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 Author Thread: Is this really what the dating scene is like?
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Is this really what the dating scene is like?
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:16:39 PM

Basically, if you have multiple people "lined up", and I was one of them it would be ok with me if you went out on multiple first dates. However, beyond that initial first date of "meet and see what he's like in person" I wouldn't date a girl if she was dating someone else.

She can always tell the guys she's dating: "Jim, Robert, --whatever, insert your favorite guy name---, I would be interested in going out with you and finding out more, but there are several other guys I'm interested in, and I don't want to date multiple people at once. I did a random drawing to determine who I will be dating first" :)

I would be fine with that.
Please put me at the end of the line... :)

If she lies about other guys, and says she went shopping with her girls, that's the end.
No questions asked, no explanations necessary.
There will be plenty of opportunities for politics in the future, when the relationship is more serious. When white lies come up that early in the potential relationship, it means she's not interested enough.

Girls, seriously, you can always say: "I went out with another guy I was interested in..."
Now, if that's NOT ok with the guy, and he prefers a 100% effort on both sides, then hopefully you can see how hiding this fact is a really REALLY bad idea?


Well Telenochek...if someone is on a dating website and they talk to more than one person at a time and the initial meets seem to be going to happen at the same time I don't see that as an issue. I don't see the sense of telling everyone I'm going to go to Starbucks and meet someone for an hour.

You say you'd be at the end of the line...I'd probably say you wouldn't be there because if someone who I hadn't met told me he wasn't comfortable with me going to coffee with someone then the flags would be waving as though in a high wind. I respect what you're saying, but my opinion is that it's completely unrealistic. Once you've met and have determined there's something you want to pursue I'm 100% with you.

I agree with people who are saying that dating is dating. My parents used to date...I used to date. That meant going out with several people and letting things take their course. In this day and age we all think that dating is an extreme-you're either jumping into bed with everyone who crosses your path or you have to almost tie the knot at the outset. I think we've lost the art of seeing a few people and then when a connection is made act on it.

Agree to disagree with those I disagree with, but I don't see the harm in multiple initial meets and if both parties agree after, dating others.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Is this really what the dating scene is like?
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:11:54 PM



Well, my answer when I was told she had a few others to meet was, ``Meet me last. If you expect anything but a casual relationshp to ever be possible, it will be exclusive from the outset. If you hit it off with someone before meeting me, I won't make you feel obligated to meet me.'' That seemed to work just fine. Probably better than I would have expected.


Thanks, abelian, I've said this to a girl before too!


Well...quite frankly I wouldn't tell either I was meeting someone else. The odds certainly aren't with you wanting to see them both for a real date. Plus the fact they probably both won't want to see you. It'll narrow itself down...I'm not suggesting lining up a thousand dates, but sometimes you do meet and chat with more than 1 person online.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Too fast? and the Parents
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:15:25 AM
Fair enough...YOU may not be lying, but her daughter is and you're aware of it. Six of one and half a dozen of another.

I didn't just land on this planet...you've been dating a month and she doesn't know how old you are? As a mother that would send red flags waving in every direction to me.

If you respect this girl and both sets of parents you'll be honest now, before it turns into more lies and webs of lies. The longer you wait the harder for everyone to get past it. I don't think you should just wait it out--you are talking about this relationship as though it could be very special and hopefully long lasting so you need to start it correctly.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Too fast? and the Parents
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:05:51 AM
Well....I'm probably not going to be so nice as everyone else has been.

You're lying to her mother. No two ways about it...you're lying about your age, about your previous marriage and about a child. I have a 21 year old son and if he were to bring someone older I'd have a fit, but would adjust...if he were to bring someone older home who lied to me I would NEVER adjust.

She is 18 and has 'known' several of your friends? Ok...I know that kids are getting around a whole lot more than I ever did, but it seems odd there is a bit of sharing there. Sorry, I don't know the circumstances, but it appears she's targetting guys your age for some reason.

To me you're blaming the parents for their view affecting the two of you--I think you have issues with it yourself and you're ashamed to come forward and let people know that it is what it is.

I hope I'm wrong...I hope it all works out and you two inspire each other to achieve all the wonderful things in life, but this is not the way to start it.

Good luck...
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Why are so many in such a hurry to meet...?
Posted: 3/29/2009 12:04:15 AM

I like to meet as soon as possible. That way I "Know" it isn't my friends son .... again.


Or the married father of one of my sons friends...

I'm with everyone on meeting as soon as possible. As with most, the first year I was happy to go into the whole 'movie' scenario and build the whole thing up to the romance of the century. Now, I email a few times...insist on a few photos...few phone calls...coffee for an hour in a public place. Job's done so at that point you can email and call and bond as much as you like.

OP...everyone is different so what you want is going to be different to what I want. I understand the thoughts behind waiting and I understand the thoughts behind meeting and seeing if it's worth moving forward.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Where do you draw the line...
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:49:46 PM

OP, you don't have to have a reason to decide to not pursue a relationship with someone. Personality, attitudes, physical appearance, or even how someone looks in the moonlight are all "good enough" reasons to simply move on.


Agreed RenaissanceMan...there is no logic whatsoever. I know I've met men with opinions very different to my own and sometimes I hate it, but sometimes I love it. Same with physical attributes...prefer tall men, but married someone an inch shorter than me. The reasons are yours and no one else has to understand.

'To thine own self be true' -- the bard said it best. In your heart you know if the opinions are inflammatory or just opinions. I know people who are deeply oppossed to gay marriages, but have great friends who happen to be gay. It doesn't mean they're haters, it means there's an aspect they don't like. You have to judge what's acceptable in a partner...no one sees them the way you do.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Is this really what the dating scene is like?
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:43:04 PM
I have an opinion on several things here....

First being that maybe she didn't know this guy until they had their first meeting. She could have arranged to meet him the same time she'd arranged to meet you. Maybe she wasn't lying to you-at that point she didn't know anyone in the Army.

Second being that sometimes you may meet a couple of prospective people at the same time online. Do you only talk to one of them? Do you make that decision on who messaged you first? Do you tell them that there's someone else you're going to meet, but if there's no 'spark' then you'll look them up?
No...you talk to them on email...you carry things to a first meeting and then you decide from there. I prefer not to multiple date, but there have been times when several men interested me and I met them both...I wasn't doing anything hurtful and I wasn't being a player.

At the end of the day you can send emails and make phone calls from now till doomsday, but until you meet you have no idea if there is a true connection. She may have done nothing wrong at all...instead of confronting her maybe you should have asked her to a meal and given her some roses. Let her know you're looking for her to be exclusive and ask her what she thinks...no confronting and no accussing.

Good luck to you in love, but God bless and thank you for what you do for us all in your profession. Good luck to you when you deploy.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Exchanging phone numbers???
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:35:51 PM

Many people do NOT have a landline number. They just have a cell. The only reason why I have a landline because it is needed for my home alarm system.


In the UK most do because you need to have one for broadband and/or satellite television. It's a huge thing and all the single women I know do exactly the same thing.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Exchanging phone numbers???
Posted: 1/16/2009 10:56:14 AM
I ask a man for his landline number...biggest reason--if he gives it to me it sorts the issue of whether or not he is married. If he refuses I don't give up completely, but I look for other signs and am a little more cautious.

I very seldom give out my landline number, but don't have a real issue with my mobile. I've never had a problem with anyone either. It's common sense...you have to have a comfort level before you give it out...you need to be as confident as you can be.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Here's my address, email me and we can share pictures . .
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:03:40 AM
He's being monitored here? Who's monitoring--we are. If we don't like something that's being said we block. If we feel they're a danger or whatever we report. What on earth is the difference on a webbased email--he says things you don't like, you tell him and then you never open another email from him.

What is everyone going so postal for over this? We're all adults and when you get to the point he refuses to send a photo, even on an email address, then don't open another email from him...you have the power, not him.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 62 (view)
 
im dating, but im lonely..
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:55:54 AM
There's nothing worse than being lonely in a relationship...I agree with posters that say you need to talk...also those that say you need to find what makes you happy-completely happy. You'll never be happy waiting for him and as one said you'll be split up in a year.

Good luck to you...sometimes timing is horrible.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
call me old fashioned but please have a job
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:37:17 AM
If your profile stated you wanted a person who was employed and didn't live with parents I'd say he wasn't being honest with you...I don't view him as a positive because of that. It should have been put on the table before the meet-period. He fibbed/lied/whatever...he put you in a situation you would be uncomfortable with. There goes honorable for me.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dealing with the stigma of online dating
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:31:08 AM
No stigma being here at all...it's what you make of it. If you use it for something embarrassing then be embarrassed...if you're using it to date, socialize or meet someone special why is it any different to any other medium? Well...except you can meet people 24/7 in the comfort of your own home...doesn't sound silly at all!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Here's my address, email me and we can share pictures . .
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:08:00 AM
It's an email address...hotmail or yahoo or whatever. Set one up that's independent of the social networks so he can't find more detailed profiles. What is wrong with exchanging email addresses for any reason? I'm all for being safe, but just don't see some of the stuff everyone is so terrified of.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
The Day After the First Date
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:26:51 AM
I think it was the guy who wasn't interested and he just used OPs own 'actions' to print his get out of jail card. He basically was saying...I really don't want to see you and since it was obvious you felt about the same--see ya.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Marriage after 45
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:23:00 AM
I'm not convinced I'd get married again, but I definitely want something long term and monogamous...the eventual goal to be living together. At this stage in my life I can't say that the piece of paper makes a difference...if it were important to a partner and I wanted to be with them then I would get married-it just isn't a priority of mine.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Do men have a clue?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:07:03 AM
I'm sorry, but a man is damned if they do and damned if they don't. I personally don't want someone to just make a reservation and all the plans without any input from me...especially if we're just getting to know each other. To me, a man who is dominating everything is a huge turn off...some women want a man to do everything and some don't. Poor guys...you just can't win on this one!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
No computer? No date! .... GET WIRED.
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:04:27 AM
Lack of computer literacy doesn't bother me nearly as much as text speak or not being able to string a sentence together. I know several people who don't have computers at home...it's not a big deal. They deal with them all day and don't want to be on them at night--I'm the same way with a telephone. They use their works computer because they've been told they can...not every employer has a policy against.

I personally wouldn't meet someone who couldn't supply a photo, but one really nice man had to have his daughter do it. We're still great friends and seeing how things go.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Okay..for the women
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:47:33 AM
Attraction grows...I think that most men and women are aware of this and they do give people a chance. I like tall men, but was married to someone shorter than I am...he was a lovely man and he absolutely won me over. I have preferences, but they don't control my free will.

I agree that if there's nothing there then there's no sense carrying on, but I'd rather give a nice person a chance...I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but hope that a man would be interested enough to meet if we got along here.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Middle-Age Complacency
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:43:42 AM
I can only speak of my own friends and my own experiences...we're not remotely complacent. We actually fashioned our own 'bucket list' and attack something new every month or so. I also find that men who are sincerely looking for a long term relationship are open to do new, weird and wonderful things.

Sometimes I think people are saying I'm complacent and rigid because I won't 'settle'. I'm quite happy to compromise and negotiate with a partner, but I'm not going to settle for a partner that doesn't cause some sort of flutter...I don't expect the butterflies and feelings of a teenager, but I want to look forward to seeing him...I want to smile when he touches my hand. I want to go to bed at night and think of him, then think of him first thing when I wake up. If I can't find that I'll be alone...I won't settle for less.

I know there are complacent people out there, but they are at every single age. This isn't something that is age specific...I have a 19 year old son and some of his friends are more complacent than I would ever want to be at any point in my life.

My 2p...
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Christmas Traditions
Posted: 12/26/2008 5:56:30 AM
Christmas breakfast-men cook!! It's just my son and I now, but we still held to it. I did help a little...in self defense!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
something wrong here?
Posted: 12/26/2008 5:54:41 AM
Agree with kerri--you're a fwb and you're going to come out of this in pain!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How do you get over a crush?
Posted: 12/26/2008 3:12:12 AM
I agree mikesignify30--if you start with friends you pretty much have it set in stone how it'll proceed...I know that's not 100% the case, but seems to be more often than not the case!

The same goes for meeting someone with the intention of spending time leading to a relationship...I find I don't want to become friends.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
The art of conversation...
Posted: 12/26/2008 2:50:12 AM
That's why you go from messages to email to phone...by then you have a good idea of their conversational skills. The first meet is short and hopefully a reflection of the person you've been speaking with...if you jump right into dating then you end up going out with someone you don't have a clue about. I don't want to wait forever, but I also don't want to get stuck with someone who'll bore or irritate me!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to kill desperation?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:27:22 AM
I hate to say it, but if you're trying to appear as though you're not desparate then you need to do something with your profile. I know it can be soooo frustrating on here. I know you sometimes feel like you're banging your head off the wall, but you can't have a profile like that. What if someone looked at your profile cause they thought you were cute--it'd send them packing in seconds. Just my opinion on that one...

The next thing...if you do find someone you can't be desparate either...don't smother...don't be too clingy and needy. Relax and let it happen...you're only 21...it'll happen. Enjoy everything in your life...enjoy being single and have adventures. When you're married and have kids you can tell them all of the fabulous things you did before you and 'mom' were married. Live life...don't let it pass by because you think it isn't perfect.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How do you get over a crush?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:21:55 AM
Agreed cheekychick...if you don't want to be like her big brother then don't be. If you want to have a romantic relationship with her then do it. If she still isn't interested then you know you've tried everything. Act as you want to be treated...

Good luck!!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Is this considered being shallow??
Posted: 12/22/2008 10:40:43 AM
In a thread from November you made comment on 'your gf of 5 years and the mother of your child'...now she's expecting. I can but assume it's the same gf, but it may not be.

What does she bring to the table...probably no less than you actually. You're on here slagging her off and evidently playing at being in a long term committed relationship. With that said...no, you're not being shallow. You are, however, being immature and irresponsible...I think she should ditch you and get on with her life.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Would you ever date anyone from the States??
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:30:26 PM
I'm from the States and met a British man...moved here 8 years ago. We dated for 2 years and ended up married...for many reasons it didn't work, but nothing to do with the differences in in countries or such.

I'd do it for sure.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How do YOU hit on a man?
Posted: 11/22/2008 12:21:22 PM
I can do aching, throbbing and pulsating about a toothache...is that innocent enough?

Just kidding...I can see where those words and the right tone etc would get someone's attention completely. Is it a good sign if his jaw hits the floor?
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How do YOU hit on a man?
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:44:45 AM
Since I never seem to get out of my house and to a social setting to meet real men...I just look at their profile 30 of 40 times and figure it's a bit like casually walking by to catch their eye.

In case you're wondering--I am just kidding about the profile hits!!

How do I hit on them? If I could find one I'd hit on him!!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Hopes up then knocked down?
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:42:27 AM
Sad part is it's 100% true...I won't even go into the 59 year old with the magical mirror that tells him he looks 39-no I'm not joking-it told him daily how young he looked...see...sense of humor--it's a must...xx
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 76 (view)
 
The Best Way to Tell Someone You Do Not Like Him Romantically But Still Stay Friends???
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:43:42 AM
If it's someone you meet on here then you'll probably never truly be friends--well...in my case anyway. I'm on here looking for dating and eventually long term...I have loads of friends so don't really expect anyone I meet here to become one. If it ever happened that would be great...I just don't expect it and have never had it work that way.

I don't think, as a rule, that men and women are really suited to be friends long term. It seems that it always turns to more on one side or the other. My experience and opinion only--it is not the opinion of this channel....
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Hopes up then knocked down?
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:39:57 AM
I agree with Carolann...I don't even call the first meeting a date. You still don't know if you have a spark...it can't be a date. You're still checking each other out--it's a meet and maybe, just maybe, it might lead to a real date.

There should be no pressure on a meet...unfortunately odds are that it won't lead to anything so you kind of have to expect it. When one does lead to more it makes it that much sweeter.

Don't give up...keep your sense of humor...always look at a meet as a chance to get out, meet someone different, and accumulate more war stories. A friend of mine went out with a karaoke king on Tuesday and a 47 year old Goth a few weeks ago...I went out with a 30 year old crossdresser and a 51 year old who had never lived away from his mum or driven a car. Can hardly wait to see what December brings!!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Indifference..
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:00:31 AM
Well OP...I think you've struck on something here. I'm a bit the same...I find that internet dating is sapping the life out of me. It's harder to go on than it is to just not care. It's so sickening going day in and day out investing time and energy in getting to know someone a little and then when you meet in a week or so there's nothing there. I know some people meet immediately, but I won't--personal safety and weeding out morons--I've tried meeting right off and those were the few times I didn't feel safe.

I just try to force myself to be part of it...the forum helps. I also take different classes and am doing a few different things in real life...it's not making much of a difference--I still don't care. One of my friends keeps saying that once you meet 'the one' all of the searching and energy will be worth it. I think she's full of it....but I keep trying....
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Dating your father
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:51:33 AM
Not me...saw the way he treated my mother...no way would I have anything to do with a man like that. Instead I picked an alcoholic...Dad was never one of those!!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Settling
Posted: 11/22/2008 9:48:03 AM
My friend and I had this conversation this morning. The holidays are coming and that means there is an increase in the number of 'lonely moments' we have. That brought us to talking about men we'd met on here...ones that we had and had not met in real life...and whether or not we were being too fussy. We just kept saying-it shouldn't be this hard. Sadly to say it is...neither of us will 'settle'. It's so much harder to be alone in a relationship than out of one...I'd never put myself in that situation again.

I'll be flirting with the waiter in another 34 years it seems, but I won't settle and I won't be settled for.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Does cyber sex count as cheating?
Posted: 11/16/2008 1:09:05 AM

Look, there are something that i don't think your partner needs to know in a relationship...like that you masturbate or look at porno or whatever..sometimes a person will masturbate because they feel horny and their partner is not available..or look at porn because they are not available..that is better than ****ing a human being no?..It's ridiculous that so many people think that masturbation and looking at porn even while in a relationship is a bad thing. there are some things i don't need to know in a relationship..now if i am not pleasing my partner sexually then i would want her to tell me so we can work on that..

now is cyber sex cheating? well in this case it would seem like he wants to get off from other chicks..and maybe he is not satisfied with you..i could easily see how one would consider this to be cheating..hmm i dunno if its cheating..maybe it is..yeah it sounds like cheating to me based on the information we have here....


Porno and masturbation are things that can be part of a healthy sex life...if you and your partner are happy to add cyber sex to the list of things to do then fair dues. If it makes one partner uncomfortable then it is cheating.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 62 (view)
 
How bad would it be really...
Posted: 11/15/2008 9:56:56 AM
There are a myriad of strings attached to this one and they are all dangerous. I can't add anything more than anyone else has...just be careful...if you want a one night stand get someone anonymous. Stay away from this girl...put the ego aside. Go with your pride instead.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Woman's nails
Posted: 11/15/2008 9:03:29 AM
I must be the exception to the rule...I don't care for long fingernails. Acrylic nails look fake...sorry. I had them done once and when I had them taken off a few months later my own nails were like those of a baby...they just fell away when they brushed up against something...I didn't particularly like the look or feel of them and when that happened it kind of made my mind up for me.

Glad you all (most anyway) enjoy long nails, but mine aren't strong enough to grow and keep all 10 at 1 time and I won't do the acrylic thing again...I'll keep with my just over the nail bed nails. Comfy, natural and I'd rather keep the money and book a trip to Edinburgh for a weekend!!
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Are Brand's and Ross's apology over obscene phone calls enough?
Posted: 10/30/2008 10:19:13 PM
I'm disappointed in Ross and my disgust and dislike for Brand are once again reaffirmed.

Several comments have been made about the granddaughter and how she dresses and what she does for a living somehow making it ok to be the subject of the calls. If we judge whether or not she was 'deserving' of being the the subject then we need to start looking at rape victims and seeing if they were 'deserving' of being raped.

No matter your thoughts on the granddaughter-what did Sachs do to deserve such treatment?

Half the population thinks it's funny and ok for this behavior and we seriously ask ourselves why we have so many social problems?
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Couple jailed for having sex.
Posted: 10/20/2008 1:53:22 PM

I dont know, maybe i have the wrong attitude here but there are real criminals out there commiting murder, cruelty, drug offences, politicians allowing genocide, starvation, death to innocent people due to their own greed and selfishness. There are people carrying guns, rape, people being the victim of theift when they hardly have anything anyway, there are children living down sewers in fear of being shot in some countries and two people are jailed for having sex, a right given to us by nature itself, causing no harm to anyone. I just dont get it. Im assuming the sex was between two consenting human adults?

Wheres the crime in that, who are they hurting? Let them go, no one should dictate to us such nonesense and force their religious beliefs on anyone else cause at the end of the day thats all it is, forcing religion on people. No different to back in medievil times when i would have been burnt alive for my beliefs even though i live by the rule of harm it none.

Everyone seems to be going on about having respect for the laws of the country, what about the laws of the country having respect for people who do not share the religious views of the law makers of that country.


Funny...I don't know as I ever hear about appalling crimes being an issue in Dubai. Maybe it's because they have a moral code and laws that tend to go to the malum in se.

Of course, you have the pedophile who would agree with you...why not leave me alone. That little boy didn't mind me touching him...can't believe this society won't let us do what we want when we want....

Most laws are a moral code...morals are different person to person. If a law is in place it should be enforced and people should not be allowed to escape it because of innocence or the lax attitude of the same laws anywhere else in the world.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Couple jailed for having sex.
Posted: 10/19/2008 3:33:25 AM
I would say that the time and place, being in a country where it's illegal, were wrong.

Your faith may allow you to drive a car at 100 mph, but does that mean you have the right to come onto our motorways and do it? If someone's faith allows an eye for an eye does this mean they can come to England and kill someone because it's retribution?

As others have stated...when you're in another country you need to respect their culture and faith and legal system...if you don't then you must be prepared to suffer the consequences.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Other Dating Sites/ Scams ?
Posted: 10/19/2008 3:00:15 AM
I must be the exception...I normally use this site as my 'social' site (along with facebook), but use another pay site to meet people. I find men are more willing to meet and the number of married (or timewasters) is significantly lower.

I prefer the pay sites for actual dating and in the few years I've been on them I've never had a troll or ambassador or whatever they're called.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Pay more attention to profiles without photos?
Posted: 10/19/2008 2:55:47 AM
I respond to messages with no pix, but I never seek any out. I wouldn't start a conversation with a man standing in a shadow or with a bag over his head...to me that says I'm hiding something.

If someone starts a conversation I'm very cautious and looking for the 'catch'-wife, whatever. I also find that these men are less likely to ever meet--they want to be penpals forever.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Children leaving home
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:00:06 PM
My son is now 20...I look back and wish I could relive the days again, but I can't. The one thing is that I had them once. I would never send my child to boarding school...period. I know everyone is different, but that's my opinion-you can never get the time back and they need you. They need you when they get home from school and before they go to bed. They need to know you'll be waiting up to yell at them because they came in late. They need to know you'll be upset cause they drank from the milk carton or didn't leave enough petrol in the car...they'll need you to hug them for all of those things.

They need you...you need them.

I love my son and every second I spent with him was precious.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Would you nurse your cheating partner?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:40:23 AM

It's one thing to leave a cheating, lying, alcoholic husband...then you are SMART. It's another to leave a cheating, lying, alcoholic, dying husband...then you are CRUEL."


I'm sorry, but this is akin to glorifying a dead person and saying how wonderful they are...no matter what an ass they were in life. The cheating, lying, alcoholic husband was being cruel...in a horrible, humiliating calculated way--why would anyone think that type of person should be given the benefit of the doubt because they're dying or have a brain injury?
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Could you learn to be passionate about someone if there is no chemistry to start with?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:51:02 PM
No...I couldn't and I wouldn't want to. I have friends and I adore them...I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who will never be more than that...I also don't believe if there is no chemistry from the early days there will be enough to sustain throughout a relationship.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Confused: What did I do wrong?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:49:11 PM
If email is email then why didn't you simply do as he asked and send emails to the other address...I have emails delivered to my phone so if I get close enough to someone they get that address for more instant contact.

I wouldn't want to meet you without a photo either...if you're not forthcoming enough to give the guy a photo why should he arrange to meet you?

I don't understand the bit about him having a line in his profile asking you to email to the different address...I also don't understand how he can add his other email to your 'kicked to the curb email' if he's not reading your emails.

I don't know if he's as bad as everyone is assuming he is...you're not either, but you may have to do a bit of give and take here.
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What should a woman know about a man who is from another country before they meet in person?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:20:46 AM
I'd want to know as much about the country and it's customs as I would the man...
 acttwo
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Male perspective wanted....
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:03:58 PM
Spot on Smiliegirl...I wasn't saying it's ok for girls as long as the guys do it. I was just curious the different perspectives...

piano4te...not a clue what you're on about.

Someone said something about red flags being raised if you can't meet right off---if you live 300 miles away and happen to meet online at a point that it's just not possible to meet then you can't change it, even if you'd dearly like to. Not every delay is something worthy of a red flag...if you bring up the career and time issue--I have no issue with it because if it's something that can turn into a relationship I have a career that can go anywhere.
 
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