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Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Need the opinions of the ladies.... Posted: 4/5/2006 9:24:33 PM
about nine months, in the grand scheme of things, not long at all. But a lot can happen in that short period of time.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Need the opinions of the ladies.... Posted: 4/5/2006 9:11:34 PM
The car didn't make the relationship, WE made the relationship. I did want her to buy the car, i also did want her to marry me. It was never held over her head, as though, i bought you the car, now you need to stay, even after the relationship was over. The car was bought because i wanted her to better herself, and have everything she needed. She said she needed time and space and i gave that to her, without asking for it back. It's not just the car i am dwelling on, i am sitting here trying to figure out what the hell i did wrong that made her leave! I was under the assumption that we were going to be together for a long long time, car or not, and now we're not, and for some god awful reason, unlike any other break up i have been through, this one is REALLY HARD! What it comes down to is that i miss her more than anything else, even with the STUPID FCKING car being sold, and gone, i still miss her. In the grand scheme of things, the car didn't mean sht to me, SHE meant everything to me, and i am afraid that i hurt her by taking the car back. Like stated in the original post, i feel like sh*t for doing it, and i am just trying to justify the fact that i did the right thing. And the car obviously didn't make the relationship, because the relationship and the car are gone, and i still care a shitton about her.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Need the opinions of the ladies.... Posted: 4/5/2006 8:09:15 PM
You got HER a car. She didn't ask you to, nor did she hint about it. It was a gift. Do you regularly take back gifts from people? I knew there would be one in the bunch that would say this. There was more than just the car i bought her that i never asked for back. But that statement right there is going to bother the living hell out of me, that's part of the reason i feel guilty about taking the car back. No i don't normally take gifts back from people, but this was a enormus gift that i was paying the insurance and the loan payment on. I ain't Oprah. But how would you be able to deal with something, that was bought as an investment in your future, the couple's future, and then see her with another man in it? It didn't ruin me financially. I was more than able to keep up with it. The idea, which was explained to her, was that, she goes to school, gets a better job, it means a more financially secure future for the two of us. How could i go wrong on that investment? Was it a gift? Yes, it was a gift for her to better her life. But she should "find herself" and be with other people on my buck? She told me she wanted to be independent, she wanted to do things on her own. So now she has that chance. Don't hold back, i want to hear your opinion.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Need the opinions of the ladies.... Posted: 4/5/2006 5:30:31 PM
She was commited, we were engaged! In my mind when you say yes to something of that caliber, you stick through it. I made my errors, i admit it, but my ring was on her finger and SHE took it off, she made that decision. She changed 180° after we broke up, she went from this wonderful loving person to this cold hearted, excuse me, btch, that could care less about me, or anyone else but her and the bestest friend that she has. I truly believe i knew her more than anyone else had. We sat for HOURS and talked, at the park, on the phone, at her house, anywhere. We shared so much with each other, that i couldn't make myself believe that she would actually manipulate me to use that car. This relationship has done nothing by mindfck me. I am so horribly scarred from this relationship, i really don't want to invest the time or effort into another woman, simply because i choose so poorly. She seemed to me to be this caring and affectionate person and i actually felt something. I got the car back about a month ago and it is sold already. I won't ever put myself on the line again, and i wish this pain and confusion would go away.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Need the opinions of the ladies.... Posted: 4/5/2006 3:41:56 PM
I was in a relationship, as you know, and when she said she would start school if she had a means of transportation. She at no point asked me to do it, but i went out and got her a car, to me it was an investment in our future. When things went south, she said she still loved me and missed me, and that she needed space and needed to find herself prior to making a life long commitment. She was young, 20, so i figured this was true. But my feelings were to strong for her and i said things that i shouldn't of, and kept pressing "us". Things only got worse. Well, after a while she said that her friend told her it might be better if we just cut ties. But she still said nothing of returning the car. She knew that she had that car because i loved and cared about her. She still seemed confused when talking to me. I asked what about the car? She told me that she had some friends that said I should just let her keep the car, no questions asked. So then something traumatic happened, my dad was in a severe accident, and totaled my second truck. At that point i needed a second vehicle, not a third that someone else was driving. So my plan was to get the car back from her and sell it. Before i could do that, i found out she was dating someone else, I thought she was different, i really did, and i figured the "I just needed to find myself" and the "I need space" wasn't the typical excuse that she already found someone else, i figured she was being honest with me like she always had been to me. I flipped, called and pressed hard to get that car back. I called her mom and said that she (the ex) had an hour to get the car back to me or i was calling the cops and reporting it stolen. I had been lied to, and that is the biggest no no with me. When i called her and confronted her about her dating somebody, and it was nice that it only took her a month and a half to find herself. She told me that "She didn't want to hurt my feelings" by telling me about them. I asked what about us, and she simply said "I just wanted to have some fun". So now after that long drawn out explanation, i have some simple questions. 1. Why do i feel like an azzhat for taking the car back? She was obviously using it for her benefit and not truly thinking about my feelings, why do i feel bad about taking it back and then selling it? When it sold i thought "wow glad that's out of here" but then i felt saddened that it was gone. 2. Why did she not burn any bridges? She never said anything mean to me. Usually when you found someone else, and you want the other person out of your life, you burn the bridge, you say "I don't love you and i don't want to be with you" or you say something along those lines to put closure on it, or yell something stupid to make the person hate you. How come after all i have been through, i still don't feel like i have closure? 3. How could she drive that car around for 3 months without even thinking twice about me? Without feeling such guilt about what she was doing? 4. Would any of the ladies actually give the advice "I don't think you should give him the car back, i think he should let you keep it?" am i the only one that would of said "Take the car back to the guy, he thinks it is a link to you". Would the ladies tell one of their friends that she should keep the car? Even though it was bought with the idea it was an investment in the future of the relationship. I am getting over this, it's just taking a lot longer than ever before. I have come to terms that it is over. I am moving on, it's just hard because i have never felt that deeply for a woman before. I just want some opinions on the above questions. Thanks a bunch ladies (and gents who answer) i appreciate it.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Evil tricks your body plays.... Posted: 4/4/2006 11:35:26 PM
Glad this happened to someone else and they are admitting it. The first time i was with the ex-fiance, who i cared deeply for, we got intimate, i was down south on her, and i was rock hard, after i got her off. It was time to put Mr.Winky in the tunnel of love, but Mr.Winky got nervous....and decided to take a nap. I was nervous as all hell. I think it was that more than anything else. I kind of lucked out though, she jumped up and said "I am not ready". I would of stopped even if Mr. Winky was awake, but it was kind of my out.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

cheated on in the past, can't get into serious relationship now. what the hell do I do???? Posted: 4/4/2006 11:28:12 PM
Sorry man, didn't mean to hijack your thread. BUT, since i can't mail you because i don't live in australia, Browneyes Hi there,my thoughts on this are.When the right woman come's along you will have know problem finding commitment with her.You just haven't found her yet,and when you do there will be know looking back,just give yourself time.As for having trouble opening up and trusting again, that will just come when you are ready.Break those walls down and start enjoying life and just be honest with what you are going through with the lady friend you are seeing at the time.She will either suport you or she wont,at least its out there and you dont have to feel afraid of hurting anyone.I wish you all the best Regards Shell I had the walls built up before i met the ex-fiance. I told myself that i was done, that i would never let anyone in again. Then the ex came along. I opened up to her, we complimented each other, i trusted her with everything i had, i broke down those walls, she supported me as i supported her. I put my heart, soul, mind and body into that relationship. I was nothing but honest with her. And ya know what? It's still over. Now i have to deal with the fact that i integrated her into my life. That i shared everything in my life with her, and now all my belongings and my daughter are nothing but a constant reminder of WHAT ISN'T HERE anymore. That i will never hear her say those three words that light up your life....."I love you" again. I loved my ex passionately, and i was more than likely a rebound to her. I ride in my truck, and miss her in the passenger seat. I take my motorcycle out for a ride, and miss her cuddling into my back, and kissing my neck as we cruised. My daughter still asks why we aren't going to live with her, she doesn't understand, and i can't explain it to her because i still don't understand why she is gone. She said that she still loved me and missed me after she broke it off. How can someone who truly loves you put you through a devestation of this magnitude, simple, it was a LIE, because she obviously never loved me. I had to do things to recover, after i found out she was dating someone else, i took the car back i bought her. Everyone tells me it was the right thing to do, but I STILL felt bad about it because i knew it would bother her if i took the car back. Not DEVASTATE her, it would bother her, and i felt bad about it. I will NEVER let someone into my life to that extent again. I will NEVER trust someone with that much again. Not when all they do is abuse your trust and leave. The risk isn't worth it, because now i sit here at 2:30 in the morning questioning what the hell i have done wrong to deserve this pain. Nope, once i get back to being happy with myself, which will take some time, i will NEVER risk being unhappy with myself again. I enjoyed being single and being happy BEFORE she came a long. Once again, the risk of feeling like this again is definitely not worth it. Sorry to the Mods and the OP about hijacking the thread. I am bitter.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

What is the amount? Posted: 4/4/2006 11:07:05 PM
I don't think there really is an answer to this question. My mom and dad married when my dad was 25 and my mom was 20, mom dated like one other person besides dad. I have dated alot, hell been married, been engaged after the divorce, and i still am not married. This is a person specific question. It's going to be different for everyone.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

cheated on in the past, can't get into serious relationship now. what the hell do I do???? Posted: 4/4/2006 10:39:16 PM
I don't know how to answer this one, so this is kind of a bump to get it to the top so someone smarter or wiser than me can answer it. I have been there. I am still there. The first one was always telling me how much she loved me and would do anything for me, and that life would cease to exist if i left her. Found her with my best friend in a very "interesting" position. The ex-wife gave me the abusing of a life time, but always told me she loved me, and that once again, life would not be the same without me in it. She always told me she was going to love me, she was married two weeks after our divorce/custody hearing was finalized. The ex-fiance used to tell me all the time that she was happy, that she loved me for who i was and how i made her feel. She said yes numerous times when i asked her to marry me, i could feel the love in her touch, i could feel the connection. I then got the "I need to find myself" and "i need space" (granted she gave me that after i argued about her saying she missed me and still loved me, then why are we apart?) I have no desire to be in a relationship, i have no desire to date, i have no desire to even have sex with someone. The luster of being in love has been tarnished, and i really don't think that it's going to go away. I really don't ever see me being in a commited, long term relationship with anyone ever again........the risk isn't worth it.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Can a man fall out of love... Posted: 4/4/2006 7:28:35 PM
A "split". Did you break it off with him, or did he break it off with you. If you broke it off with him, he is probably having a little bit of a trust issue, like waiting for the other shoe to drop, like he is waiting for you to leave or break up with him again. If he broke it off with you, he may be second guess himself coming back. Either way, you have to work twice as hard when the relationship is going around the second time. You have to overcome the trust violations and you have to be honest with each other. You two need to sit down and thoroughly discuss each other's thoughts. You both probably have issues with each other and what has happened in the last week. During this discussion, it may be that you two really aren't going to work things out. It depends on what comes up. I was in love with my ex, i mean "love,love". The big deep love, i don't think that i will ever forget her, and i will always have a certain part of me that loves her, i know she isn't coming back and i have to move on, but, if things were to re-surface, i truly don't know how things would go, without that long discussion.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

totally confused ! Posted: 4/4/2006 11:36:24 AM
Hun. This is what, the third? fourth? thread you have started about this guy and some problem your having? Can you see a relationship really working out with you two?

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

i haye it when men has no bounderies on their daughter Posted: 4/4/2006 11:32:41 AM
You have to talk to the man about this. I ran into this trouble with my ex. She would never tell my daughter no, and sometimes even if i told her no, sometimes my ex would say go ahead and do it anyway. I told my ex that she couldn't do this, you can't always say yes, it's going to burn you in the end. My daughter isn't dumb, she knows her boundaries when the boundaries are set, but if you don't set any, she'll do as she pleases So one day my ex and my daughter were at the mall, and my daughter took off (ran away) from my ex. I asked my ex what she did, and she said she was afraid to discipline her. I told her as long as she doesn't raise a hand to my daughter, i will back her up on just about everything, i had enough trust in her to believe her. I know how my daughter can be, she's cute, and adorable, and the halo sits on the devil horns. But unless my ex had told me about this, i wouldn't have been able to talk to my daughter about it.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Friends After Relationship?? Posted: 4/4/2006 11:21:31 AM
I'd give yourself some time to let those deep feelings come to an end. Do you really want to sit there and talk to her about who she is dating. How would you feel if she told you "I met this really GREAT guy!". It would be a let down to you. Let yourself heal, let your feelings come to an end, until she is just another person. Otherwise there will be trouble.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

so if a guy never calls hes just not that into you right? Posted: 4/4/2006 11:17:01 AM
I don't like talking on the phone, but, if i am into the person, i make the exception. Since my break up i have talked to a couple girls, but i just don't feel like talking to them. This is going to sound horrible, but "It's me, not them". I just don't have the desire to get involved in any way right now, even as friends. I do chat with a couple people from here, in Messenger and through the mail service here, but, i don't think i'd step it up to a phone conversation yet. He might have more issues than he is not revealing, or you're right, he just isn't in to you. I know it's kind of upsetting, but, there will be others for you.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

men to women Posted: 4/3/2006 7:32:40 PM
I think that's part of the problem. Everyone sees it as a "competition". It's not really like a competition. I am not going to outrun or box another guy on this site over a woman. I basically am here for the forums, and to chat with people, if i ever did decide to get back into the dating scene, this is more like selling a car. The more publicity the better. Think of it as the exact lines of selling a car. I put the car in the online site so more people can see it, not everyone is interested in the type of car you have, there is a dry selling period, eventually someone calls to check out the car, and eventually you find a buyer, no competition, someone is just generally interested in the car and wants it for themselves. Your putting yourself out there to advertise, someone eventually starts to chat with you, then they show more interest by calling, and eventually someone wants you for themselves. I hate when i see the words competition and dating in the same sentence, i just get this image of Ultimate Fighting or something.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Deploying. Posted: 4/3/2006 3:08:01 PM
I don't think you'd be able to establish anything in the short time you have on this side of the pond, but i don't see a problem with getting to know somebody while your still here. Good luck in the big sandbox.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Have there been any men whom have been abused by spouse? Posted: 4/2/2006 5:06:13 PM
You are not alone man. I was in an abusive marriage. It started with verbal abuse, then moved onto mental abuse and finally the physical abuse started. Broken ribs, a broken nose, and a couple of black eyes and i still didn't leave. She then accused me of cheating on her. After i tried to explain to her i wasn't cheating, which she didn't want to hear, probably because it was the truth, she than began beating on my self esteem. When i left her, she threw a frying pan at the back of my head. I waited, and two months later filed papers to get temporary custody of my daughter. I left her a broken person. I was mentally broken, and everything kind of re-surfaced with my ex-fiance leaving me. That's something i don't think she understands, and ever will. The scars may heal, but it's always going to be something you have to deal with. This is something your going to have to deal with for years after you leave her. Do what you need to do to get yourself back into shape.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Why cant I do this??? Posted: 4/2/2006 3:20:04 PM
You talking to him is giving you hope that he will come to his senses and come back to you. Your putting more thought into this than he is. Your feelings for him far extend his for you, in order to heal from this situation you need to put him behind you and move forward with your life. You have the power to do it, you just need to decide to do it. Good luck hun, it ain't easy.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

When Daddy is a deadbeat . . . Posted: 4/2/2006 1:01:13 PM
I kind of agree with you on the ring/piece of paper thing. When i gave my ex the ring, we hadn't set a date, and we really didn't need to, she had so many things going on, as i did. The ring more or less signified that i was 100% dedicated to her, and her alone. It was more of a promise ring than a engagement ring, but we just called it an engagement ring. Then she left. As for your kids. Don't badmouth dad, that will only make things worse. When they ask about where Dad is, tell them the truth. Tell them what city he is in. When they ask what he is doing, tell them he is living his life, and unfortunately at this point, his life doesn't include us. When they get older, and a bit smarter, they will understand what is going on. I STILL have to explain to my 6 year old why my ex-fiance and us aren't going to live together, why we aren't going to have the house that we talked about. It gets rather irritating, but, my daughter LOVED the hell out of my ex-fiance, and she truly only is 6, and doesn't understand why she left. Hell i don't. So it's hard trying to explain to my daughter what i don't understand completely myself. I still don't badmouth my ex-fiance to my daughter.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Too quick to talk to? Posted: 4/2/2006 12:52:26 PM
HA!HA! Don't feel bad man. When i am doing something, i am not paying attention to anything else that is going on. The worste is when i go into a parts store, i am kind of a car nut, so when i go in to buy parts, i have nothing but parts on my mind. So i will be talking to the parts monkey about what sensor or part for a 351Windsor i need, and there will be a girl making conversation with me. I just kind of blow it off, and answer the questions i need to. I get the part, walk out of the store, get in my truck and then think "You idiot, she was flirting with you" Part of my problem is i am oblivious, i just don't pay attention to the details like that. As far as hanging out, i do what makes me happy. I am not going to change my life just to meet someone. So if i go do something that is new to me, and i don't care for it, and i meet someone there, chances are we aren't going to enjoy the same things in life. I am not unwilling to try new things, but i am not going to go do them just because i want to meet someone. You are right though, the bar scene is definitely not a pick up point. I guess i am just trying to say, live your life the way you want to and things have a strange way of working themselves out.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

crime of passion... Posted: 4/2/2006 12:39:02 PM
Eh, don't feel bad dude, you didn't "lose" her, she "lost" you. It's going to take you time to recover from it, but in the long run, you will be okay. At least that's what i am telling myself. When i was 22 (and a little bit more crazy) I found my girlfriend and what i thought was the mother of my child in a position with my best friend from my Jeep Club. It wasn't a suprise when i pulled into the parking lot to see his Jeep there, simply because he would come over and just sit around and talk to her sometimes while i was working. It didn't bother me, i trusted him, he was my best friend, and she was my girl. I had come home early from work (i only worked ten hours instead of twelve) and as a joke i was kind of quiet about walking in, i was going to yell "HEY GET YER HANDS OFF OF HER!". So i quietly opened the door, and then jumped into the living room, there she was on her knees in front of him, blowing him. I was in shock, i walked into my bedroom, locked the door, packed my clothes, and got my my .45 Ruger and loaded it. I was in complete and utter shock, but i still managed to think "killing these two isn't going to resolve anything, or do you any good" So i walked out of the bedroom, into the living room with a loaded gun in my hand, he started screaming like a girl, and she started to try to talk sense to me. I told them i wasn't going to shoot them, that they weren't worth it to me. Put the keys for the apartment on the counter and walked out. It was about 3 a.m., parking lot was deserted, i walked up to his precious Jeep, and dumped 9 rounds into the thing. (one in each tire) then four into the fiberglass body. He knew what he had done to me, he never even called the cops. It turns out that the baby i thought was mine, was actually his. I worked a ton of hours to keep her happy, and make sure we had everything we needed in order to survive, and she told me that "I slept with him because you were never home". I was never home because i was working to keep a roof over her head and clothes on her back, an evil catch 22. I look back on it and actually wish i hadn't done it, but hindsight is 20/20 She was the first person of many that used me, the latest being my ex-fiance. Montreal Guy nailed it on the head with his response. I guess i am older and little wiser now.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

trusting someone from the net Posted: 4/1/2006 5:35:56 PM
This runs well outside the internet too.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

A strange break up which comes back for more. Posted: 4/1/2006 5:35:01 PM
He's hurt. He wants to reciprocate the pain it's caused him by trying to verbally hurt you. That's speaking from personal experience. My ex did a lot of damage to me, she broke up with me and i still care about her, but i want to yell at her for what she has done to me. If he honestly cared about you, he'd understand that school is important. My ex was in school and when she said she didn't have time to spend with me because she had to study or work, i understood. I wanted her to succeed, i wanted her to do good in school, so if it meant that i didn't get as much time with her, that was something i could deal with. But then she did some other stuff that really hurt me, and was out of character (or so i thought) for her. Now i am angry that she left me in the manner she did. She knew i was abused emotionally/physically in my marriage, and all she did was add to the baggage i know carry. I have drunk dialed and said some things that i feel are true to her, she may take it as me being mean, but she has never said word one to defend herself. I also miss her, alot. This guy basically broke up with you. Is mad, and is trying to make you feel pain like he feels. The only thing is, that he was the one that inflicted the pain, guy seems a little weird. He left you, so why is he angry at you? He brought it on himself. Good to see someone else from Ohio in the forums.......

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

My exboyfriend won't leave me alone! Posted: 3/31/2006 8:08:04 PM
As bad as this sounds, i don't think i would be capable of having a normal friendship with my ex. I was in love with her 100% and she chose to break it off with me, we tried friendship, i couldn't, the feelings were still to strong, and are still too strong. The whole time we were "friends" she kept making me feel as though we had a chance, she would say things, knowingly or unknowingly to keep me right there hanging on. To this day i don't think i could talk to her, not so much because of what she has done to me, more because i don't want to have to start from step one again. I still care about her. The only thing that bothers me is she never really gave me answers to the questions i had. You know those hard ones like "Why are you leaving me?" I just got answers like "I don't know" or questions like "Do you still have feelings for me?" and she would reply "I don't know". But she was never confident in her decisions, she always seemed to be re-thinking them. She left me with the impression that there would be a chance for us later in life, it pisses me off that she told me she was an honest person and would always be honest with me, and in the end, when it counted, she just lied. She should of just said "Were Done, leave me alone" Just make it complete closure for this guy. You obviously sound disturbed by him, just tell him, blatently and honestly. I don't want to be friends with you, and i don't think we should hang out. That SHOULD put the end to the "there is still a chance for us" feelings. He probably thinks he can change your mind.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away... Posted: 3/31/2006 4:33:27 PM
It amuses me how people say "just stop thinking about them". I shared everything in my life with my ex, my daughter, my motorcycle, my vehicles, my heart and soul. We camped togther at the same campground, i have been there for years and have roots there. So everytime i go to use them, it's kind of like that little thorn in my side that reminds me that she is no longer with me. Then i get people that tell me "well just get rid of them and get new ones". Yea, i wish i had that kind of cash to do that, but it's not going to happen. I sold the car i bought for her yesterday, at first i said "Cool, one less memory of her" but then after that it got depressing, because this chapter in my life is closing so slowly. I never really got any closure from the relationship, and then i was betrayed, the way i feel. Now i sit here and think, did she ever truly love me, or was it all a front to keep the car? Or things like, how could my love for her be so deep, and it not be returned? I have so many questions that will never be answered, so that makes it all that much harder to put to bed. I also have to deal with the fact that i am going to have passing moments with her this summer. As much as i don't want to see her, we still camp together, it's a big campground, but there are still functions where i am going to have to see her with someone else, and that someone isn't me, i still miss her, i still think it was meant to be, but, it's just not going to happen. I have people telling me that it's been years since their love left them, and they are never really over the person, they just move on. I found everything i ever wanted in a woman in her, we were happy, and she kind of set a new bar, so i know that it will never be repeated that way. I read jarb's advice, and it helped to a point, i still have the desire to be with her, even though that feeling isn't returned, and even though i know that things would be different even if she did come back. I don't know how long it takes, i really don't. i know it's hard, and i wish i had some wise words to pass on to you to make it go away faster, but there really isn't any. I wish the best for you, and i hope things look up for you. I know i am done. I am sick of picking myself up after someone devastates me, and this one took a bit of my soul with her. I'll pick myself back up, and get back on my feet after this knockout, but i am not putting myself back on the line like that, it's not worth the risk. Oh and by the way. 3 months, 23 days since she left me, and 28 days since she re-opened the wounds.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

What not to say.. Posted: 3/30/2006 1:22:58 PM
I love it when someone messages me after reading my profile and says: "I bet I can change your mind about not wanting to date" I either don't reply or reply with: "I bet ya can't" The answers to all my questions and the mysteries of life, will not be found in the crotch of some woman thinks on that level.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

How to tell people we met online? Posted: 3/29/2006 11:34:32 PM
I think they will be more astonished that your gay (according to your other posts) rather than the fact that were you met him.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

So you want a second chance? Posted: 3/29/2006 9:00:53 PM
When women are the dumper, odds are they are satisfied with their decision. Cool thread til you mentioned that. That just depressed me all that much more. What we had was good, and i still to this day don't understand what caused her to back out of the relationship.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

He lost in court, can you tell me what happens next? Posted: 3/29/2006 8:56:34 PM
I don't know how things work in Montreal, but in Ohio it goes like this: 60 Days to make up the rears, if they don't they lose their driving priveleges, work-only. They have to come up with some money to get the license back. After that they have 90 days to catch up and start paying, if not they get, i think a week in jail. At which point they have to pay something to get out of jail. After that it's a month in jail....and so forth and so on. If he likes life, he'll pay up.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

are there Posted: 3/29/2006 8:53:43 PM
I hate this question and i refuse to answer it anymore

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Having a dilema, need some input Posted: 3/29/2006 8:53:15 PM
If my family isn't available to watch my daughter, i have a REALLY close friend that i rely on, that would actually give up whatever she was doing to spend time with my daughter. Not that i expect her to, she just loves my daughter that much. She is like a big sister to her. I would not at any point bring my daughter on a date, i wouldn't subject her to something that more than likely isn't going to be there in a few months. My suggestion to you would be to start interviewing babysitters. Make it like they are actually applying for a job, cuz they are. Talk to them, get to know them, have them come over one night, pay them to stay, and just watch and pretend your not there. I am blessed to have my family and friends, i love them to death for what they do for me.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Men that agree to have a relationship with a woman who has children of her own Posted: 3/29/2006 8:40:21 PM
It's a delicate balance. "My kid comes first" is a statement that i have used, and disliked for many reasons. This does not mean that my child is always right and can do no wrong. This means that my child is 6, and is incapable of taking care of herself completely, therefor, before doing things like spending money on something trendy and unneeded, her needs will be fullfilled first, and then mine. It rarely means that my S.O. is going to lose out on anything, simply because i would give up what i had to in order to make them both happy prior to making myself happy. Most of my happiness lies in the fact that my S.O. and my child are happy, it doesn't take much. It doesn't mean i am incapable of handling an adult relationship, it doesn't mean i will ever choose one over the other. It means i have priorities that need to be met, and that if your a mature person, you will understand. My child is wrapped completely into my life, therefore if you become a part of it, you can either help me in my world, or you can stand on the outside and watch. If you choose to stand on the outside and watch, don't plan on being around long. If you want to move on, you have to give certain things up and compromise what used to be. When he was single, and staying at his ex's house, and hanging out with her family was acceptable. Now that he has moved onto another relationship, he should be choosing to spend time with you and your family. The ex's family are a thing of the past, and it seems as though he is still grasping onto it for some reason. He needs to let go and move on prior to commiting himself to anyone else. My ex-fiance's family and i were rather close, prior to us dating, we became even closer when we were seeing each other. I talked to her grandmother on a daily basis for about 2 1/2 months after our break up. It finally dawned on me that i was grasping on to somethign that wasn't there anymore, no matter how bad i wanted it, i still wasn't going to be a part of that family, and that's just the way it is. I stopped talking to her, and i have healed that much more.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

I give up Posted: 3/29/2006 8:30:18 PM
Giving up ain't so bad. Pull up a stool and have a frosty one with me!

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

bummer Posted: 3/29/2006 5:47:19 PM
I tried to remain friends with my ex, but i couldn't stop brining up how upset i was that our relationship was over. I kept telling her that i missed her, and that i wanted her back, and all that did was drive a wedge into our friendship. In hindsight i should of just walked away once the deal was done. Friendship was a pleasant idea, but impossible with as strongly as i felt for her.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Guys you date messaging your friends Posted: 3/29/2006 1:25:59 AM
Please tell me there isn't a man on the planet stupid enough to cheat on you.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Do ex's ever understand? Posted: 3/29/2006 12:58:47 AM
Does the ex fiance/girlfriend/wife ever understand what damage they have done to someone? My ex-fiance impacted my life in such a great way, i was 100% happy with her, i assume that her feelings for me were the same. She was my first true love, she showed me what love was, then she took it away from me. She changed, 180°. She could care less about me, she could care less what i think, she could care less about my daughter, she became intensely selfish and now i am having thoughts that maybe she never did care about me, that the whole relationship was fake. I was just wondering, do you really think that the people that hurt you so bad even have a clue to what kind of damage they have done to you? How your trust is damaged to the point that you don't want to ever trust anyone again? That just the idea of being in another relationship, or for that fact, just dating makes you feel sick. Just want some opinions on what everyone thinks.....

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Tell me why do men stay clear of single moms? Posted: 3/29/2006 12:13:19 AM
Well, when i was younger, and dumber, i also viewed single mothers as not having time for a man in their life. Like my friday and saturday nites would be ruined because we had to stay at home with the kids. Now that i have aged a bit, and have a child of my own, i realize that isn't true, and was more a cop out than anything else. I think the biggest excuse is that some guys are just plain dumb, including me!

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

Why do MEN stay?? Posted: 3/28/2006 11:59:37 PM
I stayed in an abusive relationship (Yes women do abuse men, i got my butt kicked plenty) because i thought things would get better. I thought for sure things would get better, i PRAYED that things would get better. I had two step kids and a kid of my own on the way. I stayed because i thought i loved her, but the truth was she had my self esteem so shot, that i really didn't think that i could do any better than her. The sex was still good, but it was just sex, it wasn't passionate, it was like porn, just two people going at it. I guess looking back on it, i stayed for many reasons, the low self esteem, the kids, my kid, my hopes and the thought that i loved her. Marriage in my mind is supposed to be forever. I guess i failed at that too. Then one day, she split my wig with a frying pan, i bled like a stuck pig, i packed my stuff and left (more to the story, but don't feel like typing it all). Within 2 months i had my daughter with me, and 3 and a half years of a custody battle i had finally won it. I look back now, with what i know now, and realize that i wasn't really in love with her, not with what the ex-fiance managed to teach me.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Tell me why do men stay clear of single moms? Posted: 3/28/2006 11:29:15 PM
You want it from my standpoint? I have dated single mothers in the past. I am a single father. We date until we feel it's proper to introduce our children to one another. Like the last single mother i dated, she had a son and a daughter. The kids were really cool, i really got attached to the little boy, i have always wanted a son. The daughter was fun cause she could play with my daughter and they got along great. And then one day Mom says to me "I've met someone else". And stopped talking to me completely. Now i didn't just lose the love that her and i shared, i didn't get to see the two kids i fell in that father type love with. She ended up dating someone else, he treated her like shit, and that was the last i heard. I think she eventually got married. But that pain hurt bad. Her son and i had bonded, and he actually said to me one day "I wish you were my dad". She called me clingy because i kept calling, in hopes that we could get back together. Not only am i retired from the dating scene, if by chance i were to head back into the race, i would be VERY wary of dating anyone, with the trust issues i have. I don't have a very good track record with women, and even less of a good track record when it comes to kids.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Ever had that crazy pheramone connection? Posted: 3/28/2006 11:08:36 PM
Yea, i've felt that. and i miss it too.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Need some Advice Posted: 3/28/2006 9:14:55 PM
If she just wants to start like friends, why don't you just continue to chat with her. Continue chatting online for a while, then when you feel ready, offer her your phone number. After you guys talk on the phone a little bit, then maybe ask if she wants to meet in person. Don't be so ready to jump the gun and think that a first date is even in the works yet. Take it slow.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Rubbing noses, how intimate is it? Posted: 3/28/2006 9:08:07 PM
My ex and i used to do this when we were in the throws of passion. She used to lean down pressing hard against my body and put her nose directly to mine, and kind of eskimo kiss, it would usually be followed by a VERY intense kiss.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

spring fever?do the whooping Bird dance to attract a mate.lol Posted: 3/28/2006 9:04:46 PM
No. As in your last thread I be me. I don't change who i am to attract someone, that's simply putting on a facade that they will eventually see through. Plus spring is the perfect time to find all the good deals on summer cars.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

If you carry a magnet will you be more attractive?lol. Posted: 3/28/2006 9:02:04 PM
How do you wear clone? You wear an exact copy of yourself? Perhaps you meant cologne. I be me, if that doesn't do enough to attract anyone, then i don't need them.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

What should I do? Posted: 3/28/2006 9:00:30 PM
It's nice to know the good looking people have trouble with this too. I am 31, single father of a beautiful daughter. Maybe you should take a step back and realize what is important in your life. I come here for the forums. If I ever decide that I want to be in a relationship again, i can almost guarantee that I won't "find" the person. We are probably going to cross paths doing something that we both enjoy. Quit spending so much time searching for Mr. Right, and do some things for yourself that you enjoy, when you get time to yourself, spend that time making yourself happy, and doing the things that you enjoy. If you don't search and think constantly that you are alone, and how it makes you feel, you may actually start enjoying life. I don't need anyone to make me happy, i can do it well enough on my own. Anyone that comes into my life is to add to my happiness, not to create it. I kind of like being single. I don't have to worry about saying something wrong to myself, I don't have to worry about what someone else is thinking, I don't have the general responsibilities of a relationship. Being single really isn't all that bad, you just need to be happy with yourself. Before you know it, your passage of singleness will be gone, and you may be thinking "God i wish i was single".

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one? Posted: 3/28/2006 7:14:24 PM
I still carry one for my ex. Engaged to be married. We complimented each other so well, at least i think so. I don't know that i won't ever feel something for her.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

whats the point... Posted: 3/28/2006 7:11:46 PM
No offense man, your lucky. I met that girl, "the one", i asked her REPEATEDLY if she was happy, i asked her numerous times if she'd marry me, PRIOR to actually asking her officially, she said yes each and everytime. I was so confident that things were going to last forever. I found my one, and i was off the market. Things went to sh*t and no we don't even speak. I miss her a lot. I wish she had put me in my place before she actually said yes to marrying me, it would of saved me a lot of hurt, and it probably wouldn't have damaged me as much as it has. I really don't see me in the dating/relationship world again.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

wow Posted: 3/28/2006 7:06:09 PM
To Garconius: You're not alone bro. She called Child Services on me because i pissed her off. She did this, then forgot to pick my daughter up for like 3 weeks.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

a real question Posted: 3/28/2006 3:39:24 PM
In my honest opinion i think that she still isn't ready to settle down with someone. If she still has the need for the instant gratification she really hasn't matured much, and is going to second guess the decision to come back to you. I feel your pain man.

Robby 2

Joined: 3/5/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

wow Posted: 3/28/2006 3:11:54 PM
Dayum ladies, it's not just the men that do it. My ex went 6 months without seeing her daughter. She has 6 other children besides my daugther. in those 6 months, she never called, never picked up the phone and basically ignored my daughter. She was never asked to pay child support, yet still doesn't do anything to support my daughter. I have to call and remind her that her weekend is coming up, and have to continually argue with her to bring her home at a decent hour on sunday, since I have to get her cleaned up and she has to get a goodnight's sleep so she can go to school monday. It's a wierd situation that effects my current relationships. My ex-fiance could never understand why i wouldn't argue with my ex about me always having to pick up my daughter or drop her off, or why she would be three hours late. She didn't understand the argument wasn't worth it, it never resolved anything. My daughter will see how things work in a couple years, she will understand.

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