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 Author Thread: Singles events in Perth
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Singles events in Perth
Posted: 9/20/2011 2:28:44 PM
Sounds good.... I think we should have a party to celebrate .... um.... spring
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Fowlers preserving
Posted: 2/27/2011 11:33:42 AM
Hello again - I was a sent a link ( just in case there is ever someone else out there who is interested) http://www.learntocook.com.au/images/pdfs/Preserving%20with%20Fowler's%20Vacola.pdf
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Fowlers preserving
Posted: 2/27/2011 2:58:54 AM
Dear People of the Keyboards
This might be a bit old fashioned for many of you but does anyone out there preserve using a Fowlers kit? We have heaps of apple, quinces, pears etc etc and I have the kit plus jars but no idea of how hot the water should be or how long to boil.

Your wisdom & thoughts would be much appreciated
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Lets Play God !!!
Posted: 2/27/2010 2:22:57 PM
She has, however, been offered the second chance :

Addict Claire Murray offered second chance for liver transplant
http://www.news.com.au/national/addict-offered-second-chance-for-liver-transplant/story-e6frfkvr-1225834549165
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
I Spy with my hired PI, someone doing .....what exactly ???
Posted: 1/25/2010 8:54:54 PM
Devils' advocate here - my husband cheated .. a lot. I was so naive and even when we broke up I was a bit suss but nowhere as suss as I should have been. If I had had an inkling of what sort of sod that chap really was I think things could have been quite different. So a PI would have been quite helpful...
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Australia Day
Posted: 1/25/2010 8:37:31 PM
What about a day where we had to do something for Australia rather than just clean up & use the barbie? I've just spent a few days helping to rearrange my mothers house - no biggie but it might stop her from falling and therefore keep her out of the hospital system and make it better for someone else...

What do you think?
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What to do with leftover pumpkin?
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:43:03 AM
What about a cake? eg fruit cake

500g mixed dried fruit
250ml apricot nectar
1 teaspoon honey
250g mashed pumpkin
225g raising flour
1 teaspoon mixed spice
1 teaspoon carb soda
Grease a loaf tin and line with paper.
Combine fruit, nectar and honey in a saucepan take to the boil and reduce heat.
Simmer for three minutes.
Put in a bowl to cool.
Stir in mashed pumpkin, flour, spice and soda.
Bake in a moderate oven at 180c for about 1 hour.
Cool in pan.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 76 (view)
 
ex girlfriend is preggo
Posted: 11/30/2009 1:28:36 AM
Maybe time is the answer. Stay in touch. Talk a lot. Be honest with each other & your respective family/ friends and see what happens. So many of us have biological plus families . Who knows this little baby might be the best thing that ever happens to either of you. Or not.

Its not the hugest problem in the world but it could be if it bothers either of you
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What a difference a rain makes!!!
Posted: 11/28/2009 9:06:03 PM
Hi Beth - I use tank water only on my garden. And make my own the compost by the way!!
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What a difference a rain makes!!!
Posted: 11/28/2009 8:42:32 PM
I had an answer - nitrogen in the rain!!
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How do you meet new people?
Posted: 11/28/2009 7:50:13 PM
As a member from the other gender, I have noticed that the chaps who do courses that appeal to women can be mightily successful. Some examples - home handyman courses eg laying tiles or doing flyscreens on windows or public forums eg we had one recently on managing waterways . 200 women and about 30 men. Join a bike riding group and don't lead the pack - be nice to the person riding at the back. She'll treasure you always.

Dogs are great too but my dog is a meanie with other dogs so I tend not run with the other dog owners.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What a difference a rain makes!!!
Posted: 11/28/2009 7:13:12 PM
This is to all you boffins out . This is your chance to put your science to work and explain to us ordinaries why the rain makes such a difference to the garden.I put a water tank in especially so I could make a vegie garden. Its ok I guess but one rainy morning and wow!! the vegies are busting out.

So is it aeration? Ions? the pattern of raindrops?

I'd love to know
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
How do I tell him this?
Posted: 11/28/2009 6:44:59 PM
OP - I am really interested in what you decided. If you are reading this can you pop back on and tell us?

Best wishes in any case
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
11 years without a serious relationship...............
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:27:40 PM
I don't know whether you can measure your life or your emotional status so definitively. It took me about eight years to recover from my marriage bust up - sure I had dalliances but the reverberations of a marriage( busted or not) continue ... the children especially absorbed a lot of my emotional stock. Then I fell rather hard for , I guess you could say , the rebound guy. So when I met chappies, cute though they might be, there was sort of a closed door inside me. Especially closed was any sort of discussion of my past.

Suddenly - like about 2 months ago, that door opened. I don't know why or what precipitated it. Only that I feel quite different. More energy, confidence and more... sort of non blaming. Its fabulous . So I am glad I didn't rush to pair up with Mr Right Now in the decade past.

OP, have faith in yourself and best wishes
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
mate poaching (women who insist on taking another woman's man)?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:44:04 AM
About a year and a half back I took my lonely & single friend out with my new man and I. She was amazing . Like a cat chasing a bird… closer closer. Needless to say I was most put out and some harsh words were exchanged.

We had been very close – she had quite a few issues with her kids & we were friends, looked after each others houses when the owner was away etc etc

A week later she was a pair with this chap. I was quite upset.

Last weekend I met her inadvertently in a washroom. This chap left her but she had found another rich chap who might be seeing other women. ( honest – that was almost her first sentence)
I couldn’t help but wonder if she pleased that she had thrown away our friendship on this chap who hat dumped her or did she even notice what damage she caused.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:37:45 AM
What a strange, funny , sad thread.... not sure if this belongs but my then husband wanted some time apart to work out some things. Friday night I moved into a flat ( dumb as). Saturday, he goes to a party with my children. All strangers. Husband disappears. Some adults wander past - "who are those children?" one asks. "Oh that's L's new boyfriend's kids" the other says offhandedly. 10 years later we sort of recovered.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
assessing the interest in a night out in ballarat
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:47:33 PM
What's on at Ballarat ? I'm not sure of a pub crawl as I'd have to drive home ...
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Friends with Benefits
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:41:39 PM
Well said GGE. Except that I would say that the OP is in a relationship - an odd sort of hobbled together kinda deal, but nevertheless there is history and pattern. I am wondering if this woman knows she is in a f** buddy situation.

I wonder too that if the partner started a thread if it would be along the lines of " my boyfriend never goes out with me but uses me for sex."

OP do you have the courage to talk - really talk to this gal? I agree with the others that you should part but I think if you explained from you point of view that you have always seen the interaction as a f** buddy then she'd be able to move on easier. I suspect there are esteem issues or maybe a situation that allowed her to accept any relationship rather than hang out for something grand. Poor thing - but, OP, move on.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
5 min chocolate cake
Posted: 7/18/2009 12:29:44 PM
I found this ‘Healthy’ version as well -
Ingredients:
4 tablespoons whole-wheat flour
3 tablespoons sugar/substitute
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
1/4 cup egg substitute (with yolk) or 1 egg
3 tablespoons lowfat milk or fat free half and half
1 tablespoon canola oil
2 tablespoons fat free sour cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons semi sweet chocolate chips (optional)
light vanilla bean ice cream (optional)
sliced strawberries or other fresh fruit (optional)

Preparation:
1. In microwave-safe coffee mug, combine whole-wheat flour, sugar, and cocoa.
2. Pour egg substitute or egg, lowfat milk, canola oil, sour cream and vanilla into the mug with dry ingredients and mix well with fork.
3. Stir chocolate chips into the cake batter in mug, if desired. Place mug in center of microwave (preferably one that has a turn table) and cook on HIGH for 3 minutes. The cake will rise about an inch or so above the top of the mug (don't worry it won't drip down the sides of the mug).
4. Let cake cool in mug for a few minutes then turn mug upside down over a serving bowl (the cake should slide out fairly easily).
5. Cut cake in half for a smaller sized serving and top with a small scoop of light vanilla bean ice cream and sliced strawberries (or other fresh fruit).

Serving Suggestion: Serve with a scoop of light vanilla ice cream and some fresh fruit like sliced strawberries or raspberries.

Yield: Makes 2 servings

Nutritional Information:
Per serving (if two per recipe): 240 calories, 7 g protein, 35 g carbohydrate, 8 g fat, .7 g saturated fat, 2 mg cholesterol, 3 g fiber, 115 mg sodium. Calories from fats: 30 percent.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why do ex's randomly contact you ?!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:54:20 AM
Ownership. Take a deep breathe and delete. People are complex things - wonderful at times but gee - choose those times, ok. Delete is a great option.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Ever misplaced THE RING
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:30:51 PM
What a brilliant idea to melt it down. I have a few things - earrings, a hideous bracelet (I bought that) etc So to make something new ... restart built on the old
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Emotionally Unavailable = Scared
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:51:34 PM
Well, I'll put my hand up as being unavailable/cautious/ careful etc

Have bounded out of a dreadful marriage a decade ago, I have been amazed at the myriads of daft, stick in the mud, misanthropic, misogynistic, racist, cruel, careful, narcissistic , temperamental etc etc people I have run up against.

Not just chaps- I 've had women friends make moves on men I was seeing or dump me when we were on a night out when some chap caught their eye. Its not to say that these people don't have other qualities - they do and can be charming and delightful company... but my rule is to proceed with caution ... to weigh up the qualities and accept or reject.

I'm done with heartache... it's painful and debilitating and for no benefit. And if i am judged as emotionally unavailable etc, well so be it!!
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
really smiled
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:27:52 PM
Does this count?

There’s a thread in relationships – “A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points” http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12635680.aspx (Ii hope that's right)

I nearly fell off my chair
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
A Guide To Relationship Brownie Points
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:23:04 PM
Oh this made me laugh. My life is in the poo right now and laughing is the furthermost from my mind - so thankyou OP. Yes the poor cat-
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 2:56:39 PM
Single here too Although I have had several long term relationships, I don’t think they challenge the essential ‘single belief’ inside me. What has struck me however, on reflection, is that the quality of the singleness varies. At first I was just angry.. trying to find my way in the world after the marriage train wreck. Then doing the raising of adolescents alone – no time for anger there. Then the empty nest ( although my son came back – sigh). The last couple of years have been sort of lost , wandering and trying to find a path again.

I’ve built a stack of assets - don’t panic, don’t take the slaps from the universes e as a personal rejection, don’t compare yourself to others …. 3 am wakey times are a good time to plan the vegetable garden or clean the linen cupboard.

Now another phase is coming. I crashed my car a few weeks back and as I sailed towards the barrier , the value of life, of living struck me with a visceral intensity. All those things – autonomy, breathing, feeling the sunlight on your skin, a loved one laughing….all zoomed up in my mind and I suddenly knew myself as the human being that I am. I’d like to translate that feeling ( and the gratitude to the fates for not killing me , although my car was a wipeout) into doing something for the world so I am going back to nursing which I left 15 years ago.

And just for once, I am intensely grateful that I don’t have someone there to complicate matters .

Lucky me!!
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Lady bits.
Posted: 6/18/2009 2:12:14 PM
And the cost ...

From a surgical site:

What Are The Typical Costs Associated With Labiaplasty?
The costs for labia rejuvenation can cost anywhere from $3,500 to $8,000. Fees within various regions may vary depending on whether the doctor’s practice is in an urban, suburban or rural area. This fee only covers the physician’s costs, and does not include other miscellaneous costs. A comprehensive cost figure may be obtained while consulting with the physician. Make sure this figure includes any and all associated costs.

Unfortunately, most medical insurance providers do not cover cosmetic surgery procedures. However, most surgeons do offer multiple financing options. CosmeticSurgery.com provides information on various ways patients can fit labia rejuvenation into their budget. etc etc
-------------------------------------------
As a matter of comparison I am swapping over my cars for about $9,000 ... a computer about $1000 ... a holiday in Greece about $10,000 etc
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How would you take it if his mom said this......
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:46:49 AM
Easy .

With a light heated laugh say " How lovely !" slide hand over his, pat arm etc to demonstrate ownership . Look directly at mother " I love meeting jimmy's friends."

perhaps add .. does she ski/rock climb etc or something obscure to show off your talent.

or I'll just check my diary - we are so busy at the moment .**Sigh ** but there is always place for a home cooked meal.

the laugh works wonders
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What should I do bout him
Posted: 6/16/2009 1:39:46 AM
Dear OP -I love your hair!! it rally suits you.

Here is a plan.

Don't panic. Life has some hair raising turns. ( eg Who knows if some gorgeous hunk is n't coming your way now?)

Work out your finances.... eg if you have time on your hands why not study?

Tell a friend of your concerns so you are not on your own.

Living with someone is hard Without love and feeling loved is nigh impossible... often souring into resentment, infidelity, ugliness.... best wishes
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Vegetables, what do you do?
Posted: 6/12/2009 1:10:38 AM
Sesame seeds on the roast vegies .... mm mmmmmm
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
My boyfriend always needs to diss me
Posted: 6/9/2009 5:27:18 AM
Dear OP - the trouble with these sorts of relationships is that you do start to distrust yourself. Like the others have said it can make you remarkably unhappy - long after the relationship has finished there will be reverberations of unease and questioning. Is the question for you " is he worth it?' Because if that's the question you need to evaluate it very carefully.

In my splendid long life, have known people to choose for partners absolute dog turds who amazingly become decent people but that is rare ... and I am always deeply suspicious about the spots on such leopards . I think more likely that what this chap offers now, he will continue with... and probably get worse until he is sneering at every more you make, every word .... in private, in front of your children your family, friends, work colleagues, shopkeepers... Etc. Think doormat, dishrag and other such objects.

If you chuck him you most likely will be lonely - more so because you have to recover from the toxicity ... but a greater quality of life awaits you and who knows, a gorgeous chappie who thinks yu are gorgeous just as you are.... best wishes, but think hard on that one
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Write your own Epitaph..what would you say?
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:53:49 AM
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Cheating mother
Posted: 5/21/2009 4:13:23 PM
Don't know how I changed the title - sorry
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Quoted...
Posted: 5/21/2009 4:12:03 PM
Finding out ‘stuff’ about family members is confronting and extremely disturbing. I am not sure that this is the place you should be seeking help. Can I suggest that you actually talk to someone – and NOW. Relationships- especially family relationships are hugely complex… Your mother is a person, a person in a relationship, a person in mid life, your mother, your siblings mother, her sibling’s sibling, a daughter etc etc You get the picture. And your role within the family is necessarily complex as well. To manage this complexity families have rules- especially those of confronting.

Now however, both you and your mother seem to have stepped outside your rules. I can’t see god happening here – I think you need to get some structure back and you certainly need to deal with the shock you have experienced. So please, talk to someone and maybe take some space away from your parents home for a while.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Too far away from everywhere
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:56:13 AM
OP I am so jealous you live in a place like that. Trade lives?
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
philanthropy, Altruism or insurance for the terminally crooked?
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:21:36 PM
Small hijack - please excuse

Philanthropy is the act of giving - money, goods, services, time and/or effort to support a socially beneficial cause with no financial or material reward to the donor. I
In a more general sense, philanthropy is thought to encompass altruism. Oh, and by the way philanthropy is a major source of income for fine arts and performing arts, religious, and humanitarian causes, as well as educational institutions . ETC

Philanthropy is a double edged sward – there’s no real pattern or logic. For example, certain cancers get heaps of donors but other diseases, just a deadly don’t. Or we give heaps of money to premmie babies but what about when those babies start getting a bit older and have health or learning issues? Or one year money – next year the interest has moved on, meaning that there is no assurance in the phanthropic world. Its all about groveling to the rich people who have the money to give away.

A fairer system to my mind is to limit ‘charity’ ( ‘charity ‘,my arse) and look to the tax system. Yes I would heavily tax the rich . yes I would invest in public housing, roads, education and health ( Not necessarily in that order) . otherwise the warnings of ‘Brave New World ‘ will be real. And noone wins.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
predict your own death...
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:09:37 PM
I am going to be shot by a jealous wife climbing out a window when I am 98.

I do hope that I have the sense to wear decent shoes,
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
letter to a celebrity
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:56:13 PM
Not a celeb but i wrote to an author once - David Ireland - because I liked his books so much. And he wrote back - in a an old man's spidery handwriting. It really surprised me that he took time to even respond.

But a celeb - Nina Simone. I would have gone to see her but I was in poor land post divorce and then she dies. damn
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Bad Karma/Jugdements
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:47:12 PM
OP: From a personal point of view, I have actually learned quite a lot from my time here. originally I was a post marriage shattered one.. fast forward through some mean thinking and some bitter postings/ exchanges into another space. When I see the sharp comments or worse, when someone pours their heart out and the next person doesn't comment or trivializes the comment in some way , it kinda jolts me. Perhaps you can identify with that?
But at the same time, again from my own experience, this behavior on the boards has allowed me to grow a skin. Not to take everything to heart. Look at the meaning of what was said and not how it was said. In fact, i wish that the internet had been around when i was in my 20's . I might not have made some of the dumb mistakes that I did.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
My x expects me to help him catch his next girlfriend?
Posted: 5/2/2009 3:32:51 PM
OP this is not a normal (ie socially or emotionally appropriate ) situation. I agree with much of what is written about but you need to seek professional advice. And quickly. You sound like a victim of abuse and if that is correct then there may need to be some unwinding before you can move on. But move on you must. There is no future with this chap.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
It's better to love and lost, then to have never loved at all
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:05:05 AM
wasn't there a film ... yes, "Endless Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" where regrets were simplify erased. A very good idea in my book.
 glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Has Busy consumed our lives?
Posted: 4/27/2009 2:33:14 AM
Fabulous thread.

Three years back I was THE Ms. Busy. … my phone and diary bulging with meetings. My high heels clattered briskly along work corridors. Once one cleaner saif to another ‘ “who is that woman? “ “Dunno “, said the second “ But she’s the fastest walker at xxxx.” . At work and home the phone rang constantly. I drove hard and fast and covered vast distances, making my phone calls as I drove. My sleep was punctured by Thing I Must Do.

Several things happened… a chronic disease, I took on an old dog who was about to die, a busted relationship and 17 avocado trees.

Reluctantly I began riding a bike for my health. It was amazing. I saw the dawn. Water birds lined along the shore line with frost under their feet.. My legs went round and round. I bought lycra and the security guard laughed so hard at work he couldn’t get words out and his face went all red.

The old dog didn’t die. A diet of egg and garlic and rice ( true) brought him back from the brink – in dog years about 85 and can run a quite few blocks – not bad eh. He sleeps with the cat and my other dog who was sent back from my mother.

The lost relationship was really really sad but the avocados are amazing. Grown from pips they all look quite different… luckily heaps of people along the street have agreed to take one and plant it in their front yard.

So I am still busy – I read, I drink a lot of tea with people, love my kids. And guess what? I do the same job but I talk with the cleaners… or anyone else. I go home on time , to ride before it gets dark and then take the dogs for a walk. I really want to fix my garden – partly for the remaining trees but also because I think some ducks might like it here..

But every now and again I wear the red stilettos and black suit, just to know that I can.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 79 (view)
 
The fears of being alone
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:10:10 AM
I would like someone to hug in the morning. Apart from that I have ambulance insurance and I’ll take my chances.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What is it like to live in cities such Adelaide, Hobart, Melbourne, Perth, Darwin, Canberra ?
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:36:45 AM
Ah the city - movies, galleries, coffee shops, stuff in shops. lack of silence, rebreathed air, the way the pavement heat pulses up after a hot day, the way you can stay inside and not even notice the day, expensive groceries , cheap takeaway. Pidgeons, sparrow, mice and rats. People. The glories of big building lit up at night and the way that you can't see the stars . Smells cars, people, body crush in the trains, hot metal ,other peoples' food, pop corn in the pictures, dog poo.

Hobart was startlingly lovely - we could see the sea and the mountain. It felt like the mountain was so close. Snow on the back steps. very social - except in winter then you stayed home or went to the pub.

Melbourne - a city of galleries and pictures and wonderful shops. Lots of people but somehow the bustle seems to be tempered by green parks and that there are galleries etc The suburbs are another story. I always lived inner city. Dinner parties that go into the night.

Sydney - if I couldn't live on the water, I wouldn't live there. A city of riches ( not necessarily yours but who cares) . Fast. Boats. Bling. Your apartment might be a wardrobe but you wear the most fantastic earrings. you meet in public - never at peoples places.

Adelaide of the wide streets and mountains . Hot and cold - you notice the elements. It paints itself as a duchess... sedate, cultured , etc but there is something about Adelaide . A gnome in the garden inventing stuff. Its a charming city , like every second person is an artist. ...

All of this and more
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Torn between gut feel and logic
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:22:14 PM
OP, what happens if you don’t pursue this chap? If , for example, you took up a course of study or a really demanding activity like competitive rock climbing……Not really being flippant as logic is hard to apply, maybe the best thing is to give yourself something to move your mind a little to get a bit of distance and perspective.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
not being honest about impotency
Posted: 4/11/2009 2:53:23 AM
As men get older and impotence is a real factor... often having little to do with desire etc but as a side effect of disease or ill health or behavioral issues. Both the fellow and the partner need to be up front about this.

A few years back I was quite fond of a chap ... after a few weeks of sleeping together I figured that I was at fault and wandered sadly off. Afterwards I met another woman - and exactly the same had happened to her.

I just wish that he'd been more honest and we could have kept a friendship at least - now i just think he is a dishonest fool.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How many will never marry again and how many change their minds?
Posted: 4/10/2009 2:19:14 AM
again and again I say that marriage is a great idea. I believe in it as a concept and it is certainly a social 'rock'. Sure, most of these on here have met up with lightweights, liars or those unable to remember their own promises but heaps do remember their promises , don't lie and do consider their arguments. .... plus a mate will keep you warm at night and make sure you eat right.

So would I marry again - like a a shot... marry, move, change my social situation.. why not??
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Too old to have another child?
Posted: 4/4/2009 12:09:38 AM
My father was 40 when I was born and 45 when the youngest of my siblings was born. He was a fabulous parent- clever, funny, caring and wise. He could make anything from go carts to trampolines but best of all he never had to raise his voice or use physical means to show us kids right from wrong. No doubt he didn't play with us like the younger parents did but we played amongst ourselves. He was not an educated man but he had a huge appreciation of education so he really gloried when his offspring graduated or got jobs that he'd never heard of.

I agree with the others in that older parents need to be careful of the impact of failing health on late life offspring but gee, the benefit of an older parent can be somewhat fabulous as well.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What do you do when the end is near.
Posted: 4/3/2009 1:20:05 AM
I would hope for rain. I would hope to see the garden, green and flourishing and wet. To really enjoy that I would have had everything tidied - like others have said. ... items allocated, letters, notes etc written, somewhere who was to have the animals in my house. To go against the grain I might not call up all and sundry and have a party. I quite like the relationships I have with those I care for .. these relationships have blossomed over time, more than I have ever hoped for or deserved. That's the person I'd like them to remember.

So with the house and life tidied up I would, ideally, simply enjoy - especially if it rained and I knew my tank was filling up.
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
In your dreams.
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:31:21 PM
Dreams - I used to dream of water a lot when the children were small.

The most powerful one was that I’d be walking slowly, holding the hands of my two little children , across a bridge. Very far below was a tiny winding river bed . We could see over the edge of the bridge and there was a sort of construction half way up the cliff – between the river and the bridge. The bridge was an arch bridge – I guess to span the two banks without having to use supports. Anyway, suddenly I become aware that the water is rising. At first I am not worried because we are a long way above it but then the water starts seeping over the roadway , up to my knees. I balance one child on each hip and look for an escape. I realize that I am about halfway across the bridge – to go on or to go back would be the same distance. Then I would wake in fright. The dream was coloured – the big blue sky was a great beginning.

As life went on, my marriage fell apart and my husband went off with someone else , having very little to do with my children or me ( until recently). Also when I when to America a few years ago I walked on a very similar bridge – including the construction – and nothing happened. So I hadn’t had the dream for a while until a few days ago when I was on my own on the bridge.

I interpreted the water to be my situation in life – the rocky marriage . Now that my husband has come back, armed with great wealth and a determination to recapture his children, I guess I am afraid that I’ll be left. When I think about it though, I never get swept over the bridge. I am frightened but very alert to my options. So in a way this is a dream to inspire me not to be complacent, whether it be the bombastic ex, or an uncomfortable work situation or simply the marching of aging…life is to be lived and it’s a grand life...

Not sure if this helps OP, but my 2 cents in any case!!
 Glossary
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Life Transitions
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:10:48 PM
To Humungo - what a great reply. Although I am a great deal older than OP, I am in a transition too. Recently I wandered into a Grad Dip of an area I was curious about - and guess what? It was fantastic. Definitely the right path for me and my personality but alas, I am in the wrong geographical place. No real choice comes easily to any of us. For me some of the factors are that I'll have to move from here and even though my work colleagues might suck, I love my little house and the routine of my life. But if I don't try for this, I will never know.

As for study itself - I would encourage anyone with some spare time on their hands to take a course. At least you will learn how to use the library - don't laugh, that's a biggie. But more that the breadth of human experience is so huge that day to day living in the present doesn't really allow the appreciation of went before. Try dabbling in history or politics... mmmm.
 
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