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Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Sex = Overrated Posted: 8/22/2008 7:13:19 AM
Geez. I can't believe how narrow minded most people are in this thread. Lieutenant, most people are on here are either sexually driven, or just lonely, as it is a dating site. It seems the large part of the people who come to the forums are just sexually driven. every person i was with seemed to think that i would do kind things so I could get sex but i didn't, i did it because i am a good person, not because i expected something from it, i never even brought it up in any relationship i ever had. it was offered and usually declined by me. That's a rare quality to have. I'm lucky that both my previous long term relationships involved guys who shared the same quality. They still liked sex, but they didn't do nice things for me just because they wanted to get laid. Don't let people here make you think it's so strange for you to "not want to". It really isn't all that weird. There are different dynamics that make up a relationship, and sex isn't the sole reigning part. For some people it may be, but for some others, it's definitely not. My first serious boyfriend wasn't very much into sex, and I saw that as maturity on his part. We did it once or twice a week, when the mood struck us, but that doesn't mean we weren't affectionate and loving in other ways. Sex doesn't mean = "I love you" for some people. And geez, to the rest of you, dare to let someone be different.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Metrosexual. Sexy or just weird? Posted: 8/1/2008 8:46:48 AM
Please also take into consideration... that when somebody says metro, the first imagery I get is not only "well-groomed", but a feminine man. Here's the difference: WELL GROOMED: OVERLY-PREPPY. TIGHT JEANS. TIGHT SHIRT. BANGS SWEPT TO ONE SIDE WITH GEL. TIGHT WRIST BANDS. EYE LINER. A "MAN" PURSE. ====> METROSEXUAL! In that case. NO NO NO, AND NO. I'm pretty rough and tough, so just the thought of having a boyfriend who's hands might be softer than mine.... uuuugh.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

frigid people Posted: 8/1/2008 7:54:32 AM
Frigid people have feelings, too, y'know! Just like the tin man. A lot of times it has to do with past experiences and the surroundings the person grew up in. I don't consider myself a rigid person, but most of my friends and past dates might call me that. My ex boyfriends, however, will completely disagree. My family members don't have any physical contact with each other. We don't hug, we don't kiss each other on the cheek. We've never said, "I love you" to each other. This is how I grew up. I'm not a frigid friend. I don't initiate hugs, but I do receive them. If a friend is hurt and crying, I will rub their back. It's when it comes to dating that really bothers me. I have certain personal boundaries, and by choosing not to cross them, I'm considered frigid. I never kiss or cuddle on the first date. Let me explain how affection and expression works with me: when I feel enough affection for someone for me to express that feeling physically, I will, I don't hold myself back. This is what I think is ideal, because it's so much more genuine than just a passing hug or kiss. So that's why it's funny that I've actually had first dates that ended bad simply because I didn't want to kiss the person. I understand that in our dating culture, kissing at the end of a date signifies that you are interested in the person and would like to continue seeing them--but isn't saying so enough? When I don't feel affectionate towards someone and I kiss them, I feel nothing, and I'm sure they feel nothing. Just think of it. If I do end up really liking someone after dating them a while, would I want to remember our first kiss as some random peck at the end of a date? Or would I rather remember it as something meaningful and memorable? GAAAH enough ranting. I just have such a difficult time of dating because of what most people think of my personal boundaries that I can't stand being misunderstood.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Sexual Toys Posted: 7/5/2008 8:14:06 AM
The answer is so simple that it's hilarious. You're obviously not that into sex if you enjoy toys much more than sex.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Smarter ladies have worse sex Posted: 4/30/2008 8:56:30 AM
Actually. Studies show that Smart Chicks are the best in bed, according to MANSWERS.... But who knows how accurate that show is, eh.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

What to do when a man throws a tantrum over use of a condom? Posted: 4/30/2008 8:55:05 AM
I was confronted by a full-blown tantrum when I asked a guy to please use a condum since he had had multiple sex partners. Apparently he doesn't carry condoms, nor own any in his home either. He responded indignantly saying, "You think of me as a diseased, sick, low life?" when I told him my doctors orders are to practice safe sex. What is the appropriate response to a tantrum over a a request for safe sex? Flip him the bird and tell him to GTFO.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

what is sex, what does it mean to you ? ? Posted: 4/30/2008 8:53:18 AM
Sex is playtime. You only play with people you like and the bully usually wins.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Slept with gfs mom and now she may be PREGO Posted: 4/30/2008 8:45:15 AM
This thread is funny because the OP most likely made it up in the first place to get people to look at his profile and hope they all fall madly in love with him. HA-HA-HA-HA. That or there is something in the beer over there in Ontario. And people who can feel sorry for his made-up situation... WHY?

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Love Triangle. First Love, New Boyfriend's Not Working Out. Posted: 4/24/2008 11:44:02 AM
What is she waiting for? She is waiting for you to move on again so she can get back to having to chase you. She has "grass greener" mentality.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

What do think of a guy who doesn't go to the bars? Posted: 4/24/2008 11:37:11 AM
What do think of a guy who doesn't go to the bars? Well sir, I think a variety of things. --> He could be too poor or would rather spend his money on other things. --> He wants to lessen his chances of getting STDs. --> He is a morning person. --> He likes Dr. Seuss. Of course, all of which are common qualities. There are a lot of people who don't go to bars.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

can you help Posted: 4/24/2008 11:31:20 AM
You are asking the wrong questions here. What women really worry about is if a guy has children who are axe-murderers or rapists. But unfortunately, POF does not give that option in their selections, so most of us concerned have to ask for ourselves. Not always the best icebreaker... asking the criminal record of your date's offspring, but someone's gotta do it.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 127 (view)

Modern women, yesterday's world Posted: 4/24/2008 11:17:51 AM
Re: WHY DON'T WOMEN APPROACH MEN. That's funny. I message guys in general and for some reason the majority of them don't reply. Maybe women don't take rejection as well.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act? Posted: 4/23/2008 12:50:35 PM
""To state it plainly, it is rape if refusal from one party is expressed before, during, or even after the act."" OR EVEN AFTER THE ACT ????? And then you go on and argue the other side of the argument?????? I admit, you've caught me there. Who knew a few little words could make such a big difference. I suppose I should specify... if refusal stemming from trauma of any sort is voice at any time, before, during, or IMMEDIATELY after the fact, then it is considered rape.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 838 (view)

Whats an instant turn on for you Posted: 4/23/2008 12:32:47 PM
When he says, "let me tell you a bedtime story." Then he describes in detail what he plans for the two of us to do in bed.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act? Posted: 4/23/2008 12:16:02 PM
To state it plainly, it is rape if refusal from one party is expressed before, during, or even after the act. However, in the circumstances as the OP had posted... that is ridiculous. I think each individual case needs to be re-evaluated. As the facts were reported, the woman (victim?) in the case did not sound like a victim at all. Why would she drive boys who apparently "raped" her after the fact? Turn that situation around... say it was a man who apparently asked a woman to stop during the act, then when she didn't stop, he had to repeat what he said. Later, he drove her to a certain destination and left. Wouldn't that man be pegged as a deviant? This is what that woman sounds like to me. Instead of being a victim, she sounds more like the predator. As the oldest of the three parties involved, she knew she had the upper hand over the two boys and she could play them however she liked. Rape shouldn't be rape if there was no proof of mental or emotional trauma from the act. Mental and emotional trauma AS WELL AS physical force/act of rape are what makes up RAPE. If the woman was so obliging as to drive the boys somewhere after the fact, she was obviously the one calling the shots.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

whats the worst thing you have done? Posted: 4/23/2008 12:07:44 PM
Probably laughing at him when his dog came up and licked his butt. So much for living room sex.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 204 (view)

Why are the young people on here? Posted: 4/3/2008 1:51:12 AM
I'm on here because I have go to school and I go to work (which supports my schooling habit, woohoo). I'm not just "living my life" because it's owned by society's demand of me gaining the skills I need to support myself and my so-called "life". My question is though... WHERE ARE ALL THE YOUNG PEOPLE on this site?! I only ever see folks above 30's or 40's posting tons and tons in the forums here... and you say there are young folks here? WHERE WHERE WHERE?

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

What are the chances of you contracting AIDS or HIV with a condom used? Posted: 4/3/2008 1:13:49 AM
If you are really worried about catching an STD, it's not about your chances with condoms. It's about how you use it. Remember, STDs are transferable through the exchange of bodily fluids. So if you're sucking him off sans-condom and a little pre-cum get sucked into your mouth, you can catch whatever he had. So really, it comes down to how well you know your partner... and if you're really worried about it, get them tested.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Unprotected sex and multiple partners Posted: 4/3/2008 1:07:05 AM
Once you have been dating someone and you would like to take it to the next level does anyone think about sexually transmitted diseases. Ugh. I would think, if one is not a complete bonehead, that one would know whether the person they are dating is a sexual deviant infested with sexual disease. These fundamental tidbits are the foundations of dating. Does anyone think of these things? Everyone thinks of these things. At least, every intelligent adult that I am acquainted with. It's a given. It's something you don't really "bring up" as a topic of conversation because it's such an automatic action (at least it is for me... and as I think it SHOULD BE for the rest of the known world). Jesus. Asking whether people think of protecting themselves from STDs is like asking people IF THEY FLUSH AFTER THEY USE THE TOILET. That is how I understand it, within my circle of friends and acquaintances... but what the hey, I suppose I am on the internet, and I should be expecting all kinds of crazy shit, right? Oh dear. Only on the internet...

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Should we not be trying to prevent unwanted prergnancy and the spread of STI'S Posted: 4/3/2008 12:58:10 AM
I'm actually surprised that a topic is warranted on a website full of adults. What is this, sixth grade sex ed? From what I've seen, most of the people in this thread agree with contraceptives... so what are we preaching about, exactly? Those people that you see with STD's and babies... they're probably not in the forums, nor on this website much... because my theory is if somebody is having enough sex to get an STD and/or pregnant, they're not having much trouble meeting people for sex. And isn't that what this website is all about... meeting a significant other to keep around for laughs and giggles? Contraceptive threads have been done to death. People on POF forums are meeting people through the internet, for christsakes... it's like preaching to the choir. If awareness needs to be raised, it is out there in the public. These forums have had their share of awareness, now the rest of the world needs help. How about this, if you guys are so concerned about STD's and unwanted pregnancies... next time you see a teen mom taking her baby out for a stroll... go and punch her in the throat... THAT, is called awareness.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

One for the girls.... Oral sex after intercourse Posted: 4/3/2008 12:47:52 AM
I find this topic funny. I usually don't mind tasting myself as it isn't horrible tasting. And I usually "make" the guy taste himself afterwards. Most guys don't like to taste themselves, but most guys also can't say no to a naked woman. It's odd that I find embarrassing a man during sex so funny. I'm a jerk.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

ladies, does it piss you off Posted: 4/1/2008 2:48:22 PM
VARIETY. A man's own hand is invariably different from another person's hand, vagina, mouth, or ass.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

What is a loser? Posted: 3/18/2008 9:57:58 AM
Loser: someone who hates their life and does nothing about it. Someone who has no appreciation for life and all it has to offer. You can be a bum and still not be a loser as long as you LOVE IT. Even the richest person will feel like a loser if he hates his life. I've known people who've found true love and I call them losers because they can't comprehend what they've got. A loser is closely related to the Pessimist. A loser whines and es, but doesn't take action. Losers are generally annoying. Some may say that losers also posts messages in bold. To that, I say--not my problem.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

If relationships could revert to the 1950's era...... Posted: 3/6/2008 9:41:27 AM
It's funny to hear that people are frustrated by these society norms and how it's "not okay" to want what they want... WHO CARES? Why does a person have to worry about what the society thinks of his or her personal choices? Granted, if what a person wants to do is blow up the whole time, SURE, the community's opinions should be taken into consideration.... But for something like HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE? The lifestyle of a person has nothing to do with the society unless it involves a great deviancy from sanity. That is, if a person wants to lead a lifestyle of torture, etc. Whether a woman wants to be a housewife or a C.E.O... just do it, why let society's opinions get in the way of that? Why even consider it?! Are women now days so insecure about what they really want that they have to constantly question whether it is what society would want for them? If so, let it be said that being a housewife is a profession. Being a housewife is being the C.E.O, the General Manager, as well as the Employee of your home. Your salary? The well-being and eventual success of your children and your family. Your benefits? The unconditional love of your children and your husband. And as a working mother, those benefits are available to you as well, as long as you know how to balance your working life with your family life.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Inexperienced guy getting into relationship with experienced girl Posted: 3/6/2008 9:02:07 AM
A girl I'm interested in that is only 18, has been in like 3 or 4 relationships in a 5 month span since I've known her. I'm assuming she probably slept with them all. So already off the bat she beats most of my friends score cards. For some reason that makes me feel kind of inadequate. Here's me that has only slept with one girl, getting into a relationship with a girl that's probably been with 10 guys. It kind of makes me jealous, like I should be able to score on the side or something to make up for what I've been missing out on. That probably depends on how long you were in your relationship with that one girl and how in dept you guys were sexually. A girl who's been with 10 guys, but only a couple of times with each of them, will not match up to a guy who's been in a lasting relationship. Here's why: Long term couples tend to experiment with sex more often than one-night-stand lovers. A stable relationship means there is the trust between the two to try new things.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 2/27/2008 8:20:58 AM
Trust me I am not defending her. Far from it. I just found it fascinating how people jumped over all her and yet when men make similar statements, it gets excused as "personal preference". If people are going to jump all over her, shouldn't they be juming all over the men too? One can hardly expect women to be honest when there is such a double standard. If I had read other people making personal preference comments that bordered racial, I would've been all over it as well. Whether man or women. But it just so happened that the "news" of the thread was that people were calling just one person on her comments, not two. Perhaps next time before I post in a four page thread, I should bother to read all four pages and keep a keen eye, because I totally have the time for that. Restrictions do make sense. I have tons of them myself. Like in my last reply to you, I said I will not date men from Asian culture--but not because of what they look like, simply because of the way they ARE through their beliefs and how they are raised. However, as I will restate here, it is borderline racism to make statements against dating people based solely on the reason they look white or black. As it is an insult to people overweight every time somebody says "fat people are gross." Perhaps I'm being too anal and politically correct.... but somebody has to be the ***hole.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 2/26/2008 1:36:33 PM
Well you have a LONG wait ahead of you. They don't call it racism or racial prejudice my dear....they call it PERSONAL PREFERNCE. You'll get very few to admit that they have racial prejudices. In a way I guess one can't blame them, the one woman who did was beaten up for it, yet it's perfectly okay for guys to say it and people say "there there, you have aright to your PREFENCES!! There's a difference between personal preference and outright insulting a particular group of people. Have you read this woman's posts? Obviously not. And why oh why is the topic listed as "racial restrictions" when preferences are really only set on cultural backgrounds? Unless you are saying there are people who have "Personal Preferences" based solely on what another person looks. Hell. I have personal preferences. I don't date anyone from a chinese, korean, or japanese background. It doesn't make me racist. Why? Because I don't say things like... "I ain't gonna be dating no chinaman or stupid japs but if y'all alright with 'em then shut up." Because that's basically what your friend (the woman you are defending) said about black people. So before educating people on how personal preference is not racism, "my dear", please be informed of what kind of discussion you were joining on.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 97 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 2/26/2008 11:48:45 AM
redcasandra. what i see is that everything u say is a total waste of energy. give it up. u wnat a black man please go get one and shut up. Sorry.. just a quick question... do you happen to be one of the writers for Jerry Springer or Maury? Also. I've been reading you guys flame each other... and you've yet to address whether you are actually racist or not. And I am pretty curious as to what you have to say about being racist, if you are.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Jealousy Question Posted: 2/26/2008 11:40:56 AM
Humm..yeah.. I see..She has no business being friends with and exboyfriend and "needing" to spend time with them "one on one" ! Some times, when two people are together in a relationship, it is because of friendship and not just sex. Of course you can remain friends after an amicable breakup. I'd like to call those mature relationships.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Question for women who think they are beautiful Posted: 2/26/2008 11:38:40 AM
The short answer to the question of how to deal with being pretty and being hit on because of it: Be Real about it.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Jealousy Question Posted: 2/26/2008 11:34:38 AM
Tell her you respect her and you trust her. And if you haven't yet, tell her that it's them you do not trust. You are completely in the right to not trust people you don't know well. Suggest that she let you tag along on some of these quality times with her friends. This way, you can get to know these guys personally and see what they are like, and where they are when it comes to the friendship they share with your girlfriend. It's natural to distrust people you don't know. Explain that to your girlfriend. It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex, even an ex... but it's her duty to SHOW you that there is nothing to worry about by LETTING YOU GET TO KNOW HER FRIENDS. Hope that helps!!

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

why do girls mainly like guys with washboard abs Posted: 2/26/2008 11:04:10 AM
Washboard abs? Nice hair? Good dresser? SCARY. Nice to look at, but probably not fun to date. All of those qualities scream high maintenance to me. I've said this before--I like average beer chugging, baseball cap-wearing, hairy tubby belly, REAL MEN. I once dated a guy who took GREAT CARE of himself. Never again. He would give me constructive criticism on my clothing and my hair and all that. I'm a laid back person and don't fuss over looks very much. It's really what you are looking for. If you want a girl who looks FANTASTIC, then expect her to want someone FANTASTIC looking as well.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Tipping Posted: 2/26/2008 10:53:52 AM
The way a person tips defines what type of person they are. It's about how grateful you are for someone's service, and also about how generous a person you can be. Oh, and it also lets them see whether you are thoughtful (maybe the waiter/ress looked like he/she was a poor college student?) or not. And what is a Dutch date?!? Is that like a term for a certain type of date (like how Dutch Oven is you know what) or is your date simply Dutch?

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

To keep trying or not ?? Posted: 2/26/2008 10:49:37 AM
OP, you are just a friend to her. She is not interested. I realise you'd need to hear this from her. Why is she making plans with you and backing out on them? Because she knows you are interested in her and she sounds like the type of woman who likes to keep a fan club. By the way, that whole Kelly bit? It's her way of teasing you and her best friend. I'm sure it's no secret now between all of them that YOU like LINA, and KELLY likes YOU. Maybe that whole group of friends are into hardcore drama. Either way. Get over it. Unless you'd like to play Lina's chump some more. One last time. She's not interested, dude.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

weird girl? Posted: 2/26/2008 10:18:55 AM
this girl at my work is giving me attitude and i didnt do anything to her.i seen her like 4 times and the last time i seen her she was calling me lazy, my job is ez, she doesnt want to see me,when a customer said hes not gonna come back she said good.is she a bich, weird, wants my attention or flirting? Somewhere out there a grade two grammar teacher is cutting herself because of that paragraph. But to answer your question, if she is immature, then she most likely want you to flirt with her, date her, *** her, and then dump her. However, if she seems like a together girl (smart, funny, good looking) then she is probably just having a little fun making somebody think she wants them. Either way, I think you should impress her with an email using your spectacular writing skills.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Are there any good guys left in this town and questions like it Posted: 2/26/2008 10:09:13 AM
rom time to time, I will see questions like "Are there any good guys left in this town" and "Where are all the decent guys hiding" written in profiles. Well, OP, both of those statements roughly translates into: "I'm a horrible judge of character and I have low self-esteem; but instead of looking at what is wrong with MYSELF, I'd much rather blame it on others who all seem to be treating me like shit." I've said the same things many times to friends in my life who ask me the same questions of WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD GUYS GONE? or more commonly, WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME?! The way people interact are usually based on reactions rather than actions. If a person treats you a certain way, they are reacting to a message that you sent. If you sent the wrong message, like say you let your friends walk all over you, then your new romantic interest may walk all over you as well. And as always, if you want to meet a great person, guy or girl, you've gotta spruce yourself up as well. You can't expect a great guy to want to meet some girl with self esteem issues, or is a horrible person. No matter how great a guy he is, I'm sure he doesn't need a project (rescuing YOU from YOUR OWN demons) upon MEETING YOU! Oh. Also. If you have been victim to of some bad relationships in the past that caused you to say, "WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD ONES?" Please keep in mind that a relationship fails because of TWO PEOPLE, not one. Even if your boyfriend was a chronic cheater who cheated on you and everything is entirely "his fault," it is still partially your fault for attracting a chronic cheater and not knowing somebody better before you fully commit yourself. Questions like those make me want to rip something to shreds. It's funny how most women ask this, while most men ask, "why do all the nice guys finish last?" So, girls. If you are really looking for "good ones" or "nice guys" and they are apparently all "gone," then why are there so many of them sitting on the sidelines wondering why they "finished last"? People make me LAWL.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

A small problem I am having. Posted: 2/25/2008 6:12:23 AM
Yes--I do feel degraded to a degree, and no, I do not like the taste. And I thought I'd never hear a man suggest that he understood it as degrading. Wow! Though I've known some girls to be more open than I about it. Perhaps I think too much of myself. Eh.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

SEX---->A sacred thing<----Virginity Posted: 2/23/2008 11:16:27 AM
Here's a similar thread: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8823686.aspx As for virginity being sacred--good for you. I applaud people who hold to their beliefs. But the funny thing is, OP, would you have felt the same way about virginity if you had not lost it at the age of 12 in a $50 dollar bet? I don't see virginity as sacred. I see innocence and strength of mind as sacred. Virginity is something physical that can be taken or given away as easily as shredding tissue.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

No, it's not a 'lie' Posted: 2/23/2008 9:21:38 AM
Eros and Agape are linked to Secure Attachment Mania is linked to Anxious Attachment Ludus is linked to Dismissing Attachment Overall, when thinking about love and relationships, sometimes it helps to keep in mind that love does not always mean the same thing to everyone. I loved that you posted that, GrandmaBooBoo. Research shows that attachment issues develop for people as early as infancy, and the three types of attachment levels you listed were the same as the ones you listed in the quote. Secure attachment develops from the infant having normal contact with his primary caretaker and having a routine. Anxious attachment is a result from the infant not seeing very much of his primary caretaker, while dismissing attachment is a result of the infant being lavished with constant attention. Most mothers or caretakers don't take these issues too seriously, as they think these consequences are short-lived... but research shows that the different types of attachments will stay with an infant through out their adult lives. I was going to post about how every person is raised differently and every person perceive life, and love, differently. The question of Romantic Love being a lie is unanswerable because it literally cannot be scientifically proven. It's like trying to get an answer to the meaning of life.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Close friends, what if one of them want more? Posted: 2/22/2008 8:33:09 AM
I dont know what to do? Is this common? And wil our friendship ever be back to normal......Because she is such a huge part of me! This is normal, and common. A while ago, I told my best friend that I wanted to give being a couple a try and he said he didn't want to lose the friendship we had over a relationship. I went an entire semester avoiding him. Then we had one class together and my first day in class, I found that he had saved me a seat. So just make a small gesture that just screams, "I STILL WANT TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND," but one that doesn't lead her to believe you are romantically interested in her. Your friendship will be back to normal, and it'll probably be even better than before--BUT, you need to give her time. She needs time to be okay with the fact that you rejected a relationship with her. Me and my guy best friend are going on 12 years now--I only hope I can make it past 20 as you guys have.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

struggle sex Posted: 2/20/2008 12:50:13 AM
he gets turned on when i struggle during sex. not crazy struggle, but he likes the idea that he's pinning me down. iunno...it probably works his manly, muscley ego or something. i mean, he had asked me if i find it weird, and sometimes he says that in a way, he feels like i'll think he has rapist tendencies or something. i don't think it's a rapist mentality. i mean, people like dominatrix stuff, whatever right. none-the-less, he gets sooooo turned on when i struggle out of his arms kinna thing. with anything, he gets a kick out of trying to get something, and getting it, ...something he worked for. I-KNOW-WHAT-YOU-MEAN. I've had the same experiences. No, it is not rapist tendencies. Some guys just enjoy that. Like how girls enjoy insulting boys. Tips? Tell him once and straight. Tell him that you will struggle because he enjoys it, so that he needn't to stop and ask your permission every time. Tell him that when you actually DON'T want to, you will let him know in a serious, vocal way. I did this with my past boyfriend, and it made the sex SO FANTASTIC. Struggle/Fight sex is hoooot.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

getting a boner Posted: 2/20/2008 12:42:52 AM
I take it as a compliment. My life is full of friends who are dudes. It's nothing new. A boner is a boner, and some times they just can't help it. Maybe it would help women understand the dilemma of men if every time a woman got turned on, it would be as obvious as a boner. OH WAIT--how about them hard nipples, there's an obvious sign! Gee. I wonder how a woman would take it if a guy reacted negatively to her aroused nipples. Cut them boys a break!

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Does race matter? Posted: 2/16/2008 1:23:30 AM
Race doesn't matter, culture does. Different cultures come with different preferences. Guys in Eastern Asia LOVE to be fashionable and feminine (have you guys seen Taiwanese talk shows...? The male hosts are usually the most flamboyant--and that is HOT in Taiwan). And most girls in Asia LOVE feminine men. It's weird, but the more sensitive and flamboyant you are, the more attractive you are. I suppose that's why I've never dated a guy from my "race." They're too womanly for me. Ever since I was a little girl I was always attracted to guys in baseball caps who drink beer and watch sports. I suppose I have an attraction to North American culture. Oh. And plus. I cannot imagine having sex with a Chinese guy with a heavy Chinese background. O. MY. GOD. For one thing, it's impossible to talk dirty in Chinese. Another thing, Chinese guys tend to be too shy to say anything during sex. Sex in the Chinese culture is a bad bad thing that people only do for procreation, and even if you DO have sex for pleasure, you don't talk about it with anybody, even your partner. Oh. And is it also weird that every time an Indian guy even talks to me or smiles at me, I get the feeling that he is mentally undressing me? Huh.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What do you consider a loser? Posted: 2/16/2008 1:12:37 AM
A loser is somebody who IS NOT HAPPY WITH THEIR LIFE AND GAVE UP DOING ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT. A guy with no friends, no girlfriend, and is poor, is not a loser if he is happy with who he is and how he lives. A guy who is arrogant or stuck up or thinks too highly of himself is not a loser if he is truly happy with the person he is and how he lives. And of course, the definition is the same for girls.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

What do you think of a man (or woman) who comes on really strong right away? Posted: 2/16/2008 1:06:28 AM
I think they are controlling and I start to feel stifled and trapped. Then I avoid staying in touch with them. If anybody really falls in love THAT FAST, then I wouldn't want a relationship with them anyway. Falling in love and falling out of love are one and the same--he could fall out of love with me just as fast.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

How do you deal with it? Posted: 2/16/2008 1:03:14 AM
I don't know you are, emotionally. But if you don't want to commit mental suicide, cut her out of your life, if only for a little while. Because really. A break up after two years and still best friends? I understand both of you needing each other... having somebody unconditionally for two years and then suddenly not having her is a big shock... but you guys will never really "break up" if you don't at least put some distance between yourselves. I'm all for staying friends after a long relationship--but give yourself time to NOT talk to her, NOT see her. Give yourself time to get used to the fact that you guys aren't a couple anymore. It's like ripping a band-aid. Do you rip it off half way and leave the other half there, just hanging on to your skin?

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

women meeting guys just to give bj Posted: 2/16/2008 12:53:14 AM
Yes. Women do this. Girls do this. It's actually fairly common. Blow jobs, to women of my generation, are less personal than actually having sex. As for the married ones... I cannot speak for them, except that maybe they talk themselves into thinking that blow jobs don't count as cheating? When I was with my first **** buddy, it started as just meeting for blow jobs. I never let him kiss me or touch me. I suppose it was a form of self preservation. Hah, although I don't do that now. Two serious relationship later and I've grown emotionally and got my head on straight.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 410 (view)

Are there ANY women who don't CHEAT? Posted: 2/16/2008 12:31:15 AM
I think the subject speaks for itself. I've been involved wth 5 women, and was engaged to these 5 women, and before the marriage, I found out they all cheated on me, which then, I ended it. Are there any women out there who DON'T cheat? Seventeen pages and I HOPE TO GOD that somebody has said this already....: OP... maybe it's you? I mean, maybe you attract women who like to cheat. Cuz honestly, if every woman in the world cheated, there would be a lot more **stard children or abortions would have to be free in every country. Not to bring you down or anything--but you should most likely look at the message you're putting out there. You seem to be drawing unfaithful women like flies to a dumpster.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

Rejected once again Posted: 2/16/2008 12:26:50 AM
I am begining to think that I am just one of those guys that women think of as the big brother type, they like to hang out and be friends but thats it. I'll let you in on a secret that most girls you like would never tell you: "Big brother types" = not attractive. "Let's hang out and be friends and that's it." = I am not attracted to you even though I have a great time interacting with you.

Lixiette

Joined: 5/27/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

She says it,it annoys me,but its my issue. Posted: 2/16/2008 12:16:16 AM
OP, maybe you're annoyed because it makes you feel like she's treating you like a child--or that she is subtly pointing out the fact that you LOST something. You do not like having your mistakes displayed?

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