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ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

unfair judge? Posted: 7/29/2009 2:59:08 AM
There are places that will facilitate the exchange of the children. They will also keep a record of what is going on and who is responsible for him not exercising his access rights. They can act as an objective third party the next time you need to go to court. It's worth checking out.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Time for a showdown with the negative ones... Posted: 7/19/2009 6:00:13 AM
I usually either ignore those people or just sit back and watch the train wreck. They're just people who need to tear others down in order to feel better about themselves. What other purpose can insulting single parents serve? I agree with the OP. There are more appropriate forums for them to pursue their political / social agendas.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 78 (view)

when do you tell people you have kids? Posted: 5/2/2009 11:55:37 AM
I'm right up front with it. If he does not want to date someone with children, I'd rather know about it right away so I don't waste my time.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Revenue Canada University Costs Posted: 3/1/2009 12:47:33 PM
Relax. He needs to get a second opinion. I checked the ITA. Non-custodial parents are able to have unused tuition/education tax credits transferred to them. They can also be transferred to spouses and grandparents. It makes sense when you think about it since many children leave the parental nest when attending post-secondary education and therefore, are on their own and not in the custody of either parent.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

New Aquarium Posted: 2/20/2009 3:31:45 PM
Hi. From what you shared, it sounds like you may have made a newbie mistake already. You didn't cycle the tank. I made the same mistake when I first started out. It means that you are going to have to do frequent water changes until it is cycled. You can get a test kit to test the water and see how the cycle is progressing. Whatever you do, please do not get any more fish yet. The tank needs to be cycled and I don't recall you mentioning what kind of fish you got. A 10 gallon is actually quite small and most fish won't do very well in it over the long haul. There are fish that can do well in them though. It depends on the species. You can get more information and learn about cycling here http://www.aquariacentral.com/ I highly recommend that you check out this site. There is tonnes of info there and they even have a newbie section in the forums for people just starting out. I wish you the best of luck. Keeping fish is a very relaxing hobby.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Heelies Posted: 8/9/2008 12:11:20 PM
^^^Not just those reasons, but for safety / insurance reasons as well. Most kids who wear those things don't wear proper safety gear. That combination has been leading to injuries.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 35 (view)

Single guys: Good service at restaurants while alone? Posted: 7/13/2008 5:37:56 PM
When I go out to eat, I just expect them to take my order, bring me my food, keep my coffee cup full and be polite. To me, that is good service. Expecting the wait staff to talk me up or flirt with me is outrageous. They are far too busy!!!

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 312 (view)

Men dating single mothers Posted: 6/17/2008 3:09:19 AM
Although I empathize with childless men/women not wanting to take on an instant family, I must take offense to the emphasis that certain individuals keep placing on only contributing to their own offspring and not to the offspring of another man/woman. I spent 8 years raising my stepkids. Although my relationship with my ex was a degrading experience, if I had the opportunity to go back in time and decide whether I want to do it again, I would go through it again for my stepkids. There is more than genetics that make a child yours. If you raise a child as if they were your own, they become yours. I look at my stepkids and even though there is no blood link, I still see lots of myself in them. I'd be the first to admit that raising stepchildren has its challenges, but it also has its rewards and its perks too.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Freedom without Responsibility Posted: 5/9/2008 12:24:30 PM
After all, the complainers are saying the kids born to these people should suffer for the mistakes the kid's parents made. I agree entirely. I have no problem holding an adult responsible for their mistakes, but I can never turn my back on a needy child just because their parents made some bad decisions. Even with the adults, I could not just let them starve to death in the streets even if they made some horendous decisions. It just doesn't seem right to me.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Judging me by the shoes I'm wearing??? Posted: 4/30/2008 3:58:21 AM
I don't even notice a man's shoes unless they are inappropriate for the occasion or in very bad shape.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 250 (view)

polygamist compound in texas - 200 people removed Posted: 4/29/2008 2:05:54 PM
The difference here being that the underage pregnant girls you speak of actually had the luxury of making their own choices, their dear mothers didn't give them to these men under the pretense of everyone going to a better level of heaven if they complied. That's it exactly. If an adult woman who is aware of other choices and capable of surviving on her own decides to share a man with other women, it's one thing. If a teenage girl who was given none to minimal education, was never exposed to other ways of thinking, knows nothing else and is pretty much told that she will go to hell if she doesn't cooperate is is given in marriage to a man old enough to be her father or grandfather, it's something else entirely. What I find disturbing is that there are posters who don't see anything wrong with this...

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 2267 (view)

Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? Posted: 4/29/2008 8:37:45 AM
I really don't care about why some single men do not like single mothers. Everyone has their own preferences and I understand that some may not be ready for life with children. That's ok. As far as I'm concerned, there are plenty of men who like single mothers. What I do have an issue with are the people who feel that they must bash single mothers. Every single mother is different. Just like there are some childless people who are irresponsible, use others, etc., there are some single mothers who do the same. However, IMHO, they are in the minority. Blaming a large group of people for the actions of a few is foolish. I've had bad experiences with men who don't have children. Does that mean that all childless men are bad? No, it doesn't!!! The same thing goes for single mothers and any other group of people.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

is it cruel? Posted: 4/29/2008 8:21:38 AM
Every generation thinks its the end of the world- that it can't get any worse but you know what? I would rather be alive in THIS world then not be. This about sums up how I feel too. I'm sure that previous generations looked at the world and wondered if it would be right to bring a child into it. What some people seem to forget about the state of the world today is that it was always like that in one way or other. There was always war, murder, people behaving badly, etc. There is nothing new about that. Personally, even though my life hardly qualified as 'easy', I am still grateful that my parents brought me into this world, as imperfect as it may be. IMHO Life is not supposed to be 'easy'. It's all the challenges that the world throws at us that makes us better people.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 309 (view)

Marriage, men are stupid for entering into this(proof) Posted: 4/29/2008 7:52:42 AM
There are some really horrible things said in this Thread and I am confused as to why people would come onto a dating site to give the opposite sex a hard time. I can't understand why people do this either. They are literally shooting themselves in the foot. Do people honestly think that running down the opposite sex is going to attract a member of the opposite sex?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Father Raising Daughter Alone, Wife on Drugs Posted: 4/29/2007 1:31:09 PM
I tell my daughter that her father has issues that he needs to deal with. Hang in there :)

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 98 (view)

pregnant and drinking Posted: 4/27/2007 4:52:01 AM
The doctors don't know how much alcohol is safe, so the recommendation is to abstain from alcohol during pregnancy. I had no problem doing that. Better safe than sorry. Just because someone else was able to enjoy a drink or two with no noticeable effects on the baby doesn't mean that you'll be lucky too. Why take chances?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 227 (view)

DQ soft-serve Posted: 4/26/2007 3:45:32 AM
Has anyone pointed out that the number of teenage pregnancies has been decreasing?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 209 (view)

I fully understand NO, you dont seem to! Posted: 4/25/2007 2:54:26 AM
(sigh) I really hate it when people turn everything into a men vs. women arguement. Everyone's situation is different. To paint every member of a gender with the same brush is ridiculous. I was in a very bad relationship for a number of years where I was treated so badly that when people ask me "what did he do to you?", I have to respond "What didn't he do to me?". That being said, I'm the first one to admit that most men are decent and nothing like my ex. I just had one of the bad ones. Don't let one (or two, or three, depending on how quick you are to learn what to avoid in a mate) sour you against a whole gender. You'll be missing out on a lot of great people and sending out major red flags for anyone who might want to get into a relationship with you.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 150 (view)

single minded people on single mothers Posted: 4/20/2007 4:45:27 AM
I'd much rather my daughter grow up to be a single parent than an ignorant individual with a hate-filled heart. Being a single mother is hard work, but it's also very rewarding. DQ: Parenting is one of those things that you truly will never understand until you've spent some time in the trenches. Life has a way of throwing curveballs. All the planning in the world isn't going to protect you from those curveballs. You're quite young, so your ignorance about life as a single parent can be excused, but your venomous outlook on single parents suggests that you have some personal issues that you aren't speaking about.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Dealing with visitation? Posted: 3/28/2007 3:11:58 AM
I would just like to add another point of view to this discussion. My daughter is a major mommy-suck. She has been since the day she was born. Whenever she goes for an overnight visit, she always lays a major guilt trip on me about being seperated from me and often will ask for me at whomever's house she is sleeping over at (grandma, aunt, friend, etc.) But, she almost always ends up having a good time. She used to be a lot worse, but has gotten better and often will comment that she misses her Grandma, aunt, friend, etc. when she is at home. My advice to you is to not take it personally. Go slow with her. The seperation probably left her feeling a bit insecure but with understanding and patience, she will get better. When the two of you are together, just concentrate on having a good time with her and pretty soon, she will look forward to her visits with you and probably drive you ex nuts with "when do I get to go over to Daddy's again? I miss him" Hang in there :)

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Babies as a fashion statement for young girls Posted: 3/3/2007 8:10:19 AM
I agree Funkytown. Young, single mothers have it tough enough without having to deal with the negativity of others.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Babies as a fashion statement for young girls Posted: 3/3/2007 7:07:42 AM
^^^You're right, Nevaeh. Many of those marriages that occurred when the couple was very young were to disguise unplanned pregnancies. Unplanned pregnancies were common back then too, just more likely to be swept under the rug. The difference today is that we're more open about it and more accepting and supportive of single parents than we were a generation ago.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

it take two to make the baby Posted: 3/3/2007 6:58:59 AM
Why is everyone judging this girl on her past mistakes? I'm sure that she already realizes that this loser is poor father material. Hindsight is always 20-20. I'm sure that now that she has to cope with all of the challenges of raising a child by herself at such a young age, she's going to think twice about having another child with another loser. That isn't the issue here. She wants advice on what to do NOW and in the FUTURE. She can't unring a bell and jumping down her throat about it isn't going to accomplish anything. The fact is that there is a new baby and that BOTH of his parents need to take responsibility for him. It sounds like she is taking responsibility but her ex isn't. Her ex SHOULD be taking responsibility for their child and if he chooses not to, she should go after him in court to at least make him contribute financially, so that she doesn't have to carry the entire responsibility by herself. What is wrong with that? OP: Do the best that you can and hang in there. Don't let negative people bring you down. Do what is best for you and your child. It's a tough road but the rewards for toughing it out are tremendous

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Dont know what to do Posted: 3/1/2007 4:29:35 AM
child support and visitation are considered two different issues in the eyes of the court. Go after him for child support, but speak to a lawyer about the possibility of supervised access.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 171 (view)

Gov't web site for dd parents Posted: 2/25/2007 6:41:55 AM
Yes, they are based on income. When your income decreases, you need to go back to court to have it lowered. The problem lies with the time it takes to have it heard by a judge and sorting out the people who genuinely, are down on there luck versus those who are intentionally underemployed in order to get out of paying support.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 110 (view)

Anyone care to explain this one? Posted: 2/25/2007 5:46:05 AM
I prefer coffee for first dates too. There is no pressure. If it doesn't work out, you're just out the cost of a cup of coffee. If sparks fly, you can always go do something else. Re: the Nasty grams I get them too. I recently received one who commented that he was liking my profile until he read that I don't want pot smokers. Why waste your time emailing me about that? If my profile suggests to you that we won't be right for eachother, hit the back button and keep searching.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 169 (view)

Gov't web site for dd parents Posted: 2/25/2007 5:16:33 AM
Hummer: You made some good points but I would like to point out that this site was created to locate deadbeat parents, not to remind them that they need to pay. As you pointed out, they should already know that!

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

For the Guys Dating Us single Mums Posted: 2/24/2007 5:37:16 AM
^^^I couldn't have said it better myself. I prefer single fathers over their childless counterparts for the simple reason that single fathers understand what being a parent is all about.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 438 (view)

single parents smoking pot Posted: 2/18/2007 7:52:16 AM
^^^I know lots of people that see nothing wrong with smoking pot in front of their children. Just one of the many things that I've seen that have contributed to my feelings about pot.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 472 (view)

Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove? Posted: 2/15/2007 5:20:53 AM
The only problem I have with women breastfeeding their child in public is that it brings back bitter-sweet memories of me breastfeeding my little girl. (sniff) They grow up so fast.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 177 (view)

Arrears... Yes Or No Posted: 2/9/2007 10:56:58 AM
LOL Sorry. I sometimes forget that a very large percentage of POFers are from the U.S. Greetings from your northern neighbour

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 173 (view)

Arrears... Yes Or No Posted: 2/9/2007 10:49:24 AM
According to this article, about one third of NCP's are either not paying or pay very little. http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/mcss/english/news/backgrounders/070207A.htm

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 417 (view)

single parents smoking pot Posted: 2/9/2007 4:12:26 AM
I've been there, done that too and I had to learn some pretty hard lessons. I've personally witnessed too much of the damage pot does to believe that it's a harmless drug.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 134 (view)

Arrears... Yes Or No Posted: 2/8/2007 5:38:34 AM
My ex didn't even bother showing up for court

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Did I say something wrong? Posted: 2/6/2007 5:16:03 AM
I've run into the same thing. That's why I prefer single fathers. They have a better understanding of what being a single parent means. That's not to say that their childless counterparts don't, but parenting is one of those things that you can't truly understand until you've spent some time in the trenches.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Maturnal Instinct Posted: 2/6/2007 4:07:00 AM
Every situation is different. Some women are great mothers and it's in the best interests of the child for them to with her. Other women are also great mothers, but because of various reasons, it's in the best interests of the child for the the child to be with their father. Some women shouldn't be allowed near children. Those children should definately be with their fathers unless their fathers are just like their mothers. Every situation is different. It depends on a number of different factors. What works in one case may not work in another case.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 86 (view)

Gov't web site for dd parents Posted: 1/31/2007 5:05:58 AM
That's a pretty strong statement since you don't know much about my finances except what little I told you. Judging from the information that you provided, our situations are quite different. I can think of a dozen things that I provide for my daughter that you didn't list. I fail to see how I am contributing to our financial hardship. I work full time. I'm just starting out, so it's entry level wages for me. It's not like I wear designer clothes or I'm vacationing in the bahamas. I take the bus whereever I go. I don't smoke or do drugs. Before you start jumping to conclusions about people, maybe you should find out more about the person's situation. And, yes, I should point the finger at the NCP. He is supposed to pay support to help with the costs of raising out daughter. When he doesn't pay, it creates hardship. Why should he be excused from his responsibilities to her?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 84 (view)

Gov't web site for dd parents Posted: 1/31/2007 4:07:43 AM
I find it rather interesting (and disturbing) that so much discussion is centered on the financial sacrifices of the NCP who is ordered to pay support and very little is said about the hardships of CPs whose ex is in arrears. My ex was ordered to pay child support that represents approximately 10% of his gross income and spousal support while I went back to school. He is currently just under 20 000 in arrears. Even though, I graduated with straight A's and now work full time, I'm still struggling to provide for our daughter and I can guarantee that I spend considerably more on her care than he does. It's his child too. Why is it okay in the eyes of some here for him to duck his responsibilities to her? What about the hardships and sacrifices that she must face because her father wants to make life difficult for me and doesn't care how it affects her? Why isn't more being said in this thread about how deadbeat parents are hurting the kids that they claim to love?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

men who want a pat on the back for doing their job Posted: 12/19/2006 12:53:25 PM
I tend to agree with the OP and this goes for all parents; mothers and fathers. Getting the occasional pat on the back is ok, but I have seen some parents who expect it all of the time for doing exactly what they should be doing; being a parent. When you have children, you have obligations and responsibilities. That's it. You fulfill your obligations and responsibilities because it is the right thing to do and because it's just part of being a parent, not for the praise. I certainly don't get praise for all the sacrifices I make in order to provide for my daughter, nor do I expect it. It actually throws me off a bit when people start praising me because in my eyes, I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

TV's in kids room Posted: 12/17/2006 11:59:23 AM
I won't let my daughter have a tv in her room. It would be too difficult to monitor and limit her television watching. We have one tv. It's in the living room where I have complete control over what she watches, how much she watches and whether the tv gets turned on at all.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

general comments/concerns... Posted: 12/16/2006 4:03:44 AM
I agree with sweet. You don't want this to turn into a habit. Life is stressful. Teach her how to cope with that.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

419 scam Posted: 12/10/2006 6:16:39 AM
I get those all the time. I don't even read them. I just delete them.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

single parent's worse nightmare Posted: 12/10/2006 4:19:51 AM
Oooh God!!!! My heart goes out to you. I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to my little girl. I would probably just crawl into a hole and die! Hang in there. I hope that he ends up in prison for the rest of his life!

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

Justice for the good Fathers!!! Posted: 12/9/2006 2:21:46 PM
Every situation is different. Whether the CP is the father or the mother, they should be given as much help as possible from the NCP. I have little sympathy for NCPs who shirk their financial responsibilities in regards to their children.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

Justice for the good Fathers!!! Posted: 12/9/2006 11:49:37 AM
I must agree with everything that Brandi has said. I just have one question for Brandi though... Are you sure that we don't have the same ex?

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

Justice for the good Fathers!!! Posted: 12/8/2006 3:40:07 AM
The problem with the receipt idea is that it doesn't take into account the opportunity costs. CP's often have to pass on higher paying jobs because of child related responsibilities. I know that I've had to.

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

spending amounts for xmas Posted: 12/7/2006 12:29:27 PM
It's just my daughter and I and I love christmas so, I spend quite a bit on her. So far, I would have to say the $500 dollar range...

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

What's Your Worst Pet Peeve About Winter? Posted: 12/7/2006 5:35:56 AM
snow! If the snow showed up on Christmas Eve and left on Boxing Day, not to return again until the same time next year, I'll be one happy camper

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

PS3 system sales Posted: 11/27/2006 4:09:57 AM
Hi KitKat Just wanted to update you. I just got finished ordering my wii from toys r' us. It should be arriving within a week. Doing the happy dance here. They're sold out everywhere!!! I was beginning to get worried that I may not get one in time for christmas! I'm soooo excited right now even though I won't be able to open it until christmas morning

ontario_woman

Joined: 4/3/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Ummm...Scary Santas BEWARE PARENTS Posted: 11/21/2006 6:32:47 PM
While it's important to be cautious, I'm not about to start to panic over a rumour. There are always going to be a few bad apples, but I'm not about to raise my daughter in fear because of them. I just practice some common sense and make sure she understands that she has the right to say 'no' if an adult is doing something that makes her uncomfortable and that she can talk to me about it.

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