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 Author Thread: How long does it take to really know..love or infatuation
 moab4u
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
How long does it take to really know..love or infatuation
Posted: 2/13/2008 5:56:42 PM
I see some responses say six to eight weeks, others offer six months. Is calculatioin based on daily get togethers, ? times per week together?. If it is long , long distance are the calculations based on a one week getogether per every four months?
 moab4u
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
We have never so much as kissed and its driving me crazy!!!
Posted: 2/13/2008 4:57:02 PM
ANOTHER POSSIBILITY
He has another relationship. I bet he tells you everything , but when it comes to physical intimacy he is keeping a distance because he is secretly involveld with someone else. By being shy, insecure or whatever it is , is an convenient way to conduct himself and have you believe he might be lacking self confidence lwhen what he is actually doing is having 'a mental affair' which some how in his mind he exonerates it by saying to himself he is not 'fornicating with you'.

He secretly must have a relationship and you are his second choice , ---- he is hedging his bets.

SOme men are so good at compartmentalings their life, segregating in their minds what info they are willing to share,. He must sense your like for him which salves his ego especially if he has gone very recently gone thru a ltr breakup.

It's not to say he doesn't like you very much , but he doesn't know how to be intimate with you because he knows it might make you walk to another field.
 moab4u
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dumb bell advice
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:45:11 PM
it's not always about a man---- epenis????HUH!
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
should i wait?
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:47:47 PM
I have a girlfriend who wanted to leave her husband for a man she was in love with. THe week she was to ask him for a divorce he announced firstly he was diagnosed with cancer. Her lover waited three years behind the scenes. WHile she tended to her dying husband. No kids. Her husband was verbally abusive and very self absorbed and generally an all out goof ball.

She had a crapy 12 year marriage, why she stayed in the first place is beyond belief. But she did , and when she met someone wonderful she became stuck through no fault of hers or his. Life sometimes throws in a monkey wrench.

But if she isn't dying then I would not loose complete contact but do make yourself available for date if a man asks you and you are potentially interested him. ALways keep one eye open.

AND TO THE REST OF THE READERS SHE SAID THEY HAVE NEVER SLEPT TOGETHER SO HOW CAN YOU GUYS INSINUATE AND STATE THEY ARE CHEATING????????? read post carefully. geesh.

Good Luck OP, I understand where you are coming from. Emotional support, empathy and sympathy sometimes is found outstide the home, just don't cross the boundaries of fidelity because it may burn you. And keep a perspective that he is not totally free for holiday planning or outings , SO DO KEEP ONE EYE OPEN ON OTHER MEN.

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
How can I stop doing this?
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:39:53 PM
When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were doing that girl next door, what ja do that for
When you first left me I didn`t know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone

At first when I see you cry,
yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile
At worst I feel bad for a while,
but then I just smile I go ahead and smile


GREAT SONG AND LYRICS BY A BRITISH BIRD , NAMED LILY ALLEN. GET HER CD, ACES. JUST ACES. tHIS song is upbeat and gets you feeling joyful. helped me through a tough time.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How can I stop doing this?
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:19:54 PM
If they call set a date to meet two weeks down the road. In that time they are to write you a letter explaining what they think or thought they did wrong to you and what you did wrong to them (even if you think you did not).

They are to present you with the letter when you meet for coffee.

How they compose the letter or what effort they give to it you can decide when you meet them for coffee. Remember give them a deadline of two weeks. WHen you meet have the coffees and read what they wrote.

If its all bull and no effort made. Just stand up , thank them for the coffee and leave. The effort they give to the letter will be the same effort they will give you the second and third time.

If the letter is heart felt, emotive and expressive then enjoy their company. SPend a pleasant hour with them, then tell them you have to go home and digest what they wrote. AND YOU WILL CALL THEM. the control is yours now to pursue or not.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How come my relationships with women only last 1-2 weeks
Posted: 2/11/2008 3:53:52 PM
Here is what turns me off

MEN who
when you go out on a first date they have their hands all over the place, I don't need you patting me on my thigh, or resting your hand there, I don't like it when you guide me through the door with your hand on my lower back, I don't like it when you put you hand on my shoulder/arm when talking. I DON'T KNOW YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF.

I DO NOT LIKE BEING KISSED OR EXPECTATION OF ONE ON THE FIRST DATE
DON'T TALK ABOUT YOURSELF OR WHINE ABOUT PAST WOMEN ALL NIGHT LONG ON FIRST DATE.

Don't go on about what a failure you are with women. Really, as a consumer do I want to buy something no one else wants or needs?

Call me the next day and leave a message you had a great time and look forward to calling me again and going out. DO NOT KEEP CALLING ME UTNILL YOU GET ME ON THE PHONE THE NEXT DAY AFTER THE FIRST DATE

DON'T CALL ME AGAIN TWO DAYS AFTER THE FIRST DATE WONDERING WHAT I AM DOING, HOW MY DAY WAS. WHY DID I ANSWER THE PHONE AT 6PM INSTEAD OF 5PM LIKE THE DAY BEFORE with questions of did i work late, traffic make me late or did I go somewhere after work. NON OF YOUR EFFIN BUSINESS CONTROL FREAK. (character traits of insecure control freaks)

DONT Call me again on the third day AGAIN. What you got no one else to pester. Because by now you are a pest.

DON'T INVITE ME TO YOUR PLACE WITHIN THE FIRST THREE TO FOUR DATES TO WATCH A MOVIE and HAVE WINE. What are you cheap, expecting booty.

Don't paw and continuously nuzzle me, I have a dog for this reason . You ain't my beet-ch and I ain't yours.

Clean your place if you invite me over. I always check a man's bathroom. Your tub grungee, (ain't seein me back) , kitchen a mess , living room in disarray etc

Don't smother me within the first week and not in the second week either. Otherwise you get the heave hoe, which translates that by the third week coming I really can't see me tolerating you.

IF YOU DOING ANY OF THE ABOVE, STOP IT NOW

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 248 (view)
 
Who is Racist?
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:46:11 PM
gEE THE OBAMA camp sure is using the race card.

Spade work means working in the trenches and doing the real work.

OBAMA, LISTEN TO HIM CAREFULLY. He speaks and preaches inspiration but he has not tackled and gone down int he dirt to do the work or has the knowledge base to actually perform, In other words he has not dug the trenches , which means spade work. It's a term i have used to mean working and getting dirty.

But the stupdis will continue to besmirch their minds ignorantly , it salves the dummies and the whiners.

I bet the dumba$$ white guy who started this thread is either a republican faking concern for the black, or a white supporter of OBAMA or dare I say it, someone scared of the CLINTON's.


OBAMA AND RACE CARD. PEOPLE SURE LIKE TO TWIST words. And by the many who soak all of this up is pure example of how common sense among the populace is rare and lack of independent thinking is rampant among the population.

YOU MAY HEAR OBAMA SPEAKING, BUT TRY ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THE MEANING OF HIS WORDS AND HE IS ALL RHETORIC AND AIR.

OP, YOU WRITE LIKE A REPUBLICAN. WHo's paying you to visit forums to stir up the issue???? An issue without merit.

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Aspartame Causes Cancer in Rats at Levels Currently Approved for Humans
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:41:06 PM
dIET POP heated in a container , like sitting in the sun , will convert the chemical in it (name escapes me) into formaldehyde. do research and educate self.

STAY AWAY FROM DIET SUGARS.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Aspartame Causes Cancer in Rats at Levels Currently Approved for Humans
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:38:10 PM
rATS may be 1000 times smaller, but chemcials are based on length of exposure, per body weight dosage given etc. To say ignore what a rat comes down with, especially from a self described medical professional such as a dentist is totally ignorant and a hoarking luger to science.

If it wasn't for the poor rat we would be thinking lead in toys from CHina is great and not a big deal.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Aspartame Causes Cancer in Rats at Levels Currently Approved for Humans
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:33:55 PM
People with MS should NOT BE USING ARTIFICIAL SWEETNERS.

SUCROLOSE , ASPARTAME, SWEET AND LOW, ALL THE SAME CRAP JUST DIFFERENT NAMES.

NOTICE HOW MANY PEOPLE BUY LOW FAT THIS, AND DIET THIS AND THAT AND ARE STILL FAT, /OBESE. OR MUFFIN TOPS OVER LOW RIDERS.

All studies done independently prove their is something amiss. But when sponsored by a self serving interest group the studies prove nothing wrong with diet sugars.

GO FIGURE. with all the above why so much diabetes and cancer.

since diet sugar and sun tanning beds on market see the rise in cancer numbers.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Coke-a-cola
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:26:24 PM
pUT A PEARL IN A GLASS OF WINE.

FIND IT IN 48 HOURS. WON'T BE THERE. a true pearl will be eaten by the red wine.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Coke-a-cola
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:23:26 PM
COKE USED TO BE MADE WITH COCAINE.

it was developed in Atlanta to give the population their who was down and predominately drunks something else to drink. TRUE, IT WAS INTENDED FOR MEDICAL AND ALCOHOLIC REPLACEMENT BEVERAGE. But the taste was great and became popular.

I do know people with multiple scleroris are told not to drink diet pop. Research is people with MS have brain lessions, diet pop causes brain lessions also after each can is drunk. dO RESEARCH, IF you drink enough you loose some level short term memory

DIET POP IS A METABOLIC SUPPRESANT, WHICH MEANS DRINK DIET POP AND YOUR METABOLIC RATE DROPS, WHICH MEANS YOU DON'T PROCESS FOOD AS YOU SHOULD AND YOU GAIN WEIGHT. FAT PEOPLE BEWARE.

coke eats calcium on bones.

BUT EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. the occassional REAL COKE WITH REAL SUGAR NOT ONLY IS DELICIOUS , BUT IT BETTER FOR DIETS. GETS RID OF SUGAR CRAVING.

FRUIT JUICES CAN BE WORSE THEN COKE, WITH THE SUGAR COUNT.

so beware. WATER AND MILK GREAT. the rest IS FOR YOU TO BE INFORMED.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dumb bell advice
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:51:36 PM
Invest in muscle and fitness magazine. Men's Muscle and Fitness!!!!!

DOn't be a dork and work out the arms only. Get yourself to a gym.

Pyramid build

FOr everymuscle group do 2 different exercies.

FOr muscle toning and development

3 times 12 reps at base weight
3 times 10 reps at base weight plus five or 10 pounds

if you can to the above comfortably

add a third set in 2 times 8 reps add five to ten pounds

remember 2 different exercies for the muscle group


routine should be

Day 1 back and bicep , work work first. do two different exercises using formula above. lat pulldowns and rows for the back (if you follow above you should have done a total of 32 sets in total per muscle you working outl. FOr biceps you can do Hammer curls and cross over. Read muscles and fitness magazine as offers more explanations of all exercises for muscle. Barbells do help as its important to do wide grip and narrow grip. BUt barbells work your arms independently and permit for better targetting and ensure one side of your body doesnt get bigger then the other side.


Day 2 legs and abs


Day 3 chest and triceps

Day 4 shoulders (front , middle and rear delts, ) and Abs


Get familiar with all the various exercises!!!!!!!!! Eat appropriately and responsibly otherwise you are not going to develop anything with a crap diet.


What you lift in weight you bring it down. Don't let the weight drop you bring the weight down. SLOWLY, SLOWLY is the key. KNOW TECHNIQUE. MUSCLE AND FITNESS MAGAZINE GREAT FOR EXPLAINING EVERYTHING. don't use momentum, swinging the weights up and down like the idiots i see in the gym. When you use proper technique you are maximizing the exercise and will be developing a great body sooner then the goof who trains for years and jerks, swings and uses bad technique.


Now , everyonce in a while , which would perhaps be your seventh week , swiwtch up the weights . Muscles has memory and hits a plateau. You must always challenge muscle. During your seventh week cut down on the reps.
For each muscle group do 1 set for 15 reps of a warm up. and then 5 sets at maximum weight for only 3 to 6 reps.

Then go back to the original regime incorporating same number of reps but introduce more weight.

Remember , you don't need to increase a lot of weight to shoulder/delt exercises. Heavy weights will not enhance these muscle groups but reps with weights you can comfortably lift without loosing technique is the key.

THe same for chest presses. You see men lying on their backs bench pressing huge weight. FOr what. You want great chest you don't have to go nuts on the weights and serious damage can be done if you tear your chest muscle. It's painful and really screws up your whole training for a long, long, long time. Idiots go for huge weight.

For all the other muscle groups go high on weights as long as technique not messed up.
Pyramiding which means doing an exercies with reps and increasing the weights is great for toning and muscle growth.

FOr mass , you switch it in with a proper work out. Mass is big weights at very low reps, three to six. I could go on forever, but once you get started its addictive. I love going to the gym especially when I look in the mirror and see what I see and so will you. It makes mount biking better, gives endurance , develops balance and a damn fine physique .

Remember eat well. So important.

I could go on, but I spend 4 to 5 days a week at the gym, I've got core, I've got pipes and lots and lots of knowledge. Read, and educate yourself.

If you will be using treadmill for cardio. Cardinal rule, weights first, treadmill last.
Never use treadmill first, the valuable energy you need first don't waste on treadmill but use it to ensure concentration, technique and strength. cardio simply requires endurance. Strength for weights, endurance for treadmill. Even without strength you can endure. SO prioritize your bodies energy in proper sequence and use.

BUT REMEMBER , THE GREATEST FOLLY IS ONLY EXERCISING ONE PART OF THE ANATOMY. Easy to spot in a crowd and you only end up with a body that appears off balance in muscles size and tone.

And believe me, I see enough people who are lop side, or all he -man above waist with scrawny legs, or all defined arms and chest and back which lacks same definition.

And do not work your triceps more then biceps. Equal weight ,. what you lift with bicep , you must match with tricep. YOur arms if you concentrate more on triceps with not look great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAD BAD ADVICE.

also MANY MEN FORGET, EXERCISE THE REAR DELT. lots of people have middle and front delts, but their shoulders look off, too many forget to pay enough attention to rear delt. And when doing shoulder shrugs , DO ONLY UP AND DOWN. morons in the ship rotate their shoulder. NO NO , NO. DOES DAMAGES.

also , when doing lat pulldowns , the wider the grip , the move V shaped back. DO NOT USE BEHIND THE HEAD PULLDOWN. ONLY IN FRONT OF FACE. lots of shoulder damage discovered with behind the head pull down.

AS I SAID, READ, EDUCATE, READ, EDUCATE AND EAT HEALTHY, SMARTLY AND YA, JUNK FOOD ON ONCE IN A WHILE
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:15:06 PM
Yes, I want a deep and meaningful conversation before I see a photo. Because once I decide to see the person I want to be joyfully surprised by the sight of an ugly fat butt with a gut protruding as if in 9 months of pregnancy. Oohh yaaaaaaaaahhhhh, baby turn me on.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 206 (view)
 
Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 2/7/2008 3:00:03 PM
Aliensecret especially on this board.

It's amazing how many stories I read of heart break and most of them start with I met a man who was wonderful and we fell in love, He did and said all those wonderful things and now after two weeks (others two months) he doesn't want to commit. Bwah, bwah , bwah , why doesn't he love me anymore.

Imagine the ones who did stick through it and got married to end up in divorce.

If love is like a fast food outlet why would an epicurean even deign to think these people are solid relationship material.

Quality Relationship material is not based on marriage as marriage is not often good indicator of relationship quality.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 204 (view)
 
Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married?
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:35:33 PM
The stupidity of people. Married once or not , or many times" WTF does it matter???

Paedophiles have been married.
Murderers have been married.
Wife beaters have been married.
Off spring fornicators have been married.
Cheaters/players have been married.
Rapists have been married.

But heck as long as they weren't single then they are the man to seriously consider for a relationship.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Couples in Restaurants
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:12:17 PM
You are not weird. When you each can sit across from each other and read there should be a comfort level . If you read and are wondering gee how do I entertain the other , what should or what can I say then its not comfortable and the relationship is doomed.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:54:41 PM
Born4u2luv, YOU ARE SPOT ON. Exactly. I have come across so many people who have fallen for the 'third world' lotharios and skankettes, it seems the ones who look like them come from the same third world . DUH, and they are offended.

These are people who are intelligent, rational etc who go to the carribbean and south america and seem to have discovered the elixir of love. Which beckons the repeat, desperation, low self esteem or simply feeling pity and sympathy in the mistaken belief of LOVE.

Of course there are those who put forth that you can date and meet the same scum in your own country. I agree, but one has the time to know them on a continous basis not from mere email and phone calls after departing from a holiday/fantasy fueled romance. The panic seems to set in, the sympathy takes over, the pity parade starts and the walk down the aisle .

And yes , as Chocolat123 puts forth , the experience hit close to home and now I have become more educated on these types of situation from meeting many people who have encountered the same and horror stories that followed.

And I never bashed anyone for putting him down, they were putting me down, like Choco123 ( or as Don Imus says it) .

THe NORTHAMERICAN is a rich reward for people in the Carib and S. AMerica. Ya Mr. GRINGO or Ms GRINGA , i love you all night and all day till immigration is OKAY as you pay. And by the way , my mama wants this, my papa needs that, my friend would love to have that, and my friend would like that.......................it goes on and on the clandestine begging and wanting.............................................
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/5/2008 4:45:44 PM
Chocolat123, what did Don Imus say? hmmmmm
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
How Weird is Castrating Your Own Cat?
Posted: 2/4/2008 5:07:59 PM
THE NUMBER OF IGNORANT PEOPLE ON THIS FORM IS FOR ALL TO SEE IN THE FIRST 13 POSTS. NOT ONE OF YOU GAVE A DAMN TO ADVISE OP TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL, SPCA OR A VET TO REPORT THIS METHOD OF HIS IN CASTRATING HIS CAT.

HELLO??????????? are people just stupid, dumb , ignorant or have no thought about CRUELTY OR POTENTIAL CRUELTY?

POST NUMBER 14 SAW BEYOND THE TALE OF THE OP AND REALIZED THIS SOUNDS NOT ONLY WACKY BUT SHOULD BE REPORTED. And here you are typing about the story, tell me where is your heart , common sense for another animal. Ya, right , run girl, run, it sounds freaky to you, perhaps torturous to the cat but leave the cat to him.

OP, you are unbelievable. You think its freaky, scary but you make no attempt at doing the right thing for the cat. shame, shame , shame and your effort is to get to your computer and knock your fingers silly on the keyboards and hopefully find another date while at it. TOTALLY LACKING IN COMPASSION AND COMMON SENSE. AND FULL OF SELF ABSORBTION. THIS POST WAS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM AND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM AND NOT A DAMN THING FOR THE CAT
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Who here always falls for those who aren't into them but when someone's interested, they're not?
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:55:59 PM
Op you are not alone.

But look at the bright side , the people who do mutually like and fall in love eventually are seen signing divorce papers.

It's a conundrum for sure. Sometimes two people do get together and everything seems to fall into place and one opts out. For what ever reason it wasn't the fit at the time. They re-acquaint 5 years later and nothing has changed but they make it a commitment. GO figure.

When you consider the lack of common sense in society its no wonder relationships are so tough to figure out.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
AM I WASTING MY TIME WITH HIM
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:46:19 PM
CARRIE HAS GOT THE WISDOM ON THIS POST
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
AM I WASTING MY TIME WITH HIM
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:40:44 PM
Well you did lash out at him, transferring your anger at someone who was not the cause.

And in the meanwhile he is dating someone else and is appreciative of the communication with you and is staying in touch at the moment at a safe distance both mentally and physically.

WHy the rush. Be a penpal and reaquaint with each other slowly. This does not mean you put your life on hold waiting for his return but be receptive to his communications and stay positive.

Don't listen to anyone who says he wasn't right for you as your post did not offer anyone enough information to be so declarative in their advice. ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE IF HE WAS RIGHT FOR YOU.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/3/2008 6:32:26 PM
rOSALITA , AH Your assumations are profoundly wrong and your wisdom of love is quite outside the box thinking . NOt. What insight. NOT. As for your post you have committed the same vexation you espouse perhaps you should amuse yourself in a post about sustainable agriculture , hunger and the atrocities in the White House and not concern yourself with other people love affairs that appear written herein.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/1/2008 7:44:08 PM
Tone may rankle you and I seriously care, NOT, but seriously if we have enough leeches here why import more?

I am just perplexed at how people can assume the other person is so all there when they have no idea what that person is like on a daily basis and still they marry them and willing import these people who end up being a parasite or worse.

You may have happy lalala stories. But for the most part I have heard horror stories. I was once involved in a very distant love affair. Me here, him in Australia. He asked me to marry him. I knew him on the first visit here for 12 days. He came back three months later for two weeks. We day daily telephone convos and sex/love laden letters. Well , before I agreed to a permanent move I went and stayed with him for a year. I took a year off to go be with him on a daily basis. GUess what , he was not what I expected after two months. Imagine if I had married him here and gone there.

I can see taking the risk skiing down the steepest alp if one is a intermediate skier but when it comes to marriage the ramifications can be magnitudinal (sp). An avalanche if you will.

Yes, when you meet someone in your own country its easier to discern over time who they are and if they are nefarious or of dubious character. It's called getting to know you as the song says. People on home turf take time so suss out the other person, however, it seems these same people who take the time on home turf throw all that out the window? Of course, there have been women in america who knew their mate so well only to discover police at the door arresting him for being a serial killer. One guy used to chop his women at the ankles and keep their shoes and feet in the freezer. Wow, was the wife surprised. SO yes, surprises can and do happen.

But it is the dichotomy I am questioning.

Therefore, it beckons the question : why? why the rush? how can one be so sure of something so far away and not approach it with the same level as when they meet someone on home turf. Oh , I know people can hook up with crap here too. But what makes careful people become so 'un-careful'. Is it desperation ? Neediness. Lack of self confidence. Or pure fantasy of a holiday romance.

Heck, I know someone at work who is 35 , he takes his time getting to know a woman and dates them plenty. But he has gone on four trips to Cuba and now is importing a wife who is 23 and has a 6 year old daughter? Has 'Larry" gone off his rocket? And her?? For all she knows he could be a kitty torturer. I just find all this 'intriguing" having once been in the same soup mixture of sorts.

I have been absolutely sure of lust, desire and passion. BUT LOVE?
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/1/2008 2:05:48 PM
Increasinly aware by meeting people and having conversations and listening to stories about how they met or a friend met a third world person thinking they discovered the elixir of love without truly knowing the person they married for no longer then perhaps a total of 48 days in a year.

What makes a person loose their mind so foolishly yet on home turf they are so picky etc and have dismissed more suitable candidates for lifelong partnerships just to end up with messy baggage of the two legged leeches they have imported.

Why would I care? I care as much because of curiosity? Why do you care to even respond at the grade two level ?

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Are these people desperate or deluded for a relationship ending in marriage
Posted: 2/1/2008 1:55:33 PM
I have become increasingly aware at how many women and men are going to the carribean and south america meeting someone during their one week , or two week stay and coming back declaring they have found their mate, soulmate or whatever you want to call this. THey go back another two or three times and come home engaged or worse married.

How is it these same people who could not commit here suddendly think they know the person so well that they willingly marry them blindly.

THey blindly marry them without consideration of every day compatibility, without knowing if they are bi polar, pyschotic or have some sick pervision/hangup. No thought whatsoever to the fact that the people they marry want immigration.


I am aware of a woman marrying a cuban, three months into the country he got drunk and beat her.

Another man met a woman in Brazil. SHe left him after four months here and is pregnant. Ka-ching, ka-ching is that bun in the oven to her.

ANother chick I know who is rather homely and has the personality energy of a slug marries a 29 year old from south america , 14 years her junior and she thinks its love. ALl he does down there is lifeguarding with no other marketable skills. WHy get saddled with a no skilled immigrant wannabe who will caost money to educate ( if willing) and train, ie into the english language.

ANother man married a peruvian. Oh they had a ceremony down there, another one up here and guess what ? THis beautiful latina left him after 8 months of marriage because he expected her to contribute by finding a job.

What gives? ANd the people who go down there are actually otherwise supposedly level headed, intelligent individuals. But what goes on with the brain? How is it they believe someone so far away is so trust worthy, so perfect, so reliable and so dependable without even spending as much as two to three months everyday with them.

Or perhaps they were never that even keeled to begin with. What do you think?
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What is the best way to get the guy you want?!
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:23:22 PM
Keep talking . And on the last day of class ask him if he is married or has a girlfriend
. If he says yes then smile flirtatiously and say , damn there goes my second question.

If he says no, then honey do your thang..........................
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I want you to come home. And mommy cries.
Posted: 1/28/2008 8:49:58 PM
My concern is why isn't the father of the older two embracing the six year old as part of the family fold.

You are a very rare find in a man. And KUDO's to you for trying to be the father figure in the child's life. My advice next time when a child want's you as a father figure instead of calling dad , call me POPs.

The child is feeling neglected by the attentions her siblings are getting from their father. THe siblings, mother and that father should be made aware that she feels like the fifth wheel. Perhaps you can all sit down and discuss how the family can make her feel inclusive.

Also CAN YOU not meet with the mother.? Have a one to one about her anger issues and get her to seek anger management counselling. It's great to read a post about WOMEN WHO ABUSE. And there are plenty of abusive women out there.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Are we really this superficial and why do men help?
Posted: 1/28/2008 4:25:01 PM
I AGREE , A GROUP OF WOMEN DO HAVE A HARDER TIME GETTING ALONG.


I am a woman and I have seen how group of women interact at work. Meow, catty, ratty and snippy.

I have noticed in life a woman will sooner slag another woman when she is on a mission.
When i first started working at a huge corporation, many people would greet me in the hallways. I still recall one day when a woman about 15 years old said, hey honey don't think you are all that hot cause guys like you, when I was your age I had bigger boobs and a nicer figure. I turned to her and comly said, thankyou for the clarification, I hope in fifteen years I don't go from a calf to a cow.

I have written on this board I am attractive and confident. I have yet to have a man challenge the veracity of my statement, but I have had emails from women asking me to prove it by requesting I send them a photo of me so they can judge for themselves and they always included a line insulting me for being conceited.

TO get back on topic. Prettier and good looking people do have it easier in general as people look on them as being well groomed, physically fit and presentable. George Clooney, Brad Pitt versus Carrot Top, Bela Lugosi (I know he is dead)at a party. Even the women who says looks are not important on this board would be found lining up to check out which of the four men. Exactly. You can find me at the George Clooney line up. At least I am honest. I would be too busy chatting him up to notice whether the ugly guy has a heart, mind and personality. Of course, it Carrot Top would be the only male present then I would have a conversation.

What I have also experienced is 'dog uglies' like to have a goodlooking friend to attract the opposite sex so they can hopefully at least get the leftovers.

As for being superficial, what's wrong with lusting after a beauty or handsome. I have yet to hear anyone say, 'WOW , THAT PERSON IS SO EFFIN UGLY, AND/OR FAT I AM HOT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM/HER"
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
5 MONTHS OF EMAIL AND MESSENGER CONVERSATION. EXPERIENCES
Posted: 1/23/2008 4:14:19 PM
I know that , but I am hoping to glean from those who have had similar experiences and were they more keen or less keen afterwards.

I suppose it boils down to compatibility over communication equipment versus everyday reality of direct interpersonal communication .
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
5 MONTHS OF EMAIL AND MESSENGER CONVERSATION. EXPERIENCES
Posted: 1/23/2008 4:01:54 PM
I have been corresponding with someone for almost 5 months, initially with lots of back and forth emails . For the last couple of months we have engaged in instant messenger. So far it's been really great. The level of compatibility etc during this time has been fabulous. He lives in another city, about a 5 hour trip. In about two months my girlfriend and I are planning to go there for about 10 days to a spa/holiday.

I have spoken on the phone with him and he seems to have a keen wit, great job, and not bad looking by the photos.

I am wondering how many people out there who have corresponded with a person and finally met became disenchanted or realized the expectations were not up to par? The level of compatibility via email, instant messenger and phone can it turn out to be non existent in everyday life?
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
When to disclose a felony conviction
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:36:09 PM
Well if Charlie Manson and Ted BUndy got love letters. (PROVES HOW MANY DUMB AND DESPERATE WOMEN THERE ARE) then your five years for time served might scare some but not many. May I suggest you shut your mouth and do the three month thing, if all goes well and she has seen you everyday , even when you are sick and pissy then spill the beans.

If you killed or raped somone then perhaps its best to tell right away.

If you commited a robbery and beat the shit out of some one wait the three months. After that if the girl seems somewhat unsure , suggest she meet your therapist if such a thing is still what you are doing.

I dated someone , who killed someone , he got off. HE ALSO HAD A GREAT LAWYER. The guy had smacked him a few times , he was told to piss off and leave alone , then he came up AGAIN from behind and hit my friend real hard, my friend spun around and punched him. THe punch did not kill him but hitting the 'bench' did. Plenty of witnesses . All good.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
When to disclose a felony conviction
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:27:52 PM
depends on the crime ,,,,,,,
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 141 (view)
 
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 1/21/2008 8:23:26 PM
Was it arranged? In some countries, Ie Islamic countries families think if a girl is old enough to bleed , then they marry her off to breed.

Recently, in Afghanistan a 13 year old was wed to a 46 year old male.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What if your daughter brought home her BF who is 25 years older than her?
Posted: 1/20/2008 3:55:44 PM
My uncle married a girl 24 years younger then him. She was 24 , he 48, . He died at the age of 70 , she inherited everything after all those years of blissful marriage. Best damn marriage I have ever seen.

Age has nothing to do with it. Your daughter could be bringing home a guy same age and he could turn into a drunken, good for nothing wife beater. FOrget age man, its how he treats her which should be your primary concern.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Push presents??? How effed up is this?
Posted: 1/18/2008 9:13:45 PM
When my mom gave birth to each child , dad bought her a gift and presented it to her in the hospital , all jewellery.

I can't believe this is even asked. Calling it push presents, perhaps amongst the baby mama community but hello. It's always been considered a gallant, loving gesture from mate to the birthing mate.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Dating outside your comfort zone
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:33:13 PM
I was in a relationship with a very handsome, an extremely smart and energetic man who happened to be a paraplegic. Basically a "george clooney" on wheels. Drove a car and was extremely fun. We went canoeing, raced wheelchairs (naturally he won), and we would sneek into major concerts (a very effective ruse). We would go dancing, he would do wheelies and spins on the dance floor including rocking the wheelchair from side to side. Overall, he was the type of guy who made you forget he was in a wheelchair. Fondly remembered, aaaaaahhhhh hhhhhmmmmmmmmm.

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Am I just jaded or are people falling in love with the first person they meet?
Posted: 1/17/2008 8:14:25 PM
Many people experience excitement, lust and sexual attraction as an euphoria leaving them in a state of ' love'. IN this state one seeks acceptance and validation which feeds the ego. When they go through this period be it a week, one month or one year then they settle into knowing each other. THis is when they discover , UGH, what's so interesting about you ? Then the feeling of annoyance creeps in. ERGO. Bye , bye birdy , hello something new .
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
How much time does it take to truly get over your ex?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:17:56 PM
Some actually believe they are over it when they meet someone new to love them and then they marry them and guess what? NOT. DIVORCE AGAIN.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
I know of a person whose boyfriend is on this site
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:44:28 AM
TELL , TELL , AND TELL , INFORM HER.

THEN it's up to her how to pursue. In case she won't believe you, print screen his emails to you . You may have lost a friend in her but in due course I have found the friendships do come back.

I have been there when my girlfriend's fiance hit on me , actually came to my home to profess his interest. I spoke up.

DOING THE RIGHT THING means having a spine. WHISTLE BLOWERS are the ones in this world who see corporations do right , so why can't you expect your friends boyfriend do right by her.

IT TAKES CHARACTER . People will say it's being a nosybody but in my books its showing concern for a friend. You him nothing.

Today too many people see the crime but no witnesses to be found. Wonder why society is as it is?
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
why snicker and laugh during a fight?
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:36:38 AM
I have laughed , nervous laughter. Having someone really angry at you is horrible to experience . How to diffuse. Laughter , giggling no matter who does it is probably an attempt to diffuse the approaching wrath of reproach.

AND NOTHING WRONG WITH MAN CRYING .
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
The best thing a woman has ever done for you
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:16:35 AM
Best thing materialistically? Bought me a sports car after two weeks of dating. When we broke up I gave it back to him. It's amazing how many people thought I should have kept it.
Another bought me an airline ticket to Australia and a two week stay at a very posh resort. Lovely gift , great guy.

But the best gift a guy gave me was a drawing he spent all day working on , getting it perfect to the point of tears. He was 11 , I was 30 but he had such a crush on me , I was the statue on the pedestal. Pure , simple, unadulterated love at any age is so hard to find.

Moral of the story? It's not the price of the gift , its the heart in the gift.

Best thing I ever did for a guy? simply loved him and did for him without having to be reminded or asked....................and forgave him for his transgression.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Would you date a woman who doesn't want kids?
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:02:57 AM
Yes , I have wanted children except I never have had any . The reason being , I am very picky in whom I would want to fertilize my ovaries. For me the object of my affection has to be worthy not only as a mate, lover but also as a father figure. If I feel as I have he could not fulfill the role of 'fatherhood' as I would want and wish I won't pursue a deeper meaningful relationship. . I have seen enough women getting pregnant only to realize the mate they chose is not up to par as a father figure .

When I do date and if the man has children from a previous relationship I seriously take the time to evaluate what type of father he is to them. Biggest turn off is if they are in arrears when it comes to child support!!!! and what type of interaction he has with them.
That being said to me it has never mattered whether 'children' in my life were biological or not.

There are enough children out there who need parents so I have never ruled out adoption possibilities if I met someone and this was our only option. And at my age this would be the only option unless of course he already had kids.

My biggest turn off is men who have children with several diffrent women and women who have children with several different men.

Sad part is many kids are born to people who should have been sterile in the first place.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dating a widower...HELP I'm so confused??
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:34:30 PM
I have a friend who got married at age 18 and at age 55 his wife died.

Four months later he was dating. He had no regrets about how he treated his wife. He was a wonderful husband to her but found himself awufully lonely. Some thought it inappropriate but i say Kudos to him to be able to go on and seek a mate to fill his void.

Of course he was grieving but he had nothing to be ashamed . He gave her a great life and another fine lady out there deserved the same. He met plenty of ladies and this coming weekend after 1.5 years of being a widow he is getting married again.

Scandalous to some, but with so many lonely living people needing love and companionship who are you or I to judge how long a person should stay alone when they have so much to give. Death closes a door and opens it to another life.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Ever pick the wrong person to love and marry when someone else also loved you
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:19:26 PM
and wake up one morning thinking about them . Now you look at the person you are married to and wonder 'what the hell was I thinking?" Has anyone experienced such an awakening?

Do you regret being myopic and wish you had not been so blinded by lust and passion.
And have you come to realize that the person you rejected at the time is now the one you fondly think of on most days?
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Latin people
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:02:10 PM
Hey Mr Gringo, I love you, all the time and all night and forever til they get into North America.

Hey Miss Gringa, I love you , all the time and all night and forever til they get into North America.

Two of my girlfriends married Brazilians, both for some reason after marriage could not work , but with my girl friends being married to them they got citizenship.

One got scuba lessons, and all kinds of equipment and car.

The other left after getting status , stay for 7 months, started to be a difficult mean spirited chihauhau and she had to support him until the mandatory 3 year immigration support expired.

Both after divorce got jobs. You wonder about latin men?

Latina girl stay for 3 years with my friend, they had a baby and because she got a rich Canadian gringo he is paying hefty child support and she is still living off him as she has a sore back and can't work and a payed for Condo.

I could go on , but whenever I have met a Latino from South America , eyes light up when he realizes I live in a tony part of the city.

My experience is they make good domestic help but not stalwart marriage material. And after my recent experience I wonder about all their motives with a big question MARK!!!!!

But hey, I friend of mine got shafted my an Englishman who just wanted to immigrate to Canada and another by a Russian guy. Go figure.

Food ain't all that bad , music is great and some are down right lovely and nice. Guess its the luck of the draw from any culture.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 224 (view)
 
Does being/becoming overweight influence relationships?
Posted: 1/14/2008 4:12:08 PM
True love is blind but fat can still be felt.. eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww gross.

If I was in a committed relationship and my significant other started putting on the poundage I would say something. Eat healthy and get active. Guts hanging over a belly, jiggly butts and flab please stay dressed and covered as I find it unattractive and a turn off. THere is no excuse except medical. Eating from a trough rather then a plate is just gluttony. And gluttony is a sin.
 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Finding true love : (
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:27:22 PM
IMMIGRATION LOVE ? PLENTY OF YOU. JUST DO a google search on Peruvian Brides and a whole litany of sites of latinas looking for Gringo marriages. Should join one of them.

Puhlease , you looky for yanky , why not Canadian? too far for rest of mamacita's family to travel?
 
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