there are some really great men out there and some really great women. but, we have to be together enough in and of ourselves-- and take educated risks to get to meet each other. we all have burdens, but can do w/o the baggage..... and speaking of "drama", that is not reserved for women. i am not much into drama either with the men in my life.

If you are on here to get even with your man, i 'd suggest you stop all that and face your problems squarely. get to know and improve yourself before you enter the "dating" world. because in your current position, you will just attract more of "the same".

i have always had high standards for my friends and they were not "superficial" standards either. in the past, i think i made too many excuses for my failed partnerships. but, i learned. each lesson was different. over time, we get to the core of the positive things we have experienced and apply that to what we "also" seek in a romantic partnership.

but the possibilities...such as that you are lovable, can succeed at difficult things, have accomplished something meaningful

i mean how many here have plain given up when bad things happen to them, let alone one after the other!?* if i hadn't experienced certain successes in life, i might not be all this trusting or positive (which does not, btw, equate to naive or stupid just in case one might surmise!) it's the good stuff that has kept me going to find more of it and weed out the bad stuff.

It has to do with pleasing you at a much longer pace than what he would have in his younger days. I have found that "older" men are just a little longer at "hitting their mark". Why, because they are slowly making me hit my mark, over and over.

yes, i'm for real. read the "literature". it's not a secret. many in the medical field, describe perimenapausal increased sex drive in women as a biological last attempt to procreate (provided by "nature").

i tracked down my first boyfriend and said to myself "what was i thinking?!*" sure wish it was like you describe though!

The whole notion is romantic but unfortunately, most times it's not like how it is in the movies. I love the British TV show called "As Time Goes By."

Re: alcohol, I had a friend over once who doesn't drink alcohol and we shared a package of cheese fondue. She kept mentioning the alcohol and how much she could taste it and I think she was afraid she'd get drunk! It was soooooo good tho.

And for those with a tender tummy, I would suggest some 'ginger bites' to calm what ills.

I was surprised about the baking soda though, I always thought it really did help with odors, or humidity, or something.

All I know is ever since I started adding a little vinegar to the boiling water, MY eggs crack less often,

"Spiritual, but not religious "

too many tightly defined categories or descriptions seems counterproductive if becoming acquainted is the goal of posting a profile here on Plenty Of Fish.

For me, travel is discovery and adventure, not so much tourism, so though I think traveling with a friend (someone I'd want to spend time with in any case, not just someone going with me so I don't have to go alone) is great, wonderful, there is a certain kind of excitement and challenge when traveling alone that adds a richness to the experience.

Sometimes in life, things really do get in the way of dating, and throw people off too.

Don't ask me why because I don't read minds.

I'd say he was probably insecure and had some issues unrelated to you.

Whenever this happens to me, I always resort to prayer. After all, God is watching us "from a distance"

4.It is simple these women choose greed over principal , but that is the Washington lifestyle

mizzie said, The truth is, a lot, not all, but some, parents feel that their children are the greatest thing since sliced bread and a lot of the time nothing is further from the truth. Also, I have found, parents who date non-parents tend to expect the non-parent to make all the compromises in the relationship, as if our life is less important because we didn't have kids

And what do I think of myself?
Well I think Im a good and honest person that got caught up in a bad situation and Im honest enough to admit it.Unfortunately I only realized the truth after the fact.

FlameNFire said, OP, you had to know you were going to get reamed on this thread. I get that you are trying to make a point and feeling that people are missing it. You feel that you willingness to "put your painful truth out there" should be proof that you have learned from this mistake. You wont get through to the masses, but E for effort. You obviously made a big mistake, I sense that you have figured that out and don't need anyone else to beat you over the head with that.

FriendlyFreeSpirit said, Sweetie, I'm sorry as well you've been hurt so badly.
I don't think you got played and I don't think you did the wrong thing by falling in love. I think all those older people telling you that you should know better are being harsh.

The term "arm candy" comes to mind. Like someone else said, THEY already have their lives figured out. They just need to find the, pardon the expression, barbie doll to live in their little dream house. He/she should have no opinions save what they are assigned. They should have no interests outside of those of their partner. And they should be good looking enough that they can be shown off at parties & to friends.
THAT is definitely settling.

For your sake, I hope it works out. I wish nothing bad upon you, Its just you started your own thread with gloom and doom, so you cant really blame us. You admitted it was a bad divorce.

Is appropriate to sleep with your ex to get closure?

I can't see what friendship has to do with a FWB relationship.
It's a casual encounter where two people scratch each others itch, instead of resorting to the self inflicted variety of sex...

I thought the prize was given for accomplishments not wishes and dreams. Being adept at expelling hot air does not make one worthy of this prize......

Beautifully written, well executed, and yes, extremely funny- especially to those of us who have been there and done that. More than once.

but when i think about our relationship, how we were together, how he treated me, how he is towards my son, how he was towards my parents. he helped me with a lot of things in the past 10 months, and now, he could just tell me that its over, so just dump me, but nop, he still here, calling, texting.


im lost :(

We have all advise you against this man. But only you can make the decision

People who are comfortable with themselves will post recent pics those who aren't wont, simple as that.

Go figure. No wonder I don't date from here.

Another thing about date & kissing is that towards the end of time spent together one or both parties have that tingling feeling as to whether instinctively go for a kiss or not.
Body language and intuition never failed in my life.

And none of them have been photo shopped to add or take away anything from my appearance.

But the most important thing is my dog is even more beautiful in person, and her teeth are much larger.

and I was at wits end worrying about what might happen next. Since then, I've found a much better job, gotten back into some old hobbies, made some new friends and am less stressed than I've been in a very long time. I've found and really believe that with a positive attitude and a little patience, things can, will and do get better.

In reality, there are many things that can make a man more of a man. Primarily, I'd say it is due to positive personal growth during adversity. (Okay, in that case, perhaps marriage does qualify!)

But my real question is this, you have this beautiful woman, who treats you horribly and her only merit is how she looks, at some point don't your friends start to see you as the idiot?

if there is no lack or integrity, character, passion, strength and kindness...?

It's possible men who like to cook are more appreciative of domesticity in general. If both people appreciate domestic life they'll make better partners for each other, than those who prefer to be out all the time.

And what if i was at fault as well? She left because i wasn`t paying enough attention back than. She gave me ample warning... if you`re ex didn`t pay enough attention to you what would you have done? Stay?

"It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance"

-- from Shakespeare's Macbeth.

Regardless of what people say, finances DO matter in a relationship, it is one of the number one reasons for divorce. I am not so concerned with HOW much a man makes, as I am with, is he financially wise?

However, if you spend any significant amount of time with someone, you can get an idea if your financial lifestyles mesh and if the two of you view financial matters the same way.

And I think many of us are almost instinctively drawn to others who live in this way and wish to have them in our lives. They give us permission to be whole and complete ourselves, imperfect, fallible, sometimes weak, rather than the fractured self-image of the ideal heroic self, always knowing, always strong, always charming, always in control.

I do THANK everyone who has given an opinion and truly appreciate each and everyone`s thoughts on this matter.
Right, wrong or indifferent the lines of communication are now open for discussion with each other and we`re going to take it one day at a time.

If you are questioning it now, is that a good thing, do ya think?
In my opinion, you are making a huge mistake. She wants to know that you will still be around to pick up the pieces when she needs you.
What part of she "fell out of love"with you don't you quite grasp?

Guys I know what my girlfriends all think - but girlfriends tell you what you WANT to hear. What do you guys think???

P.S
Nurture ~ relish ~ cherish

but he also told me she had a better body than me! I told him that's not something you say to someone you're trying to get back with and he said "but she's younger than you and it's the truth!" Guess you can guess where that got him.

Common values are essential to any successful relationship, but I think it might actually be our differences and our willingness to accept and respect the differences in one another that draw us closer together, that creates that stronger bond and instills loyalty, and makes us love one another just the way we are.

Yet, I knew in the back of my mind there was a mold he had for me, and part of me would never be able to be me.