Do you feel you Do More in a relationship - Or does your SO do more for you? chat & forums.

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QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Do you feel you Do More in a relationship - Or does your SO do more for you? Posted: 11/16/2009 5:59:47 AM
caramelsweetness2, Not to toot my own horn but I usually try to cook what they like, make my place really comfortable with lots of creature comforts for them, give my man massages, dress up in sexy lingerie and all that stuff. Lol, and I guess all of that made these men respect you more, huh? The "guy" usually does considerably less for me. Guess not.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 67 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/23/2009 9:31:06 AM
green.apple, My point is more than clear. The new wife had a choice. She didn't really have to ruin other people's marriage/life. Or interfere. Now that she had done it, it is quite hypocritical and absurd to label her as " supportive and nice to kids".. it's absurd! It's not at all hypocritical, that's just your black and white views of things. We all have choices in life and I'm pretty sure all of your choices wasn't always right, but does that mean you can't ever do positive things? From OP's post, the current wife is portraying some type of support and interest in these children, you either accept or you don't. Do you not realize how many people who are divorced or no longer together, constantly have negative drama surrounding their children all the time? Seems to me like OP is putting her own personal feelings over her children's well-being. At 40 +, I would expect wayyy more wisdom coming from her....and you. Sit there and continue being upset and bitter, who REALLY cares? No one.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/23/2009 9:08:07 AM
green.apple, What a sweet way of turning the tables and calling a marriage-breaker an angelic and altruistic supporter. I feel like puking. No one's turning the tables here, I'm speaking of the present. I never said the current wife is innocent. But out of the 4 years OP has been divorced from her husband, she hasn't mention one thing this lady has done that is creating any drama. And if you ask me, her HUSBAND is the one fucked up their marriage. He chose to cheat and that will never change, if it wasn't this lady, i'm sure it would be have been another. If I could get a coin for each time I had an opportunity to ruin someone else's marriage, I would have been a billionaire by now. And plenty of other women...so what's your point?? Married guys will never have even a tiny place in my romantic life. Ok, that's your opinion, evidently other women had a big place in the OP's husband's romantic life. So, for all of you out there saying how supportive and angelic this B is: just think who slept with a married man who had kids in the first place. She had a choice. She chose her own comfort over that of the kids. For she already did the worst thing that she could ever do to the kids. No million game and activity visits will fix that. That's very hypocritical of her to act all angelic and supportive now. Well, gee, just think who slept with another woman KNOWING he's a married man who have kids and a wife at home. He had a choice, but he chose his own comfort over his kids and wife. He did the worst thing that he could ever do to his kids...but gee, would he be forgiven by them??? It's soo funny to me, how when a woman gets cheated on, she more upset at the "other woman" than she is at her own husband....the one who stood with your azz in front of God and your family and made the vows...the one who is suppose to be committed to you. Lady, get a life, no one is making the current wife seems like an angelic and altruistic supporter but you.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 57 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/23/2009 7:50:32 AM
miss_contemplative, You don't need to "get over" anything. You'll feel that anger until you are done feeling it and you'll move on. She does need to get over it simply because she's is making things difficult for herself and possible her children. This has been going on (that we know of) for about 4 years...seems to me that time should have healed some of the pain and anger, but this lady is extremely angry and frustrated...for what? Yes, her ex husband cheated on her, but does it mean her life is over? People cheat on each other all the time. And the sad part is that her ex and his wife could give a f*ck about her. Yet she's STILL sitting up here wasting all her time focusing on them, when she needs to focus on herself and let go of the bitterness. I can see if the ex's wife is creating drama, but she's actually there supporting their (ex husband and OP) children.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/23/2009 5:01:08 AM
Inmyfavor, While I understand your frustration/anger, I have to say that 4 years is a little too long to still feel this way. You sound sooo angry as if this is something that has happened recently. You need to let this bitterness go. I do think it has alot to do with the fact that they are together and happy and you don't have a SO to be happy with...go out and find a man...and stop focusing on them. I don't see anywhere in your original post that this lady is contributing drama. You're not fussing or fighting, really don't see a problem except with you. You have a choice, keep holding on the anger or release it.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

For those looking for FRIENDS on POF ~ What is It? Posted: 9/21/2009 6:33:32 PM
nappykat, If you have in your profile that you are looking for a 'Friend' - what does that mean to you? What do you expect? Exactly what it says...a friend. Someone to get to know, talk to, and/or possible hang out with from time to time. That is what I'm seeking. Now, I'm also open to a relationship as well if it leads to that. I like for things to have a natural flow, no pressure. As far as what I'm expecting, I expect nothing. I take things as is. Why aren't people looking for a 'real' friend but instead of using the word to imply something else - like sexual hookups or LTR relationships? Not sure, but maybe that's their definition of "friend"...but regardless, it's up to you to see what they are all about and if you're not on the same page, move on. It doesn't take long to figure that out. I understand those looking for LTR's might put 'friend' because they think a great relationship start with good friends - but aren't you missing out on good friends by not considering those who don't want an LTR? Then it's their lost. You can't control other people nor make them be friend. Why worry over something that you have no control over.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 186 (view)

Do men ever stop looking for another woman? Posted: 9/21/2009 5:36:18 PM
bamagirl 404u, Do men ever stop looking for another woman? Simply put, I say no. They may stop for a minute though.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 2385 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 9/19/2009 5:21:50 PM
Yes I have, but it was on another site about 3 years ago. He was a nice looking guy, however, he was stationed overseas and was home for the weekend. Our date was nice though. Would I do it again? Sure. I don't post my pictures online simply because I don't want the whole world to see my picture. You never know who is looking and what they are doing with your photos. Photos can easy be copied and pasted...never know, your head my just end up on a sex video, lol. Anyway, if someone message me and I'm interested in knowing them, I will send a picture...but most guys that message me are fat or chubby...never really the type I'm attracted to anyway...so why bother.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

He/She Still Loves Them & has Pics - Can You Handle It? Posted: 9/19/2009 5:12:03 AM
Nappykat, So what about you? Does it annoy that your current SO can still love his (her) former wife/husband/gf/bf/SO? No it doesn't...as long as it's not "current love" where he hasn't realized he's not over her and wants her back. Do you want all relics of a past relationship out of sight out of mind? Why? Does this say anything about your insecurity, jealousy or does this say more about their disrespect and insensitive feelings about you? I sure do, because I think it's disrespectful to the current SO, for a man/woman to have pictures of their past loves sitting up in the house on walls, dressers, etc. It's fine if you still have pictures, just put them up in a box or something. It has nothing to do with insecurity or jealousy...but RESPECT has everything to do with it.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Is it just me? Why can't I get some sort of commitment with almost year of dating? Posted: 9/18/2009 5:28:11 PM
whisp66, I really don't see what the problem is. Apparently you are wanting for him to spell it out to you, because you already know why he's not committing, it's in your original post. If a committment is what you want, then find someone who will provide that to you. Otherwise, sit there and continue to take his crap and complain.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

when is enough, enough Posted: 9/18/2009 4:58:23 AM
trishalloyd, When enough is enough? When that person SEES that enough is enough...apparently she hasn't, so there is nothing anyone can do to help her, except herself.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

I find this site disheartening.... Posted: 9/16/2009 6:51:04 PM
nmaccari, Question? If you do just fine in real life, why are you on here? I mean are you not finding women you share common interests with in real life. Don't seem to me like you're having much success on that side either. But to answer your question, I do indeed feel the same way, that's why after 4 months of being on this site, I became wayyy more interesting in the forums...that's about the best thing on here, lol.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Why Do Disgraced Politicians' Wives Stand by their Side? Posted: 9/16/2009 10:38:06 AM
kofi - 68, Funny you asked this question, lol, and I was thinking the same thing. Last night, I watched "The Secret Lives of Women" on messy divorces and I'm not sure the exact politican's name...but he was one who came out of the closet and admitted he had an affair with another man. Anyways, on this programming, the wife was telling her side of the story and basically the main reason she stood by him during his speech was because of their daughter. So it was a front, she was one way on camera and another way out of the public's eye. However, I can't see why any woman would do this, I know I couldn't. Have not a clue why the men do this. Why not get it all out in private? Is this a sign of the strength of their love/relationship or an attempt by the woman to help keep the "gravy train" on tracks? Would YOU stand by your man/woman under such conditions? It's definitely not a strength of love or strength of any thing in my book. It's pathetic and saddening. However, I do believe it's all about the "gravy train" or moving on up in the political world.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Why do women stay in a relationship that is not good for them? Posted: 9/15/2009 5:44:53 PM
ExNavyWave, Why do women stay in a relationship that is not good for them? Because they have low self esteem, don't want to be alone, don't want to start over, lack of self love/worth, etc.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

dating a drama queen??? Posted: 9/13/2009 7:11:25 PM
lonebuffalo34, Doesn't take a genius to figure this one out. The red flags so big I'm suprised it hasn't slap you in the face yet, lol.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 95 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/13/2009 11:27:44 AM
wild1-1, Yea, I think she told him a different story about the house before they got marry. Maybe so, but the fact is, he didn't have any ownership before they were married nor when he moved in. Why else do you think he is making noises about this at this stage of their marriage. I seriously think that he started to realize (with his mother's help) the reality of the situation...which most men don't seem to think about anyway...until it's too late. Because the way I see it, if it was an issue with him beforehand, it would have been concluded before marriage or he wouldn't have married her. I would definately move out and find cheaper accomodation. Exactly!

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 94 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/13/2009 11:16:18 AM
BigDaddyJinx, Um this is probably why he wants out. HELLO... He doesn't wanna be a mooch any more than he wants to be Mr Help Her Pay HER Mortgage. Try to keep up... If he wants out, he needs to get his own place. All I'm saying is he shouldn't stop helping to pay the mortgage if he's still living in the home.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

if a guy says this... Posted: 9/13/2009 11:04:36 AM
sephira2009, Yes he still have feelings for this woman, he still loves her, it was just an unhealthy relationship and he realizes that.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

What kinds of things make a guy bond with a woman... Posted: 9/13/2009 10:27:27 AM
TheDao, QT why do even bother she will never get it. I guess she needs to lay off the drugs or drinking. LOL, I love getting on people nerves sometimes. Truth hurts, lol.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Do You Guys Ever Get Excited about a woman and show it? Posted: 9/12/2009 4:48:50 PM
caramelsweetness2, Do You Guys Ever Get Excited about a woman and show it? Of course they do, it may be shown in different ways. However, from my experience, usually if a man has interest, he will show it by calling and wanting to spend as much time as he can with you.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/12/2009 4:33:37 PM
boinkboinkboink, QType16, paying rent to your spouse is absurd! Clearly, we are looking at things differently. I am not looking at it in a way where he is paying rent to his wife. I'm looking at it clearly as sharing a household together...they live together, therefore, they should help each other with the household expenses. Him not helping paying the mortgage is like living there for free. But we agree to disgree.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/12/2009 3:11:00 PM
boinkboinkboink, Maybe, or maybe he was deceived. We don't have all of the facts. He could have easilly discovereed after the fact that the house is in her mother's name. He may have been led to believe that he would have a personal stake in the home, only to have the OP or mother, renege. Yes, we don't know all the facts, but the simple thing is regardless, it should have been resolved before the marriage because it wasn't his to begin with. And that fact will never change. I still don't agree to the fact that he should stop making payments when he's still living in her home. When he decides to move out, that's another story.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

What kinds of things make a guy bond with a woman... Posted: 9/12/2009 2:14:25 PM
caramelsweetness2, well that's your opinion about my pics. You are a woman so I really don't give a rats azz what you think. I like my pictures and feel that my assets are part of me as the whole package. And as one of the guys mentioned -- my bed pic is not slutty it is tasteful. I am fully clothed. I tried to check your profile but you have no pics. Figures... maybe no ass-ets atol - lol Oh sweetie, I already knew you wouldn't care what I think, but if so, why get defensive about it, lol. If you believe your pictures are tasteful, then good for you...all I'm saying is men may see it in a different light. Oh, as far as my profile, I don't need to show my assets off to the whole world. If I come across a man who like my profile and would like a picture, then I choose whether I want to send one. Another thing --All men I have found don't just wanna have sex with me. A lot do, but that is not all. I have had a number of men that wanted to have a real relationship and seemed ready but I was not at all attracted to them. Everyone is not for everybody. No one ever said ALL men want to have sex with you. You're the one on here complaining and seeking other's opinions...so apparently you're having some issues in this department. And also, have you ever considered that maybe the men you are attracted to are not attracted to you or just want you for sex? Everyone is not for everybody, right? When I originally asked the question I was more or less refering to the situation of not being able to bond with a guy due to his being physically unavailable or not keeping in contact (by phone). The main question is, why would you want to bond with someone who doesn't want to put in the effort to do the same? If the man is physically unavailable or not keeping in contact with you, why even bother? I have come to the conclusion from the other posters that I will just wait until "the stars line up just right", that magical thing happens, or destiny brings us together. Great thinking! I'm tired and exhausted and am feeling really disrespected at this point --- putting myself out there for guys and giving them the benifit of the doubt so much (i.e. them not calling, not being available but once a month to see me, always wanting to know if I'm seeing someone else but they don't want me to ask them the same thing) all the BS!!! I am sick of it! getting tired of this site too If you're tired, stop for awhile. Why are you allowing yourself to feel disrespected when you know it's not worth your time. Put it like this: What would you tell a man who you wasn't attracted to that keeping calling and hoping to be in a relationship with you?

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

What kinds of things make a guy bond with a woman... Posted: 9/12/2009 11:22:53 AM
caramelsweetness2, You find online dating super hard, as I see it as easy simply because you able to weed most of bad ones out just by short chat or conversation before wasting time meeting and going on a date. As far as I can see, it's no short way to make a man bond with you, all you can do is be yourself...they either like you or they don't, or want to keep you or not. What you see if what you get with me. I don't go out of my way to impress nor get attention. Also as one poster stated about your pictures...the only thing your pictures are saying is "I wonna have fun...no real committment." You are lying in bed in one pic and another you're going out of your way to show off your thighs, legs, and feet. What do you expect men to be interesting in? Seems to draw alot of negative attention, don't you think? What's wrong with a nice conservative picture? I really hate to see women on here complaining about all men want is sex, why men contacting me with sex, but have pictures on here showing off their ass-ets.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 67 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/12/2009 7:52:47 AM
boinkboinkboink, Yes, but if they are living together only as "roommates" then of course he SHOULD consider divorce. His wife has hobbled him, and denied him the ability to invest in house that he wants to own with an equal share. I agree he should consider a divorce and get his own place, however I seriously doubt he got into this situation without knowing he didn't have ownership of the house. The OP clearly stated it was her house before they got married, so what I don't understand is how can you move in with someone knowing your name is not on the lease/house, get married, and not get it changed BEFORE marriage. If he knew he wanted his equal share in the house he should have discussed this with the SO and came to a conclusion before getting married. There is no way I believe the OP and her mother is denying him of anything...if so, he shouldn't or wouldn't have married her in the first place. He knew the house wasn't his point blank. In my opinion, it's too late to all of a sudden realize something you should have from the beginning....nor is it fair to suddenly stop assisting with the mortgage payment...when he is still living in the house.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Strong opinions on pot smoking here and abouts; why? Posted: 9/12/2009 6:35:59 AM
damassteel, It stinks and simply don't want anyone around me who feels they need to escape from reality by smoking it. Don't like the blood shot eyes nor the way one acts. And it's no worse than being addicted to any other drug...because it's just the same, for person who wants to escape reality or run away from their problems. I love the company of people who can have an intelligent conversation without being high/stoned.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/12/2009 5:41:50 AM
wild1-1, You and your mom can pay your house bills. Its different if the house was in your name and when you marry him then he is responsible for the house payment too. I disagree. He's living there isn't he? Therefore, he should be responsible to help pay the mortgage. I'm pretty sure he knew the house was in her mother's name before he married her. Since it seems like they are living as roommates anyway, isn't that part of the roommate's duty...to pay his share of rent. I don't know too many people who has a roof over their heads, rent-free.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Married. So Why Is My Home Not His Home? Posted: 9/12/2009 5:31:20 AM
looking4my1love, We are married and live together: I thought they were OUR bills??? They are. Little history here on the house. The house loan is in my mom's name, but it is by no means HER house. To me the name on the loan doesn't matter unless there is a default. Technically, you're wrong. It is your mother's house...you and your husband are basically paying rent until it's paid for...so I can see where he's coming from. However, that should have been something both of you had discussed and concluded wayyy before you got married. I believed, especially after we married, that he was to take what I had for his own and I for his. Does it not work that way anymore? Was that only what happened in my parents and grandparents' days? Apparently not in your relationship, but it does work. It all depends on each person's beliefs and values. You should have made sure both of you were on the same page before you chose to get married. I would never marry anyone who didn't believe in partnership, because that is what marriage is. I never understood the fact of being married and living like roommates...nor being in a committed relationship and living together....YOU ARE NOT ROOMMATES!! There is no difference in the two except a stupid piece of paper. You are still living together and sharing a household. Also, why is he thinking about IF we divorce, he would be left with nothing? Is it customary to think when you are married what would happen IF we divorce and base your next steps in the relationship on that? Considering the way your marriage is going, I don't blame him. And I don't see any harm thinking about what would have happen if a divorce comes into play. I'm sorry, but I would want to look out for my well being. I want to be able to leave out with what I came in with...at the least. So overall, I can understand your husband's concerns, but at the same time, you both are married so that shouldn't stop him assisting to pay the mortgage when he's living there as well as you.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

too much in debt? Posted: 9/11/2009 5:51:00 PM
gulpgulp, From your original post I'm going to assume the "maybe 20 -30 thousand dollars" debt is not really good debt, considering the fact you're asking for opinions about whether to marry or not. So I'm pretty sure there are some credit card and loans involved. My opinion, I would not marry a person who had that type of debt (or more) UNLESS it's a mortgage. That is wayyy too much...I can understand 10-15 thousand.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

contacting the ex. Posted: 9/9/2009 1:37:06 PM
kasia kisses, U want him back.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

This was harsh. Posted: 9/9/2009 4:53:18 AM
JessieLessie, Could it be that maybe he was telling the truth. Let's face it, guys will sleep with just about any woman...doesn't matter how she looks or whether he likes her or not. What I conclude from his words is that he's not attracted to you, but still want you around for some easy sex, if needed. I don't know any guy that would seriously stop in the middle of sex unless it was something that's a serious turn-off...(other than ejaculating). As one stated, maybe it was a foul smell or something...not really sure, however, I do suggest you take a long look at yourself if this is happening 99% of the time. I can understand once or twice, but more than that and you're only 19. Something is not quite right.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Guilt from the past Posted: 9/7/2009 8:58:42 AM
lkm370, I agree with some of the other posters. She was basically opening up to you...you either accept it or you don't. However, you were the one dishonest....didn't care about her past, huh, lol....yeah right. The only reason you say you didn't care is because you didn't know...as the saying goes....what we don't know won't hurt us, right? I always say....what we know, can save our asses.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Missing Human Touch Posted: 9/6/2009 6:36:34 PM
Johannaabbess, When we crave touching so deeply, does that need cause us to make poor choices in dating, accepting dates with people who aren't a good match, we move too quickly to physical intimacy, and we make decisions that we regret later? What has your experience been? Yes, I do agree with this. While I enjoy being single, I can say that human touch and physical intimacy is the hardest for me. Sometimes I get really lonely and want to be kiss, touched, etc...but don't have that one steady partner to do these things with...so yes, in the past, it had drove me to make some poor choices I later regreted. Now, I try not to make those same poor choices.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Broken Trust ? Posted: 9/2/2009 4:12:17 AM
blue on bluez, Not sure why you even want this man, but to answer your questions: Yes it was bad and wrong for you to go behind his back and erase his tape recorder...regardless of how much you were tired of hearing it. To him it seems to be an unforgivable thing...he obivously had it for a reason. Let him go and move on.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Single Moms in this economy? How are you doing it? Tips to share? Posted: 8/29/2009 12:24:49 PM
FlameNFire, I know there are moms out thee with several kids making minimum wage....How are they doing it??? I really like "luvs2bme" answer..."You just do. You adjust." That is exactly what I do. I will tell anyone in a minute, when things get really tough for me, the first thing to go is getting my hair done (I usually get my hair done about 2 twice a month.) After that, it usually the cable or the phone. But what mainly keeps me afloat is that I always try to save money...I don't care if it's not be a $100.00. I live in a very small town, so I never have a good paying job, I've always made a budget sheet and stuck to it.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Do women like single dads? Posted: 8/29/2009 12:14:31 PM
traceymd, My problem is my age. Men my age without kids want to have their own, so they are dating women 10 years younger. I agree. Most of the guys I meet don't have any children and do usually want to have them in the future. That was my personally issue with my ex, didn't have any and wanted one in the future, but I know I didn't want anymore and couldn't have anymore, so I guess I sort of sabotage the relationship in my own head...by looking too far in the future. Oh well.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Do women like single dads? Posted: 8/29/2009 12:08:07 PM
lifeisway2short, I can only speak for myself, but it's something about a man who has his own kids...this is basically from a far away point of view, until I get a chance to know more about him and how he treats his kids. But I have no problems dating one simply because he knows and understands certain things that childless men don't. A major turn off though, is a man who has alot of kids by different women and have the "baby momma" drama.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying! Posted: 8/29/2009 11:55:49 AM
1UniquePerson, I usually get hit on by guys that I'm either not really attracted to, or just not my type. Not that I'm really looking for a boyfriend or anything but it would be nice to find a guy that approaches me that I like for once. I'm not superficial at all. I could care less about getting the hottest guy. It would just be nice to attract a man that I find attractive,appealing and we both vibe. I agree. Seems like that guys that are interested in me are usually the chubby ones. Not into chubby men, however in your case I advise you to contact men that you find to be interesting or that you are attractive too. You don't always have to let the man make the first move.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

So....what if dating is just not for you? Posted: 8/29/2009 11:50:36 AM
Ravager, Don't know if dating isn't for me, but I sure get tired of it. Tired of starting over and going through that "get to know you" stage. I'm like you, really not looking for a date, but more so a good friend. Someone to spend some time with....sometimes. The hardest part is the intimacy. Other than that, I straight.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

What made you love them? What made it go down hill? Posted: 8/26/2009 10:58:56 AM
landra2, What made you love them? who I thought they were What made it go down hill? who they really were I love this, soooo true! Wish I would have thought of it first, lol.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

What made you love them? What made it go down hill? Posted: 8/26/2009 10:55:38 AM
ruby darling, What made you love them? What made it go down hill? My last relationship, loved him because he treated me good, very generous and kind hearted, always was there for me. Went down hill when he started lying (or should I say when I started catching him in lies.)

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Problems in the bedroom :( Posted: 8/26/2009 10:43:47 AM
southernalbertabelle, This is a very touchy subject no matter how you put it. Just be honest and nice with it. Tell him what you would like and show him. I assume since you all have great communication, it shouldn't be such a problem.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Is having a car really THAT incredibly important? Posted: 8/26/2009 5:48:08 AM
I'll actually clarify/correct what I said... Just about all guys who don't have a car (minus being young living in downtown of huge city), are going to be looked at -by girls- as being a loser, whether he is or the off chance he's not. They aren't obligated to take the time to get to know him to find out the scoop. If he lives in a big city and is young (under 25 or 30?), it'll be acceptable. You are absolutely correct! That is exactly the way I see it. When I was younger (23 to 28) I would give them a chance because I knew that we all had to start somewhere...but at 30, no way, I'm too grown for that stuff. It doesn't make any sense to me for a man 30 plus to not have their own vehicle. I will not take the time to get to know them because it's a waste of my time...and I know by experience. I have my own, so why not have yours? This is not party time, you are not 17 to 27.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Is having a car really THAT incredibly important? Posted: 8/26/2009 5:28:43 AM
Soulconstruct, I'm glad I saw this thread because I was going to post about it. First, to answer your question as to whether a car is really important...I will say that it really depends on where you live, if it's a big city where you have buses, trains, cabs, then it's not a big deal. BUT on the other hand, if you're in a small town like me per se, than it's really important. I can't tell you how many men I have came in contact with who's in their 30's plus, who do not have a car. It's not good at all simply because I know I don't want to be the one who have to go pick some "grown azz" man up. It's fine as long as you have your OWN means of transportation, but most of them are expecting for you to be their transportation. Don't think so. Just found out this morning a guy I had been talking to via phone for 5 days, don't have a car. He initated the meet and greet thing and we had plans to meet today. When it came to where we wanted to meet, he said downtown, i was cool with that, but it's the way he said it that prompted me to asked whether he had a car. He was hastitatant, but stated no. I stay in a rural area and it's take me about 40 minutes to get downtown in his area...and you seriously think I want to travel to meet someone who doesn't have their own car. The fact that this wasn't mentioned by him during our 5 day conversation frustrated me a little. Would be nice to meet someone for a change who has their own. Is that too much to ask for? As far as meeting him today, don't think so.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

So how about cheaters Posted: 8/5/2009 3:52:40 PM
eyebrowsmacgee, She has cheated and they've broken up and got back together before. Because of this I think it kind of makes her fair game. BS! Stop thinking, you know she's not fair game, if she was, she wouldn't have to cheat. I'm little afraid if the SO finds out, will tell her peace out. If not he's messed. In the event this happens I kind of don't want to be a shoulder to cry on because I don't want to maybe trick myself into thinking she is trust worthy Oh, I bet you're afraid because you know if her boyfriend end the relationship, she's going to be knocking right at your door...and you know you don't want that. It's no "kind of" about it. You know she's a cheat and a lier, so you don't have to be a genius to figure out the trustworthy part.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom? Posted: 8/5/2009 3:36:11 PM
bella2810, How far should you go? As far as you both want to. I say if you don't feel comfortable doing something then don't do it. If you lose the guy or girl in the process, then they wasn't serious about you in the first place. I come to see that most men and women are different when it comes to certain things in the bedroom. Most women have to feel comfortable with the guy to do certain (freaky) things, while most men tend to prefer women they don't care about to do certain (freaky) things and are reluctant to have a woman they truly care about or respect to do these things. I never really understood that about men, but have heard quite a few men say this.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

if u don't love me why not leave me why stay and hurt me Posted: 8/5/2009 1:29:12 PM
luv_kiss26, Everyone gave really good input and/or advice to you. The problem is you. You seem very needy and it seems as if you can't have a good time being alone or without a relationship. Going back to your title at hand, "If u don't love me why not leave me why stay and hurt me"...how about If i don't like the way I'm being treated, why not I leave, why stay and continue to hurt MYSELF?" Think about that.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

He's a cheater! Posted: 8/4/2009 5:18:31 AM
wazhiz, The problem is not the SO, it's her. Why in the hell would anyone still want to be with someone who has straighout said, they would never marry you and you are not the one. It's clear that this dude wants his ex. And to answer you question about things working out with a cheating SO, no, it would never work out, for obvious reasons.

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

men looking to date someone with money Posted: 8/1/2009 5:58:13 AM
letstelltruth, With a screen name like "letstelltruth", lol, you should be ashame of yourself. Why in the world would you suggest this guy to someone else and you knew the type of person he was. If this woman was a friend of yours, that was a very cruel thing for you to do. And secondly, I really don't see what the big deal is about men wanting to date women who has money or is financial secure when women (generally speaking) do it all the time. If he let it be known: whether he straight up tells you or shows you, you still have the choice to continue things with that person or not. Why let it get to the point of him using you?

QTpye16

Joined: 6/29/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Need advice on moving out / ending relationship Posted: 7/27/2009 5:27:16 PM
IsabelK, I don't rely on his income. I am currently a full-time graduate student ... and I hold my own in the relationship. This is un-freakin'-believable! If you hold your own in the relationship (as you stated) why is it soo hard for you leave it. You meant to tell me you have wasted 5 plus years in a relationship you're not happy in and now you're still holding on because of money. Lady please! There are plenty of people out here who haven't grew up no where near middle class who wouldn't allow themselves to stay in a relationship due to lack of money. If you're that independent, get off you a** and get your own place and drop the relationship. And you say you don't have low self esteem, go figure!

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