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 Author Thread: Why don't some guys get it when you say 'I only see you as a friend'?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why don't some guys get it when you say 'I only see you as a friend'?
Posted: 6/18/2013 8:27:27 AM
I agree that a "No" with no explanation should sum it up quite nicely, and once you try to justify that "no", you open it up to negotiations, debate, convincing, and all that other stuff that some people just do not get, and will not accept.

If someone wants to enjoy me sexually, and I am not interested, being kind works only if they have the brains and understanding enough to know that it takes two to want sex, two to accept it, and two to follow through. When there is only one in that mix, they need to understand that "no" means just what it says, and leave it alone.

If someone is truly a good friend of yours, an explanation is fine and dandy, and because you two are really friends, that explanation will be the filler for the real word....."No", and nothing more needs to be said. My philosophy is to never go where not invited, and if invited, trust me, they will know if it is mutual or not!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
why would a guy be like this????
Posted: 6/17/2013 1:26:38 PM
Huh??????

This sounds so high school that it does not even need a discussion.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
waiting to go out
Posted: 6/17/2013 9:05:46 AM
So how long will you be an enabler for this man? How long will you do the "poor me" routine before you wise up?

There is one easy solution to this......set a specific time to meet and go out and if he is not there within 15 minutes of that time, and does not call or text, go out without him, say nothing and enjoy your evening. He will get the message, and even better......so will you!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
The Best Sex Ever....
Posted: 6/14/2013 8:13:08 AM
It has usually worked just the opposite for me over the years, and I seem to remember those that were just awful in bed, and lacked the desire and creativity to be much better, no matter how much I tried to help them out with that. Some are good and some are just plain terrible when it comes to sexual enjoyment.

There are those that were just awesome, and those that were good and got better with practice, but what I truly remember, are the ones I wanted to throw out of bed because of lack of ability, desire, and willingness to make that a very important part of their life and their partners.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 51 (view)
 
What steps are you taking to manage/slow your aging?
Posted: 6/12/2013 8:18:48 AM
Keep moving and do not become a couch potato, which so many do after the age of 50+.

Remember that your body is a temple and a machine that will work on what you put in it, and if you want it running smoothly, be careful of what you eat, how much, and know that the tank does not always need to be full to run smoothly. I think fasting a few times a year and cleansing your body is a good thing, and if one can not run anymore, then walk instead of using all the conveniences of society that surround you.

Now, the reality of it all becomes genetics and one can only overcome so much, and must understand that you can only work with what nature has given you......so do the the best you can with what you have and celebrate life!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do I apologize for being clingy before he mentions it?
Posted: 6/12/2013 8:12:35 AM
He may now feel inadequate with you because he could be thinking that you need to help him and think that he is not capable of doing it on his own. A common mistake made by many with all good intentions, but received far differently.

This is very similar to when women want to vent and men want to solve problems and move on, and thus they try to fix what you are not asking to be fixed, just to listen and let you get it all worked out yourself. The key is to offer and then step back and let that person decide if they need your help, want your help, or can do it on their own.

I do this with those women in my life by asking them upfront if this is a rant, a discussion, or do you want me to try and solve the problem that you are talking about. Some times we just need to step back, yet be there, and let those we care about, work it out on their own, until they ask for our help!

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Looking for mature insight
Posted: 6/4/2013 2:59:31 PM
Go to the profile review section and get some help. Once there ask about having someone take some pictures of you "looking" mature at least, not like a boy trying to become a man!!

Women over 30 want men who are mature, established, and can support their life style, their wants, needs and desires. They usually go younger for fun, not commitment, which I as imaging you are as well, but if that is the case, you still need to look mature enough to attract them and then tell them how young and inexperienced you are and maybe, just maybe, they will teach you, train you, and help you become that man!!

Good luck!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Back and Forth Messaging Etiquette
Posted: 6/4/2013 9:29:40 AM
Reply when you feel like it, or you have something to say, ask, and/or reply to.

There are no rules for emailing and staying in touch with others. If someone emails me and asks me a question, then I usually respond in a timely fashion, but if it is just general conversation, I might or might not get back to them for days, if at all. I will however, stay in touch with them, and if a week or two has gone by, I will give them a hello, or they me.

This "tit for tat" stuff is just so high school that I have little to no time to play that game.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Women can fix this!
Posted: 6/4/2013 8:27:16 AM
And here I thought it was...."location, location, location"....;)

OT.....There is no fixing a woman, just enjoying them until they try to fix you!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
A QUESTION ABOUT LIVING TOGETHER
Posted: 6/3/2013 1:27:50 PM
Make up a contract and have her pay rent. If you do not, depending on where you live, you could be considered common law married in as little as three months or less!

My suggestion is that you rent out her place and keep the lease and/or mortgage on it while she stays with you. Have it in writing about paying rent, and that her place and that rent is hers while your place and your mortgage is yours alone. If one of you sells your place and moves in with another, with no contract, the option is that you two planned on making it permanent, thus common law married.

Good luck!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 93 (view)
 
First Date Exit Strategy
Posted: 6/3/2013 12:23:42 PM
This is why that first meet and greet should have the parameters of being short unless the both of you want it to last longer.

I too, am of the impression that it does not matter where you meet, nothing really becomes boring if the two of you connect, have mutual attraction and can see the chemistry bubbling!! If not, saying thank you and paying your bill is nothing more than a way of saying "I do not see it, feel it, or want it"!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
No strings with a twist.
Posted: 6/3/2013 12:06:12 PM
Well my suggestion to you is to use protection at all levels.......Condom's, testing, and packing a nice small concealed weapon....other than your penis!!....;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Would You Go To A Wedding Dateless?
Posted: 6/3/2013 12:03:28 PM
Of course I have and did not worry about it at all......In fact, I have been invited out by some at the wedding's because they were single and alone too.....Go figure!

Now, why is it that there are those that are at the wedding, definitely married and yet hit on those of us single? Just wondering!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
missed connections...
Posted: 6/3/2013 9:15:46 AM
You have everything right in front of you to make that connection since your dad bought the car and it is now yours to use.

Why not call, and ask a few questions about the car and/or maintenance of it and make sure that it is directed to this young man, and then make up some reason that you will be in that town and near the dealership and and ask if he would like to help you out with a couple of things dealing with the car.

I bet he would and so would you!! Life is to short not to give yourself the opportunity to enjoy someone that interests you, and give it a chance to happen.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Talking about children in your profile?
Posted: 6/3/2013 8:59:31 AM
General comments about having children is one thing, but specifics another, and I would avoid specifics unless you need that information out there because of what you need in your life and/or what you can offer.

Many of us have completed raising our kids and enjoy them as young adults, but have little desire to raise more that are very young. Even if you have a younger child in the house, your time is important and it takes two to make a baby, and in my mind, those two to raise them equally. If you have the father of your children as a main cog in that machine of raising them, and not using the kids for some sort of revenge or manipulation to get what you want or get even, then you should also have some free time for you to have a personal relationship too.

If this is not the case, you are not ready to date unless you are looking for someone to replace the kids father, and that is another topic for discussion totally.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Did I blow a date I didn't know I was on?
Posted: 6/3/2013 8:52:06 AM
The empty seat between you is like a huge red flag being raised, and you are just not seeing it!

You lady friend knew at dinner that you may want more and that she was not interested, and from that point on, she gave you every indication of distance, and not wanting you to invade her space. You have a friend there and she does not want to cross that line, so respect her request and move on to another that may want more, and just keep this female in your friend zone, with nothing more!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Do other guys have this fear?
Posted: 6/3/2013 8:23:42 AM
I am mature and experienced enough after all these years of being single, to know when a female is interested or not, and if our interests are mutual, those next steps of getting to know each other and dating, becomes a matter of coordinating calendars.

The real problem happens when one person has no clue about the other and just hopes that they will not say "no", and that takes many of us back to our youth, rejection, and all those other things that happen when one is trying so hard to be accepted, liked, and socially interactive.

I say tread lightly and be specific with those you might be interested in, and look at body language, listen to comments, and know that most, if not all women, know that they send out signals of interest or not and one should heed those signals.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Requesting more text communication
Posted: 5/31/2013 9:36:44 AM
Maybe her phone has a spectacular vibrate mode and that is why she is sooooooo into it??....;)

For those who need to have their phone attached to their hand all the time, I say enjoy it, call it "bob", and move on. I have little time for making one of my phones more than a tool for communication as needed, not as wanted, demanded, or insisted!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Etiquette Question
Posted: 5/31/2013 9:08:31 AM
If you make your profile specific enough, most will get what you want and what you are asking for from others, as well as yourself!!

Some just like to window shop and hope that one day they will be able to afford the price of buying what is in that window, while others place theirs on "lay away" and make monthly payments on their purchase. If you are looking for someone that can afford you now, walk in and purchase you without having to think about it, or save up, then you had better explain who and what you are looking for, and only accept those invitations from those that meet your expectations.

Life is to short to wonder about it all when one can just open up more and communicate what they really want, why, and how that will be......for them!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Couldn't Go Out With Him Once, Now He Rejects My Invites
Posted: 5/31/2013 9:01:41 AM
It is good that you reach out to him and treat him like you want to be treated, but somehow it becomes much more of how you say what you say, over what you said in the first place!

If you like him and think he is worth it........invite him to have dinner at your place, and tell him that you think he is worth the effort and you want to be worth it too! He will either make the effort then, or let you know that he is not ready, willing, and/or able.

Ah....communications.....the key ingredient to every cake baked!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Not making a good first impression?
Posted: 5/22/2013 2:08:59 PM
Ok Phoenix....a solution can be for you to only make contact with those you are interested in and forget all the others. You become the assertive one and invite them for a drink and I bet that they will remember you......I know that I do with those that invite me.....unless there is no interest from start, but then I never even let it happen.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Going with the flow vs. Charting the Course?
Posted: 5/22/2013 10:32:57 AM
Talk about "one size fits all" question and thought process!!

I have been with women that can not wait to invite me to dinner at their place and enjoy it all before during and after, and others that feel the need to take me to their priest and/or counselor before diving in to the next part of enjoying each other. There are no givens with this, other than the every present awesome chemistry that if and when it happens, clothes will be flying sooner or later, and it will take the two of you to decide, when, where, and how!

The intent is usually there......If you are attractive and we like each other a lot, if we have chemistry that pushes us to want to get naked as soon as possible, and if we see all the signs of being compatible, the end result is usually the same and here is the key.......and wanted by both equally!!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Not making a good first impression?
Posted: 5/22/2013 9:54:08 AM
I can't imagine someone asking to meet you again without saying "remember me", or they have so many that they have done the "meet and greet" with that your new pictures does not ring a bell with them compared to your meeting?

Most times, if the "meet and greet" goes well, and there is that attraction with bubbling chemistry, not only do they remember you, they will rush to find ways to connect again sooner over later! You will have to draw your own conclusions from there!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
why did he make plans with me then stop communicating?
Posted: 5/22/2013 9:49:13 AM
The only way to really know OP, is to be an equal and ask him, but be prepared to hear what you might not want to hear!!

My guess is that you touched on parts of his past and/or life that he is not ready to share with yet, or takes him to some very uncomfortable places from the past and certain relationships. There are times that people mean well with questions and comments, but really do not know yet the one they are with enough to be asking them.

Now, my gut tells me something different, but I am not sure if you want to hear this? You two were getting along great, emailing, texting, phoning I bet, and then doing the meet and greet and then date one, date two and now date three and maybe your body language and/or comments put a hold on all that next stuff that we all so enjoy, and he could tell, feel, and know that you were not into him the same way he was you, or you wanted a long term relationship for the future and he wanted it for now!

It is like someone knocking on your door and offering you a chance to buy an air-conditioner for little to nothing, as long as they can use you for advertising, and then when push comes to shove time, you find out that it still costs you much and their intent was much different from yours.......bang....as I close the door and go back to work!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Possible Red Flag?
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:47:49 AM
Why not step back and deal with this man and your dating life, the way you want to, and not allow another to control the situation and thus you?

He can say what he likes to say, or what he thinks you might like to hear, but it is up to you to answer, or even acknowledge the statement in any fashion....until you want to. You have not even met and you are making this small mole hill into a mountain for no real reason. You are in charge of yourself, your dating, and who you let in to your inner circle, so do it as you want to, and if he can not adjust to that......move on!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:50:42 AM
Why not use this site, or any social site for that matter, as just another tool in your quest for finding others to know and enjoy?

Think of POF like a car dealership that has hundreds of pictures of the kind of cars you like and might be interested in seeing up close and personal, and maybe owning one day. Once you see what you like, do you not usually go down to that dealership and look at the vehicle in person? Do you not walk around it, sit in it, take it for a drive and then decide if it just might be the one you want? You might do this with 10 to 20 vehicles that you seem interested in, and hopefully one or two will be in you price range, your desires, and have all those whistle and bells that make you happy. Then, you have to negotiate with the owner about price, warranty, repairs, etc., and you may end up with it, or move on to the next.

Imagine how many of us use to shop for cars in the old days, taking a lot of time driving from dealership to dealership, and seeing what is available that may peak our interest. Some just find their choice immediately, some compromise, and others will take as long as they need to, before buying that choice of theirs. The internet has helped many of us do the searching on line, and have it be more convenient, but then we still have to do the work of making sure that the choice we see, is really what we want, and that means going there in person and finding out.

So is it with POF and other social sites, and the convenience of searching is there, but the hard work of weeding all down to that one and finding out, still exists. Some can go down to their local bar and find another immediately, some compromise, and yet many of will take the time to find the right one, even if it takes many many bars, clubs, social groups, etc., and for me, POF just adds another way to do the same thing!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 121 (view)
 
The my place date
Posted: 5/19/2013 9:30:07 AM
The "my place" date usually means that I am comfortable enough with you to bring you home, or you take me to your place, and then we "both" decide together what will or will not happen, and accept it!

If and when that "date" is going to happen, that is when I bring up the whole health thing, pregnancy, birth control, testing, on and on, with an understanding that it must be mutually wanted, and mutually handled, and I will show you mine if you show me yours, including whatever health tests are asked for by one or both.

Being sexual is wonderful, but being careful about that sexuality, even more. Life is to short to take chances that are just unnecessary and plain stupid. If there is one place that mutual consideration and concern should happen.....it is in the bedroom and enjoying each other sexually.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
No attraction after 3 kisses?
Posted: 5/19/2013 9:11:20 AM
Another case of "because you were into it.....he must be"......and now you know yet again, that it takes two to feel it and if not there by both, one will move on while the other wonders why!

It is called chemistry, and he may have thought you very attractive, but once spending time with you and kissing, the connections just were not there to take it to the next step! You should thank this man for being up front and honest with you, instead of letting your attraction to him take hold, and then you would end up here telling us how yet another bad man used you and once having you, threw you away!!

He was mature enough to know that he wants more than just a one night stand, and he is looking for that, and no matter how nice you may be, you are nothing more in his mind, so he told you and you should respect it and move on!

Good luck......

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How much of a difference do pictures make?
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:46:53 AM
I have also had many many "meet and greets", and can tell within 10 minutes if I am interested or not in the potential for more. Keeping the meets as just a cup of coffee or a drink together, and nothing more is the best way to give each the chance to enjoy that drink and leave if wanted, or stay if wanting that more.

There have been those that I have met that were absolutely betting looking in person, and if their personality matched their attractiveness, we have "lift off" Houston.....but unfortunately far more are not that close to their pictures, or they are much older, or much heavier, and then it all crashes unless their personality can maintain my interest as a friend.

Life is to short to waste time on things you know are not what you want, and as long as you can be kind, considerate, and thoughtful, as you make that decision, I am fine with it! Spending 30 minutes or less talking to a potential is not that hard to do, and if not interested, just say thank you and wish them well, pay your bill, and leave with your head held high.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Having a relationship with zero sexual intimacy
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:28:36 AM
I have quite a few "non sexual" relationships, and they are called "friends"!! Some are closer to me than others, but all have one thing in common, and that is being a friend.

If I am attracted to someone, and it is mutual, and we have that chemistry, then we have the potential to cross that line of friendship, and be more, if both are free and available, and that always includes "sex" in some way, shape, and form........go figure!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Mixed messages
Posted: 5/16/2013 8:07:33 AM
This is why we all need to take things slowly, and in a manner that would not create more expectations then there should be, on either side.

You just met, you like the feeling, the chemistry and the hormones raging yet again, but you need to step back and let things happen at the pace that works for both. He could be busy, have family commitments, friends to see, others that he is dating, on and on, so why fret over it?

If he likes you, he will call, and if you like him, you can do the same. There are no rules for dating anymore, and equality has its up and downside, so be an equal and deal with it!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Can an idealist and a realist 'find love' (or you know date successfully)
Posted: 5/3/2013 2:59:26 PM
It is all in the presentation and how often you decide to present to others!!

Men are far different from women in this area, and I have learned a very valuable lesson........That many times women just want to vent and have someone listen to them venting. With this in mind, I have a standard that I present to those I am dating or close to........And that is........Let me know if you are just venting or if you really need help, advice, and/or fixing, because the listening is one thing for a man, but solving totally different!

Most men are brought up to be problem solvers, and if we hear things, we immediately go into the solving mode and some of us just get tired of it all, and then tune it and you out. Let them know up front that it is a venting situation, and you can fix it all on your own, and present it in such a way that others will want to stay and hear you out!!

Good luck.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 73 (view)
 
CRADLE SNATCHING
Posted: 5/3/2013 11:14:13 AM
There comes a time when it is no longer considered "cradle snatching", but much more "rocker robbing".......;)

Just had to do it!!....smiles

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 218 (view)
 
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 5/3/2013 10:36:47 AM
I have been eliminated by some because of telling them my age when asked later in our dating, and how surprised they were that I am not the age they thought......go figure

It is so funny how so many get caught up on the age thing when they have been having fun with that person all along, and then all of a sudden, something is wrong. I have dated those older and those younger, and it has never mattered to me, as long as we are enjoying each other, and compatible.

Maybe it is an image problem for those that date others and then they find out that they are not the same age, and yet others keep on commenting how good you look and you now know that you are years younger than the one getting the compliment!

It may have mattered when I was 18 or even 20, but once I moved on in life, age was nothing more then a point on the calendar, and it was far more important how I felt about myself and those with me.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
He's still posting pics...
Posted: 5/3/2013 8:44:35 AM
He may have hidden his profile as well, but you can see it because you have been in contact with him, or have him on your favorites list......So, how do you know?

Let me tell you that I much prefer someone that changes out their pictures more often, over those that have been on here for years and still have the same pictures up and wanting others to think that they are current........Oh, and by the way, I have my profile hidden and have for years, yet keep it updated for my friends and those interested to stay in touch......;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Lowered Standards is really a lame excuse for being Human
Posted: 5/3/2013 8:40:02 AM
You had better enjoy that person, be attracted to them and desire them, or you have just move them into your friend zone.

I can tell you that I have met and dated some very attractive women in my life, and both my heads were up and paying attention.....until they opened their mouth and we actually had to spend time together. On the other side of this coin, I have spent time with women that at first did not move me to such a degree, but as we got to know each other, the total of their make up, especially their minds made them look much better in my eyes, and they seemed to be more attractive.

The point still is there that one needs to be moved enough to start with, to even try......and this is the foundation for desire.....go figure!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Called me a survivor
Posted: 5/3/2013 8:22:43 AM
Maybe it is because you are walking around with that life vest on??....;)

None of us of experience, will be brand new, and I bet we all have nicks and bangs on us from life. We can be a well oiled machine, and have a good mechanic that takes care of us, or we do it ourselves, but without exception, life will either make you a survivor or you will perish!

He meant it as a compliment, and if you did not take it that way, there is only one person that can explain it! Ask him.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Should I be worried..
Posted: 4/30/2013 10:59:48 AM
My profile has been hidden for years, for many reasons, and yet I get emails from others that have ventured into my profile one way or another.

Being on POF does not mean that you are actively seeking dates, or wanting to hook up with someone new. It just means that you have acquired yet another social network that can be used in many ways, by many people, and should not be considered only one way....as a dating site.

Life is to short to worry about someone and if they have their profile still around on POF, or any other social network. If someone wants to be with you, they will, and if you constantly feel the need to check up on them, and/or guard yourself and their being single, you are not where you should be, not with whom you should be with, and you are not in a place that works for yourself, let alone others.

I am an "oldie but goodie" on this site, and have had people come and go, relationships that were short term and long term, and I feel no need to apologize for using this site as a spring board to social situations and to keep in touch with friends and potentials. If one can not know this about me and see what is deep inside, they should just turn and not let the door hit them is their ass, as they leave.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 272 (view)
 
Dancing
Posted: 4/30/2013 10:47:23 AM
And here I dance my way "out" of things like that......lol

Whatever works for each of you and your desires is good for me, and I am more than happy to compromise to a point to let others enjoy their own dreams, while I reserve the right to enjoy mine!!...;)

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How do I get this guy off my back?
Posted: 4/26/2013 9:27:24 AM
Just send him your comments here and then block him on your phone and all on line communications. That should do it!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Such a turn of is when a man.....
Posted: 4/26/2013 9:23:09 AM
Many of us have received such unexpected and unwanted pictures and/or views on the cam!! Timing is everything, and some men, and yes women, have no sense of timing. This is not limited to pictures sent, but also to conversations and once together, unexpected and inappropriate sexual advances.

Now, saying all of this, I repeat timing is everything, and most women I know enjoy and want to be sensual and sexual, on line, on the phone, and of course in person, BUT they prefer to know you well enough to have that be a natural process as you two get sexual with each other. The key here is to wait to be invited and not act like a bull in a china shop and knock everything over with your overtures!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What should I do ... anything or nothing?
Posted: 4/25/2013 12:46:20 PM
And what did you do for HIM on Valentines Day? And what did you do for HIM on his Birthday? And what romantic things did you send him, suggest or invite him to?

Sounds like this man is not ready to commit to a real relationship, but then again, I do not think that you are either if you did not do some of the same things for him as you wanted him to do for you! Equality is a **** and sometimes you must "either lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way"!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 62 (view)
 
CRADLE SNATCHING
Posted: 4/24/2013 2:18:10 PM
The snatch part intrigues me......but.....the cradle part does not!!....;) The rest just happens!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 112 (view)
 
It's been a year, he won't give me oral!
Posted: 4/24/2013 1:35:47 PM
Have the man install a "bidet" in each and every bathroom you have and use it.......makes significant difference over just wiping, and much cleaner.....for both genders, and guess what.......the side benefit makes oral sex oh so much better!!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
He acted like he was doing me a favour by dating me.
Posted: 4/24/2013 9:51:33 AM
Come on OP......He really did not want to pay, and if he had to, he was going to let you and everyone else know what a nice guy he was taking care of poor you!!

And you want to hang around and date this guy why???? He sounds like he is just turning 20 and has the social graces of a child in a candy store!! Run baby run!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 9:10:51 AM
Good analogy Mae......."I know what the chances are of meeting someone on a dating site but I think of it like buying a lotto ticket....if I don't buy one, I will never win anything *grins*"

If one spends all their time, money and energy on a dating site for that one and only, they might as well just go out and use that money to buy lottery tickets!! This site is just a tool in your tool box, and unfortunately for far to many, their tool box is very small and very limited!!

I use the analogy for dating and social sites as one of needing a nice warm coat and grabbing one from the closet and finding a $100 bill in it!! Life can be good when you least expect it!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 325 (view)
 
Sensuality in your 50's.....
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:43:49 PM
"My opinion is, if you are a sensual being you will attract another sensual being."

You bet "bogie"........That has always been my feeling and seems to be my reality.....;) Sensual people gravitate to other sensual people, and even if they do not know it yet, they find out once with another that is very sensual!!...;)

The story of my life, and my pleasure, and the only time it creates a problem, is when the one you are with hopes to be sensual with you, like you, and for you, and tries very hard but can not sustain that sensuality and then you have a failed marriage and/or relationship, or you compromise for the sake of the marriage/relationship, and become complacent in order to survive.

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is he just lonely?
Posted: 4/22/2013 3:50:11 PM
"I don't think you're obligated to find him a therapist, either, OP. I can't even imagine having had to find therapists for even a small percentage of the 70 guys I went on first dates with."

Lmao.......It is just that I have a list of therapists from those that I have dated over the years and happy to supply those names that might fit.......Nothing more.....nothing less!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is he just lonely?
Posted: 4/22/2013 2:52:15 PM
He wants an escape........a way to turn off the past and hurt that he is feeling, yet his heart is not ready for a new relationship.....just an escape! Now, if you do not mind being that escape and enjoy sacrificing yourself for the moment and the person, all could work, but if you are looking for much more, find a good counselor for him and move on!

cd
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Bad First Date, Apology After?
Posted: 4/21/2013 3:42:28 PM
Maybe if you were enthralled with this man and physically attracted to him, pursuing that wonderful chemistry.........that to reach over and touch his arm with one hand and put your finger on his lips with the other hand, and say, you do not have to do it all right now, so relax and let it flow slowly........would have had him take a breath and give you both a chance to find out!!

When someone is nervous, they do very often ramble and try to fill any void with words, and you being calm, relaxed, and in charge, can put them at ease and let the fun begin........just a thought!

cd
 
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