I can totally understand many not being able to relate to Zappa. His music is as "out there" as it gets, but for anyone to suggest he was a musical hack who didn't know what he was doing would be absurd.

You should do the same as well

^So that make you 150 years too old to use the word "Peoples" instead of "People"

Who am I to argue with OK Cupid!

Did u come here for TrueLove or Lust ? Why r u here really ?

What keeps you coming back to POF?

and are you getting your needs met ?

Do you really make new friends offline that you met online?

Well Domo I find if you want to attract the hot guys you need to look hot, and change the negative attitude
being thin isnt the end all be all, if you pass off negative vibes no matter how hot you look men will avoid you, I bet most guys on this site would avoid Paris Hilton and her skanky disease filled twat.

Another thing that props men up is money and material objects. I've known a few that get a fancy car or talk up which neighborhood they live in. It only takes a few women to warp a guy's sense of perception. For example, a guy that I used to work with was far from Brad Pitt; but once he got a corvette and he kind of changed. The car was getting noticed by women, a few even flashed him while he was driving.

It helps if you screen the profiles you message. Pre-screening helps your odds of a reply. Don't message someone where it is clearly obvious that they don't fit well with you. If you're a hunter that loves shooting Bambi, don't message the girl that says she's a Vegan.

Similarly, don't get overzealous in the screening. Unless something they have on their profile is TRULY a deal breaker, give them some room to show who they are. We're not all Shakespeare, and profiles range from poetry to grafitti on a bathroom stall. That doesn't mean that those profiles are a true representation of who they are.

1. Don't send a message with cliche' lines. They are old and tired and an intelligent woman won't respond.
2. Try to mention something in the woman's profile that you two have in common.
3. A light compliment is nice, but don't overdo it.
4. If you are sending a chick a message and she doesn't respond within a day or two and you really thought she was worth sending a message to, remember- she might not make POF priority #1. Send another message after a week.
5. Most important thing of all to remember-- just like the website states.... there are plenty of fish. You just have to use the right bait, dude.

Most females in any age group will respond to a message from a man, even if its just a thank you, if they feel its genuine.

Well Hybridized, you really need to improve your profile. and you need more pictures. unless you are bald you should never wear a hat in your main picture. If you are bald, then you need a better/classier hat.

You profile could use more pictures.... and hats/sunglasses are seen as you hiding something. So drop those.

If I found a woman attractive, her profile wasn't a turn off and there was enough in her profile to say something, I'd contact her. From that, I'd usually get between 1 in 5 and 1 in 10 replies. More from women whose profiles had some real personality in what they wrote. Less from the women with sterile profiles containing the usual cliches. If I got a reply, I rarely had difficulty keeping it going, but if the woman wasn't much fun to talk to, I didn't really makemuch effort. So, maybe half of the replies were worth pursuing past a few messages. I could usually manage at least 1 date per week, but a 2nd date was rather rare. You just can't predict what the chemistry will be like in person.

Is your goal on here just to get dates? If so, just send out a ton of messages. I was a bit picky who I sent messages to, choosing only those I felt compatible with by their profile and interests.

Honestly, I think that the current state of online dating just doesn't work for most decent men. A douchebag with better pics will get all the women. Good luck man.

You only need to send ONE message to get a date. The hard thing is determining WHO to send it to in order to get a favorable reply.

None. I let them contact me - I only needed to respond appropriately.

I don't remember how scientific that study was. It just stuck with me that out of the group viewed, men rated as many women as being attractive as not attractive and it was a very even looking curve. But the women viewed a large majority of men being unattractive/below average and only a very small amount as being attractive. The OP opened with a statement about how all these guys that aren't attractive view themselves as being more so than she views. I don't know who she has been viewing so can't say for certain how she can really make that determination, other than they aren't to her. But it might just go along with what that study found. OP also stated how she thinks women view themselves as less attractive than they are. My experience has been the opposite for many cases.

Hybridized: How is any girl supposed to get past all your preferences that you list in the first two paragraphs of the "Who I'm looking for section" of your profile? I think you've managed to alienate every single female that would be interested in you. Anyone that was initially interested when they clicked your profile would, after reading it, be doubting that they fit your criteria. I know you're not listing requirements, but you might as well, because even a hint of incompatibility (at this stage) will make them question if they should or shouldn't message you -- we all know it's easier to do nothing. And, you call us picky. ;)

As for having things in common, I know who I am going to appeal to and who I'm not. Needless to say, the ones who like long haired musicians are the ones I get messages from.

I have no earthly idea what the hell it is most guys are doing wrong on this site, but it has to be something.

I'm guessing many of them just go after any attractive female they see, regardless of whether they have anything in common or not.

It's actually rare that I write anyone, but when I do, I read every word of the profile beforehand. I only write the ones I have a strong feeling will reply, and I have a lot in common with. I would say 75% of the time they do respond.

I think it's best to make sure you really do pick ones that you think you have a lot in common with. I have a feeling a lot of guys are picking one small thing and running with it.

Well naturally.

Hybridized: Didn't mean to offend in any way when I suggested you might be messaging women out of your league. Generally, I do believe someone can be out of your league, I don't think it always means looks. Some people are just more appealing than others because of their situation, not just their looks. I only mentioned this to be fair to the ladies.

I also know what you mean about not being able to meet anyone in the real world. My hobbies are as bad as yours when it comes to meeting women. I tend to work a lot of hours sometimes and I have Internet access at work...so here I am. Even so, I'd rather hit on a random woman in the grocery store than hit on a woman online.

I use the forums so nice try with that. I dont send messages. I dont go out of my way to email men I know arent going to email me back. I do positive stuff I eat under 1200 cal a day, I dont drink and I go to the gym an hour a day so please know what you are talking about. Just because someone is on here did you ever think its just for the forums

Hybridized: Not all good looking guys are douchebags and not all ugly dudes are nice. The women I've seen on here just set their sights waaaay too high. The women you're trying to talk to probably have a ton of other guys talking to them at the same time and you just don't stand out enough to get anywhere with them.

Standing out is really hard to do online unless you have great pics. Not to mention perhaps you might be ovestimating yourself a bit and messaging a bunch of women out of your league? I don't know.

I'm not talking about the job market. Most people apply for many jobs and only get a few calls for interviews. Not every employer you send a CV to will call... the point was only that we don't always get tons of replies.

Take Hybridized, for example, he used to have lots of pics... back in the beginning of this thread I looked at his profile. LOVED his pics. Say we started e-mailing. Just becuase he's good looking, smart and interesting doesn't mean we'll actually hit it off. The great pics might reel someone in, but more than great pics are required to keep any interest going.

I am now convinced that the Internet is the absolute worst place to meet a woman and have stopped trying. Most of the women here are totally full of themselves and not worth the effort of sending out 58737 messages hoping for a decent girl to respond. I now only recommend online dating to players lookin to get laid. Anyone who is able to meet someone in the real world and get a date, that's what they should do. These sites are full of broken misfits. To the few decent ladies here, I don't mean you.

My motto, it's what I tell anyone who's new on here. I have one thing to say to all. I'm 48 yrs old. I haven't found it in 48 yrs, what makes me think I'm going to find it in a day on here? If you think you are supposed to find it in the first day, week, month you are on here, you aren't thinking rationally. It takes time. I haven't read your profile, I would say, make it your own, be who you are, if they don't like it or you, then they just don't like it. You're only gonna please one person in your lifetime...YOU! If you are lucky, you'll find someone who's pleased enough with you to take you on for life. Good luck finding her, hang on to her when she comes along. It won't be love at first sight, it'll grow in time. Love comes as you get to know someone.

Exactly. The key is to not let lack of interest make you feel like a failure. Think of it this way. WHen you're job hunting, how many applications do you send out? Many of them, right? How many calls for an interview do you get? I'd bet cash that the ratio is pretty damned small.

To all the guys upset by a lack of responses, don't let it get to you. It's really not that you're uglier than you thought you were or anything like that, most of the women on here just overestimate their own looks. I share my online dating experience with as many people as possible in the real world and women just have a totally different experience on here. If you're a decent looking woman you can expect 5-10 messages per day from different people, more so when you first open your account. So after a week on here an average looking girl is has been contacted by quite a few guys and will most like be interested in the best looking and most charming ones. As an average looking guy, that means you're out of luck because a few of the guys she's talking to are better looking. When the woman meets these guys and they turn out to be douchebags, she'll talk about how all men online are jerks. Too bad she ignored messages from decent guys.

OK guys, I don't want to sound harsh but enough whining. It's just the nature of online dating. For most men our messages will go without a response. There are probably a number of reasons for that but I'm realizing it just is. It annoys me but I'm coming to terms with that. You just have to write a decent profile that gets a woman curious about you and have some good pictures (you don't have to be a supermodel but just good clear pictures showing you smiling and and having fun).