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 Author Thread: Do opposites attract or not?
 Butterfliesbloomed
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do opposites attract or not?
Posted: 8/27/2012 9:01:00 PM
hmmm yes i think that opposites attract sometimes.. for example i'm shy so outgoing and talkative people are attractive to me..and they are drawn to me too.. because i believe we are here to balance each other out.. but you need a balance with opposites and similiarities.. in general you need to have more similarities for the relationship to last
 Butterfliesbloomed
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 56 (view)
 
why is it so one sided ?
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:58:50 PM
I've dealt with men like this .. i'm PRETTY sure if he is THAT suspcious of why you aren't texting him everyday when you are away and he is paranoid about what you are doing.. i'm pretty sure he is cheating on you. and is projecting his own guilt into you.. I don't know enough details but the one-sidedness sounds to me like he might be a Narcissist.. was it always alll about him?? Also the fact that you paid for hotels etc.
 Butterfliesbloomed
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 43 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:43:11 PM
I guess i just feel sorry for the people who don't have more opportunities than the more attractive people..

I never said looks wasn't important I just said we put way toooo much value in beauty.
 Butterfliesbloomed
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is snort laughing a dealbreaker?
Posted: 8/13/2012 8:17:48 PM
LOL...i've known some people who do the snort laughing and its cute... but if its inappropiate and nobody is laughing i would think something is very odd and off with him.. maybe he doesn't know proper social cues.. It doesn't matter what we think, if it bothers you and you can't accept him its time to move on.
 Butterfliesbloomed
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 37 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/13/2012 3:25:45 PM
People just obviously are very attached to their beliefs and don't want to let them go. Oh well.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 30 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/13/2012 10:28:12 AM

Stop dating unattractive men. You're wasting the men's time and they're going to perceive you as either a gold digger or attention seeker.


More projection.. who said I ever went for them for money or attention? you are just saying that because that is something you expect from someone who is nice looking and is with someone who isn't.. then you automatically assume it has to be money or attention or whatever.. is it so hard to believe that maybe ir really really liked the guy's personality?
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 21 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/13/2012 2:56:30 AM
Be careful what you do with your projections.. i explained in my earlier post why i choose my name which had nothing to do with physical beauty. You seeing that i'm attractive and that i have that name and then you are making assumptions. Also assuming that an attractive person will not go for someone less than good looking is also projecting(because that's what you've known other attractive people to do) You do not know me so please to don't judge. I am going to write more later.

And for the record, yes i have gone with physically unattractive men.. has it worked? no but I at least tried to look past it. I am not saying i am perfect and I never said anywhere that I do not look at looks or at least find it some what imporant.. i was talking about our society as a whole, which includes me.. I really think i'm not as bad as most people about this.. I really do not like comments I get like " you are beautiful why aren't you married?" that just reduces me to just looks and putting all my value on my beauty rather then who I really am. I Just just really feel a lot of us unconsciously put A LOT of value on beauty I think we need to look deeper.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:58:14 PM
Actually that was a nickname and i find buttlerflies gorgeous and feel they represent all people's higher self , everybody is gorgeous inside..don't judge something like that without knowing the facts.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 7:52:34 PM
I find relationships unsatsfying becaues they are based on so many "conditional" things, like looks, money, status etc etc. I'm not really sure on the solution.. i'm starting to think that sex is just for procreation.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 7:48:25 PM
So do you think its fair that an unattractive person is not chosen for dating just by looks alone?? I feel that is so unfair. I would like to think that anything that has that rule of conditional love.. then i want to exclude it and think its not right or real.. even though we can't help it because of conditioning. i think we need to unlearn this.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 7:39:26 PM
"Overriding Physical Looks

How can one do this?

You have to evolve away from triviality. The more deeper and complex a person is will also be reflected in how they perceive another person. When you look at another person in a complex way then looks become diluted and less noticable. It isn't that you don't notice looks but you just notice a whole lot of other things more."
http://boards.askmen.com/archive/index.php/t-129467.html

I think as a society as a whole.. we put way too much emphasis on looks.. this sentence makes SO much sense.. and its TRUE.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 207 (view)
 
WHY DO MEN LIE TO GET A WOMAN TO FALL IN LOVE
Posted: 8/1/2012 10:38:34 PM
if you loved yourself you wouldn't have attracted those lying **stards. A LOT of men lie and will do anything for sex.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 221 (view)
 
Plain Janes Better Than The Pretty Ones?
Posted: 8/1/2012 6:28:10 PM
i agree with the pretty people having "entitlement" issues.. that goes with men too. although In my experience it has been the less attractive men who have been really picky about how "hot" they want their women to be... the good looking ones not so much.. i don't know why i have that experience.. maybe its because the less attractive men want to put your self esteem down. I think its best to go with the humble person, and that can be harder to find in more attractive folks. JMO.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 9 (view)
 
past loves
Posted: 7/30/2012 9:18:29 PM

I would wonder his motivation for telling me that...


THIS.. I had a guy tell me this and later on i found out he was manipulative.. I think they are trying to reel you in and make you feel like he or she has the upper hand in the relationship.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What do you think about this?
Posted: 7/27/2012 2:03:17 AM
you can't force a selfish person yes.. but the person still remains selfish? can you imagine the damage it would do to the child? I am still open to it being something i just do not understand though.. but i would be very suspicious of him if was in her case.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What do you think about this?
Posted: 7/27/2012 1:49:19 AM
is it a red flag if your dating someone who has a child but told you he chooses to not be a part of his life? he said he never wanted the baby and this is when he was 19 years old. he is in his 30ish now. IMO i don't think this is a good sign.. i think it sounds incrediably selfish.. now that he is older he can choose to be part of his son's life right?

(this has nothing to do with me by the way)
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Is there really ever a Mutual Breakup?
Posted: 7/27/2012 12:44:41 AM
"I haven't, but from reading the replies so far, it appears that mutual breakups happen when there's no real relationship happening to start with. The before and after isn't much different apart from possibly changing a few sleeping arrangements. Basically, it's easy to agree things aren't working if two people were never really into each other or committed to anything to begin with."

Yep. in the beginning it was like OMG you are amazing but i realize now that i just projected my ideal qualities into him but it WASN'T him. A Lot of people do this and then they get disappointed.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Is there really ever a Mutual Breakup?
Posted: 7/27/2012 12:36:32 AM
My last ex.. i was just about to say the words that i wanted to end it and he finished my sentence. i felt very relieved. it was as mutual as it gets.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 995 (view)
 
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:42:56 PM
I think there's a problem with some women who are constantly getting hit on because of their looks, most women don't want to be reduced to just a piece of meet. I think i would like the looks to not even matter to be honest, but it isn't so. we live in a very shallow society. Do people realize how disrespectful they are being by putting so much value on beauty anyway? I am not blaming anybody because its in in bedded in us but still... i wish as a society we would be a little more evolved. If someone i'm dating compliments me that im pretty, i would hope to good they put no value in my looks, and hope they ONLY value who i am as a person, as a being.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 175 (view)
 
POF horror story
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:30:34 PM
Yeah Russians are kind of known for that kind of shady behavior. *is Russian* they will use for rent, money whatever.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 980 (view)
 
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 7/25/2012 12:32:51 AM
how about being approached on the street and asked for you number "because you're hot"? Would most people be offended by that?
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 5:29:39 PM
Men are babies.. they are emotionally like a 5 year old but pretend they are actually men, lol.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Ending a Relationship or Friendship....do's and don'ts & personal choices
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:22:05 PM
I wish more men were like that .........
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Ending a Relationship or Friendship....do's and don'ts & personal choices
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:07:16 PM
I believe the person deserves an explanation in MOST cases. I have done this personally and make sure that when i do that im tactful and do it in a way that doesn't sound judgmental or critical. Leaving things off with NO explanation to me is rude and immature. I have been in some situations where the person was very abuse and was obviously not open to me so I left it at that..some people are just not open to it IMO.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:03:42 AM
Has anybody in the forum read the power of now?? a very popular book about how to reach presence. I believe that will help anybody if they want to be in a truly "healthy" relationship.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Define a healthy relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:02:18 AM
When two people love themselves enough to not need the other for their own happiness. THAT is the ultimate goal and very hard to find people like this.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I NEED ADVICE.. PLEASE :(
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:49:43 PM
Be happy she is not your wife..sorry this is happening to you.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:42:17 PM
Oh by the way.. i did date someone who i was not at all attracted to physically.. zero physical attraction.. i liked him and didn't want that to influence me wanting to be with him... after a few dates i did become romantically attracted to him.. but sexually it just didn't work. I could not get turned on at all. and I felt at the very young age i was that it would do no harm but it actually made me him feel bad about himself. I will not do that again.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:20:44 PM
If you are even asking this question... then that means you are clearly not ready to push it aside.. it might take some people awhile before it doesn't bother them at all(maybe when they get older) .. I don't think it would be fair to her either if you were not sexually attracted to her.. if i knew that my bf felt that away about me i would not want to be with him. Women need to feel like their SO's are attracted to them.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:36:11 PM
Never hit a girl while she is with her friends that is just stupid and insensitive.. I agree with reading body language. Guys can be so clueless.
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Called her the wrong name!
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:31:50 PM
LOL i call everyone by my dog's name OPPS
 gorgeousbutterfly
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Pictures of your Ex
Posted: 7/12/2012 9:06:39 PM
I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping pictures of ex.. but if you see him or her looking at them a lot.. I would definitely wonder.
 
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