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gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Things men and women don’t know about each other? Posted: 5/22/2013 9:54:13 AM
and now for the one guys wish SOME women knew--and forgot to add to this list: if you post pictures of your ass, two photos looking down your cleavage, and otherwise want to make certain a man knows exactly what your body looks like....you WILL get horny guys doing what they can to let you know how horny your photos make them. Do you deserve it? no. Are you asking for it? yes. you want guys to know what your body looks like...why? don't you offer more than that? then show it in the photos, taken while you're doing whatever it is you offer. if you don't want sleazy emails, don't put up sleazy photos. :)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

Thunderstorms! Posted: 5/22/2013 9:32:23 AM
Lightening is kewl huh huh, and I lucked out to actually get a picture of it once...was trying to capture the sunset thru the dark clouds, and when I got the photo developed, there it was, the proverbial bolt of blue. The odds of it hitting you, however, are about the same as hitting Powerball, if I remember correctly. Assuming you don't stand in waterpuddles or some such increaser of your odds :) I'd rather pull a lass up to her feet by weaving my fingers in her's and bringing her to close to do what's natural in the face of nature's energy, then worry about getting zapped...but hey...to each their own :)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Where to meet when some distance is involved? Posted: 5/22/2013 9:18:47 AM
frankly, if she isn't willing to put a little effort into things by driving a little distance herself...she ain't that much interested. I know from experience :). for a LDR to work, both parties have to want it enough to invest in it. we always accept what falls into our lap. its a good test to see if she's willing to put herself out a little bit, just as you're doing.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What to do? Posted: 5/22/2013 9:16:14 AM
you know the EXACT type of guy she finds attractive...so attractive she wants to have kids with the guy (why else get married, for a sense of security? to leach off his paycheck?). Are YOU that type of guy? Are you that bad to women? If not...she ain't gonna find you hot. imagine her not being so hot and how it would make you look and feel to date her. would her insecurity make her attractive? she put the a-hole on speaker phone on purpose, didn't try to hide it like an embarassed person would. she'll forever be a lazy person looking to be saved by others. she's looking for the lowest level of attention, which she gets from this guy and you. if it wasn't for her looks, you'd spot all the other places she does this. you don't, and won't, treat her as poorly as she believes she should be treated, b/c you keep going off on how awesome she is. think he does that? your mom knows you, and knows her well enough to be friends. you two have things in common, but she wants a guy who treats her as poorly as she believes she should be. you just won't drop down to that level, you'll always put her up on a pedestal so she can make you look as good.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Thunderstorms! Posted: 5/22/2013 5:43:10 AM
Loved it in the city...the smell of the ionized air before and the feel of the breeze that let you know something wet was coming...the sky would change, and so would the lighting...I had a big picture window overlooking trees, would watch the pine branches sway and then listen to the fat raindrops tink tink tink on the metal airconditioner before they'd pat pat pat splatter on the window. then the thunder would come. You could predict it before it happened, and then wait patiently. Long ago I realized surge protectors in every plug was the answer after losing a 56K modem, so no real fear. No more than riding a motorcyle--something may go wrong, but you take precautions and the odds go down rather than you. Those are the times I do miss not having someone around, its like wasted potential :) Its the best white background noise.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

About to Lose my Best Friend.... Posted: 5/19/2013 4:54:15 PM
wait, S is sick of ALL the bullshit? what does "all" mean? that this isn't the first time she's overreacted when she didn't get her way? or that you haven't told us the whole story? I'm guessing its probably the former...she's done this before, and you haven't picked up on it. It hasn't fluttered like a red flag. But, usually we don't recognize red flags when they look a heckuva lot like our own. so it could be that S would tell us some backstory that would explain more to this story. Yes, you and R could have both mentioned bringing S along. Maybe that was caused by some self-focus on your part, the likes of which S is showing with her huge end-of-the-world blowups she's showing you. consider how many times she's gone this far off the edge before. were they valid? if not...letting her go won't be a bad thing, and she may come back when she realizes she doesn't have many friends like you. or if you decide she hasn't gone off half****d before, then go ahead and apologize and smooth things over. who cares if you don't believe it, so long as she does and you get a good friend back?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

motivated towards pleasure or away from pain? Posted: 5/19/2013 11:13:42 AM
it is interesting, I didn't say I READ Tony Robbins, I read an INTERPRETATION of him. In other words, someone else's opinion of what he said. But people went with it where they wanted to go. to paraphrase a Japanese saying, just because an idiot speaks, doesn't mean he can't repeat wisdom. (or at least something that makes you think.:) thesis->antithesis->synthesis). I don't know if TR ever did a spray on hair commerical, if I'm awake that late, I'm out of the house :0 lol According to the Internet, he relies on neuro-linguistic programming, also called NLP, and Ericksonian hypnosis, for most of what he sells. you can Google each and find the criticisms and weaknesses. that's the only opinion I'll give on the issue so far, waiting to see what others will do with this idea...IgorF did bring up a point, some people consider pain to be a pleasure. Let's assume for the sake of argument, however, "pain" is defined by their standards, not by our own.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

motivated towards pleasure or away from pain? Posted: 5/19/2013 9:09:00 AM
I was just reading an interpretation of Tony Robbins, claiming that people are either motivated to move away from pain and discomfort in their lives (and the further away they get, the lower their motivation gets) or are motivated towards pleasure. I gather it depends upon how your childhood was, to determine where you've decided in life your motivation lies (ie, what is most important to you). Do you think people could be "either/or"? do you think they just alternate from time to time, or as they go thru life? What affect on relationships do you think there is, if one partner was merely motivated to avoid pain, and the other was motivated to chase pleasure above other things?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

Why do men act like they are always busy? Posted: 5/19/2013 7:15:21 AM
1) 'cause women are dumb enough to think this is attractive :) no, really, consider a guy who had plenty of time to call you all the time, every day, ask how you're doing...boring, right? turn off, right? the first thing you think is, "well, he doesn't do much with his life", like that's a bad thing :) even the dating coaches tell you, "act too busy". its the male version of women's "play hard to get". 2)why be on a dating site if you honestly have no time ?b/c that's the second reason for the Internet--you do things you don't have time for, during those moments of the day when you have spare time. Like shop online during workhours (you've heard of CyberMonday, after BlackFriday?). 3)If someone doesn't have the time to make you a priority, the only thing you lost was a hot body. You didn't lose a hot personality. now, depending upon what you're here to get...that's either good or bad :)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Great sex without orgasm - sounds weird, but anyone experienc this? Posted: 5/19/2013 7:07:50 AM
Sting mentioned he went seven hours, but it was tantric sex. as for non-tantric sex, some people like to be taken, some romanced. In other words, fast and hard and intense, or slow and soft/gentle and durational. Get two mis-matched desires, but have both holders of those desires be real interested in each other, and the sex may not have many orgasms, but its time well spent between two people who desire each other, as well as desiring an orgasm.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Things men and women don’t know about each other? Posted: 5/17/2013 8:14:09 PM
since you asked, LG2727...SOME guys like the railskinnies b/c fashion chooses them. Clothing designers want "clothes hangers" to model the clothes with no distracting curves. SOME guys see that and think, "wow, she's on a runway, that must be the type of girl I need to have on my arm!" And so, monkey see, monkey do. Some people just don't want the effort of thinking for themselves. tho, to be fair, some skinny-minnies have more confidence as a result of the attention, and that can be attractive to either sex. I work w/ a bag of bones who has a sweet personality and brains, and that makes her attractive in a general sense...but I would rather they be located in a curvy body (hey, I'm a guy who can quote the lyrics from the Go-Go's "Throw Me A Curve.") so she won't be worrying about me dating her. my first gf was skinny, and cuddling w/ her was a literal pain. the only bone I want to feel in bed is my own :) everyone has their own preferences, that's how natural selection works.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

Do Women Like Being Told They are Hot and Sexy? Posted: 5/17/2013 8:04:15 PM
1)is she looking at the floor, at her child, at her phone...or is she looking about? If she looks ready to engage with people, a compliment may not hurt (see #3) but if she's distracted, then a conversation of any sort is just one more stimuli to process. 2) how is she dressed? if she's done up to the nines, it could be a nice "outside opinion" of what she already knows (how would she have chosen the appropriate clothes for her, if she didn't know what to highlight?). If she's slummin' in jeans, she'll figure there's a reason behind what you said (see again #3). 3)it should be a statement, not...anything else. it shouldn't feel like you're looking for a response. it shouldn't be a win-over. she shouldn't feel a need to verbally deflect anything you will say to follow it. 4) frankly, what's the weather outside? a first day of spring, the sun is the air, people are finally leaving their jackets at home ,can make one more willing to take a compliment than another rainy, cold, miserable day outside. 5)in other words, does it look like she feels she's hot? she's gonna wonder why you're saying it, if she doesn't even feel it. 6) as many women have pointed out, a compliment from a hot stranger or bf is great. some women won't see it as objectifying b/c frankly put, they know they offer little else, so they're just being acknowledged for the only thing they offer--its no worse than calling a math major "smart" or an athlete "skilled" or a skilled worker "talented". It comes back to #3. Are you saying it for your benefit...or her's? if its for her benefit, you have to be able to read her to determine if she really wants you to say it...or keep it to yourself.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Things men and women don’t know about each other? Posted: 5/15/2013 3:39:49 PM
so, how much of this list was meant to be humourous, and how much meant to be serious? let's add number 14 to the list of things men should know about women (btw, why is their list longer? do they make themselves more of a mystery?): 14)when I ask what you see in me, what I really mean is, "what do I make you feel when you're with me?" That works better than a laundry list of actual things you see in me, which requires me to determine the value of those things to you. let's add number 12 to the list of things women don't know about men, but men wish they did: 12)we like to be asked out, too....for the same reason. we like to be desired by desireable women.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 115 (view)

PROBLEM with stepkid Posted: 5/12/2013 7:03:28 PM
so, it sounds like a middle child acting out for attention (not material things, but attention) like middle children sometimes do. that would explain the bullying, and the chasin' tail. get a book on that, understanding it may help make it less of a mystery, and more...well...tolerable. as for respecting the hubby, notice he did a better job w/ the other three kids. keep that as a measuring stick for his parenting ability. this can get handled--I have an ex w/ a TBI from when she was 18yrs old, who married into a family w/ kids acting out, and she's defying med science who says there's no way she can handle a job, these kids, and having her own biological son w/ the dad w/ her TBI. he's emotionally distance, so yes, she is divorcing him, but that's nothing to do w/ the kids. she's doing more for them than their biological parents are, so what I'm saying is, there's some options you have to return your sense of control in your own house. get to know the problem w/ the kid. get to know WHY the problem was created. don't play the blame game w/ dad, reason with him and show him the rational path to take to making this kid into something of an adult (you can't make people do what they don't want to do, but you can show them the path and let them take it.)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Questions too personal? Posted: 5/11/2013 6:36:42 PM
when someone won't answer the question...they've answered the question. consider if the guy wasn't so hot...if he failed to let you in, what would your decision be? in other words, would be an obvious red flag, or wouldn't it be one? its dating...if he isn't trying to impress you with who he is, or wanting you to want him and helping you to want him by letting you know what a great catch he is....wouldn't you say prying is a red flag? i mean, if you're hot for someone...do you honestly keep your mouth closed, or get diarhea of the mouth? the best way to get answers, tho, isn't so much to ask the right questions...but to pay attention. Does he talk like he's a big wage earner, yet drives an old car while wearing a fake Rolex, doesn't talk about traveling to locations except his local bar, seems to make decisions based upon how much it will cost, et cetera? Have you met many wealthy people who live poor? (and if you have, how much fun were they?) I don't mean frugal, I mean poor--like they are truly limited in choices in life, b/c they are. Does a fellow talk as if he's a decision maker at work, a leader, yet can't make a decision on a date? In other words, does his stories about his everyday life not match up with what he claims to be? we tend to live as we...live. we tend to be ourselves, you know, everywhere we go. if you are actually jekyll and hyde...that may be a red flag. look past the hot looks, pay attention to what's really there--not what you wish was there, not how it makes you feel that, wow, you finally met a guy who acts like he's big money (yet he's actually cheap and limited on a date).

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

I've forgotten... everything... Posted: 5/11/2013 6:32:46 PM
Ponder the bright side, SaraLee (yes, I know, not the spelling, but there's not just brown bears around here who want to eat you : ) )...were you an average looking lass, no one would be pulling a "my uh, life is bigger than your's" contest upon you. They'd just go, "eh, I wouldn't bugger her" or "she's not hot enough to compete with me" and move on to some other hotties' post where they could drop names. kind of like the old saying, "if they're shooting at you, you must be accomplishing something." my worst POF dating story, is not getting much of any dating stories :) Actually, there was one that could have gone well but fizzled...but...she may still be here under another name, so no sense in mentioning it publically. She too could be mechanically inclined, quite hawt in a female (for those who ask what turns a man on). no wonder the fellow in the OP admitted she was amazing. but, sometimes we are nice just to make ourselves feel better...and get a poor result as a result. you didn't get hurt, hopefully lessons were learned, and we'll all move along.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

ideas for speed dating icebreakers Posted: 5/11/2013 6:17:55 PM
5 minutes? shoot, that's about how long you get in real life, standing in line behind someone you realize is hot. what would you do to initiate convo? pretty much talk about what's around you. See if the person talks the way you do (compassionate about your nervousness, or going instantly into a comparison of the 8 part Animatrix series (look it up if you don't know) or resorting to cynical putdowns and complaints or resorting to one word answers) and eventually decide that there's a comfort level you two naturally reach...or not. me, I'd be thrilled to sit in front of someone who talks (as a fellow, I suppose I'm the one who moves about). Let them talk naturally, notice what they wore to impress (or not to), and I figure it'd be easy to read people in 5 minutes. The big problem is just that you're paying $35 (around here) to get in, so you feel like you lost the money if you didn't succeed. Adds a desperation quotent to it, for some people.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

When you have broken nearly every rule in the book. Posted: 5/11/2013 6:09:54 PM
we humans ALWAYS gravitate towards what makes us feel good. always. you do what you do b/c it makes you feel good. the problem is, what feels good may not always be the right or best thing. that means, you have to decide what is good for you, feels good. you have to respect what you see in the mirror, like it, provide your own needs for yourself, be less needy, etc. following rules for dating is like taking cold medicine daily while still exposing yourself to germs. Or playing in traffic while wearing a cushioned body suit with bullet resistant armor. You can't protect yourself from yourself. you have to instead decide to stop acting like your old self. then you won't need the rules, b/c acting in a respectful way will become as natural as breathing--you breath b/c you need to, and b/c it feels good to refresh your lungs. you don't even think about it, your body just does it. you prioritize others who don't do the same, b/c getting their attention is worth more to you than getting your own attention. getting them to like you is more important than you liking you. yes, you do a lot of activities, and that's good. but you won't prioritize yourself until...you....prioritize yourself. when you accomplish that, there won't be any more weak moments, b/c there won't be...any reason to have a weak moment. so long as you have your own company, you will always have great company. if someone is smart enough to want to share that, great. if they aren't, or they are busy with something, then all you'll have left is....your own great company. you'll never felt you lost something, b/c you always have something--yourself. you never give it away, you always share it. until then, the rules, the activities, those are all training wheels that keep you upright until you find yourself--and when you do that, then you'll always be upright. so simple, yet so hard, huh? :) training wheels are temporary, not meant to be permanent. they keep you upright while you practice being upright on your own.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

The Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone (aka the AFE Zone or A-Spot) Posted: 5/7/2013 6:03:10 PM
If little gingersnap hasn't quintupled her emails, I'll eat my hat :) I'll throw into the mix another move, I found out about it when the lass I lost my cherrie to complained one night of menstral cramps. I did a circular massage in a place that made sense to me, while her jeans were still worn, and within a minute she was quite frisky and telling me to go get a condom. I won't say more than that, b/c finding any treasure location is fun :) But for those lucky enough to be partnered, try it out as the first move before going for other g-spots and x-spots and y spots and leopard spots and such :)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

How does one let things go? Posted: 5/7/2013 5:52:43 PM
why did she date someone else? because it felt good to her. why did she unburden her guilt onto your unprepared shoulders? because it felt good to her (to lose the guilt and now feel like an honest person for doing so). there are other things she does because it feels good to her to do so. if they bite you in the ass, then you'll recognize them as such. until then, they'll seem like behavior much your own.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Can I pick your collective brains, for a second? Posted: 4/30/2013 6:12:41 PM
If you had Croen's or some allergic reaction to only the types of food you could get at the local store, then you'd be in a similar situation--what your nature enjoys, causes problems for you. the solution, of course, would be to find different food to eat. Until then, you're reluctance to do something that should be pleasurable, would make sense. you will, frankly, have to stop being attracted to people who cause trouble by disrespecting you. you will have to stop feeling comfortable around people who can excuse self-centered behavior. to do both, will require more respect for yourself. Having respect for yourself will reveal the disrespectful right at the start, not after their behavior has finally bit everyone else and made its way to you.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Extreme body mods Posted: 4/30/2013 5:49:43 PM
Have a convo on transhumanism, and see her reaction. Or simply be yourself--I've never known a piercer who was plain vanilla. Like the part about being interested in magnetic fields--who the hell knows they even exist? Some woman wanting more than just to tickle your pickle is going to pay attention to the words coming out your mouth, and think, "hmm, this guy thinks on a different wavelength than I do" or she will think, "wow, he's serious about things that interest him, I wonder if he's got the guts to pursue sensual feelings enough to pierce his body?" of course, that's assuming women pay attention :) lol take a look around this forum, so many females ignore blatent red flags. so yeah, you probably have to point it out at the beginning that you are into "extreme body mods". If she wants more detail, she'll ask. explain the magnets and why. If she smiles slyly and says, "any others?", then she's given permission to find out about your Prince Albert, since she's intrigued by the idea it creates more "potion to the motion" or she wouldn't even know to ask about it.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Dating Up? Posted: 4/20/2013 3:14:10 PM
forget the material crap...what ELSE does she offer? nearly all dating problems can be solved by the simple question: if the person was ugly, would you put up with their behavior? you feel like something's off w/ this gal, is it b/c she offers little more than a hot bod? what exactly do you want from a woman, and does she offer it or not?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here! Posted: 4/20/2013 3:05:42 PM
Well, if someone's disinterested, they likely won't converse "informatively and encouragingly", as the OP mentioned, unless perhaps one is good looking. A disinterested person just fails to email back...unless your photo looks pretty good. Then they may talk to you, and decide there isn't enough personality there to make the drive worth it. yes, some women do play a game....they've posted here enough times about how they can't get a guy to commit, and the response of course was, "wait, you played a game, and now you're upset he's playing a game with you?" or "if you weren't part of the drama, you wouldn't be involved with the drama" or something along those lines. the best way to avoid game players...is to avoid playing games. playing games is how you scare off the straight-forward guys who just figure a woman's not interested when she acts not interested. why do these women play the game? to know they are wanted by the guy willing to play. sex isn't a real proof of interest, so something else is needed.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 117 (view)

Well I just said NO to a offer of friends with benefits Posted: 4/20/2013 7:42:21 AM
its interesting that women keep insisting that its a male characteristic to not want a relationship. reminds me of how people insist that men lack empathy b/c when you express a problem, women will relate to it, men will try to solve it and skip the emotions. reality is, helping IS empathy. its just not the type women are used to. so, yes, many men do enjoy and want a relationship--its why we have friends and unions and elks clubs and other social groupings. but the male definition of "relationship" has a different definition, b/c many men want a different benefit from a relationship than women want from their relationships.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

I love dating older men but ... Posted: 4/20/2013 7:34:20 AM
whose approaching who first? sometimes, when a man expresses first interest, and then gets interest back and realizes there's an age diff, he'll ask, "you know there's an age diff, right?" b/c he's worried she find out and immediately go to, "ewww!" response. most men are told its disgusting, so they just want to get it right out in the open and done with. so, yes, it'll be up to you to make it clear it isn't an issue for you. i know, some women don't like to kill the chase by making it clear to a man its ok to chase, but there it is.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

The 7 Year Itch. Posted: 4/20/2013 7:30:13 AM
It doesn't need to take seven years...that number likely comes from the idea that people generally get married at a specific age, and then seven years after that, guess what happens in their life cycle that leads to the itch? :) its a matter of timing that most people fall into. people do fall into routines, it allows us to take in stimuli once our routine becomes so routine we don't need to take in stimuli to accomplish it, so now we can focus on new stimuli. like the OP said, if one partner accepts the existance of routine and the other needs to feel special, have spice in life, et cetera, then the existance of routine spoils the other partner's ability to get what they need in life....and they go elsewhere to have their needs met.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 130 (view)

Pissed, Played and Out for revenge...Or not? Posted: 4/20/2013 7:25:18 AM
wow, this got posted recently and its up to page 6 already? amazing what things will get deleted, and what takes a life of its own :) I'm betting 5 years from now, I'll find this post reborn back at the top of the forum again....its a great way for people to talk about how bad ass cognizant they are :) ladies, if you get hooked by a player, ask yourself if these two things happened: 1)you played games to see how much he really desired you. that will send the honest guys away (thinking you just aren't interested) and attract the score-keepers. 2)or you were so focused on finding an emotional, flattering, romantic relationship that...you found what appears to be one. Its better to see things as they are, get to know someone. there are cases where, a guy wants something so bad, he flatters you, talks about how great things will be with you (b/c that's the kind of relationship he wants with...somebody. anybody), then he gets to know you and...well....there's not the click in real life that he imagined there would be in a two dimentional computerscreen. sorry folks, it does happen. you want something so bad, you see it where it isn't. me, I met a former model online who was a player. how did i know? b/c she said she used to be, but wasn't anymore. :) and she lived halfway across the country...why would she need to meet me? it was simple logic--things didn't make sense, so i didn't try to make them make sense. so i didn't need to do anything but meet up, have amazing sex (another guy from the forum was trying to get her, and tried the jealousy card by putting me down, so she told him hey since you asked about the weekend, i had my first oral orgasm, and she never heard from mr. jealousy again) and become a friend afterward. (hey, if this post is going to go on this far this quick, we might as well use it to brag :) lol). we are responsible for our pride, by using it properly. if you want a shot at love, love yourself, learn what love is, and then you can recognize when a stranger is in love (and what is it he really loves about you, not what he loves about the situation). do these people see the error of their ways? there's no reason for them to. do they get what's coming to them? sure do. anyone who acts like a jerk, lives a jerk life. all he'll get is sex and people who hate him. does that sound like getting what comes to them?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Please tell me what you think... Posted: 4/20/2013 7:07:13 AM
What you have in front of you is simple:a guy who cares but isn't strong enough to be what you need. what makes it so complicated, is that he is what you'd like, but can't be what you need. THAT is the red flag you didn't notice, simply b/c its your own red flag. Both of you don't have the courage to come right out, lay your heart on the butcher's block, and tell the other, "here it is, do with it what you want." Yes, both of you have that red flag due to prior experiences. I'm not saying its bad or not understandable, I'm saying it can't be there in both of you, for a healthy relationship. It could exist in only one person (imagine a bridge, where one person refuses to walk across. the person at the other end can come across a bit, show the bridge is safe, and the first person might take a few steps and the second person takes the remaining ones. but if both people stay at their ends, and never meet up anywhere on the bridge?). he's taking the easy path towards what he wants. he can have you as his escort, for the simple reason you not offer resistance to it--you'd like to be his escort, and again, both of you are willing to accept tablecrumbs rather than the whole meal. there may one day be where you both respect yourselves enough to stop accepting tablecrumbs, and want more from life than that. will both of you do that anytime soon? well, so long as you are both getting the tablecrumbs you want...then why try to get the whole meal? as for the sexual heat, well, yeah, neither of you have had any, and you'd both LOVE the intimacy that sex would offer. there's an old story, a circus elephant is held in place by a thin cord. a spectator thinks the elephant is well trained. the trainer explains no, that's the cord we used when he was a baby, he couldn't break it then, so he just stopped trying, even as a full grown adult. yes, men can teach themselves to be indecisive...in the workplace, in the bedroom, on the sports field, wherever.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Why won't he let me go? Posted: 4/20/2013 6:53:21 AM
Its almost refreshing to read something like this, after so many women posting, "he only wants sex!" and a few nice guys posting, "where's the women who want a long courting period without sex?" well folks, here's your worst case scenario of getting what you asked for :) he's treating you like his gf b/c he cares about you. your situation is no different than two kids meeting up during summer vacation at a remote resort, clicking well, and knowing that at the end of the week they will both go home to their separate towns and not meet again (back in the day before the Internet, I mean). Men don't need sex to show love, just like women don't either. Love is more than just sex, which is why people who use sex to represent love keep getting used for sex. that being said...sex is fun, enjoyable, and a wonderful medium for two people to express intimacy for each other. If you aren't getting exactly what you want, unfortunately...you have to stand up for yourself. That may not fit well into your belief system, but your bf is doing what feels good to him (clinging on to you as long as he can). He will do things for you that feel good to him, but doing the ultimate good deed for you--letting you move on--he won't do, b/c it won't feel good for him. here's a man who goes by his emotions rather than his logic. if he wasn't so attractive to you (for this reason and perhaps on a physical level as well), he'd be a stalker and you'd know how to handle his creepy ways. You'd do what was availible to you to do, in order to protect yourself. you will, alas, have to do that now.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Mixed feeling about girl @ work (NEED ADVICE) Posted: 4/19/2013 10:37:46 AM
1)what exactly do you want from her? by that, I mean, if she's shy and you aren't and so you have to change your ways to get her to like you...are you gonna be happy that you have to be a different fellow just to get some play? If you want more than just some play, then ask her out like you'd ask anyone else out, and if that doesn't fly with her, then all you lost was sex w/ someone whose personality doesn't match your's. is that a great loss to you? 2)if it is a great loss to you, then yes, you'll have to slow your roll to her speed. get to know her a bit more (what's her coworkers say?). does she eventually go after what she wants in life, or does she just wait for every thing to fall into her lap (if she's beautiful, she may just be able to go thru life that way and have it work). 3)she's known your interest for a year, and hasn't run away like most women do when they aren't interested in a guy who's interested in them. unless she's desperate for any attention, its all a good sign. small talk is an easy rut to fall into, and it sounds like you've moved past that. have you gotten a vibe for things she likes? maybe there's an event in a public place you're going to, and you can mention it to her, and if she lights up about it, you could say, "hey, want to tag along?" kinda like you'd do w/ a male coworker you're connecting with. its not a date, doesn't sound like a date, but its a chance to see someone outside of the usual place you see them. it might slide under her radar, b/c its not a date, but there's still some intimacy to it. its a sharing of a good time, and you aren't making a deal about forcing it onto her. she can say yes or no .maybe just meet you there rather than arrive there with you. the idea is to make it seem like its all cool, you're cool, its a cool time. if something romantic develops out of it, that wasn't intended, so its more of a "just sorta happened" explanation. as for the work concerns...you have to know the people you work with. what flies and what doesn't. what sets who off. I've worked w/ some toxic people who were not in my dept and still tried to talk me down, but it went nowhere. the people they really set in their sights, however, were the people who really ruffled their feathers. in other words, sometimes those, "woe is me" stories have another side, one that could have been avoided. she isn't in his business, so its worth it for him to try with her..at the very least, to get a no and get it out of his mind :)

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 524 (view)

girls with high sex drive Posted: 4/16/2013 7:45:44 AM
Since guys' associate their virility, their manhood, with their sex drive (and ability and all that), a woman who has it higher than they do, can make them feel inadequate. Men who don't associate manhood with having constant erections like a 20 yr old, don't need to label a woman in order to feel better about themself. Of course, a woman who sees sex as an end goal will find men who think the same way. you get love by giving it, so a woman who wants to avoid being used, needs to find guys who are just like her. Of course, that's what all humans do naturally, so if a woman finds people who use her, she should consider how she's using other people...otherwise, obviously, a guy who uses you for sex would be waving red flags with his self-focused behavior, not making you feel there's a connection.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Oral stimulation of breasts and nipples Posted: 4/16/2013 7:39:07 AM
goodness, women post about why are men so bad at sex, then a man asks for some help, and everyone just forumgangbangs the poor guy....:) only a few men are worried about fondling the love pillows and "what it means". some are surprised that once she laid down on her back, those large breasts spread out into "pancakes w/ a pat of butter". and other guys are just copying in bed what they see off the porn DVD .zzzzzz Most guys, however are too focused on what they want to hold back, assuming they've found what they want right in front of them. Some women love stimulation, some have sensitive breasts during "that time", and the best way for you to get to know what's up is to pay attention to her reaction when you start doing what you wanted to do from the first time you ran your eyes up and down her.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Is it not cool these days to go against the Grain??? Posted: 4/16/2013 7:30:10 AM
It never WAS cool to go against the grain. Look at what the Church did to the scientists who did. Be glad to live in an enlightened place and time. Back in my day, being cool meant being detached from life. I was the kid who loved to be interested in everything around me, and noticing it out loud got me the, "you're weird" tag. Oh well, those kids turned to drugs and other things in order to have something to feel again, I just kept on geeking out on stuff around me. And their views on sex are so weird, making simple things so complex. They don't realize how simple it is--you get out of it what you bring to it. not a jot more. for example, I was reading someone here posting about how bad casual sex is. its like having a casual drink w/ someone. the booze gives its own buzz, but the real fun comes from the company. you can share a good conversation and still go home without them. be individual, and you shrink your fishing net. lower your standards, and you increase the odds of getting a date...that fits about as well as the sentence above. like everything else in life, figure out where you want to end up before figuring out the best way to travel. most figure out the fun way to travel, then get amazed at where they end up after the fun is done.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

FWB or maybe more? Posted: 4/11/2013 6:29:56 PM
the simple guideline to nearly every relationship question is this: would you put up with this bullcrap from someone not so hot? ironically, there's usually someone in the questioner's life who isn't hot, and who pulls the "maybe" behavior, and the questioner has no problem realizing, "this is bullcrap. I'm not putting up with it, there's nothing I want from this so there's nothing for me to gain." but when the person's hot, then there's something to gain. so we put up w/ bullcrap we wouldn't accept from other people in our lives.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Compatibility, Criteria, and Chemistry Posted: 4/11/2013 6:14:12 PM
Figure yourself out, first and foremost. Then all questions answer themselves. No, seriously. If you don't know what it is you offer, you'll never ever know what to look for in another person (how can you?) you don't know what you are compatable with, when you don't know what you SHOULD be compatable with. Know what you are, then you'll know what you are compatable with. its whatever makes you feel naturally comfortable. respect what you see in yourself. you may not love all of it, but respect it. then you need no ground rules or golden questions or stencils for someone to fill in. once you respect yourself, you then find people who...respect you. they'll be natural to find--they are the people who act like you do. you won't even need to consciously look for them, you'll just see them doing what you do, and you'll feel comfortable in their presense. whatever isn't important to you, will be naturally...unimportant. you'll overlook it, just as you do now. people who don't respect themselves, overlook disrespect b/c respect isn't important to them. when respect becomes important, then they stop overlooking disrespect. they naturally gravitate towards people who pay them respect, b/c its seems like such a natural thing to do, so comfortable, like clothes that fit. you don't need to look at the label to know it fits your arms and legs and shoulders, you just can see it fits your body. it just feels natural and good.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

What would you want to hear from a girl when you're feeling down? Posted: 4/10/2013 5:50:58 PM
men talk about how things ARE. Women talk about how things FEEL. ask us how our morning went, and we'll give you a factual list, and assume you can determine if those experiences feel good or bad. like the others said, be there for the person, wait for them to feel comfortable. I do that with women, it works with men, too :) the big fly in this ointment, however is, "when she found out about me, she's been kind of bad-mouthing him to the faculty and residents that he teaches/works with." you're part of the equation. he may not want to get you fired up, maybe even worries you may get fired up enough to try to do something about it. in the end, tho, we can't make people do what they don't want to do, so again, be there for him, he'll come about when he's ready. me personally, when i'm down there are times i'd love to hear from a hot woman (who could be with anyone, and gets attention from everyone trying to impress her) that I make a good impression on her. that i'm worth paying attention to, b/c apparently she noticed how well i'm handling things. other times i'm just interested in a (pity) party of one :) lol

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

boys and their toys Posted: 4/10/2013 5:44:06 PM
Some fellas show off their Harleys b/c they vibrate at 33 megacycles, about the resonance of a washing machine. Its that "secret handshake" sign for some women. I'm not materialistic (moved out and lived alone since 18, I couldn't afford to be), but damn I love my cars. That is my material thrill, whether is the science of redesigning an engine for performance or figuring the different ways to make candy red turn different shades simply by choosing the basecoat (the stuff comes out of the paintgun like cough syrup). I put my pix up b/c some people couldn't figure out my screenname. If I really loved boats, loved spending time on them, then I'd post my catamaran and sunfish. I'd want someone to know I don't just talk about things, I actually do them. Ever meet someone who talks a good talk, but can't walk that talk? I was just at a model car contest where an onlooker was critiquing what he saw, that it was way too complicated to do, and i said, "oh, not really, here, this is how i did mine." and pointed to the ones I had in the show. he was flapping his gums, I had the proof. felt nice :) but yes, there are the people who are just showing off. if you know what it means to show off, and what goals one is trying to achieve by doing so, you can catch the showoffs by letting them talk.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Bacon Hater! Worst/funniest date evah! Posted: 4/10/2013 5:36:02 PM
bacon is, simply, chocolate for men. still, Luna, it does sound like your expectations were low when you met this guy... you should probably raise 'em before you agree to meet :) a long time ago I agreed to meet a gal from here knowing it wouldn't work (she was 420 friendly, loved all year Mustangs but mine, etc), but I was going to a public event in between where both of us lived so I said WTF. We met, the event was done in a few hours (I remember a time when a 4 hr event felt like it was all day long), and she wanted to know if we could do anything else. well, she wasn't hungry to eat anything, couldn't go for a walk due to a back injury...maybe she was hinting at some other activity, but I sure wasn't interested. at least she didn't break any wind, or say bad things about smoke cheddar. when your guy asked if he was "doable", you should have told him he was "done"

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Is FATE a factor? Posted: 4/10/2013 5:27:35 PM
You can't really choose your coworkers. but you still find ones you can get along with, and sometimes find one or two you'd like to spend your spare time with. otherwise, you find friends outside of work and family and events who you prefer to spend time with. they make you feel comfortable about your shortcomings in life, typically by having them as well. An ability to see everyone and everything as an opportunity, and an ability to rationalize taking it? The desire to always take the easy path and skip the hard work necessary in life? prudishness about sex? insecurity about being alone? prejudice? using sex as a currency to acquire things in life you should be giving to yourself? using people to make you feel better about your identity? do you think appearances ,or outcomes, are more important? you wouldn't want to spend your spare time with someone who makes you feel stupid or foolish about the things you hold dear, would you? If you hold sex sacred, would you want to be around someone who's a ho? if you worry about what people think, do you really want to go to a bar with a friend who loves to be a spectacle? If you enjoy intelligent conversation, do you really want to take a walk with someone stupid for an hour? Fate is the result that occurs from how you conduct yourself. be stupid, get stupid results. plan ahead, work the plan, and there's your fate. luck still fits in, of course, that's why combat soldiers say they'd rather be lucky than good--you can be skilled and still get dead from some weird freak occurance no one saw coming. sometimes the dumb win the lottery (and then end up with the lottery curse).

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 105 (view)

tickling as foreplay Posted: 4/10/2013 5:13:46 PM
actually, sexypunkgirl, tickling with a feather isn't kinky, using the whole chicken is :) ("Gee, Mr.Smith, when you said you mounted birds, I thought you meant taxidermy...") tickling is basically what you do when you aren't too confident about touching someone else's body, like they couldn't possibly be that interested in you, so you use tickling as an excuse in case they pull back from you laying a hand upon them. so, its foreplay for some...and a tell.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

tickling as foreplay Posted: 4/10/2013 5:13:26 PM
actually, tickling with a feather isn't kinky, using the whole chicken is :) ("Gee, Mr.Smith, when you said you mounted birds, I thought you meant taxidermy...") tickling is basically what you do when you aren't too confident about touching someone else's body, like they couldn't possibly be that interested in you, so you use tickling as an excuse in case they pull back from you laying a hand upon them. so, its foreplay for some...and a tell.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Sex in the single mom's house. Posted: 4/10/2013 5:10:03 PM
1)If you can't afford a hotel room now and then, or you can't afford your own place for her to stay when the kids visit grandma (funny you never realize as a kid why you're doing that:) ), you may not be ready to afford a serious relationship with two mouths to feed :) 2)if you think mom's too honest for your own comfort....that may be your red flag waving you towards the exit. i've been lucky enough to be a MFer :), and it got scheduled. If a mom's not adult enough to schedule a date night, she's probably not adult enough to handle other things. Ultimately, it all depends upon what you're really dating her for, her personality or her mommyboobs.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Need some opinions on this one Posted: 4/10/2013 4:59:32 PM
jeez louse folks, its obvious why he'd like to get back with her, and its all the same reasons why he dated her in the first place: they share a lot in common. why else do people date? :) the problem lies in WHY she cheated 2 years ago. could she rationalize putting her needs in front of his? could she convince herself that he was just a placeholder until the better guy came by? was she just reacting to something he did? was she afraid to be alone and cheated rather than dump him? figure out WHY she cheated, what need she absolutely needed to fill. Figure out how she could rationalize why it was better to cheat on you than dump you. figure that out, then figure out if she's changed those bad habits in these last two years. and, then, remember...you two fell for each other due to the things you two shared in common. do YOU still have these habits as well?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Would you date your mates ex girlfriend. Posted: 4/6/2013 11:17:57 AM
I've had friends of ex's hit on me--musta heard something good :) Fact is, you're buds w/ your mate b/c they share your beliefs, attitudes on life, confidence levels, etc. If you're mate's ex found that behavior attractive as well as his physical looks...and she's had some quaffs...then she can find you interesting, too. like everything else in life, decide your course of action by determining the outcome of your actions...and deciding if you really want to end up there. Where will poking your mate's ex lead you? Do you want to end up there? you know this ex well enough...was she just feeling her booze? did she ever show an interest in you before?

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

You Only Love Once ??? Posted: 4/6/2013 11:06:08 AM
YOLO is one of those things young generations invent b/c they really think they've discovered the key to life before any generation before them could figure it out. You can re-invent yourself and your life as many times as needed. As for loving once, if you're healthy you love what you see in the mirror, then fall in love with another to share what you found. So, that theory goes out the window, too. As for moving on, some simply don't b/c it means they have to get off their a$$ and go look while making themselves presentable enough to be attractive. For them, its better to stay in the past w/ a known quantity, than to buck up and go out and find the next one.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Why do hot women date ugly men and visa versa? Posted: 4/4/2013 7:56:05 PM
"Why is it in the majority of cases" >>>I see this myth get repeated a lot...and maybe there's a part of the country where there's an overabundance of hot women and few hot men to go around, but....as only one person mentioned...its truly rare for a secure, physically attractive woman to not be selective. There are some insecure, physically attractive women who go after guys they can't have--I used to know one well. But she'd also dated her fair share of hot men in the 40+ she's gone to bed with. She started dating average looking guys thinking only the hot ones were players. We tend to notice the exceptions to our rules, that's what stand out to us. We also tend to accept myths as truth when they are repeated enough. Beautiful women don't have to date ugly guys if they don't want to, and where I've been, few choose to do so. They want to feel good, just like anyone else. They may decide to "try" something different, but we all tend to go with what makes us feel good. we're all pleasure-seekers. there are other studies show on average, we tend to date people w/ similar facial features to ourselves. but i'll blame the myth on the dating coaches trying to drum up some business, like how in the 1920's the myth that you only use 6% of your brain (why does your head produce so much heat if that's true?) was passed around to sell books on how to increase your thinking power.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Why Are All My Dates Financially Broke? Posted: 4/3/2013 8:09:53 AM
like everyone else, the only people you will ever "find" out of all the people you meet in a day, are the ones you want. In other words, its not just looks that attract you, but attitudes towards life as well. what kind of attitude can lead someone to be constantly broke? well, someone who wants to have fun over all other things can make one live from paycheck to paycheck. and hey, you just want to have fun, so you may be finding people who JUST want to have fun...and not work as hard as they play. someone who wants to avoid the bad things in life can also be someone who avoids doing the hard things needed to make ends meet. you don't like t0 be soured, so perhaps that's how you find people who bury the bills so they don't get soured, too. what kind of person tries to trade their looks for money? someone used to using people and having low respect. do you tend to see opportunities everywhere you go? that also may be how you keep meeting the sad sacks of life. as the others said, tighten up your dating filters.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

How to accomplish to stimulate a girl by rubbing her clit? Posted: 4/2/2013 5:07:15 PM
ask her if she's closing her legs b/c her bladder feels full all of a sudden. if the answer's yes, then google "squirting". I had a gf who acted as you described.

gtomustang

Joined: 6/16/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How to accomplish to stimulate a girl by rubbing her clit? Posted: 4/2/2013 5:00:42 PM
you may just be applying too much pressure, which is why she pushes you away. Or she's one of the rare women who need barely any stimulation to reach nearly a full arousal. ask her to show you how she fingers herself, you may get an idea of how much pressure is too much.

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