Why do men say LTR if they don't mean it? chat & forums.

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Thread: Why do men say LTR if they don't mean it?

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Why do men say LTR if they don't mean it? Posted: 7/8/2009 6:26:27 PM
You didn't do anything wrong. He's not willing to commit. It's entirely likely that a week from now he'll change his mind again. Some people just don't have a clue about how to have a real relationship.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Dating different age groups Posted: 6/9/2009 7:11:58 PM
I've dated women much younger than me. It has its good points and its bad. You definitely have a completely different set of experiences. I have a 45 year old friend with a 25 year old wife. They've been together for 5 years and have a better relationship than I've ever had with a woman. I think that like anything else, it can work for some people and not others. Some things that I've experienced that a 20 year old hasn't: The end of the Vietnam War Watergate Iran hostages Oil shortage in the early 80s 18% inflation under Carter The Cold War The Evil Empire Fall of the Berlin Wall Star Wars Disco TVs without remote control UHF TV Vinyl records 8-track tapes Flower Power Hippies Leisure Suits Hot Pants Members Only Jackets HOLY SH!T I'M OLD!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Guys, opinions on female multiple orgasms...... Posted: 1/28/2009 3:06:53 PM
Multi-orgasmic women are God's greatest gift to mankind.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

What's in a hug Posted: 1/28/2009 3:05:06 PM
Personally, I like hugs. I'm a hugger. I hug my guy friends, my girl friends, my dogs........... A good hug is comfortable. You're not holding back. Those people who stick their butts out away from you when they hug -- that's not a hug. The whole hugging while air kissing each other's cheeks -- that's not a hug. A hug says I like you, I'm comfortable with you, and I'll protect you. For a romantic hug, I like it when the woman is about 6" shorter than me, so her head can rest on my chest and I can wrap my arms around her. She snuggles in nice and close, so that I can smell her perfume or her hair and she will feel safe and protected in my arms.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

strange situation Posted: 1/27/2009 7:52:18 PM
What does it matter how he feels? How do YOU feel? He's not giving you the attention for want, he acts distant, and he's not being open and honest. Stand up for yourself. Tell him how you feel. If he isn't what you want, WALK AWAY.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

would you do anything to save your relationship Posted: 10/28/2008 1:07:44 PM
Not a chance. They've been together for 4 years now and he still doesn't trust her. Deleting her AOL account is going to fix it. He has trust issues. If she had been meeting other people via AOL he would have a reason to feel threatened by AOL, but I doubt she is or you would have mentioned it. He's insecure and is using controlling behavior to try to feel less so. It won't work.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

once trust is lost can it be won back? Posted: 10/28/2008 12:53:52 PM
He left the email up. If it was personal, he shouldn't have been checking it on your computer, and he shouldn't have left it open for you to find it. You haven't done anything wrong. And your boyfriend sounds like a control freak.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Things to do before that First Date Posted: 10/26/2008 6:47:27 PM
My glass is still half full. I'm glad to hear it! But I still think meeting someone on here who looks like their photo is an urban legend...........

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Things to do before that First Date Posted: 10/26/2008 5:13:00 PM
He gave you his phone number, but in what context? I'd rather talk on the phone than e-mail. E-mail is too sterile. There's no emotion. You can't hear the pitch and tone of the other person's voice when they're telling you about things. Smilies don't do it. It doesn't matter if he thought you wanted to meet too soon. Everybody is going to have different time frames before they're comfortable meeting. Were YOU comfortable meeting that soon? I'd rather meet sooner rather than later. Putting off meeting is stupid. The point of this site is to meet people. So make a date to meet at a coffee shop or a restaurant or a mall. Somewhere public, where you both can feel safe. Meet, talk, enjoy yourself. Take a chance -- It's just a date.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

I Need Some Advice, Please Posted: 10/26/2008 4:28:11 PM
Walk away. He wants you back, but he contacts you a month after he stood you up, and he provides no apology or explanation? Then again two weeks later, still without an apology and via text? Walk away. He has no respect for you. There is absolutely nothing here for you to miss out on.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

For Men Only Do you prefere looks or personality?? Posted: 10/26/2008 4:07:43 PM
For me, it's both. I have to be physically attracted to a woman. But I also have to be mentally attracted to her as well. A pretty package is nice, but if we can't carry on a conversation about something more substantial than the latest happenings on Survivor, the pretty packaging won't matter.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

profile with face in the picture Posted: 6/22/2008 7:59:44 PM
My upload privileges were revoked nearly a year ago. I have posted in several places asking how I go about getting them restored, but so far I haven't received any responses. I will certainly abide by forum rules regarding my profile photos. Can someone please point me in the right direction to get my privileges reinstated? Done / Ticketoride Thank you!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

profile with face in the picture
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:49:24 PM

My upload privileges were revoked nearly a year ago. I have posted in several places asking how I go about getting them restored, but so far I haven't received any responses.

I will certainly abide by forum rules regarding my profile photos.

Can someone please point me in the right direction to get my privileges reinstated?

Done / Ticketoride

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

Tumbleweeds Blowing Through Tennessee? Posted: 5/28/2008 12:43:07 PM
Can't do June 7, I'll be flying to Honduras for a week of diving in the Caribbean! I'll keep an eye out for one in Knoxville.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 106 (view)

Tumbleweeds Blowing Through Tennessee? Posted: 5/27/2008 5:01:11 PM
I'm interested in a M&G in E TN. What did you have in mind?

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 160 (view)

Lack of information in profession slot Posted: 5/27/2008 1:49:48 PM
Listing a profession is important to me, but not because I'm interested in money. I get along best with women who are well educated and professional. Women who have careers, not jobs. Women who are interested in making a better life for themselves and who are willing to work for it. Most people don't realize how much effort is required to get a masters or PhD. Most people who start one never finish. It takes dedication, intelligence, and the willingness to put up with a colossal amount of BS! People with that level of dedication but who also know how to enjoy life are very attractive to me. Jana, if you weren't 1000 miles away, I'd hit on you every day. I might anyway!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Can't get over an ex... Posted: 5/27/2008 11:50:06 AM
Yes, it's very difficult to get over someone that you cared so much about for so long. It's completely natural. But he doesn't care as much about you as you do about him. In fact, he probably rarely thinks about you. I'm sorry that I sound harsh, but it's reality. He was over you before he started cheating on you. You're a beautiful woman. You will find someone who is willing to accept you for who you are and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Sometimes it's going to be difficult for you to believe that, but it's true. Don't go back to the jerk. You deserve better.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

I think some men are too hard on themselves... Posted: 5/27/2008 11:41:21 AM
There are plenty of women on this site who say they are looking for their "knight in shining armor" or "a good guy", or some other way of phrasing it. And there are plenty of guys who are looking for "the perfect woman" or their "damsel in distress". I think many people have unreal expectations. Nobody is perfect. If you get really lucky, you might find somebody who is really great FOR YOU. Those people are out there. We just have to open our eyes and our hearts to the possibility that he's not an underwear model, but maybe a "driving range pro in a beer-stained undershirt". TRUE love is an amazing thing. But it's not something that can be forced. It's not something that can be distilled down into a text box on a computer screen. If we're willing to take a chance, there are amazing possibilities out there.................

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

cold and indifferent Posted: 5/27/2008 11:36:15 AM
To me, a woman I think is cold and indifferent is someone who came across as acting superior or bored. If I spend an hour with someone and she has no hobbies, nothing that interests her, nothing that she is passionate about, she's going to get that label. Everyone should have things they're passionate about. Their kids, travel (MINE!), missionary work, scuba diving (MINE!), their family.................. SOMETHING!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Requested Posted: 5/25/2008 3:10:04 PM
Thanks guys. I'd love to add more photos, but they restricted my upload privileges last Fall. I left my messaging options open because I'm pretty open to what I'm looking for. I've dated women 1000 miles away, older women, younger women.......... they all had qualities I was looking for that transcend restrictions. Yeah, I know the numbers are against me. I was really wondering if there was something glaring I was doing wrong. Thanks guys.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Profile Review Requested Posted: 5/25/2008 11:16:12 AM
Please take a look at my profile and offer me some constructive criticism. I'm curious as to why I am not having more luck attracting women here. I have photos, everything is filled out, I'm not completely bizarre............. Thank you.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 69 (view)

When a woman tells you what you can and can't do... Posted: 5/22/2008 5:11:28 PM
She obviously has trust issues. It's never going to work because she's never going to trust him. He needs to walk away. I've been in his situation before. It doesn't end well.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 1021 (view)

PICS: Profile Image Problems / Instructions to Upload Posted: 5/20/2008 9:29:40 AM
How long will I be prohibited from posting pics? Two photos of me -- both clearly of me -- were deleted last fall and my uploading privileges suspended. Who do I contact to ask for my upload privilege to be restored?

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

How can you tell if a girl has a crush... Posted: 5/16/2008 5:01:24 PM
The emails while on vacation were from her crackberry that is her third arm. She didn't send them because she's interested. YOU'RE MARRIED!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

lack of communication can kill a relationship? Posted: 5/16/2008 3:47:41 PM
Kick his butt out! He doesn't respect you, and I doubt he even likes you. He is definitely using you. You deserve better!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Forgiving without forgetting... Posted: 11/18/2007 12:04:29 PM
Maybe he just realizes what a terrible husband he was and he's working on being a better one for the next lady. There's nothing wrong with apologizing to someone for doing something wrong. Sometimes a rose is just a rose.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 885 (view)

FAQ - Profile Image Problems / Instructions to Upload Posted: 11/18/2007 12:02:27 PM
I had my main picture deleted several months ago because my headshot wasn't a face pic. Will my photo posting privileges ever be restored? As soon as we can get a Head Shot where you are clearly visible ---> Recognizable Headshot Criteria

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Oppion needed...Be nice..but truthful Posted: 11/17/2007 8:56:59 PM
He's unhappy about his ex dating someone new and having another man in his boys' life. You need to talk to him about it. If he doesn't want to, you need to walk away. He obviously has some issues he needs to deal with. If he doesn't want to treat you like an adult and an important part of his life, why are you putting up with it?

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Breast reduction scars Posted: 11/14/2007 11:47:32 AM
Yes I have. They were far too large and caused her a variety of health issues. The scars were very noticeable, but they didn't diminish her sensitivity. The scars didn't bother me at all.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Would you date someone withOUT tats? Posted: 11/14/2007 11:42:56 AM
Sure, I would date a woman without tats. Another vote that your friend is an idiot. He'd say no to a threesome with the Dahm triplets just because they don't have tattoos? That's CRAZY TALK!

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

What size is your bed? Posted: 11/14/2007 11:36:10 AM
I have a king-size bed. I like the space, and I have a big bedroom. It also gives my Border Collies a convenient obstacle for their racetrack.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

where is the weirdest place u had sex??? Posted: 11/12/2007 12:19:17 PM
Outdoor gun range at night Boss's office during work day Airplane bathroom Back of my Suburban parked at a scenic overlook in the Smokies Condo balcony in Myrtle Beach Bathroom in local park Hotel parking garage, 5PM on a weekday Hot tub, swimming pool

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Dating someone in transition, moving from one place to another, which is close to you... Posted: 11/12/2007 12:02:51 PM
Sure, I'd date someone who was planning to move to the area. It couldn't get very serious until after the move, but exclusive dating wouldn't be an issue to me.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Am I being a psycho ex? Posted: 11/12/2007 11:50:18 AM
This guy is a piece of chit. He dumped you a week after your parents died? He's a scumbag. From what you've told us, you're not being a psycho ex. You initiated contact ONCE. He telling his friends that because he doesn't want them all to realize what a worthless piece of crap he is. Move on, he's not worth your effort.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Reverse Cow Girl??? Posted: 11/11/2007 1:39:04 PM
Being the Southern Gentleman that I am, I feel I must do everything I can to help alleviate your concern. It's for that reason only that I'm offering to help you work through this problem. We shouldn't need to have sex in that position more than 300-400 times before you're completely comfortable with it. But I'm happy to help you out.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

why don't you write attractive women? Posted: 11/11/2007 1:34:38 PM
My guess is distance will play a role. I don't know where in NY you are, but I'm sure it's a long way from TN. There are a lot of people on here from Canada, the UK, and Australia.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

What does this mean? Posted: 11/9/2007 3:02:00 PM
I have no idea what he meant. And I doubt he does either. He's an idiot.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

When an ex says, Call me anytime... Posted: 11/7/2007 2:48:42 PM
If I said that to an ex it's because she was welcome to call me. If I didn't want to hear from her, I would tell her. But in a nice way.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Telling a guy you like them? Posted: 11/7/2007 1:38:46 PM
Just tell him. Quite playing games. We're guys -- hints are useless.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Women putting themselves down all the time Posted: 11/7/2007 1:32:41 PM
I know lots of women who do it as well. It's a sign of low self-esteem. It's all a question of attitude. If you tell yourself that you're a loser, you will be. If you tell yourself you're beautiful, you will begin to feel beautiful. Start treating yourself the way that you deserve to be treated and others will do so as well.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Need advice for a friend - Why turned off by a woman with kids? Posted: 11/7/2007 12:50:48 PM
I don't have kids and have no concept of how being in a LTR with a women who did have kids would change my life. It would certainly change how much I travel, goof off, and play. And those things are pretty important to me. There's also the ex-husband/father drama. I've dated plenty of women with children who have spent an inordinate amount of energy on anger towards their ex. When you're dating a guy and trying to start a relationship with him, do ladies really think ****ing about the last guy 24/7 is attractive? Then there's the children who don't want mommy dating drama. They want all of the mom's attention -- and in the midst of a divorce, they need it. But after mom and dad have been split up for a few years, they still don't want mommy dating, they want mommy and daddy back together. So they sabotage any shot the mother has at beginning a relationship. There are good women with kids and bad women with kids -- just like any other trait or characteristic. You just have to keep trying until you find the right fit.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Have you ever slept with someone just because you were drunk? Posted: 11/7/2007 12:22:56 PM
Nope. Alcohol doesn't make me any more desirable to women.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

online pics.... Posted: 11/6/2007 12:51:02 PM
Why are you still in contact with this ***hole? Block his messages, hang up on his phone calls. STOP TALKING TO HIM.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Some advice would be greatly appreciated. (long read) Posted: 11/6/2007 12:48:39 PM
The guys an idiot. You deserve better. Stop putting up with his crap. Walk away. Find someone who actually gives a damn about you, unlike this jerk.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

It's not you, it's me! Posted: 11/6/2007 12:36:34 PM
What's so hard to understand? You're a nice person, you're just not the one for him.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Another Why Would A Guy Question LOL Posted: 11/5/2007 12:15:49 PM
The problem with not telling someone early is what happens if there is another headache and you have to end a date because you are ill. Then it comes out that you had the tumor, held back, etc., etc. Some people will be understanding that it's personal info and others will be pissed that you lied. There's no right or wrong answer. You had a perfectly valid reason for leaving the hotel early. He wasn't used and there is no reason for you to feel bad. As far as the guy, he's a jerk. He could have at least thanked you for the great sex before dumping you.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is it right for him to tell me how he feels? Posted: 11/5/2007 11:59:25 AM
He probably told you because he wants you to understand how he feels and why he acts weird around you and this guy. Or it could be a passive-aggressive attempt to get you to dump the guy. Whatever the reasoning, it's very odd.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out? Posted: 11/4/2007 2:03:07 PM
OP, you're 40, so I'm guessing your sister is an adult. If she is, there is no reason for this BS. If she doesn't want to have sex with him, that's fine. But she needs to start acting like and adult. She needs to tell him what she wants, why she is waiting, and what she's thinking. Your sister is the one playing the games. Yes, I would dump her. Not because she hasn't put out, but because she's being disrespectful to the man she claims to love.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Am I doing this right? Posted: 11/4/2007 1:51:08 PM
Thats a good question. If someone put me through the same questions I would be thinking 'I can find another one of you in a minute so whats up with the questions.' yup that is probably what I would be thinking but then it depends on the catch. If the guy is a catch, definitely I would be only happy to prove myself. I am not used to that though, I have never had to prove myself to a guy, its always the other way around. You're delusional if you actually believe this. The reason you haven't had to prove yourself is that you're chasing men away! Could you be any more arrogant? I really doubt that it's possible. I wholeheartedly agree that you need to get to know a person, find out what makes them tick, and do so in a safe manner. But you don't have to ask every question on the planet prior to the end of the first date. Do you really want to find someone? Stop chasing them away! Stop making assumptions and judgements about them! Stop treating them like they are not worthy of your time! Stop subjecting them to intense scrutiny before you even go out with them! Take your time and trust them to tell you the truth! You don't have to interpret, slant, internalize, and dissect everything a man says to you. If you had heard from ONE man that dating you was like the third degree, it should be a sign. Hearing it from MANY should tell you something! Try enjoying yourself on a date. You might find that something amazing happens.

volsgradstudent

Joined: 7/19/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Political view vs ethnic Posted: 11/3/2007 3:16:52 PM
I think it's like every other trait/view/opinion -- everyone is different. I'm not a white conservative Republican, but I doubt there is a rule about dating non-white conservative Republicans................

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