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vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 14 (view)

I don't know what to do Posted: 11/29/2012 2:51:01 PM
Although u have a crush and the fact that u know she's got a bf it's a good thing u stay out of her life. U don't want to be a home wrecker. Nor start a relationship with someone where u were the cause of her breakup. It's ok to have crushes but don't act on them when they clearly have a partner in life. I think u need to divert ur attention towards something else.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 22 (view)

relationship was going somewhere then all of a sudden stops Posted: 11/26/2012 3:19:42 AM
When a person starts to become distant, it means that they no longer have feelings for u. Perhaps she's found herself someone else or she's trying to figure out what exactly she's looking for in terms of a relationship. Ask urself this, what happened in the last month for her behaviour to change all of a sudden? Did u say or do anything to make her feel this way? Also talking to her and getting the answer ur looking for is perhaps the best way to get to the bottom of things. We can all assume the worst and assume she's thinking this or that, but if we don't talk to the other person and find out, we will never know. From my own experience, my ex, 2 months into our relationship, told me that he didn't love me like he used to b4. We had been friends for 16 years and just b4 we started dating, he had told me that he loved me. He didn't pull back completely but there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach that said otherwise so I confronted him and he broke down and told me. Good luck

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 11 (view)

Trying to understand the outcome of a meet up/date Posted: 11/25/2012 11:42:40 AM
I think ur way over thinking as well. U just met her and don't know her. So ur in the 'getting to know phase' which also means dating. I think u should really go with the flow and take each day as it comes. Hold no expectations from her or from the relationship. Just date and see where it goes. Hold off on ur feelings as well till u guys progress more and have sustained a sound relationship! Good luck. She sounds like a nice person.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 9 (view)

Chatting, getting on...clearly same sense of humour...but.. Posted: 11/25/2012 11:37:15 AM
Who said that a man has to always ask someone out on a date? I think if u really like him, ask him out for a date and see what he has to say. IF he says no, move on and don't waste ur time on him to see if he would change his mind thereafter. Plenty of Fishes in the Sea! U'll reel in one good one!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

Ended out of the blue Posted: 11/25/2012 11:34:42 AM
WOW, first of all I wanna say, I'm sorry to hear that this happened to u! Not really sure where her head is at or what she was thinking. Maybe she got out of a relationship recently and her emotions are mixed up and doesn't know what she wants now? Or maybe, she just wanted sex from u and when she got it, she didn't want u anymore! I can only think it has to do with maybe if she got out of a relationship recently. And she although may want to be with u and have a relationship with u, maybe things progressed alittle too fast? If she's not willing to give u an answer, an honest answer, I think it's best u move on! I know u went out of ur way to meet her but u have to remember something, sometimes ppl do stupid things all the time and there's really no right answer for their behavior. It's best to just accept that it happened sooner than later. Next time, hold off on sex for a month and see if women move on or stick around. Considering this all happened after sex, I have a feeling she used u and when she was done, she chucked u!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 60 (view)

How do you find the time for relationships when you have a child. Posted: 11/21/2012 8:30:41 AM
^^^ I agree that 4 cancelled dates is alot regardless of the reasons. Ur very right that ppl are not the same in person as they are online or over the phone. Hell I'm not that way either. I'm such an opinionated person, and a very out spoken person online especially with strangers but in person, I wouldn't say anything to ur face cuz I don't want to start anything. I don't know...I have this feeling that this guy I'm interested in is different. Being a single father and having the sole custody of his child makes me believe that he's a good man. I trust that single fathers are doing something right to be the sole caregiver to their child so that should mean that they have their head on straight compared to single guys. At this point, I have dated enough single guys in my life, and I have been burned badly by them. I don't know. Time will only tell. Hopefully it's for the better!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 58 (view)

How do you find the time for relationships when you have a child. Posted: 11/20/2012 12:02:53 PM
I'm finding it quite the opposite. I dated a single father of 2 kids who shared custody with his ex wife so they would alternate weekends. I would see my ex every other weekend and it was fyne with me. I'm having more trouble trying to get this one guy I'm interested in to make time for us to get together. He's a single father and has the sole custody of his kid. No help from his ex gf, and aside from his brother nearby he doesn't really rely on baby sitters. So the kid stays the night over at his moms. But lately that's not the case. Grrrrr..it's a waiting game really. Him waiting for me to be completely over my ex and me waiting for him to make the time to date. Mind u we tried to meet up 4 times already and twice I cancelled and twice he cancelled. Looks like, I need to get over my ex faster or else I'm gonna miss out on a good guy!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 18 (view)

Kind of stuck between two girls not sure where to go now! Posted: 11/20/2012 7:10:01 AM
Here's my dealio...if u dated the first girl and they were problems there due to some next girl, whose to say the problems won't arise again? Whose to say ur ex gf won't trust u again? U need to eliminate the problem which in this instance is the girl who has a crush on u and created the drama. If this drama queen is friends with ur ex, then u need to open ur eyes and realize, she will do it again and things won't get any better. My opinion on dating ex's is DONT. Never go back to an ex ever again no matter what the situation is. There is a reason why things didn't work out in the first place. It's always good to move on forward and never go backwards. That's my motto in life. Moving forward and trying new things. With that said, perhaps u should forget ur ex and go out with the new girl.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 69 (view)

1st meeting Posted: 11/18/2012 3:54:23 PM
jerseygirl2008 --- obviously ur an idiot for not realizing that I'm a WOMAN and clearly my name says it so! So I suggest that U learn to READ first b4 u try to give me an attitude adjustment! SusieQ demanded that the man meet her closer to her home and she flat out told him that he was rude for not buying her a cup of coffee! How is that ok? Why is the man told what to do all the time? Why couldn't she meet him half way? Why couldn't she go and get her own coffee if that was what she really wanted? Seriously, b4 u try to educate me, educate urself. We're fighting over a damn $2 coffee that she could have bought herself. And forget the coffee, she insulted the guy over the phone and called him CHEAP cuz he drove all the way closer to where SHE LIVED and burned gas but didn't offer to buy her a cup of coffee! Did u forget that many ppl are being laid off from their work? That gas is increasingly rising? And that ppl are working 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet? And buying even a cup of coffee maybe nothing at all, but he did however go out of his way to meet her and she could have atleast bought him a cup of coffee for his troubles. Seriously, when it comes to paying bills, why do women back out and make the men pay?

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 7 (view)

Leaving you for last (mail replies) Posted: 11/18/2012 3:30:26 PM
If i don't reply back to ur message it means I'm not interested. If I was interested the least bit, I would take a glance at ur profile quickly and reply back rite away. If I haven't replied back to u rite away it could mean I haven't been online or if I was online and still failed to send u a reply, it means ur the least of my interests and there are others b4 u that I'm more interested in! Sorry for being brutally honest!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 2 (view)

What is up with challenging what I don't want? Posted: 11/18/2012 8:54:12 AM
Lying on a profile is so wrong. It makes u wonder what else they are lying about. But when ur stating that ur single but really married but separated, (which I think it's a turn off for me too), if something like that happened to me while i was talking to someone on the phone, I would have blasted them on the phone right then and there. I would have called them a liar, a two faced whatever. Why? Cuz they deserved it for hiding a pertinent info like that. I'm not into married, separated bunch either. And therefore will not tolerate anyone who stated otherwise. Yes I can be rude and blast them but don't waste my time when I could be looking elsewhere. U should have hung up the phone or worse said something to her. And yes, women and men, tend to lie on their profiles in the hopes that once u start talking to them, and then when the real truth does come out, that the other person would overlook it cuz u've build a connection. Meh, it's a game for some ppl. Don't let it bother u. Just keep fishing till u catch a big fish!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 54 (view)

Lost my love of my life because of her son, or am I wrong? Posted: 11/18/2012 8:39:40 AM
I think the biggest problem with the lady in ur life was perhaps that her 15 year old was 6'1 and she was only 5'8. She probably was scared that he might do something to her. Had she set boundaries for him early on in life, it wouldn't have gotten this far as it did. I would say, u got lucky and dodged the bullet. U don't deserve to be in a relationship where ur treated like shiet not to mention, both urs and her parenting skills were night and day. When parents over look their childs misdeeds, they are basically saying it's ok for whatever wrong he does. And when instead of being punished it never gets talked about, ur still overlooking the problem. Parents need to set boundaries with their kids and let them know that they are the child and u are the parent. I don't know. Some ppl are raising their kids wrong and some are doing it right. Its basically how much the parent themselves are willing to want to do it right!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 15 (view)

Wants to date but nothing serious. Posted: 11/17/2012 7:53:17 PM
casual dating is what it means. Someone to hang out with, to have sex with but wants no long term or any relationship status attached to it including being labelled as bf and gf!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 18 (view)

What's with all the one-sentence answers? Posted: 11/17/2012 7:51:22 PM
Do u have any idea how many messages ppl actually get? I get messages so often on here and I'm only on here for the forums but I still take the time out to reply back to them. Sometimes it's so repetitive that I just don't bother. U should keep ur options open. If they are truly interested in U, they would make the effort in getting to know u and if they don't bother with follow up questions or emails, move on. Plenty of fishes in the sea!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 14 (view)

Not really understanding Posted: 11/17/2012 7:49:00 PM
Sorry I just viewed ur profile now too. LOL Ur way too young and majority of the women on here aren't in their 20's. I think that's the biggest disadvantage u have going on. At ur age u should try elsewhere!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 182 (view)

what is your greatest dating fears? Posted: 11/17/2012 7:44:37 PM
My greatest dating fears would be, if I wasn't interested in the guy, and I told him that later on, what if he called me constantly, or texted me or started stalking me. I had an incident one time where I met a guy off the internet. We hung out as friends and nothing happened between us. He wasn't my type at all and I think he got pretty hung up on me. He started calling me at work, coming to work and standing in my line, saying nothing to me but handing me a bag of gift. Stalking at me at my house, ringing my apt buzzer number and not saying anything. Dropping by my best friend's work, and asking where i was, driving all the way to the airport and tracking me down just to drop me a bag of gifts. WOW I learned my lesson and am very cautious. Thankfully he didn't hurt me and things didn't get worse than this. But there's alot of crazies out there!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 43 (view)

Am I wrong to be mad because my fiance wants to go with his ex to make a car payment so he can see his 3 year old daughter? Posted: 11/17/2012 7:31:42 PM
Its hard to cope with the ex's of ur bf's but it's something that ur gonna have to deal with the rest of ur life if u want to marry this guy. The ex gf/wife will always be a part of his life not to mention so will the child. There will be times when they will have to talk on the phone for watever reasons including talking about their child. They might even have to meet up and spend time together as a family and these are things that ur gonna have to let them do. My ex has 2 kids. His ex wife is someone who is unreasonable when it comes to anything and everything. I had to get used to the fact that they are times when they will go to the movies together for the sake of kids or even attend a birthday get together for the kids and spend the day together. I was ok with that cuz I knew in my heart that he wasn't ever gonna go back to her. They will always be a family of their own and their time together is something I have to stay out of for the sake of their 2 kids. It's hard at first, but u have to trust him on that!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 15 (view)

He has a daughter with special needs I have no kids. HELP Posted: 11/17/2012 1:30:54 PM
U have to remember one thing. She's 18 years old and perhaps very close to her dad. And when she sees another woman coming into her dad's life maybe she's finding it threatening that perhaps all his attention will divert towards u and not on her. It may help to find out how she was with her mom and when the mom's bf moved in. Was there problems there as in did the mother neglect her daughter when the bf moved in? This will always be an issue with kids when they are of a certain age. I think u need to have a talk with the guy ur seeing and see what the problem is. Has to do with boundaries. How was ur guy's last relationship? So many factors to look into!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 32 (view)

1st date tonight but somethings not right!! Posted: 11/17/2012 1:26:35 PM
I wouldn't stress too much about the first date. Just go with the flow and keep ur cellphone in ur hands and ready to dial 911 just in case! LOL And do let us know how the first date went! I wanna know!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 8 (view)

Returning the “Stuff” Posted: 11/17/2012 12:57:35 PM
After me and my ex broke up, he dumped me, I wanted to return all the stuff back to him but he said no that it was a gift to me and he wanted me to keep it. So i kept it. But somewhere down the road, I couldn't bare to see some of his gifts lying around my place so I threw some stuff out. Well one stuff out. Trying to sell his laptop still and make some cash on that and when I find a nice watch Im' gonna throw away the watch he gave me to wear. Its not cool to be wearing an ex bf's watch still even though my friends tell me to wear it. Meh....Thankfully he didn't return any of the gifts I gave him. I would have no use for them anyways. I suppose to each their own. If they wanna return the gift then so be it, if they want u to keep it then so be that.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 18 (view)

Where do I go from here? Posted: 11/16/2012 6:30:16 PM
AHAHhahaha first of all I wanna say i love the wolverine pic! Awesome. I think as for ur dating life, I think it's too soon for either one of u to get involved in a relationship. U guys are both on rebound and perhaps enjoy each other's company and maybe meaningless sex too. But don't get ur hopes on anything more than that cuz REBOUND relationship never work. Have fun and meaningless sex while on rebound and then start a new relationship with someone. Take the time to sort out ur issues over ur ex. Its not sexy for the next girl to carry ur emotional baggage that u didn't deal with.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 22 (view)

Am I too damaged to date? Posted: 11/16/2012 6:16:56 PM
I honestly don't like reading a huge description when it comes to reading ppl's profile. I have a short attention span when it comes to reading. LOL But short and sweet is perhaps a better idea. I think the pictures look great. U have a great smile, I like that. I would leave the whole thing about journalism stuff and other personal stuff to when ur actually talking to a girl on a one on one basis. A little mystery leaves alot for women's mind to ponder at. If u basically say everything upfront as to what kind of a person u are, then it leaves no questions for the girl to ask of u. Read my profile. LOL..i have nothing on there. Which leaves a man wanting to know who I am, what I want and what I do in life. Hence communication comes in with questions after questions.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 29 (view)

Ever Wish an Ex Good Luck Finding True Love and Happiness? Posted: 11/16/2012 6:10:22 PM
When my ex dumped me for the 2nd time, I was definitely bitter. I was hurt, sad, depressed and couldn't understand how 2 compatible ppl couldn't be together. It took me a while to get over the hurt and during the hurt process, I didn't want him to be happy. As time moved on, I started healing slowly and although perhaps not completely forgave him for the hurt, I do wish him happiness now. Sorta. Although I do wish him karma first. I loved my ex so much and I thought he was the one for me. As it turns out, perhaps he wasn't the one in the end. It's still hard to get over him and forgetting the memories we shared together. But in the end, we were friends for over 16 years and I do want him to be happy again as he is an awesome guy and a great bf. Just wished we were still together! OH well, shiet happens I suppose. Can't have everything in life.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 191 (view)

Do men really care if a woman has an orgasm???? Posted: 11/16/2012 6:03:34 PM
My ex cared that whether I had an orgasm or not. He made it a point to always make me have an orgasm and then he would come. They were times when no matter how hard I tried to have an orgasm, I just couldn't get there so I would tell him to have his orgasm. And then he would. He always came last. It was awesome that he cared for me enough to wait till I had one or not then he would have one. Not many guys out there who would wait

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 12 (view)

WHY? Posted: 11/16/2012 3:27:51 PM
I agree with u. Majority of ppl date ppl who are goodlooking. But it's not necessary that the attractive ppl are nice. They are extremely self centered and shallow and do use their partners for whatever means they can find. In the past I have dated goodlooking guys. It didn't get me nowhere. Their looks didn't matter in the long run. So I started staying away from goodlooking, drop dead gorgeous guys. Now I go for the 'average' looking guy. If within the 30 seconds I find u somewhat attractive, then that's great. My ex, when I dated him, I didn't think he was attractive or find him appealing at all. I found him average looking. After we started dating, his looks never mattered at all and what mattered the most was his personality. His personality was what won me over. Unfortunately him not being man enough to deal with his past issues and his mommy issues is what broke us. Meh..But I would still date an average guy over a drop dead goodlooking guy anyday.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 3 (view)

Is it acceptable to want marriage but not kids? Posted: 11/16/2012 3:21:13 PM
YES it's ok to want marriage and not want kids. Although i'm 50-50 on the issue, somedays I lean more towards not wanting kids. Simply because I don't know if I'll be a good mother to them. I am extremely strict with my niece and my views are different and believe in discipline and love rather than spoiling a child. Not to mention, I'm scared to hell about childbirth and having a baby growing in me. I don't know how women do that but I'm scared. Not worried about my figure, but mostly scared of carrying a baby to term and having a healthy birth.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 25 (view)

When they ask you how many people are you talking to? Posted: 11/16/2012 3:17:56 PM
Yeah, when I first joined and was talking to several guys at the same time, trying to narrow my search down. I was asked that question too. And I answered that no that he wasn't the only person I was talking to. This one guy still managed to continue to talk to me and now we're good friends and hoping to meet one day. The reason I say one day, is I'm still mending my broken heart. I hate rebound and this guy seems like a nice guy so until I'm truly ready to date again then we'll go out. IN the meantime, man I got alot of anger issues towards my ex still! LOL I need to invest in a punching bag or something! LOL

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 15 (view)

How do you handle the convos where... Posted: 11/16/2012 11:40:32 AM
^^^ hahaha it's so true. And the number one thing ppl complain the most is lack of communication. Go figure. I have the same problem. When I ask guys question, they choose to answer one question over the another. It's frustrating nonetheless. So I just stopped asking questions altogether. Meh, if u wanna communicate with me, then u need to learn how to communicate effectively.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 13 (view)

How do you handle the convos where... Posted: 11/16/2012 10:34:30 AM
I went out on a date several months back and this guy just talked about him. I just sat there and listened and watched his actions. Maybe he was nervous not sure. But after the dinner he texted me and asked why I was being distant and didn't talk much. He let me talk in between but it was mostly about him. Needless to say, we never went out again.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 41 (view)

1st meeting Posted: 11/16/2012 10:31:46 AM
@halcyon_skies.... I wouldn't let my date pay for the entire meal is what I said. I don't go on dates in the hopes of getting a free meal so I carry my purse with me always. I don't rely on the men to wine and dine me when I can pay for my own meal. I would pay half the bill but if he insists on paying the entire bill so then be it. But I would offer nonetheless, unlike the 67 year who wants the men to pay for her coffee and travel the distance to see her like she's god's given gift to men.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 29 (view)

1st meeting Posted: 11/16/2012 7:40:26 AM
^^^ even if the guy calls me up and invites me for dinner, I wouldn't let him pay the entire bill. I would offer to pay half. It's only fair. Why let the man take care of the entire bill? Whatever happened to even going 50-50. Under the presumption that if a man invites u, u expect him to pay. Does that mean, u'll never invite him for dinner? WOW I must be the 'modern' girl with the 'modern' thinking on here then.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 26 (view)

1st meeting Posted: 11/16/2012 7:28:17 AM
hahahaha omg what world, era or timezone u live in Susieq945? In fact the way u think must be an era of the 40's. Cuz times changed ALONG TIME AGO! If u weren't so boxed up in ur little world, perhaps u had noticed that women fought for equality and won. And with that, comes paying for ur own coffee, meeting men halfway for a date and even means sharing the same toothbrush with that guy. Jeez. I hate women like u who think that MEN need to pay for everything. Seriously grow the hell up. Women ask men out for dates in this generation. Women also pay for their own coffee, not to mention sometimes pay for the guy's coffee. Also nowadays, women also, pay for the meals, call a guy up and say hi rather than expect a MAN to do everything. The world u live in, mmmm shouldn't u be cleaning the house and having babies. Wtf u doing online? Isn't being online and trying to meet men the new era? Jeeez.. Wow, I seriously hate women with ur mentality!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 531 (view)

Best position for BBw Posted: 11/15/2012 7:27:23 PM
With my last ex bf, I really enjoyed him being on top and I also liked being on top. My problem wasn't the fact that I was big, the problem was he had a small penis and having sex with him was hard. He couldn't hit it properly ever. So him being on top was the only option for me. I'm a big girl and haven't really found a guy who could do doggy style with me and make me have an orgasm. shakes her head

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 173 (view)

Showering together.....is it intimate? Posted: 11/15/2012 7:21:20 PM
Showering and having sex in the shower are definitely 2 different things. Showering together and washing each other or washing each other's hair is very intimate. I never showered with any of the guys I ever dated in my life till my ex. It was weird at first cuz I was trying to save the moment to be with a special guy. I thought he was the one but he wasn't. But showering together was fun. We had conversations while showering, he would lather me up and scrub me down and I would do the same for him. We would even take turns peeing in the shower! LOL There was never anything sexual we did in the shower except maybe him motor boating my boobs but that was the only thing sexual. I loved showering with him. Brought me closer to him, emotionally. I'm glad I didn't do it with everyone. Not sure if I'll do that again with the next guy but I sure do hope so.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

Starting a relation ship with my ex again Posted: 11/15/2012 7:14:25 PM
I agree with someone saying that it's not a good idea to go back to ur ex. There's a reason why u guys broke up in the first place so why bother trying to make it work? Things are gonna go back to the way it was b4. The problems will still be there and getting back together isn't gonna magically gonna sort itself out! Whatever the issue or however big it was or wasn't was, never go back to ur ex. It just doesn't work out for anyone!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 10 (view)

Not sure if I should stay with it?? Posted: 11/15/2012 7:11:53 PM
Here's how I look at it....When u have something good, why leave it to look for something else? Cuz even if u do leave her cuz ur not in love with her anymore, u may realize afterwards that she was perhaps the best thing that happened to u but then it would be too late to go back to her. What is it about her that made u fall in love in the first place and now not in love?

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 74 (view)

How long does it take for you to get over your ex? Posted: 11/15/2012 1:45:08 PM
RavenLese72-- a whole year..not bad. I think for my 5 months relationship, it's taken me 9 months to get over him. WOw it's sad really that it took me this long! lol Next time, I'm not wearing my heart on my sleeve. Its gonna be boxed within a box, inside another box and gift wrapped tightly! hahaha

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 34 (view)

When is it acceptable to ask about their child? Posted: 11/15/2012 1:39:44 PM
Yeah it's perhaps too early to ask someone about their child. U need to establish some sort of a connection with the woman first than when things get comfortable enough, either they will tell u or u can ask. But asking someone about their kid, say perhaps within the first few times of talking is not right. They will get defensive. After all they are many crazies out there so women need to be careful who they share their kids info with. And it should be that way for single mothers and fathers! I don't remember asking the guy i'm currently interested in right off the bat. I think I may have brought it up after few months after we've established some sort of friendship and trust.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 19 (view)

Talked everyday but now haven't talked in 3 days. What's up? Posted: 11/15/2012 12:19:38 PM
If u have tried calling him and he's not answering ur phone or text, it's pretty obvious he's not interested! No guy in his right mind, especially if he was interested would start not taking ur calls. I would suggest moving on and find someone else who treats u like a human being and doesn't hide behind his phone and doesn't have the decency to actually tell u that he's not interested in u but rather ignore u!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 67 (view)

How long does it take for you to get over your ex? Posted: 11/14/2012 9:18:43 PM
It took my ex a month and a half to get over me and he started dating someone else. Its been 9 months now( yes, I just counted), and honestly, I think of him here and there but not as much as I used to b4. During the first month or so, it was very hard. I stopped eating, was sad and cried alot. Couldn't deal with it all or accept that it's really over. But with time, everything healed. There's no time limit as to how long it will take u to get over someone. Just know that trying to date ppl in between isn't going to help either. Ur on rebound and as long as u accept that, the easier it is for the other person u date. Me and my ex were together for 5 months but we had known each other for 16 years. And watever u do, don't ask to be friends with him. Trust me, it doesn't work. It hurts even more. I tried it, and well it didn't work. I expected him to talk to me everyday but he didnt. He would write me an email every few months and say hi and what i was upto. We decided not to talk about who we were dating cuz that would hurt me more. And when I realized even trying to be friends with him, things will never be the way it used to be when we were friends, I realized there's no point in being friends now. I wrote him a long ass email and ended it all and told him to never contact me again and I blocked him. Like i said, I think of him here and there but rarely now. Time heals all wounds hang in there

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 58 (view)

How to make him like me again? Posted: 11/14/2012 9:11:55 PM
How do u know that he's not interested in u anymore yet he's still with u? Maybe there's more to the story than perhaps ur telling us. Love doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and for men it takes alot longer than women. Women tend to fall very quickly into love and men, well I guess they aren't in tune with their emotions as we women are so they tend to take a little bit longer. My best advice to u is this, don't come on here asking for advice. Talk to him and ask him if he's still interested in u or not. Tell him that if he's not interested in u anymore, it's ok, but there's no point in dragging it out or leading u on. But don't corner him. He should have an option to stay or go. We can't make ppl love us so if they don't, let them go. It'll be their loss in the end anyways not urs.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 29 (view)

It could happen to you Posted: 11/14/2012 6:18:56 PM
WOW u met him right off the bat AND u went to his place ALONE? jeeez I wonder why ppl do that! Lets just say that u got lucky. But i'm very happy that things worked out with u but next time don't go to some strangers house to watch a movie. They could rape u, or murder u. Don't trust ppl so quickly and blindly

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 23 (view)

Very upset and I need advice Posted: 11/14/2012 6:14:31 PM
I personally wouldn't ignore the fact that Andrew's friend told u that Andrew has a gf in Bristol. I would take it all with a grain and salt and move on. I knew of a co-worker who had a gf in UK but was dating girls here. And when I met his fiancee, I asked him why he was seeing other girls when he's got a beautiful gf. I can't honestly remember the answer he told me few years back but lets just say he felt guilty when I caught him in this act. And my view on him changed completely. I thought he was a nice guy but he treated women like nothing. Save urself the heartache and move on.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 41 (view)

Sex with your ex Posted: 11/14/2012 6:09:54 PM
WOW...ur having sex with ur ex that ur gonna divorce soon? Sounds like complication to me. I think u need to cut her off sexually and any other means. If u merely want sex, there are plenty of women on POF who are into meaningless sex. So why complicate ur divorce by sleeping with ur ex?

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 38 (view)

How has reading the POF forums affected your dating life? Posted: 11/14/2012 6:53:15 AM
I would have to say both positive and negative. And Im' more confused than ever! LOL But I do know one thing. Reading the forums helped me understand my current situation and helped me deal with my breakup. I read alot of ppl's tales and alot have given great advice. I'm definitely gonna be cautious next time I date. Not to mention, instead of waiting forever to meet a guy, I'm gonna take the plunge and meet them within 2 weeks time rather than get emotionally involved with someone I have never met yet!

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 11 (view)

How long do I wait? Posted: 11/14/2012 6:50:29 AM
I also have to hate to break to u but she was on rebound when she was with u. It's really sad that some ppl don't deal with their issues b4 jumping into a new relationship. Its not fair to the next person. Same thing happened to me. My ex got divorced and we started dating. Although he was separated and I thought he had dealt with his issues but apparently he didn't. We dated for 5 months and broke up 2 times during that time. He said the same thing to me that ur ex said to u. He wasn't sure what he wanted in life. Whether to be involved with someone again, to get married again etc. He also said he did love me and if we were meant to be together, we'll be together in the future. It took me a long time to heal but the truth is, no matter how much I loved him, I couldn't make him stay with me. I had to let him go. I should have known better to get involved with someone so fresh out of a relationship but the heart did what the heart wanted. My ex started dating someone else after a month and half after we broke up. Currently, I'm still single and trying to heal so the next guy I date, there is no issues from my side. Everyone needs time to heal in between relationships. I think the best advice I can give u, is move on. Cuz u guys won't get back together again. Not now for sure. She needs time to deal with her emotional issues. But also remember, the next time u date someone, find out about their ex and how long they have been single b4 they started to date so u can save urself the heartache. Best of luck hun

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 2 (view)

Skeptical first meet Posted: 11/12/2012 7:44:29 PM
That's really strange that on the first date, that the girl is comfortable enough to go back to a strangers place. I wouldn't but that's just me Also, I think she knew that u would be paying for the meal so it didn't matter if she ordered food for the next day. If u continue to date her, keep a cautious eye and see if this is something she does all the time. She's probably looking for a free meal or 2.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 7 (view)

Asking for hot pics and not meeting Posted: 11/12/2012 7:40:56 PM
My advice is this, DO NOT INDULGE GUYS AND THEIR DEMANDS! When they ask for pics say no, u have already enough. Or say something like, how about we meet and u can see for urself.

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 16 (view)

What's up with women who text and don't prefer to talk on the phone? Posted: 11/12/2012 6:33:14 PM
Actually here's my situation which happened so long ago. I prefer a mixture of texting and talking on the phone but mostly texting. Why? Cuz I don't want to hide my conversations from my parents but I have to cuz I live at home. And the reason I live at home is merely because it's tradition for girls to live at home until they are married. My parents eavesdrop on my conversations all the time. So I have to be either on my balcony where there's traffic noise or take calls when I'm not home. And even then it's an issue if I'm sitting outside my building talking on the phone for few hours with a guy. When I was dating my ex, we used to talk for hours and hours. After I would get off work, I would sit outside my building and talk on the phone for an hour b4 my mom called me and asked me where I was. Or at home, I'd be on the balcony talking to my bf and even then that was an issue with my dad. My parents are old fashioned indians. And they are not accepting of dating. But meh, I break all the rules. So yeah, now I'm currently texting all the time to this one guy I'm interested in and we haven't talked on the phone for 3 months. Mainly cuz he has bad reception in his apt and his phone calls drop signals on me all the time and i hear too much static which annoys the crap outta me. When I was dating my ex bf, his phone did the same thing and I hated every minute of it. We would talk for few minutes and his call would drop. Hated it, and complained every second of it. So yeah thats me. I had a phone where it did that as well too in my apt. Whenever I talked to my friend, my phone would drop calls in 2 minutes. Some ppl haven't gotten onto the new network of HSPA but that's off topic now. LOL. Texting is short and sweet and to the point. No need to drag out a conversation

vancitygurl78

Joined: 7/6/2012

Msg: 19 (view)

situation with a rapist? Posted: 11/12/2012 6:23:30 PM
Have u contacted the police? Why is he not in jail? Ur son doesn't need to know everything. Sometimes what they don't know won't hurt them. U did however do the right thing and bolted outta there as quickly as possible but I for one would contact the police in any case cuz u never know.

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