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L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Double Urethra Posted: 9/3/2009 6:13:32 PM
Dated someone with such... the double isn't what made the sex amazing... it was his communication skills

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Girls making the first move??? Posted: 9/3/2009 2:44:42 PM
Ok, I've been on both sides of this fence. And I choose to be pursued. Its not so much how I think/feel guys perceive it. Of course most guys prefer girls to make the first move... it requires no effort on their part. And what kind of precedent does that set? My experience has taught me that when I make the first move, the men I attract are lazy in relationships. I side with biology... sperm is cheap; eggs are not.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Do u believe in love at first sight??? Posted: 7/29/2009 10:51:43 PM
NOOOOOO! If it does happen, and lasts for a lifetime with out each person putting the other thru a bunch of bullshit, then it was just plain dumb luck.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Good books to help mend a broken heart? Posted: 7/24/2009 10:32:30 PM
"How to Fall Out of Love" by Dr. Deborah Phillips (w/Robert Judd)

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

helpful books Posted: 7/24/2009 10:30:01 PM
"How to Fall Out of Love" by Dr. Debora Phillips (w/Robert Judd)

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

get your ex back e-books Posted: 7/24/2009 10:27:04 PM
Why the hell would you want someone that doesn't want you? A relationship is only as good as the person who wants it the least. " I like that!!! Alot!!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Movie Songs/Soundtracks that most touch YOUR Heart and/or Inspire You Posted: 7/24/2009 10:23:20 PM
I cannot listen to "Wildfire" by Micheal Martin Murphy without balling. Since I was 6 yrs old.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

This movie helped- Posted: 7/24/2009 10:16:01 PM
Yes, The Holiday is a good one. Another one that helps me is "Sense and Sensibility". Also, the book, "How to Fall Out of Love" by Dr. Deborah Phillips (w/Robert Judd)

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

8 months.... Posted: 7/22/2009 4:50:49 PM
First of all you need to reset your "zero", and it sounds like your still in the process of doing that. Those damn fairy tales of our childhood gave us a really wrong expectation of relationships. Most of us women start out way way too idealistic and our "zero" guage is set so high that no fella could possibly measure up. But patiently (or not) we wait for the one who will at least measure a "10" if not more. Then we have this beautiful (or so we thought) relationship. It ends, we are faced with reality, and he actually measures up somewhere around "-9". Then with this new knowledge we continue measuring these guys it seems that the best we can find is a "-3". Better than the rest, but not what we are looking for. Its ok... keep comparing them... eventually you will see that you need to reset your "zero". Probably wont find that "10", but then you'll realize a "+4" may not be so bad either.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Starting Over Posted: 10/3/2008 11:23:56 AM
So young and so willing to just give your life up for a man you barely know. I noticed this is a sad epidemic on this site. Not just on this site... but the populace at large!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

What is the difference maker for you with profiles? Posted: 10/2/2008 10:22:01 AM
Ok, for me, it goes in this order (pretty much) #1!! PHOTOS: no, photos dont carry more weight than the profile, its just the first "obstacle" or "test". I LAUGH HYSTERICALLY at the guys who say people only respond to the good-looking photos. Physical attractiveness is soooo very very subjective. My friends and I compare, and I can tell you that there are fellas that I find totally hot and my friends just respond with a bizarre "what have you been smoking?" look. And if I bypass a profile of someone im not physically attracted to I HAVE DONE THAT PERSON A FAVOR - otherwise they would more than likely end up in a sexless relationship with me - and who wants that? So THANK ME for being so "shallow" and only responding to persons that i feel i could have a healthy sexlife with if things should go in that direction. #2 - the PROFILE: First i check if the drinking/smoking/religion are all acceptable. If some guy posts that he's Southern Baptist and goes to church 3x week... I will bypass him NO MATTER HOW HOT HE IS!! (again, doing him a favor, since I'm agnostic, so thank me!!) (see, photos do not carry more weight than the profile) If the profile is rather skinny, it doesnt give me anything to talk about to even bother sending an email. So I dont. Also, something needs to be in there that reflects his personality, whether by words OR by photos. I will also bypass any that does not reflect intelligence/maturity; whines about past relationships and how dating is unfair...lol; A HINT: many women are not pursuers... and wont contact a man first.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Chemistry/compatibility Posted: 9/26/2008 9:44:21 PM
When I think of chemistry I think of a couple I know. Watching them in action is a sight to behold. Their repartee, witty banter, debates and even fights demonstrate amazing chemistry. The way they bounce off each other, innately understand what the other wants, needs etc... that's chemistry. I would agree this. Chemistry is a fire that burns your guts and then goes up on your face and makes you blush something silly! You can't stop it, and it makes you want to run- but not really, and then you go home and you think about that person, and when you drive you can see his face on the windshield while you know he's not there. You have an ear to ear smile all day long until your face hurts. And stuff like that. It 's a sort of high, like being drunk without the booze part, and it keeps you from sleeping well at night. It's good if both parties get infected by the same bug. I would tend to call this... infatuation.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Chemistry/compatibility Posted: 9/26/2008 9:25:04 PM
When I think of chemistry I think of a couple I know. Watching them in action is a sight to behold. Their repartee, witty banter, debates and even fights demonstrate amazing chemistry. The way they bounce off each other, innately understand what the other wants, needs etc... that's chemistry. Yes, I see chemistry this way too Chemistry is a fire that burns your guts and then goes up on your face and makes you blush something silly! You can't stop it, and it makes you want to run- but not really, and then you go home and you think about that person, and when you drive you can see his face on the windshield while you know he's not there. You have an ear to ear smile all day long until your face hurts. And stuff like that. It 's a sort of high, like being drunk without the booze part, and it keeps you from sleeping well at night. It's good if both parties get infected by the same bug. I would generally refer to this as "infatuation", also an amazing feeling.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Question re Undecided/Open about having children Posted: 9/26/2008 9:09:52 PM
I have "I don't want children", and it never even occurred to me that it could be interpreted that I don't want someone else's kids around, which couldn't be further from the truth!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Friends of the opposite sex Posted: 9/8/2008 9:52:24 PM
In my rulebook, OPENNESS goes hand-in-hand with HONESTY, and it doesnt sound like she's being very OPEN, therefore I would strongly doubt her honesty in what she's telling you. If there's nothing going on, then there should be some introductions, and inclusion of YOU! Whether or not she's slept with any of them in the past is a moot point... you need to know what she's up to right NOW, while she's supposed to be dating only YOU. good luck on this one.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 388 (view)

Can women really go without sex???? Posted: 9/7/2008 10:06:10 PM
YES! we can! I went without it from 1990, until I got married in 1998. I was a single mom, in college, working, and attending a church that advocated celibacy until marriage. The first year was the toughest because I had been VERY sexually active before that. But eventually it got easier. Also, I had no relationships, nor did I date during those years. I was simply too busy and focused on kids, school, and work. I find that outside a relationship it is very easy for me to do without it. But once IN a relationship... its a need, and a regular one at that! I hold out for quality relationships, so I tend to want the person I'm with alot... and often. Hope this helps.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Is God a Good Dating Coach??? Posted: 9/4/2008 12:23:25 PM
OMG ... have I got experience on THIS ONE!!! I am a "former" christian... who even used to conduct bible studies on how to trust god for a mate. Well, the "one" that "god" chose to hook me up with ended up being a pedophile. So .. well... umm... NO, I would say unequivocally that "god", however one perceives him (and thats the key) IS NOT a good matchmaker. Better to be a good observer, understand human nature, know what you want, what you have to offer, and what you're not willing to tolerate.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

The nonsense about being positive at all cost. Posted: 9/4/2008 5:55:02 AM
They say that negatives, only appear to create closeness between a man and a woman, but in reality it kills the attraction a woman has for a man. It's not a conscious choice. I have been in relationships where negatives brought us closer. Negative circumstances can provide an opportunity to partner up, present a united front, and work together against a common "enemy". And the resulting intimacy is amazing!!! So, the man if left very much alone with his own shit! And I have also been in relationships where the guy wouldnt partner up... wouldnt try to resolve the problems... would rather just whine, ****, and wallow in it. And I'm sorry... this woman has no respect for that... and certainly leaves them to wallow alone.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

The nonsense about being positive at all cost. Posted: 9/4/2008 5:34:44 AM
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” Kenji Miyazawa (I have no idea who that is but - like the quote) OH I like that... think I'll steal it...

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Pick one: Love or respect Posted: 8/31/2008 7:54:09 AM
He said that if a relationship is to survive turbulent times, a man must feel respected by his partner..." Are you saying that women somehow don't need to feel respected as much as men? "...and a woman must feel loved by her partner. And that men don't need to feel loved as much as women? What a serious load of bull in my opinion. Sounds like one of those awful "christian" books on marriage with psychobabble that ends up killing the very thing it proposes to save. Both are important... but if I had to choose... I'd choose RESPECT! It's a wonderful foundation for love.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Playing Like Puppies... Do YOU know how to play? Posted: 8/9/2008 2:14:53 PM
Sink my teeth into my victim.... a vicious shaking of the head.... grrrr Listen for the "yelp" of submission... stop, lick, and make it all better.... no, I'm not sure I know how to do that...

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

best friends and sex Posted: 8/2/2008 3:14:19 PM
I see all these profiles that says looking for best friend. My question is this. Does sex cause the road to friendship to slow down? Well I think you run into alot of people who have had relationships that went bad and at the end realized it was primarily about the sex. Those relationships dont work as there is no foundation - no friendship - no bond. There needs to be a balance of the two. I mean, would it be easier to get to true friendship without the sex? You know, leave the sex out till after you have obtained the best friend status. No it would not. Because for some reason, once you hit the best friend status, without the sexual bond, it just becomes wierd... like sex with a sibling or cousin. Its very difficult, almost impossible to even broach the subject let alone stoke the same kind of passion and excitement that exists when youre just getting to know each other and everything is new. But if you build your friendship bond at the same time youre building your sexual bond... then you have someone who truly knows you - a solid foundation. It's all about the balance.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

I keep setting myself up to get my heart broken. Posted: 7/31/2008 8:25:11 AM
ok... here's a few things I wish other women would have told me when I was 18. -- If they're normal and healthy, and you're attractive, THEY WILL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Its not the ones that WANT sex that you really have to worry about... its the ones that DONT. -- That being said, YOU are still the "gatekeeper". Sperm is cheap, eggs are not, and biology has made us women very instinctively protective over who get to go in there... so listen to your instnincts AND you brain. Make him prove that he's worthy for all that. -- dont let yourself get connected so quickly. No matter what a guy says, whether you have sex or not, those first 3-6 months are a "getting-to-know-you" phase and NOTHING is written in stone... and honestly- I consider the first year as that phase, but i am older. -- also, keep in mind that you state that you will be moving soon in your profile. Many really nice guys may not want to get serious for that reason... but you are attractive, so they will still want to have sex with you. -- and also, no matter what a guy says... LISTEN TO HIS ACTIONS! -- ask him LOTS of questions... if he gets pissy about it... just say NEXT And YES there are guys who will be right for you. But you are young, and there is time. And its ok to have a Mr. Right Now, while you are waiting for Mr. Right Forever. Just keep things in perspective.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 178 (view)

Why would anyone want to date you? Posted: 7/25/2008 9:15:31 AM
Well I could never presume to know why any man WOULD want to date me. But I can give a few reasons why they HAVE dated me (from the fellas themselves) - I'm attractive - I'm active, and have a high energy level - I can carry on intelligent conversation - I have a good sense of humor - I'm a total nut, and a very good sport. - I am very positive, open minded, and easy to talk to

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

The Fragile Nature of a Woman's Interest Posted: 7/24/2008 11:25:30 AM
Ok, sorry... I didnt realize OP was wanting OUR list: What makes me lose interest INSTANTLY: - lack of intelligence - lack of manners - assuming we are in a relationship after only a few dates - socially awkward (not the normal "nerves"- thats actually cute) - any kind of wuss behavior (whining, complaining, child-like behavior) - just generally noticing that we are not on the same page - there is just no physical/sexual attraction - no mental/emotional connection - asking me what I think about you on the first meet - how the hell am I supposed to know that? (I always interpret that as "how is my BS working on you?) IMO most women lose interest in a man if they realise that there is no "long term" potential (for any reason(s)). Most are "long term investors". Riick, you hit the nail on the head. It's biology... sperm is cheap, eggs are not. Even in my current dating funk... while i don't want to be in a relationship right now... I really don't want to waste too much time with those for whom the "potential" is not there. The time spent with them just simply isn't that enjoyable.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

The Fragile Nature of a Woman's Interest Posted: 7/24/2008 8:30:12 AM
Fragile nature of a man's interest: - when you don't have sex soon enough (however soon that may be for an individual) - when you mention "getting serious" - when you have sex too soon - if your sex drive is either too high... or too low (depending on what day he catches you on) - if you miss a day shaving/trimming the pits or ms. virginia - if you'd like a night out (if he's a homebody) - if you'd like a night in (if he's uber-social or active) - if you dont want him to buy you a cellphone and add you to his plan (after only a couple weeks of dating) [yes this did happen to me] - he prefers blondes, but was just being nice and giving you a chance - you remind him of an ex - you ask for a favor - you ask him what he does for a living (for some this deems you a golddigger) oohhh... i could go on... but i've just exhausted myself

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Sexual Desire Lost.. Posted: 7/23/2008 10:11:42 PM
Is this a loss of desire for sex... or loss of the need for an orgasm. There's a big difference! Sometimes, I go thru phases where I dont need the orgasm... just the closeness, the touch, the bonding. Just easy and relaxing. But it took me a while to realize that because we are so engrained to think each session must end with the big "O". And its tough for guys too, because so much of their turn-on is watching us get off. Could you handle the sex if there were no pressure to orgasm?

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 105 (view)

gals....what does take things slow really mean? Posted: 7/22/2008 10:28:54 PM
If she had sex with you once and then she decided that "She want to take things slow" by having sex with you, she already bypassed the slow issue. Ummmm... NO, sex is not the only slow issue. Dating exclusively is a big one! So is meeting the family... moving in together (some people do it that quickly; I think its insane), etc. Anything that leads to a further level of commitment. And all those other things I just listed are actually MORE IMPORTANT issues than the sex... the sex is really no biggie!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Wow!! Can you believe this one? What should I do? Posted: 7/22/2008 9:47:15 PM
There is a website: www.dontdatehimgirl.com

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 167 (view)

Do you still think about your ex? Posted: 7/22/2008 1:24:16 PM
Think about the ex? Hell I still have to deal with him on a regular basis because we have a child together... Regret the split - HELL NO! Regret the splits with past boyfriends? also a resounding NO. Yes I am way too damn picky... wont deal with liars, cheats, addicts, slobs, or the financially or familial irresponsible. So that rather narrows the playing field a bit. Not to mention that the "good things" about all my ex's really raise the bar as to what I expect... as I now know those behaviors are possible in a male. You see... I might occasionally date Mr. Stinky, Touchy, or Snaggle tooth... but mostly I date Mr. Really-great-guy-who-just-wasn't-quite-right, and am perfectly ok with sending him home when done... and retreating to my little undisturbed nest, made perfectly for me.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Up Tempo...What's the best date you've ever been on that didn't result in sex? Posted: 7/22/2008 8:17:03 AM
We finally had a day where neither of us had our kids (dont remember how that happened!) so we decided to walk around a town here that is big tourist area. Maybe our 3rd or 4th date? It was evening and all we did was walk and talk about everything under the sun. We stopped in at a few places and window-shopped. After we decided to turn back and head back to his vehicle, it started raining. Not a big heavy rain, but just a light drizzle. You would think that we would rush to get back to the car, but nope, we were just enjoying one another's company. By the time we got to the car, we were both drenched. I got to watch this man fall in love with me right before my eyes that night. Most women dont really get to see such a thing - I was lucky. We had an amazing relationship, he truly was my soulmate... ... three years later I found a crack-pipe in his pocket... and that was the end of that. We are still very close friends to this day.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

gals....what does take things slow really mean? Posted: 7/20/2008 12:50:39 PM
Ok... I am a woman.. in the same predicament... but on opposite sides of OP. Now I cannot speak for the lady that OP is referring to, I would like to hear responses. Because as confusing as it is for the poor fella putting up with this... its also as confusing to me... how do you explain it??? Just broke up with someone... not a long relationship - 4mos. Ok, prior to that was really having some serious dating burnout. Everyone is saying, "you need to get back out there, get back on that horse" (and i do think they really intended that pun!) So I come back to POF - but I'm seriously not feeling it! I meet several really nice guys, but not any "it". But thats ok, im actually enjoying some "me time" and making alot of great new friends. (its important to me to surround myself with good and decent people). Then I meet a particular fella - and our raport is fantastic... chemistry is great... dates are fabulous... but I still dont feel "it". I let him know well in advance that I am on the rebound and in a serious dating funk. (communicated clearly, not subltly!) And that I want to take things rather slowly, that I do not want to jump from one relationship to another. Well after a couple weeks, he is obviously feeling "it" and then theres talk on his part like we are already in a relationship... Then im not liking our conversations so much... I let him know that im sort of "cooling off". And he is really upset. And I cant help but feel that as honest as I tried to be, that I somehow did something wrong. So.. there it is... interpret as you will , cuz i cant figure the damn thing out.. and he wants an explanation that I simply dont have to give him.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

How fast have you fell for a guy? Posted: 7/17/2008 1:49:25 PM
If all things are go... no red flags... we have amazing time together... and I'm "ripe" for a relationsip... then I guess I tend to average 2-3 months.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Career Posted: 7/17/2008 1:33:05 PM
You know, I've never understood this one either. My dad was self-employed, worked out of town Mon-Wed/Thurs. Came home, worked ALL AROUND THE HOUSE all weekend (there was no calling in for services.. he took care of it all, cars too) Played music (had his own band) FRI/SAT/SUN - then woke up Monday morning and did it all over again. Did I also mention that he bought and sold cars? was also a Notary? Not once did I ever hear my mother complain! And she never needed to. When he came home on Wed or Thurs. he would always take us out to a really nice restaurant. When he worked around the house, I tottled along with him - to this day I do my own basic car and home repairs. Evenings we would watch TV, me falling asleep with him in his recliner. I never once felt slighted as a child by his work schedule. So I have nothing but the highest regard for a man who will bust his ass, making something of himself, achieving something great. And I will never understand the women that complain about this. Emotionally distant men however, are a different story, and come in a variety of occupations for them to hide behind.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Did you cum YET? Posted: 7/17/2008 9:12:29 AM
Ok, OP, now I get this... and it's not a sex issue as much as a communication one. An ex of mine used to do the same thing... he would insist that I had to have one every session (sometimes I dont need the "O" just the touching and bonding is sufficient) made me feel the same way, like I hadnt performed. When he asks you if you've cum, HE KNOWS that you haven't, he's just trying to put the conversation on the table to find out if 1) its one of those nights where thats ok or 2) should he continue to complete his mission. He is looking for feedback, and the respectful thing is to give it too him. But you cannot put him in a damn-if-you-do-or-don't position, which is what you are doing. If he tries to talk about it you get mad... and if he rolls over and goes to sleep you get mad. What do you want the poor fella to do? You may have talked about it with him... but anyone can tell you, that some topics require MANY conversations before both of you reach that sweet place of "OH, ok, I get it now" With my ex... ...i would let him know ahead of time if it was one of those easy ride nights ... ; but if it wasnt, all it took was me saying "I wasnt quite finished, mind if i finish myself" and within minutes he would be back on the mission! Figure out what works for you... but by all means TALK ABOUT IT!!!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Did you cum YET? Posted: 7/16/2008 9:58:32 PM
Ladies: What phrases have you heard that make you wanna say: "go home" The Orgasmus Interuptus: "OMG Am I hurting you!?" May as well just shoot me.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Why does this happen? Posted: 7/16/2008 8:09:47 PM
Have you not noticed... We (women) generally decide when sex happens... but its generally the men who determine when the relationship happens. You should have followed his lead. Seems to me that he probably was in fact busy, but when you jumped the gun and communicated what you did, you came off as desperate, and quickly turned his interest into dis-interest. Dont put your eggs (haha, pun) in one basket. It was a great date, then fine. You would like to pursue more with him... also fine. But don't stop your whole dating groove, until he indicates the feeling is mutual. Otherwise, you're just dating yourself, which is no fun.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

The PIC or the Profile Posted: 7/16/2008 7:59:10 PM
I dont waste my time looking at a profile without a pic. A profile without a pic, is like fishing without bait.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 718 (view)

Favorites List????? Posted: 7/16/2008 7:49:07 PM
If I like someones profile, I will add them with the intention of contacting later when I have more time. Sometimes that doesnt happen- I get busy or they fall thru the cracks. Its my "wink and a smile" that shows I'm interested. When someone adds me.. I often will thank them... Why dont you try that.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Self-employed, likes the outdoors. Posted: 7/16/2008 7:44:09 PM
I have a big backyard where he could run and play...

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

An odd thing that really got me Posted: 7/16/2008 7:38:13 PM
yep... thats me! ... anything mechanical ... any building and... If they have some sort of technical/mechanical type job, and talk to me about it - whether I understand what the hell they are talking about or not... ... all the foreplay I need!

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Anyone think the same? Posted: 7/15/2008 4:50:42 PM
After being raised Roman Catholic, and then coverting to non-denominational christianity... I am now an Agnostic too. I can tell you that after having been a christian... EVERYTHING they believe is black or white. It is either of god, or of the devil... for god, or against him. Thats the basic logic, and nothing else exists to them outside of that logic. Well I lived "the logic" for a number of years - 9 yrs to be exact. No sex... no drinking... quit smoking weed... got back in college... raised my children well... It was a fabulous experience, until things came into my life that were "outside the logic". And I was ill-prepared to cope. So now I'm agnostic... dont know if he's there, and until he/she/it cares to converse with me mano-a-mano... i dont really care. I dont need a group to tell me how to be a decent person... I'm a brilliantly smart woman and can figure it out myself - and have the fortitude to be the best i can be, even when no eyes are watching. I have a different logic now. And no, they will NEVER understand, until they are too faced with something that is "outside the logic" and then we will be there to finally explain and help them thru what they will be finally ready to accept.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 72 (view)

Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date? Posted: 7/8/2008 11:33:26 PM
If women do not do the asking, being that they are shy, timid, uncertain, or prideful even, what does a woman do in order to get a man to ask her out? It's called FLIRTING.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Do abusers repeat there patterns Posted: 7/8/2008 10:21:29 PM
Is it more an incompatibility between to certain people or do these people have a serious flaw that they carry from relationship to relationship Its called Borderline Personality Disorder. Its the nature of the beast. And a serious flaw no matter who the other personality is - they will always do what their nature makes them do. RUN! theres plenty enough normal people out there.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Is cooking considered a gender role? Posted: 7/8/2008 1:18:25 AM
I dont have the traditional mentality, in that I believe in being equal partners. But I have taken a close look at what I have to offer... and what type of man I'm attracted to and oddly enough, things just seems to fall towards a traditional pattern. I cook, sew, garden... etc. But I also can build/repair small things, and work on my own car. I can take care of my own relatively well. But in a relationship... well... I generally cook better. The guys I usually date can cook, but don't really like to - and I LOVE cooking; and the guys who do like cooking tend to get competitive about it - and that turns me off. I hate the way men do laundry - so I usually pick up that task and am happy to do it. And nothing turns me on more than a man who can work on cars and build stuff in general. (OMG) So I end up dating guys who tend to pick up these tasks. I guess more important is the attitude about it. If I see something needing to be done... I will do it... or ask that it be done.. I wont sit around waiting for the other person to do it just because "thats not my role". And I cannot stand men who don't have the same attitude - who just leave things undone because "thats womens work" . I find it lazy, childish, disgusting and a major turn-off.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 151 (view)

Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny Posted: 7/7/2008 1:40:40 PM
Tarzan, Tarzan flyin thru the air, Tarzan lost his underwear, Tarzan said, "Me don't care, Jane's gonna make me another pair" Cheetah, Cheetah flyin thru the air, Cheetah lost his underwear, Cheetah said, "Me don't care, Jane's gonna make me another pair" Jane, Jane flyin thru the air, Jane lost her underwear, Jane said, "I don't care, Tarzan likes me better bare!"

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 97 (view)

Too busy to date then why try Posted: 7/1/2008 10:47:31 PM
"Too busy to date" is such a subjective phrase. Many suggestions have been made to me that I might be too busy to date. I am simply a high achiever with a strong work ethic; with a particular issue that requires alot of $$$. And if my particular issue were resolved tomorrow, I'd still be reaching for the stars. It's just who I am. And I proved all their asses wrong as I went on 4 dates last week! So there. I DO have time to fit in a relationship, as long as its with the right person, complete within himself; someone who isn't overly needy. lol... lookin for that Oprah/Stedman connection till then...

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Money issues Posted: 7/1/2008 9:22:47 PM
I wouldnt date someone 2 1/2 hrs away... hell I now refuse to date 45 minutes away... I may decide to round it down to 30. I think I'll buy a motorcyle... yeah, that's what I'll do.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Need some advice... Posted: 7/1/2008 9:05:35 PM
I know exactly what you mean... when I'm dating someone, I feel sooooo silly introducing him has my "boyfriend"... like I'm in high school or something. So its awkward. And its one of the talks I always have to have with whomever I'm dating because I don't want him offended when I introduce them as my "friend" or "my date" especially if we've decided to date exclusively. It gets easier if I've dated someone over a year, as then I introduce them as my partner. But before that is always soooo very awkward to me.

L80nw8ng

Joined: 7/2/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Ladies, how many of you ask guys out on first meet or date? Posted: 7/1/2008 8:40:04 PM
I typically dont ask men out for a few important reasons. Men seem to be hard-wired to be pursuers, (its biology, I didn't make the rules, just forced to play by them). If the pursuit is taken away (by me pursuing them, or, asking them out on a dates) they tend to be lazy in relationships. I have had this experience with each and every man I have asked out. So I now listen to my mother's advice and don't ask. I do initiate flirting... and if he brings up the subject "maybe we can do this or that" I will respond "ok, so when are we gonna do this or that, like you said". So there's no misunderstanding as to whether or not I'm interested. Anything more than that... like having to hit them over the head with a brick.. and I'm sorry they are either too lazy or too socially unsophisticated to be with me. I would be more content to be alone than with someone like that. Now, with that said, I do understand that some guys are shy. For that, I do amp up the flirting a bit. But they still have to make the first move. If they are really interested they will, if they are not, they wont.... its as simple as that. If I ever DO ask a guy out... its because I've already relegated him to the friend zone.

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