PLEASE HELP!!!! chat & forums.

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strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

PLEASE HELP!!!! Posted: 11/22/2009 3:20:19 PM
I agree wholeheartedly with the posters who indicate you are the one with the problem. Seems you are not happy unless you are the one in control; dictating whether or not the two of you will be together and also getting upset when he would dare spend time with his friends. Of course he is going to go running back to the arms of the ex when you are not willing to work on this relationship the two of you supposedly have! That is not to say that I agree with his behavior. It is true that some of us tend to seek comfort in the familiar ....whether they be friends or exes.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 496 (view)

New Fish, Please Read Posted: 11/20/2009 6:49:25 PM
Don't list yourself as a nonsmoker if you are actually someone who is stil smoking (cigarettes, not ego-wise, lol). Saves the nonsmoker wasting their time reading further on your profile only to discover you are trying to quit. Congratulations on the effort, but it is better to be upfront.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

What someone does that really turns you on? Posted: 11/11/2009 4:40:55 PM
Totally agree with poster in message 112. Used to love it when my (now) exbf would help me do up my helmet or jacket when we went touring. He was so gentle, so careful, making sure that I was zipped right up to my chin if it was a cool day.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Any advice would be helpful Posted: 11/10/2009 5:03:22 AM
I'm in agreement with spunkybum52 on the following point: Well you can't just go into a relationship with this 2nd friend of yours just because SHE likes you. You have to do what your heart tellls you. A relationship is a 2 way street, and if she worships you, but you do't have any feelings for her, then forget it. You won't be happy and you won't stay together. A long time ago I lived through both of these scenarios....trying to make it work with one guy when it clearly wasn't, then dating someone else who liked me more than I liked him. My feelings for the ex were still raw and very much real, and dating the second guy when I was still uncertain about the first caused the second one a lot of grief. In the end I didn't stay with either of them, taking a break from dating. That is what I should have done in the first place upon realizing that the first relationship was not heading in a direction I wanted to follow.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 98 (view)

What someone does that really turns you on? Posted: 11/9/2009 2:27:38 PM
Something about a man who knows his way around a kitchen. Doesn't matter if he's cooking, baking, or helping with the clean up, lol!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Cambridge / KW / Guelph - Friday, Nov 20 - COFFEE & BOWLING Posted: 11/9/2009 2:22:26 PM
Hi Marianne. Woodlawn Bowl is in Guelph. At the corner of Woodlawn Road and Silvercreek Parkway. If you were to go the other way on Woodlawn (Highway 7), it would take you into Kitchener, becoming Vicoria Road. Hope to see you there. Bella (Bonnie) ** See the directions in the event post. ^^^^

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 199 (view)

Health issues and finding a partner at our age Posted: 11/9/2009 10:25:43 AM
I've had open heart surgery twice in my life, with the last one being in 1991. I am on my 3rd defib implant/pacemaker. Had a blood clot in my right leg in '93, which left me with foot drop. I am upfront with the men I chat with, but only once we have reached a point of trust and a shared desire to meet. Though I may not be able to run a marathon, I can dance, go for long walks, play pool, etc., and still have the energy to make love, lol. Might have to take a break now and then, but there is still fire in this oven, tee hee. My heart rate and blood pressure are well within the normal range, and my life expectancy, if anything like my ancestors, should be around 75 to 90 years. A long way to go yet, and a lot of living to do!!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 165 (view)

Cat or Dog person Posted: 11/9/2009 10:05:28 AM
While I prefer cats, and have one, I don't mind some dogs. By the way, I may think I own my cat, but she KNOWS she owns me, lol!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What do you make of this? Is this BPD? Posted: 11/9/2009 9:48:06 AM
He is like a firecracker, waiting to go off. Doesn't seem to be into the relationship, such as it is, as you are. My suggestion, having experienced the roller coaster emotions of a man who turned out to have control issues, is to walk away from him and find someone who will consider you a priority.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

On the Cusp! Posted: 11/9/2009 6:46:31 AM
I once had an acquaintance tell me she hated me, lol. I asked her why and she said, "Because you are always so God dmned happy!" After my initial shock I told her that my happy state was much more tolerable, for me and anyone around me, than the old btchy, negative one I once had. I am enjoying my 50s almost as much as my 30s, and look forward to my 60s with much anticipation, tee hee!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Starting a family aged 50+ Posted: 11/9/2009 6:32:14 AM
Good point, cybury., re having children at 13.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Starting a family aged 50+ Posted: 11/9/2009 6:20:38 AM
I am currently chatting with, and soon meeting, a 63 year-old man who has a 7 year-old son. He and his (late) 1st wife were not able to have children. A few years after she died he met and married a much younger woman. Though they are now divorced, they are united in being the best parents they can possibly be, and the young boy knows that he is loved by both of them. I admit to having hesitated in responding to his first contact email, partly because of the distance (4 hours) and partly because of his son. I had always wanted to be a mother, but that unfortunately was not to be. At my age I had considered the possibility of being stepmom to children in their late teens or early twenties, but hadn't even thought that someone near my age would have such a young child. As I get to know this man better, through many emails and phone calls, I know that I would welcome this boy into my life, and he would know that I cared for both of them.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 196 (view)

IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN? Posted: 11/9/2009 6:09:33 AM
IRL I see nothing wrong with pursuing a man, though I feel that multiple texts and or phone calls just might be interpreted as stalking. If there has been absolutely no indication of interest on his part, I would not ask him out/chat him up. One man I dated for two years had just recently become divorced when we met. Over the course of several months we progressed from chatting on the bus to meeting for coffee or taking his dog for a walk. It was crystal clear, through his words and actions, that he was interested in me. Thought I would take it slow, let him get used to the idea of dating again. When I couldn't take it any more, I asked him out for coffee, which he immediately "upgraded" to a dinner date. It is quite possible that many more months would have passed before he asked me out, so I am glad I "took the bull by the horns" so to speak.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Do I owe an explanation? Posted: 11/9/2009 6:01:01 AM
One man I met on here, with whom there was no romantic connection but who is now a good friend, had a unique style in his first email to me. If I had not already met him at a POF function, I would have just sent him a polite note back indicating non-interest. Here is the gist of the first email, lol. The subject line was You...and the body of the email was & Me. When? I got such a kick out of it, having been exposed to his rather humorous and blunt way of speaking, that I messaged him right away. Hung out for several weeks, but no romantic sparks were there. Chemistry, yes...but we are such different people that a romantic relationship was not happening. Though I am somewhat put off by both poor grammar and multiple spelling mistakes, I do know that not everyone is a good typist. Have learned to at least exchange a few emails before deciding whether or not to meet someone.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 89 (view)

What someone does that really turns you on? Posted: 11/8/2009 4:15:50 PM
Watching a man roll around on the floor, playing with his dogs. I love watching a man do laundry. Something oh so sexy about a man leaning over a machine, lol. Oops, did I really say that, lol?! Also have a thing for men in uniform. Have dated a correctional officer, a bus driver, a custodian, and an electrician. Have never dated a military man though.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Biotch slap the bag lady!!! Posted: 11/8/2009 1:24:03 PM
Eventually there will be an uproar about the number of small yogurt containers (non-recyclable) there are in our landfills. Here in Guelph we have a 3 bag waste disposal system. Green for compostable; blue for recyclable; and clear for non-recyclable waste. These yogurt containers go into the clear bag. What's up with that?! Back on topic. I did not know that the reusable bags are made of polyester. Thanks to the poster who pointed that out.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 111 (view)

What someone does that really turn you off? Posted: 11/7/2009 7:52:10 PM
Talking while they have a mouth full of food. Looking at other women while they are with me. Spitting!! Being rude to servers, cashiers, etc. Picking their nose.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Biotch slap the bag lady!!! Posted: 11/7/2009 6:24:54 PM
I have to agree with dodger re the self check machines. The line up for those is usually longer than the line ups for the cashiered checkouts. I carry 4 reusable bags with me when shopping for groceries. I don't put vinegar, laundry soap, or any other item that has it's own handle in those bags. My gripe with the reusable bags is that, if you don't specify beforehand that you don't want it done, the bagger (if available) has a tendency to pack them so full they are rather difficult to carry. Being a busser that is not a good thing!! So, I have learned to ask for a bag, and then rebag a few items once I leave the checkout. And....some of these "baggers" need lessons on the proper way to bag. How many of us have arrived at home only to discover that our bread/buns have been squished to uselessness by eggs, bottles, whatever?!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Are professional pictures better? Posted: 11/7/2009 8:01:22 AM
My profile photo was taken by a dear friend who happens to be a professional photographer. I did my own hair, and chose to have the photo shoot outdoors at one of my favourite parks. I do not care whether the man's photo is professional or candid. There are only 3 photos that I do not like. Those with small children, or women in them, as well as those where the camera or cellphone is visible.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Dating In The Dark Posted: 11/4/2009 7:01:38 AM
sexy vixen 4u, msg #7, says something that I totally agree with: I have tried to be open to all, but have found that I shouldn't let it start if there isn't some attraction. It's easier to stop it sooner than later....and only fair. More often than not, it is something about the mans look that attracts me initially, but I have also been drawn to a man....to take a second look, due to his sense of humor, his compassionate nature, even the way he interacts with friends. If there is either nothing that appeals to me about him, or something about him that is a real turnoff for me, such as foul language or disrespect, I will pass him by.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

who gets your stuff? Posted: 11/1/2009 5:13:14 PM
My sister would get my kitty, as my kitty loves my sister almost as much as she loves me, lol. She would also get my clothes, to either keep or give to charity. My niece would receive my depression glass collection as well as my teddy bear collection. My greatniece probably wouldn't get anything, as she is soooooo spoiled, she neither needs any of my stuff, nor would she appreciate it if she did get it. My brothers, with whom I have a somewhat fractured relationship, would each receive a photo of me. My dearest friend would receive my favorite Bible, and the others would be donated to my church. Any furniture would be given away to charity, though my sister would have the option to keep my china cabinet.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 148 (view)

If s/he has never been married that's a major red flag Posted: 10/28/2009 5:13:06 PM
To slumpy. I don't think tinkerbellcgy has a problem at all! She is simply saying that a "never married" person does accumulate some baggage throughout their life. Relationship breakups, family problems, whatever...They are still baggage, just not the same pile that a formerly married person would have.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

block anyone any time Posted: 10/28/2009 5:04:44 PM
The first time I ever blocked someone was back when the IM was working on here. This guy kept IMing me and asking me to meet him, even though I had sent him a very polite rejection letter. When I would decline the IM, he would just do it again, so the only way to get rid of him was to block him. Another time a local man kept sending me cyber gifts. I had absolutely no romantic interest in him, having known his exwife and not wanting to date an ex. He was very persistent, and became rude when I refused to go out for dinner with him. Blocking was the only solution. I am thankful that he didn't know my place of employment at the time, or he would have made a scene there. Apparently he stalked another woman. Don't have any proof of that though.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Wouldn't it be great... Posted: 10/25/2009 3:01:39 PM
...if there was no prejudice of any sort. ...if there were no artichokes, parsnips, ....lol!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Have any other women experienced this? Posted: 10/25/2009 9:29:57 AM
I have been on dates where the man "regales" me with long-winded tales about his work, his children, his sexual prowess (lol), his exwife....on and on and on. Then, when he stops for a breath I try to tell him a bit about myself...and my interests. Usually the guy will show little if any interest in what I have to say then continue with his soapbox-style speech. Once I actually got up and left; another time I started chatting with an acquaintance at the next table and the guy acted all huffy because he was no longer my focus. No second dates for either of these guys. Don't get me started on the guys who treat the first meet like an interview, lol! Thankfully there are a few good men out there.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

do your breakups revolve around the same issues? Posted: 10/24/2009 4:39:02 PM
There have been many reasons why past relationships ended. Here are a few: We had very different goals and aspirations for our future. He was way too needy! He said he wanted a long term relationship, but said he wanted to see other women, as well as me, when I said I wanted us to be exclusive! He was cheaper than cheap, lol, but oh so sensual! Too bad!! I would never measure up to his mother's high expectations. I wanted children while he didn't. I was unwilling to move to another country. I was unwilling to turn my back on my beliefs.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

And what was your part in it? Posted: 10/21/2009 1:09:51 PM
In my first longterm relationship, nearly 30 years ago, I was so busy trying to improve myself, physically and otherwise, that I failed to notice when our relationship started going off track. It had become routine, almost to the point where we were two friends who happened to share a home. Next came a relationship that should never have been allowed out of the starting gate. There were so many red flags, right from the beginning, and I chose to ignore them simply because I was lonely and he offered me a "safe" haven. Wasn't long after the purchase of a home that the abuse started. So, in this case, if I had paid attention to the warning signs we would never have got together. Later on, I became clingy with the love of my life. Some of my friends tell me that I never really loved him, but rather was so infatuated with him that I clung to him in the hope that we would have the forever kind of love. Didn't work. After going back to him several times I realized that whatever we had was gone, and the remnants were not enough for healthy relationship. .....

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 136 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/17/2009 5:17:57 PM
Hey, TryAgan, a snuggle with someone special on a cold night is a very nice activity, lol!! Haven't seen the Truth in Advertising thread.Will go have a look right now.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/17/2009 3:56:18 PM
So true, brownlady1953. I, for one, am certainly not looking for an intimate encounter. Sure, intimacy within a relationship is wonderful, but to have it with a virtual stranger is just sex...without the emotional connection.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Men and Women spending time with their exclusive Friends Posted: 10/14/2009 4:41:10 PM
One of my exbfs used to like to go on motorcycle tours with his buddies. I didn't begrudge him his guy time because I had many opportunities to go for rides with him. He was also understanding if I made plans to go out for dinner or a game of pool with my girlfriends. I much prefer that sort of give and take to a relationship where one or the other party wants to spend every single free moment with their partner. Hving experienced both scenarios, I can honestly say that a little time apart can be a healthy thing. Great thread by the way, Artz.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 128 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/14/2009 8:47:03 AM
To farceur. More than once in this thread I have pointed out that this is not a gender-specific phenomenon. Nor have I ever indicated that I sit back and critique/bash any messages I do receive. There are at least two men who have posted in this thread with whom I have communicated by email, and in one case, by phone. They can tell you that I have never, ever bashed them or given them reason to believe that I do not consider them intelligent people. In my defence, at least one of the relationships I've had as a result of communicating with a man here on POF has been because I sent him a first contact email. Please continue with your welcome criticism, and witticism. I look forward to your future posts, here and elsewhere in the forums.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/14/2009 7:57:39 AM
Though I admit to having had a few laughs, and even joining on the fun. it would be nice if we got back on top....please!!!! I will continute to be nice in my rejection note...for those senders who merit a reply. That is to say, if the man's introductory note is a nasty, vulgar or repugnant one, he will not get a reply.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 108 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/13/2009 8:18:36 PM
"hard to say," lol!!! Yes I have a sense of humor, and can detect someone else's rather quickly!!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 105 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/13/2009 8:15:56 PM
In support of what cotter said about the webcam, etc., I do remember a time when the (former) IM on here did have an audio attachment. One time I was having a mostly inocent, nonsexual conversation with a man and I could suddenly hear some distant groaning and grunting. Turned out that he was pleasuring himself while chatting with me. Guess he thought that hearing it would turn me on, lol!!!! NOT!!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 96 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/13/2009 7:27:17 PM
It was never my intent for this to be a man-bashing thread! I was simply trying to suggest that a little effort goes a long way, while no effort may have negative results. My perspective is that of a seemingly (lol) mature woman who is looking to connect with a similarly mature man. I can just hear the soapboxes being dragged in front of the computers of my fellow posters as I push the post button, tee hee!!! Bring it on. I've been enjoying the discussion, interaction, humor and criticism. In the end it is all good.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/13/2009 12:29:26 PM
To browneyesboo, I realize that this is a variation of a theme that has been done before, and will be repeated through the years that internet dating is in existence. That does not change my stance that a first contact email that shows some effort and thought went into it is more likely to get my attention than one that shows no effort at all ...other than typing it out, of course!! The advent of textspeak is one of my main irritants when a man my age cannot type a sentence without the bulk of the words being in short form. My thanks to him for contacting me...for sure...and I will thank him for the letter, only because I can usually "decode" the message. The textspeak is definitely better than the ..."Hey babe, you're hot...cute.. Do you wanna f*ck?" style of note that some people send out. By the way, to the men who suggest there is no point in putting any effort into it because they won't get a reply anyway, we women often run into the same thing. This phenomenon is not gender-specific.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Camb/K-W/Guelph Coffee Night Fri. Oct. 30th Posted: 10/13/2009 12:01:26 PM
I do love country music, and dancing the night away with some great people, but I'm working that night. Hope you all have an awesome time!!! Bella

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/13/2009 2:44:01 AM
Just last night I chatted with someone I connected with on another site. He asked me all kinds of questions about myself. Definite interest there, right? Truthfully though, the answers to all his questions were right there in my profile, so I began to wonder if he was trying to catch me in a lie. He said he had only looked at my photo and the first few lines of my profile and was simply trying to get to know me a bit better. He is in the military, and his line of questioning almost had an accusatory tone, to the point where I told him it felt as if I was being interrogated rather than simply having a chat with a nice man. The door is still open for further conversation, as my interest has been tweaked (sp), and he certainly seems to want to know me.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 5:12:26 PM
I can totally relate to what you have said, dear Forumfilly, re those who seem more interested in contact with you when you are clearly seeing someone. I too found that putting not single/not looking on my profile while in a committed relationship in the very recent past brought an increase in the number of inquiries, lol!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 3:27:53 PM
To Prometheus, farceur, rearguard, Artz, Ron9, and TryAgan. My sincere apologies for my choice of phrasing in my OP. I should have said something along the lines of: It has been my experience while online that some men....not all......etc...... I fully understand why one might take offense at my wording.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 12:07:30 PM
To Prometheus, msg #18, I am very impressed when a man uses poetry that he wrote himself. Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Longfellow, for example, were all wonderful with prosse, but I am not looking to date them, lol!! Nowhere in my OP did I state that a man must be able to sweep me off my feet, lol. All I want is some effort, some originality. I try to show that when I send an introductory email, and would like the same in return. Re the one liners. I have actually known a few men whose one line notes were so cute I couldn't help but respond positively!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 11:13:45 AM
To kari135, msg #13, I am another one who is not comfortable with giving someone my messenger address without at least a few emails or phone calls first. In fact, past experience has shown that request to be a big red flag for me. To farceur: witty and well said, as usual!!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 10:31:18 AM
Oh Ron, you never cease to amaze me with your amusing, yet oh-so-true comments in these forums. Thanks for the giggle!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 10:11:11 AM
Hey, TryAgan, my friend. That's a good point re the firing off of identical emails. Thanks for your input. Bella

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

YOU NEED THERAPY! Posted: 10/12/2009 10:09:05 AM
The only therapy I have ever received is physical therapy,due to an ongoing issue with an old shoulder injury. I have occasionally been told, by my "well-meaning" long-married friends, that I might benefit from relationship therapy, lol. Why? Because they cannot relate to how content I seem to be in my single state!

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 10:01:22 AM
As soon as I clicked post, I realized that I should have been clearer on that point. There have been a few men whose interests intriqued me enough to look past the non-original prose, and I was not disappointed. One of those guys is still an email friend. What I was trying to say was that I am more interested in the man behind the words. Don't need a lot of flash to get my attention.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 9:54:32 AM
In recent months I have noticed a bit of a trend amongst the various notes I have received from men on here and one other site. Some hide behind beautiful words, whether it be poetry (not their own) or over-the-top flattery. When it comes to the ones who use poetry, I have been known to thank them for their lovely note and suggest that they would be more successful if they just said what they, themselves, found intriguing about the lady. On the other site, it is as if the guys have access to certain popular opening lines. One that I see quite often goes something like this: "Hi there. I have been looking through hundreds of profiles tonight ...this week...this month ....and yours is the only one that drew me back, time and time again, for another look." After seeing this more times than I can count, I don't even bother to send a reply. JMHO, but if you want someone to be interested in you, show them that some original thought went into your initial message.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Gving up on this whole idea.. Posted: 10/12/2009 8:44:34 AM
I look at POF, and the one other dating site I am on, as a way to connect with people I would never have never met away from here. Have become friends with some as far away as Australia, England, and all over Canada and the US. Have had several dates as well as a few shor-term relationships as a result of being on here. And, as an added plus, now have a collection of single friends close to home through my participation in the local POF coffee nights.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

What is the best way to say you arent interested? Posted: 10/12/2009 7:13:13 AM
1kindman4u says it very well in msg #9: Not all feelings are based on reality. That means don't let what HE said after YOU rejected him...cause you to FEEL anything other than the self-assurance that you made the right choice. When I first joined this site three years ago, under a different handle, I was still reeling from the break up of a long relationship. That seemed to make me even more susceptible to feelings of anger and hurt when a man would reject my attempts to show him my interest in communicating or meeting. Though I never responded to those who sent me nasty notes, I still felt as if some of what they said might be true. Now I find that I am more cognizant of red flags and, therefore, do not send first contact notes when there are any raised when looking at a man's profile.

strollinbella

Joined: 6/30/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Meeting a girl for the first time in real life... Posted: 10/10/2009 4:36:15 PM
When I go to a first meet, I always give the man a one-armed hug as a way of greeting. If the comfort level increases as the conversation flows, he will get a full hug as we say our good byes.

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