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1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 811 (view)

Women Who Smoke Posted: 11/23/2009 11:11:36 PM
Wow.. a thread from FOUR years ago. Well I dont have time to read through 4 years of mundane comments. I'll answer off the OP I had a time in my dating life where I stopped dating smokers.. you see, I happen to LIKE going south on a woman. It's better than Viagra. I mean.. putting it in my mouth is something SHE likes.. better than me waiting for this blue pill to dissolve. I can get it from her WET LIQUID Dispenser. And she LIKES giving it to me too! Well.. there was a time I was with a NON-smoker. now I had never really compared the taste of different women. There was always a lull between each one diminishing my tastebud memory. Well then came the time I call the "Overlap Period" This came about when the woman I was seeing sort of asked for a "timeout" from seeing me. During this timeout I'd start dating again. But then, woman #1 would almost SENSE the "Scent of a new woman" within my cosmic energy and pop back up for some more Viagra-drinking. Lo and behold.. I was singing that song "Torn between two lovers" and I WAS wondering what to do. But I then noticed something when they both booked a two week period of woman #1 on Friday, Woman #2 on Saturday, followed by this leap-frogging. I mean.. I had over 14 days of constant women. It was then when this phenomenom came to be understood. THE NON-SMOKER TASTED BETTER. I mean.. sweet, tasty, OMG wonderful And the smoker tasted sort of sour and toxic. I also found I slept better with the non-smoker, while the smoker's nights had me tossing and turning. It all got confirmed when they separated the daily into monthly turn due to each of their work. I'd see smoker for the odd months.. and non-smoker for the even ones. I'd sleep like a baby the whole month of non-smoker.. and toss and turn the month of smoker. It was the nicotine that OOOZED out of them when I was drinking from the LiquedViagra portal on her. Then I knew.. Nicotine sucks. and now, I wont go south on a smoker.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

In the Heat of the moment he ask !!!! Posted: 11/23/2009 10:49:19 PM
You cant eat your cake and have it too. (the REAL quote actually) You CANT "get it back to JUST friendship" once the sex has happened. If you were a good F*ck, he'll want it and feel that he is entitled to it cause that barrier has been crossed. It's just how males think. He says you will go your separate ways.. so go date and find your Mr. right.. make the FWB a dont ask/dont tell. Screw him when you get horny after a good date.. and then leave. Make HIM your "hit it/quit it but no cuddling/get up and leave" guy to release YOUR pelvic congestion as you date. You CANT "hurt him" You can only make life-decisions that HE will choose how to react to. Get clear on that. If he goes into a snit when you start finding other men.. it's HIS snit. He never was a friend if he does that. Or.. stop sleeping with him immediately and start dating. When he asks why the "benefits" have stopped.. Tell him.. "I want to date others to find my eventual lifemate and didnt want to shove it in your face. So I'm taking it back to friendship" Watch him start to profess how OK he is with you dating others.. even sleeping with others.. as long as HE gets to continue the benefits. Trust me on this one.. He'll jump through HOOPS to keep your naked little body in his bed but WONT commit. Trust me.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Help! Posted: 11/23/2009 10:37:56 PM
You are right.. there are NO MEN.. your age. None.. Nada.. Yes they are there. Right now they are finishing the process of becoming MEN and that will be done when they are about 34. YOU, my dear, need to go read through my posting history to see what YOU should be doing to become that grown woman they will want to meet. Right now.. at 22, you are barely a child who can buy booze. Now before you take offense.. You have been FINDING the idiotBOYS who are all about "hooking up" and getting drunk which is what the BOYS your age do. There are NO MEN your age. They are BOYS. They cant commit to a brand of beer much less ONE P*ssy for the rest of their 70 years of living. Sheeesh... I'm serious about you reading my postings.. Read what I tell BOYS to do, in order to become a MAN. but more importantly.. read what I tell GIRLS to do.. to become that grown NON-TWIT woman that those fully developed MEN will want. Hey.. It will be the best reading you've ever done. Edit: Rainman.. I didnt see your comment before I answered.. But hey.. I'm feeling complimented.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

appropriate gifts Posted: 11/23/2009 10:11:04 PM
Blokey makes a good point.. It IS "the thought that counts" There have been times when I've gone to my date-du-jour and said... I was THINKING of getting you a gift.. but didnt know how to BUY something better than my PRESENCE.. So here I am. It WAS the thought that counted.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Dear God stop touching that! Posted: 11/23/2009 10:07:55 PM
I think that a dog kennel for the kid might work Or a electric shock collar.. Or maybe NOT being put down on her own out of sight at any time. Dont touch NO Stop Are all good parenting words. That and a playpen when you are busy doing something and CANT watch her.. NOT for the tree.. but for HER. Now.. I hope you are laughing at the IRONY of my initial suggestions. It was typed as I was laughing my @$$ off. Hell, I had my 8 yr old daughter cutting tile on a diamond tile saw. I told her: "See that blade? It's really sharp and will cut your fingers right off. Can you be careful?" She said: "Yes daddy" I left her with 40 pieces of tile to cut and went back in the house to set the others. She came in with the cut pieces all proud of herself. I said.. "Should I call 911 or do you still have all your fingers?" She said: "Oh daddy.. dont treat me like mommy.. I know how to be careful" The skilsaw was another story

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

anyone have an answer? Posted: 11/23/2009 9:49:44 PM
Reading comprehension Mellie Her parents DIDNT turn their back on her. In fact.. they INTERRUPTED their own life to take IN this ungrateful little girl Mellie.. I can MORE relate to what her parents are feeling than you can. YOU made a kid UNMARRIED at 23. I'm SURE that YOUR parents were disappointed with the fact that you WERENT married.. HADNT established yourself as a grown adult.. and were now alone raising a baby. I KNOW they werent dancing the happy dance. I CAN say what I know about how MOST PARENTS of teens and barely-20 somethings think. I can say it a lot more than YOU can since I have a LOT of friends and acquaintences that HAVE teen & 20 something daughters that made the SAME mistake as the OP. Let me tell you.. NONE of them were HAPPY about it.. As far as "chalking it up to lessons learned" Have you read the LARGE number of little girl posters on this forum alone who have multiple children from multiple spermdonors and have NEVER been married? Who are not even 25? and who biotch and complain about how guys wont date them? sheeesh.. open your eyes to the new examples of totaltwitdom. You totally missed the point. Totally CANT see her parents point of view. This screwup of a 21 yr old (in her parents eyes) needs to move out ON HER OWN as in INDEPENDENT, SELF-SUPPORTING ADULT. Then all her troubles go away and she wont be on this forum whining like a bratty child. I'm going to respond to the post below here.. since they limit the number of times you can respond in a post. You are just plain WRONG.. HER parents were NOT planning on having their daughter bring home a grandkid like a schoolgirl brings home a puppy asking.. Can I keep her? The OP is living BACK WITH HER PARENTS.. and is COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM HAVING input in THEIR OWN HOME about how she is NOT properly raising a baby. They CANT "do whatever they want" They cant be naked making love on the couch.. cause their DAUGHTER and GRANDCHILD live there. They cant do a LOT of things cause this whining little brat came back to THEIR home.. because she wasnt ADULT enough to make it on her own... Why arent you seeing that? Fact is.. I HAVE told BOTH of my kids that if they MAKE MISTAKES like the OP did.. that I WILL be disgusted with them. I'll be disgusted because I TAUGHT THEM BETTER. Frankly.. I want them to AVOID my disgust. It's a DISincentive to go be stupid. Here's another deal for you.. I told them that if they EVER get convicted of a crime.. and go to prison.. that I WONT come visit them either. I WONT send them care packages.. WONT be helpful to them while in prison. I told them to make smart choices. I also told them if they make STUPID choices.. to NOT expect my support in any way shape or form. So far.. they havent made stupid choices. One still lives with me in MY house.. under MY rules.. and does NOT complain one bit. Her friends are jealous/envious of how we get along. The other is on his own.. and calls me regularly to tell me how much he loves all that I taught him.. and how he wants to spend MORE time with my rigid-rulemaking self. Hmmmmm.. fancy that

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Unsure about church singles Posted: 11/23/2009 9:44:38 PM
Das - Let me tell you a story based upon a truth. I was a single dad of two kids. (they are grown now) I was raising them on my own where the other parent's mental illness was actually attempting to tear down all my efforts to make them into fully independent adults by the time the state granted them that status (18th birthday) Well.. When they were still little, A particular friend of mine (a guy) that was married with kids kept telling me that I SHOULD take them to a church to get them exposed and taught the "Morals and Values" that churches can teach to kids. I pretty much did the blah blah blah thing to deflect his comments to me for several years in the early days. Lo and behold, he tells me he has "found himself" having an affair. Now the irony here is that I ALWAYS knew that his wife was a bit of a shrew.. had control issues.. and was the "withholder type" of woman that would withhold sex as a power manipulative tool within the marriage. Turns out she had pretty much emasculated him for FIVE YEARS (5) before the affair "just happened" Now.. he was still being the good provider. Provided a nice home.. multiple cars.. great lifestyle.. Maids and housekeepers.. AND was home promptly at 5 each and every night to "help out" with the kids. I'd ask him if there was a cape and a big red "S" on his chest with all he did. Background DAS.. not a digression.. So anyway.. AFTER I learned of this affair, it was about 2 years into it when he AGAIN said I should take my kids to church.. like he and his wife took THEIR kids each and every sunday for that "bible learnin" stuff. I asked him why should I take them to church? He said.. To teach them morality and values. I said: What church's values do I pick from? The church like YOURS that did such a good job teaching YOU that made it OK to have an ongoing affair? He got very silent and said.. "Good point" I then asked. "YOU are my friend and also consider ME a friend, a very good friend. You have commented on the rock-solid strength of MY values.. MY morals, MY trustworthiness. You trust me UNCONDITIONALLY because of my morals and values. However.. I DONT go to church.. I happen to believe that churches are MORE like cults than not and that "religion is the OPIATE OF THE MASSES. (as has been said by someone more famous than me) I also happen to think that MOST deeply religious people have closed minds.. are NOT open to ideas.. and have surrendered their free will to some child-molestor in a backwards collar(well the catholics anyway) and are NOT to be trusted. I then asked him if MY beliefs of religion and the LACK of church training in my children has turned out "bad citizens" in the world. He said.. I can only WISH that my kids turn out as well as your's have. DAS.. You dont need a church or a religion to have values, morals, principles, character, integrity or to be a damn decent MAN. You just need to DECIDE to BE that man.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

anyone have an answer? Posted: 11/23/2009 9:20:10 PM
I'm going to bet that both YOU and most of the people are going to take this wrong and go off on me. It doesnt change the part that is a TRUTH that you need to see. You made a mistake.. in fact have made several. You didnt finish school, or training yourself for adulthood You didnt BECOME an adult before making a mistake with your birth control. You made a mistake with your spermdonor (you are alone back with your parents raising a kid ALONE) You made a mistake NOT getting a SELF-SUPPORTING career that would enable you to make it on your own.. in your own place.. answering to no one You probably continued to date the LOSER spermdonor you made the baby with even though your parents probably SAW he was a loser.. TOLD you he was a loser.. but you ignored them and stuck WITH the loser.. and now have a baby FROM that loser.. AND ARE BACK AT YOUR PARENTS HOME EXPECTING THEM TO HELP OUT! YOU probably want to know, and are whining why you CANT go out with your friends and have mom & dad watch this baby-from-a-loser-spermdonor. I can hear it now.. "WHAT ABOUT ME?" You, my little selfish, self-indulgent LITTLE GIRL.. need to eat some humble pie and be really damn grateful that your parents took you AND the loserspermdonor's kid in. Show gratitude.. show appreciation.. accept that your choices are a HUGE disappointment to those two that raised you.. and advised you AGAINST this path in your life.. but you DEFIED and did it anyway.. and you came back and what did they do????? They took you in. Show appreciation. Stop whining. Grow the F up. You probably ARENT picking her up fast enough. Probably ARENT being as good a mommy as you could be. You want to do it on your own?? GET ON YOUR OWN. Get two jobs so some stranger at daycare can raise your kid. See how THAT works for you. Sheeesh.. I'm disgusted. Totally disgusted. Probably MORE disgusted than BOTH your parents combined.. and I'll bet THEY are pretty disgusted with you too. Thanksgiving is coming.. Go show some thanks to them for helping. Paste a smile of gratitude on your face and apologize to them for being such a disappointment. Approach it that way.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

appropriate gifts Posted: 11/23/2009 7:26:45 PM
Ya know.. there is a part of me that ALMOST went and read your posting history to see if the "flavor" of this question had a history. The gift that you receive will be the "appropriate one" that this man of almost 2 years decides that your relationship is worth. And you need to act graciously when you receive it. Once.. I put a set of tires on a car for a woman. She didnt discover it for over a week. THAT was one of my best gifts ever!

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Why does he say best date ever then not call? Posted: 11/23/2009 7:22:42 PM
I'm not sure.. Maybe he got spooked when you knew ALL the words to that Carrie Underwood song "Before he cheats" (not sure of the song name) I looked at your profile. I think you should move to L.A.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Unsure about church singles Posted: 11/23/2009 7:18:41 PM
Landra had some good points. You might want to ask your friend about this group to see if it IS filled with MORE of the heavily religious types or not. But then ask yourself, is it your desire to stay without religion in your life? I liked reading that you have a self-belief of having morals and values WITHOUT them coming from a religious indoctrination. Do you WANT to learn about the bible? A church singles group might also have attendees who also go to bible-study groups. You might meet someone there who would also accompany you to her biblestudy group where you could learn more. All that being said, if you have an INNATE disbelief in all things religion.. and no desire to change that, or have a fierce resistance to it, dont date a religious woman. It will be a HUGE thorn in your side forever. Sex, money, religion, kids, inlaws, lifestyle are the top reasons marriages break up. Oh, you wont have a "creep" vibe if you truly do have morals and values.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

love to nothing? Posted: 11/23/2009 7:10:11 PM
Well, it backs up the point behind the reason where ADULT people date for several years to evaluate the CONSISTENCY in their date-mate's behavior. I think that people profess "love" WAY before it really is love first of all. REAL love takes time. It demonstrates itself in consistent behaviors. It shows caring, compassion, understanding through rough times in your sig others life. It shows flexibility and compromise. ALL of these demonstrations have to be shown time and time again for REAL love to grow. You dodged a bullet here, my dear. Be truly grateful.. and dont carry the experience forward as a pattern for EVERY guy you meet.. since the next guy is NOT this last guy DO carry forward the memory of any INCONSISTENCIES that this past guy showed you. Remember them.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Should I continue? Posted: 11/23/2009 7:55:38 AM
Your profile says: "I accept bluntness, honesty" It also says you are too non-chalant.. It also says you are mid-20's. This is what 20-something twits tell guys. Get used to it. Oh.. I she must be giving you only ONE thumb up for your "show" She might not want a "show" but want a grown up MAN

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Love turn off like a light switch? Posted: 11/23/2009 7:48:55 AM
It's because she is a 20-something twit. She wouldnt know love if it bit her in the boob. Go read my posting history on what it takes for a teen/20-something to grow UP into a full on adult. Both genders. Go read it and see if either of you two KIDS have done that. I guarantee you both havent. Love and the ability to really GIVE love.. is not a FEELING. Whatever the reason is, she wants to explore options NOT WITH YOU. Be a man, let her go and learn the lesson from it. YOU arent ready.. and NO ONE in your age pool is ready. you barely have 5 years (less than 20%) of your life qualified as being over the adult age threshhold. Oh.. and only TWO years legal enough to buy booze. That doesnt make you, OR her.. an adult.. not by a longshot.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

talk to me before you judge me Posted: 11/23/2009 7:41:56 AM
Here's some harsh reality for you. SOME people think that tattoos are just plain low class and trashy. You KNEW that when you got the tattoo(s). Some people think that tradesmen are of a lower class Some people think that blondes are stupid Some people think that people with a southern accent arent educated Point is, you've MARGINALIZED yourself with your painting of your body. All you have to do is to go hang out and meet women at tattoo conventions. There, FOR SURE, you'll find women who are into guys with tatts. Forget whether it's right or wrong.. it just IS. We ALL get judged.. Height, weight, age, hair color, skin color, tatts, clothing, job, accent. Better get used to the world out there. It exists

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Interested in your thoughts about this... Posted: 11/23/2009 7:35:55 AM
Enchanted.. my point exactly: " I would just like to point out that it shows a lot about your maturity level when you lash out at the people who respond to your post. You asked for opinions and sometimes they are harsh. Just like the real world. And real relationships. " He didnt want opinions, and certainly didnt have the MATURITY to handle getting ones opposed to his mind-made-up-but-I-want-to-whine point of view.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

how to paraphrase? Posted: 11/23/2009 7:25:24 AM
There isnt anything else to "keep him going" If he is getting sex from you, and keeps getting it AFTER telling you this or a similar statement, then he has what he wants.. an FWB. Sex and NO PROMISE to you of the relationship continuing PAST that point. If that's good enough for you.. keep doing it. Just dont think that more time will make him "fall" for you. It wont.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Met on date site now does one withdraw or ask the question? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:49:32 PM
2 hours away is dating one's steering wheel.. Long distance just does NOT work. There MAY be exceptions.. but GENERALLY.. it is too much work to START with someone who is THAT FAR away.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Hard Question Posted: 11/22/2009 5:48:03 PM
"But now he is CLEARLY reverting to his ways" At 52.. doesnt that SHOUT at you? Why are you even seeing him for another day?

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

He is not in to me or dont want anything serious??? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:44:56 PM
You are working as a babysitter on an expired visa. Here is the first lie you are telling yourself: "I believe one day he will fall for me.?" The fact that you put it with a question mark also tells a lot. NO HE WONT. You ARE hookup buddies. Dont get pregnant.. they'll still kick you out of the country even WITH a child born here. You need to renew your visa if you want to stay here.. or go home and finish your life. HE isnt the one. Not even close. Sorry you got emotionally attached over some sex.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

sticking to your own 'kind' Posted: 11/22/2009 5:40:35 PM
Commonality rules. Opposited MAY attract, but generally dont last. As far as the generality of your question.. I dont think ANYONE reading your post would have a clue about how online dating and meeting has changed dating relationships in general. ALL they'll have is anecdotal opinions.. hardly anything to post as a scientific study.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

How and when do you know when you're with the one you wanna settle down with? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:37:44 PM
You said: "love is something you fight for and I believe that" Sorry.. REAL love doesnt REQUIRE a "fight" REAL LOVE happens and is GROWN INTO by grown-up adults. The idea of "fighting for" love is a nice romantic fantasy for harlequin or hollywood movies.. but not REAL. As far as quoting scenes from that same movie source.. you are forgetting that truth-adage Art IMITATES life. THAT particular movie has characters speaking BELIEVABLE language to address human behaviors. I've KNOWN the "Gigi's" of the world. Most of them are teenagers who THINK love is this all swooning "make it work" "fight for it" "UNREQUIETED" piece of crapola. That movie really explained a lot of the FALLACY of how people (Yes, MAINLY women) believe that love works. Ladies.. It doesnt work that way. Badboys DONT become GOOD MEN once you show them ENOUGH UNDERSTANDING. Cheaters never stop cheating Angry guys become abusive later on Guys tied down TOO SOON (before middle 30's) are MORE likely to leave you around 40 than guys who werent tied down in their teens or early 20's. etc etc etc. Honey.. go FIGHT FOR your love. Remember.. ALL fights have an eventual LOSER. Hope you arent that

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

33 and tired of chasing @$$ Posted: 11/22/2009 5:24:24 PM
Oh Andy.. I read your profile. you should have stayed with that 62 yr old. She was really your type. Too much haggis it seems. Your defensive posture with our arms crossed in your main picture shows how OPEN you are to any sort of communication. I dont know if the OP is a "definite loser" Too hard to sort him out from all the scots who dont have a CLUE about american(correction- U.S. culture) It seems there are two now. One being the OP.. the other being a haggis eater. Couldnt find anything to say to the OP?? I guess you AGREE with his viewpoint. Now THAT is telling.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

help me indentify this relationship. Time to move on? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:04:12 PM
Look.. I bo.. Get Downtown's phone number and you guys can commisserate and talk all you want about this OBVIOUSLY psycho woman. then YOU can spend 15 years of your life with her just like downtown did.. Obviously you want to stay with her and "work it out" You didnt want advice. You wanted an excuse to have a miserable life.. Go have it.. and get off the forums.. It's gonna be a full time job. Yada yada yada.. blah blah blah.. But she's going through stress at work She's going through post partum stress over the baby we made She's going through stress whenever I go to get the car washed She's going through stress over the economy She's going through stress because she believes the movie plot of 2012 She became a jehovah's witness over her stress and is NOW trying to recruit ME into that cult and took our three kids to her mothers yada yada yada.. blah blah blah.. Please stop posting this crapola. It's an "Attention-seeking TROLL" posting

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Would like your opinion Posted: 11/22/2009 4:45:55 PM
At 27, you're right on the cusp of becoming the "adult" woman that I talk about in my posting history of having lived life-experiences between 18 and 30 while you finish growing up. It seems this is one of those lessons. Go read my posts to boys about what it takes to become a MAN.. See if he has done all the things I list. If he hasnt, he wasnt as ready as you were to become committed. Close, but no cigar as they say. That being said.. here's what you DONT do. Dont sit around waiting for him. DONT take his phone calls. DONT hang on to false hope. Be UNAVAILABLE to him. He HAD you.. and then like a fisherman, threw you back. The WORST thing you can do is by a crying, whining sucker willing to take CRUMBS from a "Not-ready-to-be-a-MAN" Where he gets to have his cake (you) and NOT commit to what appeared to be what you both wanted. He needs to feel the loss of "whatever you represented to him" Now.. if he feels NO loss and you find out he's moved on with his life.. then it tells you something important that you really need to listen to: "He WASNT that into you" and certainly wasnt AS into you, as you were into him. This is a life lesson. Learn from it. Then make sure you have done all the things I list in "what girls should DO to become a grown woman" in my posts and go do the ones you havent finished yet.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

How and when do you know when you're with the one you wanna settle down with? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:31:43 PM
Ok.. I see a HUGE redflag that you are missing.. Let me quote: " To tell you the truth, I'm a more sexual creature than he is" It's the BEST it will ever be at this moment. If that is what you want for your entire life.. stick it out.. However you WILL be dumped later on. Please dont make any force-the-issue kids with him - for those kid's sake You are making a HUGE mistake here in staying. "Men PURSUE the women that interest them." He's had you for EIGHT months.. and wants a guarantee of guilt/burden-free time APART from you. Hello?? Go see "He's not that INTO you" and realize that there is NO "exception" happening here. Oh.. once you end it.. OR start to date others.. he WILL amp up the attention towards you.. it's a "I'm about to lose something" syndrome of the pavlovian animal.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 87 (view)

Married woman becoming pregnant as the result of rape - does husband stay or leave Posted: 11/21/2009 4:22:00 PM
SHE decides to bring the baby into the world. She is making a choice UNILATERALLY She COULD give the baby up for adoption. It certainly wasnt created or borne out of a committed LOVE. By NOT honoring her committment to HIM and keeping a reminder of an extremely painful-for-all situation around, is a slap in that loving husbands face. There are options to keep the marriage intact. Hard ones, but still options.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Can a relationship really last if diff sex drives? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:17:50 PM
Yeah.. picture the rest of your life like this. Figure out what you'll tell your children when he leaves you for cheating on him. NO NO NO a relationship will NOT survive this. Figure out why you are so willing to put up with it.. Especially since you already KNOW what good sex from a giving lover that gives you orgasms is like.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Met this girl few nights ago, found out we work next to eachother need advice. Posted: 11/21/2009 4:10:50 PM
Wow.. already almost 40% of the posts are from ONE poster. Attention.. Attention How come no one started a delete on this? It's An Attention-Seeking Troll

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Searching preferences Posted: 11/21/2009 4:06:07 PM
Distance is paramount on my searches. Long distance is a relationship with your car's steering wheel.. that's ALL you'll be holding most of the time. Oh.. then height.. since women have Height-itus. Height-itus is that illness in american women that INSIST on their men being taller-than-they-are. Or a particular number of INCHES taller to accomodate their 4 inch stilettos that they ONLY wear out in public.. but never in bed for visual effect.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

help me indentify this relationship. Time to move on? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:03:04 PM
Then I re-iterate with some added comment Are you going to let her cost you your job? What if she becomes violent? I mean these symptoms could very easily turn violent on you and I GUARANTEE that with ANY physical altercation between a man and a woman.. YOU will be the one off in jail. run forrestt RUN.. and the FIRST time you get a crazy phone call or letter or showing up at your door.. get a restraining order. There is no perhaps about it. You need to LEAVE. It WONT get better. EVER. Oh.. there's a viewpoint about whackjobs like this one.. It's been said it's the BEST SEX EVER... Is that a part of the hold on you?

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

4 years 2 LD and now she wants to see others Posted: 11/21/2009 3:51:51 PM
Dude.. you were 22 when you met her. She is giving you the brushoff "It's not you, it's ME" as in.. "You arent enough for me" Enough what? Enough in the family jewels department? She wants to see someone else.. sure.. She wants to see the dude who HAS been porking her while you were gone LD. Man up dude.. She is SO done with you. Now.. go read in my posting history about what you SHOULD be doing for the next 6 years or so. Go do that and this girl will fade into a distant memory.. Then THANK her. She gave you a HUGE gift.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

what right do they have?!? Posted: 11/21/2009 3:44:16 PM
I think the response goes something like this. Here's several comebacks. 1. THANK you. I appreciate knowing how shallow you are. 2. I can get cosmetic surgery. I just dont know HOW to remove an @$#holish personality like yours. Good luck. 3. Maybe so, but I'm KIND. 4. Sorry to hear your parents abandoned you. 5. "I just got cast in a character role on TV.. Even HOLLYWOOD needs my ugly" 6. I've considered the source of your comment and it's worthiness" (then walk away) 7. YOUR cosmetic surgeon's work isnt all that. Seems he left your @SSHOLE right under your nose" 8. (If you're a guy) You're sister didnt think so when she was doing ATM with me! 9. (If a girl) Your dad didnt seem to think so when he cheated on your mom with me I welcome the rest of you to email me other great comeback lines Oh, LatinCrazy.. You my dear should offer them your glasses.. or tell them you know a good eye doctor

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Was she the one? Posted: 11/21/2009 3:36:08 PM
"I feel much love for her and we had amazing times, but in my gut I know she is not “the one”. How do I move on?" GO WITH YOUR GUT. Then go get some professional help about your habitual behaviors when in a relationship that you so wonderfully SELF-IDENTIFIED in your posting here. Get those fixed while NOT in a relationship or even dating. Learn how to speak as you feel Learn the mistake and behavioral modifications to NOT make them over and over As far as YOU hurting her, change your perspective on that one. You made a choice, what was a GOOD choice to end it. She may have been hurt a little, but will move on. Start thinking you "GAVE HER A GIFT" of removing a damaged UNhealthy person from her life. Dont shed THAT memory. You did a good deed. She WAS "the one" for a damaged person.. But wasnt the one for a healthy one Go get healthy

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

help me indentify this relationship. Time to move on? Posted: 11/21/2009 3:30:11 PM
OP.. Mr. DC is on the BPD bandwagon because HIS personal life allegedly had a mate who supposedly was diagnosed with it. ALL of his answers (I mean ALL OF THEM) to EVERYONE's postings on here are a cut and past about BPD. It seems he has an agenda to shove down everyone's throat concerning BPD. That being said.. It would seem from a cursory reading of YOUR stuff, that you arent with her anymore. It isnt up to you to fix her. You grasping at straws for a way TO fix this says as much about YOUR imbalance in viewing this issue, as it does about any issue SHE may have. How do you want to spend your life? Fixing someone who MAY NOT BE FIXABLE.. or finding a more healthy person for you? Make a decision

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Painfull lonelyness Posted: 11/21/2009 3:21:32 PM
You're 19. Here's the opening of your post: "I guess this started when i was very young , this feeling of wanting to be wanted and love. I always felt empty and i tried the typical things to filled in my void" Many people on here say I am harsh in my advice. I wont be harsh with you. First.. Seek out some therapy. Make sure the therapist specializes in "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy". Find out where this LACK of feeling loved and wanted comes from, and then address that first. Do it LONG before you try to get into a relationship because you are way too needy.. way too damaged to have ANYTHING of real value to a HEALTHY person. Keyword in that sentence is HEALTHY. ALL you'll wind up with is another damaged person.. and when ONE of you heals up (if you ever do) the healthy one will leave. If by the time that happens, there could be children at stake. Realize that if you make children with ANOTHER damaged person.. who will offer healthy parenting to this kid? But before you do all that.. Go read my posting history and find the advice I give teens on how to BECOME A GROWN ADULT. It's a damn good outline of how to have a greater chance of success as an adult, than the alternative methods. The "met him, miss him, havent met him for real" scenario REALLY speaks volumes of you needing to get some help.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Interested in your thoughts about this... Posted: 11/21/2009 3:11:50 PM
"Hey Mr 1kindman4u do the math now i added 2 more replies whats the % now? " Seems you are busy trying to flame your OWN thread with a comment like that. Your constant points and counter points are proving my point. Your entire posting AND all your comments on your own thread is just like a harlequin teenager. Trauma/drama like the GIRLS do. Hope it works out for you. Oh.. one other thing. Look at the title of your post. You ASKED for my thoughts. Practically BEGGED for them.. Nowhere on this website have I asked anyone for a thing. If you cant stand the ADULT heat.. get out of the kitchen.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

33 and tired of chasing @$$ Posted: 11/21/2009 2:55:38 PM
Hey everyone.. did you notice that he changed a lot of the LOSER-info in his profile? I wonder WHO motivated him to do that. I mean.. Several of you followed my lead and pointed out how awful it sounded and how UNappealing it was to ANY woman. I think all of you that were critical of me missed certain things.. I'll help you all with your reading comprehension skills and point it all out. Why?? Because I can! First off, let's review what the OP actually said.. "Seems like the only way to get someone IN THIS COUNTRY is to get smashed up drunk." As some of you also noted.. he is a FREQUENT DRUG USER (his profile) and also his "profession" is "JUST GETTING BY" Now I took note of all that and pointed out some points and DID give him a swift kick in his @SS. Was I blunt? sure.. Was I direct?? you bet... Did I try to coddle him and make him my friend first? Ummm.. NO So.. to review some of YOUR comments more about ME than the obvious of the OP's problems: violater "I don't really have any good advice to be honest, I just can't believe how some people respond to posts." Exactly.. you DONT have any good advice. You just like to snipe at others Then your 2nd comment: "It amazes me that people are so rude, just because they're sat behind a computer does it give them the right to just kick off and be so overtly nasty...and arrogant?. Do these people really act like this in real life?, if so I can see why alot of these people are on this site. Yes, ,maybe the OP need's to look at his profile and maybe assess the way he is in real life, but there are ways and means of doing it. I don't know, maybe I am clueless. All I know is, if in real life I asked someone for their advice and got the response that 'kind man' gave, he'd be wearing my drink right now. Manners obviously don't come with age...or people just feel braver hiding behind a computer." First, I give this same type of advice for PAY face-to-face ALL THE TIME. No difference behind a computer than in person. 2nd.. Please tell me where ANY of the POINTS I made are patently WRONG in this circumstance. You throw the word "arrogant" around. Arrogance is the attackword of the WEAK to try to bring down the CONFIDENT STRONG(like ME) to THEIR level of poor self-esteem. Sorry honey if my confidence AND willingness to speak truths here make YOU feel so inferior. YOUR inferiority is not my problem. 3rd. No "maybe" about it. His profile totally SUCKED as others pointed out. Why are YOU so afraid to speak the obvious and have to couch it in MAYBE.. or kinda sorta.. or some other wishywashy term? 4th.. here we are in agreement.. you ARE clueless (your own words) If you asked my advice and threw a drink in my face, I'd have you arrested for battery since it is unlawful to batter someone because YOU have an inferiority complex and dont like his CONFIDENCE. 5th Nowhere in the OP's post did he ask for manners. He asked for an opinion as to why HIS dating results were sucky. I pointed out the obvious in short, easy-to-understand terms. (Note: He HAS changed his profile) Soldier said: "They do that to make themselves look and feel better because they lack self esteem." I feel good about myself all the time. In fact, I NEVER feel badly about myself. People come to me to improve THEIR self-esteem because they want to learn HOW to feel as good about THEMSELVES as I feel about MYSELF. So sweetcakes.. you are misinformed in your diagnosis about me. Then finally here comes just plain poor reading and comprehension skills: bipolar said: "I can't help but wonder why you would express your RACIST views here. There is nothing in the OP or in his profile to indicate he is not American born" I re-read the OP's post and his profile, and since he changed it I cant say for certain if his ORIGINAL profile didnt say something about being here from another country. On that point I would have to say that SOMETHING I read in his profile said he WAS foreign born. That being said.. My comment was not racist in the least. Seems YOU have some race-issues. His original post said "IN THIS COUNTRY" as a defining issue about how he was struggling to meet women. A REASONABLE assumption from that would be that he wasnt from "this country". I'm fairly certain that I discovered that fact in his profile before I commented and told him to go back to HIS country if he thinks it would be easier to score women with such a LOSER profile and life-attitude. NOWHERE did I make a RACIST comment. Country of origin is not a RACE-definer anyway. To educate you out of your ignorance.. Both US citizens and Canadian citizens that are white.. are "Caucasian-North Americans" IF this poster was a Canuck and griping as he was.. telling him to go BACK to Canada is not a RACIST comment in the least. It's telling him to go to his HOME COUNTRY like I did. You need to get MORE than a clue.. Of course.. being BIPOLAR would make the hard. Seems the chosen name is appropriate for you.. just as mine is for me. To everyone else that agreed with me in some fashion, I appreciate your support. To the low-self esteem name callers, well.. that about says it all. And for those of you who seem to be keeping TRACK of my posts.. I'd LOVE a comment or three about the general TONE of the posts I bother to comment about. I mean.. this forum is FILLED with whiners, losers and people who just dont seem to have a CLUE about life nor how to live it. They come on here asking the most asinine questions and presenting the most terrible points of view and/or life-coping skills. So they come on here seeking SOME common sense.. SOME advice.. SOMETHING real and of substance to maybe CHANGE their lives from the miserable existence they are living.. and you criticize ME for giving them a kick in the pants?? Get over yourselves. Obviously you havent bothered to read the volume of posters who AGREE with me. You're also been so hell-bent on JUSTIFYING your anger at my truths.. you ignore the posts I've made that have been MORE of a kinder/gentler mode where I actually saw a redeeming quality to the poster worthy of "couching" my message to the level of the poster's emotional ability to understand and gain. Selective reading you critical people. I have over 100 POF members who REGULARLY email me for advice. Mainly cause I kicked their sad-sack, poor-me @$$ in my original posting TO them.. and they realized it was exactly what they needed. Sorry folks.. no apology from me here. Thanks for reading.. Y'all come back now.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Conscience Bothering Me Posted: 11/21/2009 2:10:02 PM
Why would you presume that HE is presuming you did a full tour? It seems you are worrying about too much for it just being "after a few dates".

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Interested in your thoughts about this... Posted: 11/19/2009 10:52:01 PM
33% of the posts in this thread were by this little boy He needs to call his mommy to find out why that little pigtailed girl is ignoring him Stop wasting our time

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

33 and tired of chasing @$$ Posted: 11/19/2009 10:42:39 PM
Hmmmm.. go back to your home country? Find a like-mind there Edit: You are a THIRTY THREE year old? and cant find a woman? You are an ARTIST MUSICIAN? Who DOESNT have a recording contract yet? You sir are a flake, an irresponsible UNreliable NOT-WORTH-COMMITTING -TO Little boy playing a game with your own life.. Get a job.. get a career.. Stop with the fantasy of being "discovered" You are kidding yourself.. and sitting here complaining about women seeing the leech that you are.. an artist.. hahahahahha.. Yeah.. ok You dont have a DAMN thing to offer a woman.. No income.. NO security.. NADA.. nothing Yet you blame them. Tell me.. Who WILL support the children they want to have??? Especially while you are out playing all night in some beer bar with some cheesy drunk HO groupie throwing her panties at you while your wife and kid(s) are waiting for you to MAN UP. Yeah.. If I were a woman.. I wouldnt even bother kicking you to the curb.. I'd never have slowed to check out your little beanie hat in the first place. Capital L for LOSER is written all over your posting here.. AND your profile. Hey.. WHEN you are inducted into the music hall of fame for your genre of music you can refer to ME in your acceptance speech.. I'll be watching.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Is This a Good Reason For a Husband to Leave? Posted: 11/19/2009 10:41:41 PM
Again.. Looks like a good reason to NOT marry.. and to NOT marry a woman with kids. You people are missing it bigtime.. The son was mooching. She was enabling. New hubby offered to help FOR A TIME.. but then saw something that showed HIM that the boy wasnt MANNING UP. The CLAIM that he turned to drink and young things is a red-herring for sympathy that is undeserved. She enables her son to be lazy and NOT independent. Where IS the spermdonor father in all this? Why isnt THAT man picking up the slack for this coddled lazy BOY?? I'm a single former-custodial parent of TWO.. One of each gender.. It would NEVER happen with my two.. In fact.. I discuss these scenarios with them all the time.. and frankly.. they are disgusted.. both with their own IRRESPONSIBLE age/gene pool of idiots.. but also with parents like this woman who wont kick their kids ass to grow up. Hubby was right to leave.. What part of "forsaking ALL others" did she forget that she promised?? Especially $9 an hour lazyass punks.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Am I doing the right thing? Posted: 11/19/2009 10:30:57 PM
You're 19.. still a BOY.. Now that you are feeling insulted.. Go read my post history till you find my outline of what it takes to become a MAN.. A REAL man. sheeesh.. "made your heart drop" what does that mean exactly? How about making your hardon drop.. now THAT is a life-experience.. to have a willing woman.. naked on her back.. and you pull back the sheet and it's like swimming in antarctica. brrrrrrr.. almost became a recessive gene.. retracted like a spring-loaded measuring tape..

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

met my soul mate, but he doesn't want me Posted: 11/19/2009 10:27:15 PM
Soulmates are a fallacy. You DIDNT meat him because he didnt want YOU. He IS facing it.. it ISNT YOU. Hence.. NOT a soulmate.. Time to grow up sweetie.. Harliquin LIED to you

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Text talk in the over 30s Posted: 11/19/2009 10:25:12 PM
look.. in the discernment part of dating.. WHO you choose to date.. What attracts you Obviously you dont want someone who text-talks.. It's the same as NOT wanting to be intimate with someone who has AIDS.. You'd NEVER go to an "AIDS positive help group" to find a new lover.. Dont go to a "I txt wit/my cp 2 met peeps" type of people.. It's as much of a killer as AIDS is. NEXT!

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Why would a man tell his friends all he did sexually with his new girlfriend? Posted: 11/19/2009 10:19:29 PM
Ask him You are sexy enough looking to get his interest. His ego will start the onslaught of words. Dont ask him in an accusatory way.. just ask him the what.. the why.. of what you want to know.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

LOST MY BEST FRIEND TOO SUICIDE!! GOT ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO GET OVER THE SHOCK AND PAIN OF IT? Posted: 11/19/2009 6:55:06 PM
I wasnt going to comment until I saw 4rum's post "i can assure you your friend loved you very very much" TOTAL BULLCRAP. Suicide is NOT a loving act. It isnt a self-loving act.. It isnt a Love-my-kid & family act.. It isnt a love my friend act. It's a selfish cop-out act of bullcrap that is meant to say a giant F-YOU to all those you leave behind. Please dont put out that claptrap. It's total bull. OP.. Go grieve. find some mental health help and some professional direction to both help YOU heal and deal with it.. and also to provide TRUTHFUL answers for the daughter that was left behind. She'll need even more help than you. So will the grandmother. Your friend took the chickenshiot way out. Sorry it happened.. It wasnt your fault

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

why do people feel like they need someone in their life . Posted: 11/19/2009 8:00:14 AM
It isnt NEED, it's WANT. I'm perfectly content without anyone. I have enough female companionship where I'm not alone whenever I choose NOT to be. While I'd enjoy the company of a significant other, should she come along, it isnt my BE-all or end-all. I also wont let anyone come in and try to significantly change the what or the how that I do things.

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!! Posted: 11/18/2009 6:46:46 PM
Boy.. or is that Son?? or what SHOULD I call you? I mean BOY might have you take offense since your reading comprehension skills seem to be as off as your moral compass.. and Son is a term of affection for a younger boy who cant seem to figure out how to MAN-up. Since I dont know you.. I think that ANY salutation will be lost in translation.. So.. DUDE...My comment was about YOUR post. YOUR post referred to the color/race thing. Whether you can help who you are attracted to.. you sure CAN help who you knock up without making a commitment to. Sure you are openminded.. Open to being a playa. Yeah.. Look at all my babymammas out dere.. I'm Da May-an. THAT's what I'm talkin about.. You may THINK you "love from inside" but for the rest of the world.. stop cummin inside.. Ya heard? and.. being close to twice your age.. YOU child please. but wait.. STOP child-ing and get that vasectomy.. IN fact.. get it done.. with proof.. and send me the bill.. I'll PAY for the clipping

1kindman4u

Joined: 5/23/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

for the guys Posted: 11/18/2009 6:26:07 PM
Not sure if the question is about how long after the breakup you would SEEM ready and open to date.. Or if it's about how long you date someone BEFORE you introduce them to your kids. If it's the first question.. I'd say 6 months is safe.. Depends on how much you still LONG for him. If you cried the first 6 weeks.. got angry the next 3 weeks.. then found yourself indifferent with that indifference GROWING.. then once you've had 4 contiguous weeks of total INDIFFERENCE would mean you are ready. If it's the 2nd question.. I happen to believe that you DONT introduce your kids to your dates.. until you've chosen ONE.. and HE's chosen YOU.. and you've been exclusive for 9 months or so.. AND are talking about commitment. anything short of that is a mistake.. cause your kids will bond.. and not GET why the new guy is gone. Oh.. before you put the rebound stuff on high priority.. Quit smoking. Your kids deserve better. Plus.. it will make YOU taste better too.

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