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 Author Thread: Toilet Rules
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Toilet Rules
Posted: 11/1/2012 11:25:17 AM
Thought i would share this recent conversation i had with anybody who cares to read it!

I was having a few drinks in Newcastle bar the other weekend, and bloke drinking next to me at bar was occasionally going round the tables to bring back empty glasses, when i went to the gents i noticed he had followed me in, we stood next to each other at the urinals and when i had finished i washed my hands (as always!), he did his flies up and just walked out the gents!!. When i was back at bar he came and stood by me again after bringing back more empty glasses!, i couldnt contain myself and asked him if he was actually employed there? "Im the bar manager!" he told me, "Well why dont you wash your hands when you go to the toilet then?" i asked,....his flustered reply, after looking a bit taken aback was...." I dont need to as its my night off!!"
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Going to a POF meet alone??
Posted: 7/7/2012 8:19:23 AM
I found just taking all my clothes off before walking into POF meet worked wonders with regards to `breaking the
ice`, and meeting/talking to new people?!, i spoke to people from all walks of life?...mainly police/solicitors/judges and care workers to be honest!!.................................
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Englishman, Welshman, Irishman.
Posted: 6/27/2012 10:02:33 AM
Reminds me of joke where one of Presidential aides to George Bush tells him that 30 Brazillian soldiers have been killed in a peace keeping mission, the Presidents face goes ashen and he is obviously shocked, after he composes himself he says to his aide..............."Just exactly how many is a Brazillian?"!!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Englishman, Welshman, Irishman.
Posted: 6/25/2012 10:07:15 AM
Can we just stop this joke??...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Finnish?!!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Who do you sit next to on the bus/train?
Posted: 5/29/2012 4:23:58 AM
Slightly off topic but will plod on anyway!, until recently i used to get on 7-20am train from Billingshurst to London Victoria via Horsham, and EVERY time i got on, i would see a middle aged man with raincoat/briefcase walk `purposefully`, halfway along platform until he reached the EXACT paving stone he stood on EVERY morning!.
This meant he would be in line with carriage doors when train stopped, thats all well and fine, but then he would walk BACK along train about three or four carriages!! (i know, because i followed him once to see what on earth he was doing!), did he end up sitting next you?!!-
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
accents
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:16:21 PM
Im from Middlesbrough originally, although ive lived in Surrey/West Sussex for last three years and ive had to soften my `accent` for people to understand me!. Ive been taken for Scots/Scouse/Geordie in the past!, i dont know if it applies to other regions, but on a few occasions, ive overheard a `Teesside Twang` when out and about in the South and immediately know they are from the Middlesbrough area..you have to be from the area to recognise it, has anybody else recognised their `accent` far from home?!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
how do you cheer yourself up?
Posted: 12/22/2011 6:50:59 AM
Just thought i would give this thread a bump as i ive found something else that put a smile on my face, (made me laugh out loud actually!), try singing along to `The Court of King Caractacus` by Rolf Harris, and see what happens to your chuckle muscles!! (I must find some work to do before its time to go home! )
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Xmas thoughts
Posted: 11/29/2011 2:40:02 PM
With Xmas approaching, i asked my wife if she thought her Mother would prefer something along the lines of Riverdance or perhaps something `Fred Astaire`ish`?, she told me "Dont you go anywhere near my poor mothers grave you sick **stard!" .............................................................
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Crazy night at the bar.
Posted: 11/28/2011 1:31:05 PM
I really scared the hell out of my postwoman this morning when i went to the door totally naked,....i dont know what scared her most, the fact that i was naked or that i knew where she lived?!! ................................................................
........................................................................................................................
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Best Male/Female Vocals Nominations?
Posted: 11/24/2011 9:23:54 AM
Some good calls there Charity!, as i said earlier in the thread, i would be very happy if i could sing `Without Love` by Tom Jones as well as he sang it originally, its a fantastic performance..Im not a great fan of Elvis but i do like to sing `Way Down` when im up on karaoke!, i also like Neil Diamond and sing a lot of his songs but i wouldnt call him a great vocalist? (but thats just down to taste isnt it?)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Jeff Healey
Posted: 11/22/2011 1:52:29 AM
What fantastic and unexpected responses to my op!, thank you so much ,.... i agree with the view that his vocals were as good as his guitar playing and im pushed to think of anybody to match him for equal guitar/vocal ability?..(im sure that remark in itself will spark off debate of some form or another?!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Jeff Healey
Posted: 11/16/2011 7:33:46 PM
Can anybody out there tell me why Jeff Healey played guitar in the style he did?, (ie,on his lap), ive seen a few clips of him standing orthodox, although his hands are over top of fretboard? (is that the correct term?!). Im expecting to hear it was because of his blindness, but im not sure why that would be?... I would have loved the chance to have seen him play live, finally..did he always use only three strings on his guitar? (as i noticed in a clip on youtube)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Charlie Winston
Posted: 11/3/2011 5:37:22 PM
Had no idea who Charlie Winston was till i saw your post?, checked him out and have to agree..very good!, `Kick the Bucket` reminded me a bit of Jon Allen, have you heard of him?..have a listen to `Dead Mans Suit`, and i can imagine Charlie Winston performing it- be nice to near your thoughts if you agree? (or even disagree!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Wow, thats fantastic!
Posted: 10/20/2011 2:26:51 PM
Hows that for an eyecatching thread title?@! ..Just wanted to share with you the news that the shower gel i usually buy, now has a big sticker on it saying "NEW, NOW WASHES AWAY ODOUR CAUSING BACTERIA!..what did it do before?!, , (no wonder i stink!). What labels or adverts have you seen that made you think "Hmmm?"
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
how do you cheer yourself up?
Posted: 10/17/2011 11:44:41 AM
^^^, "Cuddle, new lipstick/knickers"...what are the odds of that?!!!..its a small world!, another thing i do to cheer myself up is to have a chat on the phone with my mates back up North to catch up with all the latest gossip etc, im still laughing at my mate telling me his Mother in law has been in a care home for a while now with dementia, i offered my sympathy and he told me its not that bad as she still sends him a birthday card with £50 in it once a week!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 57 (view)
 
My Grandad can fight YOUR Grandad!
Posted: 10/6/2011 5:04:11 PM
My grandad once told me about the time he was up a ladder in World War 2 and dropped a bomb on some blokes head!, it made all his hair fall out so he was told! (small world innit?), with reference to my other post about `what cheers you up`?, reading through some of the messages on this thread has made me laugh out loud!..(im sure theres something constructive i could be doing until i finish at 7am!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
My Grandad can fight YOUR Grandad!
Posted: 10/6/2011 4:48:33 PM
Do you know that little girl in the BBC testcard with the chalk/blackboard/clown?, well that was my OTHER Grandad!, (we dont really talk about him much!) (i had planned to see just how far back i could go through forum postings when i spotted this and thought i would give it a huge bump!, its not always this quiet on a nightshift! )
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
how do you cheer yourself up?
Posted: 10/5/2011 4:02:41 PM
Ive just added msg 30 reply (nx) to my little list of things that cheer me up!..that made me chuckle! (i like the word `chuckle`), does anybody else still say `chuckle?`, or is it just me?! , whats that advert on telly where all the baby`s /toddlers are all laughing hysterically?, that puts a BIG smile on my face and whats more infectious than hearing a baby laugh?! (please dont say herpes!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
how do you cheer yourself up?
Posted: 10/4/2011 4:25:28 PM
How do you cheer yourself up?, is there something you do, something you think about that puts a smile on your face?. My `pick me ups` at the moment are watching old Johnny Morris /Animal Magic clips on you tube (The Lazy Chimp is well worth a look to make you laugh out loud!), thoroughly recommend clips of Stuart Hall laughing uncontrollably on Its A Knockout , and i cant stop watching you tube clip `Ultimate Dog Teaser`..magical! (wish i knew how to provide links!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Fireball XL5..!
Posted: 2/28/2011 12:53:07 PM
I got a `Hectors House` dvd for my 50th!!, still makes me laugh!! , does anyone remember `The Kids From 47a`?, favourite cartoon character was/is Foghorn Leghorn.."I say,well i say boy!" , 4:20 pm on a Tuesday on ITV was always a pop show, `Lift Off` with Ayesha Brough, Get It Together, Shang a Lang, Marc, (Marc Bolan) Paul (Paul Nicholas) Supersonic etc
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Free Money?
Posted: 2/4/2011 9:01:43 PM
^^ Just had to look twice at your message as i thought you had put £50,000!!, anyway, £50 is still nice and i now feel terrible for thinking those nice newspaper people were lieing to us?:laugh. Anyway, at least thats one winner we know of, and i bet i was stood behind her in the queue when she bought that paper knowing my luck!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Still be friends
Posted: 2/4/2011 2:20:11 PM
Of course you should get in touch with him!, he may well feel that way about you also, it doesnt have to be a traumatic/emotional conversation you have with him, but at least you will both know where you stand for sure, and the worst that can happen is you wish each other good luck and maybe keep in touch with one another?!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Free Money?
Posted: 2/4/2011 1:57:38 PM
Just seen on tv, the latest ad for yet another newspaper claiming to have put thousands of pounds worth of `free money`inside their paper, call me suspicious,..but ive yet to meet/hear of ANYBODY managing to find one these banknotes?-im trusting somebody from POF must know of someone or indeed found one themselves?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Getting better with age?
Posted: 1/10/2011 4:55:44 PM
Many thanks for the varied and interesting replies to this thread so far, i think a good `yardstick` as to whether musicians get better with age must be The Rolling Stones, given their longevity?, anybody prepared to admit to seeing them play live in the early days and how they compare to now?! (when was the last time they toured?)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
POF Events
Posted: 12/9/2010 4:47:13 PM
Was just looking at some of the events listed on the `meets` board and was astounded
to see 161 members attending the Antigallican night in Charlton on the 18th?, (i didnt think i would finish scrolling to the bottom of the list?!). Is that an unusually high turnout for a meet or have there been bigger meets in the past?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Getting better with age?
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:35:46 PM
I was thinking to myself (God knows why?!), do musicians get better with age?
does it get physically more demanding to play a blistering guitar riff/marathon drum solo?..can you think of anybody that youve actually experienced becoming more skilled/proficient through listening to them over a number of years?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Freak like me
Posted: 11/12/2010 5:11:45 PM
I rememember reading an article regarding Jennifer Aniston a while ago..she too is a `toilet roll fiend`, and admitted to `putting right`, toilet rolls not hanging the correct way in friends houses/hotels etc!! ....at the end of each shift at work we have to change over the pc database tapes which are numbered, woe betide anyone not putting tapes in correct numerical order as i left them!! (does that count as freakish behaviour?)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Freak like me
Posted: 11/11/2010 4:28:47 PM
I didnt realise i was a `freak` until i read Shortstuffs post about putting your banknotes in your wallet facing the same way?, i do that!! ..cant stand badly folded newspapers either!, and toilet rolls have to be placed on holder with paper hanging in front of the roll!! (can you help me with this straightjacket please nurse?!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Blood donor sessions in prisons?
Posted: 11/8/2010 10:26:05 AM
Not been online for few days so have just noticed the last posting!, the `point` of my posting the thread, was that i `dont honestly` know whether blood donor sessions were carried out in prisons or not!, i just thought somebody in the prison /or blood transfusion service could have provided any answers?. You did mention that concerns were raised about blood reserves as far back as ...2009!, all the more reason to have a more widespread donor network to offset any future `concerns`?.
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Blood donor sessions in prisons?
Posted: 11/3/2010 10:04:33 AM
Reading the thread regarding prisoners having the right to vote
prompted me to ask, does anyone know if blood donor sessions
are held in prisons, and if not then why?. I think a scheme could
be worked out whereby prisoners giving blood are given `rewards`
etc, i feel its a `win win` situation and may help a prisoner feel he is
paying something back to society as well as the obvious benefits of
an increased supply source of vital blood reserves
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Brutally honest..
Posted: 10/8/2010 11:35:18 AM
I hate to see what starts as a good thread degenerate into a slanging match!, not taking sides with anybody here, but have to admire anybody honest enough to admit their `infidelity`?, on a forum such as this. Im not condoning their actions, but have to ask does that one case of cheating in a relationship necessarily mean they should be publicly labelled a `cheat`?. Im sure everybody posting on this forum has at one point or another told a `lie`, whether it be big or small- is that person to be labelled a `Liar` long after the event?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Glasgow girls going to Newcastle
Posted: 7/27/2010 10:26:38 AM
Quayside travelodge is not far to walk from Pitcher & Piano on the Quayside which is nice bar to start in, then just make your way along the rest of the Quayside bars until your in the vicinity of the Bigg market, you shouldnt really need a taxi unless your a pair of lazy buggers!! ..i wish i was going as i LOVE Newcastle!!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
tv licence
Posted: 7/18/2010 4:39:51 PM
While we are on the subject, does anyone know of anybody who drives a tv detector van?, has anyone actually SEEN a tv detector van?!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
School Sports?
Posted: 7/5/2010 1:27:50 PM
^^Good luck with the `kiddyfiddler` certificate!! , but i cant believe NO school football teams anymore?!, the thrill of seeing your name in the local papers sports pages if you scored a goal!!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
School Sports?
Posted: 7/5/2010 12:36:17 PM
Just listening to radio talk in about schools no longer running football teams!, is this true?, living where i now live (and kids grown up!), im bit out of touch with with the state of school sports etc, but find it sad if this is the case?!. I was football daft as a kid and have magical memories of pulling on my school football kit and wishing i could say thanks to the teachers who gave up their time all those years ago! (20? )
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
POF Tips for users from my point of view: Some Sarcastic Humor
Posted: 6/24/2010 7:09:55 AM
^^^ It is if its a man!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 51 (view)
 
How do you 'sound'..?
Posted: 6/21/2010 7:27:11 AM
Teesside accent...but have been called Geordie/Scouse/Scots!, depending where i happen to be working!.."yer jokin arnyer"?!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 104 (view)
 
The England World Cup Thread 2010
Posted: 6/21/2010 7:05:58 AM
Bloke at the bar in my local called me an `annoying sod` last night!, the cheek of it!,
i nearly choked on my Vuvuzela!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
The myth of Eastern European Girl?
Posted: 6/18/2010 3:29:21 PM
Just thought i would `bump` this thread up, to compare with the `current` "British Women" thread!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
what were you back in the day..?
Posted: 6/9/2010 4:52:53 PM
I was a right `mish mash`!, one year it was Harringtom Jacket/Two Tone Trousers/Monkey Boots, then Denim Jacket/Star Jumper/Oxford Bags/Platform Sole Boots, then satin `pop star` bomber jacket with loons and wooden beaded necklace!! (i miss the 90`s!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Anybody from Brighton?
Posted: 5/31/2010 1:46:52 PM
^^^ Im from further North than you MARTIN!, hence my asking for some help/advice regarding Brighton traffic etc!, why dont you run along and finish your airfix model now?, your comedy genius has, im sure, been greatly appreciated!..thanks to those who just offered the advice i asked for! (its called being a `normal/decent` human being Martin!..WHOOSH!)
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Anybody from Brighton?
Posted: 5/30/2010 12:15:10 PM
^^^^ Do you have any helpful info relevant to my post?...i just want to know how busy it gets when The London/Brighton car rally is held, i may decide for my party to meet up on the Saturday rather than the Sunday if its as busy as i would imagine?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Anybody from Brighton?
Posted: 5/29/2010 4:35:10 PM
Need some help/advice from any residents of Brighton if possible?,.... ive arranged for friends/family to meet up with me in Brighton on Sunday 6th June for a birthday get together-i have subsequently discovered that this is the same day as the London/Brighton car rally!, i just wanted to know how busy it gets, and if roads etc are closed off?. I was planning on everyone meeting up at the Marina for lunch and then all getting on bus down to pier/beach?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dave Edmunds
Posted: 5/24/2010 6:50:34 AM
I think it must have been my `Albert Lee` thread that prompted your posting?, it was through searching around for items for Albert Lee that led me to Dave Edmunds, i never realised he was such a good guitarist although i have some of his singles!..i dont play guitar myself but i imagine his version of `Sabre Dance` must be very hard to play, both technically and physically?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Water/Weight Conundrum?
Posted: 5/24/2010 6:41:01 AM
^^^ Are you telling us that you have weighed out food/liquids before eating/drinking them?!!!, ...you also suggest (glibly) that we merely go out and purchase scales that are sensitive enough to register the change in weight (or not?!), read my earlier post, this `conundrum` is not causing me sleepless nights nor in my constant thoughts to warrant my purchasing a set of suitably sensitive scales!!.
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Water/Weight Conundrum?
Posted: 5/23/2010 12:54:34 PM
I dont exactly lay awake at night pondering over this question!, but i thank you for your considered/reasoned and `open minded` thoughts on the matter!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Water/Weight Conundrum?
Posted: 5/21/2010 4:51:58 AM
I stated earlier in the thread that i dont know the true answer to this question, but the reason given for the seemingly " correct" answer being the persons weight remaining the same, is through the way the water is absorbed into the body?, this theory may well be `nonsense` but am not in a position to dismiss this claim scientifically!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Water/Weight Conundrum?
Posted: 5/19/2010 12:28:13 PM
Msg22 ^^, thanks for your input, can i just clarify if you are saying there is substance in the scenario of a person drinking that volume of water and their weight not increasing?
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Albert Lee
Posted: 5/19/2010 12:18:08 PM
Was having a search around youtube looking for anything on Albert Lee, and eventually by way of related links came upon vid of Dave Edmunds live in Sevila 99, playing `Sabre Dance`..wow!, not sure of the technical `brilliance` of his performance ? but fantastic none the less!
 owzabout
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Water/Weight Conundrum?
Posted: 5/8/2010 5:51:59 AM
WOW indeed!^^^, thank you for your input .dej! (im sure i mentioned it was a `hypothetical` gallon of water!...imperial weight!)
 
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