site is a reflection of your abilities as a mother (as in, an embarassment to your children, etc.) , he can tell it to the judge and see how much support he gets for his behaviors. Some boundaries seem to need placement in your co-parenting interaction too. Perhaps he needs to be told that endlessly verbally abusive texts and messages will result in a harassment restraining order. If he can't communicate nicely in your co-parenting relationship, then he shouldn't be allowed to communicate at all. He can just communicate his little heart out with the court instead. Ultimately, this man has absolutely no right nor say in how you choose to pursue future dating possibilities. His ONLY place in the conversation is in regards to any impact on your abilities as a mother - to which, he can communicate through the court if he can't manage to communicate in a cival manner with you. Sorry to sound rather harsh, but I have so little patience for those controlling, verbally badgering behavioral patterns in people.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 215 (view)

Guys - what are major turn off's for you that we WOULDNT guess at? Posted: 12/17/2007 6:49:34 PM
Hmm...I'm not a guy, but I'll share...lol Major turn offs: Lack of intelligence Lack of confidence Lack of compassion Dishonesty/manipulation/deceit Disrespectful

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Do you want to be treated like a woman or an equal? Posted: 9/29/2007 9:30:40 PM
I think women can be equal in the sense of importance within society, within the family, etc. as well as truly treated and respected as women. We are equal in a great many ways, yet also, highly different from men. We were created to be as such and I find it a shame that many women have abandoned their differences with men, seeing those differences as somehow weak. I also disagree with the philosophy that relationships are 50/50. Longterm relationships are 100/100, in my opinion. Each party gives 100% of themselves to themselves, to their partner, to the relationship, and to the family. So, for instance, in a financial setting, it isn't "her" income, or "his" income. They are both working as a single unit, not as individuals. So, it is "theirs", and should be thought of accordingly, in my opinion. But, this also comes under the concept that "the two shall become one" from a Christian standpoint. Should the woman take on the role of homemaker, "his" income is still "theirs", just as the dinner that "she" prepares is still "theirs" to share as well.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

The right not to work Posted: 9/29/2007 9:16:44 PM
Funny, since when did a woman staying at home and caring for her family equal a lack in work? Personally, I think that stay-at-home-moms have one of the hardest jobs on the planet with no overtime, vacations, or raises! Any way you hash it out, it is definitely work, though. Many families very much rely on a two family income these days. Definitely a changing of the times, social acceptances, the economy, etc. Ultimately, couples need to communicate and conclude where their priorities lie as individuals and as a family. This will be different for everyone. Personally, my parents decided that they wanted to live a less financially profitable life in order for my mom to stay at home with my sister and me. But, it is also important to note that my mom WANTED to tackle this career choice. She loved being the PTA president, chaperoning field trips, taking us to dance class, doing arts and crafts with us, baking with us (which pretty much equaled us blowing the kitchen up in flour!), etc. So, it was an individual choice on my mom's part and a mutual family choice on my parent's part. Personally, I could never have my entire career be motherhood. I would love to stay home with my children someday during those fomative years, but I would still need to have an outlet for my musical career. That is an area that is highly important to me, is a core part of who I am, and thus, would be a core contributing factor towards my happiness and parental abilities. It is a balancing of priorities.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Does a guy's job really matter? Posted: 9/29/2007 9:03:51 PM
Yes, a guy's job definitely matters, but not based on financial success. By putting time, ambition, passion, and dedication into a career, this conveys a great deal about the person's personality, beliefs, and motivations in life. These are qualities that are exceedingly important to me in a partner. So, absolutely, a guy's job is an important tool in understanding another person. At the same time, I want a partner who puts in equal level of importance on my career as well. To fail to understand the depth of education, personal dedication, and internal passion within my career is to misunderstand who I am on a core level.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Flattered, Annoyed or Irritated or just Indifferent? Posted: 9/29/2007 8:40:17 PM
I agree that a statement like this could be easily perceived by a woman as: A.) Conveying that she was previously in need of working out, or in other words, fat. B.) That you value a woman primarily based on appearance. You may not intend to convey either of the above, but you must consider how women think and reason. We are so used to an emphasis, whether positive or negative, being placed on our physical appearance, that initially approaching us on this topic will automatically heighten our defenses and definitely not hold you in a favorable light in our eyes.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Kissing Faux Pauxs Posted: 9/26/2007 9:28:34 PM
1.) Sloppy kisses - Eww. 2.) Smashing my face so much that I can't breathe. Passion is great, but all the passion in the world still require me to be able to access an oxygen supply, thank you! 3.) Facial Hair Burn - ouch. 4.) Rushing - be content with the kiss and enjoy it rather than looking to progress it into further intimacy.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

When You're Out Shopping... Posted: 9/26/2007 8:58:23 PM
I don't mind being approached while shopping, however, I definitely don't think I am perceived as approachable. I tend to focus on whatever the project at hand is, so if, "noticing cute guy in produce department" isn't on my grocery list, you are going to have to make your interest well known.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

First Impressions, Pajamas and being asked on a Date. Posted: 9/18/2007 8:41:12 PM
Awww...that is too cute and sweet! Have fun!

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Sexiest Musical Instrument??? Posted: 9/18/2007 7:50:18 PM
Bingo. Definitely the voice. A guy that can sing is extremely sexy. But, guys, if you can't sing (as dogs howling, carrying your pitch in a bucket, etc)...please don't try! A guy who can really sing definitely has me as putty in his hands, though.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Worst dressed & Best dressed First Dates! Posted: 9/7/2007 10:37:42 PM
The worst dressed...a guy who showed up in "Urkel" jeans (extremely high waisted and at least 4 inches too short in length), a plaid flannel shirt tucked tightly into those jeans, and white tennis shoes. Ugh. Best dressed...I'm a sucker for a guy in a pair of vintage wash jeans and a button-up shirt. Of course, a nicely dressed up guy is sexy too.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Christian men Posted: 9/4/2007 8:43:25 PM
Well, I'm obviously not male either, but for me, "Christian-Other" is my choice because I consider myself Christian, first and foremost. There are certainly differences in the various denominations, but to me, the true commitment to and relationship with Christ is the most defining factor of my faith. And yes, finding a Godly man isn't an easy task in the dating realm in my experience either.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Is male facial hair a turnoff? Posted: 9/2/2007 11:33:10 PM
I'm not a big fan of facial hair either. It is a personal preference thing, but for the most part, I don't find it super attractive. Every once in a while a goatee can look sexy on a guy. It depends on the shape of his face and such. I agree with the other women, though...ouch on the skin when he tries to kiss you!

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Point of Clarity on Being Single or Divorced Posted: 9/1/2007 9:33:08 PM
"Single" is not being attached to someone of the opposite sex via dating, relationship, marriage, or anything else. "Divorced" is simply extending a past relationship experience. For me, anyway, I am divorced with no children. It would be easy to extend "single" in my profile. This is, in fact, true. I AM single. But, I have experienced a divorce and that has definitely impacted my life both negatively and positively. I choose to extend this information about myself in my profile, not because it makes me any less single, but because it is an important and wonderful part of who I am today.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

Ladies, can a man cheat on you and still be in love with you? Posted: 9/1/2007 9:27:12 PM
No, I don't think that a man or woman can cheat on their partner and truly love them. To love is a conscious decision. Yes, it can be fueled by all sorts of things like chemistry, beginning of a new relationship butterflies and such, but at the end of the day, if that relationship will survive long term comes down to whether both people have made a conscious commitment to their love and thus, to their relationship. One party cheating is simply the confirmation that he/she is not committed to that love and relationship.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 69 (view)

Why are we here Saturday night? Posted: 9/1/2007 9:18:18 PM
I rarely go out on Saturday nights, as Sunday is a busy and early day, for me. I spent the majority of the day running errands, visiting my grandma, working around the house and chatting on the phone. Now it is, "wind down" time before I crash for the night.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

MARS/VENUS... Still the Gold Standard? Posted: 9/1/2007 9:05:24 PM
I've read it, yes. My "take" on all educational realms is that as a student, your job is to intake information and then apply it as it fits best in your particular situation. This rings true with reading material as well. Do I take Dr. Gray's views as Biblical relationship advice? No. Does he make some good points? Yes. At least from my perspective, based on my life experiences and such, it seems very clear that men and women are created quite equal, yet utterly different. Thus, Dr. Gray's views hold some water with me, personally, because I can identify via my own life experiences with his thoughts. This also means that I have the ability to take portions of his advice and curtail them to my needs in male/female interactions as well. I think that people enter very dangerous ground, though, when they hold up such books as the ultimate truth on any topic.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Yes... your bum does look fat in those jeans... Posted: 9/1/2007 8:33:07 PM
This is a case where most girls are not seeking an honest answer, but rather, seeking approval from the guy in their life. Or, in other words, it makes no difference whether her butt does or does not look big in those jeans. What she is telling you is that she is feeling self conscious and needs your verbal support that you find her (and her butt) attractive. Does this mean that you do not answer her honestly? No. If that particular pair of jeans isn't your favorite on her, tell her so - "Those are nice, Honey, but I really love the______pair". You are being honest, yet respectful of her feelings. And again, it isn't about the jeans, so dig deep and find a sweet comment like, "it doesn't matter what you where, Hon, you are gorgeous." I think a huge problem within this realm is that when certain questions are proposed by girls, they are very often being emotionally fueled, and yet, guys don't hear an emotionally triggered question - they hear and contemplate pure logic. We find harmony together when we can understand the opposite gender, despite how strange we might think they are on Mars or Venus. Just like, when a girl says, "nothing" is wrong, that is the emotional answer for, "I'm not talking". When a guy says it, he generally really means it. We think, process, and communicate differently in life.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Marrage question: Posted: 8/24/2007 10:15:09 PM
I totally struggle with the idea of living with a guy before marriage. There is a part of me that really believes that couples are meant to commit to one another fully first in marriage before committing via living arrangements, sex, etc. The other part of me argues that I've tried that theory and it wasn't a grand experience! I can see benefits to living with someone before considering the commitment of marriage...there is so much less to hide when living together 24/7. You can learn a lot about someone via living with them and physical intimacy. I don't know.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

how long after you were divorced or seperated did you start dating again ? Posted: 8/19/2007 9:28:02 PM
It was well over a year after the divorce before I started dating again. This was a conscious choice, as I wanted to take time to process the marital experience, heal, learn, and grow as an individual. Entering the dating world prematurely would only result in additional emotional injury. I do understand the desire to immediately jump into dating after a relationship, though. The prospect of a new romance can make you feel wanted, desired, cared for, and loved, which are all things that feel as though they are missing after the termination of a serious relationship. The problem is that those rebound interactions are rarely positive experiences.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 295 (view)

Has anyone NEVER had a ONE NIGHT STAND? Posted: 8/19/2007 9:21:55 PM
Nope, I've honestly never had a one night stand, nor would I ever consider it. Physical intimacy is meant to be shared in a committed relationship, in my opinion.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

If you believe in God why do you fear death? Posted: 8/19/2007 9:07:51 PM
I don't fear death, however, I'm also quite conscious of the fact that there is much that I still wish to accomplish and experience before that ultimate point in my life. Apprehension would seem like a better term, in my opinion, too. There is a level of fear (in my opinion, one of apprehension), regarding all experiences that we have yet to engage in within our lives. Thus, as we can only experience death once, we harbor some angst regarding the topic.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Is an act of violence ok against a cheater? Posted: 8/2/2007 9:14:59 PM
It's a song relaying one girl's personal feelings/experience, not a promotion for destruction of property and/or criminal behavior. How many times have you felt like taking a hammer to your misbehaving computer? Sometimes just the thought is enough to spark the patience needed to find a solution to the problem. How much greater, then, would the feelings associated with a cheating partner be? Mentally resolving those feelings is a perfectly natural response to the drastic emotions. As far as the song being a focus for legal responsibility...I'm thinking Carrie Underwood's managers, label, and such, have that covered. But, regardless, I don't buy the excuse, "the song/movie/video game/whatever made me do it". Every person is responsible for his/her own actions - legal, illegal, ethical, unethical, whatever. Your actions - your responsibility.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

is it wrong to end relationship over abortion? Posted: 8/2/2007 8:19:02 PM
The problem with the abortion debate, OP, is that you, as the man, do not have a legal say in the life of your child. Yes, you absolutely have the right to be upset, feel a loss, grieve the situation and end the relationship. What you have to remember is that the choices you make in regards to who you sleep with and if you use protection is not one to be taken lightly. As the man in a relationship, you must choose carefully, which woman you will trust to bring your child into this world, because ultimately, she also gets to decide whether to terminate that child as well. Please find someone to talk to in regards to your own feelings on this situation. This is a heavy topic to carry on your shoulders alone.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Is an act of violence ok against a cheater? Posted: 8/2/2007 7:52:58 PM
That is the beauty of music! A song can take you through those dramatic emotions, allow you to embrace the feelings and urge towards revenge, etc. Is it ever appropriate to physically follow though? No. Is the fantasy ocassionally helpful to many who have experienced such situations? Sure.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Dogs in the bed Posted: 8/2/2007 7:45:33 PM
Um...if her dogs sleep in bed with her - they were there before you! My dog sleeps in bed with me, but she will jump ship, so to speak, if she is feeling crowded (even if it is just me tossing and turning!), so she would likely sleep on the floor. But, make no mistake, it is her bed - not yours. And yes, ocassionally there is a stray dog hair. If you can't deal with that, then, again, she was here first, so adios!

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Was I a jerk? Posted: 7/27/2007 7:32:38 PM
My initial reaction to the situation is in regards to the emotional well being of the woman's children. If she was willing to drag her children, no matter how many, on a date with a man that she was not seriously invested in, than what kind of a woman or mother is she? Children have no place in the dating realm until such time as a serious, long term relationship is established. And even then...slowly and with great respect. This woman's actions were extremely self-centered, irresponsible, and exceedingly rude. I think you handled things well, given the circumstance.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 566 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 7/27/2007 7:16:47 PM
The term "narcissist" gets thrown around so much that it becomes difficult to determine what is truth and what is fantasy for many people. Calling someone a narcissist and actually being diagnosed as one are two different things. The frequency with which people are accused of narcissism creates a problematic situation for those dealing with the depths of the psychological problem. Clinical narcissism is a Type II Personality Disorder. Or, in other words, a relatively untreatable (counseling is about it) psychological dysfunction that stems from trauma between the age of 0-3. While the damage occured in the early stages of life, the actual illness will not become obvious until the person is fully psychologically developed (Usually early to mid twenties). Dealing with someone who is a clinical narcissist is beyond challenging because there is no ability on that person's part to cooperatively discuss, reason, or problem solve within a relationship. It is all very cut and dry in their mind - they are right and you are wrong. They are the victim and you are the cause. This means that the majority of narcissists are verbally and emotionally abusive. After all, they are just trying to show you how right they are and "help you". Very typical. Successfully keeping you under foot also ensures that you will continue to feed their narcissistic supply source, which is crucial to their illness. As far as my personal experience in this field - I was married to a narcissistic abuser. We were in our late teens when we met and the personality disorder solidified after the marriage. That being said, there were warning signs, they just weren't neon warning signs at that point and I was too young and inexperienced to notice them along the way. He was diagnosed as a clinical narcissist during our separation by a psychologist. He brought the possibility to his psychologist as an alternative to being abusive. He felt that he might be a narcissist, but having, "only the positive traits of narcissism". Yep, those were his words. When confronted with the diagnosis and reality of the illness, the psychologist instantly became, "stupid" and therapy terminated. Admittedly, anything that comes close to a warning signal of the behaviors that I witnessed in my marriage are quickly embraced at this point in my life. I'm perhaps still too cautious, but I will do everything in my power to not be tangled in such relationship dynamics again.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Is JESUS on The Auction Block? Posted: 7/27/2007 6:25:46 PM
This is not much different than the church "honoring" the highest financial supporters with their names in the bulletin, newsletter, or what-have-you. It is a play on peoples' need for acknowledgement of "good deeds". Ever notice that people are much more likely to do "good deeds" when they think that it is being noticed by others? These speakers are using the sinful nature of humans to their advantage and pitting people against one another via guilt for lack of giving and acknowledgement for more giving. They should be ashamed of themselves.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Christian rock - a turnoff? Posted: 7/27/2007 6:18:16 PM
I think that is the bottom line - if it sounds good and is acceptable to your morality, then a label is rather meaningless. The troubling thing is that so many Christian bands are less than stellar and thus, give the Christian music industry a reputation for lacking talent and professionalism. Talent is talent, regardless of religion of musical genre label. The Christian music industry needs to insist on quality music and allow surrender to God to take hold in regards to the competition of the music business, in my opinion.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

What does music do for you Posted: 7/27/2007 6:11:32 PM
Music expresses what words alone can not in life.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Can Anyone Learn To Sing? Posted: 7/22/2007 1:08:16 PM
Everyone has a natural singing voice and yes, you can train it to it's highest potential. That being said, everyones "highest potential" is drastically different. The question becomes whether the natural product is one of talent (texture, tone, ear, etc.) and also whether the person "playing" the vocal chords is teachable. I've seen many serious musicians who were so into themselves that they were literally unwilling to learn from others and thus, tapped out their musical potential rather quickly. In turn, I've also seen people who had great desire to learn with so little talent that they were also rather unteachable. Most of the common world falls somewhere in between. It doesn't sound like you are looking to pursue a career change or anything, but rather, literally looking for your voice. Taking a few voice lessons might help you to become familiar with your instrument. Otherwise, I would agree with the majority of the already given advice. Chromatic ascending and descending scales, proper warming up prior to stretching the vocal range, etc.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Christian rock - a turnoff? Posted: 7/19/2007 9:57:49 AM
It would seem to me that continuing to embrace historical opinions of a particular genre of music is rather absurd. Beethoven was considered a complete renegade and disgrace to classical music in his era as well. The projection that all Christians view rock music as the devil's music and are compromising their beliefs to appeal to younger generations is a gross generalization. From a personal standpoint, I view my faith as a core part of who I am. Thus, it does influence my choices in music. Does that mean that I limit myself to traditional hymns or even purely Christian music? No. I enjoy and embrace a variety of musical genres...everything from classical to broadway to oldies to rock to pop to Christian influenced. I don't believe that God judges us by the style of our music, but rather, the motivation and message within that music. A good Beatles tune can have just as positive a message as a Christian artist. I would also extend that there is a great difference between established, organized religion and personal religious faith/relationship with God. Churches are run by human beings and are, thus, suseptable to corruption. Their purpose in religion is to be a place where similiarly-minded people of a faith can worship, learn, and grow together in that faith. Your relationship with God is a personal thing and quite separate from any specific establishment.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Music and mood. Posted: 7/18/2007 7:59:56 PM
My mood definitely influences the style of music that I choose to listen to or play/sing. Music connects with our emotions in a way that nothing else on earth is capable of and thus, it is bound to reflect our moods, feelings, and emotions, just like a mirror. The tricky part becomes the performance realm. For instance, one of the most difficult gigs for me to perform was weddings while dealing with my own divorce. There was absolutely nothing inside of me emotionally that was willing to grasp those feelings of love, tenderness, and affection that need to be extended in love songs. Yet, as much as mood influences music, I do believe that music can also influence mood. If you focus on the moment and the song at hand, you can breathe in the emotions needed to perform a particular song even if you are light years away from that mentality from a personal perspective. As far as music choices relating to attracting women...somewhat. I mean, I'm pretty accepting of others' musical preferences, but I wouldn't date a man who relished music that I found offensive. And, I do prefer music to be a relative common ground in dating relationships. That doesn't mean that we have to like everything the other does, but I really hate the war over the stereo game too.

sass_and_class

Joined: 4/13/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Christian rock - a turnoff? Posted: 7/18/2007 7:44:42 PM
I think on of the major sticking points to this topic for me is this: Musical performance can not be void of the artist's core beliefs/emotions/perspectives and still be musically powerful. Thus, faith, and sometimes the lack there of, is a part of an artist's musical message. Various audiences will connect with various different artists, messages, and performances. Some people really connect with the highly evangelical groups and if it works for them, great. For me, I prefer a group that is not preaching through their music, but rather, their faith simply flows through their music because it can not be masked. Incidentally, I recently returned from attending the Sonshine Music Festival in Willmar, MN, which happens to be a Christian rock festival. There were a lot of musically solid bands there ranges in styles and faith approach within their music. It was a blast!

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