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 Author Thread: Paying for sex ok?
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 270 (view)
 
Paying for sex ok?
Posted: 11/21/2009 8:13:42 PM
In my experience... a man has almost as much, or the same sex drive as a female in the begining of a relationship... then his sex drive becomes less with the partner he is with... then porn, poss prostitutes... the women then is confused... without child issues, her sex drive with the same guy is enhanced... his is diminished.

It all depends!
However if "my guy" uses a prostitute, I would want to know why!!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Does 70 stone man deserve NHS treatment?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:47:10 AM
^^^^^^^^^

Yes but there equipment, training etc are not being paid for by the national health system. The food that is allowing this man to become the fattest man in the world is. The treatment that is being paid for is killing him.


Plus.... to answer other posts.


Though smokers are treated on the national health, and they have paid a vast sum of money via the tax (this is another thread), the cigarettes are not paid for. People who have treatment for alcohol abuse are treated... Yes,..... but the alcohol is not being paid for by the national health.

Where are the carers getting the money for the takeouts this man is eating? It’s not whether this man should have treatment that is in dispute... It is the way that he is being treated.

If he wants to be the fattest man in the world, the operation will not help.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Cushy Prisons
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:52:24 PM
I quite agree exceptionalgirl, I was talking to a probation officer about how to prevent young offenders reoffending. We both agreed that a very short sharp shock is possibly the best intervention. One or two nights in a "hard prison" before the coping skills kick in, and then on to a community based penalty with lots of key work would work wonders on first offenders. We were talking about petty offences as well as serious ones... Prevention of escalation is always better than curing things when they get worse.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Cushy Prisons
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:20:32 AM
Hi Lynx. I have worked in the Dorset prisons, although they look quite cushy, well Guys Marsh does, Dorchester and Portland YOI NO! I am very happy to be able to leave any time I wish too.

Forget TV, Gym, and all the things that you think are like a hotel, believe me it is not nice to be locked up 24/7 with no escape from other people ,noise, smells, and the same walls and faces day after day.

I have been to quite a few prisons as a drugs worker and I really, REALLY would not want to be incarcerated even for one night.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Does 70 stone man deserve NHS treatment?
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:07:44 AM
I think this man deserves help.... However he will need to be assessed and the appropriate help should be given. From what I have read, he would not be able to afford the amount he is eating. So the help that he is getting is a subsidised diet that is killing him.

If it is a mental health problem then their are interventions that can be used, psychiatric help, CBT, bereavment counselling etc. If he refuses this help, then either withdraw support except for the bare minimum or section him for being a danger to himself.

If we must allow people all there "human rights" and give them what they feel that they cant do without because of addiction, compulsive behaviour, illness etc. Why cant my heroin clients have access to diamorphine which is a medical form of heroin, on the national health?

Oh and as far as I am aware, people who suffer from anorexia, are not able to stave themselves to death if being treated. I know force feeding happened, I am no longer sure though if this practice still continues, but supervised consumption of food does.

There are far more productive, and dare I say cheaper options to help this man.

I am dyslexic so please forgive any spelling mistakes.... Can't find the spell check on here.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Expanding your circle of friends
Posted: 9/10/2009 9:34:08 AM
I have contacted a few females on here and made a couple of good friends.

If you are uncomfortable, you could possibly use the forums.... Contact someone who posts on here and expand on the subject, add something that you are interested in as well, it might work. As with contacting people for dates, you win some... you lose some.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Were Council right to rename traditional Spotted Dick pudding dish ?
Posted: 9/9/2009 1:44:36 PM
Mr Brains pork faggots..... Just add an s!


I am going to get so barred Ha ha.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do we get less tolerant as we get older?
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:15:52 PM
I dont think so i am the same as i was 10 years ago. If someones a numpty i tell them. As i get older i tend to worry less about what people think of me, but i ve never sufferd fools in or around my life ................... [unquote]

And


I find the older I get the less surprised I am by certain behaviours, I also have a greater understanding of what makes people tick so lots of things are tolerable to me.

Does tolerating something mean that you are forgiving of a behavioural trait or that you understand it and accept it?

I know that there are certain things people do that others refuse to put up with but it's not the person they don't like just the behaviour. So all you have to do is ask them to change that behaviour surely, then you can still get along with them. [unquote]

Or I am just to lazy to have my own opinion..... Ha ha that's a new concept!

Forgot how to do the quotes!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Offally good
Posted: 8/18/2009 11:57:55 AM
To all of you that don't like offal. I bet a few of you like pate (liver) and..... sausages.... you really don't want to know what goes into them.... Ha ha!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The White Lion in Swinton - Pictures and Comments
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:43:13 AM
Ooops better get my eyes tested.... I read that as Swindon and got all excited Ha ha.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Why do men have to lean on things?
Posted: 5/21/2009 6:42:15 PM
OMG...... I am a man..... (Looks at bits, no definitely female). I lean on anything leanable on. Oooops having a moment of identity crises... mutter mutter.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Who's worst at just good friends?
Posted: 5/18/2009 2:23:33 PM
I have a lot of female friends who I have different conversations with as their lives and experiences of life give a different perspective and enrich my life... hopefully the feeling is mutual. I would never have sex with them and they not me. I have shared sleeping arrangements with them, on holiday or if I go and visit them. Locally I have female friends who I chat to in social situations. The same goes for my male friends. They are not gay, (One or two of both genders are, but that is not the point). They do not secretly want to have sex with me nor I them... We talk and have a laugh. One male friend of mine, and only one out of many, I have shared a bed with, we are very attracted to each other but know it wouldn't work, so no sex (only cuddles) . Because we are both honest... we can still just be good friends. But on the whole... I have good friends, gender is irrelevant.

I am extremely lucky and am not restrained by social rules. But am certainly not promiscuous.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Nights out on your own?
Posted: 5/16/2009 8:02:13 AM


I often go out on my own. On a nice sunny day I will go to a pub with a nice beer garden, take a book and see what happens.

Or I will go and see a band by myself. Or for instance. Stayed in London Friday night to attend a training course on Saturday. Felt like a beer, so went and had one.

I have never had any problems and have made a lot of good friends.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Endings
Posted: 5/15/2009 3:40:49 AM
Mowtown-cowgirl.... wise words indeed. Yep that was the conclusion that most people I talked too. The one that I went out with, ran away from home and had a traumatic ending to his marriage. Apparently this is a pattern of his since the break up of the marriage. Yes I found it to be very sad too.

But at the end of the day... They stay or they don't.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Endings
Posted: 5/15/2009 3:00:55 AM
If I knew that I would be less confused. I recently met someone. Not off here but where I work. I was going through a bad patch and told him to wait about four months and then ask me as I needed to get my head around finding work, selling my flat and finding somewhere permanent to live. I told him that I was not prepaered to take yet another risk at that point. I saw him (due to my work) about 3-4 times a week. He was adament that he really liked me and I could trust him. We had a lot in common and I had heard that he was a genuinely nice guy.

After a couple of weeks I decided that it would be worth taking that risk. Yes we did sleep together after a few dates. But believe me sex was not the reason that he pursued me. He was very attentive when we were together and I did not phone or text him when we were not. I knew he liked his space. I know though our mutual friends that he was not seeing anyone else. (They told me that he was very very happy with me).

After about a month, we went out to see a band. Everything was going right. Loads of smiles, laughs and arms round each other.... Then Bang... He left the club we were in, said that he had to go home alone. Then phoned the next day to say it was over. Again I know from his friends... who were also stunned at what he did.... that there was no-one else.

Back to the OP. I have absolutely no idea why this happens. One of my friends suggested that he became phobic and ran when he realized that he could actually be happy with someone.... Who knows.

Gosh that was cathartic!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Going on holiday alone
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:11:22 AM
I think the problems are different for either gender. (Butlins notwithstanding!).

I went to Luxor in Egypt for a week. Got talking to an Egyptian guy who offered to show me the culture. Now this put me in a dilemma. If I went and was attacked everyone would have said that I was stupid to go off with a complete stranger in a land that I was unfamiliar with and couldn't speak the language. But I really wanted to see the place as a local not a tourist.

So I took a risk and went into the main part of Luxor with him. (He spoke reasonably good English). He was a complete gentleman throughout my stay. I visited his village and met his family and friends, who also treated me well. There was no sexual contact at all and he didn't even mention it. He was happy to show me his culture and that was all. I saw things that I would have never seen if I hadn't taken the risk. It was a wonderful experience.

The sad thing is I would be more hesitant to take this risk in this country. It is such a shame that we are conditioned to mis-trust others.

I do realize that bad things happen..... VERY BAD THINGS! But these could happen in my town.

Trust your instincts and have a wonderful time!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why I think you shouldnt write to much in your profile.
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:51:20 AM
Depends on whether you are attracting quality or quantity or both. My profile is long(ish). I use it to filter out people who I do not want to reject.

I have a good social life outside POF and only use it as another medium to meet the type of person that I would like to meet.

It works well, I do not get a lot of mail, but the ones that I usually get are people who interest me..... mostly. There are a few who do not read it... and are surprised if I reject them for a reason that I have stated.... or just do not reply. I have made a few good friends from POF.

Those who feel that they deserve a response, should have the decency to read who they are mailing to, or just accept that they should have read the profile. For those who write to people and have read the profile. Please ignore as I am not directing this at you.

Everyone is different.... What works for one may not work for someone else. "You can't please all the people all of the time ............"
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Has this site become more of a 'social networking site' than a dating site?
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:02:19 PM
For me this site has never been a 'social networking' site, and never will be. For many men on here I suppose it has to be as the majority of 'miss average' women will not look twice at 'mr average' man, preferring to cling on to the hope that someone like myself might just be interested in someone like them. God knows why I would.
So you have the women of average looks dreaming of 'dating' someone of my God like physique, and of course getting no where because I am just 'dating' the few good looking women on here. Of course I would never tell the average looking ladies that they are average, I will always play them and pretend they are one of the good looking ladies I want to date. And they always fall for it.
Therefore, most ladies on here think that mr average is not good enough for them and will not date him, but don't get a date out of someone like me simply because they are 'average', meaning that most people who are perfect for each other don't date because they are dreaming of the unattainable, making this nothing more than a social networking site for mr and mrs average.


Thank you.... When I am feeling down, you are better than any anti-depressant!

So it is an social interaction site. you have interacted with my humour which is often social....
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
When does a guest become a part time lodger.
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:50:18 AM
Does he pay rent to his father? If not then he should. If he is old enough to have his g/f round to stay, then he is old enough to pay his way. He should then pay extra for his guest as it seems to be a permanent arrangement.

I would not suggest she pays the dad as this would give her certain rights, what food to buy etc. It is up to the son to ask her to share the cost if he so chooses.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
how to stop messages from meeting adverts?
Posted: 5/4/2009 5:33:28 PM
Ahhhhhh you live in Eastliegh....... Nuff said......
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do you get more dis-enchanted as time goes on or more desperate?
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:32:13 AM
Well after my short dabble into the relationship arena. I have come to the conclusion that I will never lose my fascination into how other people work...... This one was very weird (Even his friends were astounded with his behavior).

But I hope that I will never become desperate, dis-enchanted nor look back into the past to wonder what if.... I obviously knew at the time.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
10 cc
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:20:14 PM
Thanks Sandy...... I think I have....... Sheepish grin......BLUSH..... BUT I'M NOT IN LOVE...
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
10 cc
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:54:02 PM
Thanks Trippi..... would be nice....... However....... remember.... I'm not in love..... OH NO!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
10 cc
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:28:47 PM
"I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

(Be quiet, big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)
(Big boys don't cry)

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lyin' there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh, you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, ooh

I'm not in love, I'm not in love..."


..........................................................................................................................................

Anyone sing this at the start of a relationship for self preservation?

Oooops I think I have it bad!




ok delete it as a self pity thread.....
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Freaky women add to favorites (more than once) but never reply!
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:04:28 AM
Hi

It may be that they are tracking your forum posts as they find what you have to say interesting. I have done this once or twice, but I do inform the person. But I am me and they are them.....?!

Or it may be that they are insiders working for the government.... (Feeling paranoid now OP!)
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
The bar is open................
Posted: 4/25/2009 3:44:18 AM
ooooh its a bit early in the day.... So I will have a virtual double brandy and orange juice please. A hug in a glass!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
The Dark Art Of Getting Served At The Bar !!
Posted: 4/24/2009 10:25:46 AM
^^^^^^
ha ha Hen.

As I have said..... Wouldn't work in my local. But we do appreciate a tip. We also look after our customers, and they look after us.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Bingo for all?
Posted: 4/24/2009 6:33:14 AM

If ever I should express a desire to go to a Bingo hall, my friends have my permission to shoot me dead.


me too!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
The Dark Art Of Getting Served At The Bar !!
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:36:29 AM
Well Mac As the best barmaid in my local.... I shall try and answer these points from the "other side"

The roll around..... If you have good bar staff. They will be able to track people and know who was waiting. If the bar gets to crowded and I lose track... I just shout "who's next". I will then serve the quickest one who answers first. My punters... I mean customers learn fast As It is a traditional pub, I have found most people are courteous.

Make eye contact..... As with any social interaction it is very important to do this. Again if the pub is busy and the next person in line is looking elsewhere or worse chatting, they will lose a turn, this is done to keep the flow going.

Flirting.... This will get you a smile, but not get served any quicker.

Coin tapping.... Hmmmm Not good but you wouldn't lose your place.

Mind games.... Ha ha .... Doesn't work with me.....!

Note waivers.... Now you won't get served quicker... However I like people to at least have their money out. It stops the flow when someone only looks in their wallet, purse after they get served... It will illicit a smile.

TRB.... Ignore the comment or make a comment back! Poeple have learned not to do this with me. Asit is a local pub.... I am usually very sarcastic with the locals.... They love it .



Offer a sweetener..... Ooooh yes please!, It won't get you served quicker... but it will get you friendly conversation when I am pouring the drink....

Avoid rush hour.... In the pub I work in.... This would normally be when a band is playing. People seem to collectively pace themselves so there will be a period when it is busy, then a lull. If you can work the pattern out you can make a difference to your waiting time.

The trick is to find a good local pub with good bar staff. The job is harder than a lot of people think! If you drink in impersonal pubs, You may get cheaper beer, But not necessarily good service.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
in a relationship how long would you wait before ....??
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:20:57 AM
Quite agree with Beetlebabe.

I have been seeing my new fella for about two weeks and it is his birthday Friday. I don't have a lot of money and I know he likes orangutans. So I have bought two tickets online to Monkeyworld in Dorset. Not an expensive gift, but I thought a lot about him when choosing it.

He can do what he likes with the spare ticket....... But I am hoping that he will take me .....

I don't somehow think farting at him would make him happy!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Money money money!.....or the lack of it.
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:36:57 AM
I have been quite lucky ... in a way. I gave up my job last year to pursue a dream as I thought I had sold my flat, so could have used the money to retrain in what I really want to do. At the last moment .... when everything was to late to go back.... The buyers pulled out, leaving me jobless and homeless.... I had put my furniture into storage by then and had moved to Swindon.

Fortunately I got a sessional job behind the bar of my local where I knew a lot of people. They all rallied around to help. Due to the benefits ruling I could not claim job seekers... which was fine as I had the bar job (and a little NLP work) . But as I had lodgers in my flat could not claim housing. Most of the rent from my flat goes towards the mortgage and insurance.

So although I have very little income. The money from the shifts have to pay my rent in Swindon.... and food etc. .... I have an excellent social life and get paid! So Cool!

In am still actively seeking work as not knowing how much I will be earning each week is very stressful. The credit crunch has made this so difficult as there are about 20 people going for every job. I don't really care what I do and have signed on with all the agencies.

It is so difficult at the moment... But I can at least be with my friends.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What does it feel like to be hypnotised?
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:51:07 AM
I just had to post on this thread.... After all I am Hypno_cat

There are lots of different types of hypnosis. From going into a deep trance, where you lose awareness to conversational hypnosis where you are awake and talking. Hypnosis just means an altered state of being. I think I have mentioned this before.... If you are watching a film, reading a book or daydreaming and someone calls your name, you sometimes have to pull yourself out of of that state and come back to reality.... you would then have been in trance.

Oggers.... A life coach is someone who facilitates identification of positive outcomes and enables people to reach them. They are able to do this as they have learned how.... simples!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Ladies, is acne a big turn off?
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:30:02 AM
OP Try zinc tablets, You can get them in a health store or your equivalent. Very good for pimples/acne.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I can't stand it
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:38:35 AM
Oooooh OP. I do understand this very well. It is irrational behavior and although we know it is, we have no control over our feelings sometimes.

When this happened to me.... I removed myself from anywhere we might have bumped into each other. I totally changed where I went, what roads to avoid etc. Then after a while the pain subsided and my head was clearer. After three months I bumped into him and his g/f and I could deal with it.

Give yourself space and plenty of TLC. Time really is a great healer!

 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Stupid things you do when whipped
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:21:33 AM
And there was me thinking that this was a thread about sadomasochism! (Ah well better stick to the English forums where threads don't get lost in translation )
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The best thing about being in love?
Posted: 4/20/2009 6:55:12 AM
Unconditional cuddles, Warm intimate cuddles, Cuddles to stop you being cold, Cuddles when you are warm and snuggled up together, Cuddles when you are stressed. Spontaneous cuddles, planned cuddles. Cuddles al fresco. Cuddles that have no point except just to be a cuddle, Cuddles to show that you care when words fail. Cuddles before and after sex. Cuddles after telling a funny story..........

Oh have I mentioned cuddles
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
are people different than they are on here
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:56:27 AM
Most of the people I have met have been how they have portrayed themselves.

I have met a female forum poster for a coffee and a natter who was banned because someone reported her as a troll and as having a false profile.

She was 100% genuine. She is now a friend of mine.

It is so hard to tell.

Everyone that I have met on here, bar one, have immediately recognized me and have told me that I was exactly as I have described myself.

However could be lying!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Youtube going?
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:02:48 AM
I love youtube. I have found lots of old ska on it.

I would gladly pay to keep on it if only to keep the kids off.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Hot Or Cold?
Posted: 4/19/2009 5:45:53 AM
Ha ha ha I am still guilty at my age for giving mixed signals. If I really like someone I get all shy and don't talk to them and find it difficult to look at them.... If I like someone to chat to but don't fancy them I appear very confident and talk and joke with ease.

I don't do this on purpose.... I physically freeze.

In my case the only way that you would know is to catch me watching you, which I will be! Or observe the difference in the persons behavior towards you and other people. If you haven't done anything wrong, they should not be hostile. If they really don't want to know you... They will dismiss you and you will be invisible to them.


So good luck OP. As one person has said...... Talk to them
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Disastrous dates, should you stay or should you go ?
Posted: 4/19/2009 4:11:21 AM
I always find it fun listening to people and analysing their personality but if the person starts touching me or talking vulgar then I do not know.. although one guy was touching me and it made me laugh
Only vulgarity I cannot stand or if he tried talking me into his religion or I notice he is slightly mad


Yep me too! I like to hear other peoples stories. I will be totally honest with someone and say when I know it won't go anywhere romantically as soon as I know. But give them the choice to stay and continue to chat if they want. Most do. If they continue to pursue and it becomes uncomfortable, I will tell them this and leave. They usually can tell anyway by my body language not to mess with me Ha ha ha!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Whats Happening To Dating?
Posted: 4/19/2009 3:49:11 AM
Good analogy Carrie

The world is a lot smaller now. We also live in a throw away society. Back when I was first starting out, society was more likely to fix things when they broke. Now we throw away and buy new, or replace the old trusty modal for a newer version. There are so many perceived newer versions. I used the word perceived as with a click of a button there is a lot of choice. Unfortunately though when making that choice it involves another human being to acquiesce to that choice..... And when they don't..... That's when the toys are thrown out of the pram and adult tantrums start.

I think another aspect to online dating is the multiple dating syndrome. I remember when meeting someone new. It was automatically exclusive. It would have been highly likely that the one you wanted to see if anything happened, came from the same area as you. If anyone saw you with someone else it was considered to be two timing and was frowned upon. I can't get my head around this one. There are always going to be some glitches when meeting someone new, however part of the fun is to find away to grow beyond them.

I would also say that finding a partner in "Real life" is easier as more cues are there. We can only make a version of someone on here. Our imaginations can decieve and construct from what we read... what we want. Then when reality happens..... The first contact,,, What we meet will vary from what we expect.

However.... some people do click and go on to have very happy futures together.

Ok ramble over!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
first contact
Posted: 4/18/2009 2:49:27 PM
Matty I just wanted friends mostly and have got a few from here!

I have also made first contact. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But any read/deleted issues doesn't worry me at all. The guy had the insight not to continue.... Fair play it saves even more rejection posts from someone who is not interested.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Making Friends in the UK
Posted: 4/18/2009 6:08:41 AM
I have met two male friends, (Pub mates only) and two female friends from here, So it can be done. I have met the guy I am seeing at the moment and all my other friends from going out and meeting people. Before the internet, I found the best way of meeting people is to work a couple of shifts in a pub. Not all the people who go there are heavy drinkers, I have friends from there who are teachers, social workers, journalists, builders....... The list goes on.

I do not need POF anymore.... But the Forums are good entertainment. Never rely on one source of social interaction but extend your opportunities as widely as possible. If you want the name of a local site to you where you can make friends... drop me a line.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Why Friends?
Posted: 4/17/2009 9:23:35 AM
When I first came on here... I met some guys and there was no attraction on my part, I can't speak for them.... However two of them remained friends. We went out for a drink occasionally or went to see live bands. Exactly what it says on my profile! (We don't all tell lies!). Both knew that sex was not on the agenda so they were complete gentlemen. One even crashed on my sofa a couple of times and I stayed in his spare room once. Neither were gay nor playing any game whatsoever.

Some people can do this. It is better to have a friend, male or female, than sit at home being miserable. When out both can meet other people and maybe find someone. So it increases the opportunity to find the right one.

There are many many reasons.... Some good some bad as to why a person puts the category that they feel suits them best.



I am now in a relationship (early days), I have male friends who he accepts and he has female friends who I accept.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Axe to grind
Posted: 4/17/2009 6:28:34 AM
Ooooh I probably have this little treat to come my way as I have recently changed my status to not single/not looking!

I can't think of a time that I have PMed someone to vent anger..... I have had fleeting thought about telling certain people what I think. (Especially some who post on the forums).

But then again it would be the same as becoming angry at the dog poo that you trod in!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
The holy grail, quest for the decent man
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:57:11 AM
Well Glutey to answer your post.

"I don't think anyone claimed mutual exclusivity Hypno, not here at least. Whatever was written on other threads, I can't say."


because they, i.e. the majority are so overwraught with being decent, they never ask


"So you've found someone you consider decent, a subjective experience of someone also persistent. Is this, in your experience, the general case, or based on the early impressions of a new relationship?"

In my experience. The guy that can get the girl..... (not always as both need to be attracted to the other in some way). Will be the one who asks her. To look longingly at someone doesn't work, to tentatively ask , maybe but not the best way. We really cannot mind read! Some may think we can (both genders) Ha ha.

For me and a lot of my female friends, A guy who comes across as confident is a big attraction as it implies strength and stability. It may turn out not to be the case, but I am talking about the guy that gets the girl... First contact.

Players have learned this which is why they are so successful, but players are a small percentage of this kind of man.

A successful decent man, manages rejection well. Stays to gently peruse or moves on. Not necessary to another female as another attraction is someone who doesn't need, but wants, so is therefore happy both in a relationship or not in a relationship.

I like guys who are interesting and make me think. Not yes men. I don't want to tame them. I just don't want to be bored, (harsh but true). I am in danger of being attracted to a bad guy, but age and experience have taught me to look for certain signs.

this relationship may not work, but it could be for a number of reasons. One being that we are not compatible.

"This remember is a hypothesis, offered as something to discuss rather than be offended by."

I thought I was discussing. I am certainly not offended.
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
The holy grail, quest for the decent man
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:26:44 AM
[Quote/]Anyway, the hypothesis goes that the bad 5% make all the running, so when you read someone looking for a decent man, it's a fair bet that she's been surrounded by decent men but only the bad guy ever steps forward, because they, i.e. the majority are so overwraught with being decent, they never ask.

Why oh why are decent and shy and not being confident, seem to be linked on these forums so much.

You can actually be decent and have the confidence to ask anyone out. The two do not go together. They are NOT mutually exclusive! (Get the picture!)

Yes I have read Thomas Hardy and if Gabriel Oak had asked Bathsheba out, there wouldn't have been a story!

I have just met a good man, who is both decent and confident and did not take maybe for an answer, but kept going..... He won ha ha! I have another date with him tonight.

Look to yourself if you are not succeeding, what can you do towards keeping your decency and being successful!

Now theres something to ponder.

Hula Moo Mssg 23. Ha ha Got him! (Keep your hopes up they do exist!)
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I Hope This Doesn't Sound Stupid!
Posted: 4/14/2009 5:13:32 PM
Mr Provocative..... Yep agree..... Some girls/guys delete messages. Some (me) wait for the system to do it.

If someone is interested then they reply.... If not they don't.

It's as simple as that!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Body type-Average???????
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:42:51 PM
Ok I have had a wine or two!

I work sometimes behind a bar when I need to earn a little more than I do. The way I have found to interest a guy..... (oh by the way I don't need to bed them, and don''t) (apart from one who was, and is going out with me... AWWWW Bless)

Is to........

Ready for it......

Nothing to do with body type.....

really ready for the secret! ....

Ok I will tell you........

SMILE and look interested.

LAUGH..

INSULT IN A FRIENDLY WAY.....

BANTER.....

SMILE.....

Works every time.

And if the guys don't bed you. Which with me they don't...... (apart from the one I chose) they will respect you!

Gain a reputation..... Friendly but don't assume!

Doesn't matter your size.... works every time.... both genders.



Ooooops gave a secret away!

So don't lie .... you don't need to!
 Hypno_cat
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Body type-Average???????
Posted: 4/14/2009 9:45:21 AM
ok there are extremes.... I would probably not be attracted to someone who was very overweight verging on obese.

To go the otherway.... About two weeks ago, I probably would have said that I would probably not be attracted to a guy who I would perceive as being skinny or very thin.... I have met a guy who is exactly that... Very slim. He has persuaded me to date him. I have had a wonderful Easter with him. Whether it will last... who knows..... If it does not, it would be nothing to do with his body type.

Sorry just read this thread properly..... Possibly not quite on topic... But i am trying to convey.... Don't completely dismiss people who you think you will not be attracted too. You may be pleasantly surprised!


VVVVV Exactly how do you know this? Have you contacted and dated many men!
 
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