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 Author Thread: Where do you draw the line?
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Where do you draw the line?
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:28:48 PM
It's up to what BOTH people are comfortable with.
There are almost endless possibilities.
I've tried a lot of stuff, some I like, some I don't.
I had one woman tell me "no razors, knives, needles or blood, but ANYTHING else goes". And she literally meant it.

For me; legal, no blood or pain, and nobody throws up.
But I still have my preferences.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Married people on POF...
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:32:30 AM

"btw hes married this is his wife"
Yes, and when they get caught then you end up with the blame and your own guilt. Do you want that?


if he can't hang out with other women no wonder he's on a dating website
He doesn't want to "hang out". It's amazing how people who are in committed relationship will try to justify having "friends" of the opposite sex. You met on a dating site; your female, he's male, do the math.

If he follows the typical pattern, he will expect a commitment from you, even though he's sleeping with his wife virtually every night. Odds are he will even try to make you think it was your idea and you probably would. They will typically do their best to play you and keep you to themselves by pushing your buttons. One of my favorites are the ones who will expect to communicate with you every night, after their wife goes to bed. Then they go cuddle up with their wife, and you spend the night alone.
Don't let them pull that one on you.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Insensitive or just trying to help?
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:23:24 AM
I'm glad to see the consensus in the response in this thread.
His feelings and motives aren't true.
He' shallow, insensitive and sounds like he's looking for a "trophy".
Move on.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 584 (view)
 
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/23/2013 11:16:42 AM

I think it depends on the situation.

I don’t usually bother with background checks unless I am feel there is a proper need.
Exactly.
Those of us who routinely do multi-day, my place/her place first dates do frequently do them.

In my last, I was spending a week in her house, where I would occasionally be alone with her teenage daughter. Do I think she was insecure? No. She's actually a highly intuitive person, who trusted her intuition about me. Did I just immediately volunteer all my information? No. She volunteered hers first, and it checked out. Did we exchange Social Security numbers? No. Why would you? That isn't necessary. Did she use a $49 internet check? No. A $500 private investigator. Did I "pass"? Yes.

It didn't bother me one bit. Anyone who's bothered by it needs to ask themselves why.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Soul ties
Posted: 3/22/2013 8:35:41 AM

I can honestly say that the man I have had THE strongest soul connection with in my life, I never had intercourse with.
+1 (except "woman" Vs "man")
It actually scares us at what might occur or be possible.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 26 (view)
 
When is it considered a first date
Posted: 3/21/2013 2:32:15 PM

It was recently brought to my attention that just because I meet someone, I have been chatting with online for a few days, in person for the first time; its not necessarily a first date, but a first meeting.
Sounds to me like you either found someone who isn't serious about dating or is way too anal retentive. First "meets" are virtually worthless. You need a setting where you have the ability to spend several hours together.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 68 (view)
 
What makes a guy chose online dating?
Posted: 3/20/2013 7:15:01 AM

- But Outmind said it best, I get to scratch my balls while typing. This may be hard to explain to ladies, but it's such a valid argument.
That's a valid concept. No shower, sitting in my robe, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, a race on the TV, with millions of women at my fingertips.

Works for me.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Online dating is there a chance?
Posted: 3/20/2013 6:57:46 AM

I personally thinks its a matter of timing....
There is a time and place for everything and a man who thinks he is going to rush me into things I do not feel ready or comfortable in doing is not a man I personally want to date.
Exactly; and every person and situation is different.


Not all dates cost money, a walk in the park, a nice drive, a picnic and many other things dont cost money and they allow two people to talk and get to know each other in different settings.
Exactly; of the 2 of my last 5 that weren't my place/her place, one of those involved just sitting on a park bench. Of the previous 2, one was 6 hours walking in a park and another was 8 hours at an auction that cost $3.


Relationships take time to build and in different settings.
Yes; and on 2 of my last 3 my place/her place dates, we went out for some meals, visited with friends/family, went to the grocery store or home improvement center, and similar activities.


I personally am not inviting anyone to my home, nor going to his on date two or three.
Virtually the exact same words that the forum poster I did my last 7-day her place first date had written in multiple forum posts. Just sayin. (She was also a proponent of "coffee meets".)


so is sex and I am not jumping into that on date two or three either.
I understand that, especially if your dates are just a couple or few hours. But in a multi-day date, you have an opportunity to build a stronger connection and determine if sexuality is something that you are comfortable sharing with that person.

Thank you for the rational responses and discussion of the subject.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Online dating is there a chance?
Posted: 3/20/2013 5:47:11 AM

They cannot do the normal thing of courting me for some time, going to the cinema, paying dinner, paying a coffe even
You sound "expensive".


When I say no, that`s not the way I think this should be, no cooking for you but you taking me somewhere, there is no more phone calls or emails
Because that comes off as controlling and demanding.


Good relationships IMHO begin with dating and getting to know each other. Having fun and learning about each other.
In a cohabitation LTR, at least for me, 95% of our time together will be spent at home, cooking, eating, cleaning, doing home improvements, gardening, campfires, cookouts, entertaining friends, taking the trash out, doing laundry and lawn care, interacting with kids, watching TV, listening to music, talking, cuddling on the sofa, sharing a bathroom, and the greatest amount of time will be sleeping together.

Spending time at Starbucks, going out to dinner, bowling, movie theaters and whatever else you propose as a "date" does not give me a true picture of what it will be like to be in a relationship with someone.

My place/her place and multi-day dates are the best way to learn about someone and find out what it would be like to live with them. It does not automatically mean that sex is expected. In my experience, people who are serious about finding a relationship don't waste time "meeting" at Starbucks, Timmies, or Panera.

Over half my first dates and 90% of my second dates are my place/her place dates. Including women who had previously made forum posts saying they would NEVER consider it. When the profile, pics and conversations "connect", and an appropriate comfort level is built, many will do them with the right person. For more on the subject, read my History, and do a thread search for 'Place".


and ask me to cook dinner
Believe me, I wouldn't be asking you to cook dinner. I would be doing the cooking. I would likely spend as much as I would have at a decent restaurant, and after a meal or two, you would probably be too intimidated to cook for me. You would also know my decorating tastes/style, housekeeping and whether I leave the seat up or down. You wouldn't have learned any of that at a restaurant.


I sense this site is merely for hook ups and not long term, regardless if a man indicates that on his profile.
There are plenty or real and sincere people here looking for serious LTR's. There are also many men and women who aren't serious about finding a LTR. You've just come through your first month where you appeared on the Newest Users list, and got hit on by all the players. Also, with a "Separated" status, there are many that are serious who may pass you by. Give it time, and search for and message the guys who you find interesting and appear to be serious.

Yes; on-line dating does work. I've done it over 13 years, and had several great cohabitation LTR's, some shorter term relationships that were awesome and very rewarding, and made some great friends.

Yes; there are some people just looking to get laid or have someone fund their entertainment activities. But, there also plenty of real, serious and highly dateable people here as well.

* Note: I'm not trying to "flame" anyone; just giving my perspectives from my experience.

Keep Fishing.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 3/19/2013 5:34:27 PM
Statistically, 5-6 pictures works best. One is seen by many as suspicious. Try to add more.

Delete:
So if your Interested shoot me a message, bye for now.
They know what to do. It's unnecessary and needy to ask them to message you. "Bye" is inviting them to move on.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Complementary colors and style
Posted: 3/19/2013 6:47:08 AM
The lavender is great on you.
Black and white are a combination that's always striking.

I don't like the red stripes on you.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Suggestions for tweaks or overhaul to my profile...
Posted: 3/19/2013 4:43:31 AM
Some guidelines on pics:
Pics need to show a variety of clothes, settings and activities, with a SMILE!
Self cell/webcam pics are always bad.

Avoid all of the following: Sunglasses, hats, kids, wedding rings, your tongue and middle finger, members of target sex (even if it is your sibling), dead animals/fish, guns, bare torso pics (prohibited), sleeveless shirts, more than one with alcohol, your friends or party scenes (if any), cluttered backgrounds and the bathroom mirror.

Get outdoors! If you have a motorcycle or a dog, do a pic with them (not of them)! Travel pics, outdoor and activity pics are great, as long as you didn't try to crop your ex out. You need at least one full-height pic showing your body type. The pics should be good quality, good lighting, have a clear image of your face including your EYES and a SMILE!

Each pic should have a creative caption, at least one of which should have a date. Try to get 3 good (head and shoulders) primary pics. Rotate the primary once a week. Use Viewed Me to track effectiveness. If anyone tells you to "use this one, not that one", all that means is that it should be one of your primary pics. Different pics will appeal to different people. Rotate them, and did I say: SMILE!

So, you say that you don't have any good pics, and don't have anyone to take them for you. Hire a professional photographer if you can, if not: Get your camera out or clean your cell phone lens, go out in public and ask someone to help. The cutie down the hall, the Barista at Starbucks, the lady walking her dog in the park, the guy shooting pool at the bar. Anyone. People like helping other people. You might even get a date!

Try for 12 searchable Interests. One or two words. Consider ones that would appeal to a woman.

Delete:
Ugh, I'm not sure what else to talk about, but I'm open to answer any questions you might have...so shoot.
Unnecessary, perceived as lazy/ needy. They know what to do.

Paragraphs of more than 3-5 lines are too large a block of text. Break it up into multiple paragraphs.

Add a description of the non-physical attributes of who/what you are looking for; something for them to identify with.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 139 (view)
 
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/18/2013 6:48:17 AM
The guys (or women) here saying that "I could make you" are uneducated and inexperienced.

There can be psychological issues that are involved. Exploring those through therapy is a valid and typically productive option. A good example would be the woman who posted that the only time that she has was when she was very drunk; that should desensitize the body and make it more difficult, not easier. The reason would be that it altered her psychological responses.

Additionally, not every woman is "wired" the same. How the nervous system connects to the brain varies between individuals. Some will respond differently to stimulation of different points on the body.

I've had one partner who I can easily give multiple squirting orgasms from digital nipple stimulation, but doesn't want and won't respond to any type of clitoral stimulation. I've experienced orgasms with partners with stimulation of the web of the skin between the toes, the anal hairline, and more.

I've been through a couple dozen hours of sex therapy with multiple partners who had issues. It's amazing how the body and mind are wired. There are many ways to achieve orgasm. They all occur in the brain. There is so much more to it than a d*** and a clit.

Sex happens between the ears.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
am i missing connections?
Posted: 3/18/2013 6:09:02 AM
Girl #1 is where to focus.
You don't know the motives of girl #2 and she's in a "relationship". That's just asking for trouble.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Non-pic review requested...
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:17:58 PM
Between the hair, the weight, glasses, your age and intelligence, I guess you wouldn't have too much trouble if you concentrate on women 5-10 years older than you.

You are obviously really bright like you say in your profile and it's obvious you have it all figured out. You will do really well. :)
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Waterworks in bed
Posted: 3/17/2013 11:05:00 AM

The vagina is sterile
OMG, where did you go to school and for what?
The vagina has a natural balance of "normal flora", which may include a variety of bacteria, yeasts, etc. They typically achieve a balance where they are actually keeping each other in check and preventing infections, which occur when one or more overpopulate.

There is no orifice on the human body that is sterile. There is typically no orifice on the human body that does not contain bacteria capable of causing an infection when introduced into another orifice even on your own body. Between a healthy immune system and the normal flora in those orifices, infection is not automatic, but it can occur.

Your "logic" for your post does not take into account the barrier of the cervix, the sack, the properties of the amniotic fluid or immune responses.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Can I have your number?
Posted: 3/17/2013 10:12:30 AM
To clarify my earlier post; if I get a FIRST CONTACT message that says:
Can I have your number?
The answer is "NO!".

If they don't appear too good to be true, they pass my other screens, and they have communicated with substance to their messages, then "Yes".

It's very unlikely that I would actually receive that request after the 3rd message or so, because by then they will likely already have mine. Or, we will have discussed options for Yahoo Messenger and Skype by then. In about half, we will have already discussed the first date by the 3rd to 5th message. My most recent contact suggested a her place first date in the second message. One in November, we had agreed to a my place first date by the 3rd message. Secrecy and evasiveness doesn't help your cause or protect you; honesty, openness and knowledge does.

I think that less than 20% of my POF dates hadn't exchanged real cell phone numbers before the first date. Those were also ones who wanted to do "meets" and went absolutely nowhere.

Some people are just way too paranoid or really bad judges of character.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 20 (view)
 
A women's intuition....
Posted: 3/17/2013 8:59:38 AM
I have a couple different perspectives.

- Yes; he's probably had someone else in the bed.
- HOWEVER; I had an experience in my last marriage where 3 different times, my wife found women's underwear in or under our bed. I never had another woman in that bedroom. We entertained a lot, and had many parties. By the size of the underwear, we both knew they weren't hers. Someone, for some reason was obviously messing with us. We never figured out who or why.

- Trust your intuition.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Moving in together
Posted: 3/17/2013 8:35:52 AM

I am guessing you have not been on the forums long. It is interesting. People's issues come pouring out in their responses.
+69
This thread in particular has really shown a few users true colors.

It's very possible if he's running the business from his home, that he's so into you he feels that the business would suffer and/or he couldn't give you the attention you deserve on weekdays.

OP: You have some very good attitudes about this; you should be fine.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 3/17/2013 8:23:50 AM
Much better Headline.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Profile review
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:00:55 AM
The Headline seems arrogant and demanding to me.

Add a creative caption to each pic.

Delete:
So if your interested or could be come talk to me, bye for now.


Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Honest opinion and advice needed please.
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:53:27 AM
Plenty of people will view you and receive your messages and not respond. Typically, only about 10% will be a potential match.

Some guidelines on pics:
Pics need to show a variety of clothes, settings and activities, with a SMILE!
Self cell/webcam pics are always bad.

Avoid all of the following: Sunglasses, hats, kids, wedding rings, your tongue and middle finger, members of target sex (even if it is your sibling), dead animals/fish, guns, bare torso pics (prohibited), sleeveless shirts, more than one with alcohol, your friends or party scenes (if any), cluttered backgrounds and the bathroom mirror.

Get outdoors! If you have a motorcycle or a dog, do a pic with them (not of them)! Travel pics, outdoor and activity pics are great, as long as you didn't try to crop your ex out. You need at least one full-height pic showing your body type. The pics should be good quality, good lighting, have a clear image of your face including your EYES and a SMILE!

Each pic should have a creative caption, at least one of which should have a date. Try to get 3 good (head and shoulders) primary pics. Rotate the primary once a week. Use Viewed Me to track effectiveness. If anyone tells you to "use this one, not that one", all that means is that it should be one of your primary pics. Different pics will appeal to different people. Rotate them, and did I say: SMILE!

So, you say that you don't have any good pics, and don't have anyone to take them for you. Hire a professional photographer if you can, if not: Get your camera out or clean your cell phone lens, go out in public and ask someone to help. The cutie down the hall, the Barista at Starbucks, the lady walking her dog in the park, the guy shooting pool at the bar. Anyone. People like helping other people. You might even get a date!

Try for 12 searchable Interests. One or two words. Consider ones that would appeal to a woman.

Delete:
I am a 25 years of age guy living in London.
Redundant and unnecessary.

Delete:
Any thing you want to know please ask way.

Enjoy your day !!!!
Unnecessary, perceived as lazy/ needy, and invites them to move on.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is there any hope !!
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:45:30 AM
Your photos are in clear violation of the SITE rules and prohibited in your dating profile.
6 more years with the same photos and you'll have the same results.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Moving in together
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:39:09 AM

Fine, then you behave as though you are simply dating one another, not playing house and not spoiling him by regularly preparing lavish meals.

There are 2 ways to bring about a change in a loved ones behavior. Add something to their life or take something away. In this case if she decreases the spoiling of her boyfriend he may very well realize what he is missing and reassess.
That's it, play games!!!

Or, sit down and really talk about it, openly and honestly.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Going on a date with NO intention of having sex
Posted: 3/17/2013 5:38:24 AM

It could mean anything.
Exactly.
Don't make assumptions. Novel concept, ASK HIM!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Waterworks in bed
Posted: 3/17/2013 5:35:50 AM
I have a lot of experience and knowledge and I've never heard of it.
My understanding and experience is that a man can't urinate when fully erect.
It would not be on my To Do List.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
See if you can spot 5 - 10 things wrong in my profile.
Posted: 3/17/2013 4:30:24 AM
The facial hair and your Interests make you seem more like a 20 year old.

Try for 12 Interests and consider ones that would appeal to a woman.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
3 questions
Posted: 3/16/2013 11:31:03 AM
OP:
I'd honestly like the first date to involve cuddling on the couch and watching the lion king.. but i cant put that right?


Msg #3:
Change your setting to I.E. instead of dating


Msg #4:
that's dangerous territory for profile content. You will definitely loose some with it. The majority of my first dates (meets) are my place/her place dates, but I don't mention that in my profile. That comes with discussion and building a comfort level.


Msg #5:
Either change your Looking For to Intimate Encounters or redirect your focus to something less (implied) sexual. They don't know you and there's no way anyone self-respecting is going to go to your home on a first date.


These are all valid responses. Most people's first reaction is that suggesting a my place/her place first date means that you expect sex. That's not necessarily the case; BUT that is the initial reaction that you will get from many if you suggest it in your profile.

You can find several threads in the forums dedicated to this subject. It would be good for you to read those for additional input. Keep in mind when you are reading them, that every person and situation is different.

I only date women who are serious about LTR's and are not sexually promiscuous. Yet, after building a comfort level, based on communication, honesty, trust and respect, they agree to or even suggest my place/her place first dates.

My most recent POF first date was with a woman who has previously made MANY posts on POF forums as a proponent of "coffee meets" and saying that she would NEVER CONSIDER a my place/her place first date, or even second or 3rd date for that matter. Three days after starting communication with me, SHE suggested a 7-day, her place first date. I was the first man that had been in her house in over a year, and she had only had sex with one person once in the prior year. She stated during that date that: "I guess I can't post about that in the forums anymore".

Three of my last 5 POF first dates have been multi-day, my place/her place dates. (All 3 had only had one sexual partner in the prior year.) There are many women who WILL do it, WITH the right guy, who builds the proper comfort level. No, do not mention it in your profile. But, learn how to quickly build the level of trust required.

I recently decided to start looking again, sent only one message to only one very "religious/proper" woman, looking for a monogamous LTR, who knew me from the POF Help forum. In her second message (and I had only asked if she wanted to consider discussing if we wanted to think about dating), SHE suggested a my place first date. Not something that she would normally do. But, she feels that she knows and can trust me, even though we have only shared a few messages as friends only in the last 8 months.

Within 12 hours of ^that^, an awesome woman "friend" from POF who I have only had one date with, contacted me and suggested a multi-day second date at my place. Our first date, last fall, had been 44 hours at her place.

- It's not the "norm".
- It will cause many to get the wrong (or possibly right) impression.
- You will find very few people who will publicly state that they would do it.
- You will encounter people who say that they never would, that actually will in the right circumstances with the right person.

You need to clarify in your profile who and what you are looking for. If you just want a hook-up, then make that clearer. If you want something more serious then make that clearer.

Save the my place date for discussion, AFTER you have built an appropriate comfort level. You may be able to quickly determine their interest and whether a "public meet" is required first.

Read the threads dedicated to the subject. They will give you valuable information and a variety of perspectives. Pay particular attention to the comments on safety, especially the rational ones. Safety is important, and there are techniques to greatly increase you internet dating safety. Where that date takes place is virtually meaningless as far as safety is concerned. Protect yourself and know who you are dating, anywhere.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is there anything WRONG with my profile? (men/women)
Posted: 3/16/2013 9:45:03 AM

How do you smoke weed without smoking?
Well you can vaporize it and cook with it to begin with.

Smoking tobacco can be a deal breaker.
Consuming cannabis can be a deal breaker.
Drinking alcohol can be a deal breaker.

If you consume water should you say "Frequently" to Drinking?
No; most normal people assume that refers to alcohol.

If you consume cannabis should you say "Occasionally" to Smoking?
No; most normal people assume that refers to tobacco.

If you consume or promote the consumption of cannabis does that mean that you smoke it?
No; not necessarily.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Does long distance relationship work?
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:50:52 AM

I think long distance dating is great, long distance relationships are very difficult.
+69
Relocation has to be on the table at some point.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
need some input
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:22:07 AM
Maybe put a shirt on.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is there anything WRONG with my profile? (men/women)
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:14:54 AM
- Don't get rid of your pics. They are decent.
- Don't shorten it. If you want a date with nothing to talk about, do a 3 line profile.
- Coffee "meets" usually go absolutely nowhere. Plan a date that will at least give you the opportunity for 3-4 hours of talking. If you do coffee, make it by a park or a mall where you have other opportunities to extend it.
- Add "420" to your Interests. It's searchable and there are some people who will search for it. Change "Drugs" to "socially".
- "Smoking" applies to tobacco.


(What the crap? While typing this, I got whatever a "flirt" is.... strange.)
No, it's not. The more often you login and the longer you are logged in, the more exposure you get.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Review Request.
Posted: 3/16/2013 5:57:10 AM
Loose the pic with the girl, or crop it all the way. It doesn't matter who it is.

Try for a total of 12 Interests.

Delete:
Hello my name's Jonny,
Unnecessary and takes up valuable real estate that appears in search results.

Delete:
If you want to know anything feel free to ask me! i'm a open book kind of guy.
Send me a message and say hi. xx
It's perceived by many as lazy, needy and demanding. They know what to do.

Delete:
Not the cinema...no talking is awkward!
While true, it's negative and unnecessary.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
3 questions
Posted: 3/16/2013 5:41:18 AM
1) That may be "too much" for some, but you haven't gone as "over the top" with it as some do.
2) I'd say above average.
3) Yes; but there's always room for improvement.
4) Just like with the cuddling, that's dangerous territory for profile content. You will definitely loose some with it. The majority of my first dates (meets) are my place/her place dates, but I don't mention that in my profile. That comes with discussion and building a comfort level.

The above post is an example of what you need to be aware of. Some will assume that with "cuddling" or a "my place" date that you are just looking for a hook-up. Your profile is not clear either one way or the other. Are you looking for a real relationship with someone and you see cuddling as a big part of that? Or, are you willing to cuddle with almost anyone anytime?

The line about "even if they aren't interested in you" makes you look desperate, needy and puts your motives in question.

If you are serious about this, then get more serious about your profile. More interests, a better description of what type of "relationship" you are looking for. More "personality" for them to connect with. More text and completing the first date.

The first 31 words appear in search results and are critical.

Be positive and upbeat, genuine and sincere, show self esteem and self confidence. What works is being different, standing out from the crowd. Good/great profiles have "personality"!!!

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
HELP!
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:24:57 PM
Contact your local police department.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Would my profile scare you off?
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:09:13 PM
A single indoor pic in a t-shirt doesn't cut it. 5-6 pics, outdoors with teeth. Women will connect with your eyes and smile.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Do some guys tend to even read a woman's profile on POF?
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:41:25 PM

Sadly, as I began responding to ads and receiving no responses and understanding that this is more of an ego boosting tool for women and not a dating site,...
We all need to remember that most womens profiles are complete BS, as are many men's. Now there are some people who are keeping it real like myself honestly, and its for these reasons. My profile does comtain real stuff because I have nothing to be insecure about.
In my mind I am attractive and judging by my pay and career options, am successful so realistically, I am a catch and any women who has me in her life will notice their position in life getting better

LOL. That's your problem, ATTITUDE.
You think it's about looks, income and status? You have no idea what women are looking for.
Self esteem and self confidence are attractive, but arrogance isn't.
It's your personality that most women will relate to.
You're an expert on this site after a week and how many dates?
You should listen more and talk less.

Yes; real people who are serious about dating and relationships DO read profiles. They also receive messages, get their messages answered, and get plenty of dates from POF.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Can I have your number?
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:26:51 PM

Can I have your number?
No.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Scamming
Posted: 3/15/2013 7:20:46 PM
The Moderator was referring to Msg #3.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Lots of views, no messages...Profile help please!
Posted: 3/15/2013 6:58:20 PM
Try for a more creative Headline.

(Don't make up Interests that you don't have.)

The first 31 words appear in search results and are critical. Don't repeat stuff like your age and profession.

Be positive and upbeat, genuine and sincere, show self esteem and self confidence. What works is being different, standing out from the crowd. Good/great profiles have "personality"!!!

Complete the first Date section.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Feedback Requested and Appreciated!
Posted: 3/15/2013 5:45:32 PM
"Isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of comitment" + "Friends"= sex/hook-up. State your ultimate goal.

All new pics.

Some guidelines on pics:
Pics need to show a variety of clothes, settings and activities, with a SMILE!
Self cell/webcam pics are always bad.

Avoid all of the following: Sunglasses, hats, kids, wedding rings, your tongue and middle finger, members of target sex (even if it is your sibling), dead animals/fish, guns, bare torso pics (prohibited), sleeveless shirts, more than one with alcohol, your friends or party scenes (if any), cluttered backgrounds and the bathroom mirror.

Get outdoors! If you have a motorcycle or a dog, do a pic with them (not of them)! Travel pics, outdoor and activity pics are great, as long as you didn't try to crop your ex out. You need at least one full-height pic showing your body type. The pics should be good quality, good lighting, have a clear image of your face including your EYES and a SMILE!

Each pic should have a creative caption, at least one of which should have a date. Try to get 3 good (head and shoulders) primary pics. Rotate the primary once a week. Use Viewed Me to track effectiveness. If anyone tells you to "use this one, not that one", all that means is that it should be one of your primary pics. Different pics will appeal to different people. Rotate them, and did I say: SMILE!

So, you say that you don't have any good pics, and don't have anyone to take them for you. Hire a professional photographer if you can, if not: Get out your camera or clean your cell phone lens, go out in public and ask someone to help. The cutie down the hall, the Barista at Starbucks, the lady walking her dog in the park, the guy shooting pool at the bar. Anyone. People like helping other people. You might even get a date!

Delete "foreplay" and "video games" from your Interests, and if I'm "reading" you right, consider adding "spirituality".

The first paragraph is loaded with deal breakers, negativity and indecision. The older women reference will put off the younger; the "friends/relationship" makes you appear as desperate and indecisive; the "girl/woman" will likewise put off many, just for the attitude as much as which they identify with.

Delete the last paragraph, they know what to do.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Why don't cool, nice looking guys message me?
Posted: 3/15/2013 5:18:14 PM

"For some reason, Zaxx is convinced that I am ashamed of my age"
Actually 3/4 men mentioned it in this thread, so....
Just keeping things accurate.
So, prior to that post, I beleive that 10 men have posted. Which are the ones who comprise the 75% that you talk about in your post, in which posts?

(shakes f-ing head)

OP: You do not have age (or weight) "issues'. Someone else does.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Headshot deleted?
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:15:42 PM
It could also have been another image that had received multiple reports. My understanding is that the automated reporting system deletes the primary photo, regardless of which photo may have been reported by multiple users. I don't personally/currently see any that would be considered violations, although the face paint photo might be considered by some to be.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Profile testimony trouble.
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:08:42 PM
Something is up. I've had two on mine for weeks. They were there a half hour ago, and are now gone. Likely some kind of software changes in progress.
Give it a day and see what happens.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Removing a sent ‘gift’ from profile
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:57:15 PM

have no idea from whom and when it was received.
It would have been received with a POF message.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile testimony trouble.
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:54:06 PM
Signed in or signed out, I don't see it.

Are they still on your Favorites List?
Maybe they deleted it.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Hopeless :D
Posted: 3/15/2013 11:31:00 AM
Long is fine when the text is positive, upbeat, creative and a compelling read. Short gets you more first dates, long gets you more second dates and LTR's. Short is fine for a "hook-up", long is best for an LTR. The more content to connect with, the more conversation points you have. If you want a first date with nothing to talk about, do a 3 line profile and find someone else with one. Odds are you won't have much in common.

With each item you add you risk turning off some. With each negative statement you turn off even more.

People looking for a hook-up and people of lower intelligence or less complex individuals are turned off by long profiles. People with longer profiles and those who respond well to longer profiles are generally more serious and/or more intelligent.

Added detail almost always means fewer replies. It doesn't necessarily mean fewer dates, and definitely doesn't mean fewer LTR's.
Short=quantity.
Long=quality.

So, the questions are: What are you looking for? Which type of person are you and which type are you looking for?

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 8 (view)
 
profile review
Posted: 3/15/2013 10:42:26 AM

Wow, I never noticed that about the caps; thanks for pointing it out. Wonder why it does that?
It's the result of a site software/programming change that happened about 4 months ago. For the first several weeks it just applied when viewing your own profile, but not when others viewed your profile. Then it started showing when others viewed it as well. It's been reported numerous times and posted about in the Help forum. The more users that e-mail csr@pof.com about it, the more likely that they may correct it.

It's POF-ed up.
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 6 (view)
 
profile review
Posted: 3/15/2013 10:15:25 AM
All your pics are poor quality.

Some guidelines on pics:
Pics need to show a variety of clothes, settings and activities, with a SMILE!
Self cell/webcam pics are always bad.

Avoid all of the following: Sunglasses, hats, kids, wedding rings, your tongue and middle finger, members of target sex (even if it is your sibling), dead animals/fish, guns, bare torso pics (prohibited), sleeveless shirts, more than one with alcohol, your friends or party scenes (if any), cluttered backgrounds and the bathroom mirror.

Get outdoors! If you have a motorcycle or a dog, do a pic with them (not of them)! Travel pics, outdoor and activity pics are great, as long as you didn't try to crop your ex out. You need at least one full-height pic showing your body type. The pics should be good quality, good lighting, have a clear image of your face including your EYES and a SMILE!

Each pic should have a creative caption, at least one of which should have a date. Try to get 3 good (head and shoulders) primary pics. Rotate the primary once a week. Use Viewed Me to track effectiveness. If anyone tells you to "use this one, not that one", all that means is that it should be one of your primary pics. Different pics will appeal to different people. Rotate them, and did I say: SMILE!

So, you say that you don't have any good pics, and don't have anyone to take them for you. Hire a professional photographer if you can, if not: Get out your camera or clean your cell phone lens, go out in public and ask someone to help. The cutie down the hall, the Barista at Starbucks, the lady walking her dog in the park, the guy shooting pool at the bar. Anyone. People like helping other people. You might even get a date!

Delete the last paragraph.

"mandatory" is EXTREMELY demanding, loose it.

Keep Fishing!
 ^campfires^
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Profile review needed please.
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:30:54 AM

Also, the 'best prospects' (not sure if I have the terminology correct?) does confuse me a bit. If someone is in my top ten of that list, am I in theirs?
No. Each menu item uses proprietary matching routines which take into account all kinds of things you might never anticipate. Some are POF-ed up, and the results may be sketchy.
Just try them all and see what you get. Advanced search is your best friend.
 
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