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spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 195 (view)

A question for you serious-minded men... Posted: 10/17/2009 9:08:28 PM
Personally, I've always been attracted with women that are intelligent. My wife had a masters degree. A lot depends on the nature and character of the people in any relationship. So many people have poor character or down right evil natures, it's very difficult to find someone that is even honest, let alone a good match. Sadly. Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

What to do when you meet an amazing man that is commitment phobic! Posted: 10/9/2009 11:43:19 PM
My guess is that if he is unable (or unwilling) to make a commitment, then it follows that he is probably not the perfect fellow that you are romantically building up in your mind. You want him to be, but he just isn't and you are not willing to let go of that fantasy. He just "isn't" the one. Sorry......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 169 (view)

What do you think about people who have psychics' readings? Posted: 10/9/2009 11:37:40 PM
Personally, I think that people that do this fall into one or more of three basic categories. 1) People that are suffering significantly at the loss of a loved one. 2) People that are just having fun with the idea. Entertainment. 3) Stupid people. Sometimes people can be looking for stupid entertainment and look to others that tend to be circus roustabout types. In my humble opinion, psychics are crooks that feed on the suffering of others.

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

the man I am dating just lost his son, how can I help? Posted: 8/16/2009 7:20:24 PM
I'm very sorry to hear about his loss. And by extension, your loss. I've buried two of my children and my dear wife. The thing about this is that while it's true that relationships survive this kind of tragedy, they do not necessarily survive unchanged. Guilt is a powerful emotion. He will probably have traces of his sense of guilt the rest of his life. That's something you will both have to understand and live with. Hopefully, he will learn that there are two kinds of guilt. Meaningful guilt, where one realizes they are responsible for something and sincerely accept that responsibility and work to do whatever can be done to restore what was lost. Then there is irrational guilt. Where someone feel guilt for something they are not responsible for. That is probably the most terrible kind of guilt. It gets under the skin and burrows in like a cancer. For this kind of guilt, great patience on your part will be essential. Your friend may eventually need some kind of professional help to get past this misery and be able to live his life, work, support himself and others, etc. Patience on your part is essential if you are interested in staying with this fellow. I guess, what I would want is someone that lets me know that she wants to be with me even though I'm having difficulty. Even if you don't get to spend time with him, let him know you are thinking about him and want to be with him. Your caring for him will do a great deal to help him begin to rebuilt his sense of value. Extreme guilt destroys this sense of value, and when it reaches zero it can have terrible consequences. I hope this helps..........well, it's what I think anyway.........

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 162 (view)

breaking news!!....michael jackson haas died! Posted: 6/27/2009 9:31:42 AM
The thing that comes to mind is...... Gee, the world just got a little safer for little boys everywhere......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

persian men Posted: 6/27/2009 8:05:12 AM
I suspect this is just a stereotype for men that will lose interest once they achieve their goal. For some men, it's not in the having as much as it's in the Getting. They love the hunt, but once they have their "trophy" they lose interest and go looking for something else. Sadly, it has more to do with a certain type of man than it does with an ethnic group. The key is to remember that someone from another land isn't necessarily any different than someone that you might meet from your own country. Or part of your country. Just because their speech is laced with what you perceive as romantic or exotic sound qualities, doesn't mean they are particularly any better. I can't tell you how much something that "sounded cool" at one time "just bugged me" later. The novelty wears off pretty quickly. Well, that's what I think, anyway.......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Sex and Candy Posted: 6/27/2009 7:55:09 AM
This reminds me of the 2nd date I had with the woman that became the love of my life. We were walking into a restaurant from a parking area a little ways away and she said, "I don't know why you want to date me, we can't get married?". And my response was, "I just wanted to have dinner with you!"..... It helped put things into perspective. She had been raised with the idea that you don't waste someones time and money by dating them when "logically" there was no future. The reality is that you don't know what the future really has in store. In the end we married and loved each other as best we could. She died 6 years ago now and I'll miss her all my life. But I would not give up a second of those memories for anything. Even knowing how they ended up. Give yourself a chance to have an adventure. Maybe things will work out very differently than you think they will right now. But at least you will have time together that is loving and precious regardless of what the future brings. Thinking about it too much just causes you to waste and not appreciate what you have today. Well, that's what I think, anyway ......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Plastic surgery turn off or don't care? Posted: 6/7/2009 8:01:47 PM
The important thing to remember is that a woman's body is her own and it's not unusual for someone to want to "fix" things that they find distracting or embarrassing. A classic example is braces to "fix" someones teeth. Another is the need to "fix" someones nose. I try to always remember the look on my sweet little nieces face after she got her "roman nose" fixed. And the confidence it gave her to finally not have to worry about that any longer. I've also seen what it is like for a woman that has had a mastectomy and the difficulties with her own identity and her desire to get reconstructive surgery. It seems to me that this is an intensely personally decision and someone should be supported, not accused of something. Well, that's what I think, anyway.....

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

registered sex offenders Posted: 6/6/2009 11:33:09 PM
Anyone on a sex offenders registry is not acceptable for PoF or to have any relationship with anyone. The PoF administrator should be notified and the person should be deleted ASAP........ If the person ever resolves the reason they are on the registry and is removed then it's another matter. But as long as they are actively on the registry, they shouldn't be in any kind of relationship. Well, that's what I think anyway...

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Trying to recreate your first love? Posted: 6/3/2009 8:44:11 PM
Personally, I don't think it's possible or honest to try and re-create a past love. If two people are willing to love each other unconditionally, and respect and care for each other, then maybe those two people will be blessed with "another great love" in their lives. I suppose that's the real hope at our age. That the best years of our lives may have been lived so far, but maybe, there are more "best years" yet to come. Even if it turns out to be with a different spouse than we had the first time around. Hope springs eternal. Trying to be patient and unwilling to be abused by some of the knuckleheads that people meet from time to time, is the way to go. And remember, "....it's a shame to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along." It's a weird song, but it really is the way it is. Be patient, the right one might be just around the corner....... Well, that's what I think anyway.....

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Oral or Intercourse? Posted: 5/24/2009 10:15:13 AM
If two people are having an intimate and loving relationship, one would suppose that there will always be pros and cons that change over time. If it's a healthy relationship, then the two people would make adjustments as necessary to help each other feel validated and accepted as necessary. On the other hand, if it's just a "user's relationship" then I imagine one or the other would bolt and go looking for what they perceive as "greener pastures". Anyone that has been to a place like a cancer hospital and seen the patients that had "spouses or significant other's" that bolted on them the minute that the big C raised it's ugly head will remember that vision of misery and sadness that those patients were experiencing. That's the whole problem with "casual" relationships. If you don't really care for someone then let them go so they can find someone that does truly care for them. Stop wasting their time. Well, that's what I think anyway.......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 217 (view)

Cum placement Posted: 5/24/2009 10:05:22 AM
The Subject Heading for this thread looks like it HAD to come from a Marketing Professional! :-) The odd thing about this whole thread, is the number of women that are concerned about some "placement" that is "demeaning" in some way. Why would anyone be having an intimate relationship with someone that would be demeaning to the other person. It seems that the perception of some activity being demeaning is largely a perception issue. If there is demeaning activity in the relationship, why would a woman want to remain in the relationship at all..... Intimate relationships between two loving people shouldn't be taken too seriously or it will just lead to bad feelings and embarrassment. It's a time for two loving people to learn to enjoy each other, not to abuse each other. Well, that's what I think anyway......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Can we talk about relationships without sex? I'm not talking ''a little'' sex I mean none. Possible? Posted: 5/14/2009 5:38:32 PM
Sure! People have non-sexual relationships all the time. Some are friends, workmates, people you just meet and have some kind of relationship with that is not intimate. Some friends know each other extremely well, but does not mean there is a sexual or even intimate aspect to it. I suppose it just means the people involved are looking for friendship or some other kind of relationship. That's all. Don't call it something that it's not.

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 187 (view)

Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring? Posted: 4/29/2009 8:21:56 PM
It's been six years for me. The gal I work with says I'll never get a date while I'm wearing it but it seems to me that it just belongs right where it is..... I imagine that if a woman is understanding that it won't matter. And if she doesn't then perhaps she is just not a good match for me anyway. I believe in falling in love again some day, if it happens to work out. But having been truly in love twice in my life, I have to understand that it's possible that it may happen again. And if it does not, then I have memories that will last the rest of my life. --- Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Hysteria - why so taboo in these days of enlightenment? Posted: 3/29/2009 1:31:39 PM
I'm not so sure this is even a taboo. The whole notion of Hysteria as a medical/psychological condition was washed out decades ago with the introduction of hand held, easily purchasable by "civilians", vibrators of all kinds and styles. The reason no one talks about hysteria anymore is because any woman that wants to have an orgasm can easily work it out for herself when in need. The only people that seem crazy are 1) people that really are crazy (bi-polar usually), and 2) people that refuse to "take care of business" when they are in need (for whatever reason, physical restrictions or religious concerns). BoB is here to stay! So I suppose we all just need to try and make it fun! Well, that's what I think anyway......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

The girl I'm seeing wants to.... Posted: 2/28/2009 2:53:47 PM
Yes you should! It looks like she is already planning on trading up anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Can a man truly love you if he wants to see you with another man? Posted: 2/18/2009 9:46:24 PM
Nope. Sorry, but he either doesn't know what love is or he just doesn't love you. Which amounts to the same thing. It's also an issue of what is known as SSA or Same Sex Attraction. Wanting to see you having sex with another man also means he wants to see another man have sex with you. I'm kind of old fashioned, but that sounds a little weird to me. I suppose it just depends on what you are willing to put up with. Is a guy that wants to share you with other guys really worth your effort? I suppose that's up to you. On the other hand you can do some "shopping around" with his "blessing" at the same time. After all, a man that encourages a woman to have sex with other men is also making it possible for her to find someone she likes better than him! Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 218 (view)

a guy who only wants oral? Posted: 2/18/2009 8:19:26 PM
Like most things, communication is the key. It would be good for you to understand exactly why this is an issue for him and communicate to him what your needs are also. If he really is just being selfish, then maybe he won't be a very good match for you. On the other hand, if his issues are ED then you might encourage him to get some assistance with that problem from his MD..... Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Dirty Talk Posted: 2/18/2009 8:16:13 PM
It seems to me that there is a "special" vocabulary that comes as part of love making between two loving and caring people. Where some things would be completely inappropriate in one circumstance, it seems the same things might just be in good fun in other circumstances. The main thing is not taking anything too seriously and certainly not personally. And just trying to have fun with communicating and loving each other. Well, that's what I think anyway.......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 143 (view)

Orgasmic breasts Posted: 2/18/2009 8:12:08 PM
I once knew one woman that said it was very close. And I knew another woman where it actually happened once. All the time...... No, never experienced that exactly. But hope springs eternal! (Well, that's what I think anyway! :-)

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Are poker-playing skills relevant to dating? Posted: 1/31/2009 8:51:42 PM
I suppose they would be. Especially if one is dishonest and constantly hiding their real selves. Seems to me that the only resource we have that cannot ever be replenished is our Time in this life. People that cause others to waste their time while one is hiding their real self is dishonest to the extreme. Why not just be yourself, then people can decide quickly if you are their kind or not. Everyone moves on and tries to find a person they want to spend time with. Lying, hiding, telling stories, and all that is just a way to be dishonest. Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 150 (view)

Wearing Lingerie for no reason but to feel great for yourself! Posted: 1/25/2009 8:39:18 PM
Good for you! That's exactly why you should wear it! (at least the first reason!) :-) Well, that's what I think, anyway! .....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 307 (view)

Polyamory Posted: 1/25/2009 7:23:54 PM
Part of any given society is the societal morays that have to do with relationships. The only place I've ever heard of Polyamory "working" is when it's part of the cultural norm. There are some tribes in China that practice it that I have heard of. In a common Western society, say in the US, it would probably be an impossible thing to maintain outside some kind of closed commune type environment where it is considered the norm. A lot of ideas don't work in isolation. Just because something works someplace in the world, doesn't mean it will work in downtown Boise. Well, that's what I think anyway.......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Wishing to Reconnect with Lovers from our Youth Posted: 1/25/2009 5:43:41 PM
This happened to me a year or so ago. Met up with a gal that I dated in High School. It's funny how we remember people as they were and the reality is that their lives have changed and experience has been built upon experience. They are not the person you once knew, and you are not the person they once knew. The sad thing is that we are often lost in memory and hope and fantasy. It's pretty hard for someone else to live up to that. Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Is it weird to compliment the guy on his size while you're having sex? Posted: 1/25/2009 4:43:01 PM
Men like to be complimented as much as women do. And I suspect that men are as concerned about your perception of their penis and hoping that you are not finding them "wanting". Men and women should be able to compliment each other on everything they can. It's part of building affection and love. People that are really quiet just wind up leaving their significant other wondering. So why now. Talk away! I'm sure he likes it! Well, that's what I think anyway.......

spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Sex Massage Posted: 1/21/2009 4:26:30 PM
If I understand you correctly, what you are saying is that he has admitted to seeing prostitutes. Essentially that is what massage parlors are (or at least the ones he has been going to that perform this "service"). The question is does he STILL see prostitutes from time to time? It's important to know if he has acquired any STDs as a result of his visits (happy endings are not the only things that go on you know.....), and has he already passed anything on to you? The other part is if he is going to stop going to these places if he is going to be in a relationship with you? It's not like you couldn't perform some of these services for him if you trust him and are in a committed relationship with him. And are willing of course, that's entirely up to you. What do you want your relationship to be with this guy, and is he willing to be in a monogamous relationship with you? Those are hard questions if you don't know the answer...... Well, that's what I think anyway........

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Is it important to classify what type of sex it was? Posted: 1/18/2009 10:42:15 AM
Wouldn't it be better to recognize that a person can have all kinds of sex with a particular person over time. It seems sad to imagine that sex with A is always one way and sex with B is always some other way. Sometimes physical affection can be like "monkey sex" and other times it's slow and other times it's "mostly for the other person". Emotions are constantly changing and it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity of sharing affection just because it's not what you think it should be based on a narrow set of criteria. Well, that's what I think, anyway....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

it is okay to hookup with your ex for sex? Posted: 1/18/2009 10:38:25 AM
I can't imagine why you would want to. That's why you are an "ex". Even if it feels safe, who knows where the other person has been. And in today's world that can kill you, if not just give you a life long irritation! Well, that's what I think, anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

definitions of cheating Posted: 1/17/2009 5:30:29 PM
There is such a thing as a "Deal Breaker". Which is to say, something you are not willing to do without when it comes to a relationship. It appears that you have a deal breaker going there. Why not put your life in order by ending the relationship you are in and allowing her to find someone more to her liking and for you to find someone more to your liking. Cheating is cheating. Excuses are excuses. If you bring home herpes and then give it to your wife, how is that her fault? No one should be required to do something, especially sexually, that they don't want to do. Including wives. The danger you put your S.O. in by going outside the marriage is a terrible risk that you place her in without her knowledge. Not to mention hurt feelings, broken promises, etc. Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

When should a woman tell her potential lover of her fetish? Posted: 1/17/2009 4:56:19 PM
Honest communication is key to any relationship. If this activity is a "deal breaker" for you, then you should be able to make sure that any potential significant other is aware of it before the relationship gets too far along. I would think that it would be important prior to your first intimate sexual experience. That's a pretty good way to indicate, in my mind at least, that you must really like each other by then..... Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 866 (view)

Is oral sex cheating? Posted: 1/17/2009 12:12:18 PM
These days people have all kinds of notions about what a "relationship" is. I figure that if you can imagine catching your significant other either giving or receiving oral sex to another person, would you feel hurt? Betrayed? If the answer is "yes", then yes, it's cheating. Although I can't imagine very many people that wouldn't be. Well, that's what I think, anyway.

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Women's Sustenance and Men Done In Moments Posted: 1/17/2009 11:31:03 AM
I'm with those that recommend "Getting Yours First"! There is something that seems to happen in a man's head once he has gotten what he needs and it's like throwing a switch! So if a guy is considerate, he will work at getting you what you need and then going for the gusto! (so to speak!) That just seems courteous! :-) Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

After how many dates should one bring up the topic of anal sex? Posted: 1/17/2009 10:43:59 AM
It's been so long since I filled out the "Chemistry" questions I don't remember what is on them. Personally, I think that these kinds of questions should either be part of the Chemistry section to help make that a part of the equation, or at least there should be a part of the profile that lists the things that are "Deal Breakers". I would think that this is the kind of issue that has a strong Pro vs. Con sensibility. Either you love it or you hate it, for the most part. For many people, that things an exit, not an entrance! :-) Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Now that we're over 30, how many of us will accept someone as they are? Posted: 1/17/2009 10:28:43 AM
I can't imagine why anyone would want to date someone that they wanted to change. There are enough people in the world that if one is patient, you will find someone that already is what you are looking for. The idea of finding someone you can "fix" is nothing more than a divorce in the making, and that's really expensive and time consuming! Just imagine all the years you will never get back that was wasted trying to change someone into someone that they didn't want to be in the first place! :-) Well, that's what I think anyway!

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

men asking about your fantasies Posted: 1/17/2009 10:19:15 AM
Sometimes I'm afraid that people are going to think I'm naive or something!! But this question just seem so obvious to me...... If two people are in a committed loving relationship, wouldn't they want to learn about each other? Hearing and appreciating each others fantasies is just part of discovering your significant other. It would seem weird to me if someone didn't want to know about them as it might indicate a lack of real interest in you as a whole person. I suspect that women are suspicious of fantasies because they have had sufficient experience with men that they begin to equate "Fantasy" = "Reality". That's our fault, in that we tend to spend much of our lives trying to talk our wives into things! So the suspicion is probably justified. Really....sometimes fantasies are just fantasies. I don't understand why people would want to be in a relationship with someone that didn't want to know about them. Or in one where people had to constantly try and convince the other person to have their needs met. Seems like people in a strong, loving relationship, would already want to be with someone that is enough like them that they don't need to resort to manipulation and hiding thoughts. Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 232 (view)

men disapproving of toys as addition in lovemaking Posted: 1/17/2009 9:57:47 AM
When you think about it, there are only so many things two people can do to and with and for each other over time. If a couple is in a life long, loving and tender relationship, then toys are just part of the over all tapestry of their affection for each other. Disapproving of them just restricts the adventure of loving each other and enjoying new ways to discover each other and to please each other. Sounds like crazy talk to me! :-) Well, that's what I think, anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 164 (view)

If you had the perfect partner how often would you want sex? Posted: 1/17/2009 9:49:37 AM
Ideally? Whenever and wherever we felt like it, I think. I hate to put a number on it as that sounds too much like a "goal". Then you start wondering what's wrong if you miss one...... Well, that's what I think, anyway...

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 167 (view)

Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex? Posted: 1/17/2009 9:45:23 AM
It sounds to me like there is a basic misunderstanding here. Women don't want men to lie. In fact, most women would find it refreshing if the men that were interested in them were honest. When it comes to the specific issue of "wanting sex", Women ALREADY know the answer to that! It's not necessary to bring it up. Women tend to be more cerebral and less visual and needful of stressing the obvious then men tend to be. The old adage that "men are from Mars and women are from Venus" is pretty indicative that men and women are DIFFERENT. Viva-la-Difference, as they say! So basically, if you are having difficulty finding a woman that is to your liking, you may find that it's because you are failing to read the manual first (another dominant male characteristic). If you want to find a woman that is to your liking, then learn about her and you are likely to discover that she is just what you want if you are patient and learn what she wants in a man. Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Is this normal or is my (female) friend a little out of control? Posted: 1/15/2009 4:01:49 PM
I'll probably get flamed for saying this....but.... Today's 20 for young people is yesterdays 13-16 (in emotional years). It's usually worse for boys than for girls. I doubt that talking to her (any more than talking to a "him") would do much good. The basic immaturity is so thick that just about all you can do is protect yourself from whatever she is likely to be catching from all those guys/gals and cut your losses. And if you really like her, pray (or something) that she will somehow avoid all the misery that is most likely coming her way. Man.....this subject has really bummed me out! :-( Well, that's what I think anyway.... I really hope that she will get through this period without destroying the rest of her life!

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

sex after marriage Posted: 1/11/2009 9:53:15 PM
I suspect that if you are newly divorced, you are also experiencing a lot of difficulty with self validation and other things that come pretty naturally after a divorce. Very often for both the ex's. While it's pretty common to need to find some release and a desire to add experiences to help replace the bad experiences in your marriage, you might consider giving yourself some time before getting "too" involved with just anyone or with multiple partners. The dating scene has changed dramatically in the last decade, with AIDS and other diseases that are extremely difficult or impossible to get rid of, it's just too dangerous to let yourself go too much without thinking. It looks like you have at least 2 kids. And since your soon-to-be Ex is staying at the gray-bar hotel, perhaps for an extended period of time, your kids really need you to help them get through this as well. Personally, I think you would be happier with BOB than with any stranger that may wind up making this worse for your children. Get used to being on your own and find a way to enjoy yourself without someone else. Then you will be more able to enjoy being with someone because you choose to be with someone, instead of needing someone. Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Why do guys think ..... Posted: 1/11/2009 5:51:37 PM
I suspect that a FFM fantasy is probably the most common of all male fantasies. The fact that you can be sexually attracted to either sex does not mean that you are non-monogamous. Threesomes are a potential relationship killer. If a woman has a man that wants her to have sex with other people, then you can bet that somewhere along the way she is going to start 1) scoring different people and eventually trading up, 2) will start to feel that he doesn't love her enough to just want her for himself & 3) both will start worrying about cheating behind each others backs. And of course the big 4) coming home with social diseases hitch hiking on or in body parts. Having a long term loving relationship takes a lot of work. Adding a 3rd wheel usually brings disaster in the long run. Well, that's what I suspect, anyway.

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 120 (view)

OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ??? Posted: 1/11/2009 8:19:48 AM
Personally, I think that introducing a new person to family and friends is a lot like introducing them to children. Generally, I don't introduce anyone to anyone unless it's become very serious and we are actually thinking about marriage. It seems unfair to spend a lot of time introducing different people to family and friends only to have the relationship end. Even family and friends get to "like or dislike" anyone you bring to meet them. So it seems mean to do that when you don't know if it's anticipating a long term thing. The title thing I just ignore. Just telling someone their name is usually enough. The fact that you are together, PDOAs, etc. they can label it however they want. Well, that's what I think anyway...

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Chemistry between a man and a woman...What is it? Posted: 1/7/2009 8:49:21 PM
Of course it's possible! They are called "friends"! :-) Chemistry is something you have to experience to understand. If you don't understand it, then you've just never experienced it. It's like the first time you fall in love. You spend the rest of your life knowing what it is. And realize how much you didn't know before you experienced it. Well, that's what I think anyway....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

How Would You React To Someone Spitting In Your Face UN Expectedly While You Are Having Sex? Posted: 1/7/2009 8:44:40 PM
During sex, without my knowledge? You mean I didn't know we were having sex? I'm confused...... Anyway, just kidding, I think I know what you mean! I'm going to have to get on The Google and research this!! I've NEVER heard of anything like that so I guess I would probably be surprised! I doubt I would be happy about it, but would be curious what it was all about...... Just the weirdness of it....... Well, that's what I think anyway......

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 218 (view)

Only 17% of American (USA) women like giving oral sex? Posted: 1/7/2009 7:13:43 PM
It's pretty hard to find good statistics about things like this. There is probably some psych student that is trying to get a Masters or PhD and has to come up with some stupid thing for their dissertation! It reminds me of cancer statistics. They say that someone has a certain percentage for getting different kinds of cancer. Well, if you have a 7% chance of getting some kind of cancer, it won't matter if you get it anyway! I figure if someone likes oral sex then they like oral sex. Just like everything else people can do with, for or to each other when they are in loving committed relationships. Expressing that affection should depend on the desires and needs of the partner mixed with the desire and ability of the other person. I'm pretty sure you will find people in every place on the face of the earth that like what you like and a bunch more that don't. Be thoughtful and careful, wait your turn and you will find the person of your dreams! Don't settle, that's a cop out for you and a shame for them...... Well, that's what I think anyway....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Spirituality and Sex Posted: 1/7/2009 7:07:38 PM
It seems to me that lust gets a lot of bad press. The notion that comes to mind is, "Would you want to be married to someone that doesn't lust after you?" I can't imagine a wife that doesn't want to know that her husband is thinking of her lustfully when he has to be away from her and has that twinkle in his eye when he comes home. Even if the kids are being a pain and they won't be going to bed for a while! Lust is part of a loving and long term marriage. People that insist on denouncing all lust, even in marriage between loving couples, are just nuts and simple minded.... Well, that's what I think, anyway....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

No Sex on the First Date-Dealbreaker? Posted: 1/5/2009 1:53:06 AM
I'm not sure that what you are saying really is what you mean. I've been on a number of dates that never went on to a second date simply because there was "nothing there". It had nothing to do with "getting something special" or not. The vast majority of people one meets in this kind of forum are likely to be a poor choice for any of a million reasons. Right down to "it just doesn't feel right". Whatever that means. I'm not saying that a lot of people are going to want sex right from the get-go, I'm sure they do if they can get it. But it's an unreasonable expectation to think that is going to happen regularly. And why would you want to bother with someone that has a head full of weird expectations anyway... Well, that's what I think anyway.....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 75 (view)

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Posted: 1/4/2009 8:16:16 PM
Statements like this usually only apply to a VERY narrow subject caste. Absolutes are typically used when people are unable to make an intelligent appreciation of a given set of criteria. The sad reality is that MOST managers are POOR managers. They tend to be poorly trained or lazy and as a result tend to come up with little tidbits to explain away their incompetence. Sad but true ....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

The Ol' herpe... Posted: 1/4/2009 8:01:25 PM
Herpes is a big deal! The problem with having a cheating spouse or significant other is this very kind of thing. Herpes is a forever thing, and open communication and honesty become an essential part of any intimate relationship that a sufferer will ever have. If I understand you correctly, her new husband is accepting of it's existence in their marriage. That's good! He must really love her... But there are other systemic issues that need to be addressed. For example, both of their personal doctors should be aware of the complication. Long term issues with Herpes can be addressed with good education and a good doctor to help with medication and helping to avoid unnecessary spreading. It's especially URGENT if they are planning on having children. It's a part of their lives now. I'm very happy that your friends new husband is supportive of her and understanding. That's 95% of the battle. But they still have to be careful and responsible in their future together. Well, that's what I think anyway....

Spence56

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

The Naked Man Posted: 1/4/2009 7:53:59 PM
This is the primary problem with watching anything out of Hollyweird. The reality is that Hollyweird knows nothing about reality. Or on the other hand is intentionally pushing their own bizarre version of reality so they can feel justified in their own silly behavior. Actors are puppets. Writers just put words in their mouths that they think will sell commercials. Beyond that, the media is just entertainment. And it helps to talk to other people about what they perceived they saw so that people can come to some intelligent appreciation of what reality really is. Just watching TV is a poor way to understand reality. Well, that's what I think anyway..... I suspect that reality is Laugh at You & ALSO Kick You Out! :-)

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