so, why are you still single? chat & forums.

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doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 1659 (view)

so, why are you still single? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:21:20 AM
Because I'm a picky git with no right to be. Apparently.

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Why do women not answer the initial contact? Posted: 4/25/2009 10:37:05 AM
Many of the women I know don't answer for one of two reasons: 1) Answering in ANY WAY AT ALL - even a 'thanks but no thanks' is often taken as "she's interested, deep down". 2) Answering with a 'thanks but no thanks' can often lead to a 'why not, you stuck up ****' type response. Just get used to silence being taken as 'not interested'

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Sum me up in five words. Posted: 4/21/2009 11:47:23 PM
Cheers, people. Given me and my friend Juliet (whose idea this thread was) a laugh. You are, of course, ALL right.

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

How do you get started on cyber dating Posted: 4/21/2009 2:46:29 PM
It's not just you. First up, there are quite a few people who think that it's really odd, but it's no odder than getting drunk and meeting random people in a bar! You have to face a few facts - people will judge you instantly on your profile, and there's not a lot you can do about that other than make sure you're happy that it portrays you in the way you want to appear. You will mail a LOT of people who won't reply. You will get mail from NUTTERS. But there are nice people on here. I've met a few very good friends as a result of being on here, and that's good enough. But don't spend forever talking to people online - once YOU feel comfortable with it, arrange to meet up (somewhere safe and public), and take it from there. Cyber-dating as such is no more than an introduction, you want to actually MEET the people you contact, and from there it's just like the real world. 'cos it is the real world.

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Sum me up in five words. Posted: 4/21/2009 12:37:11 PM
OK, I posted on the forums the other day (first time ever) and had a couple of interesting responses - one in particular made me wonder what kind of an image I'd portrayed as I didn't think it was that accurate. Having asked a couple of female friends they don't think that person's view of me was accurate at all (indeed one I've just spoken to about it again says this: "I think it's accurate and like you, but then again I KNOW you. I don't know how that would come across if I didn't), SO I'd like to find out if the opinion I got was the exception or the rule. To make this simple, can you please just put FIVE words you'd describe me as after seeing my profile? And this is intended for women only, hence me putting it here. Thanks

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I expect so few replies? Posted: 4/19/2009 7:59:31 AM
Thanks for all the messages, folks. I see pretty much everything that's being said, and agree with most of it. OK, the gay cowboy picture is my favourite picture of me (most of them I -don't- like at all), and I do actually look like that. Which is nice. The testimonial is from someone who I met on here who is going through a very messy divorce - we're good friends, but neither of us is what the other is looking for for various reasons, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, BUT I do see the 'tacky' viewpoint as well. However, she is a good friend and I hope someone would see it as that, rather than something negative. Oh, and for the record, I DO attempt to date in the real world, it's just that it's not often that I see someone I find attractive enough to make an effort with, and anyone who knows what Bournemouth is like (or rather, a LOT of women who live in Bournemouth) will know that it can be quite a hard thing to do; there's a LOT of attitude and it's more of a game to see who you can shoot down in flames; one of the reasons I'm on PoF is because you'd at least hope women on here would be receptive to that. I can verbally joust with the best of them, but it's not really my idea of a good night out spending it making witty put-downs to defend yourself when you've just been crucified by a woman you've had the guts to go up to an speak to after spending half the night summoning up the courage to do so! The women I've emailed have been interested in things that I think I would like or know something about; there aren't that many women who like rallying, but I'm not expecting that (although most tell me they either drive like rally drivers or want to have a go in one - until I tell them the cost!), but then I guess you're right ~charmed~ - I shouldnt want to hear back from someone who's not interested, and I guess they're just not, for whatever reason. I should make it clear that I haven't only sent 40 emails in the time I've been on here, just that's the number of women I've made first contact with. I've had quite a few emails from women mailing me (not wanting to sound big headed!), and got to know a few as a result of exchanging mails; I was commenting on the lack of replies from those I have mailed initially. Finally, thanks to those ladies who have paid me a compliment. I wasn't expecting that, but I'm glad that some of you think my profile is interesting and shows I have a sense of humour. I'll just have to expect few replies when mailing someone initally!

doppelganger_71

Joined: 7/11/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Should I expect so few replies? Posted: 4/19/2009 2:39:38 AM
OK, I've been on this site for a LONG time. Unfortunately I'm quite a particular person, and there aren't that many women I find really attractive - it's not just a physical thing for me (unlike most of my friends!), I really need to make a connection and 'click' with someone to want to date them. I've been on quite a few dates in the past, but not met anyone that I really felt that with (and no doubt many of the women I've been out with would say the reverse about me!). My question, though, is should I expect so few replies? Out of all of the women I've mailed and made initial contact with, only TWO have ever replied to me. I'm not a 'carpet bomber', so it's not as if I just mail every woman who appears on PoF in a 25-mile radius (quite the opposite), BUT I've probably mailed 40 or so women on here in the time I've been a member. My emails aren't of the order of 'Hi, great profile, message me if you like what you see', but instead I've always asked something about their profile because I've genuinely been interested, which is the kind of mail I'd like to get. So I can only see the following outcomes: 1) I'm mailing women that are SO far out of my league that a reply is never going to come. 2) My emails are entirely inappropriate and I should, instead be saying 'Great Profile, LOL, etc' 3) My profile is so unattractive as to put people off (however, it is entirely accurate, so maybe it's ME that's unattractive). 4) Women just don't reply in general, so getting a 5% reply rate isn't so bad after all. To be honest, I feel like giving up completely! I'm hoping that really it's number 4, but typically, ladies, what percentage of mails do you reply to? Should I change tactics?

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