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fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

What kinds of things make a guy bond with a woman... Posted: 9/12/2009 8:45:26 AM
Guys are different than women. Talking about our feelings don't generally make us bond with women. That doesn't mean that all men and women are the same. Generally speaking, we want a woman who does things with us. We want her to hike, bike, and maybe sweep the garge floor together. That's how we bond. But there's one important thing you women have to know about how men bond. We talk about the activity we're doing. Ex. Wow, that hill was tough! Hey, doesn't the garage look so much better now. We DON'T talk about our feelings when we bond. Sex is important to us, but even more important is respect. At work, we demand respect from the people we deal with every day. If we come home to someone who disrepects us, we don't feel any love for them. One of the worst things you can do to a guy is to tell him that he can't fix the lawnmower, the car, or anything else. That's what we do. W fix things. We bond with other guys by fixing things together. We DON'T talk about feelings. We do stuff together. So, if you want to bond with a guy, you better be willing to spend time with him, not talk about your feelings every five minutes and that sort of thing. We like a great kiss and the thought that we are going to get great sex from that lady. It doesn't mean we expect it on the first date or even the third, but if we suspect that she just isn't into sex or uses it as a favor or a tool we're out of there. This bring me to my next point. OP-I will cover them as you mentioned them. 1. Withhold sex-the first wife did that too often to count. You want us to talk to you? We want sex. If talking and sharing is the foundation for you, a great sex life is iit for us. I hate to tell you, but since you already know I will say it flat out. You withhold sex and we will get it somewhere else. It's just that simple. we're all here because we couldn't make it with our past partner and too many guys have had this problem in the past and won't accept it again. 2. Consatnt contact-we see you at home. We don't want personal contact at work. Then you end up working or going to school together and living together too? Heck no!!!! We like to keep our personal lives away from our work lives. You get closer by doing stuff together away from work. Finally I will say this about your pictures. You're a very beautiful woman. The pictures on the bed are cute and sexy without being trashy. If you were taking pics of you on the bed in lingerie, that would be kind of trashy in my opinion. You look and sound very interesting to me and if we lived closer I would love to go on a date and get to know you. Be yourself, but be aware that guys do bond differently emotionally, physically, and mentally than women do. That's a good thing. It makes for great times and excitement as well as tough times. This life should be full of joy, laughter, a little heartache, and a lot of love!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

First phone calls... Posted: 6/26/2009 8:17:26 AM
I think you can know right away over the phone in some cases. One lady mentioned the voice and if it irritates you. I have talked to some people and their laugh was annoying. I went out with them for a first date because otherwise I was interested, but after three hours I knew that there was no way I could live with that. I actually knew it after 15 minutes, but they were usually fun dates either way. forum101 mentioned her southern voice. I'm sure that bothers some people, but I find it endearing to hear and it certainly doesn't bother me although I can understand how some people might feel.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

How do you resist? Posted: 5/23/2009 9:28:59 PM
Judge not lest Seriously, I wish I had your problem I just don't have time to tell everyone that their profile is silly. GET A LIFE!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Cant stant doggs.. Posted: 5/23/2009 9:15:54 PM
Like a Soldier Dude, are you nuts? You can't come on here and say you don't like animals. Even women who don't have them love them because they're so cuddly, affectionate, the good ones don't stray, and they give love unconditionally. That is what women want and you come on here saying you don't like animals which truly makes you bad! People bathe their animals, but not everyday and they poop and smell it and and stick their nose in it too. They also stick their nose in other animal's butts or even their own. Doo doo stinks and so do the animals. The animals run up and down and get sweaty, but they don't get that bath every night. Those are facts and many people will dispute this and continue to say their dog/cat/bird/hamster/whatever don't shed/stink/lick your face/whatever, but we all know the truth. Ask before you meet if they have animals. You can be subtle and find out. Then you can easily back away without making every animal lover mad. If you can't read between the lines here, I will let you know that you pissed a whole lot of women off with your comments and I probably will too. That's life. Good luck.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Girls hitting boys Posted: 5/18/2009 7:01:35 PM
FINALLY!!!!!! itsallinthesoul has it right!!! "if you hit someone, you SHOULD expect to be hit back...eventually" We told my son never to hit back and his mom punished him for defending himself one time. I came home early one day and walked to the bus stop when he didn't come around the corner right away. He was getting his butt kicked by three boys. I stopped it and he told us later the boys and girls both hit him because they knew he wouldn't hit back. My wife had called the school and bus service several times, but it never stopped. We went into the back yard that day and I taught him how to punch and defend himself. The next week the principal wanted to talk to me about my son hitting the bullies back and I told him that he had not stopped the other kids from hitting my son and it was his fault. I don't condone violence, but our kids live in a harsh world. If you don't defend yourself, you will suffer. We have police to protect us from criminals who attack us. That's how we stop them. Kids who bully must be stopped too. Talking to their parents work sometimes, but sometimes the kids who are getting bullied just have to fight back. That's life. It's not easy. but it is what it is.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 107 (view)

Why is the word relationship scare men away? Posted: 5/10/2009 10:08:51 PM
speciallady28 You are right! We are scared of relationships. Yes, we are scared of women just wanting to spend our money. I like it when I am in a long term relationship. We take turns buying each other dinner. We buy each other gifts. We split a vacation together. If we live together or are married, that's when some of the crazy stuff starts. You want new furniture. We want new golf clubs. You want your hair and nails done every month. We want to go out and shoot at the gun range. You want to buy dishes or decorations. We want to save for a new truck. This is why I believe in keeping separate accounts. We put monthly money in a joint account for bills and we each have our own money to buy what is important to us as individuals. I want to make a relationship work. When someone tries to control another person for any reason, that person gets scared. Women got screwed by men in divorce sometimes, but my experience shows that most times the men came out on the short end of the stick. That might simply be mine and my friends experience though. I've said it before. I do want a prenup the next time I get married. I definitely don't want to fight over what I still have left and have earned and built up over the past 6 years since my divorce. I don't mind sharing what I have, but I want to be able to choose to do that. That's why individual accounts make so much sense.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 129 (view)

Does daddy help support me? Posted: 5/6/2009 8:20:38 PM
golfer38 hit this one on the head. If your child asks you if his other parent pays child support, you should be telling them that's between you two. That is an adult issue and the children should not be put in the middle. If your child asks if the other parent loves them, I would not recommend saying something you just don't know to be true. I would simply say: How could they not love a girl/boy as great as you are! You don't need to lie. You just should not be brutally honest with kids. They need to be kept as innocent as possible. I know a lot of people will disagree, but I have had my kids ask things about my ex or our marriage. I tell them that those things are private and between me and their mom. I do tell them nice things about their mom, but never criticize or put them in a negative light in any way. My kids ask questions all the time about why we broke up. Should I be honest and tell them the truth? It's the truth, but it is a brutal truth that would shake them to the core. I won't do it even though I know she talks really bad about me. She has even cursed me on the cell phone when the kids were in the car with her. I like to think that when the kids are older, they will know who did the right thing for them as a parent. By the way, I am the custodial parent and what I get from her doesn't pay the kid's lunch money at school every month.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Joint Bank Accounts Good or Bad Idea Posted: 5/6/2009 2:27:41 PM
jsphn11 I have really been giving this a lot of thought since my divorce. I like the points you made and wanted to let you know what I thought. First. I won't be having any more kids with anyone, so I don't have that issue. The second thing I do consider is that I have kids and my future wife may have kids too. That means I have more concerns that just a spouse as she does as well. I think that if I ever get married again I will do the following: Joint versus individual accounts I think you should have your individual accounts and a joint to pay monthly bills as well as other agreed upon bills. Joint-you determine what the monthly bills are and expected purchases/expenditures throughout the year and put in proportionate amounts. You make 60,000. Your spouse makes 40,000. The expected expenditures are 1,500 per month. You put in 900 and your spouse puts in 600. That seems fair to me. Now I want to cover your possible concerns. 1. Vacation – I think that this should be budgeted and put in the joint account monthly as shown by proportion above. If you want to go on a golf trip with your friends, that is not a family trip. You should pay for it out of your individual account. 2. Time at work/promotions – I would have mixed family. I take care of my kids and help with hers and she does the same for me. I think if you have kids together and you BOTH decide that one of you should stay home; you should be given a personal amount from the working person's income. 3. Moving for work – I do think if one spouse moves for another. You have to compensate for the others income if necessary. I won't be moving and will not move with a spouse, so that's really not an issue for me. 4. Loss of job – I think if one spouse loses the job, then the other takes care of all expenses until the other finds another job. There's no money to pay back, but if you're not working and not looking real hard I don't see giving the other one spending money as an option. 5. Children's Education-this is an add on for me. My ex will not be helping with my kid’s education. This is an all important reason for me to keep a separate account. If my future spouse has an ex who helps with her kids, then that would be unfair for our joint money to be spent equally on all of "OUR" kids. She may spend 20,000 and her ex spends the same. She might think it's unfair if I want to spend 40,000 for my own kids. This is an excellent reason not to have all of your money in a joint account. 6. Cars- I have also thought about this issue. If my spouse is the one to have the vehicle for our combined family, I would contribute money to have one vehicle to carry all of us at the same time. I.e. I drive an accord. It costs 25,000. She drives a Toyota minivan. It costs 40,000. I think the difference of 15,000 should be split between us is some way. Maybe it should be done by the income proportion as the monthly bills are. That would mean I would need to give her 9,000 to help pay for the van. I also want to pass some of my assets to my kids. I think that if my future wife wants to pass on money she earned before we married, she should without any say from me. All of this is a complex issue. I think that what matters is you have two people who are both fiscally responsible, able to live off their individual incomes before marriage, and able to rationally discuss this and set is up before you get married. If you can't agree on how money is spent, you will be doomed to fail as a couple.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 114 (view)

bend over. Posted: 4/24/2009 2:33:51 PM
"more women should be confident enough to take matter into their own hand, get a strap on and screw their man, they will thank you after hahah" They'll be doing something to you afterwards, but it won't be thanking you!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

CONTROLING GIRLFRIEND Posted: 4/21/2009 3:46:43 PM
Dump her now!!!! She will suck the life out of you!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

He's Coming Around Posted: 4/21/2009 2:35:27 PM
You never expected him to write back? I don't believe it. You want to see him? Then call him, but stop acting like this was not your intention. You don't want to call him? Stop writing him.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Advice Please Posted: 4/21/2009 1:45:28 PM
Don't take his money. Move where you can afford to pay your own way. You think you have problems with him now? Wait until you owe him money too!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Are divorced people afraid of long term commitments? Posted: 4/21/2009 1:40:53 PM
I have to agree with carolann0308 here in one specific way. I would rather hang from the gallows than re-marry someone who had the same issues my ex had or had other serious issues as well. Finding a match is VERY hard! It does seem that there are so many things that become deal breakers the older you get. You learn what you can and can't live with and to find someone that meets all of those expectations is very hard. I never understood it until a close friend told me after her divorce that she finally felt happy just staying home. She had lost the enjoyment of her home because of the guy she had married. I feel the same way now. I enjoy my home and am afraid of losing that again.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

I don't like sparks and chemistry. Posted: 4/13/2009 2:05:56 PM
I once thought as you did, but I have met a few ladies that met the "criteria" that I am looking for, but after we meet the "feeling" of being attracted to them is just not there. I think the sparks and chemistry that you are trying to avoid saying is just the attraction you feel for another person. Yes, a piece is missing. But, I think you just can't define the piece as a missing criteria. I don't meet people in real life who don't meet my criteria. I like the word sparks. You get a shock to your system and it "sparks" your heart. When I feel the attraction, my heart beat picks up a little.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

why don't guys give girls flowers anymore Posted: 4/9/2009 2:56:59 PM
Maybe he has the same interest as you do. You have to admit that if your profile shows you're self centered, that might be the same people that you are picking.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Singles Decorating Posted: 4/7/2009 3:16:22 PM
If your home is warm and inviting, that will be good enough. I think most guys see a lot of expensive stuff and think we might be buying some of that in the future and that does scare us. ;-)

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Dad's who dated women who didn't really like his children Posted: 4/7/2009 2:16:47 PM
I only have one word for you. Vasectomy

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Is no father better? Posted: 4/7/2009 2:01:50 PM
It's better for the children if the deadbeat mentally nut mother stays away from them. The bad influence is really bad and can affect their ability to have a good relationship in the future.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

why do they choose me? Posted: 4/1/2009 4:28:26 PM
GoneSailinBabe and 4x4monster have it right. You are looking to pass on the responsibility for your decisions. You are the common denominator. As my sister would say, your picker is just broke. There's probably a few guys around you that would love to date you that are good guys and you keep picking the users. Look around and decide what your values are. You want the guy who is smooth talking and all that? You keep getting it. Look for a quiet guy who is not talking the pants off of every girl he meets.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Can you date someone who your not attracted to; but they treat you very well Posted: 4/1/2009 11:39:18 AM
Does he know how you feel about him? Yes. Then you are both okay with it. No. You are a user!

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Did you ever attempt to reconcile with your ex? Posted: 3/31/2009 2:29:27 PM
Jaxi I have tried it and it didn't work out because my ex just said what I wanted to hear, but all of her old issues came out with time. My advice is to go to counseling with the guy and see if you can work it out between you TWO. I don't think you should see this guy socially or with your eldest son until you know for sure that your ex has a true change of heart. If you move too fast, I think you will be betraying the trust that your son has built up in you when you made the decision to end the relationship. If you have anger and resentment, then you must know that your son will have it as well. Move very slowly and do not introduce him back into your family until he has proven himself. You give trust freely the first time, but only after proof has been given the second time. Good luck!

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Dating while unemployed Posted: 3/31/2009 2:03:48 PM
Find a job. Then date. If you can pay all of your own bills and still have a little to date for the next year, then go ahead and date. But I would be focused on getting some type of part time job at least until something better comes along.

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Cheating, unhappy & married with kids Posted: 3/27/2009 3:29:46 PM
Your friend is a dirtbag!! Why are you friends with a guy like this? What should he do? Stop cheating or get a divorce. He is a liar and a cheater. He is dishonoring the woman he choose and the mother of his son. Hi son is not everything. He has put his cheating ahead of everything else. Does this make him a bad father? OH YEAH!!! WHY? Does he really care for his son's feeling? NO!!!

FISHIN4U266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

You are everything I ever wanted in a woman... Posted: 3/27/2009 3:12:09 PM
OP This guy seems to be moving slowly because YOU are the one who is acting like a player!!! You are dating more than one guy. A guy would be a nut to get too close to someone who is still playing the field like you are.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 162 (view)

Do guys feel intimidated by a strong, independent woman? Posted: 3/24/2009 2:43:08 PM
I have to agree with colorsoutsidethelines here. We want an independent woman who can handle things like money, job, kids, house, vehicles, yardwork and all the rest because we want a partner in life. When you can stand on your own 2 feet, then you can show the other person you have needs and they can meet them. It's when you are so needy and unable to manage your own life and the daily grind that goes with money, job, and the rest that wears your SO down. I know a military wife can handle all that. They are special and truly unlike any other woman you could ever find!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 491 (view)

Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment! Posted: 3/23/2009 7:41:10 PM
I know some people will take this the wrong way, BUT You Canadian people are CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I lived there, I would never move in with or marry a woman who had kids that were not mine. I could see spending lots of time together, but I would never put myself in a position where I could pay child support for someone else's kids. That's just WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PS The crazy woman on here who is writing these books scares me even more!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Is It Possible To Be In Love With Someone You've Never Met? Posted: 3/20/2009 1:16:04 PM
You might love that person as you know them through that medium (letter writing, phone, texting, IM) of communication, BUT You might not love them if you meet them. SO You only love the idea that you formed of them. You don't know the whole person until you meet.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like? Posted: 3/20/2009 10:40:28 AM
There's a woman I dated that we could never be a couple. She just drives me nuts, but the instant we get near each other I am turned on like I never have been with any other woman. I have tried 3 times to make it work in a relationship with her and we have great fun, but she just drivers me bonkers. We have awesome sex, but couldn't ever live together.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 425 (view)

Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment! Posted: 3/18/2009 11:59:34 AM
I have to go with tick tock here. I get the child support and wouldn't mind showing where I spend the money every month. The bills for the kids are at least 4 times what I get, but who cares. They're mine and I don't mind buying what they need. If you receive child support, you should be willing and really required to show how you spend it for the children's welfare. What's wrong with being transparent about that money?

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 422 (view)

Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment! Posted: 3/18/2009 11:11:12 AM
In response to all that by daisypetals01. It works both ways. My ex didn't care about parenting time or custody until she found out she would have to pay child support to me. She really screwed up in court when the judge asked her if she was okay with the agreement and then assigned what she would be required to pay. She said she had never heard of women who have to pay child support. Then she yelled out: If I have to pay, then I want custody. The judge was pissed. She whines to me and the kids all the time and constantly tries to get it changed. Quits her job and gets behind all the time. What makes her different than the guys who don't pay?

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Why is he dishonest? Posted: 3/17/2009 10:11:17 AM
Is he cheating? I have no idea, but anyone who makes demands on me like they are my master would be out of there! You want copies of the phone bill? Why are you with this guy? You don't trust him and it sounds like he is cheating. Throw his butt out of your place!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Dealing with your mad man Posted: 3/16/2009 12:52:34 PM
mountain geek is the one who hit it on the head for me. When I used to get upset, my SO would bring me a beer and send the kids out in the back yard to play. She would be wearing some short shorts or running around in just a t-shirt. She wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. She would start cleaning or bending down to pick up the kids toys or something like that. My eyes would follow her everywhere and pretty soon my mind was off my problems and wondering if we had enough time now for a quickie or if I would have to wait until the kids went to bed. Maybe I had to wait, but we always got in some quick kisses throughout the evening. Here's the point that some women miss. I think I'm like most other guys. When we get upset, we don't want to talk about it and we don't want you to try to make us feel better the way you would need to be made to feel better. Let us relax and offer us what you know makes us happy. Beer, food, and sex.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

can you stay hard if you are NOT attracted physically.... Posted: 3/16/2009 12:30:04 PM
Are there people having sex with people they're not attracted to? I can't even kiss someone I'm not attracted to much less have sex with them. I have a friend now that I dated before and although most people might not consider her beautiful I think she's hot. The personality really attracts me.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

What about honesty and honor? Are they character traits of the long past? Posted: 3/16/2009 8:11:34 AM
I always try to be as honest as I can without intentionally harming people. You may scare guys off with your honesty, but it is not always the actual words that scares people away. The attitude that you show may well be the very reason why. I personally like to write back and forth for a while to get to know someone. They will eventually show you their true colors when given time. Love is easy to find. It's trusting someone to treat you right after you have committed yourself to them that is scary.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

Date A or B or neither??? Posted: 3/14/2009 11:49:10 PM
You are complaining about these guys for one reason or another. you need to tell them you don't see a future with them and don't date them. Dating them with them thinking there might be something long term makes you a user. Be honest with them and move on. Good luck.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

What does Friends First really mean? Posted: 3/14/2009 11:32:58 PM
Katerra I guess i have some questions to ask you to understand where YOU are coming from. 1) If you want to be friends first, then you are not dating the person. Is that right? 2) If you are not dating because you have not determined yet that you are friends, does that mean you are free to date other people while seeing if you are going to be friends? 3) If you have to be friends first before you date and you're not dating yet, do you expect the other person to ever pay? I wonder about this because I don't ever buy for people I don't consider to be friends. Do you see where all this "friends first" leads everyone to? It confuses the heck out of guys because we know that you have past issues. This friends first tells me that you may even have commitment issues and trust issues that I will have to overcome because or your past dating. I don't know about anyone else, but this dating stuff is hard enough without putting more confusion into it and making it harder than it should be. Here's one thing i do know about dating. I like to kiss. It would sure stink to try to get to be friends and then find out that person stinks at kissing and other things. I'm not saying that we should rush into sex. I'm just saying that I personally am not interested in trying to have a "friends first" relationship. Other people might. I have friends. I have great friends, but I didn't get them by trying to date them. It just happened. We came to know each other, relied on each other in hard times, and then became good friends. You can't make it work that easy.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 67 (view)

Do I have the right to be..... Posted: 3/14/2009 10:58:16 PM
You should be happy. You've only known him for a month and you found out he's not for you. I think you were both wrong, but we all do things we shouldn't. He should have been decisive enough to pick a restaurant that he could afford and was happy with. You should not have been so spiteful to choose the most expensive thing at the next place to punish him for his childish actions. You both should just go your separate ways and be equally thankful you found out what each was like in the beginning. I will say this. In my opinion, you do have the right to be annoyed by his actions. No one can tell another person when it is right or wrong to be annoyed. They can tell you their opinion only. Move on and could wisely this time. Good luck.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 92 (view)

What was the first sign of abuse? Posted: 3/13/2009 7:37:10 AM
Oh yeah. The early signs slip by because you think they're isolated, but when it happens all the time and begins to increase, that's when you realize they are abusive. Mine happened with money. My ex wanted to control it all the time. It went fine until she started on spending sprees. Then when I opened an individual account, the verbal and emotional abuse came pouring out. It wasn't long before the lies and then the hitting and pushing started. You might be bigger and stronger, but they can still beat on you and hurl names and insults against you. I agree with MissMewsic. My biggest fear is someone changing on me after I would be married to them. It was very subtle in the beginning and then snowballed so fast it was unbelievable.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 942 (view)

guys who don't like blowjobs Posted: 3/12/2009 2:37:37 PM
OK, I guess I must be one of the odd ones here. I have only cum once in my life from someone doing it and it was because she used her hand to help it along. My ex choked on it like it was killing her. Every other person I've had try it has always said their mouth hurts when they do it. I read a bunch of these posts and I just have a hard time believing that women like to do it. It seems like most women think it is a chore to do it and hate it. I must have a run of bad luck on this point. Before anyone says anything. I like pleasing my partner and doing it to them. It's awesome when you're licking them and they cum on your face,

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Initiating Sex Posted: 3/10/2009 1:45:38 PM
This is too easy to solve. Here's what you do. 1) Buy a crock pot 2) Start the crock pot 8 hours before dinner time 3) have sex as soon as you get home 4) Eat hot food whenever you want, but preferably AFTER you have sex Hey! I could make money giving good advice!!!

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Rejection by phone or email after one great date and planned on another? Posted: 3/6/2009 2:47:20 PM
It's up to you. Everyone has the choice on how they want to end it. The thing that matters is that you just don't disappear. Send him an email, ext, or call him if you want. Your choice.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

What do you bring to the table!! Posted: 3/5/2009 9:08:45 AM
"I think most women (especially the over 50 crowd) want to go out for dinner, go to the movies, travel, go downtown, shop, go to a concert" "I'd love to go to Hawaii this winter....I'd love to go on a cruise...I'd love to go into Vancouver for the weekend. It's all just talking and dreaming but the first time they ask to borrow $20.00 for gas or tell you they're short on their rent, etc. it's kind of a mood killer and makes you wonder why they were tentatively planning anything at all with you." girlygirl555 I'm glad to hear that you have a boyfriend. I personally would not want to date someone who was so shallow to ask me what I brought to the table at the same time she was talking about going to dinner, the movies, shopping, to a concert, Hawaii, a cruise, and Vancouver for the weekend. Here's what I know. I did split half of everything I earned when I got divorced. I see the house my ex lives in now and I know she is proud of it too, but I don't mind because my kids live there half of the time. I don't care that her boyfriend lives in something that I paid for, but that's besides the point. That's all in the past. Here we are in the present. I'm lucky. I retired from my first profession and have a guaranteed income with cost of living raises for the rest of my life. I got a good education and have another great job now. What scares me is getting into another marriage with someone new and splitting all of my assets again. Too many people are too shallow for my tastes and concerned about what I bring to the table. Bring your own assets to the table. You want to go shopping? Good for you. Go ahead and spend YOUR own money. I am not 25 years old anymore and don't date someone who is. We have worked our whole lives for what we have and we can each buy ourselves what we need and want. Joint accounts at this stage in our life? You must be high! You're an adult, right? Then buy your own stuff. Why do you worry about what you can get out of me? I am a nice guy and I don't have trouble getting a date, but I'm not an immature man and I'm not too easily taken by a woman who is concerned about what job I have, what I drive, or the house I own. You ask about money and that's how I answered you. I hope that answers your question about what I bring to the table.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

You have kids….do you let him stay over? Posted: 3/3/2009 11:35:25 AM
Most of the time I agree with BDJ, but I don't think anyone can know what they will do until they have kids. I have a daughter in high school and I definitely don't want her thinking that it's okay to engage in premarital sex. I know I did it. I know that may be contradictory, but I have to do what I think is best for her now. It would be so easy to sleep with a woman with my kids in the next room. I've been tempted before, but I do think it's best if you try to set some kind of example for the kids. When she's an adult, I will see things differently. I want her to believe that sex should be with someone you love and want to be with the rest of your life. If you have people sleeping over when they're young, you lose the ability to tell them it's wrong for them to do it. That may not matter when they're 20, 25, or even 30, but it sure does matter when they're 15, 16, and 17 years old. I talk to my kids all the time about the danger of having sex too young and how it can ruin your life and your chance to experience the world.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Grown up sons who are angry and hostile Posted: 2/27/2009 1:24:20 PM
You are in a big mess. You need to stop being a doormat for your older sons. Here's what I would do in your situation. 1) Don't buy your older sons anything. They don't appreciate it and treat you like crap. 2) Keep them out of your life when they are nasty. Hang up the phone or tell them to leave. You need to not be the one contacting them. They had a hard time growing up, but not they are adults and you have done your best with them. 3) Concentrate on your youngest and raising him good and in a stable environment. If you don't give those boys some tough love and keep them away, you will loose them or even worse they will harass you just like your ex did. The ex is gone. It's now up to you to control your life.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

care and bi-polar Posted: 2/25/2009 12:09:22 PM
You can't compare the abuse you receive from a person who is bi-polar with someone who has cancer. This kind of thinking is immature. You have to realize that some people will never understand what your life is like.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

care and bi-polar Posted: 2/25/2009 10:58:27 AM
Take it from a guy who has been there. My ex had it bad. I was already married to her when we found out she had it and I just learned to accept it. It was so painful. There will ALWAYS be ups and downs. I don't care what some web site says. I only know from my own 15 years of experience with it every day. They feel up and hate taking the medicine, so they stop and then they have some terrible downs. When they're up, life is fantastic. When they're down, you better keep a low profile in the house because life is going to get tough. You need to decide if you're in this for the long haul because this disease is never going to go away. My ex went through periods where she was better, but the bad times were killer times. I would never knowingly put myself or my kids through that again. So, are you willing to accept this for the rest of your life? Yes-don't break up. It is what it is and will never go away. No-end it now and just be friends with the kids friends if you can handle it. Caution-if you end it, she will become much worse and lies and false accusations could fly. Be careful. You could find yourself involved with law enforcement in a negative manner. Again, this is all from my own experience.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 342 (view)

Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment! Posted: 2/25/2009 8:17:20 AM
starfun77 got it right. Every time I think about getting serious with someone, the thought of marriage and the possibility of going through another long hard divorced scare the crap out of me. There is no way I will ever get married again without a prenup. There was another thread where a woman constantly talked about how important it was to have a trust and how she would never sign a prenup. I have really thought about this some more. I think if I could get my house, my bonds, and stock, and all of my liquid assets into a trust that couldn't be broken, I would go along with no prenup. That would ensure that everything I entered a new marriage it couldn't be touched if it fell apart. Don't get me wrong. I have no intention of getting married with the thought that it might not work, but I don't get into my car thinking I might not have an accident too. It's just insurance in case it happens. People get divorced just like they have car wrecks. Both wreck your life in some way or another.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Looking back, can you pinpoint where it all went wrong? Posted: 2/25/2009 7:53:23 AM
It's over=this is not working for me When someone tells you it's over, that is the same thing as saying it's not working for them. You want explanations and want to know why. If there is something he really doesn't like about you, do you want to hear it? Maybe you do, but I reserve the right to just say that it's over.

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Looking back, can you pinpoint where it all went wrong? Posted: 2/24/2009 2:58:24 PM
pepsichall and landra This is one of the problems some women may have and don't even know it. Some people just love throwing out this word coward for men who want to end a relationship. Women have this right to end a relationship the way they want, but if a guy ends it the way he wants, he is labeled a coward. I know that some of my friends and I say the same thing. If we are dating a woman and she starts to show some of the same things we hated about our exes, we are out of there. Why stick around and try to explain it? I don't like to just disappear. I will tell them that it's over. It's not worth arguing about and it's hard to explain to someone that you remind them of your ex. It's just easier to say that it's over. What's wrong with that?

fishin4u266

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

debating politics Posted: 2/24/2009 10:32:47 AM
No opinion=No thought Everyone should know about what is happening locally, nationally, and globally in some form or another. I don't say that you have to care or stand on the street waving a sign, but you should be able to talk about it. A woman who has no knowledge of current events or has no opinion is scary to me. You can't live in a shell. I like a lively conversation and can even poke fun at another point of view and take the joke back too. I tend to to date women of the opposite opinion, but that always makes for good communication especially during election season.

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