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SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 5/28/2009 12:44:46 AM
Thanks for the tip. Yeah I know I'm actually pretty camera shy alone. You'll usually just see me in group pics or really bad shots when im off guard. Thanks I appreciate that you appreciate my sense of humour. Hmm I totally forgot I even had it set to friends. I guess I was a little afraid of being shot down looking for someone to date.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 5/24/2009 3:21:55 AM
Ok edited it a little bit today wondering if its an improvement still need a new pic though

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/17/2009 10:30:12 PM
and she is absolutely correct. We would be wise to refrain from reacting too harshly to the tone we get from the written word. She? last time I checked I was a he.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/17/2009 2:40:33 AM
Wanted to add a little more insight to this message you recieved. It may seem as though they are insulting you with comments about being whacky. Whether that was their intentions thats something you have to ask them yourself. Who is to say Whacky is supposed to be insulting. They took the time to compare it to being somewhat charming. They said they wanted to get to know you better to see if you where genuninely as intelligent as you seem to be or whether it was just a thin veneer you put on. I find that often we do that when dealing with people put on a persona before revealing the true you. They are inquiring you about your intelligence which shoes interest in you rather then something more shallow but thats just my perception of the post. take it or leave it. I also wanted to point out that the tone of someones writing can be mistaken often. I noticed that some otheres who responded took the post as an insult.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/17/2009 1:54:33 AM
Would I respond to that? Absolutely. Why? because what I see is someone complimenting you on your humor, creativity and intelligence while trying to exhibit their own. Sometimes you have to look behind the words.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

My Funny Valentine Posted: 2/17/2009 1:47:33 AM
I wouldn't say mine was all that funny but I have to laugh at it or feel like the punch line. Like I was the butt of the joke. Sometimes you have to look at things that way. Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself in these situations.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

My Funny Valentine Posted: 2/16/2009 3:08:34 PM
Well its another year without a Valentine's, four years since I've been in a relationship. Not that it mattered much to me. I bought two big box of chocolates for my coworkers, figured i'd do something nice for the girls. The actual day well I just had to treat it like any other day, woke up, worked out, vegged a little watching t.v., decided I wasn't going to waste my day and sulking so headed downtown to dine out, totally bad mistake there. What I should have realized was I would have to deal with overbooked restaurant's and lines with smooching couples. Love how life rubs that im single in my face. I felt so awkward but didnt want to let the day get me down. Bought a book, managed to find somewhere decent to eat, choked on a piece of calamari..lol at almost choking to death.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

When ya write to another and not get a reply.. Posted: 2/16/2009 2:41:31 PM
At first it bothered me alot but I came to realize people are either too busy or are flooded with messages, especially when they are the opposite sex. Seeidng that someones read your message and its deleted does suck though, a simple sorry not interested is prefered over being ignored. Makes you wonder whats wrong with you. It makes me appreciate the people who do respond even more though when i get it which isnt too often unfortunately.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 1/27/2009 2:19:49 AM
I'm having trouble with the pics thing until i take some new ones where i smile which of the ones i have should i be using?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Accepting Losses Posted: 1/27/2009 2:18:39 AM
Thanks to the both of you time is helping, although I think stupid things like doing my best impersonation of Dustin Hoffman and crash the wedding. Then I regain my senses and realize even if i did. She doesn't feel anything for me and we've been apart so long. We aren't the same people so who's to say i'd have any feelings for the girl she is now.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Accepting Losses Posted: 1/26/2009 2:18:22 PM
I've been broken up from my last relationship, my first and only. Its taken me some time to get over her but I'm not sure if I am entirely. We tried being friends but I was incapable of hiding my feelings for her. Last time we spoke there was some chemistry between us but then she pushed me away further.at that time and had to cut all ties from her. Being away with her helped a little but there are times where I still thought of her. Currently I'm not sure what my feelings are. I still feel that loss but I'm beginning to forget why we where together, why I cared for her so much. I just know I missed the relationship we had. Although she said she wasn't being honest about our relationship so was what we had real? What am I missing if it wasnt? It makes me sad to think this way. Recently I had a moment of weakness. I tried contacting her and found out that she was engaged. It wasn't the first guy she's been with since our relationship but there was always a glimmer of hope now nothing. Part of me feels relieved that it forces me to move on. Another part feels regret that maybe I could have fought for her but then another side reminds me that as hard as I tried she pushed me away. I really dont know why I'm writing this I just wanted to get this out of me head and share

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 1/26/2009 3:05:59 AM
Your are all right about the no smiling thing I know. I just don't have many pics where I smile and I'm pretty damn camera shy. Its usually only candid shots that you catch me smiling. Not the ones i've posed for. I tried taking out some of the negativity so tell me what you think of it now. Thanks for the advice i appreciate it i'll see if i can add more happier pics. I am a happy person really really I am. i make people laugh and they say im crazy.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 1/26/2009 2:49:19 AM
Hi thanks for the advice I cut some stuff out and made some changes to my profile. The pic i'll have to work on though. I'll be honest i am a little bit insecure about my smile. Ha your right i was being a bit negative, I guess I was in a bad mindset when I wrote it. Sometimes i'm a little too honest.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 75 (view)

Just curious what a man thinks... Posted: 3/17/2008 2:13:40 AM
Hmm I dont know if any women I know have any misconceptions about me. I'm a private person but Ii never misrepresent who I am and the type of person I am. I'm pretty genuine. If you want to make misconception about me though, feel free lol.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 102 (view)

if a woman is too hot Posted: 3/17/2008 2:04:23 AM
I admit sometimes I lack the confidence to do so but i'm pretty friendly and bold so it depends on my mood and the situation we are in. If I sense they are approachable I will but sometimes you get a vibe that their walls are up and that they automatically expect you to be a creep. Sometimes however i'll luck out and find someone who wants to talk to you. Yeah talking to someone hot isnt my problem. Getting their numbers, asking them out thats a different thing all together. Although I had someone hot approach me once, that totally through me off, lol.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

Which is worse.... Posted: 3/4/2008 4:17:59 AM
I live with my dad becuz my mom died not too long ago i've had opportunities to leave but havent. There are plenty of times i wish i had but deep down i'd feel guilty if something happened or feel bad if i'd abandon them. What do you think of that? Does this make me a loser somehow?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 155 (view)

Female singers in hard rock/metal. Posted: 3/4/2008 4:01:24 AM
I like Lacuna Coil, does that count?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What am I doing wrong? Posted: 3/4/2008 3:55:13 AM
What am I doing wrong? Can someone tell me is it my profile? What can I fix there? I wear my heart on my sleeve and its who I am. Any advice on what I should add or exclude in my profile. Do I somehow present myself as undesirable?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Why can't men handle hardship and love at the same time? Posted: 3/4/2008 3:23:23 AM
I can totally empathize with him. He probably feels insecure and is playing the martyr. He feels that he cant measure up to what you need and that one day you'll realize that. You may care for him now but how long will you be willing to put up with his shit? Becuz if he does care for you well i think it would be heart breaking for him when you do decide that it wasnt working out for you two. We're sometimes cowards when it comes to love. Its not something we can physically fight or fix. Its something out of our control and well maybe he doesnt wanna put you through the hell he thinks he'll put you through. We have a hard time showing our vulnerability, you picking up the tab as generous and nice as it may be just makes him feel more vulnerable and useless.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

Do men really like 'hard to get' women? Posted: 3/4/2008 3:08:51 AM
Its a turn off to be chased by needy, clingy women who desperately throw themselves on you however its as much of a turn off to have a women play games and act coy in order for us men to chase after them becuz its just as clingy just in a different approach. Its only that the later is more enigmatic and forces us to pursue in order to find out more. With the former you've put all your cards on the table and theres nothing left to interest us. Sleeping with someone doesnt change how someone feels about another it just complicates them.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 164 (view)

Friends with Benefits..good or bad Posted: 3/4/2008 2:52:51 AM
Its great til it turns around and bites you in the ass. Nothing in life comes without strings.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 87 (view)

The things you miss most about being in a relationship... Posted: 3/4/2008 2:49:58 AM
I miss the intimacy, I miss feeling like I could share anything with someone and vice versa, I especially miss the feeling that theres someone there for me and I wasnt gonna be alone anymore.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Recurring Dreams Posted: 3/4/2008 2:44:18 AM
Yeah i've had tons of em. 1. In a car either driving or as a passenger unable to control where I was going. 2. Teeth falling out or Mangled. 3. I'm a resistance fighter in a futuristic war. 4. (The scariest i've had)I would see this lady who would stand and stare at me, through a window or from afar. Each time i'd slip into sleep paralysis. Its a state between being awake and going into rem sleep. Your minds conscious but your body is asleep like your in a living coma. It doesnt occur now but as a kid it was the most terrifying experience. 5. Lately been dreaming about my ex. She'd ask for us to get back or act like it never happened.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

Sex alternatives.... Posted: 3/4/2008 2:26:04 AM
We dont think about sex 24/7 we just want someone who wants it when we want it. Otherwise it would hard to get anything done.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 255 (view)

How Do Men Feel About Dating Virgins? Posted: 3/4/2008 2:21:21 AM
I was in a relationship with a virgin. I had no problems with that and I cared for her very much however she'd frequently remind me how she wouldnt unless she felt it was right and loved that person which meant she never loved me and that broke my heart. It never mattered to me and I would have waited til we where geriatric, I loved being with her for her not for the sex but she didnt feel the same and felt our relationship wouldnt progress beyond really good friends. We broke up her decision. So thats how I generally feel about that.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 80 (view)

Do Real men like Cats? Posted: 3/4/2008 2:04:49 AM
I've slept over at friends who have cats, and they are so affectionate. Sometimes curling up on my lap and purring. My friend her cat is skittish from abuse by previous owners and when she would curl up and purr and fall asleep with me it was a great feeling that i gained her trust, the cat not my friend lol. I like dogs too but im a cat person.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 181 (view)

Do men still look for old fashioned girls? Posted: 3/4/2008 1:52:33 AM
Define old fashioned plz

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Putting out on the first date. Posted: 3/4/2008 1:50:51 AM
I'd probably go for it, second date then a third, see where things go from there. I wouldnt judge it doesnt matter whether she put out first date or not at all. If you like someone you like someone plain and simple. Why give up an opportunity to be happy with someone?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

should I lie about my job? Posted: 3/4/2008 1:30:19 AM
I cant speak for others and i'm probably revealing to much of myself here. I think someone can feel insecure around others be it looks, education, income etc. Its not just us guys. However it could be that as a society the general role of a male is provider so it can be very immasculating. We want to be either better or equal but never less. I commend you if that stuff doesnt matter to you. Its not something that I see often in the opposite sex these days. I think you shouldnt hide who you are though. Just realize we all have our insecurites and sometimes we just need to be reassured we arent being judged soley on the outside.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 342 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 3/4/2008 1:02:24 AM
I dont know why maybe its hard wired into our heads. I agree its really is rude to stare but what constitutes as staring? Personally i've dealt with women who wore attire that so obviously flaunted their assets. As hard as I try keeping eye contact i'll admit my eyes have wandered down a little longer then they should have. Sometimes I feel so flustered about it I dont know where to look and sometimes I just dont care. Its not something I do as a habit though but it does happen. But if we men all walked around with enourmous bulges in our pants, i'm sure you'd stare a little. Now imagine that being close to eye level. We're all visual people now the question is have you ever had someone of the same sex stare there?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Recovering Deleted Mail messages Posted: 3/3/2008 2:59:08 PM
Hi is there any way to recover deleted messages? I was talking to someone but their acount was removed and there was something in our conversation that I wanted to check.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Help Missing Messages and Profile. Posted: 2/29/2008 1:16:16 PM
Yeah I had a feeling that might have happened. It really sucked becuz here was a girl very attractive whom shared the same kind of background as I did and was someone whom seemed to relate to me. I never willingly gave her information and everything she told me was eerily similar to me. I was a bit paranoid and skeptical but now i'm really just disappointed and sad. I always thought no one like her would be interested in chatting with me and then we where and we had things in common. It was too good to be true. Now its worrying me however that she seemed to know what to say to make me feel like we where kindred spirits. I guess i'll have moved on. Damn I had my hopes up.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Help Missing Messages and Profile. Posted: 2/29/2008 12:27:59 PM
Hi I've been chatting with someone here for awhile and it seemed as though we where getting along really well with us chatting back and fourth every day but this morning I went to check my inbox and all our messages to one another are missing. I tried searching her profile that doesnt come up to. Whats going on? Her username was Xnthecity was her account deleted? Was she banned? why? Was she a fake? becuz she seemed so genuine. Now i'm really feeling bad if she was and if she wasnt then i feel bad cuz ive probably lost a connection here. I also noticed alot of old messages come back.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

Compatibility vs Instant Chemistry? Posted: 2/26/2008 1:18:52 PM
My last relationship at the beginning there was alot of chemistry at the beginning. Its not so much I think someones hot physically but how they make me feel and the vice versa you pick up those signals and you cant keep your hands off each other. Its not like we dont think about compatibility becuz we do but in that moment its pure instinct in the moment. When it comes to wanting an actually wanting a serious relationship then thats when common interests and value come into factor. When we first meet someone we dont put our hopes into it becuz well if the chemistry isnt there then we know theres a chance a girl just wont be interested. Chemistry helps to make you anticipate and crave things to come. Now my last relationship we had both for awhile but then the Chemistry started to fade and she dumped me becuz it wasnt there for her. I was just a friend and now i'm nothing to her. Its like choosing food your attracted to the look and smell and then when you actually start eating it you start thinking hmm is this good for me? Maybe I shouldnt have gone for that double fudge brownie.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Y&R Posted: 9/9/2007 11:08:53 AM
Argh I accidently called my ex while trying to call someone else. I just woke up and I guess my brain had its wires crossed. Shit and after I made the big gesture of I dont want anyhting to do with you anymore.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/6/2007 1:49:50 AM
I've always been there for her through thick and thin as much as she allowed me. I told her that this was it for us. That I couldnt go through it anymore and she lost me and that I'm cutting the strings. When she looks back for me I wont be there.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/5/2007 12:01:15 PM
This is not helping, how did we end up here. ppl focus plz! Where trying to help me.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 100 (view)

Not All Men Are Pigs Posted: 9/5/2007 7:34:12 AM
Ok i'm a fairly nice guy or so ive been told by most girls. Now my friend he can be a bit of a jerk, sometimes offensive. He's had more luck in finding Woment interested in him. Now he's in a good relationship with a wife and kid. The same goes for some of my other friends; I get that Woment want someone to challenge/intrigue them. I just cant act that way though. Its not in me to act like a Pig does this mean i'm destined to be alone ?

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/5/2007 7:04:14 AM
I must say also that I havent been in many relationships at least not emotionally. I've always kept to myself unwilling to leave my heart vulnerable. She was my first not sexually but emotionally I left myself open to her and thats why its been so hard. I dont take feelings lightly. I read that I should forget her and to avoid her. Its hard for me to give up on anyone and to write them off. Im not the type of person to do that even though I should.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/5/2007 6:59:35 AM
Your right and I was trying like I said had someone else in mind at the time. I wanna find someone else. She had found someone else for a period after our breakup immediately after. I always suspected that was why we broke up. I'll admit that I felt jealous that there was another guy in the picture and that I had not found anyone myself. She broke up with him and then I began to worry whether she would want to get back together. I started to worry that I would be faced with that decison. To choose looking for someone else to love and maybe never finding them or choosing to mend our relationship and risk her breaking my heart again. I told myself I wouldnt but there I was. I didnt say lets get back together we acted like we never broke up. Then she suddenly says I made unwelcome advances, pushed my feelings on her. The moment that she lets her shields down and we share an intimate moment she pushes me away further.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/5/2007 6:03:49 AM
The other person was unavailable and I thought that with being interested in someone else I would be immune too old feelings. I was wrong. I knew it was over I had questioned whether I wanted to even get back together becuz I would always have that doubt in the back of my mind. I never had that doubt but now I would always suspect she was biding her time to finding someone else. I didnt want to go alone. I thought we could mend our friendship but That night I had sensed something different in her. We had fun and instead of looking down she seemed happy. I left after holding her in my arms, her head on my shoulder. Thats not the behaviour of someone who says it's over. I left that night confused knowing that I had someone else I was interested in at the time not her. Everything I did was only a response to her during that night. Do I risk having my heartbroken again? I goofed up big time. I took her to a dating enviroment meant for someone else. I acted accordingly to moments that where intimate. I dont deny this but at the same time though she denies it she made the same advances. I think we both just got caught up in the moment.

SeraphimShadow

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

I set myself for heartbreak Posted: 9/5/2007 5:10:40 AM
I was in a relationship that I thought was going well I was devoted to her and we never fought about anything until my Ex dropped the bomb that she suddenly lost interest in me, that she held no romantic feelings and that she wanted to end it. I was shocked and heartbroken, it took me a long while to get over this. She said that she wanted to remain friends. I told her I wanted to see her make a genuine effort. I was unhappy because she avoided me or acted standoffish each time we spent time together as friends. We finally mended our relationship recently or at least I thought we did. Recently I took her out to the PNE, she had been stressed out and seemed unhappy. I had actually had someone else in mind to take but decided to make this friendly gesture becuz i didnt want to go alone. We ate junk food, enjoyed the shows, We finally started talking to each other like how we used to before our breakup. The wall she held up between us was down. I think old feelings started to resurface. I held her hand, I hugged her longingly with her head on my shoulder and I sensed contentment. but I guess I was wrong becuz aftwards she began to avoid me. I asked her why and she said I had made unwelcome advances towards her. that I had been pushing my feelings on her and that she said she had made it clear that she was not attracted or interested. It was never my intention to make advances or to get back together but those feelings resurfaced. I only responded to her and the moment. If I had sensed her wanting to withdrawal I would have backed off instead I didnt get any sense of that. I was worried where this may have gone. I wasnt sure If i wanted to go down this road. again. I havent been in a serious relationship since her. She had. I was hoping to find someone else but didnt. I wasnt sure if I wanted to go back to our relationship becuz i'd always have that doubt in my mind that I never had b4. Though it had that sense of familiarity to it. She wrote emphatically that she didnt want us to be together yet in that moment I sensed something else. I just wanted to share this and was hoping I could get prespective.

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