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Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Learning to let go. Posted: 7/28/2009 2:30:24 AM
Well, it has been a long time since I started a thread. The last one was called Oblivious and Blind, and thanks to alot of good advice, I wasn't so oblivious or blind anymore. However, I now have a new issue, one that seems to be alot harder to get past than the first. I have been single for over three years now, three very long and lonely years. Ok, I know I am young, there is plenty of time and so on and so forth as all my friends tell me, but I would still rather be in a relationship either way. The problem is, everytime I meet a guy I like and have a strong interest in, something inside just freaks out, locks the doors emotionally and throws the key away? I don't think I consciously decide to do this, but it just keeps happening. I know that I want a relationship and would love to find someone I could have a good one with, so why is it each time I find someone who seems compatible and a nice guy, I become detatched or distant? At times I think it is because a part of me hasn't learnt to let go of past heart break, or something along those lines, but when I look back at my last relationship? All I can think is...."Well that was a waste of a year of my life" and how it wasn't my fault that the whole thing came crashing down. So, is it past relationships that is holding me back? Trust issues? ...Or am I just emotionally..broken? ( lol ) So I need advice and/or suggestions on what it is, or what I can do to change it? If you have any experience with this sort of thing in your own life, please feel free to share. Thanks.

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Posted: 6/20/2008 4:47:33 AM
I suppose since none of my friends have yet conquered this, it makes it a talent pour moi ( for me. ) I have this ability - only when I am extremely bored or trying to make others laugh and cheer up, to "eyebrow"dance..yes, I can move each eyebrow seperately, and even carry basic drum beats. Hurrah for the amazing eyebrow dance!

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

creepd out the second you meet him Posted: 6/20/2008 4:26:48 AM
I havent had many "Ewwww" moments, tons of awkward ones, but only one very "ew" one comes to mind. I had a guy pick me up at my house once, he showed up with flowers and all (Even though I have a strong disliking of flowers, I took them politely.) He seemed nice, not to bad on the eyes, but not like his pictures either. (Girls watch out for those fuzzy profile pictures lol.) Everything was good until we got to dinner and his conversations were definately not things you discuss on a first date or at the dinner table. His table manners were horrible and I can't stand people chewing with their mouth open. With every perverse question he asked, he would slip in a cheesey compliment which made me just as uncomfortable as the questions. Luckily enough, a few friends of mine was at the same restaurant and I casually slipped away from the table with my drink, left money on the table to pay for my drinks and meal and went to sit with my friends.

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

How come Tattoo people get nasty when others say they do not like tattoos? Posted: 6/18/2008 4:23:08 AM
I myself have 9 tattoos, and I must say...yes..alot of people with tattoos do get rather defensive and sometimes to the point of being rude. However, I myself barely ever get to the point of rude. I do have a few issues with people who stereotype people with tattoos without truely knowing the story behind the ink. Sure there are people that have tattoos that give the rest of us bad names because they were pointless doodlings they got just because the could get a tattoo. (Trust me I know, been there, done that.) But to be honest, if someone doesnt care for tattoos, that is fine with me, to each their own. No need for people without tattoos to get nasty towards those of us who do, and vice versa.

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 117 (view)

Tattoo's Posted: 6/18/2008 3:49:05 AM
I currently have 9 tattoos. I started my inking at the age of 16 and like alot of people I regret my first tattoo. It really had no meaning, it was just because I could get a tattoo that I did. However since then, I have put alot more time and thought into each tattoo and have dedicated myself to a full backpiece at the moment, which covers up that mistake tattoo. I have read alot of posts from guys who say tattoos on woman arn't sexy, and I am sure there are woman who don't like tattoos on guys, but if a person is getting a tattoo to impress others, or not get one because others dont like them, then they are definately not in the right state of mind to get inked. Another thing I don't understand is the "tramp stamp" as people like to call it. It is a very judgemental topic to say that if a woman gets a tattoo across her lower back above her buttocks she is a tramp or a slut or any of those names. It doesn't mean that a woman is permiscuous, however it does mean she has confidence and to get a tattoo in the first place puts you out of the "normal" catagory of society. Just remember, if you are going to get a tattoo, do it for the right reasons, do it because it truely means something to you, not because its pretty or cool and do it for you, not what others think about it. Good luck Inkaholics!!

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Oblivious and Blind Posted: 4/15/2008 10:19:12 PM
Update!!!! Alright, I have done my best to just blow this guy off, and so far..so good. He wanted to hang out with me on my birthday and give me some "birthday fun" now as tempting as it sounded, I came back to this little thread, read all the advice on how dumb I was being and told him I had other plans. And as was stated..he pulled out the "big guns" and started on about feelings and how he missed me...and instead of falling head over heels like I always did...I laughed... I wont deny that part of me does still want to see him, but I am slowly and surely moving on to better things/people. Hurrah!

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Oblivious and Blind Posted: 3/14/2008 10:29:42 AM
Welll...... I hate to state the obvious... SPUNKY is a nice way of calling you a slut... lol well at the point and time that he called me spunky, it was more of a personality thing, not calling me a slut. I was still a virgin when that happened, as was he lol.

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Oblivious and Blind Posted: 3/13/2008 6:06:15 PM
So heres my good news update. This boy I have been talking about talked to me today and said he wanted to hang out. I suggested we go for dinner or a walk or to a movie, something public where we would actually be hanging out, not fooling around. He told me he would rather just stay at my place, curl up and watch a movie...HA! I have heard that one enough to know that isnt what he wants. So taking the advice given and not wanting to be a doormat anymore, I told him that wouldn't be appropriate as I am seeing someone (little white lie lol) and no longer care for him in that way. Sure, feelings still linger, but I am really looking to find someone new and someone who actually cares about my feelings. So he didn't want to hang out after all...

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Oblivious and Blind Posted: 3/12/2008 3:59:10 PM
I have to say, all the responses I got were taken to heart. You're all right, I pretty much wrote out that I KNOW what it is, I just..have issues getting it into my head. I will though. It makes me laugh "the burger and the fries." I dont want to be the side order of fries anymore, Im the burger! lol. Thank you very much for the advice, and I am pretty sure I can do better, no..wait..Im POSITIVE I can do better. =) To those who asked, why I allow myself to be that girl on the side, I don't know exactly why. I suppose when you have been stepped on by people now and then, you sort of start to think in your mind that its better then no companionship at all. However I will testify that in no way, shape or form is that true. It is better to be alone then be used.

Beautiful_Agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Oblivious and Blind Posted: 3/12/2008 11:05:51 AM
Ok, so here is my little tale. (Feel free to give me advice.) I have known this guy for at least 6-7 years already, and we dated for a short period when I first met him. We broke up for reasons I still don't understand, but I do remember the excuse he gave me was I was too "spunky." Make any sense? No. So, since we broke up we have still remained really good friends, and he has dated other girls. No matter what girl he dates or how long he is with them, I still get his attention both sexually and companionship wise. I am still hung up on this guy and could smack myself for being this way. I was away for six months in the Yukon and he would constantly say he missed me and I should come back. Well I did (no not for him, I am not THAT dumb.) He had a girlfriend at the time and when I got back I phoned him and the first thing he said was he was breaking up with his girlfriend. I suppose my brain went into overdrive thinking, maybe he wants me back. We got together the day after I got back to Ontario and had a good deal of "fun" but just like he used to he left right after. Talk about confusion... I talk to him online, but he hasn't had "time" to come see me. Sometimes I think he still really has feelings for me, other times I swear he is just playing off the feelings he knows I have for him. When he is in a relationship, I always take the roll of the girl on the side. I guess it is just a sexual thing with him..but I don't know....Any advice?

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Incorrect Lyrics! Posted: 5/30/2007 6:17:55 AM
This one is pretty lame, but when listening to "Takin' Care of Business", I often hear "baking carrot biscuits". This one is pretty lame, but when listening to "Takin' Care of Business", I often hear "baking carrot biscuits". Ahh, so I am not the only one that hears that lol, either baking carrot biscuits or bacon carrot biscuits lol. I remembered another one, theres this tune I hear every once in awhile and it says "Big old jet liner" ...well don't ask me how, but somehow I always sung "Big ol chad and lilo"...Who the heck are chad and lilo? lol

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Funny Things To Do in An Elevator Posted: 5/28/2007 5:47:22 PM
Greatest moment of my life in an elevator... Okay, so my friend and I decided to buy halloween costumes in June...I got a crazy ass straight jacket and she got a little kid outfit...now my friend is 17 but she has the body and voice of a 10 year old kid. So there are two glass elevators beside each other, we both get in one and can cleary see each other from where we are as we go up and down. I sat down in the corner, in my straight jacket and proceeded to give my greatest drama act. As people got on the elevator I would start to flip out and bounce around in my corner screaming "Floor 13, floor 13 I must go to floor 13. Psyche ward! Psyche ward!!" I think I really scared people.. So my friend in the other elevator took her approach, standing by the buttons she actually cried and kept running her fingers over the buttons as people came on. They would ask what was wrong and she would reply with something like "I lost my way, my mommy told me to meet her on the 13th floor..but...I cant fiiiiind it!!!" Well people were so confused/afraid of us that eventually people stopped getting on the elevators (we spent at least 4/5 hours doing this) and cops came to escort us off after awhile... Best wasted time of my LIFE!!

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex? Posted: 5/28/2007 5:35:24 PM
"That Noise" Ahh yes, girls we all know THAT noise, the one you just can't stop from happening and part of you wants to laugh and part of you wants to die the first time it happens. Well my ex and I were going at it pretty good, and doggy is my favorite position..which I didnt know until now that "that noise" happens the most in that position. So, we are going at it and I lifted myself up onto my arms so I could turn and look at him, well wouldnt you know it, the room fell silent at the PERFECT timing for that noise to be heard. Well I started to blush and buried my face in the pillow and tried to pull away. He pulled me back so that the noise happened yet again and said "No no don't pull away..I want to see if I can get a different tone." ... I swear I wanted to smack him at that moment in time, but we kept going and after a few seconds I was back in my state of ecstacy and I didnt care anymore. It was rather embarassing but now that I look back on it....a different tone?!?! lol Like I am a musical instrument. >.<

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

What is the Funniest or Worst Thing that happened on a First Date? Posted: 5/28/2007 5:08:51 PM
I remember one night going on a date with a guy, we decided to go and sit in a park, just to talk and get to know each other. I was sitting on a tire swing, in a skirt and short top, trying to look my best for him, you know how it is girls, one minute you look great and the next its ruined. Well, I sat on the tire swing and I don't know how but one of the chains came apart and I leaned back and flipped over the tire swing, my feet caught on the other chains and smacked my head off the ground. Now, from his perspective I suppose it was quite funny, but I was rather freaked out and decided struggling against the chains was a great idea, but it only made things worse. My skirt ended up around my chest and my back in a pile of mud before he decided to help me get out of my little tire swing death trap. He was trying not to laugh, but withina couple minutes we were both in a fit of giggles. All I can say is...things happen..better to laugh with someone then to be laughed at.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Incorrect Lyrics! Posted: 5/28/2007 5:00:28 PM
Okay now, in order to find this funny you have to know the story behind it. For the last couple years of my life I have been a huge fan of Marilyn Manson..now when I first started listening to him I didnt know the title of the song "The Beautiful People" or else I would have gotten it right..I heard it on the radio one night in the car with my dad and confidently started to sing along..lone behold my father had to pull over the car to laugh at me (Im wearing a Manson shirt and a Manson belt at the time) and asked what I had just sung...to which I responded "The beautiful meatball, the beautiful..meat..ball" >.< haha...smooth. Heres one more good one, I believe it is an Ozzy song..not sure...the correct lyrics are "treating people just like pawns in chess" but to this day my uncle still swears its "treating people just like folding chairs" ...Rock on uncle!! Haha

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

what did you do following a break up? Posted: 5/27/2007 11:38:25 PM
mmmmk, Major breakup #1, I did the hair thing, I had been growing it nice and long because he liked it, but then we broke up and I went EXTREME with my hair not just to spite him, but because I wanted to. Shaved my hair into a mohawk, and then after that shaved my hair into a chelsea so I was like 90% bald. It was awesome :) Major breakup #2, Plain and simple...I found a hot rebound guy and had a couple nights of great fun. Ahhh sexual relief lol!

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 10:59:19 PM
He has been back at base for about two months now, and no he hasnt come to see me. But half that time we weren't talking. Thank you sobeit19 for your opinion. I did that, no contact and he was the one to start talking first. Which is a good sign I hope?

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 10:47:01 PM
See me when he was here? When he had his vacation time (which was only a week then) he didnt see me no. He had to see his family and take care of things and such, he didnt break it off with me, just took a break in my opinion. We are just friends at the moment, he is at base and I am at home, about 6 hours apart.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 10:37:15 PM
I seem to be pretty..gutless when it comes to asking him that. I WANT to ask him, but part of me is afraid to do it because I dread the answer...I will if I have to, but right now things seem okay. We talk and are just friends for now..but when the time comes, if it does...well then I will ask

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 10:27:57 PM
Thank you all for your opinions. Yes, I was clingy, yes I need to sit back and evaluate things, but he isn't giving me any clear signs to say "I dont love you anymore" or anything to tell me to hold on. I feel bad because of my clinginess, but at the same time I don't. If he loved me..he would WANT to see me. Wouldn't he?

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Why Do women dump men who are nice to them. Posted: 5/27/2007 9:43:58 PM
To me it's not that the nice guys don't interest me, but I do agree with some of the posts here saying that there was no physical attraction. In my opinion and from experience, guys being very nice and very romantic is always a nice thing, but the times I did go for that stuff, well I ended up with a broken heart and finding things were too good to be true. Nice guys are great, make good long lasting relationships as long as you have that attraction to them, but sometimes it does become very overwelming. I appreciate guys doing nice things for me, but in some ways it makes me feel alittle awkward. I don't know..just my opinion.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 9:37:08 PM
I guess I knew from the beginning that the army was going to be a hard thing to deal with, but when you love someone it doesnt matter what they do for a profession. I know he needs time to readjust, but I think I wanted him to tell me that, just to say "babe, I still love you, but I need time" instead of expecting me to know and just pushing me aside. Its funny how I could stick by him when he was overseas and go months without hearing from him, but when he came home and I didnt hear from him for a few days, it broke my heart to think he was close enough to touch, but still in a sense..out of reach. Thanks for the advice bruce, I appreciate it.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Is it time to let go, or hold on? Posted: 5/27/2007 9:04:12 PM
I was told to make a new thread, and I must say that sounds like a pretty good idea. So here is my situation... My ex and I were together for approximately 9 months, 8 of those he was overseas in afghanistan (army guy.) So, things went well, when I met him I was instantly fascinated with him and he seemed to feel the same way about me. When he told me he had to go overseas I told him I would wait for him to come home, and I stuck to my word. Emailed him as often as I could and talked to him whenever he got a chance to be online over there (which wasn't often.) Things seemed fine, he didnt change and my feelings didn't change. Things seemed all fine and dandy until he came back home.. As soon as I talked to him the first time after he got back to base, I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. Being who I am and never listening to my gut, I ignored it for awhile. He had time off base, about a week I think and came down to Kitchener to see old friends and family. I completely understood that family comes first, but if you were a soldier in the army and hadn't seen your girl in at least six months, wouldn't you want to see her? Well I thought so. I called (alittle to much I must admit) and he would always be busy with family and say he would call back..surprise surprise no calls back. He would tell me he would come see me on a certain day and I would spend that day waiting for him, only to find he didn't show up. Well just before my 19th birthday I finally gave up on my hopes and called and left a message on his phone and basically ****ed him out. He talkd to me on msn a bit and I took the immature road (dumb idea, but did it out of anger) and proceeded to scream and fight, looking for answers..but all I got was the block button. A couple weeks later I emailed him and apologized for my immaturity. He unblocked me and it seemed like everything was good..alittle too good in some ways. He called me my old nickname, told me he missed me, tells me all the time he wants to come see me and that he didn't mean for things to end the way they did. Now, being a woman..I have NO idea if he is being honest or if this is just trying to get an "easy lay." I don't want to get hurt again, don't think I could handle it after this one. When you put all your love and trust into something like a guy being overseas in the army and then he comes home only to basically..forget you, you don't know what to do. I do still love him, and it seems nobody can compare to the way he has made me feel. I just don't know where to go...do I take things slow and try to get back together with him, do I rush into it and just say risk it all..or do I let go and try not to think of him? ...I really just don't know anymore. Help?

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

When an ex comes back. Posted: 5/27/2007 8:49:50 PM
Thanks for the advice...and I realized those were crappy reasons. I don't know, its just so hard to "forget" someone. Ah well, we shall see where things lead..friends, lovers, enemies..who knows.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

When an ex comes back. Posted: 5/27/2007 8:36:07 PM
Well see we broke up because he needed time to himself, time to get back into a normal lifestyle and time to relax, while I on the other hand couldn't wait to see him, hold him and be with him like old times. I was too pushy and clingy in some ways when I didnt realize he needed the time to himself. I have thought of that possibility that he just wants to get laid and thinks I am easy, but he never seemed like that type of guy, but I could be blind, who knows. I agree with the protecting my heart and that is why I am trying to take it slow, trying to ease back into things..but part of me just wants to rush back in. He didnt really "dump me" persay, we both just sort of took a break. I was angry and upset and he needed space so we stopped talking.

beautiful_agony

Joined: 4/30/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

When an ex comes back. Posted: 5/27/2007 8:09:33 PM
Well this is my first post on one of the message boards, but of all message boards, this is definately the one for me to post on. So, heres my story (need advice on this situation) My ex boyfriend and I (Trevor) were absolutely perfect for eachother, couldn't have been a better choice for us. However, Trevor is in the army and about a month after we started dating, he informed me that he would be called away on duty to Afghanistan for approximately six months. Now, when you love someone of course you are willing to wait as long as it takes for them to come home and will stand by them right? Well, I did, for seven almost eight months I waited for him to come home. Wrote emails to him everyday and talked to him when he got a chance to get online over there. He didn't seem different and we carried on through that tour very well...all went well, until he came home from war. I have been told, and can understand that war changes a person, but I didn't expect it. The first time I talked to him on the computer I knew something was wrong, he didn't call me my usual nickname or say that he had missed me, but I tried to brush that thought off, thinking it was nothing. A few days past and he told me he would be in town for awhile. I called him to see what he was doing and if he had time to come see me, not once but many times did he say on the phone "I'm busy and will call you back" ...He never called back. After about two weeks of being pushed off and left on the sidelines I called and left a message on his phone that wasnt exactly, shall we say..mature. We stopped talking, and it was apparent that both of us was quite upset. Now recently I decide to take the mature road and at least apologize to him through an email. He unblocked me on his msn and we have started to talk again. He apologized for the way things went, said he didn't want it to end, called me my old nickname, told me he missed me...and my heart broke. I know I still love him, and girls you know when you are still in love with someone its like no other guy compares..and thats my problem. I want to sort things out with him, want to be with him..but I don't know how to go about it or even if I should.. So this is why I posted in "when the ex comes back" because well..he's back and I don't know where to go with this one.

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