[. . .] . . . I have learned not to prolong the meeting.

I prefer to meet as soon as possible I'm not into endless emails and chatting on the phone . . . I exchange a couple of emails to break-the-ice per se . . . annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd to ask the "MAGIC QUESTION" . . . I call it magic for after I ask it 90% of the fishies disappear: - - - "Are you officially divorced as in the Judge has signed and sealed the divorce papers." . . . . POOOOOOOOF . . . I never hear from them again . . . . PROBLEM SOLVED!

If they claim to be divorced . . . we exchange numbers . . . I am not concern at allllllllllllll about meeting them immediately for I am very confident and trust my ability to screen the players . . .

[. . .] . . . remember they have a certain mindset they want to play. . . . and harrrrrrrmless, sweeeeeeeeeeet, little me . . .[*snaps fingers- Darn it!- hehehe*] . . . I'm just not one of them.

My rule of thumb is: Listen closely to what people say when you first meet them. VERY CLOSELY! They will often tell you what you really need to know!

Also avoid those who give out their phone number and want you to call them. These people are players, don't feel bad about hurting their feelings, they don't really care that much, they are just looking for that instant gratification, and they get that when you do what they ask.

Anenigma, Think of it this way, maybe "married guy" is your Angel? "Every time a bell rings, an angel get's it's wings!" Do telephone rings count? I'm a big believer in all things happen for a reason.

At the heart of the "good enough" argument is that too many of us have been brainwashed into a "fairy tales and fireworks" view of romance that lacks long-term stability.

Can the good-enough theory apply to romantic partners as well?

Katharine Parks of Chillicothe, Ohio, married John at 19 and has been happily wed for 32 years. She says the terminology is right on target. "In American society, we are always going for much more than we actually need. We're expecting too much from a relationship. I think realizing this is as 'good as it gets' and that life isn't 'once-upon-a-time' is important to building a life together."

Scott Haltzman, MD, a clinical assistant professor at Brown University's department of psychiatry and human behavior, says the issue of settling for a certain person or behavior in a relationship is one of the principles of happiness -- if you reframe it as "acceptance."

That happens when you accuse your hubby (ex) of cheating for FIVE years and calls you the crazy one And all the while you KNEW it because of your spidey sense but you had some unscrupulous liar telling you YOU were WRONG. And, one day, by acting (yeah, you might say) crazy by breaking the lock in his office room and you find all the letters, receipts for Vics Secret stuff NOT your size that you NEVER got....well, sometimes you want reassurance.

1. Why did you have to go that journey solo and what were the reasons?

2. What sacrifices, if any, did you have to make?

3. What did you learn from the journey?

4. Do you find your new awareness makes you rely on relationships less?

5. Has it impacted your relationships at all, if so, how?

I completely agree, but her child was 24. The guy was a jerk.

Now hopefully we have enough brain cells to figure out by the time one gets to the serious level whether or not he is worthy of being in our children’s presence. Hopefully we haven’t been high on the “oooooooooooooooh he likes me” and have been paying attention to various scenarios where the true colors of a man will flourish.

I do not blame the man in your situation . . . I blame you . . . and if I come across harsh . . . GOOD! . . . It is a good thing that she was not a teen . . . I would have blasted you away . . . Tooooooo many parents are lazy in their thinking to conclude that our young adult daughters don’t need to be shield from our choices. [*Translation: Idiots!*]. . .

That's a moose? I thought it was a reindeer!

--Ms. Flis

She said that most all of her clients came to her and paid her to do things that their wives or girlfriends weren't willing to do. Simple as that. She said they loved their wives but came to her for that reason and that was all there was to it.

We all go elsewhere in our relationships to a certain degree if our partner refuses to fulfill a need. It doesn't mean we don't love them, disrespect them, or want out.

I still love her for millions of other reasons but I need the dishes washed. There's no need to throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak, so I hire a maid.

The only real difference I see between here and the man who hires an escort or becomes addicted to pornography is the sexual intimacy issue. Yes, that issue. The Holy Grail to most (not all) women. But isn't that the only difference? This idea of physical intimacy that most women view as the end-all, be-all?

Conversely, most women do almost the exact same sorts of things when it come to emotional romanticism. After all, there are very few Grey's Anatomy watching parties amongst men hoping for a glimpse of McDreamy's a$$. When men fail to provide a certain specific emotional need for a woman, doesn't she find it outside of her partner many times instead of ending an otherwise perfectly good relationship?

So my question is: why risk it ladies or guys? Shouldn't we figure out a way to buck up and fulfill our partner's needs?

My secondary question is: if your partner is asking you to do a couple of things outside your sexual or emotional comfort zones and being refused, why is everyone surprised when they go outside the relationship to get it?

you found yourself on your own again, did you feel you owed it to others not to involve them with you whilst you were in that rebound stage?

They are cute, they are fun and for some reason I look really really cute after I pee.

Oh fer fvcks sake... just tell her you want to do the nasty with her.... oh.... and that she has to swallow. *this is the sex forum, right?*

But, if someone has no skills...

perhaps that's not a choice...

perhaps that's the only thing they know...

I suppose some people can make that choice... others cannot...

We are enabled AND constrained by our past and our present... Perhaps for some,
there such limitations that they cannot chose differently?

I am just thinking out loud...with my fingers...

what is the protocol for making oneself "unavailable" on dating sites once you've started seeing someone?

if you meet someone and really hit it off, i think your profiles should be at least hidden after a couple dates.

he says he has met a lot of friends on POF and wants to keep his profile up to stay in touch with them. how can i not be jealous about this?

I've read in several of the men's profiles that they wish for a woman that "knows what she wants". What do you mean exactly?

Now by no means, am I saying that a mate is not for “sharing” our issues . . . but there is a difference between sharing (just speaking out loud) and expecting our loved ones to help us sort out our thoughs/mind . . . .

I don't think that the girl was supposed to be a counselor or solve OP's problems... but, I know that I usually feel better when I can share my burdens with someone....[just speaking outloud to someone] . . . even if it only means talking about them . . . [and not expecting my loved one to resolve my problems]... Sometimes it's just enough to know that someone cares if you say "I had a really difficult day today".

A bacterial infection can be cured these days, we have had antibiotics for a month or two.

WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A SLIGHT CHANCE AT A VAGINAL INFECTION!!!!!!!!!! Worst case scenario…she gets a bacterial vaginosis. What happens? A smelly discharge. Then what? An antibiotic. That’s THE WORST CASE! I hate to break it to you; but bacteria from your anus gets in or around your vagina EVERY TIME YOU SWEAT! We are talking about a matter of degree. Bottom line though; you are exposing yourself to even more bacteria through oral sex; but heaven forbid anybody bring that up.

But damn, your reaction to what happened is like a reaction I would have if my penis exploded. Did your pink explode? He didn't tie you up and charge a nickel a pop for everyone coming down the street to take a turn in you. He did something stupid, don't have a nervous breakdown.

Cut him off from anal. Then no worries about him doing it again. Explain to him he took advantage of your trust in him ,by doing that when you asked him not to, and you have no choice. You do not want to risk getting sick or infections.

On the other side of it, he probably knew full well, the possibilities of what can happen as a result, but sorry to say, he doesn't respect you enough to worry about it... You've got to give him a serious wake up call on this and find out whether it was a one off thing or a sign of a pattern of behaviour you are better off without...

You told him once that it wasn't ok............but he ignored YOU and did it again.........and now you're still with him and going back for more?........

Not only that, but they can use the old "don't want to get massage oil on your top, we better take it off... don't want to get massage oil on your bra, we better undo it.... don't want to get massage oil on your skirt, we better take it off.... don't want to get massage oil on your panties, we better take them off......"

I've tried to resign myself to living in the modern, grown-up world where love and/or sex usually precede commitment, but I don't like having to go through all that just to get what I really want.

Your guy sounds like he forgot that he stuck a pine cone up his ass late last night after one too many JD's......

So McCain is against women by picking a woman as his VP?