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Thread: Decoding the Female Language

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 329 (view)

Decoding the Female Language Posted: 8/20/2009 2:07:18 AM
How about when you are as clear as possible with a guy and all you get back is an assertion about their social ineptness and they stick by that as if it is a comfortable cushion they don't intend to leave. This has been tried, after more subtle measures got zero reaction/response. I really was willing to give them benefit of the doubt, and things only got worse. In 'textbook fashion', the less they reacted, the more I attempted to clarify and explain myself, and communication went swiftly down the sewer. What IS a chick to do . . . Clarity doesn't seem to work for those who are already excessively unsure of themselves or inexperienced. And if you non-judgmentally want to try to be of assistance, they make themselves unavailable for, help, so to speak . . . Its all too complicated for me.

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Buying & accepting drinks Posted: 6/8/2009 1:49:24 AM
I know this thread is old, but I hadn't seen the following addressed: What is protocol, or common practice when a dude sends a drink to a chick he hasn't even talked to, and she can see who he is, and he waves or smiles or something, but doesn't come over. Therefore, the drink is sent with no conversation ever having happened? She doesn't know what to do because she's never had anyone to discuss this with, she hates to see good alcohol go to waste, so she raises the glass in thanks from across the bar, but wouldn't it seem like it would then be that guy's place to come say something to her? Would there be some expectation that she's going to walk over to where he is?

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

DELETE MY FOCKING PROFILE NOW DAMN IT Posted: 6/8/2009 1:25:04 AM
Where's the post explaining to him how to reformat his harddrive which most assuredly would have removed ~something~ from his 'focking' whatever?

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Lip gloss Posted: 6/3/2009 11:09:50 PM
Why in the world is anyone wearing lipstick, etc, to the dentist? How about some respect for the job they have to do? Do you brush your teeth with lipstick on ? Its the same darn deal. Incredible.

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 103 (view)

this is embarrassing! Posted: 5/5/2009 5:32:11 AM
Congrats to the guys that appreciate it. I was under the impression it would be considered a turnon, but more guys in real life are thrown off by it, than appreciative such as are here . . .

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

this is embarrassing! Posted: 5/5/2009 4:46:28 AM
something like these: http://www.allegromedical.com/incontinence-c525/reusable-chair-pad-waterproof-chair-pad-that-provides-protection-p193259.html http://www.allegromedical.com/incontinence-c525/reusable-chair-pad-waterproof-chair-pad-that-provides-protection-p193259.html small enough to go easily into the wash without the commitment of a whole sheet better than towels!

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Kissed Another Guy Early in Dating Posted: 4/20/2009 1:14:18 AM
Say you met a chick you like pretty well, and you have a job that keeps you on the road alot. You guys have only hung out like three times, so no one has any claim on anybody, and the chick in question winds up making with another guy at the local watering hole, with no particular intentions, but it did happen while you were away. How would you want to hear about it from her? Is this instant grounds for writing her off? She really isn't a slut or a bad person, and actually till you, hadn't had a date in forever. Just bad timing with this guy-kissing incident . . . and she's been trying to take things slow and gradual with you, and you guys do like each other . . .

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 268 (view)

dining scam Posted: 12/18/2008 1:38:38 AM
Losers like that make it hard on those that can't even find someone buy them a lousy glass of iced tea!

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

this is embarrassing! Posted: 12/18/2008 12:10:18 AM
Towels aren't always enough. Had a friend that used a pillow one time. Still, a pad under towels seems best. This is not bad and less noisy than a plastic painting dropcloth or something. They found something similar at Wallyworld http://www.nationalincontinence.com/pc/WM/WashableUnderpads/Reusable+Waterproof+Underpad

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 464 (view)

Can women really go without sex???? Posted: 12/17/2008 10:24:40 PM
sure. no sex beats bad sex. no sex beats an unaffectionate dork who's "uncomfortable" holding hands, kissing, or performing any other specifically non-sexual behaviors which generally lead the way to great nookie. So, yeah. and after many months and too many conversations, withholding has not gotten his attention. I just don't care. Affectionates just can't be with unaffectionates. Just too bad you can't always discern from the start whether they're unaffectionate or shy . ..

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 111 (view)

Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship? Posted: 11/24/2008 7:14:43 AM
Can Friends with Benefits turn into a Serious Relationship? Posted: 10/25/2006 8:01:57 PM Friends ........ sex .......... think about it ? You like them and you like the hot and sweaty stuff so why not ? pretty soon you might be best friends having sex and that would equate to soul mate material wouldn't it ? I would have thought so, but not necessarily . . . .

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Suggestions for envy of male best friend Posted: 10/20/2008 5:51:15 AM
WOW! Palomar and DJ, THANK you for putting this into some tangible perspective for me. Its been bugging the crap out me that, its been bugging the crap out of me, if you get what I mean. This does NOT need to be something that I allow to causee a problem between us, and these two ideas alone I'm going to put at the top of the list of my efforts. They make major sense. Its funny; I'd always contended I would be tolerant if I were dating a guy and he looked at chicks, but didn't make a big deal, because I figured, if he couldn't appreciate beauty elsewhere, what could he be thinking of me . . . and here I'm being tested on my own darn theory! Perspective is a trip sometimes . . . Still . . . any other inputs gratefully received!

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Suggestions for envy of male best friend Posted: 10/20/2008 3:09:49 AM
OP here -- thanks all you guys, for your thoughts. Just to clarify a little, sure, I am attracted to him, but our friendship is more important. What I really need some help with is how to manage my own thought processes. I know he doesn't do it to make me feel any sort of way, he is truly just relating details -- he's a man, thus visual. I need to find a way to more objectively absorb the info without the stress that seems to run thru me every time. This obviously is my problem, and like one you great guys said, I don't want to put any sort of obstruction on our communications either. He's good-heared and caring, and would never hurt me intentionally. Its just tough that I don't fall into that particular category. Thanks for all the input!

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Suggestions for envy of male best friend Posted: 10/19/2008 11:42:36 PM
My very best friend in the world is a good looking SOB w/a huge libido and handles himself very well socially. I'm a little more introverted, and somewhat less successful socially. My question here is, knowing in all honesty that I'm not a gorgeous babe, yet not horrible, it is hard to hear someof his comments about 'cute, gorgeous, and hot babes' he encounters and has successful interactions with. I realize it is some sort of jealousy, based on my own insecurity, and objectively accepting I don't fit into the 'hot' category. At the same time, he always is hoping the best for me in my manhunt. Any suggestions on how to get my head straight so that I don't cringe everytime he describes a lady as 'gorgeous', especially when I know it is no reflection on me or in any way a comparison of me? He's had previous self-esteem issues of his own, so I know alot of this is pride in his ability to attract the attention of women he deems to be great looking. I feel like an idiot, and I may screw up what's otherwise a great friendship if I don't fix this. Thanks . . . .

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

Touching - a 'girl' thing? Posted: 1/16/2008 7:25:06 AM
Not. I'm having the exact fight, right now, and worse yet, its a Long Distance thing. I'm getting tired. We've known each other over ten years, just started the actual relationship thing a year ago, and no progress is being made. I've cut him off, and seeing where that goes. I'm knowing the thing to do is probably going to be walk away . . .

Joined: 6/3/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Why won't he tell me he loves me? Posted: 6/25/2007 5:48:02 AM
My Version -- I'm LONG past 6 months with this guy. How about, we first got together more than ten years ago, but our encounters pretty much developed into friends with benefits. He never would express or indicate any particular attachment for me. So, I entertained other gentlemen callers. I moved away, following work, but he stayed in touch, and continued to want friendsw/Benefits. I was not otherwise seriously occupied, so I consented. Now, over ten years later, and 8 hours away, after things went socially horribly where I live, I proposed we have a long distance exclusive relationship. This I did over a year ago. In all this time, he makes no romantic commentary or notions toward me. I figure after a year of exclusivity, I've been patient (plus the other ten years or so!) I finally, slowly, tentatively, have been trying to inquire of him, what's the deal with the lack of expression. I don't get even the simple things like compliments on appearance, an occ. flower, present, nothing. But, when I ask him about 'things', his response is, "I'm still here, aren't I?" After all this time, am I not entitled to more expression from him? Or, as one other male friend suggested, could be he doesn't love me, despite ALL this time and patience put in? He's the introverted sort that's fine with the LongDistance thing and not out on the hunt (also over 45). I've never been a babe by anyone's standards, so compliments and other traditional cross gender behavior is like rain in a desert to me and would always be appreciated more than any material item. He also uses no terms of endearment. He will, however, occasionally tell me he doesn't want to 'share' me. Its obscene to me that anyone can be in a long distance relationship, where we maybe see each other once a month, and I can't even hear "I miss you" " Thanks for calling" "I really miss your voice/seeing you" "When are you coming back" There was a point at which I figure maybe the reason our connection had lasted so long is we were meant for each other, but I'm really beginning to wonder. Additionally, he's not terribly forthcoming with basic affectionate type behavior when we're together. I can excuse his lack of comfort with some aspects. However, I have made my specific wants known very clearly to him. he's not married, with no secret girlfriends, so there is no reason for me to be going without handholding and the like when we're together. And, he tells me he's uncomfortable with compliments, so I can't even get the ball rolling on my end by maybe being the flatterer . . . He's an introverted computer/automotive geek who lloves sci-fi and cartoons. Do I need to think about giving up on this?

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