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justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

you just know Posted: 11/4/2009 5:40:07 PM
I've "known" many times. And been wrong most times :-P So, I don't get this at all, never have. I think sometimes you have an instant connection with someone. But you don't "know" a damn thing until much later, after you "know" them.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 75 (view)

Successful Coffee Dates? Posted: 11/3/2009 10:54:18 AM
Hm. My last date suggested dinner, I suggested coffee instead. It lasted 2 hours. There's a dinner date in the works for the 2nd date. Works fine for me. I think some people just tend to over-think these things.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

What's the RIGHT answer? Posted: 10/30/2009 12:27:21 PM
Here's how it works: 1. See a profile that looks interesting. 2. Wonder what she means by saying "X." 3. Ask her. Yup. Pretty simple. In my case, it means I'm done with young children. My kids are grown and gone, it's time for MY fun. I wouldn't mind someone with older teens, maybe, but younger ones, probably not.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Does online dating make your life easier? Posted: 10/30/2009 12:21:13 PM
Advantage - you have the opportunity to connect with much more people than you will encounter in your day to day life. Disadvantage - of all of those much more people, the majority of them aren't people you would want to encounter in your day to day life. This sums it up quite nicely, I think. Does it make my life "easier?" I'm not sure I even understand the question. Online dating doesn't really affect "my life" at all. It does offer me a few more opportunities for entertainment that I wouldn't otherwise have in my day to day life. Entertainment to include reading the forums, rolling my eyes at some of the emails I get, and the positive of the occasional new friends I make. It's just another dating option I keep open. I keep my expectations low, and keep living my life offline as I always do.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

He's just not that interested Posted: 10/29/2009 12:56:51 PM
Wow, I can't believe how many people missed the entire point of the OP's post. I get it. Sometimes things don't work out, and there is no reason. Or, the reason really just doesn't' matter in the grand scheme of things. Don't sweat it. Move on.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Brown eyed Men? Posted: 10/22/2009 8:44:18 AM
Hmm when I saw the title of this thread, I was sure it was about men that were full of crap. But, to turn down a guy for the actual color of his eyes, now that's a brand new one for me. Ridiculous.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

How this? Posted: 10/21/2009 12:41:19 PM
OK, I had to post because I recognize where you were in your main profile pic ;-) Fun times, I was there too (probably in another location). Howdy neighbor. Good profile overall, good sense of humor. It does read a bit long ... see if you can pare it down a bit. I think most people stop reading if it's too long.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Positive Negative Posted: 10/20/2009 5:26:13 PM
Umm hoping they will "grow into what I want" is the mistake I used to make when I was younger. I know better now. Falling in love with someone's potential .. instead of who they are.. is a set up for disaster. BTDT. Weighing the positives and negatives is part of the process of getting to know someone and figuring out whether you want to continue seeing them, or if there is a future. There are negatives I can live with, and negatives I can't. But it is what it is. I don't hope someone will change, or grow .. not any more.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Sarcasm: Bad vs. Good Posted: 10/7/2009 10:17:02 AM
Using it to appease those that continually try to directly attack and offend me is not where I choose to use it. Now see, I think that's exactly where it's needed... responding to attackers with humor has always worked well for me in duffusing situations, and letting them know just how little their criticism means to me :-)

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

The soft blow off, how do you handle it? Posted: 10/7/2009 10:12:52 AM
Even if she was telling the truth, it's an indicator of where a potential relationship lies amongst her many priorities. If she can't even find or make time to talk on the phone for a month, she's not likely to have time for dating anyway. Not saying that is wrong or right, it just is. Best to move on, chalk it up to another odd dating story for the "book."

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

The soft blow off, how do you handle it? Posted: 10/6/2009 12:14:50 PM
November? I can see not being able to get together until November because she's busy, but to not even talk until then? Silly. Could be a sign of things to come, but if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt... How about a simple response of, "sure, ball's in your court." Don't contact her again. Keep your options open.. but don't sit around waiting for your inbox to ring.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Advice Posted: 10/6/2009 12:09:57 PM
No, but why did he tell you he went to her for advice? Should have kept his mouth shut

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Sarcasm: Bad vs. Good Posted: 10/6/2009 12:06:25 PM
Sarcasm, in the right context, is awesome. It's tough to read in emails/chatrooms/message boards, however. That's what "lol" and emoticons are for :-)

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

what is your greatest dating fears? Posted: 9/18/2009 6:56:34 AM
Hmm "fear" is a strong word. Honestly not much comes to mind. I am cautious, and sometimes skeptical, of certain types of people. I watch for red flags of alcoholism, anger, dishonesty or irresponsibility. I try to avoid those types of people, and certainly don't want to enter into relationships with them. But being afraid of those things? Not really. I've survived bad dates and bad relationships before. Sure I'd prefer not to go through that again, and pray I don't, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

How would you define Posted: 9/18/2009 6:38:14 AM
Who cares if someone is needy, needy is easy to put up with if you're emotionally generous. Show them a little extra love and they'll shutup for a while. Easy? lol. Actually, it's more like, show them a little "extra love" and they'll want more and more and more. It's never enough with emotionally high maintenance people. I'd rather put up with a needy woman than some spoiled brat woman with a princess complex that thinks she's entitled to things just because she's attractive. I'd rather not put up with either type [of guy], personally :)

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail? Posted: 9/17/2009 11:29:03 AM
I'm one that finds it odd to be "favorited" without any other contact. I tend to delete myself from their list if they do nothing more than that, especially if their profile doesn't interest me.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Why Its Hard Dating Posted: 9/17/2009 11:25:52 AM
Wow. Negativity, generalizations about either gender... both are a huge turn-off for me. You get what you give.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Texting over Calling or Both?? Posted: 9/17/2009 11:16:26 AM
I don't mind texts, except that I can't hold an entire conversation through them. For me, they're for quick question/response exchanges. I agree that after a date, a "I had a great time" text is a nice thing to receive :) On the other hand, I don't like talking on the phone much any more, either; not for long conversations, anyway. I prefer in-person over texting AND calling. And then, there's Facebook..... (grin) ... but that's only for people I already know well.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

What would you have done? Posted: 9/17/2009 11:02:21 AM
There is a type of epilepsy that involves "jerks" of hands etc., they're called myoclonic jerks. My daughter has this form of epilepsy .. and these episodes mostly happen in the morning. Lack of sleep and alcohol use lowers the seizure threshhold, and increases the likelihood of the myoclonic episodes. Just FYI. That being said, this guy is still a jerk (no pun intended?). Sounds like he is on a self-pity trip.. yet also self-defeating by staying out late and planning a morning date. Add the rudeness to the waitress (embarrassed or not, that was rude), and he's got issues. You handled it well. Chalk it up as one for your weird date stories book, and move on :)

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Internet vs. real life Posted: 9/11/2009 10:53:34 AM
I definitely think connections are easier in real life. POF and other internet dating sites are just a way of expanding your options for meeting people. I do think people are more dismissive when reading ads. I've had better success meeting guys and getting dates in person, than I have online. Part of that I chalk up to (I think) looking better in person than in my pictures ... combined with my sparkling real life personality :-D From the other side of the fence on the OP's story ..... over the years, there are a few guys I've known in person, who I later saw on POF or other sites. I read their profiles and thought, "huh, that's funny, that reads nothing like the Joe that I know." Go figure.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me? Posted: 9/1/2009 10:21:11 AM
This happened to me again just recently, and I don't get it. He initiated the contact, I replied. He replies back and provides his phone #. I reply saying I'd prefer to exchange a couple more emails before calling, and ask him some open-ended questions to continue the conversation. He replies back with one line, period. Guess he was taken aback that I wasn't ready to call yet. I don't plan to continue the correspondence.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Childish Friends Posted: 9/1/2009 10:16:05 AM
I love Facebook. I've reconnected with tons of people via the site, and I only add people I actually know. But, I don't feel anything is "expected" of me there. I ignore most of the applications and stick to sharing pictures and links, and posting inane status updates. If someone I've added to my friends list gets dramatic with their own posts (it happens occasionally), there are options to ignore their posts, or delete them as a friend. No skin off my back. No true friend has been bothered by this, so far. If they are, they're not someone I want to be friends with, anyway.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

How would you define Posted: 8/26/2009 12:51:26 PM
Interesting replies on this thread. When I think "high maintenance," nothing material comes to mind.. but emotional sure does. And yes, there are plenty of guys that are high maintenance. To me neediness equates with high maintenance. Needing constant reassurance that they're pretty/good looking or that you love them, texts/emails/phonecalls several times a day (and freaking out if, God forbid, you are busy and don't answer or reply right away), unable to make decisions on their own, needing to discuss every single problem they have ad nauseum, always have to have things their way or they pout .. yada yada yada. If a relationship takes so much "maintenance" that it drains you emotionally and limits your ability to be an indvidiual? That's pretty "high maintenance" in my book.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Differences between American and Colombian Women Posted: 6/26/2009 11:22:31 AM
12 dates in three weeks?! Good grief man. How did you keep their names straight?

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Conflicting interests Posted: 6/26/2009 11:19:57 AM
"compatible differences" ... I like that term. I'd like a balance of both, personally. If he dislikes football, live rock bands, and socializing with my friends, then I'd be faced with the choice of leaving him behind when I enjoy those things, and that's no fun (btdt). I'd much rather have a "partner in crime" for that stuff. On the other hand, we don't need to do everything together ... and I think it's healthy to have separate interests/ hobbies too. I think it's a matter of how important certain intersts are to you. If you hike or travel frequently, why would you date someone whose idea of visiting the great outdoors was watching the Discovery or Travel Channel?

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Some people just can't take criticism Posted: 6/25/2009 8:10:17 AM
I even tried Googling "an ish side" but... I got nothin. Thanks for sharing this OP ... it gave me a chuckle this mornin!

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Dating cliches Posted: 6/23/2009 8:11:34 PM
The walks on the beach get to me too. Mostly because I see this from people who live nowhere near a beach.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Am I really as old as they are?? Posted: 6/23/2009 10:49:09 AM
Do you find yourself looking at people your age and seeing someone way too old to be your age? Yup. Although it's mostly that they seem to act too old for me... :-P I always say, I'm too YOUNG for my age!

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Past, Present, Future... Posted: 6/22/2009 3:23:06 PM
If there's a sting, I'd have to agree that you might not be over the last one yet. I am a bit confused about "means to an end," too... did you mean to say something like, "is this just part of the process?" If that's what you meant, I still go back to my first answer. Not ready.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Can I get some help? Posted: 6/22/2009 3:16:14 PM
You profile is all about you, and nothing about what you're looking for... that was my initial thought.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

He's Just Not that Into You Question Posted: 6/22/2009 3:05:00 PM
I didn't think anyone took that book too seriously... just like they don't take S&TC seriously.... And, I KNOW I don't take Oprah too seriously.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Life Without Rules, Laws, Red Flags, Labels et al Posted: 6/22/2009 1:08:31 PM
For me, it's about having learned what does and doesn't work for me. The "red flags" I pay attention to are specific to me, not necessarily "rules" for all those out there dating. It's part of becoming a healthier person... learning from your mistakes... etc. etc. Trial and error :-) I think the difference is, pre-internet and message boards, people TALKED about those things, instead of posting about them.. and they talked with a smaller group of people, instead of having 100s of people read and respond on a public forum.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Did she blow me off? Posted: 6/22/2009 1:02:44 PM
Just how often did you call her? I'm curious. Every day? A couple times a day? I think it's pretty common for people to click on a first date, and then subsequent conversations lead to knowing more about each other, and something just "unclicks." I'd back off, maybe call her again in a couple weeks and see if she wants to get together, and if she doesn't, let it go.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Three questions that tell me a lot...very quickly... Posted: 6/22/2009 12:56:00 PM
And if she has any substance abuses. I have to disagree with that one. An active substance abuser isn't likely to answer this truthfully (I've always wondered about the "do you do drugs" questionon POF.. does anyone ever say YES?!) Not much point in ASKING. Whether or not they have an addiction problem is best learned by observation, IMO. I like the question about reasons your last relationship broke up. It's a great way to see if there is still some anger there. As for the "how you moved on" (paraphrased) questions, I think that can be learned by observation, as well .. although I can also see that coming up in general conversation. I don't really have any set questions ... I'm more of an observer/listener in "normal" conversations about one's life. I tend to be wary of anger, victim mentality, and negativity. Actions speak louder than words, in many cases....

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

POF babysitter Posted: 6/22/2009 12:42:15 PM
Wow. Good riddance. I don't fault you for not saying NO, or calling someone, I get the feeling it all happened so fast you were probably pretty much dumbfounded and shocked that you were even asked (were probably still in shock from her showing UP with the kid!). It's pretty easy to think of the things you SHOULD have said and done, after the fact... in the reality of the moment, we don't always think that qickly. Chalk this one up to a great dating story and move on. I think it's pretty rare!

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

He's Just Not that Into You Question Posted: 6/20/2009 2:20:48 PM
Umm bugs? The book "He's Just Not That Into You" waas written by a MAN ;-)

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

He's Just Not that Into You Question Posted: 6/19/2009 12:16:25 PM
Haven't seen the movie, but did read the book years back. I remember thinking how I knew a LOT of women like the ones in the book. It's mostly common sense stuff, IMO. It's a catch-phrase, yeah, but it's a useful one at times. I think it's a very simple way of saying, "stop overanalyzing every little thing and get on with your life." Sometimes, there is no "reason." I also think it applies to both men AND women. BTW, the phrase and book were inspired by a Sex in the City episode...

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Age is but a number...really? Posted: 6/18/2009 9:08:36 AM
Age is just a number.. unless it's a really low or high number in comparison to mine lol :o) . I used to say, I wouldn't date men closer in age to my kids than to me! These days it has a lot to do with common interests. My kids are gone, I have an empty nest, and am not looking to date anyone who still has young kids, or wants kids. I like the freedom I have to do things when I want to do them. That tends to eliminate a lot of people right around my age; seems like most people in their 40's still have kids at home. Yet when it comes to men older than I am, who might also have empty nests, I find we don't have many common interests. Go too young, and they want kids of their own. Finding some in between is a challenge :-) Bottom line is, the age isn't always the factor... it's where they are in life/what they want compared to what I want. The friends I "hang out with" these days tend to be in their 30s, with no kids. I'm not really dating ... but that's ok, really.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Which date left you laughing Posted: 6/17/2009 4:50:17 PM
The guy that picked me up for a movie, and got a flat tire on the way there. He had no spare, and no AAA. I offered to call my then 18 year old daughter to pick us up, and he insisted on calling his parents. They picked us up (both of them, mind you), dropped me off at my house, all the while his mother was quizzing me from the front seat. Did I mention we were in our late 30s??

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

My Dating Experience continued I still miss him sooo bad!!! Posted: 6/17/2009 4:34:17 PM
Um yeah. When I see a long run-on paragraph, I can't even bring myself to read past the first line... sorry.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Cell Phone Addiction Posted: 6/17/2009 1:40:48 PM
I think it's not just an addiction, it's plain rudeness. Especially in a movie theater? Even if she weren't on a date... if she'd been sitting next to me in a movie theater, I'd have asked her to turn off her phone or leave.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Changing a person v. Give and Take Posted: 6/16/2009 10:17:27 AM
I agree that it depends on how open someone is to different experiences. I tend to skip the ones who are are stuck in ruts over food and music, as well ... such inflexibility inevitably shows up in other parts of their personality and lifestyle. In otherwords, It's the attitude they have about change... not the change itself.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

My fiance continually leaves me High and Dry Posted: 6/16/2009 10:04:09 AM
Like I've said before, I don't use this site as a dating site. If it were specified to be a dating site, there wouldn't be options for social networking. Funny, see that headline, right up there at the top? It says, "Free Online Dating" How is this not a dating site? And why on earth would a person sign up on such a site if they weren't looking for a date? If you want social networking, I would think you'd choose MySpace or Facebook. Coming here to date and changing your mind and sticking around, I can see. Happens all the t ime. But coming here and registering with no intent of dating at all? Makes no sense. Unless you have ulterior motives.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

The One? Posted: 6/16/2009 9:57:40 AM
I don't necessarily believe in "The One," either. I think people set themselves up for disappointment if they approach dating this way. I mean, how many of us have thought someone was "The One," and been dead wrong?! That being said, I know couples that really do seem to be very right for each other, so for them, perhaps the concept works. Somehow, though, I doubt they thought of the the relationship that way... it just sort of fell into place naturally.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Forcing their opinions onto you Posted: 6/15/2009 9:34:37 AM
Is there any way to get a person to realise how this sort of treatment is not very nice and that they really ought to stop it Yes. TELL THEM.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

couple of emails then poof. Posted: 6/9/2009 6:28:24 PM
I think it's pretty simple.. they're just not that into you. Why read more into it than that?

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

My first actual online meet Posted: 5/30/2009 7:02:40 AM
OK, I just have to comment on this response: Found someone else, but isn't mean enough to tell you off because you have a mutual friend C) Isn't mean enough to tell you off because you have a mutual friend Are you sure you didn't mean MAN, not MEAN?! Admitting these things is the right thing to do, not the "mean" thing to do. Although I'd go with "telling," not "telling off." Anyway, yeah, check this one off to experience and move on

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

How many of you still hit up the bars regularly? Posted: 5/28/2009 1:48:32 PM
My friends (men and women) and I go to bars... we meet for happy hours, or to go see a live band. I'm not a big fan of dance clubs or meat markets.. I like the smaller, friendlier neighborhood places. Going those places with my friends is actually one of my favorite things to do . I don't go there to meet potential dates, I go there to enjoy myself with people that are fun. Is that "the bar scene?" I think of it more as part of my "friend scene."

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Done with Internet Dating..... Posted: 5/28/2009 1:44:56 PM
I think it's a matter of how much importance you put on all this. Keeping perspective is key. As I've said before, this is just another door I keep open. It's not the be all and end all of my life. In fact, in the whole scheme of things, POF and meeting people off the internet is a pretty small "blip" on my radar screen. I'm happy with my life, whether or not I find a date or a relationship here (or anywhere else). I'm happy, no matter how miserable or manipulative other people might be. That's their issue, not mine.

justme1201

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

boomers and gender role resentments. Posted: 5/27/2009 8:51:27 AM
So now we have a whole generation, entering our middle age or senior years, with a whole lot of discomfort and resentment, both ways. Wow. That's a pretty sad statement. I for one have no discomfort or resentment about any of the things you've discussed in your post. We all choose our paths, and should be responsible for those choices. We can chose to be happy or unhappy about our lives. I don't think the "women's movement" has changed my attitude or relationships one way or the other.. I am who I am.

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