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 Author Thread: Guys that want no strings attached
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 344 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/27/2009 11:24:33 AM
The names whores, bit*ch, skanks and sluts are so prevalent now in their language



There are new phrases being coined by men and women now......
man/woman whore, her biatch/his biatch, his slut/her slut.


There are some men looking for chaste women, just as there are women looking for chaste men. These people are looking to develop a trusting friendship before engaging in sex, they want long-term relationships knowing they can trust the other person and that they got each other's back on certain issues. They are also people that actually want to share a trusting life together, and have some hobbies and activities that can be shared.

My father said something to me when I was going through my teen years........a man/woman who is obsessed with their own sexuality will likely cheat and therefore should not be trusted. They will make a "poor quality" life companion and your life will become of "poor quality."

Anyway, I guess that is the Ripple Effect in the Ponds that we swim.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 337 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/27/2009 9:38:29 AM
Venting forums will most likely include a lot more that wine and beer.

There will be a lot of WHINING, a little beer and just how much cheese would you like with that?

 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 334 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/27/2009 9:13:34 AM

To go further on this large responsibility to others, there is something you did miss.
Our responsibility to NOT continuously HURT ourselves with our bad choices in life. Because, when you do that, you do affect others, too. That pebble in the pond.
That, to me is more important than putting the onus on all others to keep you from harm.


I like the pebble in the pond analogy, because there are people who are simply unaware of the RIPPLES they create in the pond from the choices they make, that involve other people's lives...........I guess that comes with maturity for some and for others, maturity never happens no matter how much experience they have with life.

As in the case, when a pregnancy occurs or an STD is contracted from a NSA/FWB relationship.......some/most men will go into sociopathic behavior patterns. Did they ever discuss that part of the equation before engaging in the "sex only" relationship?

The ripple in the pond just may include another life or death............and somebody will be expected to play GOD.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 306 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/26/2009 10:04:16 PM

I think there's a term for what you describe: a friend.


I'm not sure that one could call it a friend, because friends usually connect on an emotional level as well............like they got each other's back and they can talk about their successes and failures to.

Anyway, I'm just saying that women don't have to "sexually perform" within the first 3 dates if they don't want to. There are men who just want a woman's companionship and an activity partner and there are plenty of men who don't want to be expected to "sexually perform" by someone else's deadline.

As I said, they are usually more mature men. The ones I've met are between 35 & 50.
I learned to cross-country ski last year from him.......didn't hear from him for 2 months, connected and went out for dinner.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 303 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/26/2009 9:28:10 PM
There is another type of no strings attached relationship........usually with a more mature man, not necessarily older and I've encountered it.

They want companionship/activity partner only..........it does not include sex.

There are no expectations for sex, marriage or a common-law relationship.........it's someone to share activities with such as golfing, tennis, dance lessons, day trips, movies, dining out, etc.

It can be long-term or short-term, but each pays there half of the activity costs. Why it does not include sex....... I've never asked and don't want to ask. But I've enjoyed some wonderful days with him.......like when we took dance lessons.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 264 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:00:05 PM
Let's be brutally honest here, a FWB, no strings attached, is a relationship.....a very weak relationship based on sex, sexual desire/attraction and the gratification thereof.

People who want this type of relationship can only offer sex, nothing more. Given that we are all human, humans with emotions...................some/many cannot emotionally handle this type of relationship for very long before ending it. It's short-term, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month before emotions kick in and somebody or both just ain't gonna be happy anymore.

<<<<
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 256 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/26/2009 2:11:36 PM

I think this site should allow women and men to say WHO the person is and then maybe us good ones would have a chance to meet the right one and not pass the bad ones on to someone else.and clean up all the sites


I don't think any woman or any man is completely good or bad. Experiences in life, making mistakes and learning from them = maturity and the ability to make better choices for ourselves in life.

Hey, they got CarMax now which outlines a car's past performance and defects.
How about RelationshipMax which outlines a persons's past performance and defects.
Everybody has to have a personal reference from their past relationship!!!!!!


It wouldn't work because people tell lies, and people from our past relationships may have become angry, bitter and resentful and use their power to ensure you never have a relationship again by giving a poor reference.

Sex-Excellent.
Frequency of Sex-Good.....but refuses a lot when I want it, will not improve over time.
Handling Money-Needs Work.
Sharing Chores-Not Bad....but still needs work.
Pays Share of Entertainment Expenses-Good.
Communication Skills-Needs Work.
Emotional Maturity-Not Bad......may improve over time.
Parental Participation-Poor.....but may improve over time.
Employability/contributes share of money to household...Poor, spends to much on self.
Quality Time with Spouse......Demands to much of the other spouses time.

Well there you go.............RelationshipMax, the ultimate man/woman finder.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 191 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 11:17:18 PM
Your too funny Levi
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 186 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 10:58:42 PM
When it comes to corruption it will either be MONEY or SEX
Men wanted to control women with money
Women wanted to control men with sex


Brings on a whole new meaning when you insert woman for man and man for woman...



- man wants woman to "like" him more/like him at all = FLAUNT MONEY
- man wants woman to court her/court her more = USE MONEY (or the illusion of)
-man wants woman to pony up for dates = CLAIM POVERTY (or the illusion of)
-man wants woman to be "more attentive" = BUY GIFT
-man wants a woman to "behave"/"act right" (see: do as he's told) = RIDICULE HER
-man wants to win an irrational argument = RIDICULE HER INTELLIGENCE
-man wants to generally punish a woman/send her to "doghouse" =IMPOVERISH HER
-man wants to marry into the well-to-do/better off=FLAUNTS WEALTH or illusion of
-man wants something done (dishes/laundry/babysitting/fixing/etc) = GETS ANGRY
-man wants to get noticed = BUY GIFT
-man wants to trap his woman into marriage (in general) = USE SEX (tamper with bc)
-man wants validation = USE MONEY/WITHHOLD MONEY (until she complies)
-man wants out of a moving violation = USE MONEY
-man wants to poach another woman = USE MONEY
-man wants a woman to forgive him/take him back = USE MONEY & Nice Guy Card
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 175 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 9:47:36 PM

Women brought this on themselves. No one did it TO them. They did it to themselves.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^See, I told you........ Sociopath^^^^^^^^^^^^
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 9:31:01 PM

Most believe in those cards...because they work.


Those man-cards don't work on women who know what to look for.........and you can tell by listening to their words, watching their actions.....the actions speak louder than the words.

Overly angry, resentful and bitter men have mental health issues....they are Fixer-Upers. Giving them sex won't help them, but a good mental health therapist might.

If left unchecked.........they turn into Sociopaths. They don't know the difference between right or wrong any more and have no regard for other people, especially women.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 152 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 6:52:02 PM
Women have the choice/right to make their "golden vagina" as golden as they want it to be.

The gold-digging men will engage in all kinds of tactics to lower your self-esteem/confidence to get you to part with your "golden vagina." They will resort to crap like a man doesn't have the same self-control as a woman when it comes to sexual desire..................but that is just more crap to make you feel sorry for them. There is no evidence of that stupid theory.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/25/2009 6:12:10 PM
Wow, this thread is being done to death, but lots of great opinions so I will add my 2 cents.

Sex and time are tangible things, love is not tangible.

People who want no strings attached may not have the time to devote to a relationship, but they still want sex.......love/caring for the other person is not a tangible thing and is discouraged to avoid hurt feelings. It's the same as prostitution, except their is no exchange of money(which is another tangible thing).

A man/woman who tricks another into having sex by dangling the possibility of a LTR can be avoided by simply having some self-control over your own sexuality/sexual desires and waiting for him/her to divulge the information through their actions, before proceeding. Anyone looking for "just sex" will not invest the time or effort and will go away soon enough, and that's the good news. The person who is being tricked should guard themselves from having it affect their self-esteem and/or confidence in themselves.

Men use sex as a weapon against women and if they hate all women, he's going to make one woman at a time pay the price for his anger, resentment and bitterness towards women. They get their kicks by knowing that a woman liked them enough to have sex with them, but knows they will suffer emotionally if they were looking forward to a LTR, but he dropped them like "yesterdays vagina."

A person looking for a LTR invests the time, long-term means lots of time, days, years, decades. How soon they have sex is not important, the quality of the relationship is of greater importance.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 62 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/25/2009 5:06:04 PM

Marriage is not a business agreement nor does it really matter who brings what to the table.


I have to disagree with this statement, because the goal of a business partnership and a marriage are the same.........just the terminology of the contracts are different.

If the partners in a business arrangement can't get along, the business is disolved.
If the partners in a marriage can't get along, the marriage is disolved.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/25/2009 4:38:42 PM

The custody was split 50/50.


Unless the custody/support/visitation is in writing, it isn't worth sqwat. A verbal agreement also means sqwat, is easily breeched and you can be well assured somebody is gonna be lying about it and whining about it later. It doesn't really sound like you want physical custody of your daughter, and are willing to risk your daughter's mental health by leaving her with the alledged crazy ex.

Anyway, if you can't think of your girlfriend as a friend that you are capable of having a passionate, romantic and honest relationship with, be a friend and let her get on with her life and you get on with yours.

Anyway, that's all the free advice I got, before I start charging for the time.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/25/2009 12:02:23 PM
OP......you don't say if you were legally married to your ex, but I would think that child custody/support/visitation would be a concern for any responsible parent, before they "move on".

It would appear that it wasn't a concern for you, so you waited for your ex to do all the work and take care of all the legalities........then you whine about her doing it because she was mad and accuse her of being crazy. If she was "truly crazy," why didn't you file for child custody, so your crazy ex could get some therapeutic help. Crazy people don't make good parents, nor do negligent ones.

To answer your question..........No, none of my exes were truly crazy.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Expectations in long term relationships; real vs unreal
Posted: 11/25/2009 10:56:33 AM
All relationships need boundaries, whether they are with a sibling, friend or romantic/intimate relationship.

Expectations are part of those boundaries, especially if your SO is living with you. It's important to communicate those expectations.........don't expect anyone to read your mind though. If your SO views an expectation as an ultimatum, too bad............you need to remind them that what they do/say can have a negative/positive effect on your life as well, not JUST theirs.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/25/2009 10:25:32 AM

She has been with me through a custody battle and a few deaths in my family. No i do not need her as a crutch but is helpful.


So, she was your rebound woman.........the one that you dumped all your stresses and problems on, supported you mentally, emotionally and maybe financially through a custody battle and now your bored. Geeeeesus, you didn't have the fortitude to clean up, deal with your baggage from a previous relationship before jumping into another relationship.....now you risk playing with her emotions and possibly hurting her.

Why do women pick men who are Fixer-Uppers? No, you probably are not IN love with her because she WAS your crutch and more of a mother/father/friend figure to you.

Do the lady, a big favor and let her find someone who is more genuine! JMO
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/25/2009 1:00:47 AM
Maybe you've lost your passion and zest in your own life and need time alone to figure out how to get it all back for yourself.....but it wouldn't be fair to expect her to wait around for you. Did you get involved in another relationship too soon after the relationship with your child's mother? Yah, the honeymoon phase can wear off, then you gotta be willing to deal with the realities of life and learn how to work and play together to achieve a greater happiness.

If your truly not thrilled to see and be with her when you see her, something has gone amiss. Only you know the answer to that.

Love at first sight........I guess it's possible. Patrick Swayze and his wife were a love at first sight story and the marriage lasted over 40 years.

My first love at first sight.........turned out to be just another bad boy. Lots of fun and excitement for a while, but the relationship nearly destroyed my life.

Anyway, best of luck
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/24/2009 11:24:06 PM
It's the ex-boyfriend causing waves in your happy ocean. He's tossed her aside and now because you have her, he's decided he wants her back or just wants to have sex with her. At least she was trustworthy enough to tell you.........but it would be her place to tell him to move on and find another.

It's like the dog that decides he doesn't want chew on his bone anymore, but if another dog tries to grap his bone, he's gonna snarl and growl to make sure no other dogs get that bone.

If your bored, find other interests that you 2 can share with each other, but keep in mind.........everyone needs their alone time too. Hope that helps!
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/24/2009 11:06:16 PM
Your parents have spent almost a lifetime building the trust, which leads to
"forever love." You have only invested 1 year of your life into the relationship.......trust does not happen over night and love does not happen over night.
Can't have one without the other, and it takes a while to really know someone.

The last time I fell in love, it took 5 years to finally figure out that I was truly in love. The relationship didn't end in marriage, but we remain good friends with no intimacy.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:58:21 PM

I have had some bad relationships in the past and this one is going great.


If things are going great........what is the problem? Are bored with the relationship? Because you are away from your home town........are you lonely, do feel you are not getting enough support from her? Is it a long-distance relationship?

What is the difference between in love and IN love in your mind?
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should i stay or should i go
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:38:23 PM

I really do care for her and i love her but not IN love with her.


What does this statement really mean.....i love, but not IN love??

Sometimes knowing what you are saying, leads to a better understanding of what you mean.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 735 (view)
 
Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little bitch who can’t accept that being happy isn’t
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:17:21 PM
Holy crappers man..........now replace the word "woman" with the word "man" and it brings on a whole new meaning to all the gender-biased lame brains out there in stupid land.

 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:06:30 PM
Sex may be a "tangible thing" but love is not a tangible thing that you can hold in your hand and use as currency.

It is JMO, not a judgement...... that people who engage in this type of arrangement are incapable of loving themselves or other people or they have been terribly hurt by someone who they thought loved them.

Emotional and mental health problems = a trip to a good therapist.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/24/2009 8:46:22 PM
In life, there is a little bit of everything for everyone and certain experiences with the opposite sex can cause life-altering experiences/attitudes and spiraling emotions, some negative, some positive.

A no strings attached and for "sex only" friendship wouldn't be something I would pursue, but I don't judge those who choose it. I do judge them for being dishonest to other un-suspecting men/women about it though.........SCUMBAG comes to mind.

I've had a date with one guy who was honest about wanting a no strings attached relationship.............I can respect his honesty, but he needs to respect my choice to say NO, which he did.

Mentally/emotionally it's not something I could be comfortable with. The risk of STD's would be too high and because their are no strings attached, you wouldn't know how many other people they have that arrangement with. If you get an STD, it could mean "x" many other people are involved in the spread of the disease. People are suing one another for crap like that now, or they are being incarcerated.

No Thanks...............I got more respect for my mind, body and soul than that.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Guys that want no strings attached
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:17:37 PM

Women forgot about what it is to be uniquely female.


There really isn't anything that is uniquely male or female anymore in the 21st century. The only thing left that is uniquely female is the ability to give birth to a child.

It's a sign of the times, cause and effect........men/women don't want or need to be enslaved or held responsible to/for each other. Men/women choose their careers over relationships/friendships and even their family of origin.

But some still want each other sexually, for some/most people sex is not even a need.

Well, I am one of those people who really has no time for a relationship, I travel too much and I'm away from home for a month or more at a time. It would be hugely unfair of me to expect a man to be monogomous under those circumstances and the most I can offer is friendship. Marriage with the expectation for children would be impossible for me.

What bothers me is people lying, deceiving or manipulating others into things. Like, you know the man/woman that your dating is hoping for a LTR, so you lead them on, but only to get sex from them.

Or you know that man/woman your dating only wants sex, so you hang in there hoping they will change their mind...........then you get angry when they don't change their mind. That could be construed as being manipulative as well.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 723 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/24/2009 2:02:32 PM
Independence means being a pig????????

Yikes, yes we need the politicians in on this ASAP, change the education system, re-write the dictionary, re-educate people, re-write the declaration of independence and lastly, increase taxes.

All flags flapping in the wind need to be changed immediately to a Solid Red Flag........to alert everyone to this complete injustice that has occured. What a fecking travesty!!!

Get the military in on this too.......it could lead to mass-hysteria, pillaging and a complete lack of confidence in the Constitution.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Would you cheat on SO for alot of money?
Posted: 11/24/2009 1:40:24 PM
Get a certified cheque for the million, have sex with the client, say goodbye to the client.....but thank him for the thumping, dump the career and find another SO who doesn't post stupid threads about her personal life on POF forums.


Off to Italy for some R & R
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
What is LOVE?
Posted: 11/24/2009 12:15:27 PM
For some/many people, Love is a temporary and disposable emotion/notion, a fairy tale, myth, sometimes it's a tool to get what they want or what they don't want to give in reciprocation and it's largely conditional on other things in life.

The better question to ask might be, what is Forever Love?

I love you......but my love will cease if you don't give me sex.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't give me money.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't support me in my time of need/want.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't spend more time with me.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't take care of or help me with my responsiblities.
I love you.....but my love will cease if you don't feed me or give me water.
I love you....but my love will cease if you don't share the same beliefs and opinions that I do.
I love you.....but my love will cease if you don't share the same convictions in life that I do.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't forgive me for betraying you.
I love you......but my love will cease if you don't allow me to continue betraying you.
I love you......but my love will cease if I/you become angry, jealous, envious, selfish, manipulative, deceitful, suicidal, homicidal, sad or cause any negative effect in my life.
I love you.....but my love will cease if you get old.
I love you....but my love will cease if you become handicapped in any way.
I love you.....but my love will cease if you cause me any stress in my life.
I love you.....but my love will cease if you don't love me in the ways that I want you to love me.
I love you....but my love will cease if you don't stroke my ego every day of our lives together.
I love you....but my love will cease if don't laugh at my jokes and share the same interests that I do.

See it's a temporary and conditional condition of the heart, mind and soul........so get over it. What's love got to do with anything that is visible to the human eye?

Of course I'm being sarcastic, but I'm also a realist.
<<<<<<<<<<love those emoticons!!
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Married woman becoming pregnant as the result of rape - does husband stay or leave
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:29:53 AM
From some/most of the opinions in this thread........some/most men could not find a way in their heart, mind or soul to love her share of the seed that resides within the child.

If he chooses otherwise, he is "un"choosing me.

Such is life in the mucky waters of the swamp, when we could choose to live in the fresh, clean, bubbling waters of the river.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Is being yourself really good advice?
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:06:45 AM

faking a persona might get you more tail, but yourself builds a more lasting relationship?


And what would that lasting relationship with yourself consist of? Could you live with the lifetime of lies, deception, manipulation and havoc that you may have created in other people's lives to get what you want from life. People who have resorted to that line of thought eventually become suicidal or homicidal, which means someone looses their right to life or foregoes their right to life.

Ohhhhhhhh, what tangled webs we weave for ourselves.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
bi man marrying women
Posted: 11/24/2009 12:41:14 AM
Wouldn't be the first time a gay/bisexual man hid behind the skirts of a woman to keep his sexuality smoke-screened from the rest of the world, and himself.

Some self-discovery to accept himself the way he is might be a better way to go than fecking up someone else's life.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Married woman becoming pregnant as the result of rape - does husband stay or leave
Posted: 11/24/2009 12:02:45 AM

If she elected to keep the kid for WHATEVER "reason"...I'd be done. She'd be on her own to raise the **stard byproduct. She can look to the rapist for child support and assistance raising his seed. I would never, EVER commit myself to supporting her in the decision to keep it. Nope.

She obviously cares not about MY feelings on the matter, so to Hell with her. I hope her trauma and **stard child keep her warm at night as she plods through life alone and miserable. And I would have no problems sleeping at night either for my choice to leave, just FYI.

This ain't raising a step-child. This is raising a **stard offspring of a brutal crime.


Absolutely freakin unbelievable...............Zen Sensei
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 697 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = Checkered Flags?
Posted: 11/23/2009 6:19:15 PM

Actually, the only way anybody could claim independence at all would be if they had inherited a thriving plantation of money trees.


For those people who need a plantation of money trees........no amount of money would ever be enough and they would never consider themselves independent.

Yet, for other people who only require a certain amount of money on a monthly basis.....they might consider themselves independent if they don't have to work and have the time & money to pursue their hobbies, dreams and goals.

As for Child Support........if men could jump on that "gravy train" you could bet your last dollar that some/most would. For a lot of single mothers........it's a far cry from being a "gravy train" and it's more like a "skate board."


I know one lady who gets $100 per month CS...........like that would even buy the child enough food to eat for the month. I suggested she give custody of child to the father and pay him $100 per month.............she laughed and thought that was a great idea.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 685 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/23/2009 5:24:20 PM
Is it O.K. for a woman to say she would like an INDEPENDENT MAN in her profile and no GOLD-DIGGERS or PANTY-CHASERS? I wouldn't want to start a redundant thread!

I can feel another 5 pages coming on, I'll take one eraser and call you in the morning.

O.K., o.k., it's a silly joke

 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:36:14 PM

hot pootang and boners.

Whats that ? ..... A new rap group ??


I'm not sure rickeyes............it could be a new breakfast cereal, but I'll google new rap groups and see what comes up.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
when someone of age hasnt had a relationship
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:21:13 PM
What is the right age to start thinking about having a relationship.......for everyone the answer will be different.

Some people simply don't have the time that is required to devote to a relationship. They are too busy getting an education and/or working or pursuing their hobbies with or without friends. Relationships take time, so I wouldn't criticize or judge someone for not having had a relationship by "x" many years.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:07:46 PM

does this mean that marriage ( by this i mean forever) is on the way out.


I think a "forever" marriage is on the way out, but I don't think marriage or common-law relationships will ever be on the way out.

I do notice a lot more older single people though. I also notice more single people suing for child support and infecting other people with an STD, which is a consequence of generation-x attitude towards sex and their responsibilites before engaging in sex.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 636 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/23/2009 9:17:03 AM

Razzle have you ever been married?


No, I have never been married. One of my friends is a Divorce Lawyer, so I am privy to some of the marriage/divorce stories, details, inner dynamics and the choices that were made and the outcome.

I remain cautious of marriage, common-law and divorce.......as they can be life-altering experiences, good or bad. There is an interdependence that occurs in marriage and one person's choice can have a major effect on the other persons life, so decisions should be made together and an agreement reached of some sort......but no one should have the right to take advantage of the other. Having children, job loss, sickness/disability, lack of certain skills, adultery, moves/re-locations, etc. all have a significant effect on the outcome of a person's life.

In the example that was provided where he pays $1500 monthly alimony, judges take into consideration that he has become interdependent on the services that she has provided and he may be faced with paying someone the current market hourly rate $20 - $25 for housekeeping, until he learns to do it for himself.

How many couples discuss these things before they are making the freeking plans for the wedding? How many people discuss things, but are not able to make a joint decision or agreement?

Whatever problems a person has in their first marriage/common-law relationship will more than likely follow them into a second marriage/common-law relationship.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Would a person who suffered a brain injury be a turn off for you?
Posted: 11/22/2009 10:17:40 PM
One of my very good friends who is an accountant, dated and married a brain-injured man. The injury was the result of a car accident that happened in his teen years. They have been married for 12 years and there is no question in my mind, as to why she married him. He works as an architect.

The injury caused a problem with his speech, which occasionally causes him to stutter, otherwise most of time his speech is quite fluent. He doesn't let it destroy his self-confidence and usually makes a joke about it and is quite humorous.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 611 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:30:09 PM
A woman's AGE and MARKETABLE skills are a factor when determining the amount of alimony to be paid by the judge. If she is 45 to 60 years old, the judge knows she will face age discrimination in the job market. If she hasn't worked outside the home for 23 years, she will face lack of experience discrimination and lack of recently upgraded skills will be another factor. Believe it or not........it's even tough to get a job as a waitress with no experience.

If there was a breech of the original agreement, agreements in marriage are always negotiable as long as both agree. Maybe she is angry that he's spent time and money upgrading his skills to keep himself employable, but he won't agree to her doing the same thing.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 609 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:43:29 PM

In other words, she should have to go to his house, clean it, cook for him and wash his clothes just as he is "forced" to pay alimony to her.
It all sounds like a fair deal to me..
You take my money, I take your services/labour..


Some people have no idea what they are signing up for when they get married or divorced...then they whine about the outcome. The lawyers and judges are sick of it.

Everything in marriage is negotiable and couples make their decisions together. Is anyone gonna condemn him because he wanted a stay-at-home wife or condemn her because she agreed to it?? It was their decision to make jointly and nobody has the right to judge them for their choices.

The fact that he pays her $1500 alimony per month is a consequence of his choice, the fact that she has to put a career together for herself and get further education to be engaged in fair and equitable employment is a consequence of her choice.

The marriage might have ended because she signed up for further education, but had less hours to devote to the services he was accustomed to her providing and he was angry about that and her tuition costs. Who knows, don't judge until you know the complete story!!!!

 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 3262 (view)
 
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:39:35 PM

My mom however taught me that sex is something that you shouldn’t only do but that you should be good at it as well. Maybe she was wrong. You tell me…


There are a lot of other things that a man\woman might want to know that you are good at before they have sex with anyone.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 602 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:07:49 PM

Unfortunately, I find that women who constantly tout their "independence" are women who are anything BUT. I had a recent girlfriend who shouted her "independence" constantly, but in fact she got her house by TAKING it from her ex-hubby, got her car the same way, got half his pension, $1500 in monthly alimony (with no kids), has a bank account stuffed by Mommy & Daddy and she barely makes $20K per year working for an airline. This is what she considers "independent." No, I'm not the ex-hubby, and when she went into menopause and never came out of it, I had to call it over before I became the next victim of this "independent" woman; in essence, before I became the next ex-hubby.


Some ex-husbands insist their wife be the CEO of the matrimonial home and don't want them working outside the home to provide themselves with an income from fair/equitable employment. In this case they have made an agreement that he would provide all the money in the relationship for 2 people and she would provide all the UNPAID labor that goes into cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, entertaining friends/clients, arranging for any required repairs for the home and vehicles, landscape maintenance, bookkeeping/accounting for bills and ensuring bill payments, banking, meal planning, vacation planning, answering phones/taking messages for him, and be available for whatever else he might ask of her.

She agrees to become his dependent on whatever income he is capable of earning in exchange for her labor as CEO of the matrimonial home. If he earns $10 an hour, she is entitled to $5 an hour of the money he earned in equitable employment, if he earns
$26 per hour, she is entitled to $13 an hour.

If they choose to divorce, they may not have had the money for her to have the opportunity for education or to upgrade her skills in the profession she worked prior to getting married. She did not have the opportunity to work in fair and equitable employment to have pensionable earnings that would be available to her in retirement.

Therefore, because he expected her to work within the home ONLY........she has the right to expect alimony for education needs and money to live independently from him and and half of his pension after "x" many years of marriage and service to him.
Her hourly rate of pay during the marriage floated according to whatever he earned in fair and equitable employment outside the home.

The fact that her parents gave her money...........I think all parents have that right, don't they. The fact that anyone would be jealous, envious about that is irrelevant.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 594 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:13:55 PM
I wouldn't criticize anyone who said they were independent in their profile, not a red flag for me.

However the red flags might go up if they said what their dependencies were at the moment, but that would be too much honesty/information for a lot of people.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 1383 (view)
 
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 11/22/2009 10:27:13 AM
Ahhhh, Capitano..........for the purposes of this argument E-Bay and the Price is Right does not exist, you still have to make a choice of what happens to the baby/child.

You made the choice to end the life of your ex..........so now you must assume/take full responsibility of what to do with her baby and your baby. Do you through both babies to the alligators and do you look for other alternatives/choices? In the example I've provided, you have only 2 choices.

Remember, you are GOD now..............so please feel free to play GOD and make your choice.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 1378 (view)
 
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 11/22/2009 10:04:05 AM
Ladies & Gentlemen, I just wanted to inspire a little more thought into this thread by providing a scenario where each of you would have your choice/decision in deciding the fate of an unwanted birth.

Twins are born, each of you takes a child and holds your child over a pool of alligators.
It is your free choice/decision with NO reprocussions from society or judgements from each other. You must choose whether you will drop your baby into the pool of alligators OR take the baby home and provide the day to day care for it until adulthood.......once you make your choice, you cannot EVER make another choice again. You must live with your final decision for the rest of your life.

Think of some of your past relationships with the opposite sex..............which one of you is more likely to drop their baby/child into the pool of alligators? How much time would pass before you made the decision? The both of you have the choice to play GOD.............so what will your choice be???????

The argument in this thread is futile, because no two people are going to make the same choice..........so law-makers are forced to make laws that don't take away the rights of others.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 572 (view)
 
I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags?
Posted: 11/21/2009 11:28:19 PM

I think the attitude of "I don't NEED someone in my life" is a REACTION, and not a an actual independent ACTION. I think that when a person says that, they are still reacting from a place of pain... usually the pain of a past relationship. When they get to the point where they can acknowledge while they are OK managing on their own... they really DO need someone in their life... and that they want someone in their life to love and care for ... then maybe they have gotten over that pain.


I fully agree with you 13karat.......if the person in need has been taken advantage of by another person of low integrity, a trust has been betrayed. Another reason might be that person was ostracized, criticised for being too dependent at some point in their life..........so they now profess their independence as a favorable/positive attribute.
 .Razzle.
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 1370 (view)
 
are women playing GOD when they become pregnant
Posted: 11/21/2009 11:07:02 PM
Levi
Men that have never had kids of their own, but raised, and loved, another man's child like it was their own; men that have volunteered time to the children of single welfare mom's; men that, given the opportunity, would cherish a child of their own from conception to the day he died.


Yes, I actually dated a man 15 years older than myself and he felt it was too late for him to have a child, but he was quite sad he never had a child. I found out later that he had smoked pot from the age of 17, I don't think there are a lot of women that want the father of their children to be a pot-smoker.

Anyway, I think most women on this thread have tried to understand things from the man's point of view, but can we say that for the most part we agree to disagree.

Cheers
 
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